I DO NOT OWN DREAMING OF SUNSHINE OR NARUTO

I am merely making use of their characters, settings, and themes to tell a different story.

If anyone would like to use my own work as a base/inspiration for a fic, you are more than welcome to do so, just credit me in the beginning and maybe send me the link so that I can read it too, I'm always looking for more DOS recursive.

Well, I think that covers all of my bases, so with that out of the way, on to the fic!

Chapter 16: Gelel interlude pt.2

Shikako had never realized how 'other' and out of place she had felt until Gelel. Those moments of discomfort around supposed peers, the pressure to please and impress; what was the point of any of it? Every interaction, every relationship - she could now see that it was all just her way of unconsciously trying to fill the void that had formed in the absence of her other half. But she didn't need those people anymore; now that she had Gelel, she was finally whole.

And what a feeling it was, to be whole for the first time.

Now that she knew this feeling, she never wanted to be without it again.

Shikako held Gelel closer at the thought.

Faint, indistinct noises echoed throughout the plane - Shikako ignored them, intent on continuing to savor her completeness.

The echoes grew louder.

A shadow entered the plane, and Gelel turned their head towards it.

"You would fight a God? " They asked, their voice curious and light, entirely at odds with the determined and fierce tone that answered back.

"Yes," They snarled, causing a brief jolt of surprise to run through Shikako as she recognized Shikamaru's voice. "Give me back my Sister!"

And then he struck, lashing out with his shadow against Gelel. His efforts were ultimately pointless - detrimental really, given the chakra he was wasting.

Shikako frowned. She knew her brother, he would have realized that his shadows had no effect on Gelel after the first hit, so why hadn't he stopped? She stepped away from Gelel and towards her brother, sisterly instincts bidding her to check and see if he hadn't received a head injury at some point during the fight.

'Oh.'

Once again, Shikako's worldview shifted.

The moment she had lost contact with Gelel, her head cleared and she remembered the thoughts that had run through her mind a minute ago. Without their songs ringing so loudly within her head Shikako began to realize just how much her thought pattern had deviated from its standard course. Shikamaru had always been her priority, and Shikako loved her parents and her friends, so why…?

Gelel titled their head at the mounting panic they could feel her trying to suppress.

"Shikako! " Shikamaru pleaded.

She stood there, frozen as the two sides warred within her.

'Gelel is our other half '

'But so is Shikamaru. And what about mom and dad? What about Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, our friends and all our comrades - we can't just abandon them. '

'Shikamaru is our twin, Gelel is a part of our soul.'

'Shikamaru is human, and a shinobi at that. Gelel is a god. Only one of them faces any real risk of dying in the near future. '

And that…was true. Her choice had become clear, but that didn't make it any easier.

She turned to Gelel. Her emotions had likely made her decision obvious already but leaving without a word felt…wrong.

It was the matter of a few 'steps' for her to get close enough to Gelel to hug them one last time. She heard Shikamaru's pained voice call out from behind her, likely misinterpreting her actions. She would apologize later, for now though, she focused her attention on Gelel.

Repeating their own actions from earlier, Shikako pulled the god into her embrace with a heavy heart.

Gelel wasn't human - they never had been and that would never change. Their avatar - which she knew they had only adopted for her sake to begin with- only served to emphasize that. While Shikako's avatar had simply adopted the same appearance as her physical body, Gelel had no physical form - and it showed. Gelel's avatar was devoid of all features that might otherwise identify them as anything more specific than 'humanoid'. Frankly, they more closely resembled an iridescent mannequin than a human, but the consideration they showed had filled her with warmth once she'd realized it.

They had only just found each other, and they were already being separated. Honestly, all her leaving with Shikamaru got her was the chance to watch everyone around her slowly wither and die over the course of a few decades. Why bother suffering through that when she already knows how it'll end, she should just stay here-

Recognizing the unnatural train of her thoughts, Shikako untangles herself from Gelel and abruptly steps back, almost immediately noticing her thoughts becoming clearer as the pleasant fog that had once again begun to warp her thoughts retreated once more.

Not willing to risk a third test of her already faltering willpower by delaying any further, Shikako ignored the way her soul rebelled at the very idea of leaving and forced herself to speak.

"I can't leave them. Not yet. I'm sorry to make you wait, but…"

Her sentence trailed off, but rather than try and finish it or start over, Shikako let it hang between them, knowing that Gelel would understand what she refused to voice, and what she lacked the words to. Gelel was silent in response, but she could feel them accept her words - when Shikako was ready to join them, they would be waiting. There was nothing else left to say, so Shikako made her way to Shikamaru. She gave Gelel one last longing look, and then she -

-let-

-go.

Shikako thinks it's the hardest thing she'll ever do.

(She's right, but some things certainly come close.)

—

They reentered reality exactly where they'd left it. Shikamaru had already been cradling her previously limp body in his arms, but upon their return he holds her as tight and close as possible, paying no mind to the pool of her blood on the floor beneath them, sobbing and clutching at her in a manner that's almost suffocating, like he thinks that if he lets up for even a moment she'll disappear.

It's a valid concern. She's not so sure if she won't either. For a moment she even contemplates it, just calling out to Gelel and begging them to take her back, that she was wrong - they'd do it too, Shikako knows they would. But Shikamaru's bruising grip grounds her, and so instead she just cries. Shikako cries, and sobs, and wails while her brother cradles her in his arms. She pays no mind to their audience as she lets out her grief, she knows they won't judge her for it. So Shikako cries, and Shikamaru holds her, and Naruto and the Sand Siblings gather and herd anyone else out of the area to give them both a moment.

For a few minutes, Shikako allowed herself to feel the full weight of what she had done, and of what she had lost -no matter how temporarily- as a result.

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