My Time

Chapter 26

Arcturus sat in his office chair, in the darkened bedroom, spare bedroom that was becoming too familiar as of late. The dark drapes shutting out every single possible entry of light. The only light were a few flickering candles he had lit, the smell of alcohol permeating the air. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked tiredly, groggily and blindly searching for his wand. The fire had gone out some time in the night after he'd fallen asleep.

Licking his dry cracked lips, "Lynx!" he called out, extremely dry due to the alcohol intake and nothing else. The goblet of water that had been brought up earlier was still in it's container now lukewarm no doubt and disgusting.

The House-elf appeared with a tray of food, clicking her fingers she placed the table in front of him. Then lay the tray in front of him, Arcturus grasped a hold of the orange juice immediately, and drank it in one go. Groaning softly, a single glance down brought him to the realisation that he'd drank at least half a bottle last night. More than that actually, since it had been more than half full.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as the goblet of orange juice filled again. He just wanted to drink some more, sleep again, just anything to stop thinking full stop. Acidic bitterness bubbling up his throat, nausea almost getting the better of him.

The shock last night had been so severe that everything still felt hazy. As if he had been watching everything through a film reel. He remembered finishing the meeting, the spell that tore his brother's magical core to shreds, one known only to Lord Black had access to the Black Grimoire. Then Apparated him to the middle of Muggle London. The last thing he heard was his brother hollering at his back, swearing revenge.

Unfortunately, for Pollux, he'd know every single step he made, the tracking charm is a rather handy thing to have on someone you didn't trust. He wasn't able to bring himself to kill his youngest brother, he just couldn't do it. Isaac Burke had been so easy, but his brother…there were lines. Losing his magic and family just had to be enough.

The smell of the coffee was too enticing for words, he drank the entire goblet or orange juice again before picking up a mug of coffee. It was then that his full bladder made its disgruntlement known. Closing his eyes, he wanted someone to knock him out, stun him, anything, the thoughts running through his minds.

Staggering up, he blindly and from memory staggered towards the bathroom. Just in time too, as that sick feeling overwhelmed him entirely. He regurgitated everything he'd drank somehow managing to generate more tears, he wasn't sure how he wasn't entirely dehydrated yet. Between the alcohol and the constant tears, he'd been shedding since earlier evening yesterday. He hadn't cried so much in his life, not even when Marius had gone.

He'd only had Marius for one decade, whereas he'd been a big brother to Pollux for over three decades. He'd never, ever thought it would end like this, it was all his fault, all his fault. His son hadn't done anything to deserve Pollux's hatred through. Between bouts of sick his mind continued to circle every conversation, argument, meeting he'd ever had with his brother, analysing it, as if expecting something to jump out at him. To be able to point at it and say to himself, there, you missed everything pointing towards it. Unfortunately, there was no such thing. Pollux was extremely smart, smarter than even him, judging by their OWLS and NEWTS.

The muted sound of doors opening and the padding of feet met his ears. Considering his son wasn't talking to him…he guessed it was his wife. His daughter wouldn't walk into a room without permission, she'd learned from a young age to always knock and wait.

"Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?" Melania demanded curtly, pausing at the entrance to the En-Suite bathroom. Knowing best how to get through to her husband, she knew him better than anyone else after all. "Or will I be trying to clean up the mess on my own?" or what she thought might be the best way, she had never seen her husband so distraught before.

Arcturus' head snapped up at that, frowning at her wording, "What's wrong?" blearily remembering his wife comforting his son last night.

"You are joking, aren't you, Lord Black?" Melania asked pointedly, hands on her hips, staring at her husband shaking her head incredulously.

Arcturus flinched, oh, his wife was way beyond pissed, and it was aimed at him. Well, why not? It seemed as of late he couldn't do anything right. Not by anyone. Staring down at the floor, he wasn't used to feeling this way, like his insides had been scooped out by a spoon and he just felt hollow. He didn't know what to do, how to make it right. Blacks don't apologise, Blacks don't feel ashamed, Blacks are superior, all feelings his mother had instilled in him…but Melania had corrected that belief. He honestly didn't know where he'd be without her.

She loved him unconditionally, she didn't care about the money, status or anything of the sort. She did bear the responsibilities with pride and quiet dignity. Quiet dignity, closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and grimaced. Flushing the toilet, he shakily got to his feet.

First things first, his immediate family, Orion and Lucretia and then Alphard, Cygnus and…Walburga afterwards. "Will you help me decide what to do with the boys and Wally?" he asked turning to face his wife, "Please?" it wasn't going to be easy, but no more feeling sorry for himself.

Melania's frosty attitude melted, knowing that was for her benefit. A way of apologising without actually saying the words. Her husband had only apologised a few times in their marriage, after the loss of their unborn children, after she found out about the contract, but they were very rare and memories she'd really rather not dwell on. "Of course, I will," it was better for the boys too, they were clearly ill affected by what had happened.

Arcturus nodded, approaching his wife, taking her hand and kissing it, "I'm so sorry, my actions as of late have been…deplorable." Genuinely apologetic, grey eyes flicking up to his wife's.

"You're forgiven," she said, it wasn't her he had been so deplorably rude to. "It's not just me you need to apologise to," Melania pointed out softly, he'd alienated nearly everyone in the family, "You scared Cedrella and Septimus, you terrified nearly everyone Arcturus…and I'm not going to mention how you were with Lord Peverell." A fellow Lord, it was beyond contemptable.

Arcturus grimaced, his fuzzy mind recalling how atrociously he'd behaved, yes, he had some grovelling to do. Blacks don't grovel, but they would grovel to each other, family first, always. "I shall apologise,"

"Preferably before your son turns eighteen!" Melania teased, "Now shower, everyone's eating breakfast." She would soon be planning her son's eighteenth birthday party, and she couldn't wait. She already had a venue chosen, Black castle, Orion loved it there. Sure, it wasn't as important as turning seventeen, but she wanted to spoil her only son.

Nothing was official yet though.

Turning on her heel, her mood significantly improved, content that her husband had ceased his pity party. Yes, he'd been dealt a significantly harsh blow, but he couldn't break down like that. He had a family that he needed to look after, that needed his immediate care. They could grieve for the Pollux they remembered together. But she couldn't watch her husband drink bottles of whiskey and irreparably destroy what relationships he had left.

The incessant hooting of an owl brought Hayden out of his fitful sleep. He'd probably had three or four hours total, too restless, mind too loud for any rest. He'd gotten too attached, too quickly, and forgot to question his good luck. Carriers were considered great boons to any family, mostly because any child of that union was guaranteed to be very powerful.

Shaking off his thoughts, finding it too painful. He wanted to believe that Orion wouldn't do that, wanted so badly to believe. Yet he couldn't, he couldn't trust anyone fully. He'd trusted Ginny…Merlin, he'd loved her. Yet look what happened, she'd literally killed him.

So, it was all too easy to believe he was being used.

Yawning tiredly, he moved over and drew the flaps of the of the tent, and found Orion's black owl – the yin to Hedwig's Yang – waiting with a parcel and a letter. There was also a barn owl there too, with just a letter.

Part of Hayden wondered whether to send it home with the parcel and ignore Orion. It would serve him right, really, and Hayden noticed Orion didn't like being ignored. He'd never had anyone ignore him in his life, so it was a good way to get under his skin.

But his curiosity outweighed all else, what was he sending in a box? Accepting the gift, he unwound it gently from the owl's leg. The owl made no effort to move, indicating it was waiting on a reply.

Turning back into the tent, as the gift expanded in size with its removal from the owl. He noticed, to no surprise, that it was Orion, his handwriting was becoming easily recognizable as his own.

Hayden licked his lips, breaking the Black seal, he opened the letter and begun to read what Orion had to say.

Hayden,

You know, my father always said a Black never apologies, to anyone. That each action and reaction we take we make with the understanding that it was the best course of action at the time. That regret changes nothing, and only brings you down.

It wasn't the best course of action for me to take, therefore I am sorry. I do regret blurting out your secrets. They weren't for me to tell, please, forgive me.

Enclosed you'll find the first of my courting gifts to you, your words had given me cause to hope, more so than I'd ever allowed myself to have.

Yours,

Orion

Hayden's breathing hitched, a courting gift, something like that would be a week or weeks in the making. Green eyes glowing he opened the cardboard box to find a black velvet box inside.

Opening the box, he found a pocket watch encased inside a bed of velvet. On the front of the pocket watch, were the blue diamond studded letters 'HP' on the front. At the back, were both the Peverell and Black mottos inscribed. This was…probably worth more than a dozen properties. Blue diamonds and platinum?

Hayden stared at the watch, feeling two different emotions simultaneously. On one hand he was so very grateful and happy to receive the gift. He'd grown up with nothing, and his two best friends, bless them, didn't have much either. So, it was usually journals, books and planners as well as sweets he got from his friends. The pocket watch…it was the most priceless thing he'd ever had. Except for his cloak, map and photo album. Those had been sentimentally priceless, but given time… the watch could be too.

On the other hand, it was too much. That sort of money was obscene, and if it followed the rest of the courting process…the gifts could just be more extravagant.

Opening it up, a small reluctant smile 'Time spent with you, is time well spent'. He was smooth Hayden would say that for him, sighing softly, shaking his head ruefully. Oh, he wanted to forgive him, but the niggling thought…was he just buying his affection because he was a carrier? Was this all it had been? Indulging him despite the fact he was Muggle raised and wouldn't normal even consider them? Or had his presence opened Orion up to a different opinion from his family? Not that they seemed to mind the affection they displayed, admittedly they'd expected Orion to marry and keep him as lover. At least that's what he was making of it.

There was also the fact that Orion had begun the courting…which was traditional for men normally. However, he wasn't a woman, and Hayden didn't know whether to be offended or not…even if he understood society would see him that way with his ability as a carrier.

Setting the gift aside, he opened the letter from the barn owl, that had immediately taken off. He really should get an owl of his own, it was getting tedious having to go to Diagon Alley to the mailing office to send owls off.

Lord Peverell,

I may be able to meet with you on March 1st at twelve noon at the Shrieking Shack just outside Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. If you do not know where it is, I'm sure someone will point it out to you. The meeting will only go ahead should nothing of great importance take precedence. I shall let you know if the date turns out to be unsuitable.

Tom Riddle

Hayden's mouth twitched into a rueful smirk. He could practically hear the words coming out of Tom's mouth. Were Tom's eyes already red? Would they go back to his normal colour once the spell was cast? Even just a short missive the cutting sarcasm was there with the faux politeness.

He was also trying to make himself seem more important. By making him wait so long, and making it clear he was unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Hayden wondered if he'd asked around about him, wondering what it was all about. Dying to know, but with enough discipline to try and make it go in his favour. He was good at waiting, despite his general impatience, each plan was meticulously planned to the last.

He hated having to use the name Tom Riddle, you could tell by the tears in the paper and how the ink spilled marginally. He wasn't as nonchalant as he wanted others to believe when trying it out.

Honestly, why he'd never begun using the Gaunt name and been done with it he would never know. It took only a trip to Gringotts to legally change your name. if he didn't know how intelligent Tom was…he'd be wondering. Then again, what was it, Hermione, had said? Ah, yes, wizards weren't known for their logic. Severus must have known this too, which is why his had been a logic puzzle.

Shaking off his thoughts, he sighed, deciding that two could play at that game. He'd wait a few days before replying to him, he couldn't start their association by kowtowing to him.

Glancing over at his desk, he reluctantly padded over towards it and sat down. Books sat piled high, he had come to realize that O. and N.E. were significantly harder in this time. Which meant he needed to really study; he wasn't sure what he wanted to do in future. he knew, like always, that he wanted something to do with himself. He didn't want to live off his money, he wanted a job. He was just lucky he could take his time to find out what kind of job he really wanted.

Cracking open the Transfiguration text, his heart panged, he missed Orion, he missed Hermione. He was miserable, and yet here he sat, unbudgingly, recalling the way Arcturus had spoken to him, especially after all he'd done strengthened his willpower.

He refused to bow to them, to any of them.

He wasn't a scared little boy in need of direction, or desiring above all else…a home to call his own away from the Dursley's. He didn't need that kind of help, not anymore.

One Week Later

Hayden calculated all the correct answers on the parchment and grinned in vicious satisfaction. Ha! 100% he could learn without Hermione there, contrary to everyone who had gone to school with him. He would pass his OWLs and NEWTs with flying colours. The mock tests he'd been sitting, he hadn't managed this well a score until now, it could only be a good thing.

Rolling it up, excitement thrumming through him, really pleased with himself. A hoot brought him out of his thoughts, it was a familiar sound as of late. He had a lot of correspondence coming back and forth. Standing up he plucked the owl treats from his desk and made his way outside.

Shivering a little as he did so, it was rather cold, the tent was cosy, but stepping outside? It was the worst, the weather was beginning to turn though, so there was that. It wasn't a regular owl; it was Orion's again. Taking the gift and letter absently, "Go home, I've got nothing for you, Archer," he said, despite his words, he was very careful in his regard for the owl as he petted it.

Hayden was just about to turn back into the tent when another screeching had him turning around. A post office owl, he realized, they were very nosy and rather protective – but not as much a Gringotts birds – of their bounty.

Another parcel, nothing of the writing gave it away, and the wax was just wax. Nothing to declare where it had come from. Removing it entirely from the owl's leg, he rushed back into the warmth.

"The warmer weather can't come quick enough," Hayden murmured to himself, as the warming charms and the fire going in the firepit did its job and warmed him – and the area – up.

He checked the parcel from the 'unknown' owl, making sure there was nothing harmful. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing but standard spells, including a shrinking and lightweight charm.

Unwrapping the packages, the smell of new paper wafted up his nose. Inhaling softly, recalling the look on Hermione's face when she got new books. She loved the smell. The two books had officially been published. The shop was still being furnished, but they'd printed some of the books.

First editions at that.

Titled: Mapping of the blood by Hayden Peverell and Orion Black

Second one titled: Interbreeding and its consequences Hayden Peverell and Orion Black

Quite to the point, the titles, but apparently wizards preferred it that way. He'd suggested a few that weren't quite so…on the nose. Unfortunately, nobody had been interested. By that he meant Orion and the wizard actually publishing them had vetoed them. Apparently, he came across as too sarcastic.

Who knew?

The books were quite weightily, the letter he received from the bookbinder was asking if it was alright to continue. Of course, he was a boss now, the were going to ask permission before proceeding. It would be more than their jobs worth to presume to go ahead.

He missed talking to Orion, or spending time with him. He was still ignoring him entirely. Even when he came by the estate, which he was locked out of, once again, nobody but him could get in. He felt he was being too hard on him, but then he'd remember something else he was keeping hidden from everyone including Orion. He needed to trust Orion if he was going to reveal everything one day. Which given what happened…wasn't likely and what did that say about their future? Partners were meant to be able to talk to each other, trust each other with things they wouldn't tell another soul.

Apparently, for Orion, it just meant telling his entire family.

Setting the letter from the publishing firm (his and Orion's publishing firm) on his desk. The desk was becoming very, very cluttered with everything he had going on. He was pushing himself too far, he knew, barely eating, barely sleeping.

Opening the second box, this one he knew was from Orion. A gift, he realized, seeing the box. Opening it up, he frowned, diamonds and emeralds intwined an intricate design gold, and not just plated. It was gaudy, chunky and just…way over the top. How long had that thing been in the Black family? Surely Orion hadn't had this created for him? He honestly wondered how it could hold anyone's hair back.

He flashed back to Lucius Malfoy in his best wizarding gear, his hair up. The chunky thing he'd had in his hair…this was tradition. Orion was trying to share his traditions with him. It's not like the Peverell's would have anything like this available. Gem stones yes, unpolished, but nothing like this, except for the pieces he'd found belonging to the Peverell's. They were one of the rare things that hadn't been moth eaten or useless now.

He'd never been one for tradition though, mostly because he hadn't been raised with it. Staring pensively at the gift, he opened the letter, and read what Orion had to say.

Hayden,

The colour reminded me of your eyes. Every seventeen-year-old receives this item on their birthdays. I know you wouldn't have had a chance to partake in this tradition. I'm sure your father would have done this if he'd had the chance. It's my honour to do so in his stead. To share wizardkind traditions with you.

Yours,

Orion

P.S – if time is what you need to rebuild trust, then time is what I'll give you, but that time won't last forever.

The postscript actually sounded more like a warning than a comment. Clearly Orion was getting impatient with being ignored. Rubbing his eyes, tiredly, it was very early in the morning, not even seven o'clock yet.

Alongside that was an invitation to an Ostara festival/gathering. The equinoxes, one of the four minor sabbats. Which of course, meant that nobody would be working that particular day, it was a holiday. He placed the invite into the new books.

His fingers trailed down the new books, inhaling sharply. He had decided against signing them at the bookstore, he didn't have the time…and honestly? It would be giving them too much publicity given the delicate nature of the books. It would spread much quicker through word of mouth and everyone in the alley would see it anyway. There would be other times, other days, other books.

He laughed incredulously; he was a published author. He had actually co-written two books, how insane was that? He officially had a job under his belt in a weird way.

He wasn't sure he wanted to be an author full time; these were important to get out to the public. Perhaps a book on traditions that pureblood's like to hoard away and don't really give Muggle borns a chance to integrate properly. If they didn't then they really would only have themselves to blame.

He was pretty sure between his own books and those Orion had…he could make even an idiot understand wizarding traditions. It might alienate him further from the magical community though. A select circle, at the very least, luckily Tom had firm control over that lot, its safe to say the next generation were less controlled. Bellatrix and the Lestrange's were perfect examples of how uncontrolled they were.

He personally didn't care about how he was perceived, anything, absolutely anything was better than being placed upon a pedestal as a young child. To go from being loved to hated, forever watched and talked about in the newspapers.

Unfortunately, it was Hayden's fate to be loved and hated, the sort of power he had…the abilities were always going to give him a similar fate to what he'd already suffered.

Just like last time, he would have people at his back, to hold him when he needed it. This time though, they would have the power to give him the ultimate protection and ability to fight back. This time, he wasn't a child.

This time, it was Hayden's time to truly shine.

Well, not specifically right now unfortunately, no, Hayden was about to get dirty. He had work to do, and kept to a tight schedule, right now he was going to get another building entirely emptied while the plumbers did their job in the manor. The project was now just starting to tentatively take off.

Peverell Estate was about to outshine everything.

Because at long last Hayden Peverell now had a home to call his own…one that much like Grimmauld Place was in serious need of repair. It would make it even more special in Hayden's view.

A/N – I've always been rather iffy at jumping ahead in time. It always feels abrupt, especially too much in a single chapter. I did want to add the third courting gift from Orion in this chapter but realized it would house more time jumps which I don't want to do. I apologise for my absence the past week or so, had a sick pooch on my hands, results are okay so far…but I'll be keeping an eye on her just in case *fingers crossed!* if it's also a bit disjointed that's why too, it's been written in sections when I actually felt like writing the worry had me stuck, which is strange, usually when I'm worried I like to lose myself in writing. so will Hayden forgive Orion? Or will he make sure his point has flown home? Will Hayden reveal his future to Orion or will that be the one thing he never tells another soul? He told Tom in Lord Of Time…and Orion will never truly know Hayden unless he tells him it's a pretty big secret to keep from someone you profess to love. So, what do you think? Will Hayden tell Orion (and Tom?) or will it be a secret he takes to the grave? R&R please

And fellow writers...if you have any advice or suggestions on how to make the time jumps less abrupt I'm all ears :) I'd love to hear what you do and what you'd suggest :) even if you consider it constructive I've got thick skin xx