God's Blessing on this Wonderful Dungeon
By Icura and Special FX
~o~
Chapter 9: Relations
~o~
Kazuma had a bit of a pep in his step as he walked down the familiar street to Tsubaki's workshop. Someone from the Hephaestus Familia had informed them that everyone's new custom-made gear was ready to be picked up, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to check out what she had made. Getting new gear was one of the core principles of fantasy adventures alongside leveling up and questing after all.
"Kazuma, Kazuma, when are we doing my explosion?" Megumin asked as she walked alongside him. "We're not going to the dungeon today, right?"
Kazuma gave one of the sources of his many problems an annoyed look.
They didn't always go dungeon diving every day so they had been taking turns escorting Megumin outside the city and dragging her back home on their days off. Unfortunately, since Darkness had already taken her out yesterday, it was back to his turn. Maybe he could pay someone else to do it instead?
After all, Megumin didn't have her reputation here as the 'psycho explosion girl' like she did back in Axel. Someone was bound to take up the job if he posted it, right?
"...I'll take you out outside the city once we pick up our new gear."
"Okay."
It was still early in the morning so Aqua hadn't woken up yet. Darkness and Eris were off doing their own thing, so that just left him and Megumin to pick up everyone's new equipment. He wasn't sure what everyone else had ordered since they all stopped by Tsubaki's place during their own time, but he hoped that it wasn't something dumb. Darkness was probably safe, since she liked armor, but Megumin and Aqua…
They better not have spent more than their stipend either. He didn't want to go back into debt again so soon.
Kazuma pushed open the wooden door to Tsubaki's workshop and was immediately greeted with a wave of intense heat. All of the furnaces were on as usual, and that made the place feel like a sauna. He greeted the person manning the register before making his way to the back room where Tsubaki had her workshop. Luckily, the door was already propped open by the time he made it there.
In the center of the room, eyeing a piece of metal stood Tsubaki with a curious glint in her eyes.
"Yo," Kazuma greeted with a raise of his hand.
"Morning," Megumin greeted as well.
"Oh, you're both here," Tsubaki replied with a wide grin as she put down the piece of metal in her hands. "Your equipment's ready, just as promised. Follow me."
Kazuma's eyes gleamed with excitement as he followed after the master blacksmith with Megumin. Tsubaki led them to a corner of the forge, where a set of beautifully crafted wooden boxes lay atop a workbench. The boxes were beautifully carved with intricate patterns, hinting at the level of artistry that lay within.
"The first one's yours Kazuma, and the third one's Megumin's," Tsubaki said as she crossed her arms over her chest expectantly. "Let me know if it meets your expectations."
With slightly trembling hands, Kazuma carefully lifted the lid of the box. Nestled inside within layers of soft cloth was a set of armor and weapons that took his breath away. The brownish armor was lightweight yet sturdy, crafted from leather and some kind of fancy metal that shimmered with a faint blue hue. The sword, still within its sheath, laid next to a bow that looked to be made of some kind of wood and metal.
Even a novice blacksmith like him could see the skill that it required to craft his new equipment. The blacksmiths back in Axel couldn't even begin to compare, though to be fair, that was a rookie town.
"...wow," Kazuma said with awe evident in his voice. "They look great!"
Tsubaki's face lit up with pride.
"Well, of course they do!" She laughed. "I told you that I'm the best damn smith in this city. Once you start heading deeper into the dungeon, bring me back some of the rare monster drops. I'll craft you something even better!"
"Right, will do." This was it! She was essentially giving out an unending RPG standard quest to get new gear. Sure, he could probably just buy the material off the market, but there was a certain adventurer's romance to getting it himself. Still, that was in the future. The gear that he had now looked pretty good.
Even Megumin seemed impressed as she stared at the new red cloak in her hands with stars in her eyes.
"I shall name it the Crimson Hellfire Mantle!" Megumin excitedly declared as she threw the cloak over her shoulder and struck a pose. "A fitting cloak for a Crimson Demon and the master of explosions, Megumin!"
Kazuma gave her a look. Cringe.
"Haha, that's a great name! Fitting for something that I made," Tsubaki replied with a laugh. "I like you, Megumin."
"Oho?" Megumin's eyes lit up once again. "To be able to appreciate the Crimson Demon style, you are someone impressive as well, Tsubaki."
'Oi. There's no way you actually think that's a good name, right, Tsubaki? Surely, your naming sense can't be that bad, right?'
"Kazuma! Let's go so I can unleash my explosion upon the world!" Megumin excitedly said. "With the Crimson Hellfire Mantle by my side, I'm sure to get a good score from you today!"
"Explosion?" Tsubaki asked with a tilt of her head.
"The most powerful magic in the world!"
"So that must be one of your spells then?"
"Yes! Explosion is my life, so I need to practice it every day. I'll die if I don't."
"Ah, I see. Yeah, that makes sense, I feel the same way about smithing," Tsubaki replied with an understanding nod of her head. "It's good to have something that you're passionate about."
"Right?" Megumin knowingly nodded as well. "I'm glad you understand, Tsubaki."
"Please don't encourage her," Kazuma dryly replied. "I have enough trouble to deal with already on a daily basis."
"Haha, you should name your new weapons as well, Kazuma," Tsubaki pointed out with a chuckle. "Names have power after all."
"Hmm…" Kazuma put a finger under his chin in thought. "That's true."
What should he name his new sword? Kogarasumaru? Muramasa? And what about his new bow?
Decisions, decisions…
"Chunchunmaru the Second and Kerokeroyumi."
"No! And you couldn't even come up with a new name?! You just threw on 'the Second' with the same goofy name as before!" Bird chirping sword again and frog croaking bow? There was no way Kazuma could allow those to stick!
"Hahaha! You guys are funny. Oh, by the way, before you leave, try on the armor," Tsubaki replied with a laugh. "Need to make sure if any last minute adjustments are needed for a proper fit."
~o~
Kazuma stepped out of Tsubaki's store wearing his new equipment feeling like a new man. The only issue was that those names did actually stick. Even though Megumin didn't use it often, her high intelligence stat wasn't just for show.
The armor was a bit heavier than what he was used to, but now that he couldn't rely on Aqua to resurrect him, it was a price he was willing to pay. Most of the weight came from the metal pieces protecting his shoulders and hands, but it wasn't enough to slow him down in combat, which was what mattered. The rest of it was just some enchanted cloth with some leather woven in, which helped keep the weight manageable. The final piece was a red salamander cloak that he had draped over his shoulders, covering most of his body.
His new sword rested by his side, firmly fastened to a new belt while his new bow laid in a box filled with his old equipment. He had the box lazily slung over his shoulder with a piece of rope, carrying it like a backpack as he walked down the streets of Orario. Megumin stepped in stride next to him with a cheerful expression on her face, her new cloak glistening in the sunlight all the while.
Kazuma couldn't help but feel like the protagonist of an isekai novel with his new equipment. Tsubaki had really done a good job. Perhaps this really would be the true isekai experience that he had been hoping for.
"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Megumin excitedly called out. "Look, we match!"
She ran in front of him and spun around in a twirl, letting her new cloak flap in the wind.
"We need to strike a pose," Megumin continued, her eyes completely serious. "Let's stand back to back with our hands over our faces while saying something cool."
Kazuma gave her an unimpressed look.
"...didn't you want to blow something up?"
"Oh, right," Megumin said as she pounded her fist onto her palm. "I got so excited over our new stuff that I forgot. Thanks for reminding me, Kazuma! That's why you're my one and only explosion partner!"
That wasn't a title that he particularly wanted…
"Yeah, yeah," he replied with a sigh. "Let's head outside the city then."
Rather than head down the street back toward their home, he took a different turn and walked down the direction of the city gates instead. They had spent most of the morning at Tsubaki's place, so the midday sun was fully out now, shining brightly overhead. As he continued to walk down one of the main streets of Orario, he spotted a familiar red-headed justice lover speaking with a merchant directly down the street from him.
Kazuma then promptly did a one-eighty, turning around to face the other way. The last thing that he wanted was to get involved with that justice obsessed woman again.
"Huh? Kazuma, the gate's this way!" Megumin called out to him from behind him. "Where are you going?"
Damn it, Megumin! Keep quiet before–
"Kazuma!?" An all too familiar voice was yelling out. "Hey, Kazuma!"
…Alise noticed them.
With an immense amount of effort, he forced a smile on his face and slowly turned around. The red-haired woman approached him from down the street.
"Hey, Alise…" Kazuma begrudgingly replied. "Fancy seeing you here."
Not. Why the hell did he keep running into this crazy woman? This city was huge for god's sake. Was this divine punishment for lying about the pantry incident?
"I almost didn't recognize you in the new get-up," Alise pointed out as she walked over toward him with a beaming smile. "Wow, is that Haphetaeus' stuff too?
"...yeah, you could say that. Tsubaki gave us a discount for healing her injury."
"Oh right, I heard about that," Alise said with a knowing nod. "That's one talented healer you guys got over there."
"Yeah… Well, it was nice seeing you again, but I really need to get going," he lied, completely and utterly. "Megumin needs to go blow some–mpgh!?"
"Blow…away some leaves! Yeah, that's right, haha!" Megumin nervously laughed as she covered Kazuma's mouth with her hand. "Those leaves sure have been falling everywhere around our house!"
Ah. Right.
Megumin was the one who blew up the crystal in the pantry after all. Of course, she would be nervous about being around Alise who was essentially a volunteer police officer. Wait, why the hell was he always the one who had to deal with her then!? Megumin was the one who blew up the stupid thing, so she should be the one that had to deal with little miss justice over here!
"Hmm…?" Alise tilted her head in confusion. "Leaves?"
"Y-yeah! They've been making a real mess out of things!" Megumin quickly replied. "In fact, I should get going and clean them up! Like, right now!"
"Wait a–"
Before he could even get two words out, Megumin ran away. Kazuma and Alise simply stared until the diminutive mage turned the corner, disappearing from their sight. They glanced at each other, unsure of what to say. Eventually, it was Alise who broke the silence.
"...does that mean you need to leave too?"
"No…"
Kazuma made sure to keep his face as stoic as possible, but inside his mind, he was sweating.
Not only did Megumin make an excuse and leave, but she actually left him behind. Was it so hard to grab his hand and pull him along? Now, because of her, he was stuck here. If he tried to leave now, it would look suspicious. In fact, if he were to try to excuse himself, he could even imagine Alise asking him why he didn't just leave with Megumin earlier, and he didn't have a plausible answer for that.
It was made worse by the fact that this wasn't the first time that they had run into each other. He had gone on a patrol with her the first time, but in each of the succeeding times, he had made excuses and left right away. Quite frankly, he had already probably pushed past the excusable limit. That was made worse by the fact that Alise looked surprised at his current answer.
"Well, since you aren't busy, want to come along on my patrol? I have so many things I want to talk to you about!"
"Sure…"
"Also, your armor looks nice. Lots of belts and straps! You actually look like a real adventurer now!"
"...what did I look like before?" Kazuma hesitantly asked, knowing that he probably wasn't going to like the answer.
"A farmer."
"..."
Indeed, it was something that he was better off not knowing.
~o~
"...and the best way to be a captain is to make sure not to nitpick too often. Everyone has their own individual…"
As Kazuma walked beside Alise, he mostly drowned out her lecture. It wasn't even a conversation; it was simply a monologue of anything and everything that she could think of that could be useful to a new captain of a Familia. The problem was that it was absolutely and utterly boring.
It was almost like being back in Rose's classroom again, except that there wasn't a comfy chair where he could almost fall asleep in. Instead, they were walking outside, which made it impossible to even close his eyes. Well, not exactly impossible, but he would rather not fall flat on his face while attempting to sleepwalk.
The patrol route that they were walking on took them through the city, but honestly, it was more like a sightseeing trip.
If he had a guide who was willing to explain every notable location, that would be great, but all he had was a justice-obsessed chatterbox who was now on the topic of how a Familia captain could get the most out of their party members. None of the information she was giving him even applied to his party. Did she really think some of those standard leadership tactics would work with the group of idiots he had to manage on a daily basis?
Ways to motivate your party members?
Oh, they were plenty motivated already. Just for all the wrong reasons! How the hell was he supposed to motivate an explosion-obsessed mage, a masochist knight, and a useless goddess with all that advice that only applied to sane individuals!?
He doubted anyone in the entire world–no, both worlds–would be able to do what he did on a daily basis! Just ask Dust about having to manage these 3 idiots! He was practically begging him to swap the parties back after only a day! One day! He deserved a Nobel Prize for keeping those 3 idiots in check every day.
Honestly though, when Alise had said that she was going to take him in as her junior, he didn't really think she was being serious about it.
In hindsight, that was a foolish thought because it turned out that she was the type of person to always give her best effort no matter what the task was. She was the complete antithesis of someone like himself who just wanted to cruise through life using as minimal effort as possible. It wasn't like he particularly disliked her or anything–she was pretty cute and had a nice figure–but she was basically a cop, and he didn't want to go to jail again. The worst part of it all was that she thought he was the same as her, and he couldn't deny it either, otherwise he would risk exposing himself as one of the perpetrators behind the pantry incident…
Ahhhhhhhhhh, damn it! Why'd you have to blow up that stupid crystal, Megumin!?
"...and that's also how you can find the best quests," Alise said, turning her head to glance at him. "Any questions?"
"Nope," Kazuma said clearly and firmly, showing absolutely no sign that he hadn't been listening for the most part.
"So, since I covered most of the leadership stuff, now we can get to the fun part! How are you with that sword?"
Kazuma glanced down at the sword attached to his side and shrugged.
"I'm alright. I usually leave all the close quarter combat to Darkness."
"That's no good, Kazuma," Alise replied with a shake of her head. "With a small group like yours, it's really easy to get overrun by monsters and forced into fighting in a melee. You can't just rely on your bow all the time."
"Mm," he lackadaisically hummed in response.
Kazuma couldn't deny that she had a point.
How many times had he died in the past because he got surrounded by a bunch of mobs? It wasn't like he could rely on his [Auto-Evade] skill to always trigger; even he wasn't always that lucky. If they were back in Belzerg, he wouldn't have cared since Aqua could always revive him, but that wasn't the case anymore.
Death was permanent in this world.
He never bothered learning beyond the basic swordsmanship skill, and it wasn't like he had anyone who could teach him more advanced swordsmanship in this world either. The only melee fighter he knew was Darkness, and she could only hit the broadside of a barn half the time so that was hopeless. Perhaps if he was back in Belzerg, he could have asked Iris to teach him some sword skills, but she wasn't here.
Kazuma glanced over at the red-haired girl walking alongside him.
He really didn't want to get any further involved with this girl if he could help it, but it didn't seem like she was going to take a hint any time soon either. He had done a fair bit of research on the various Familias in the city so he knew that Alise and Astraea Familia were one of the rising stars in the city. She was someone who used the same type of weapon as him as well, and despite how much she liked to boast about herself, she was definitely someone who had enough skill to back it up. At least, based on her reputation, anyway.
Alise noticed him staring and curiously tilted her head at him.
"Hmm? What's up, Kazuma?"
Did he want to get further involved with her? No, he didn't. Especially since at this point, they could probably pin him for tampering with evidence and interfering with an investigation on top of his involvement in blowing up the pantry floor.
Yeah, that would definitely go over well in court. Not.
But could he really afford to let a chance like this go? Just like with his new equipment, he needed to take adventuring more seriously in this world. There were no more second chances after all. Perhaps he was just digging himself a bigger grave at this point, but screw it. It was only a problem if she ever found out the truth.
He wasn't the type of person to lose in a gamble anyway; his luck was far too good for that, right?
"Can you teach me swordsmanship, Alise-senpai?"
Unsurprisingly, the girl's face lit up in response.
"Of course!" Alise happily replied as she threw an arm around his shoulder and grinned. "Just leave it all to your amazing senior, the great and beautiful Alise Lovell! I'll turn you into an expert swordsman like me in no time!"
He really hoped he knew what he was getting himself into.
~o~
As it turned out, he in fact did not know what he was getting himself into.
Satou Kazuma
Level 1
Strength: F-316 - F-328
Endurance: H-175 - H-197
Dexterity: D-501 - D-522
Agility: F-367 - F-375
Magic: C-607 - C-617
Magic:
Adventurer's Magic - Can learn magic spells of any class if certain conditions are met.
Skills:
Adventurer's Secrets - Can learn skills of any class if certain conditions are met.
Hero of Belzerg - Chance to deal a critical blow to boss type monsters based on Luck.
"I'm sorry, Kazuma, but I don't feel anything different," Eris said apologetically as she pressed her fingers against the Falna on his back. "Under Adventurer's Secrets, I can still feel your learned skills like [Lurk] and [Bind], but I don't think that anything has changed with [One-handed Sword], and there doesn't seem to be any new skill at all."
Sitting on the stool, Kazuma's shoulders slightly sagged as the memory of the tortuous training flashed through his mind.
Alise had been so excited about the prospect of teaching him that, immediately after their patrol ended, she had taken him to a spot on the giant wall that surrounded Orario. Surprisingly enough, unlike with the gates and the city itself, the walls and their interior were almost entirely deserted, enough that there were layers of dust coating everything. The only reason that there weren't any squatters was because the doors were locked.
Why not just break down the doors? They were doors that were solid enough, being almost entirely metal, but they wouldn't hold against a strong enough adventurer. Then again, if someone was strong enough to break them apart, they would probably already be earning more than enough to stay at an inn.
Unless they were criminals in hiding or something like that.
The training session itself could probably be considered a torture session. Alise had gone over the basics, but once she saw that he was already decent enough with a sword, they pretty much went into full on sparring. By the end of it, his muscles were aching and his bones were creaking, and he had barely gotten anything out of it all. Like the rest of this leveling system, it seemed like this aspect of powering up would be a lot harder as well.
If his adventurer card was still working, then it would have been a simple matter to just pop some points into the [One-Handed Sword] skill. Sure, anything beyond basic skills and magic would have cost a ton, but it was at least a lot clearer than the vagueness of the Falna.
In any case, Kazuma still planned to take up Alise's offer and improve his swordplay no matter how much of a pain in the ass it was.
It was simply a decision based on self-preservation. Did he want to just flake and never do that again? Of course, but he didn't want to die either so he had to become stronger. That was all there was to it. Her offer of free swordsmanship lessons was too good of an offer not to grind out, even if it might not manifest into an actual skill. It would essentially be just training things up the old fashioned way.
"It's done."
"Thanks, Eris."
After Eris finished locking his Falna, Kazuma pulled down his shirt and stood up from the stool. The moment that he did so, as if predicting that he had finished, the door to the underground room slammed open with Megumin standing expectantly in the doorway.
"Kazuma, let's go do our daily explosion!"
"Our? Who was the one who left me alone with Alise?!"
"It turned out fine, didn't it? If I didn't leave, there was a chance she would have found out what I did and put me in jail," Megumin retorted. "That would be more troublesome for you, wouldn't it?"
"..."
Kazuma honestly couldn't argue with that logic.
Giving a belated nod, Megumin grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room. He allowed himself to be pulled up the stairs by the impatient Crimson Demon and into the church proper. Megumin and Kazuma sped through to the front entrance and shoved the doors open, only to stop in place.
Standing in front of them with her hand raised to knock on the door was Riveria–the tall, green-haired elf of Loki Familia–who had an expression of surprise on her face. Next to her, holding her hand, was Ais with a conflicted look on hers.
After a few moments of staring, Kazuma finally broke the silence.
"...what are you guys doing here?"
"We're here for the sleepover," Riveria said after regaining her composure.
"...there was no date set for that."
"I like to be prompt in completing my tasks so I sent a missive in advance," the elf stated. "Did you not receive it?"
That shut Kazuma up right away.
The reason for that was because they had been tossing every letter they received into a pile, forking the task of reading them off to one another. That was because there were too many follow-up letters asking them if they thought more about their offers or to reconsider the previous rejection. Besides that, it wasn't like any of them remembered what the Loki Familia's seal looked like, and he wasn't even sure anymore who was currently in charge of reading.
Not that he actually expected them to follow through with the sleepover. Honestly, that had been more of a joke than anything else because he had run out of ideas for requests at the time. Sure, he would have liked nothing more than to have a little sister wake him up in the morning, but he also didn't want Aqua to give him any more troublesome nicknames like "Loli-NEET."
After all, his reputation actually wasn't trash here compared to Axel, and he definitely did not want Aqua to ruin it. At least, not until he had a chance to abuse it.
Though, with how Megumin was looking at him like he was pond scum, his reputation here might not last very long either. It wasn't his fault! How was he supposed to know that they were going to take it so seriously!?
"...Scumzuma," Megumin simply stated.
Standing here, stunned into wordless silence, Kazuma could feel numerous hostile gazes from many different directions other than Megumin's. Looking past his two guests, he spotted people on rooftops or in the streets, staring at him as if he was an insect. Moreover, all of them had long, pointed ears, so they were obviously all elves. Still, even for bodyguards, wasn't this a bit much?
He had to even shut off [Enemy Detection] due to all the pinging that it was doing!
"Can you do something about your bodyguards? They look like they all want to kill me."
"I apologize, but please bear with it."
"Even if you say that…"
"If I tell them not to, they'll simply do something even more ridiculous and bothersome," Riveria said with a sigh. "It's not something I can change."
When Kazuma looked over again, he saw some of them had pulled out their weapons and were using sharpening stones on the blades. The creepy thing was, they never once took their eyes off of him, not even to make sure that they were sharpening their blades correctly.
Oh, the blue-haired elf on the rooftop messed up with the sharpening. That blade was going to need repairs. Not only that, but she dropped her stone and was now scrambling to get down from the roof to retrieve it.
"...well, come on in then."
~o~
A few minutes earlier…
"Riveria, the path to the Eris Familia's church is now safe."
"...please refrain from doing any more unnecessary tasks."
Riveria had to hold back from the urge to rub her temple, though that was made easier by the fact that she was holding Ais' hand. Yes, she understood that she was royalty and was the pride of all elves, but this had always been excessive in her honest opinion. It wasn't as if she couldn't take care of herself; she was one of the most powerful mages in the city.
"...hurry up," Ais mumbled, a frown etched onto her face. "...waste of time."
"It is your own fault for indulging in gambling," Riveria simply replied. "What did he even have to offer that made you want to challenge him so many times?"
"...teleport into the dungeon."
"Ais…" Riveria sighed. "How many times have I told you that you're not allowed in the dungeon by yourself?"
"I need to get stronger," the young girl firmly stated, a simmering darkness in her eyes. "It's not enough."
This girl… She was going to be the death of her one day. Honestly, why did Finn and the rest of them think that it was a good idea for her to be Ais's guardian again? She might have been the only woman among their trio of executives, but it was not as if she had any children of her own. And just what exactly did Loki mean by a 'mother's touch'?
She wasn't even married yet!
Shaking the troublesome thoughts out of her head, Riveria dragged Ais along as they made their way down the street to the Eris Familia's home. However, when they finally came within sight of the old abandoned church, Riveria couldn't help but stop in place. Her jaw dropped as she tilted her head back to get a good look at the sight. Rather than a decrepit church, what was in its place was a grand cathedral that rose head and shoulders above the neighboring buildings.
In fact, short of a bell tower, it was one of the tallest buildings in Orario with numerous spires rising out of the top, each intricate in their own way and adorned with white stone designs that provided a sense of awe. From a distance, she had actually mistaken the tallest spire to be one of those bell towers.
The sun had already begun to set, slightly dipping below the horizon. Its light outlined the building in a golden hue, displaying its grandeur and giving the cathedral an almost ethereal glow that left her speechless. The light reflected off the numerous stained glass windows dotting the structure, shining in a spectrum of colors. Nearly all of the yard had been devoured to expand its size and scope to such a magnificent extent that it seemed larger than what it should be.
Its intricate and detailed design rivaled the majestic palaces in the Alf's Royal Forest, but even those had to be wider to support this much height. The fact that it could stand up so high on just this little amount of ground without tipping over and falling made it an architectural marvel that could be said to be the highest achievement that mortal hands had ever wrought. Hiring such a masterful architect would be beyond the means of even their own Familia, and that was–
Riveria suddenly felt someone squeeze her hand.
"...hurry," Ais grumbled.
As usual, the young girl had nothing on her mind aside from the dungeon and killing monsters. The beautiful work of architecture in front of her didn't even hold an iota of her attention. Nonetheless, she was right; they were here to pay off a bet, not to gawk at another Familia's home. Pushing open the gate, they walked through the–in comparison–very small front yard and up the little steps to reach front doors that were twice her height. Riveria raised her hand and was about to knock on them before they suddenly swung open.
The captain of the Eris Familia, Satou Kazuma, and their mage, Megumin, had a surprised look on their faces that probably mirrored the one that she currently had on her own.
"...what are you guys doing here?"
~o~
Megumin had gone off on her own to find Aqua and Darkness, though seeing how big the church was, it would probably be a while before she came back.
Leading his two guests through the aisle between the pews was a bit embarrassing for Kazuma, especially since the older female elf's eyes were looking all around, taking in the decor. All the furnishing and materials that made up the building were just normal wood, stone, and iron; there was nothing fancy about any of that. Some would say that he should spend on higher quality material, but to him, it was the same difference between drawing on printer paper or high quality paper.
As long as the artwork drawn on it was good, what did it matter?
In that sense, everything here had an artistic value provided by Aqua's sense of aesthetics. From the pews to the platform to the podium, everything was tastefully carved and displayed like they were lovingly done pieces that took years rather than the few minutes that they actually took. If she would just monetize her talent instead of only doing it on a whim, they would've never had any money problems at all.
He wouldn't have to bail her out of her drinking debts all the time either!
"How…?" Riveria questioned almost breathlessly.
"Hm?" Glancing at his guests, Kazuma could see that Ais was looking sufficiently bored while Riveria was gawking.
"How can you afford that?!" The elf pointed upward to one of the stained glass windows.
It showed a scene of Kazuma lazily lounging back on the ground at the bottom left, clad only in a strip of white cloth that covered his lower half. He was tiredly holding up his arm as if it was too much effort, barely extending his finger outward like he was having a cramp. In contrast, on the top right, Aqua was lying down on a cloud, covered in only a couple of strips of cloth as well. Compassion and concern were visible on her features as she extended her arm downward with all her effort, pushing herself to barely touch his finger with her own.
Understanding her bewilderment–and not quite caring–Kazuma merely shrugged his shoulders.
"Aqua made it."
"Then what about that?!" Riveria's finger moved on to the next window which showed Darkness regally standing tall with her sword embedded on a pedestal in front of her with Eris floating behind her, hugging the blonde knight around the shoulders. How Darkness got Aqua to make that, he would never know.
Though, it seemed like Aqua had a lot more wine in her hidden stash than before…
"Same thing," Kazuma simply stated. "Honestly, I thought the painting below would catch your attention more."
The painting in question hung from a large canvas, showing Megumin walking away from a large explosion while in the process of putting on sunglasses.
"It makes no sense for there to be so many excellent pieces of artwork. The lines are distinct and the colors blend beautifully with the shadows accentuating the figures and making them seem to pop out as if they were real. They each have their own meaning, arousing such emotion in me that I cannot ignore," Riveria said with a critical eye. "All of these couldn't possibly be done by just one person. Even royal elven artists take decades to produce such moving works of art."
"...do you want one?"
"That won't be necessary." Riveria reached up to rub the bridge of her nose. "Forgive me. I had lost my composure for a few moments."
"It's okay," Kazuma replied nonchalantly. "Do you wear glasses?"
"No. Why?"
"You give off the vibe of a class rep."
Before Riveria could ask what a "class rep" was, Ais gave another impatient yank. The little girl had a discontent look on her face and pursed lips. The royal elf was about to calm down her charge when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. In a large trash can set off to the side against the wall, there was a painting stuck halfway into it.
"...it hurts," Ais belatedly said as her hand was being squeezed in the elven woman's grip.
Releasing Ais' hand, Riveria rushed over to the trash can and pulled the canvas out of it.
"How could you throw away such art?!"
The painting showed a man who oddly looked similar to Kazuma standing on a bridge with his face heavily distorted into a wavy, elongated expression of screaming. It was a bit abstract, but the value of the artwork could not be overstated for the emotions that it was currently invoking in her.
"Because it's trash," Kazuma stated unapologetically. He was pretty sure that the only reason Aqua painted that was to piss him off after he stole from her wine stash.
"Your offer to take one still stands, correct?" At his nod, Riveria said, "Then I'll take this one."
"There are better ones to–"
"If I choose another, what would happen to this one?"
"I was planning to just shred it."
"Then my choice is made. Do you have an issue with it?" She shot him a cold look, daring him to say otherwise.
"...no, ma'am."
"Good."
"What are you two doing?" Megumin asked in bewilderment, having just arrived with Aqua and Darkness in tow. Or at least, had been in tow. The two had already split off to go fuss over the abandoned and forlorn-looking little blonde girl, leaving Megumin to deal with Kazuma and their guest.
"Okay, so it's like this…"
~o~
After Kazuma's ten second explanation that basically amounted to: "She wanted crappy artwork," Megumin had to piece together the rest of the situation by looking at their expressions and what they were holding. Fortunately, with her high intelligence stat that exceeded both Darkness and Aqua's combined intellect, she was able to do just that.
"So, basically, you both were arguing over something stupid." Before the two could protest, Megumin pointed her finger dramatically at the elf. "And you! For someone who disparaged the greatness of Explosion, I never expected you to be so petty!"
"Petty?!" Riveria looked indignant at the accusation. "I'm trying to save a priceless piece of art!"
"Priceless? Hardly!" Megumin looked smugly and self-righteously at the elf. "Anything priceless is only short-lived and starts out with a bang!"
"Not again…" The green-haired elf used her free hand to rub her temple. "Is that the only thing that's ever on your mind?"
"Is there a need for anything else?"
"Are you so foolish that–!"
"Foolish?! I'll have you know that I'm the most intelligent Crimson Demon in the world!"
"That's only true because you're the only member of whatever delusion you made up!"
"Take that back!"
Kazuma slowly backed away while the two engaged in their argument. He already had the same type of arguments in the past, and he knew very well how strong the iron walls of both Megumin's will and chest were. Though, the latter was caused by malnutrition rather than stubbornness.
He made his way over to where his new little sister candidate was currently being entertained by Aqua. The blue-haired former goddess had a black tophat positioned upside-down on her palm. With her other hand, she reached into the hat and pulled out three white hares with red eyes.
Ais was looking at the scene in confusion.
"...how did you hide them?"
"Huh?" Aqua blinked, mirroring her confusion. "Hide them? Why would I do that?"
"...where did they come from?"
"I don't know."
Ais frowned. "Where do they go after?"
"Dinn–"
Kazuma quickly covered Aqua's mouth.
"We release them back into the wild," he said, pointedly looking at Aqua even as he released his grip over her mouth. "Isn't that right?"
"Uh, yeah," Aqua said before wiping her mouth on her sleeve. She looked at Ais. "We let them go back into the forest so they can happily live out their lives destroying the local ecosystem."
"...?" Ais tilted her head as she stared blankly.
"Don't worry about it," Kazuma quickly replied as he stepped on Aqua's foot at the same time.
"Ow! Kazuuumaaaa!"
"By the way, where did Darkness go?"
"...to go prepare the guest rooms," Aqua indignantly replied, still frowning about her bruised foot. "She wanted to make sure you weren't going to sleep in the same room as Ais."
"I wasn't going to do that!"
Aqua didn't look convinced.
"...?" Ais furrowed her brow. "Wasn't that a part of the deal…?"
Aqua simply stared at him with narrowed eyes.
"It was just a joke! A joke!"
~o~
Authors' Notes:
Icura: I fear that with Baldur's Gate 3, Armored Core, and the upcoming Starfield, our posting schedule will take a hit. We are already cutting it super close because of the first two games.
SFX: Whew! Finished just in time!