"I am so fucking dead... Why am I even joining this mess again?" Zelretch told me to never step foot in Snowfield! And if there's one thing I learned is that you're supposed to always listen to him.

That guys is seriousness incarnate, if Sensei is the True Magician equivalent of a nuke, then Zelretch is the True Magician equivalent of a knife. Sharp, precise and calm, though this comparison only works for their personalities of course. The old man can match Sensei in power blow by blow.

Rika gets out of my shadow. "You said something about wanting to meet ancient heroes Yuta!" Right... Actually I want to fuck a legendary hero. Though I wouldn't be sad if I summoned a guy either.

Having a bro could be nice! Besides I'm sure the war will be full of other cute girls anyways! Though I obviously won't tell my real intentions to Rika. In fact I won't tell my true intentions to the rest of my harem either, as far as they know I'm just enjoying a casual trip to the US. Of A.

Now, I don't think I fooled all of them, but the scary ones like Arcueid certainly bought my excuses, so it's fine! And the reasonable ones like Senpai concluded it would be a good idea for me to be here in such a dangerous time.

I mean, even if I didn't go here out of my own volition, the church would probably ask me to do so. It's way too dangerous to leave a wish granting device in the hands of mages. I'm going to wish getting Dead Apostles pregnant is possible by the way... At least when I'm the one doing the fucking.

I give Rika a thumbs up. "Yeah, hopefully I summon a cool one... Oh, stay in loli form and behind me by the way." Who knows what a legendary hero would do if he saw Rika in monster form.

I'm confident in her ability to win any fight of course, but I don't want to kill my heroic spirit... Unless I summon someone like Hitler or something, though in that case I'll be the one doing the killing.

Rika nods. "Got it~. But it's not like we use monster form much outside of battles nowadays anyways." That's true, the loli mode is way more convenient.

Rika looks at the circle I have drawn on the ground and makes a questioning face. "How does this work anyways?" I don't know! Don't ask me!

I sigh. "Something about the throne of heroes or whatever, I don't really care about it. To be honest I haven't even memorized the chanting, I'm just hoping to pump it full of mana to get a result." That's less ridiculous than it sounds.

In the end chanting is just a form of self-hypnosis, a skilled enough mage can completely ignore it. Well, it's not like I'm Touko or anything, but hopefully the fact that I have more mana than this 'grail' will make up for it.

Rika chuckles. "Well, hopefully it works and you don't just explode the city... Though they may deserve it, it's full of creepy stalkers!" Look who's talking! But there is some truth to what Rika is saying.

There's no doubt in my mind that I started being watched the moment I entered the city... But I honestly don't care, they can see me doing crazy shit all the want, it won't matter to me anyways.

I'm not even scared of a sneak attack. I keep Sensei's True Magic always in my body nowadays, and turns out surviving sneak attacks is super easy when you can just send them to the future or something.

Rika smiles. "Though they did turn down on the surveillance once they scanned your hands for some reason... Did they see you were married and gave up on their pursuits!?"

I snort. "I doubt that's the case... They probably just noticed I don't have command seals. Those are normally needed to summon servants by the way." I however, am HIM! So I don't really care.

Rika sighs. "Well, you are amazing Yuta... But you seems unprepared even by your usual standards..." That's because I didn't have time to plan! If I did everyone would definitely notice it!

And if they noticed it they would probably use sounds arguments like 'Zelretch told you not to go' and stuff! And since I want to go, that would be terrible!

I huff. "Whatever, let's just get this show on the road..." I imagine a familiar terrifying scene of Rika dying. "Give me everything." My grain explodes as usual.

It's a controlled explosion, one I send to the circle I have drawn. There is no need for leylines or the support of the grail, I'm more than enough.

I'm pumping enough mana on this circle to surpass a nuke when it comes to energy, but nothing is happening, probably because I completely ignoring any ritual whatsoever.

I groan. "C'mon! Do something!" I want a cute hero wife damn it! I'll even take a crazy one like Morgan Le Fay or something! Actually crazy is my usual thing.

Very well, but ignore Prelati. If such is not possible, then kill him.

Ah! It's my usual sugar mommy! As always she's here to both help me, and to give me nonsensical instructions! Though I have no idea who Prelati is... Even if I faintly recall that name from history class.

The circle now shines a bright red, it seems my sugar mommy pulled some strings. I was about to pull some crazy shit with Sensei's magic, so I'm glad that wasn't necessary.

The glow of the circle illuminates the whole room, but before long it's extinguished. A figure now stands on top of it. Their presence alone takes my breath away.

It's a woman thankfully, and she has the usual unbelievable charm I'm used to. Though it does not reach Arcueid, it's still very impressive. Anyone with eyes can tell this woman is beautiful, contrary to the Vampire Princess, who you can tell is a beauty even while being blind.

But there is something whole unique about how... Her twitching fox ears, and her bushy fox tails. It goes without saying that my mind has been instantly filled with images of sex.

She gives me a bright smile. " Oh my what a handsome one! Count your lucky stars my husband, because you have called upon a reliable, cute, adorable wife! Her name is... A total secret ! But her class is that of Caster!"

I smile as brightly as I can. "Okay, glad to have ya! By the way, I completely accept the husband role." I want to impregnate this fox! Heroic Spirits can't be impregnated... Maybe I can change that with my wish as well!?

Rika however, glare at Caster. "Another one!? Really!? Are you a hero or a harlot!? Don't throw yourself at my man!" Please keep throwing yourself.

Caster giggles. "Calling me a harlot is not exactly inaccurate though..." She then glares right back at Rika. "That said, who are you? A little curse that does not know her place?" Don't call Rika little!

Caster continues. "I'll have you know that I expected my husband to resist my wifely charms for much longer, however he instantly accepted me... And that red thing said he had a handsome soul, so I'm happy about it."

Caster starts growling, she really does look like a fox right now. "Which is why this Caster is completely mad this random curse thinks she has any say on this."

Rika rolls her eyes, she has gotten used to woman becoming strangely possessive of me very quickly. "I'll have you know I'm married to Yuta."

Caster raises an eyebrow. "Yuta...? Is that his name? And marriage huh?" Right, you started considering me your husband before you even learned my name! How amazing.

I fake a cough. "Yeah, Yuta Okkotsu is my name." I motion towards Rika. "And this is my wife Rika Okkotsu." We have gotten officially married these past few years.

I then give Caster a thumbs up. "Don't worry though! I'm a man who has a harem! So feel free to join it!" I'll definitely take a fox girl.

Caster frown. "Huh? A harem? My husband thinks he's some sort of playboy? No way, absolutely no way." Why did you say playboy with bad engrish!? "Cheating on me with a curse? Polygamy Castration Fist it is! " That sounds scary!

Rika glares at the fox. "Stop talking like I'm some sort of thieving cat! You're the newcomer here, so know your place." Rika crosses her arms. "Dumb bimbo fox, somehow I can already tell you're worse than Bimbocueid!"

Caster glares right back at her. "Of course you're the thieving cat! My meeting with my now husband was preordained... somewhere, therefore you're the scummy one!"

Caster then gives me a smile. " So Master, what will you choose? A happy life where I will cook for you, clean for you, take care of all your needs... Or losing your precious sword down there!?" I like my sword!

I sigh. "Rika or Caster, if I have to choose... Both, I choose both!" I extend two fingers. "I can accept a choice that leads me to making my harem smaller!" Also I would obviously choose Rika over Caster, who I just met!

Caster's eye twitches. "I see... But I have decided to spare your sword for now... mostly because I am indeed the newcomer."

She grins. "I'm not the version of myself that specializes in ruining marriages, but a girl makes do! it's divorce time !" Don't say that so happily! "That's right, I'll steal your heart Master~!"

■■■■■■■■■■■!

What the hell was that? Rika and Caster have started arguing, but I can't pay attention at all. That's because someone is screaming their lungs out. They're using the world itself.

I chop Rika in the head. "Pause for a second Rika." It's a invite, someone is inviting another someone to a fight. That someone can talk through nature itself.

Rika glares at me. "I can't pause now! I'm defending my marriage from the harlot you have summoned!" Please stop calling the legendary hero a harlot! Even if she said she kind of is one.

I grin. "Sorry Rika, but we have a party to crash." No way I'm missing this. "Please give me Kaleidoscope and... we might as well go full guns blazing, hand me the Millennium Castle as well."

Caster is looking completely confused while Rika gasps. "Wow! Who are we fighting!? Ain't that total overkill!?"

"It sure is! Let's use them all anyways!"

AN: Yuta enters the Snowfield war! This is non-canon obviously and it also happens on the future. Oh by the way, this Yuta isn't ORT level just yet, but he is very strong. A true Satoru Gojo, changing the balance of the world just by existing.

It goes without saying that his reputation at this point is crazy, Prelati is trembling. Both in the good way and the bad way... mostly in the bad way.

Also this omake is just my excuse to do a fate equivalent of the Sendai colony someday. Yuta joining a crazy free for all with Herc, Gil, Enkidu and like Pale Rider or something.

Pale Rider would be the cockroach curse obviously.