Not alot could be said about who I was as a child. I didn't fit in anywhere, I was a mutt to most people from either side of my family. Seeing the curly short black hair again takes me back. However, no one was there to protect me for years. I had to do it myself. This type of loneliness and need for belonging will eat away any semblance of happiness and leave you hollow. I knelt down to eye the board game. I clap my hands and repair it as this is still a dream.
"Let's play a little bit. No real rules just pick your units and I'll pick mine." Despite his sadness watching the kid pick the elves and me the orks was surreal.
"Next we place a hero. Ah they have an Barbarian and a Wizard, perfect." Setting up our units on either side of the board.
"There's not alot to say is there?" One "pawn" moves towards the front.
"I can't tell you it gets better as you get older." Matching his movements deliberately placing a knight and knocking down his pawn.
"Some days, you'll laugh. Other times, you'll cry to yourself." I smile at the implication of an archer killing one of my orcs.
"There is no easy path that you'll take. You'll be told to uphold all sort of expectations. You'll be confuse, scare, weary of people, trust too much and get punished for it." He stops his leftmost knight and looks at me confuse. He only seemed to registered a few things but couldn't picture it like I could.
"Who...are you?" The silence hang over me like a knife over my head. It's funny to realize that I don't have the right answer or even an answer to begin with. So let's start slow.
"Just an old friend of the past." He looked lost at that. I breathe in harshly as this was invading everything I stood for.
"I'm you from the future. I know I don't looked like it, because well...we died and somehow found ourselves in a weird place with crazy people and new ideas." He responded by pointing at the door behind me.
"Like nice lady?" Right, our dream selves would run into Doremy when we're asleep. However, I my real self would never meet her in anyway.
"How is nice lady...or what do you think of her?" He hums...fuck it I'll called him T for now. So T thinks for awhile lost in processing my question.
"Nice lady comes to play with me. She even lets me go see other people. But... I don't like this feeling...it hurts. I couldn't cry or go to him because he hurts me too." T's tears as he begins crying as I wordlessly felt my anger rising again at the memories... my whole life felt secondary to his everytime we try to bond...I can't honor a man like that. He left me alone, ignored me. Only after I reached adulthood he wanted to reconnect? I wanted to buried it all again, to not think of it.
"You don't have to rely on him. You're a smart kid with terrible parents. I only wished I took up more initiative before all this. A question I couldn't answer was who am I..." I smirked knowing realistically speaking everyone has a role and mine was played well. However, that doesn't answer T's out of space expression.
"Who I am now is better than who I was back then kiddo. I have reasons to be angry and to cry. I just never condemn the world to my point of view as I saw the world as is. We all go through routines with no change once we find our path. However..." I set the board on fire.
"We don't have to follow a set path. I'm not saying forgoe all routines. But you have to fight the monotony everyday. It's easier when you're not distracted or lazy, the best motivation for myself was boredom. It sucks to be so easily entertain." None of this matters to him with his fearful expression but his eyes were alight with wonder. Placing my hand in the orange flames and turning it blue, then into invisible flames.
"Woooow."
"Yup. Complete fire immunity. Dragon blood is quite amazing." Pulling my hand out, the flame return to orange.
"Things will be different with you and me." I offered to take him out of here. Nodding, he grabs unto my outstretched arm.
"You realized after this, I am the only one that can protect you right?" T nods.
"You trust me that much?"
"Yes." Quick to verbal response.
"Why?"
"Cause you're me."...
"So smart, so young, and unfortunately naive." I grab the doorknob to the front door of this longrunning nightmare. I'm not leaving anything behind again. You can't just forget everything and move on. However, that past doesn't define the future.
"Ready to change the future kid?" He only squeezes my hand.
"Good answer."
Doremy felt a power surge that shook the dream world. Alarm at the sudden shift she turns to see Venus was finally back, with a shift of his demeanor. A piece of him long forgotten was regain.
"So, feeling better?"
"It was awful. But, I think I get it now fully. But why was it here all this time?" Doremy shrugs.
"Some things I can't answer." Venus walks over to her. She seems surprised that he really was taller than her given his burly esk body.
"He only had one request." Picking up Doremy into a bear hug her shrilled cries were ignore by the others watching in amusement.
"Thank you for playing with him."
"DAMMIT BOY! You're welcome. NOW LET ME GO!" He lets her go while she adjusted her hat. Regaining her composer from the sudden affection.
"So can we leave now?" Doremy shook her head at Tenshi.
"It'll be hard to wake you guys as you've been running ragged around the place, just relax and let's talk a spell." I don't know what Doremy was planning but I guess we've been overdoing it today. Doremy layed out on her giant pink orb as pillows materialize.
"Lay down and go into your happy place. Warm sun,laughing children, whatever works. I have a story to tell young'uns." I give them a shrugged as I too, didn't get where she's coming from. Laying down on the oversized pillows I thought back to mom's warmth and the grassy field of the picnic.
"Settle in yet?" Doremy looked over to see the four of them weren't paying attention. She smiles.
"Might as well start from the beginning. There were once was a place that had a lonely gardener. This gardener wanted not just to sowed the seeds of the land, but bare her own seeds as well. Along came a man. Full of fervor and strength unmatched however, his loved of peace and quiet led him to the garden of Higan. Higan open it's doors to his love until it was woefully destroyed by villians of the night. He toiled with the gardener for days on end. The child that bear the mark of nature was sown soonafter. Years turn into decades until finally...that child came here, to Gensokyo. Four seasons came and went, and yet the season of autumn gave us the child borned from faith and will untainted. "All I want, is to fulfill mother's wish." The four seasons cried out into the night and was given...you. Dragon of life." Doremy looked up at her white void and watched a young Yuuka playing in a garden. A sullen history not yet finish.
"The Kazami's are a cursed bunch. They're the pinnacle of nature's wrath,tenacity, and unbridled love. The boy is a Kazami through and through. The Kazami motto: "Strength in nature is our kindness." You're too kind. Much too kind. Doremy could hear the steady breathing beneath her and knew it was time to send them back.
"Well, it's been fun everyone. Prove me wrong Kazami. We depend on you to pull through as much as your son is expected to as well."
"Hrrrrnnnnmmm." Blinking awake sluggishly I smelt food cooking. I looked over and shook Tenshi awake.
"Whaaat?" One by one we were awake from the dream world. I feel...lighter than before. Like something stopped holding me down.
Free to be myself.
You're all awake now? Good, let's eat." Iku...That's alot of food. Iku seemed proud of her assorted meal.
"All this? For two dragons?" Iku is just smiling along not paying attention to us.
"Oarfish?"...
"Iku?"Tenshi sighs in defeat.
"Mama?"
"Yes daughter?" Iku went back to her food setting and yeah, I could eat after that ordeal with Doremy. Sitting down and eating the fried rice that smelled like sunflowers. I looked over to see Medicine grabbed a handful of everything at the table and nutcrackers the glob of stuff into her mouth. The mess congeal and decayed until she tilted her head back as the soupy garbage went down where a throat and stomach would be.
"A very unique way to refilled your poison." That explains everything. Medicine went back to the couch and fell asleep again after that display. Vita was crawling around looking for something within the sea of food only to start nibbling at the fish jerky. Iku noticed an-!
*CLANK*
"WOMAN!" A quick slap down on his midsection.
"Should've ask, be polite lil' dragon. You must have manners." The scruffling sound from Vita kept going until he gave up.
"May thou have the dried fish?" Iku lets go gently. Going back to her soft exterior.
"Yes you may." Not much else happen once we had our filled. Iku got up and left for the front door but before that tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to Vita.
"Let's talk dragon." Tenshi and Medicine were already out like a light. Picking up Vita and following her to the back...Wait.
"Shoo. Go away. I haven't showered all day." Right. Heading back to the front only to hear the water rush faintly. The crickets as the night sky came into view. It's a serenity I've enjoyed for a long time. Rural child of the night. Stars and moon my only comfort in a noisy town.
"Kin?"hmmm?
"Why is night your most active even though everyone else is asleep?"...I shrug at the question. I just prefer the loneliness of it. The calm warmth. That same warmth...I have issues. In a way this all helps me out. Stronger,faster,tougher than most. Yet emotionally...I am a wreck.
"Dragon?" Iku appear in less regal clothing than usual. A Sleveless Halter and shorts. The drying towel hanging from her neck. Her shawl and hat in her vacant hands.
"I should've mentioned that you shouldn't worry about us here at the Garden." Really now?
"We can handle this now. I get the procedures from Medicine and Tenshi. You're probably raring to leave soon judging by the fact you haven't taken your shoes off." Finally. I got off the side of the building to move to the back yard and grabbed the only jeans on the line and switched out my work skirt for something less, degrading to some but it's so comfortable. Yeah, I really want to see her again. I've been holding it off. I had everything in my jacket pockets. I turned to Iku waiting and inspecting the get up.
"You look more like a rebel everyday. Then again, I think all you younguns are quite rebellious." I chuckled softly at her. I wouldn't lie, a new generation of youkai is filling in big shoes around here. I'm no different in that regard.
"Before you run off to the underground. How do you feel dragon?"...
Like I'm me. Just a regular youkai off the street. Iku took my smirk as a sign as she sighs walking away into the house she goes.
"Yo vita?"...Vita?
Here.
I guess you want to stay with me huh?
Oarfish might be a messenger, but her enthusiasm gives me weary feelings.
Yeah I get that too. But, I can't stay here when something else is pretty important to me.
"Red Star." I groan when Vector showed his creepy self again.
"What do you want?" Vector smile wide showing the shark teeth in his mouth.
"A surprise."...
"I don't have time for this." I walked past h-
*Brewwwwnnn*
"Not so fast." Vector came back to view. He was side eyeing me the entire time before facing me again. You gotta be kidding me.
"Time stopping is pretty handy. It's also our ticket to a peaceful Flower Viewing. When they appeared I'll reset the time to just before they're noticed." WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS!?
"Killing high profile targets got me some sweet look alike powers. Took awhile to figured out how to used them with my fighting style." He holds out a tachi.
"Well?"...Really fool?
"Oh right! Give a warm hello to the underground hahhahahahhaha!!"3...2...1.
"Ughfph..." So thats what it feels like? I shook slightly as that feeling of unease crept in. Still, it won't be easy. Taking a running start before taking off towards the underground.
"Satori!?Orin comes barging into my room early into the night.
"Orin? What is-!?" Jumping outta my chair my face burns from the images I saw.
Venus! Why did he showed up here at this hour!?
"I'm not really...dressed to impress."
What? You've both seen eachother naked? Is being in pink nighty really that awful?
Staring wide eyed at my pet. Orin has a point. I'm just...not used to this. Not only that, These feelings...they're getting to be too much to handle.
"Well Satori?" I exhale.
"Stalled until I can be presentable." Orin salutes with a cheshire smile and heads off.
Got here quicker than I normally would, but after everything that happened. I'm not even surprise. Orin came back trying to find the words. Yeah, I came to the palace late at night.
"Ate already?" I nodded.
"Crap, Oh! Anything interesting happened?" You could say that. Orin isn't much for small talk as I looked around the first floor. I did however, noticed the pictures. Orin and Okuu where much smaller at the time. I also...I breathe out tiredly at the newspaper clipping on a coffee table. The same one where me and Satori kissed. I kinda just dislike looking at myself.
"Venus?" I stopped from setting fire to the abhorrent newspaper of me to gaze at the long hair Satori had now. While yeah, it was cut real short to the point you could say she'd be bald before but it was poofy. This however, was long and curled at the end. Covering one tired right eye.
"It grows out quickly. I forget to get it cut, plus it's pretty warm and comfortable." Yeah I can attested to that one. I don't like having less hair...It just feels off on me.
"I didn't know if we meet again during or after spring, and yet." Running towards me I reacted to the sudden hug in kind. Squeezing her gently as I picked her up.
"I'm just glad you're ok. I missed you soooo much and work was boring me to death." Yeah I missed you too, there's things we have to discussed though. A very important, thing.
"Tha-...Oh!...I...uhmmm." Satori looks stunned at the revelation.
"My boyfriend is a...a...wow." She lets go of me and sits down on the nearby chair. Rubbing her temples in the process.
"All this time?" Yep.
"I've bagged the rarest known creature...I-I wouldn't know what to say if we even can have children. I mean, am I really the one?" I see where this is going. Satori.
"I'm sorry it's all just a...shocked. I feel so, inadequate to be with you now. Yet, it doesn't changed that I feel..." Yeah I feel it too. Holding her hands and kneeling.
"Yes, I feel that this decision is the right one for us." I love you so much.
"I love you too."...
"GROSS!"
"Miss Satori?" We stopped as reality brought us back to our original problem. A heavy sigh as we faced them both.
"Can't exactly shared a bed. It's too small but...followed me and watch your step." Taking a right instead of the left, the halls are filled with the distinct smell of cats and other animals. Seriously the musk and heat is awful as a mix of sharp bitter smells.
"Y-yeaaaah...I tried to keep it maintained but I just love animals so much." Pets of all kind came by and some aren't you're average house pets. Nope, Tigers, certain feral youkai that can talk, different breeds of dogs, birds, bipedal animal youkai as well. It's wild that it seems there are only women here.
"It's hard to keep a male feral or any males down here for too long. I'm surprised you recognize that this is also a animal rescue and adoption center." How? Satori turns around petting a young beagle.
"I can't keep them all here. They need real homes, well except the rehabilitated ferals and bipeds." I see how it all works, Satori gets sent forgotten pets, raises and trains them with available hands, then breeds or gets them adopted into a forever home...worse case the pet or animal in question gets merced off the planet or just dies here happily. She gaved me a concerned look.
"You need to work on that mind of yours, I wouldn't want these innocent creatures getting hurt like that." Of course, but even you can't prevent them from getting hurt. She sighs as she kept walking until we came to an outside pool with natural waters flowing into a deep basin.
"The fish are for food and the water is a downstream underground pipe built to connect with the kappa rivers. It all gets filtered thanks to the Mountains." Yeah it's an old technique mixed with newer ideas. Satori went around the pool and motions to an untouched couch. This is gonna be a running theme isn't it? As far as I could tell it didn't even smelled like chlorine or any cleaning byproducts for that matter. Even that stuff is sold normally at Eientei and the village.
"That's because, it was dropped off this morning."... Yukari meddling again. Satori got a playback of everything up to this point. She quickly grabs my arm and I follow her briskly through the halls. Soon we made it to a set of double doors and inside looked like ballroom.
"Not fair, It's not fair that you danced with them while I was worried sick." She walked over to a gramophone and set the needle. A classical orchestra played in the empty room.
"I can't fight, but I can dance. The only good thing about reading minds is reaction time." Satori really wanted to dance in pajamas? Her curtsy said everything.
"May I have this dance." Taking her hand and following her lead. The swaying in this serene moment reminds me that I'm quite impatient and would rushed through things.
"Lower." I'm confuse until Satori started guiding my hand on her back to her butt.
"That's the lover's position. You don't have to be a gentleman all the time Venus. Just let go a bit more of that restraint." Satori bury her head into my chest and put her toes onto my feet so now I was leading. Sorry, but without restraints we're no better than the animals you keep. I get what she means though.
"Shhhhh...No more thinking. Just let us cherished this moment." Holding her closer and feeling her heartbeat.
I got my filled after the second 20 minute repeat of the music. However, we're both a little tired. The only other thing I noticed was giant red pillows in the corner.
Fuck it.
I wasn't in any mood to go looked through the palace for a place to sleep. Housting her up so we can crashed in the ballroom is an easy enough task.
"Mnnnnrrreow. One misplace hand and you'll meet my claws." I've just ass grabbed her earlier. Did you just get here Orin? Satori was out of it at this point. Setting her down into it and seeing the petite youkai sink into it like a toy really made me think how fragile she is in comparison to most youkai. I face Orin who clearly doesn't like this, or me since day one.
"Look, I know that she's happy to have such a caring man in her life. But she has us, what do you have that none of us couldn't have?" That's not the right question. You're family, atleast to Satori you're all family to her. However, I am the outsider whose taking a special part away from them. That "closeness" has probably only become reserved for me. Its a love made for couples, not a love for your pets and family. Orin look sad as she cast her eyes down avoiding my eye contact. Her fist ball in rage.
"All this time...Why did she choose you? You can't help us. No one can help us but ourselves. You don't shy away from her, or called her weird, a disaster, ugly, a freak. What are you? You're not a normal youkai, human or whatever the hell you are."
"Orin?" She snaps outta of it as Okuu comes in and sees the tears on her face.
"ORIN!" Orin held out a hand causing Utsuho to stopped running over.
"I'm fine, I-I'm...okay. I just can't believe someone like this existed for my lady. I don't know if to hate you, or berate myself for trying to hate you? You're a walking enigma Venus Rose, just what will you do next?" I shrugged as I walk past them. I need rest but the mood is gone. Once outside the ballroom I noticed a comfy red love seat. I sigh in relief as I really could use the sleep. Crashing unto it fully clothed and hearing the various shuffle of animals brings me back memories.
I wasn't a good pet owner. If she knew to what extent...would she hate me?
There's always a thing that will catch you on your high horse. I suppose I'll come clean soon. Having regrets and saying sorry won't fixed that type of pain. She was right, I should've put that anger to good use a long time ago.
"Satori." Orin grits her teeth as the man who carries such anger is right outside this room. No amount of lovey dovey displays could go pasts her instincts. The man called Venus is exactly like the skinner she met. The flayed corpses, the wide smile, despite his supposedly kind demeanor.
"One day. One day you'll rip out her heart. You can't fool me." The anger subsided as she looked over at Okuu who was cuddling Satori. She sighs as she tries to rationlize how such an kind person could have such anger permeate through his entire being. Satori said she knew that Venus's past was a bitter thing he'd rather forget. After being told about how he treats animals. She was more cautious. Not everything was hidden from them both. Yet, why didn't she react?...The only way Satori could ignored it is if Satori felt kindred to his plight of being a monster. Misunderstood evil was what Satori said to her.
"Orin, he's not the same as the person he was during his time as an outsider. Besides, so far, he hasn't treated people unkindly that didn't deserved it. I think you should be happy for me instead of condemning an innocent man. Venus was just misunderstood evil. He had no where to go at the time. That sense of loss would turn anyone to do anything to feel like they're alive. Crazy thing, the power of acceptance will do if it isn't given or is gave huh?"
"Sorry Satori...but I can't accept such a dangerous man into our home. You're too kind and naive." Walking out of the ballroom she looked over his sleeping body.
"Your existence, is a liability." Pulling a sharpen senzu oiled crochet needle. Raising both hands over Venus.
"You'll hurt her, just like the rest. Sorry boy, but Satori should know better than loving a true monster in sheep's clothing."
You wasn't kidding Vita, she really hates me?
Kin? Why intentionally let her continue this?
"May you sleep eternally peaceful child...HAAAA!"
*SHHHRNNNK*
"What!?"
I don't mind ruining my hand if I'm getting attack. The blood splatter over the grey coat and unto the satin red love seat. Staring directly at Orin's frustrated face. Vita crawl unto my stomach.
"Must you keep hurting your hands?" I shrugged as I lightly shove Orin outta the way forcing her to let go of the needle and stumble.
"It's lace with poison. You shouldn't have been here to begin with. What can Satori ever offered you besides her body? Everyone else..." I shrugged as I pull the needle out in slight apathy. My hands were unable to function after my 20s anyways. So really, not a problem in this body of hyper regeneration.
"Feline?"
"Its Orin, lizard."
"Why are you so adamant in wanting my kin dead?" Orin's fury in her eyes didn't subside.
"HE'S A ANIMAL ABUSER! THAT'S WORSE THAN FEIGNING IGNORANCE AND FUCKING MY MASTER!!!"...
"Stop it you two." We turned our attention to Satori who despite her tired eyes, had a looked of disappointment.
"Master I-!?"
"Will apologize to Venus for attacking him." Hold on, you knew what I did before my reincarnation? Satori faced me slowly.
"A dark place, you didn't intend to be cruel. Just as you don't intend to do those you love harm. As I said Orin. We're both misunderstood monsters. You regretted every moment of cruelty you done onto them. They loved you as much as you try to deny it." Yeah, I can't apologize to them after what I did to them. I am not a good pet owner. How can you look past that?
"I killed animals to survive, I didn't give them comfort or bury them after they died, you however, have cried and try to help them even in their dying breathes. It doesn't resolve our crimes. I mean afterall... We're monsters, we'll always be monster. Hell will take our souls one day Venus. Until that day, let's keep going up that river." I don't deserve you...I can't repay you. Satori walks over and grasp my hands in hers.
"Most importantly, you're not the man you used to be. I see the you of the outside as someone who no longer exists. Not only that, you haven't shown the same signs as a cruel man. A cruel man wouldn't regret his every action. A cruel man doesn't reflect his life. He doesn't worry what people think of his actions even upto his dying breath. I made my choice, I refuse to doubt it as I can see the heart with my heart. You can't hide your intentions Venus. Not once during your attack did you think to actually retaliate against Orin."... I...really...
"Shhhhhhh. Let's just rest."
Orin watch them fall asleep and let go of the thought to kill him. His senses are too good for a normal Youkai. That thing that crawl from his coat though.
"Feline." Great she's hearing voices. Until she felt something tug on her left braid. Looking down at Vita hanging from it.
"What the!?"
"Silence Feline. Let's talk amicably." She grimaced but gave up.
"I can't believe the rumors are true, dragons are returning."
"You are noble in protectimg your master however, you forced them both to relived the pasts they'd rather forget. I can't tell you to not hate my kin, but... They're the same sided drachma and have both ignored their deepest secrets until now. You should best try to understand them before condemning them. My kin's past is unforgivable, as well as your master's. They were cruel people who did things they clearly regret now." Orin huffs as she walk into the ballroom. She still saw Okuu asleep curled into herself.
"Fine, you win lizard. But if he goes back to his old ways. I'll hunt you both down." Orin picked up Vita and gently put him down on the floor...He started scrambling towards her.
"FELINE!?" Sticking her tongue out at him.
"MNNNNNN. Should've thought of a better form dragon."
"Woman!"
"I wonder what those two love birds are doing right now?" Iku had midnight tea to calm her nerves from today's hectic day.
Author notes: Yeah pretty heavy topics. I do believe most will dislike me and Venus for writing that. Even still, I'm looking to do voice acting soon. Who knows, maybe fanfiction reading will be a thing I do next. I won't feel ill will to people who drop it after this one.