My Time

Chapter 54

"Excuse me?" Hayden asked icily, staring at Orion seething in fury. He could scarcely believe what Orion had just said. He really, really couldn't, he was the most hypocritical, utter bloody asshole he'd ever had the misfortune of meeting. Here he was trying his damn hardest to fit in here, to not embarrass Orion…or give him a reason to pull away and he was…he was trying Merlin damn him! It wasn't fair, he doesn't deserve this. He was doing everything he could, did Orion know how difficult it was not to touch him? To show he cared? Desiring the same reciprocation and not receiving it anyway?

Orion's gaze widened, for the first time in his life he adopted a look that everyone would have described as 'a deer in the headlights of a car'. Even then Hayden couldn't help but admire him, his smouldering grey eyes, he was mesmerising, and Hayden was totally smitten. Well, usually, right now he was very, very pissed off. Pissed off enough to shamefully wish he hadn't bloody met him. Naturally Hayden didn't mean it, but he was in this time with nobody he knew, missing his family – his chosen family – with only Orion knowing the full truth.

Orion had something in the back of his mind warning him to back down. To back off, but Orion had never backed down in his life, he wasn't about to begin now. It would begin a danger precedent that he did not wish to set. "We agreed to talk it out," he warned Hayden, they had decided to always talk it out instead of parting ways in anger.

Hayden blinked, staring dumbly at Orion, completely baffled for one little moment. Then it dawned on him, and he barked, "I'm not pissed because bloody fucking you mentioned it you bloody arsehole!" one level away from shouting. It took a lot to get Hayden really angry enough to shout. It had only happened the once in all the years of the fucked-up shit he'd had to put up with since he entered the magical world. His friends had been disloyal to him, choosing to listen to Dumbledore instead of what he was going through. They had felt bad, that much was true, and after they worked it all out, he'd known they wouldn't do it again.

Ron had wavered a little during the Horcrux hunt but he'd come back. He'd understandably been terrified; Hayden truly couldn't understand how he felt. He hadn't had a family, mother, father, brothers or sisters stuck in a focal point of a war. The people he'd cared most were with him – Ron and Hermione – he'd never had to have that fear following him all year.

Orion's jaw dropped, not at the magical spikes but at Hayden's vulgar language. Never in his life had anyone spoken to him that way, they'd never used such disgusting words. If anyone had dared to do so, they would have found themselves at the bottom of the ladder social wise. Even those at Hogwarts had never dared to say anything to his face. "If we are to continue this conversation, I'd rather do so without the vulgarity."

Hayden's nostrils flared as he seethed, struggling to keep his magic under control. "You stuck up poncy…smug…infuriating…overblown…egotistical…GAH!" Hayden had never been this pissed off before, nobody had the ability to infuriate him, not even his best friends ignoring him, not even Draco Malfoy. He knew even now as anger as he was that there were just some things that couldn't be taken back. Words said in anger couldn't be taken back.

Orion's eyebrows had rose as far as they could crawl across his forehead. "Did you just call me a ponce?" he was in no way pretentious!

"That's all you took from that?!" Hayden cried out, more exasperated than angry, amusement stirring in his breastbone. Merlin, help him, but he couldn't help but adore every aspect of Orion. Here they were arguing and he got all offended at being called a ponce.

Orion tried to gauge Hayden, to figure out what his best move would be. His magic had calmed considerably, and wasn't threatening to drown him in its intensity. However, Hayden's face didn't exactly give a clue on what he was thinking and feeling. "No?" he tried out.

Hayden's eyes glimmered, "Was that a question or an answer?" he mulishly spat, not quite ready to back down. Not when he remembered Orion's original question, which just raised his ire once more. Nothing had been resolved.

"Don't you dare take that tone with me!" Orion snapped, stepping away in disgust at being spat at. Not literally, of course, but it was a close thing.

"Right back at you!" Hayden proclaimed, glancing at the tent, genuinely contemplating leaving. Yet he couldn't, they'd promised each other to talk it through. To not go sleep mad at each other, if they couldn't do that now…it didn't bode well for their future would it? "You've got some nerve, don't you?" genuinely bitter that Orion wasn't realizing how difficult this was for him.

"Oh, turn it on me why don't you?!" Orion sniped, crossing his arms, his glare boring into Hayden's. "Come on then! Tell me what it is that I've done?!" waving his right arm up in the air before crossing it with his left again. Aware that he was likely a stomp away from looking like a petulant little child but unable to care at the moment.

"Are you kidding me right now? Do you have any idea how much I'm trying here, Orion?" Hayden cried out in frustration. The realization that Orion really didn't a sucker punch to the gut, a sick feeling suffusing him.

Orion scowled darkly, "Trying what?" this entire conversation had derailed completely.

"Orion…I've jumped back decades, this world…this time is so different from all I've ever known." Hayden hissed out, trying to get through to Orion. "Things were different where I came from, or perhaps it was because of how I was raised and my parents weren't there…I don't know I just…it's so difficult..." he missed everyone (except Ginny) so very much in that moment.

"That's why you've been avoiding me? Because it's difficult?" Orion asked doubtfully. He seriously doubted that was the reason for what was going on. Although, he felt the conversation had been twisted entirely, with nothing making sense whatsoever. Hayden's next words just confirmed it.

"What are you talking about…I've not been avoiding you," Hayden pointed out, "We've spent the entire day together."

"You're actively moving away from me," Orion clipped out in frustration, none of his training and meditation had remotely prepared him for this. None of his relationships – if he could call them that – had prepared him for this.

"You son of a bitch I was doing what you wanted me to!" Hayden snarled, it took everything in him not to advance on Orion and shove him as hard as he could. Hermione was the physically violent one of the three back in the day. "Because you can't stand to disappoint your father!" the hurt he still felt with how Orion pulled away like he had an incurable disease hurt so much.

Orion flinched at both the hurt and the condemnation. To make matters worse, it was true, by all rights, it did look like that's what he wanted. Recalling the incident as if it had just happened. He hadn't seen Hayden's reaction; he'd been staring ahead. However, if he imagined it, he reckoned it was similar to the one he was currently supporting. Guilt gripped him, souring his mood further.

"I spent ten years with people who belittled and disparaged me. Told me I was worthless, and that they'd taken me in out of the goodness of their hearts. Made sure to ostracise me entirely from the neighbours, with claims I was an incurable criminal." Hayden bit out, tears shimmering in his eyes, "People crossed the road to avoid me, treated me like I was nothing, commenting on my 'unemployed' parents, who had got what was coming to them. The only touches I received were ones of violence during my formative years."

Orion twitched, the urge to go to Hayden and comfort him was paramount. No child should be treated like that, he wished badly that he could make everything better. Yet he couldn't, even if they changed the future Hayden came from…it wouldn't change Hayden's memories. He would forever be haunted by the atrocious upbringing heaped upon him.

All they could do was give him a future that outweighed the bad memories he had to live with.

"I love you, Orion, but…not enough to live through this," Hayden said suddenly deflating, all the anger leaving him as if he'd just been struck with an epiphany. Shaking his head, devastated with the realisation thrumming through him. He loved Orion, but he couldn't live like this. It hurt so much, and it cost so much energy to stop himself from reaching out for that touch he needed like air. He had needs he could not ignore.

Orion froze, the seriousness of the conversation ceasing all feelings except fear. The prospect of losing Hayden was enough to render him petrified. "Don't, please," Orion said, just on the edge of begging, but not quite there. "I love you, I'd rather lose my fortune, to give up the Black name than lose you…I'd do anything to keep you in my life." it was so illogical, so utterly there that it should be scorned but Orion just didn't care. He couldn't care about anything other than Hayden.

Who need Amortentia when real love can wreak havoc on one's beliefs?

Hayden blinked rapidly, tears brimming in his eyes, his entire body seemed to soften. With a rapid jerk, he launched himself at Orion, and wrapped himself around his body. The tears continuing to fall, "You have no idea how much it hurt not to reach out every time I needed you."

Orion wrapped his own arms around Hayden, tight, strong and firm. Resolute in his love for Hayden, and determined that Hayden know it. He could feel the tears dropping from Hayden and onto his neck. The guilt intensified, but part of him, a small part believed that they needed this otherwise it would just steadily continue to get worse.

Hayden was rather explosive with his emotions whereas he was very reserved. Tightening his hold, determined to fix this. Somehow, he would fix it, it was the least he could do. "I'll speak to my father tonight, I promise." He vowed, this was his relationship, his and Hayden's, he couldn't let his father dictate their relationship. Not if it was going to cause him to lose Hayden. He couldn't bear that, he just couldn't.

"I missed you," Hayden murmured, relief sweeping through him at an astonishing rate. When he had heard Orion speak, he had been beyond infuriated. He'd thought for sure they would be going their separate ways for days, with nothing fixed. The desire to get away was so strong, his magic was very powerful, so much so that he honestly had felt for a moment uncontrolled. He had always been strong, magical wise, but now? It was far headier than he remembered it.

He'd always been more emotional than most, probably because he kept it in for far too long. "I missed you too." Hayden murmured, closing his eyes, and relishing in the contact, he'd missed it so much. The lack of contact made him feel unwanted, undesirable, tense, and had his breathing rate had been shot to hell. "Your touch…" Hayden said, fingers brushing against Orion's and interlinking their fingers together, "Calms me so much…far better than a calming draught. Being like this, makes me happy. You make me happy."

Orion mulled over that information as they remained standing as close as physically possible. Reeling over the revelation, could it honestly affect Hayden that way? The immediate answer was yes, because Orion could feel tension, he'd had following him since his father reprimanded him dissipate. He felt better than he had all day, and he felt happy, content. "You make me happy too." Orion confessed, and it wasn't as difficult as he'd once feared it would be.

They remained together for a few more minutes, before Hayden muttered, "As lovely as this is, it's getting uncomfortable standing in the same spot."

Orion chuckled before laughing, Hayden joined in, as their bodies eased away from each other. "Let's go home." He said, and with that Orion and Hayden still hand in hand, turned and headed out of the tent, enough was enough, they needed some peace and quiet. Reading more contracts was most assuredly not the way to go.

That and he needed to have a conversation with his father this evening. No doubt it would get ugly, but he couldn't let his father become between him and Hayden.

"Oh, no, I'm going to have to change the time and date on your uncles again," Hayden groaned, "They're bound to be pissed at this point." It was twice he had changed the date and time unexpectedly on them.

Orion apparated them both once they were out of the Peverell grounds, safe to get to their location. "Don't worry about my uncles, I'll send word with the House-elves, they won't notice, you've no idea what they're like, they spend all their free time in the nurseries taking care of every plant imaginable. My grandparents would be complaining if it wasn't such a profitable endeavour. The MacMillian coffers have never really been full like they are now."

Hayden blinked, oh, yeah, Orion did have two set of grandparents, that's how it went. One of them must have a child, at least, since there was a MacMillian at school if he recalled correctly. He asked as Orion and he walked along the path to the Black residence. "Why weren't they at Yule celebrations?" Yule was for family after all. Did they disapprove of the Black's perhaps?

"They come every second year, a quiet family Yule one year, and then visiting the Black Castle the next year." Orion explained, smiling fondly. "They might have had three children, but they don't do well with a crowd and we Black's are most definitely that." Opening the front door, pleased despite himself, to see that it was all quiet and his parents didn't seem to be in.

"Will they be where your Uncles are?" Hayden asked, "Are they living at home?" he wasn't judging them, not at all. They weren't married and it seemed most parents with money bought their children a home to live in upon their marriages.

"They live on the annex of the estate, close to the nurseries," Orion explained, as he closed the door, "They wouldn't get the area they need to grow things if they moved. They tried many times to get a property that matched what they sought. None of people were interested in selling off their parts of their estate, not even for more than its value. So, my grandmother had the annex built on the estate." She had them later on in life and was rather smitten with them despite the fact they should have families of their own, much to his grandfathers exasperation.

"Cool," Hayden murmured, causing Orion to roll his eyes at his words, "Still can't believe you called me a ponce."

Hayden laughed fully belly, not even remotely embarrassed by his words.

A/n – ugh seriously, I am not good at arguments, not sure why, but it just becomes bloody grim when I do. Naturally, most arguments don't end like that, they end with slamming doors and ignoring each other until they apologise lol but with the wedding so soon, I couldn't do that ha! Like seriously, with them both being so bloody stubborn they wouldn't give in any time soon but maybe later in their relationship I'll be able to get them to have arguments with slamming doors 😉 when they're more secure in their relationship. They're still in the honeymoon stage after all haha 😊 I had to delete this four times, the chapter just wouldn't be written and it just feels off. It's actually happened a few times with this story, which is rather alarming since the muses are quite strong for it. So, sadly I've deleted like 12K overall and here you are getting barely 3K but it's better than nothing I suppose! R&R