Chapter 20: WTF Crime Scene

APOV

Fri Jan 21/05

I woke up again in Forks, the same gray light filtering through the curtains, the same sounds of rain tapping against the windows. It felt like Groundhog Day, but I couldn't say I minded all that much. I was getting used to the routine, and if I was honest with myself, I was enjoying being a little less guarded around Jasper. There was something about him—his presence, his calm—that made navigating the Dreamworld a bit easier to handle.

But then, just as I was about to slide out of bed, I felt it. A wave of immense, crippling pain twisted through my abdomen, and I knew exactly what it was. Menstrual cramps.

Of course, this version of Anya had to deal with them. Why wouldn't she?

The pain was so intense it knocked the breath out of me, leaving me curled up in bed, clutching my stomach.

Great. Just great, I thought, the sarcasm doing little to dull the agony. There was no way I was going to make it out of the house to play librarian today. Screw that shit.

After a few minutes of trying to breathe through the pain, I realized I needed to call in sick. Crawling to the bedside table, I grabbed my phone and, with trembling hands, dialed the school's number. I could barely get the words out as I left a message, telling them I wouldn't be in. No details, just that I was sick. Not that I could explain this anyway.

I managed to make it to the bathroom, where I curled up on the cold tile floor, the only place that seemed to offer any relief. The pain was relentless, waves of it crashing over me until I could hardly think straight. I was used to dealing with cramps, but this? This was on another level.

Just as I thought things couldn't get worse, I felt it—the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end, a telltale sign that a vampire was nearby. I didn't even need to open my eyes to know who it was.

"Jesus, Jasper, get back," I groaned, my voice strained as I tried to push myself up, but the pain was too much. My mind was racing, unnerved by the fact that a vampire—who spent the majority of his existence drinking from humans—was here while I was, well, actively bleeding. Goddamn it, Meyer, how did you not touch on this in the books?

I cracked an eye open to see Jasper standing in the doorway, his face etched with concern. He looked as if he wasn't sure whether to come closer or stay where he was, clearly torn between wanting to help and respecting my very obvious discomfort. And I could see his eyes ever so slightly begin to darken.

"Either knock me out," I muttered through gritted teeth, "or get Doc McVampy to make an emergency house call with powerful drugs. This is hell."

Jasper hesitated for a moment, then quickly nodded, his expression shifting from concern to determination. "I'll get Carlisle," he said, his voice steady. "Just hang in there, Anya. I'll be right back."

I let out a shaky breath, once he disappeared, curling back into the fetal position. This was not how I'd planned to spend my Friday, but then again, nothing about this place ever went according to plan.

I hadn't been on the bathroom floor for long when I heard the front door open, followed by quiet, purposeful footsteps. Carlisle was here and judging by the nearly imperceptible shift in the air, Jasper was still hovering in the hallway, his concern palpable even from a distance. The pain was still overwhelming, and the last thing I needed was to feel like a buffet while I was curled up on the bathroom floor. Jasper's presence was only making it worse, my nerves on edge despite the fact that he was trying to help.

"Damnit, Jasper," I snapped, my voice strained and sharp. "Get your struggling vegetarian ass out of here!"

There was a brief pause, and then I heard the faintest sigh as Jasper retreated, his footsteps reluctantly moving away. The tension eased just a fraction, but I was still left dealing with the full force of the cramps that had me practically immobile.

Carlisle appeared in the doorway, his expression calm but with a clear note of concern in his eyes. "Anya," he said gently, "Jasper told me what's happening. I'm here to help."

I could barely manage a nod, the pain making it hard to focus on anything else. Still, I couldn't resist my natural tendency to deflect with humour, even if it was through gritted teeth. "McVampy," I muttered, catching his curious look as I spoke the nickname.

"McVampy?" Carlisle repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Interesting choice of words."

I attempted a weak smile, but it came out more like a grimace. "Oh, you know, Grey's Anatomy—Seattle, McDreamy, McSteamy... and you, well, you're McVampy." I paused, the pain spiking again. "Or do you prefer McFangy? I'm open to suggestions as soon as I get some goddamn pain meds!"

Carlisle chuckled softly; his amusement tempered by the obvious discomfort I was in. "McVampy will do just fine," he said, moving closer with the ease of someone who had seen it all before. "Let's get you some relief first, and then we can talk about nicknames."

He knelt down beside me and began to carefully assess the situation. Despite my earlier frustration, I was grateful for his expertise. Although what there was to assess I don't know other than this was a fucking nightmare.

Carlisle quickly administered something, the needle prick barely registering to me—pain relief, I hoped—and the effects began to kick in almost immediately. The intense cramping eased to a more bearable level, and the fog of pain started to lift. I let out a shaky breath of relief, finally able to think clearly for the first time since my alarm went off.

Once the pain subsided, I found myself unexpectedly grateful to have a moment alone with Carlisle, despite the circumstances. There was something I needed to discuss with him—something practical that had been nagging at the back of my mind since I'd first started digging through the scattered remains of my alternate self's life here.

"Carlisle," I began, my voice still weak but steadier now that the worst of the pain had passed. "I... I need your help with something."

He looked at me with that calm, attentive gaze of his. "Of course, Anya. What is it?"

I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. "It's about... medical records. My medical records." I paused, gathering my thoughts. "Or rather, her records—alternate Anya's. I've been going through her things, trying to get a sense of her life, but when it comes to medical stuff, there's not much to go on. And with all of her family... well, with them gone, I've hit a dead end."

The irony of that phrase wasn't lost on me, and I almost laughed at the thought of asking the undead for help with something so mundane. But I quickly pushed that aside, knowing this was important, and I needed to focus.

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. "I see. That could be a challenge, especially if the records are incomplete. But I'll do whatever I can to help you access what you need."

I was relieved but I still had a nagging thought that needed to be addressed. "Thanks, Carlisle," I said, genuinely grateful. "And... about the nickname. Maybe McVampy is a bit too close to those treaties and unspoken laws we've been trying to tiptoe around."

He smiled faintly but nodded in understanding. "Perhaps. But don't worry—I won't hold it against you."

I managed a weak chuckle. "Good to know. I just... I'm meticulous about this kind of thing, you know? I don't want any more unwanted attention if you catch my drift."

"I understand, Anya."

I took a deep breath, the remnants of pain still gnawing at the edges of my consciousness. "Thanks, Carlisle. But, um... I have another problem that's a bit more immediate."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly attentive. "What's that?"

"Well," I began, feeling a bit self-conscious, "I could really use some help getting back to bed. The floor isn't exactly the most comfortable place to be right now, and I'm not sure I can make it there on my own."

Carlisle smiled gently, clearly more than willing to help. "Of course. Let's get you back to bed where you'll be more comfortable."

When he moved to help me, another thought struck me—one that had been simmering in the back of my mind ever since Jasper showed up earlier. "And, uh... what do I do about Jasper?" I asked, the question slipping out before I could second-guess it "I mean, your creator was a little vague about how to handle certain... situations when someone's, well, not at their best."

Carlisle paused, clearly understanding what I was getting at, his expression carefully neutral. "Jasper's concern for you is genuine, Anya. But you're right—situations like this can be challenging for him. He's made a lot of progress, but it's understandable that you'd feel... concerned."

I shook my head, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. "Concerned isn't exactly the word I'd use," I muttered, trying to keep my voice even. "Let's just say I'm more annoyed at your creator's lack of practical guidance on these... situations."

Carlisle's lips twitched, almost as if he wanted to smile but was holding back. "Understandable. We're all navigating uncharted territory here."

For fucks sakes! "Really? I have to ask, are you a special kind of stupid? You're a damn doctor—this is hardly uncharted territory!" I snapped, the frustration boiling over. "Esti de câlice de tabarnak!," I spat, the Quebecois curse slipping out before I could stop it.

I hated this. I hated everything about this situation, and I was beginning to think I truly hated ever picking up Twilight in the first place. Seeing the doc looking at me, both frustrated and perplexed, I just waved a hand, too exhausted to care about politeness anymore. "Look, just go. Leave the drugs, please. And pass me my phone. Have Tex call me. From a safe distance!"

He didn't argue, merely handed me my phone, then set the painkillers down within easy reach. "I'll make sure Jasper calls you," he said softly.

I didn't bother responding. I just wanted him out of the room so I could collect my thoughts, have some peace. I curled up in the fetal position, still uncomfortable but slightly better now that I was back in my own bed. My bed from Montreal—it was surreal seeing it here in Forks. The familiarity of it only made the situation feel more disorienting. The tears started to fall, unbidden, as the reality of everything hit me all over again. How the hell had my life turned into this?

Just as I was beginning to cave in and go full blast pity party, the phone rang. I didn't bother checking the caller ID; I knew who it had to be.

"I swear to God, Tex, if you are within smelling distance, I will throw the damn phone out the window," I snapped, my voice shaky from the mix of anger and exhaustion.

There was a pause on the other end, followed by a soft, somewhat amused chuckle. "Don't worry," Jasper's voice came through, calm and steady. "I'm a good ways off, I promise."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, relieved but still feeling raw. "Good. Because right now, I'm not in the mood to test your self-control."

"I understand," he replied, his tone serious but gentle. "I just wanted to check on you. Carlisle told me you were... dealing with some things."

"Yeah, well, 'dealing' is one way to put it," I muttered, wiping at my eyes.

"You don't have to do deal alone, you know," Jasper said softly. "I'm here, even if it's from a distance."

"Oh, cut the crap, Jasper," I snapped, the frustration flaring up again. "I'm not in the mood for empty platitudes. Why don't you tell me why you were in my house during daylight hours? Hardly our routine now, is it?"

There was a pause on the other end, and I could almost hear him weighing his words before he responded. "You're right," he admitted, his tone shifting from gentle to more straightforward. "It's not our routine. But I was worried. I could sense something was wrong, and I didn't want to wait until nightfall to check on you."

I sighed, my anger deflating slightly at his honesty. "Worried," I repeated. "I didn't think that was part of our arrangement either."

"Maybe not," Jasper replied, his voice calm but firm. "But I care about you, Anya. I couldn't just ignore it."

Maybe it was the drugs, maybe they were a little too powerful, because I felt my resolve slipping. But at this point, I really didn't care. I had two vampires in my house while I lay prone like a murder victim on my bathroom floor. All that was missing was the crime scene tape.

"Yeah, well, I care about you too, Tex," I found myself admitting, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "Like I said, you got the shitty end of the stick by your creator. I'm not ashamed to admit I was Team Jasper."

There was a pause on the other end, and I could almost see Jasper raising an eyebrow. "Oh? The fangirls had teams? Who's the third in the love triangle?"

"Esti de câlice de tabarnak," I groaned, realizing I might have let a little too much slip. "Sadly, it wasn't you. Although... it is a hill I'm willing to die on—Team Jasper to the end."

Jasper chuckled; a low, warm sound that made my chest tighten just a little. "Well, I appreciate the loyalty. I'll try not to disappoint."

"You won't," I murmured, feeling the weight of everything settle over me as the drugs did their work. "But seriously, next time, just text. And remember... Team Jasper."

"Will do," he said, his voice softening. "Rest up, Anya. We'll talk later."

"Yeah," I whispered, feeling the pull of sleep. "Later."

As I let the phone slip from my hand, I couldn't help but smile to myself.

I awoke to find a pair of honey-gold eyes staring at me.

"What the—?!" I spat out, my heart nearly leaping out of my chest. "Do you guys seriously have issues with personal space?!"

But as my vision cleared, I realized it wasn't Tex hovering over me—it was Alice, her wide-eyed gaze filled with curiosity.

"What?" I groaned, the shock turning into exasperation as I reached for my glasses. "Sacrament! Can this day get any worse? What the hell, Alice? Why are you here?"

The pixie-like vampire just smiled, her laughter light and almost musical, before she handed over a small bag. "Thought you might need these," she said, her tone cheerful as ever.

I stared at the bag in her hand—tampons and pads. My mortification was instant and complete.

"Alice," I muttered, feeling my face heat up, "you didn't have to—"

"Relax," she interrupted with a grin. "I've seen worse. Consider it a friendly gesture. We girls have to stick together, right?"

Did she ever drink from humans? I needed her out of my house.

I sighed, too tired to argue with the logic, in spite of the surrealness of the situation. "Thanks, I guess," I mumbled, taking the bag from her.

Alice just smiled wider, as if my discomfort amused her to no end. "Anytime, Anya. Besides, someone had to make sure you were taken care of."

"Yeah, well, mission accomplished," I replied, trying to muster some semblance of gratitude while still processing the fact that I had woken up to yet another vampire in my personal space. Who had seen things worse than a woman with menstrual cramps. Go away!

Alice gave me a playful wink but paused at the doorway, her expression turning more serious. "So... it'll be safe in four days? Five? The ahh, vision is a bit spotty."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Well, given the fact that I don't typically find myself bedridden during this particular issue, I suggest you ask Carlisle. He's tracking down my medical records."

Alice tilted her head, her expression thoughtful. "I'll do that," she said, her tone lightening again. "Just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page."

"Great," I muttered, the exhaustion catching up with me. "Glad we're coordinating." Is the whole family going to know my cycle? That was creepy. Yeah, fucking creepy if I'm being honest.

She grinned mischievously. "Always a pleasure, Anya. Now, get some rest." And with that, she twirled around and vanished from the room as quickly as she'd appeared.

I let out a long breath, sinking back into the pillows.

By the time evening rolled around, I'd managed to drag myself into the shower, hoping the hot water would sooth my aching body. The steam helped clear my head, and for a few precious moments, I felt almost normal again. But as I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel, the last thing I expected was to be greeted by yet another pair of golden eyes.

"Seriously?" I muttered, exasperation bubbling up as I glared at the intruder.

Carlisle stood in the doorway, his expression calm and composed, which only served to irritate me more. "House call," he said simply, as if that explained everything.

I huffed, running a hand through my damp hair. "You know, this day just keeps getting better and better," I said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Carlisle gave me a small, sympathetic smile. "Esme made some food—Jasper mentioned you're a fan of smoked salmon and Montreal bagels."

That made me pause. The offer of food was tempting, especially after the day I'd had. But the real kicker came when Carlisle continued, his tone shifting to something more serious. "And more importantly, I managed to track down your medical records."

I froze, the weight of those words sinking in. "Give me a few minutes to change, and I'll be downstairs," I replied, curious to know more about American Anya.

He nodded and stepped out of the room, leaving me to quickly throw on some comfortable plain PJ bottoms and my faded Michigan State sweatshirt—the same one I'd been wearing that first disorienting morning when I found myself in Forks. It felt oddly fitting to wear it now, as I prepared to face yet another layer of this strange new reality.

When I made my way downstairs, I found Carlisle in the kitchen, pointing to the food he had plated for me. The sight of the smoked salmon, with a thick layer of cream cheese and capers liberally sprinkled on the fresh cut Montreal bagel brought a small, genuine smile to my face.

"Thanks," I said, the appreciation clear, in my voice as I leaned against the counter.

Carlisle gave a small nod, his expression softening. "You're welcome. But there's something else I need to share with you. Your alternate—well, she had an extensive history of intense menstrual cramps."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I processed this new information. "Well, shit. That's a blast. So, how did she—or I—deal with it?"

Carlisle shrugged, his expression a mix of sympathy and resignation. "It appears that Anya just... suffered through them. Or perhaps learned to live with the pain."

I thought about that for a moment, letting the irony sink in. In my world, I'd suffered through intense migraines all my life, debilitating headaches that would knock me out for hours, sometimes days. Since arriving in Forks, though, I hadn't had a single one. The realization made me laugh—a short, incredulous sound that caught the good doctor off guard.

He looked at me, perplexed. "What is it?"

"Well," I said, still chuckling a little, "it would appear that she and I share something in common dealing with pain. I was blessed with migraines; she got the menstrual cramps. Though to be honest, I'd fucking rather have the headache. That I know how to handle. This—" I pointed at my abdominal area, "—is unbearable."

Carlisle's expression softened. "It's not easy, I know. But at least now we have a better idea of what you're dealing with."

"Yeah," I muttered, taking another bite of my dinner. "Still, I could do without the suffering bit."

He offered a sympathetic smile. "You should have enough painkillers to last you the next few months."

I nodded, appreciating his efforts even as I struggled to wrap my head around how the Dreamworld works, how in one world, I had migraines, yet in this one cramps.

Seeing that I was alright and semi-mobile, Carlisle made his leave, offering a few more words of reassurance before quietly slipping out the door. The house was quiet again, and I debated heading into my home office, wishing Jasper would be there. But I knew that until Aunt Flo packed up and left, that wasn't a possibility. So, instead, I headed back upstairs with my MP3 player, crawled into bed, and tried to find some semblance of peace.

I let the music wash over me, something familiar and soothing from my playlist, but my mind kept drifting. Despite everything, I found myself thinking about Jasper, about the connection we were building—even if it was complicated by... well, everything.

It wasn't long before the phone rang, pulling me out of my thoughts. Without bothering to check the caller ID, I answered. "Hey, Tex."

There was a brief pause on the other end, and then Jasper's familiar voice came through, warm and tinged with amusement. "You're getting good at this."

"Yeah, well, you're the only one who calls me anymore," I replied, the corner of my mouth lifting into a small smile. My family is dead, remember? "And honestly, it's nice to hear a friendly voice."

"Likewise," he said, the sincerity in his tone making my chest tighten just a little. "How are you holding up?"

I sighed, rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling. "Better, I guess. Carlisle brought over some food, which helped. Thanks for telling Esme about my preferences. And he found my records, so at least I know what I'm dealing with now."

"Good," Jasper said, relief evident in his voice. "I was worried about you. And I'm glad you enjoyed the food."

"I did, it was comforting. As for worrying about me, there's really no need for that. If I can handle lunch with your family, I can handle this." I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt. I wonder if I could have some wine with these pain meds? Probably not.

"I never doubted that," he said softly, and for a moment, the warmth in his voice was almost enough to make me forget about everything else.

"Still," I murmured, my eyes drifting closed, "it'd be nice if it didn't feel if someone was wringing my uterus like a dish rag."

He chuckled. "I'm with you on that."

Is that code for you're missing me?

Getting more comfortable, I settled deeper into the pillows, letting the tension in my body ease just a bit. "So, tell me, Tex," I began, my voice light with curiosity, "since I missed being at school today, did I miss anything of note between Heathcliff and the Duck?"

"Well, as you know, he did a midnight flit to Alaska and is still there," Jasper replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Though Alice is confident he'll be back by Monday. The Duck is very confused, which has been... amusing to observe."

I couldn't help but snicker at the image. "I can only imagine. She must be going out of her mind trying to figure out why he took off without a word."

"Pretty much," Jasper confirmed, his tone light. "She's been asking everyone if they know where he went, but no one's giving her any answers. Emmett's got a pool going for when she figures it out."

"Of course," I muttered, rolling my eyes at the predictability of it all. "Classic Edward—dash off without a trace, leaving the rest of you to deal with the fallout."

"Exactly," Jasper agreed, a chuckle slipping into his voice. "But don't worry. I'm sure he'll make a dramatic return."

I had been nodding along, enjoying the sound of his drawl, letting it soothe the lingering tension in my body. But my thoughts were derailed by his comment about a dramatic return.

Shit—the van versus Heathcliff. Great. The memory of that scene from the book hit me. Should I share that with Jasper? Did it even matter? My mind began wrestling with the implications, the potential consequences, and the sheer absurdity of the situation. I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely registered Jasper's voice as he tried to get my attention.

"Anya—are you there? Did I say something?"

His concern pulled me back to the present, and I quickly tried to shake off my internal debate. "Sorry, Tex," I said, my voice a little shaky as I tried to cover up my momentary lapse. "Just... got lost in thought for a second. You didn't say anything wrong."

There was a brief pause on his end as he chewed over what I said. "You sure? You went quiet on me."

Does pathokinesis work over the phone? I thought he needed to be physically close.

I stayed silent, unsure how to navigate this. Part of me kind of loved the idea of bringing Jasper in on the secret, letting him watch the book unfold from the sidelines with me. But while this was all fictional to me, it was still very real to him.

And I couldn't. I didn't want to play with his life. Sure, I wanted to play with him. But not that way.

"Anya?" Jasper's voice broke through my thoughts, his tone cautious but probing. "The playbook is going along as written, isn't it? Is this what you meant about leaning into the struggling vegetarian? That I should prepare for that?"

"Oh, Tex..." I sighed, my heart sinking at how perceptive he was. I always thought he was the smartest one and he was proving it.

"Anya," he pressed gently, "if there's something I need to know, just tell me. I'd rather be prepared."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "It's just... there are things coming. Things that are going to test everyone. And yes, that includes you. But I don't want you to think I'm trying to manipulate this, or you."

Jasper was quiet for a moment, letting my words sink in. "I trust you, Anya," he finally said, his voice steady and calm. "And if you say something's coming, I'll be ready for it. Just promise me you'll keep me in the loop."

A small smile tugged at my lips. "I promise, Tex. I'll do my best to keep you in the loop."

"Get some rest, Anya," he drawled.

"Night, Jasper," I said softly, my earlier tension easing as I finally let myself relax.

"Night," he replied, and with that, I let the conversation fade, holding onto the comfort his words brought as I drifted off to sleep.

A/N: next chapter update may not be until late next week. Happy Friday!