"I will kill you Kohaku." The little sister of my bro casually states her intentions, her rage is flaring as usual. Though this time it's because she's losing again and again at a fighting game.

Kohaku shrugs, not scared at all. "It's not my fault you always guess wrong on the fifty, fifty." Stop using advanced stuff like that against beginners!

Akiha certainly agrees with me. "I have never played this game before...! I have never played a game before! So stop using such dirty tactics!" She might genuinely break Kohaku's controller.

Kohaku smirks. "Excuses~. I mean Shiki and Yuta are new to this, and yet they can block the stuff I do... Every. Single. Damn. Time." She seems equally as mad as Akiha at the end.

The truth is that Shiki and I have an advantage over her. Both of us can fight supernatural creatures and react to them, we are essentially big fucking cheaters.

The concept of a 'read' might as well not exist for us, because Kohaku moves in slow motion, we can tell what she's doing in the first frame of her action. We analyze what button she's pressing in the controller without even looking at her.

She can't Oki us decently, she can't truly use cross-ups against us, we always know whether we should block low or not, or even whether we should parry. I don't think I need to say this, but neutral is a nightmare against us as well.

The only advantage poor Kohaku has is that she's familiar with the more subtle details of this game, she knows whether a move is plus on block for example. Still, that hasn't been enough to carry her into victory, both Shiki and I are giants she can't overcome.

Towards Kohaku's pain, I can only shrug. "Some people are just built different." Though Shiki is built even better than me, since I'm losing more than I'm winning.

In my defense, I'm feeling a bit lightheaded. In a way, it almost feels like I'm drunk, but that can't be the case. I haven't drank anything except for good old water today.

Now, my brain is telling me that this could be because of Kohaku's food. But I'm a smart man, and so I have mostly eaten the food that is shared by everyone. I guess maybe I got fucked up even from small doses? Seriously Kohaku, what did you put in my food...?

Shiki smirks. "Indeed Akiha. But don't worry, I believe one day you can reach Kohaku's level, even Yuta's level if you're dedicated... I however shall always be an mountain you can't conquer... I am death." That's so cringe.

Though I can't help, but notice Shiki is also red in the face. It's weird, since he didn't even touch my super sandwiches at all, so he should be completely sober.

Hisui giggles, it's something one would never expect from her. "L-level~! He said level~!" There's nothing funny about that, but you are red in the face too...

A trembling Akiha drops the controller, she looks at Shiki. "B-Big Brother, save me! And kill Kohaku...!" Akiha, who is in the same state as us is begging for help.

Kohaku smirks. "Oh? So the proud challenger gives up? The Tohno family really is something else." Kohaku is the only one seemingly sober.

I look at all the food around us. "Oh. Cool." I realize what she did now, by making it seem like she was only targetting me, she masked her true intentions. Those intentions were targetting everyone, this maid is way too dangerous.

Shiki starts moving towards Akiha. "Ok, it's big bro time. I'm going to big bro all over Kohaku." That sounds perverted! Also when did you become Morbius!?

Hisui steps in front of him, arms outstretched. "I will protect Honored Sister no matter what! Specially from glasses wearing boys who always leave their room a mess."

Shiki blushes. "H-Hisui...! Don't tell that to everyone, b-besides I always try to clean everything up myself, it's you who interrupts me."

Hisui nods. "That's because it's my job. Also because it's my job. I do it because I must do it to complete my job." Yeah, Hisui is the weird type of drunk... If we're even drunk at all, for all I know Kohaku made the food contain something else...

Shiki looks down. "D-damn it...! I can't beat Hisui, sorry Akiha." He gave up on his big brother responsibilities so easily!? Shiki is truly amazing in every way imaginable.

Hisui has a smug look on, she starts giggling again. "You're not on my level... Le-level~." There's nothing funny about the word level, so please unstupid yourself Hisui.

I smirk. "Well, if the big brother is unavailable, then it seems I'll have to fill in for him. Akiha here I come!" Semen, hehehehe. I might be just as bad as Hisui.

I can see Hisui's pained expression. "Ah, I stopped the cat, but let the lion enter...! Well, it's not on the job description anyways, sorry honored sister~." Now you gave up on the sibling thing too!?

Once I reach the Kohaku and Akiha, the maid is the first one to say anything. "W-wow, I'm gonna be attacked!? Please remember that no means no." I'm not gonna attack you that way.

I sit besides Akiha. "E-explain the situation. I'll be like your second big brother and lend a hand for now." I feel like the effects of the food are getting worse.

Akiha nods and hugs me. "O-okay! But you can't be my second big bro, Shiki is my second big bro. And you can't be my first big bro, Shiki is my first big bro... he's a meanie."

Kohaku's eyes widen at Akiha's weird comment. "W-wait a second La-Akiha, maybe you should drop the big bro thing!" Please don't confuse drugged drunk Akiha even more than she already is.

Akiha pouts. "I won't drop it, I like when big bro, big bro's. It makes me hot down there." Wow! That's certainly a thing you just said! Is this a incest fetish thing!? "N-now Yuta is my third big bro~!"

She starts whispering in my ear. "Beat her up~. Beat her up~. Forget summer and beat her up~." You are a menace drunk Akiha, I'm glad I have witnessed your existence.

I nod. "Okay A-Akiha, I'll destroy Kohaku completely. Her dreams, her aspirations, her hope, even her identity. All shall be gone to the wind, soon she will lose her name."

Kohaku's eyes are even wider now. "That sounds super scary! But you can destroy me anytime~!" Awesome, I sure love consent... To beat you up in a fight game.

Akiha has a smug smile. "M-my Big Boyfriend Brother is gonna destroy you~! And then I'm gonna write about him in my diary again! " You just said something really strange! In a very strange way too!

Kohaku giggles. "This was so, so worth it!" Yeah, she definitely spiked our food... With something, I don't know what it is, but it's pretty heavy.

I can tell that, because Shiki is currently passed out, while Hisui looks at the roof and keeps muttering. "Hypnosis, hypnotize all men into " The last part is coming out in bad engrish.

I'm affected too, my eyelids struggling to stay open at all, the only reason why I haven't given up is that I must protect my new little sister from the claws of this maid.

I grabbed the controller Akiha dropped. "It's showtime, maid." Hopefully I won't lose, but I am feeling pretty fucking dizzy... For some reason I feel it, all my ancestors screaming at me...! Fighting while being drunk is easy!

Kohaku giggles. "This time...! This time I will surely win! It will be a total Kohaku victory! Without any cheating at all!" You're definitely cheating! Making your opponent high is the definition of cheating!

...

Kohaku is looking down in pain. "I lost. How? Why? Even after all that?" She looks at me with scorn in her eyes. "What the hell are you and Shiki!? The Lebron and Jordan of fighting games!?"

Hisui giggles one last time. "New plan. " after saying that in bad engrish she passes out, leaving only Akiha, Kohaku and me standing.

Akiha cheers. "Yay! Yuta Bro won!" She then looks at me. "R-reward~! It's reward time~! Little sisters belong to their big brothers~!" That sounds like something I would say! You're scary when high Akiha!

Kohaku puts her hands on Akiha's shoulder. "Now, now, let's not do something we will regret tomorrow... Specially since I will be blamed for it!" You deserve to be blamed though!

Akiha slaps her hand away. "S-shut up, that's an order! Wait... That's a suggestion, that's a suggestion!" She then hugs Kohaku. "I didn't mean to order you! Sorry..."

Kohaku sighs. "Ah, I hate when drunks get like this... Well, the night is pretty much over." She looks at me. "So? Wanna pass out Yuta~?" I definitely want to pass out, but I won't!

I glare at her. "I won't pass out! I-I'm invincible! I-I beat Vlov! It was me, all me, fully me." I probably shouldn't scream that, I'm being more affected by this than I thought.

Kohaku chuckles. "I see...? Well, I can't deny your invincibility when you have destroyed me all night." That's right, I'm god baby!

I raise a hand. "Throughout heaven and ea-earth! I alone am... am the honored one." Someday I will use this in a combat setting, I promise!

Akiha release Kohaku from the hug, she starts crawling towards me. "That's right...! Reward~!" I can definitely accept a reward!

Akiha jumps on top of me, it's strange, having a girl's body pressed against mine. I have done 'it' with Rika multiple times, but she certainly doesn't have the body of a human.

I feel Akiha's heat connect with mine, the warm touch of one human to another... In this situation I can almost imagine Akiha having red hair, just like Sensei. Wait, why does Akiha actually have red hair!? Have I reached a new level of high!? Amazing!

Akiha whispers. "Let's do it big brother~! Let's do it Yuta~! Yuta~!" I'm definitely getting hard in this situation... Sorry Shiki! I just remembered you are literally passed out in this room!

Thankfully even drunk Akiha has limits, instead of doing something way too crazy, she just kisses me. It's certainly easier than kissing Rika, that's for sure.

After the kiss ends, several things happen in succession, first Akiha passes out on top of me, muttering. "Mate~..." That's super perverted!

Second of all, Rika comes out of my shadow. "Okay, it's murder time~!" Ah, shit I have to protect Shiki's little sister!

And the final step is Kohaku screaming. "What the fuck!?" That's the natural reaction to this, she's the only one who's sober after all... Sadly I don't have tine to do anything.

I pass out. Kohaku's drugs have throughly defeated me.

A blushing Akiha is holding a tea cup, her hand is trembling. "S-so, yesterday happened..." It certainly did.

I steal a glance at Kohaku, so far she hasn't mentioned anything. But she definitely saw Rika, and she wasn't drunk enough to pass out as a hallucination.

I'm lucky Rika didn't massacre everyone there. I talked with my girlfriend when I went to the bathroom, and she decided to forgive everyone because of two reasons.

First, we were all drunk, and therefore she felt kind of bad blaming us... A foolish mentality, people should definitely be held accountable for what they do when they're drunk. Thankfully both Akiha and I were in that state, so I don't feel like I took advantage of Shiki's little sister.

And Rika's second reason ties up with the little sister part. Apparently she would feel bad about killing 'Four Eyes' beloved younger sibling.

Still, nothing changes the fact that Kohaku certainly saw Rika emerge from my shadow, the question is why she's deciding to be so silent about it.

Shiki pushes his glasses up. "It was fun, but..." He glares at Kohaku. "What the hell did you put in the food!? It's giving me a headache today!"

Hisui nods, she doesn't look too good, just like the rest of us. "You should not have done that Honored Sister, we have work today, and the rest of them must go to school." Don't even mention that...

Kohaku shrugs. "Eh, it wasn't anything too heavy, just some stuff I cooked up! I mean I didn't use anything illegal as ingredients..." She then mutters. "But I did construct something illegal with them."

Akiha glares at her. "Do not do something like that ever again! At least if you value your life." Kohaku gives that a mock salute. I have a feeling she will definitely do it again.

Akiha sighs, her gaze shifts to me, and she blushes bright red. "N-now we must discuss... that." In front of Shiki!? He will definitely fucking kill me!

Still, I nod. "Yeah, we might as well." It would be cruel to act as if nothing had happened, specially since Akiha is like two years younger than me... Actually she's many years younger than me! Let's ignore that though, I live that Rudeus life.

Shiki raises an eyebrow. "Discuss what? Did something strange happen..." He sighs. "The last thing I remember was trying to break through Hisui indestructible defense."

Hisui nods. "That's the last thing I remember too. I definitely didn't start fantasizing about hypnosis." You did! You certainly did! And also Lebron James for some reason...

Akiha looks down, her face is now concealed, but her ears are bright red. "Y-Yuta and I... had a moment of passion." Don't put it like that! It sounds way more lewd than what it was.

Shiki takes off his glasses. "Too soon, you moved too soon Yuta. So you have to die, sorry." He's definitely thinks it was something way worse than just a kiss!

I put my hands up. "Wait a minute! It was just a kiss! And it was like... one time! We didn't even have a makeout session or anything!" It was so tame that in my original country of Brazil it would be barely counted as a kiss... That might be because Brazilian people are way too perverted though, including me of course.

Shiki puts his glasses back on. "Then that's fine... I guess." Considering the fact that I'm Rika's husband it certainly isn't! But I appreciate the bro levels you are currently showing.

Akiha glares at both of us. "J-just a kiss!? It was way more special than that! Our hearts were a blaze!" Oh boy, now she actually does have a crush.

Shiki chuckles. "Damn virgins." Don't brag about how you were taken advantage of as a young boy! If I wasn't scum myself, I would have certainly started a fight with that stupid nurse!

Akiha's eye twitches. "Don't say that like you aren't one yourself!" Shiki just chuckles even more. Poor Akiha, she doesn't know my bro is rizz incarnate when he wants to be.

Akiha then looks back at me. "And ignoring my stupid brother, we must now discuss our relationship!" We are in a relationship now!?

She starts listing off demands. "I require at least one date per week, though they may be casual ones occasionally, such as going to the beach."

She nods to herself. "Holidays will be spent with me, though I shall allow you to choose one where that isn't the case. Except for Christmas, we are going to spend Christmas together."

She continues. "You have until I turn twenty five to propose to me. I expect you to be a master swordsman by then, so return to the kendo club. You must also have completed college, make sure to choose a degree worthy of my station... Also study about oni folklore!"

The rest of the room is completely silent, it's only natural, since Akiha just went crazy. Why oni folklore anyways!? Are you secretly a chuuni Akiha!? Do you want your husband to share your chuuni ways!?

I raise a hand, breaking the tense silence. "That's cool and all, I accept most of these demands, but there's one more thing..." Besides maybe the college one, I will be busy with church stuff after all.

Akiha smiles. "Good. I would hate to date an indecisive man..." She blushes. "By the way, if that thing you want to talk about is... you know what it is...! We shall only do so after marriage."

She continues. "S-so if your perverted monkey brain can't handle it, then make sure to be worthy of marrying me as fast as possible. I shall be accepting proposals as soon as I am legally allowed to, as long as you fulfill my criteria of course."

I nod. "I see, though I'm pretty sure I can convince you of doing it faster than that..." I have to get that Akihussy! "But the thing I was talking about is not sex."

I continue. "I am talking about my harem of course, I have a bunch of woman who I am pursuing. It goes without saying that I have no intention of stopping."

Akiha is shocked into silence. From the background Kohaku gives me a thumbs up. "To say something like that in front of Lady Akiha! And here I thought Fearless was Shiki's theme!" What did she mean by this?

Hisui nods. "Indeed, Yuta is truly the definition of a go getter... It seems my predictions of him becoming Lord Tohno were correct."

Shiki grins. "It's a pain, but Yuta won't compromise... My sister better be top queen in the harem though." Please fight against this more.

The tea cup Akiha is holding cracks in a thousand pieces under her grip. "Obviously you will disband your harem! If not, then I will be disbanding them myself!"

She continues. "Tomorrow bring those two stupid women here, I shall display how much class I possess, humiliating them. After that they will willingly leave."

She chuckles. "Yes, I won't accept harems at all! So tomorrow your stupid, childish, pathetic, dream ends!"

"Nuh-uh."

"What the hell do you mean nuh-uh!?"

AN: Kohaku was planning on making a move this night, but she got cucked... A reverse of what happens on her route, where she cucks Akiha. Truly this fic reverses expectations.