"I've been thinking, Iroh," I start, hand warm around my tea as the cold wind cuts through my heavy cloak. We're at one of the northernmost ports that the Fire Nation has made out of the Earth Kingdom. Our last stop before we set sail for the Northern Water Tribe waters. Waters that are likely "infested" as Zuko says, with waterbenders. I am most excited to return to a city that I've been to before.

Zuko is most excited to continue our training. He is getting better every day, and one day, he will swat me to the ground. I tell Iroh of his progress, and he simply nods at the information.

"What about?"

"When you were trying to convince me to teach Zuko airbending, we talked about how we both believe all bending is spiritual. That each element cannot truly exist without the other. That they move together in harmony; everything is balanced. I said I didn't really know if I still believed in that, because I can't bend anymore.

"But the more I thought about it, Iroh, the more that it makes sense that all four elements and the lack thereof are all connected. I mean, everything is connected. There are seven chakras in the body, and if one is blocked, they're all potentially blocked. What if the solution to my bending issue is that I'm focused on it. That the thoughts that it won't come back will simply be erased if I didn't think about them anymore? Furthermore, what if I focused on trying to connect other elements to myself?"

"What do you mean by that? Connecting other elements to yourself?"

"I was very young when I first thought if I could change my attitude, my spiritual essence, I could bend any element. Like the Avatar. But all separately. Everything is connected. The air, the earth, fire, water. What if Zuko and I traded teachings? What if, along with me sharing airbending, he shared firebending techniques?"

"You want to firebend?" Iroh asks, mouth agape.

"Oh, no. I don't genuinely believe I can bend fire anymore than you can bend water. I was young when I thought about that. But we've talked in depth about how bending is made stronger by borrowing techniques from different places. I saw you bend lightning during the storm, remember? That wasn't a firebending move."

"No, you're correct. I created it by studying how waterbenders move with their element. When only relying on one element, people get stale, rigid. By studying you and airbending, Zuko is expanding his worldview. Part of me hopes by working with you, Zuko will understand that his destiny is not necessarily just about the Avatar, that there are different paths available to him."
"Well, that's why I'm still here." I spread my hands out jokingly, gesturing toward the snow tipped mountains around us, the chill in the air, my position in the world.

Iroh chuckles, deep and belly full. "I cannot speak for my nephew. I believe having a conversation with him would help to answer your questions."

"Do you think he would be up for it?"

"Only he can answer that." Iroh points over to the door that Zuko just walked out of. "You can ask him yourself before practice begins. You might be surprised by his answer."

I down the rest of my tea, setting the cup down. "Thank you." I bow, moving away toward Zuko. I have no idea how the conversation with Zuko will go, but I am partly hopeful that he will listen to me, at least partly. However, I don't broach the subject until well into training, when Zuko has successfully landed a few hits on me.

We take a water break, and my mind whirls at the unsaid answer to my question. "Zuko, I have a question."

"Ask." He waves his hand at me, back turned, gulping down water.

There is a thick lump in my throat, and it is difficult to swallow around. "Iroh and I both believe that all of the elements are connected to each other. You were there for one of our conversations about it."

"Yeah, without air, there is no fire. Without water, no plentiful earth."

"Well. Without air, there is no fire," I agree. "Can we combine techniques?"

"What?" Zuko turns at my question, confusion written across his face.

"Can we combine your movements, your aggressiveness, with the evasiveness that is essential to airbending? I know Aang doesn't know firebending yet, but I think it is vital to look at everything around us. He will eventually learn firebending. When he does, he will be combining the naturalness of airbending to firebending techniques. You know a lot about basic airbending. I've taught you all the parts about circling, and about turning your opponent's energy against them. Why can't you combine that aggressiveness that is so essential to, well," - I gesture at him, sweat beading on his arms and chest despite the coldness - "the entirety of you?"

Zuko is quiet for a very long time. I take a deep breath, coming to terms with his denial. I didn't mention me at all, my desire to develop the area I'm lacking. Airbending relies heavily on defense, on finding the area of least resistance. I've lectured Zuko on this dozens of times. Is the path of least resistance me being taught firebending? On broadening my horizons and avoiding becoming "stale" like Iroh stated.

"Firebending isn't that different from airbending," Zuko says, looking at me finally. My breath leaves me, not expecting him to accept. "Power comes from the breath." I nod. "You already know how to feel the air around you, but do you feel the sun too?"

Hidden by the cold, by the clouds, by the breeze, there is some warmth from the sun. It fuels life as much as any other element. Without the sun, there would be no life. I say as much to Zuko, and he makes a noncommittal noise.

"You always attack when I do. You turn my attacks against me, only seeking an opportunity to strike when I make mine. There is no initiative in your movements, only opportunity. Firebending is about creating your own opportunities by attacking. There may not be a weakness apparent in your opponent. However, when you strike, you are creating an opportunity.

"Watch."

We move into our positions. Instead of being aware of Zuko copying my own movements, I focus on Zuko's own movements. Focusing on learning rather than teaching. He abandons the circle technique, relying on his most ingrained movements of attack, attack, attack. It is only possible for me to dodge some of them, as Zuko is now anticipating where I will be based on what I've taught him.

Despite the beating I take, I smile. Zuko is already combining airbending and firebending by knowing where I will go, where he creates the least resistance. There is little fire involved, as he is focusing on simply showing me the aggressive nature of firebending. The moves he would make, the places where fire would accompany him.

At the end, I sit down roughly on the deck. I am out of breath. "Were you holding out on me?"

"When?" he asks, accepting a rag from a soldier.

"Every practice."

"Oh, no. I was merely knowing that you would move one way, anticipating my moves to reverse them. I was trying not to stay rooted in one area, moving my root to my core, like you taught me."

"Yeah, you've been learning."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Well, I'm no Avatar. But if you utilize fire more with the techniques I've taught you, I'm sure you would stand a chance."

"I already stand a chance!"

I cringe inwardly. I've accidentally hit a soft spot. "I didn't mean it like that. Listen, I know this is important to you. Capturing Aang. Showing your father that you're worthy. But you have to look at the big picture."

"What's the big picture?" Zuko's tone has turned sour. I doubt anything I say will fix that.

"That you're learning. That you're absorbing something that wasn't taught to you from birth. That by blending airbending techniques with what you know firebending wise, you are stronger. You already think aggressively, but you're moving with your punches, circling the circle. I doubt Aang has fought any opponent like that yet. Right?"

He huffs something, walking away with the towel bunched in his hands. "It's almost time for music night, why don't you get ready?" Zuko shouts without turning around.

"Ugh!" I reply, flopping down on my back. I cover my face with my hands, aware that I might not have helped Zuko's mood. I wanted to say that he's not his father, that he had another path, but it all came out muddled. I don't want him to get better at bending. I want him to stop chasing Aang, to see the other path, the other way.

But it's all so useless!

Zuko does not join music night, which is not a surprise. I watch as Jee tunes his pipa. I play a few notes on my xun, waiting for the rest of the members to join. Iroh hands me the sheet of music, saying, "'Four Seasons' is one of my favorites. We'll be playing it later. It's a softer piece." I nod, looking over the sheet. My stack of pieces is growing, though I don't feel like I've mastered the xun.

Everyone settles down. Iroh hasn't brought his tsungi horn, so it looks like he'll be singing for most of the pieces. We go through a few songs that come from the Fire Nation, me fumbling along with everyone. Nobody glares at me. The dancers keep time with the drum. I feel very self-conscious until we get to "Four Seasons". Iroh and I have played it before together, when he was teaching me.

Halfway through the song, there are loud steps, like someone is walking in armor. All of us turn to see Zhao and a bunch of Fire Nation soldiers. "Good evening, General Iroh." He nods politely, but there is malice in his eyes, in his soul. I cringe inward, trying to hide, hoping he doesn't remember me.

"I carry some good news, for me, at least." Zhao embellishes his words, waving at the crew gathered on the ship for music night. "I am absorbing your crew into mine for an expedition up north."

I start forward, shocked but not entirely surprised.

"Yes, General, including your cook. I am extending that offer to anyone not formally on the Fire Nation's payroll." His eyes cut directly to me, and I try once again to shrink into my clothes. His eyes also cut to Iroh, who shakes his head.

"We must inform Prince Zuko immediately. Come, General," Iroh says. "Everyone else, please pack your belongings to join General Zhao's command. Zia, please follow us." He motions me forward, and I pocket the xun as I hurry to catch up with their long strides toward Zuko's room.

"General Iroh, I must insist that you join our expedition to the North Pole," Zhao says. "I believe you would be a much needed asset."

"I must decline. I cannot abandon my nephew."

"So be it. The offer is also extended to your concubine." He gestures behind himself to indict me. My steps falter. I open my mouth to object, to explain, but no good excuse comes out.

"She will also have to decline," Iroh says, not elaborating further. He neither confirms nor denies my position, but makes a small gesture with his hand to indicate we will discuss this further later. My stomach knots the closer we get to Zuko's room, as if each step spells my doom.