God's Blessing on this Wonderful Dungeon

By Icura and Special FX

~o~

Chapter 1: The Far East

~o~

"There's no adventurer's guild here…"

Everyone in their group was sitting cross-legged on the floor of a private room. They had to settle for an inn for now, and while there weren't any beds, there were five futons provided for them to sleep on, and there was plenty of space in the room. The room itself was a traditional Japanese room with tatami mats and sliding doors. It didn't even come with its own toilet or bath.

There was an outhouse and a public bath for the entire inn just outside in the backyard. However, seeing as they were hungry, they opted for a meal first and were waiting for it to be brought up to their room.

Normally, all of this would have been difficult to pay for, but Kazuma had bartered some of his copper and silver Eris coins for some of the currency of this world earlier. As luck would have it, he even found a collector of odd things instead of just someone who wanted the coins for the metals. That had resulted in a bigger than expected payout, enough that it could cover them for at least a week, and that was also accounting for Aqua's annoying drinking habit.

Gathering information was the first and foremost priority, but that had been somewhat of a bust. There was no adventurer's guild here where he could easily gather information from, probably because of how small the village was. Back in Belzerg, adventurer guild branches were usually only in safe zones where the towns and villages weren't as likely to be decimated by monster attacks or bandit raids.

It was probably the same in this world.

"I can't believe we really got transported to another world…" Eris trailed off with a bit of a dazed look in her eyes. "Just what in the world was that red button?"

"If you don't know about it, how do you expect we will?" Kazuma asked. However, an idea suddenly popped up in his head. "Hey, can't you just use your powers as a goddess to bring us back?"

"I've tried," Eris replied with a shake of her head. "I can't even feel a connection with heaven anymore. It is all very strange."

"Pfft. Aren't you just too weak?" Aqua smugly pointed out. "If I had my divine powers, I could easily bring us all back."

Kazuma rolled his eyes in response.

"Hey! I'm serious, Kazuma!"

"Senpai may be right," Eris replied earnestly. "She was a goddess of a higher standing than me, so perhaps if she had her divine powers back…"

"Eeeeh? This useless goddess who isn't even a goddess anymore?" Kazuma asked as he pointed at Aqua with his thumb. "Are you sure about that, Eris?"

"Kazuuuuumaaaa!" Aqua cried out as she tried to tackle him.

Fortunately, his Auto-Evade skill activated and his body smoothly slid out of the way as Aqua sailed past him and crashed into the futons behind everyone.

"Waaaah! Kazuuuumaaaaa!" Aqua bawled as she flailed about on the futons.

Darkness walked over to her and began gently patting the blue-haired former goddess on the head.

"I believe restoring senpai's divinity may be our best option for returning to our world," Eris solemnly replied. "The only question now is: how?"

Kazuma allowed himself to fall backwards onto the futon next to Aqua. She had stopped flailing and was now using Darkness' lap as a lap pillow while staring at the ceiling. Eris' theory sounded good enough to him, but he couldn't help but think there was something more to that red button.

It seemed to require a god's divinity to activate, so it couldn't have been by chance that it was in that bag; someone wanted to send them here. Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if the requirement for getting back to Belzerg was something like killing this world's version of the demon king or something equally as troublesome. However, there was no communication or even a sign of any demands, leaving them without any proper direction to follow.

"Can't you just give her some of your divinity?"

Aqua immediately sat back up.

"If she could do that, I'd have taken it back ages ago!"

"Senpai would have certainly done that…"

"Well, there's no use just thinking about it," Kazuma stated. "We found the button in a dungeon, so maybe we'll find some clues if we go looking in the dungeons around here? I'll ask around about that tomorrow morning."

Megumin raised her hand. "I haven't done any explosions today."

"Hold it in."

~o~

The next morning…

"Oh ho, weren't you with those foreigners yesterday? They even gave you some of their strange clothes to wear. Can I touch them?"

"No! These clothes are mine, so keep your grubby hands off them."

"Just a little touch. Look! My hands are clean."

"Okay, maybe just a little. I got these when I was hired a while back to guide them around, but I'm not exactly from around here. So I'm in a bit of a bind since they kept saying they wanted to go dungeon diving. Maybe, we can help each other…" Kazuma, with a sneaky expression on his face, looked across the table at the man. He placed a coin on the table and slid it over. "Know any place around here where I could lead them to? And don't worry, the food and drinks are on me."

"Dungeon? Only Dungeon is in Orario, but if you mean a monster's cave, there are some 'round here. The village chief's got a bounty on a few of those."

"Oh? And where can I find these bounties?"

"There should be a board in front of the village chief's home."

"Thanks for the info," Kazuma replied as he began standing up while dropping a few more coins on the table. "There's a little extra in there, so feel free to get more drinks."

"Ah, those are just things everybody around here knows. Still, I'm not complaining," the man said happily, quickly placing his palm over the coins on the table and dragging it over to his side. "They must be paying you well, but you won't see me going after monsters without a Falna. Be careful out there, kid."

"A what now?"

"Falna. You know, the thing that gods give you for being a part of their Familia?" Seeing Kazuma's blank stare, the man quirked an eyebrow. "The Falna is what gives people the power to fight monsters… Don't tell me you've been hunting monsters all this time without knowing that?"

Kazuma sat back down.

"I wouldn't mind hearing more."

"And I wouldn't mind a few more drinks."

"I think I can spare some more coins."

~o~

"...and so essentially, there are many, many gods walking on this planet. Know anything about that, Eris?"

Back in their private room at the inn, Kazuma had relayed the information about the Falna and Familias.

"...why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Well, you are a goddess," Megumin pointed out.

"I was only the goddess of our world," Eris explained. "But I have never heard about a world with so many governing divinities. What about you, senpai?"

"As if those old fogies would allow that. Too inefficient." Aqua scoffed at the notion. "Too many gods with the same jurisdiction would fight each other over believers. The more believers you have, the more powerful you become. If you don't have any, you have to rely on those old fogies to keep you alive, but if you're a fallen goddess, then you'd just disappear. Poof."

"Wasn't your domain just Japan?" Kazuma questioned. "And I don't remember seeing any Aqua cults in Japan worshiping you."

"T-that's because there were just too many people on Earth, so they had to split it up between a bunch of us! You think Belzerg had as many people? As if!"

"Ah, I get it." Kazuma nodded in understanding. "So you were one of those goddesses on life support."

"Wah!" Aqua smacked the ground as if she was a Yakuza before jumping up to her feet and pointing dramatically at him with tears in the corner of her eyes. "I'm a head goddess! Don't put me on the same level as those losers!"

"In any case, we need to find out how to make these Falnas," Kazuma said, completely ignoring Aqua who was seething over being ignored. "It sounds like this world's version of the adventurer's card."

The languished expression on Megumin disappeared in an instant, and her face quickly became lively and excited.

"So I can level up my explosions?!"

"I don't know," Kazuma answered honestly. "We won't find out until we try it. Luckily, I heard there were a few gods and goddesses already in the village so maybe we can learn about it from them."

"Where? Where?!"

"There's a shrine managed by them on the north-side of the village, near the outskirts."

"What are we waiting for then? Let's go!"

~o~

Kazuma couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic as he stepped up the stone staircase of the Japanese-looking shrine. It wasn't as if he had been to a bunch of shrines back home–he was a shut-in after all–but he had still been to some once upon a time. The occasional shrine maidens he saw sweeping the stone tiles here had already made it way better than the ones he had been to back in Japan.

He had never really been into the shrine maiden thing; he had preferred maids like any true scholar did, but there was something about seeing a blonde-haired elf in a Miko outfit that caused him to rethink his tastes.

"The clothing of this world is really quite strange," Darkness pointed out. "I don't think Belzerg has anything like it."

"Hey Kazuma, Kazuma." Aqua tapped his shoulder. "Why does this place look so much like Japan?"

"You're only just asking this now?" Kazuma deadpanned. "What, the Sengoku era looking houses and the villagers' traditional Japanese clothing didn't do it for you?"

"What are you talking about, Kazuma? They could have those anywhere. Only Japan has shrine maidens though."

"…"

There were so many things wrong with that statement that he didn't even want to address it. Instead, he simply chalked it off as Aqua logic.

"Kazuma, over there by the trees." Eris pointed out with a nod of her head. "There's a goddess."

Kazuma turned his attention towards the direction that Eris had pointed to and saw a beautiful blue-haired woman sitting underneath the shade of a large oak tree. He could tell even from a distance that there was a divine-like aura emanating from her figure. She had a serene look on her face as she watched a group of children play with a worn ball.

"Pfft… Why are her clothes so raggedy?" Aqua snickered. "She must be the goddess of poverty."

"She looks more like a goddess than you do," Kazuma casually replied before he had to grab Aqua's hands to prevent her from pinching his cheeks. "Hey! Knock it off, you useless goddess!"

"Kazuuuumaaaa!"

"Allow me to go speak with her," Eris said before she began making her way over toward the other goddess. "I will be back in a moment."

"How amazing. To see two goddesses in person…" Darkness trailed off with awe evident in her voice.

"What are you talking about, Darkness? There was a goddess with you all the time!" Aqua cried out. "A head goddess at that!"

Kazuma decided to ignore his party and focus on trying to eavesdrop on Eris's conversation with the other blue-haired goddess using his Lip-Reading skill.

"Oh my, have you just descended recently then?" The blue-haired goddess asked. "Ah, but pardon my rudeness. My name is Tsukuyomi."

"Oh, please don't worry about it! My name is Eris," she replied with a smile on her face. "And yes, I have only recently arrived in this world."

"I see. It must have been quite the experience for you then," Tsukuyomi acknowledged with a smile of her own. "Things are a lot different down here compared to heaven after all."

"Yes, indeed. Although I have managed to find some kind mortals who want to join my Familia," Eris said as she pointed over toward him and the rest of the party. "I just don't know how to give them my Falna."

"Oh my! Did those fools up there not teach you before approving of your descent?" Tsukuyomi replied with a tsk. "That won't do at all. Come, bring one of your children over here, and I will show you how to grant them your Falna."

"Thank you very much!"

"Nonsense! It's the least I can do." Tsukuyomi waved to stop the other goddess from bowing. "I've had others help me out during my early days down here as well, so it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Eris waved her hands in his direction and motioned for him to come over.

"Hey, Darkness. Watch over these two and keep them out of trouble for a second. I'm going to see what Eris wants."

After hearing some brief words of acknowledgement from Darkness, Kazuma made his way over to the two goddesses by the tree. When he arrived, Tsukuyomi greeted him with a motherly smile which was nothing like the kind that the other blue-haired goddess he knew had. Despite the raggedy kimono she wore, Tsukuyomi emitted a presence that was much more aligned with what he expected out of a goddess. Even Eris couldn't really compare, though maybe that was because he also knew Eris as Chris, which made her seem more mortal than divine.

In any case, he actually did vaguely recognize the name, Tsukuyomi, from a video game as a summoned creature, but in his blurry recollection, he remembered Tsukuyomi being distinctly male.

"What is your name, child of Eris?"

"Ah, hello. I'm Satou Kazuma," he replied with a wave of his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Fufu, so polite," Tsukuyomi said as she brought a hand over her lips and giggled. "You've found a wonderful child, Eris."

Eris just smiled in response.

"Yes, Kazuma is quite special."

Kazuma couldn't help but blush a bit in embarrassment. He wasn't used to being complimented like that after all. Was his popular phase finally beginning? Eris was cute and Tsukuyomi did fit the motherly big sister type he liked.

"May I borrow your sword for a moment, Kazuma?" Tsukuyomi asked.

"Uh… Sure." He replied before he pulled out Chunchunmaru and handed it over to the blue-haired goddess. "Be careful, it's sharp."

Tsukuyomi grabbed the handle and brought it over to the front of her face, examining the blade.

"This is a fine blade. Does it have a name?"

"...Chunchunmaru," he muttered as softly as possible.

Tsukuyomi blinked at that before she started giggling in response.

"A fine name for a fine sword," she simply stated before turning the blade's handle toward the other goddess. "Eris, in order to grant your Falna to Kazuma, you must offer him your blood."

"E-eh!?" Eris jumped back in shock. "My blood?!"

"Ah, my apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you," Tsukuyomi replied. "You need only offer him a drop of your blood. Use your ichor to carve your emblem into his back."

Hey. Hey, hey wait a second here!

Carve an emblem into his back? Didn't that sound super painful!? Was it too late to back out now? Maybe Aqua could be the first test subject for this instead.

"Please relax, Kazuma," Tsukuyomi said, as if reading his mind. "It is not a painful process at all. Come Eris, draw your blood and let us begin. Kazuma, please remove your shirt and sit down."

Ah crap, it looked like it was too late to back out now. Well, whatever.

He didn't want to look like a coward in front of Lady Tsukuyomi anyway. He took off his cloak and pulled off his shirt before taking a seat in front of the two goddesses. Eris soon came behind him, and after a brief moment, he felt a cold sensation touch his back. It felt as if someone was running an ice cube on his skin.

"Yes, that's it. Your emblem is the symbol of your divinity and your connection to your child. Now, keep applying your ichor until the emblem is finished, Eris," Tsukuyomi gently guided. The process continued on for a few more minutes. "But wait just a moment before you place the finishing touches. A Falna between a goddess and her child is a sacred thing, so I will not watch any longer, lest I bear witness to your child's status."

"Thank you very much for your guidance, Tsukuyomi senpai!"

"As I said before, do not worry about it. Ah, but please use this to show your child his status once the Falna is ready. Simply place it onto his back and the words will write themselves onto this sheet of paper when you pour a little divine energy into it."

"A-alright. I'll try my best!"

After a little bit more drawing–or maybe writing–on his back, Kazuma felt a sheet of paper being pressed onto his back for a brief moment.

"Here you are, Kazuma," Eris happily said as she handed him the piece of paper. "It looks like everything worked."

Satou Kazuma

Level 1

Strength: I-0

Endurance: I-0

Dexterity: I-0

Agility: I-0

Magic: I-0

Magic:

Adventurer's Magic - Can learn magic spells of any class if certain conditions are met.

Skills:

Adventurer's Secrets - Can learn skills of any class if certain conditions are met.

Hero of Belzerg - Chance to deal a critical blow to boss type monsters based on Luck.

"What the hell happened to all my levels!?"

~o~

"...so basically, that's how the Falna works. Any questions?"

The rest of his party members plus Eris were all sitting cross-legged next to him in a circle, almost as if he was teaching a kindergarten class. Although, with how some of his party members acted on a daily basis, that comparison wasn't actually that far off the mark. If anything, on most days it felt more like a babysitting job than an adventuring one.

Megumin raised her hand.

"Will I still be able to level up Explosion?"

"Hey, were you not paying attention at all!?"

"This Falna differs greatly from our adventurer cards," Darkness said, vocalizing her thoughts on the matter. "It seems it will be more difficult to level up with this system."

"We're going to need it since our adventurer cards are pretty much useless now," Kazuma replied. "I don't know how dangerous that dungeon in 'Orario' is, but I'm pretty sure that it's one of the keys to getting home."

"How are you so sure about this, Kazuma?" Darkness questioned with skepticism evident on her face.

"My gamer's intuition."

"What?"

"...never mind. Just trust me, alright?"

"Another option is to simply have senpai level up," Eris suggested as she raised her hand. "Tsukuyomi senpai mentioned that as mortals level up their Falna, they start to gather more divinity within them."

"Huh!? Why should I have to be under a goddess that's below me in standing?" Aqua shook her head in disbelief before standing up in outrage. "No! I'm not letting Eris mark me with her emblem! Everyone should be marked with my Falna instead!"

"How the hell are you going to do that, you useless goddess!?" Kazuma shouted back in return. "Or did you already forget that the button you pressed sucked you dry!"

Aqua looked stunned for a moment before she slowly sat back down. This idiot goddess… had she really forgotten already!? Even though she was the one who had gotten them all into this mess in the first place!?

"...I have to become the child of a goddess below me in standing," Aqua darkly muttered to herself as she rocked back and forth in despair. "The only way to get my divinity back is to be under Eris…"

"T-this is only a temporary thing, senpai!" Eris attempted to cheer up her senior. "Senpai will always be my senpai! No matter what!"

"Kazuma." Megumin pulled at his sleeve. "What about my daily explosion? I already held back for you yesterday, Kazuma. Don't keep pushing your luck. Even for you, I won't be able to last another day. I need to let one go now!"

Oi, what the hell was this?

Were her explosions some kind of turd that needed to come out or something? Couldn't she see the situation that they were in!? Ah, this was completely hopeless. Even in a different world that was more akin to a true fantasy world, there was no shot of him having a real isekai adventure.

Not when he had to babysit these three idiots!

"Ah… Fine." He sighed in resignation at his fate. "We might as well test out our Falna and figure out how experience gains work here. How about we go visit a monster cave, and you can blow it up?"

"Oho? That sounds like a great idea, Kazuma!" Megumin happily replied. "This is why you're my explosion comrade-in-arms. Only you understand me!"

That was not a title that he wanted…

"Alright, alright." Kazuma clapped his hands together, getting everyone's attention. "Let's have Eris mark everyone with her Falna, and then we'll head out to a monster cave to test it out."

"Yes! This world shall know the power of the lone Crimson Demon and her explosions!"

"That sounds good to me. Ah… I wonder if this world will have male orcs?!"

"I have to be under Eris… A senior goddess under a junior…"

"S-senpai! It's only temporary! Please don't look so down."

Ah.

It really was hopeless for him to hope for a real isekai adventure, wasn't it?

~o~

Getting the quest was a simple matter.

All he had to do was head to the village head's house, but after selecting one, the other villagers were practically trying to toss every other bounty on the board onto him. It was as if he were a repairman who came to an apartment to replace a sink, but was then asked by the residents to fix everything else in the building that had broken down as well. Luckily, in the end, he had managed to talk them down to just one quest instead.

"So these Oni live in caves dug out of the mountain, right? The mountain might get destroyed during the battle."

"I don't mind! As long as you get rid of them, it doesn't matter. So many generations of my people have gone missing because of them!"

"Alright, just don't forget you said that."

The main reason Kazuma chose this quest was that it was in a place that they could blow up with an explosion. Sure, the other quest to get rid of a Kappa colony in the river was probably easier, but blowing up a river would ruin everything downstream. This way, they could knock out a few birds with one stone. They could finish the quest and receive their pay while testing out their new Falna and allowing Megumin to let loose one of her daily explosions.

No matter how he thought about it, it was a win all around.

It didn't take long for them to find the Oni base with the help of the village chief's drawing of the area. He saw a single Oni standing guard in front of a large and ominous looking cave. It was so dark in the cave that he couldn't see that much further inside, but there were plenty of bones around littering the ground like trash. It was too dark to tell how old or recent those bones were, but it was like they were keeping them as decoration or something.

It was a little scary if he was being honest.

The Oni itself was red in color, tall and muscular in a way that was beyond the scope of human physiology. Two horns were sticking out of its skull and two tusks prodded out of its mouth, keeping it slightly open where the smaller and sharper teeth were somewhat visible. A single loincloth–made out of a tiger's pelt–barely covered that area, though it was both raggedy and stained. The monster was wielding a large rectangular iron club in its hand with rounded spikes over its length in such a menacing way that its cruel nature was leaking through. In essence, it looked like the Eastern version of an orc.

Unfortunately, it was obviously male.

"Don't—!"

Before Kazuma could finish, Darkness leaped out of the hiding spot with her sword already brought to bear. She would look the very image of a gallant charging knight if it weren't for the reddened cheeks and the trail of drool hanging from her upturned mouth.

This hopeless woman…

"Megumin, start casting and aim into the cave! Bring the whole mountain down on them!" While Megumin nodded her head and got started on that, Kazuma looked to his other companions. "Aqua, you're with me. We have to bring that idiot back before she gets herself killed!"

"What should I do, Kazuma?" Eris asked eagerly.

"...start praying for us."

"Oh… Okay…"

~o~

In the end, they had killed a few of the Oni's while the rest were buried under the former mountain. Luckily, having taken part in so many of Megumin's daily explosion spectacles, he knew the right timing of when to pull back. That saved them the trouble of having to get healed by Aqua and possibly being trapped under a mountain of rubble.

"...so why did I barely get any experience points?"

Kazuma held up the status page that Eris had given him and stared at it with a puzzled expression on his face.

Satou Kazuma

Level 1

Strength: I-0 - I-3

Endurance: I-0 - I-0

Dexterity: I-0 - I-7

Agility: I-0 - I-10

Magic: I-0 - I-5

No matter how he looked at it, this seemed wrong. Sure, Megumin had done most of the work, but he had still killed a few Oni. If this were his adventurer card, he would have at least leveled up once. With this Falna system though, he barely gained anything at all!

Was this some kind of Korean style mmo world where he needed to endlessly grind for levels?!

"Hey, Eris." He glanced over towards the goddess in question who was currently working on updating Megumin's Falna. "Are you sure you didn't do anything wrong? I barely got any experience points."

"Pfft. That's to be expected of a junior goddess." Aqua snickered. It seemed that she had already forgotten that Eris was now her governing goddess. "You can't expect so much from newbies, Kazuma. Don't you know how many times I had to clean up Eris' mistakes back in heaven?"

"Uwaaaaa… Senpai, stop!" Eris cried out as her face flushed red in embarrassment. Big boss was really cute when she was flustered. "That's just how the Falna works, Kazuma. Tsukuyomi senpai mentioned that the amount of Execlia someone gained was based on how difficult their battle was."

"…"

Hey wait, wasn't that a really big deal?

What kind of masochist system was this? Did Darkness invent this system? Wouldn't that mean he would have to fight more and more dangerous enemies in order to level up? And with how Eris had worded that, wouldn't that mean his cheese strategies would net him less experience overall compared to fighting something head on?

What kind of bullshit was that!?

Why was he being punished for being smart? Did he look like some kind of isekai protagonist to anyone? Where was his cheat ability, huh!? Wasn't this the second time he got isekai'd into a different world without a cheat ability of any kind!?

"Ahhhhhhh!" Kazuma screamed as he grabbed his hair.

"K-Kazuma?!" Darkness stuttered in sudden concern. "What happened?"

Kazuma glanced over at Darkness with narrowed eyes.

"Hey, Darkness. Let me see your status."

"Huh…? Sure," she replied before handing over her status sheet.

Dustiness Ford Lalatina

Level 1

Strength: I-0 - I-0

Endurance: I-0 - I-20

Dexterity: I-0 - I-0

Agility: I-0 - I-0

Magic: I-0 - I-0

Magic:

None

Skills:

Decoy - Attracts the attention of monsters.

Crusader's Resistance - Enhanced resistance against physical and magic attacks. Enhanced resistance against all status ailments.

Oi…

Why did this hopeless woman only gain endurance points? Weren't her stat gains even worse than his? Although, her endurance went up a lot more than any of his individual stats did. Was it because she didn't kill anything and only took hits from those monsters? Well, it wasn't like it really mattered.

Darkness never could hit anything anyway, so her having other stats beside endurance was pointless in the first place.

"O-ohhhhh!" Darkness blushed. "Those eyes… Why are you looking at me with such disappointment in your eyes, Kazuma? You always know how to get me going!"

While Kazuma scooted a little further away from her and closer to Aqua, Megumin simply stared at all of them from her spot lying on the ground.

"...scumzuma."

~o~

Authors' Notes:

Icura: Thanks for reading!

SFX: Yep, hope you all enjoyed it!