Chapter 2: Assembly
As we got into the hall, we sat down on the second row, just before a hoard of students piled into the hall, trying to find seats with friends. Pandora started talking about some rubbish that Effy and Minnie couldn't understand, and when this happened, and it happens a lot, we just choose to ignore her and nod along as if we understand and agree.
Just as Effy was gonna say something, Minnie noticed out of the corner of her eye, that the boys we saw earlier had appeared in the hall, and sat behind us to the left slightly. Minnie turned her head and gave them a small smile then turned back around to see Effy smirking at her twin sister.
"Trying to have eye sex on the first day. Tut tut tut, Minnie." Effy said.
Minnie giggled. "Not as good as actual sex though sadly."
"Hey." Effy said, as she turned to her twin sister.
"Okay. Sex on the first day." Minnie said, as she turned to her twin sister.
Before we could joke any longer, the introduction assembly began.
"Welcome to Roundview College. A meeting place for young people." This automated voice played on the speakers before the head of college and the other teachers and lecturers spoke.
"Attention! Pay attention, look at you!" He said.
"Thank you, Doug. Welcome to Roundview College. We are a designated four star educational establishment under the National We're All In It Together Initiative leading to Ultimate Improvement status. Anyone who screws that up will be officially burnt at the stake." She was a short woman, 40s-50s, short brown-black hair above her shoulders and a hideous dress that looked worse than Theresa May.
"And expelled." Doug said.
She then continued. "Yes, and expelled. God help you all, you're gonna get some qualifications. Any questions?" Nobody asked any questions so she got on with the groups.
"Last year, we had some intolerable incidents so, I want to make this easy for you. The following will result in instant expulsion - smoking on the premises, setting fire to the premises, consumption of alcohol on the premises, consumption of drug on the premises, consumption of pornography on the premises, teacher abuse, glue abuse, self abuse, sеxual intercourse with any other student, teacher or animal or combination of the above including oral sеx and/or use of sеx toys, on the premises." She said after her speech, where everybody was either falling asleep or high. Everyone just nodded, going along with it as if at least one rule hadn't been broken before walking in this hall today.
"She is crazy." Minnie nodded.
"Yeah." Effy said.
"Miss Reedy, our new head of communications." She introduced, and lifted her arm as if to summon her, which Miss Reddy, an anxious looking woman, complied. "Miss Reedy is joining us from... Where are you joining us from?" She then waited for Miss Reddy to answer.
"Um, I had some time off. Seven years. It was stress-related but feeling a bit better now, hopefully…" Miss Reedy stuttered nervously.
"Oh, Christ." The woman muttered.
"Form BD1, say your name, please, when I... Put your hands up, please, when I call your, erm, name." Miss Reedy then started listing off a bunch of names including two out of three of the teens that she had seen at the burger van.
"Emily Fitch?" Miss Reddy asked the doormat twin who looked chilled out and the nerdier raised her hand.
"Katie Fitch?" Miss Reddy asked the bitchier two who had the mug of an older boyfriend raised her hand, looking triumphant for doing something so simple.
"Jonah Jeremia Jones?" Miss Reddy asked the curly haired boy who was sitting with the boys Minnie was looking at earlier to put his hand up.
"JJ, present." Curly boy said.
"James Cook?" Miss Reddy asked the boy in the red shirt who was acting like a fuckboy raised his hand smirking.
"Yo!" The boy in the red shirt yelled and high fived JJ.
"Elizabeth Stonem?" Miss Reddy asked Effy to raise her hand and Cook pretended to shoot her. Minnie rolled her eyes.
"Amelia Stonem?" Miss Reddy asked Minnie to raise her hand, then looked out of the corner of her eye, seeing the skateboard boy make fun signs at her.
Minnie think has the same feelings towards him as she does. The cute boy with the skateboard looked at Minnie.
"Mavis Jarundi?" Miss Reddy asked a random person Minnie didn't recognise and raised their hand.
"Dob...rislawa W... Wieczorek? I'm sorry, you're foreign." Miss Reddy said a random person yet again raised their hand.
After a few more names:
"Frederick McClair?" Miss Reedy asked the skateboard boy to sit.
"Yes." The skateboard boy said, JJ raised his hand, looking over at us with a slight smile which Minnie returned, then faced the front.
Minnie looked at him and smiled and thinks and likes the skateboard boy?
"Naomi Campbell?" Miss Reedy asked the poor girl to sit.
After fucking supermodel. Everyone chuckled minus this one blonde girl who Minnie assumed was Naomi and the same blonde also was one of the people Connie was going to attempt to befriend. She promised herself that her time here will have a lot of friend making so she has more reasons to come back to the UK. They were all still in the gymnasium while Miss Reedy continued reading names for other forms. Minnie gave up listening and started picking at her chipping black nail varnish that coated her longish nails.
"Excuse me?" Naomi asked the lady.
"Yes? What is it?" The lady asked.
"The boy next to me is acting inappropriately." Naomi said.
"How?" The lady asked.
"He wants to show me his tattoo. And not in a nice way." Naomi said.
Minnie just laughs and for a short time she just stops listening, counting how much time she will have to be here. When Minnie gets interrupted by Hariet yelling that someone would show something.
Pandora had headed to the other side of the college to talk to someone while Effy and Minnie walked towards the vending machines before heading to the lockers. She put in the pin for Effy's Dr. Pepper, Minnie's Sprite and paid before paying for her apple juice.
As the girls bent down, her dress hiked up revealing pretty much her whole bum. What she didn't realize was the three boys, yet again, staring at her. Effy and Minnie clearly spotted them as she scoffed and pulled the girl up, taking the drink from Effy's hand and Minnie's standing.
Effy and Minnie had managed to get the locker that she knew used to be Chris' and beside her was the one Effy picked. Minnie put her bag into the locker after slipping a few joints and a lighter into her bra.
Minnie and Effy turned to Freddie to try to speak with the girls.
"Hi." Freddie behind me and Minnie jumped. She felt a hand on her back and then turned around ready to actually punch someone but Effy shut her locker and leant against it recognizing Freddie to be the one staring at her best friend that same morning.
"Hi." Minnie said.
"You don't mind if I take this locker?" Freddie asked.
"You can take anything if you want it enough." Effy said.
"Great. Everything's new and I suppose we should probably, like, you know, all get to know each other." The boy said.
"Why?" Minnie asked.
"Well, um... I dunno. You definitely looked at me this morning, twice. I just thought, you know, maybe we could get to know each other." Freddie said.
Minnie and Effy exchanged looks, Effy nodded, Minnie turned to him.
"I look at lots of people. That doesn't mean I want to get to know them." Minnie said and turned back to her locker trying to hide a small smile.
"Do you want her to want to get to know you?" Effy asked, her thumb pointing back at Minnie and getting the boy's attention.
"I, um, i wouldn't mind." Freddie said, looking the pair up and down.
"Thing is, they want to get to know me too." Effy said, as she turned her head at Cook and JJ. Just as Minnie thought. She picked a total dildo.
"They're just wankers." Freddie said.
"They're your best friends." Minnie said.
"Okay, so they're my best friends." Freddie agrees and Minnie try not to laugh.
"We're twin sisters." Minnie said.
"That makes it complicated." Effy said.
"Not really, you get to know him, I get to know James Cook boom sorted." Minnie smiled sweetly only to be elbowed in the ribs.
Christ, she's such a tease. Minnie doesn't really mind when she does it with herself, but now she's involving me in this mess as well. And Minnie hates it when she starts doing that.
"Um, I was hoping not." Freddie says, looking at Minnie. Sometimes Minnie wonders why she doesn't feel ashamed by someone looking me straight in the eyes. "I'm Freddie."
"Minnie." Minnie said.
"Tell you what, Freddie. Fill in a form." Effy says slapping my hand down and taking a list of things that aren't allowed in this college and handing it to Freddie.
"What's this?" Freddie asked.
"A list of things we're not allowed to do. Like that head director said before your bestest mate got his cock out. I was gonna see if I could tick 'em all before the end of the day. But this is much more interesting. First one to fill that out gets to… get to know me. And no cheating. I'll need evidence." Effy explained.
"Okay." Freddie said.
"Cos I won't fuck a cheat." Effy said walk towards.
"Sorry?" Freddie asks and turns his head to Effy just walks away leaving Minnie alone with him.
"Don't mind her. She's mental." Minnie said, looking at the list. "Sex in school? Interesting."
"Are you going to do this?" Freddie asked.
"Nah. I'm not that type of a girl." Minnie said with a smile.
"What type?" Freddie asked.
"The type that would do glue, set something on fire or abuse teachers." Minnie said, close her locker.
"What?" Freddie asked.
"Good luck." Minnie said, her right eye wink and walk towards.
"Are you serious?" Freddie asked.
Minnie just walked away leaving Freddie and found her twin sister.
Minnie and Effy caught up with Pandora when they were already standing near the classroom. Pandora had found the girls when they were on their way to their form. The pair had many people eyeballing them in the corridors, mainly for their lack of clothing and the fact Effy is literally only wearing a top over her underwear, at least Minnie put on shorts despite the fact they were short shorts.
"It's bloody annoying they put us in different forms. I mean, okay, I'm totally useless and Mum says I have to do Hair and Beauty, but I'm good at Philosophy. I can't understand why I can't do Hair and Philosophy. You can't cos it turns out Hair and Beauty is one subject, not two. Blooming Nora, how mad is that?" Pandora asked.
"It's inexplicable, Pand." Minnie said.
"Yeah. Inexplicable. What does inexplicable mean, Eff?" Pandora asked.
"Can't explain." Effy said.
Minnie walked to Effy and Pandora, she saw a tall blond guy talk with Pandora and then walk away like she could bite him at any given moment. Minnie rolled eyes.
"All right! Suit yourself, then. Whoa!" Pandora said.
"Who's your friend?" Bruno asked.
"Pandora. Wow! You're a corker." Pandora said.
"I'll ask." Effy said.
"Gotta go. Lesson one, practical skills. Filing our nails - handy! I'm Pandora. I'm useless." Pandora said, as she walked away.
Minnie stands next to Effy while Pandora is walking away before saying something like.
"I'm useless." Emily said or something like that.
"Cute." Katie said, as she turned to Effy and Minnie's small smile. "I'm Katie, that's my sister. Aren't you two Effy Stonem and Amelia Stonem? Haven't you got a really cool brother and cousin?" She asked.
"Yeah, he's cool." Effy said using her catch up doesn't give a tone.
"That's my sister." Minnie nodded.
"All my friends fancied him. I wasn't so fussed. Didn't he go mental? Anyway, I've got a boyfriend. He plays for Bristol Rover reserves." Katie said.
"Wow." Minnie said.
"Impressive." Effy said with a smile.
Minnie stopped listening after that and just kept staring at Emily who looked so freaking shy. Effy squeezed Minnie's wrist one more time.
"Yeah. He's well lush. Let's sit together. We can chat because, you know... We're the best-looking in here, really. Sorry but we are. We should hang out. Definitely." Katie said.
Katie sees Naomi.
"Oh no, here it comes." Katie said, as Minnie and Effy turned around to see what she was talking about. "Total lezzer bitch."
Naomi stood next to Minnie and gave her a small smile. Minnie watched how Naomi looked at Emily and at Katie.
"Excuse me." Naomi said and Katie moved.
"Like, don't talk to her. She tried to snog my sister in middle school." Katie said, as she is never going to shut up, is she? "Pervy. Don't you two think?" She's done and Minnie's done with her again.
"Watch out, Katie." Naomi said, sneaking up to Katie from behind. "I might get confused and fսck you with my big strap-on by mistake."
Minnie never had tried so hard to stop from laughing than right now.
"Muff-munching bitch. Just jumped on you, didn't she…" Katie said, as she turned to her sister.
"Leave it, Katie." Emily said.
Minnie couldn't listen to Katie anymore so she just walked to the classroom leaving Effy alone to deal with that bitch.
"Whatever. Come on. We'll get the best seats, yeah?" Katie asked, as she walked away.
"So, you the doormat, then?" Effy asked.
"Sort of." Emily said.
"Interesting, that you just put up with that." Minnie said.
"Yeah." Emily said.