Despite our conversation outside, with Zuko, it seems nothing good can last. We depart with some leftovers, and the air is light due to Iroh and I's attempts at conversation. Zuko sulks, dwelling on his conversation with Song, no doubt.
We stand outside Song's home, the spring fireflies lighting up the night. It is beautiful, if a bit chilly. Iroh says, "Thank you for the duck. It was excellent."
Song's mother replies, "You're welcome. It brings me joy to see people eat my cooking with such. . . gusto."
Iroh pats his stomach. "Much practice."
I bow, hiding my laugh. "Thank you for your hospitality, as well as the tea herbs for our travels."
Zuko turns to leave, but doesn't get very far before Iroh says, "Junior, where are your manners? You need to thank these nice people."
Suko turns and bows slightly. "Thank you." He turns to leave again, but not before Song can speak up.
"I know you don't think there's any hope left in the world, but there is hope. The Avatar has returned."
Out of everything Song could have mentioned, she has touched upon the sore subject that Zuko has neglected to talk about since returning from the North Pole.
Zuko says, bitterly, "I know," and continues walking. Iroh and I follow behind him.
As we pass a small barn holding an ostrich horse, Zuko pauses. I am directly behind him, and I watch, dumbfounded, as he begins to untie the animal. We're less than 20 yards from the gate, and Zuko is being so bold as to steal an animal in front of the generosity of Song's family. I want to scold him, but Iroh beats me to it.
"What are you doing? These people just showed you great kindness." Without hesitation, Zuko mounts the ostrich horse.
"They're about to show us a little more kindness. Well?" Zuko asks, gesturing toward the ostrich horse. Iroh pauses for a moment before taking Zuko's hand. It takes me much longer, deliberating inside about the rights and wrongs of stealing. If I don't get on the ostrich horse, I will be left behind, here, in this village with generous people. In a place where I can flourish around plants and herbs and help people, just like Song.
But if I don't mount, I am left behind. And Zuko will lose his way. Well, what if he has already lost his path? What if this is wrong and I am doing something wrong with them?
I don't want to be left behind.
I grab Zuko's hand and mount the ostrich horse, between Zuko and Iroh, burning up with the rage inside me and the inner fire situated between me.
Unfortunately, the generosity of Song and her mother do not last. We travel from town to town, but are lucky to live off scraps and some edibles I am able to find. Zuko mopes the majority of the time, lamenting on our poverty.
We are alive, which I point out to him. However, it falls on deaf ears. He only sees what we have become, not what we have.
It escalates badly when we arrive in a rice paddy village and have to beg for money. I have had no luck finding edibles along the way, and I do not know how to create traps for animals to eat on. The three of us hole up in the hollow of a tree, discussing what to do next.
Iroh says, "We can beg for money. There is no wrong in asking for help when needed, and the people here can be more generous in other ways. They may not be able to spare a meal, or a bed, but they might be able to spare a coin."
I've never panhandled, or begged for money. Air Nomads were revered and often given shelter for their very presence in a village. Or there were more nomads more skilled in foraging than me, so I never had the opportunity to beg.
Zuko denies the idea but is outvoted.
We return back to the village, sitting around the main square against the ostrich horse. It is peaceful, since you can hear the flow of the river so close. Iroh holds out his hat, begging for money.
Every time some passes, Iroh asks, "Spare coins for weary travelers?" Surprisingly, a lot of people give us a few coins. Nobody heckles us or asks us to leave. I wonder about the state of refugees in the area. We are probably so far inland that they haven't migrated away from the colonies to here, or have diverted to Ba Sing Se.
Zuko does not find positivity in the situation like Iroh and I. We have amassed a decent amount of coins, enough to buy us provisions for the next few days.
"This is humiliating," Zuko says. "We're royalty. These people should be giving us whatever we want."
"They will if you ask nicely," Iroh says, looking at the passers-by. A beautiful lady in bright pink passes us. "Spare change for a hungry old man?"
She pulls a coin from her sleeve and adds it to our hat. "The coin is appreciated but not as much as your smile." The girl giggles and notices me. She smiles at me and briefly touches the flower in her hair, as if thinking about handing it to me. Instead, a man walks up to us before she can finish. She walks away.
"How about some entertainment in exchange for. . . a gold piece?" He is smiling pretty broadly, but there seems to be something mischievous behind his eyes. He pulls the gold coin out of his pocket, flipping it this way and that.
Zuko speaks up. "We're not performers."
"Not professional, anyway," Iroh says, standing aside. He starts singing, off key, "The Girls From Ba Sing Se". I pat a little bit of a beat on my leg, and Zuko glares at the two of us.
The man is not amused, however. "Come on, we're talking a gold piece here. Let's see some action." He pulls out his swords and starts swinging them at Iroh's feet, making him dance. I stand up quickly, grabbing my bo as I do so.
Iroh keeps singing, Zuko gets angry, and I point my bo at the man. He seems startled, but puts his swords up to fight. "There's nothing wrong with a fat man dancing for his dinner," he says, but does not back down. "Plus, what's a girl going to do with a stick?"
"Trust me, I can do a lot. Now beat it before you want a bruise on your legs to see what I can do," I say.
The man shrugs, keeps his gold piece, and walks away. He throws the coin back at us, despite my outburst, and Iroh says, "Such a kind man."
"Iroh, that man was going to cut your feet off if you didn't dance right."
Zuko is glaring at the man's back, and I can feel the heat simmering off him. I sit back down, putting my bo behind us. I shouldn't have done that, but my anger seems to be getting the better of me lately. It must be Zuko's hotheadedness rubbing off on me.
Later that day, after begging and getting enough money for food provisions, Zuko and I circle each other, each of us pretending to be the other. He circles me while I move forward, attempting to hit him with my fists. He's gotten better at the circle technique, dodging some of my moves as I stand strong and stab at him.
I don't tell him I don't know why he's still trying. That it's unlikely that we would run into Aang again. That all hope of him returning to the Fire Nation is lost.
I don't tell him that because I see he still holds the hope of Aang close to his chest.
Instead, I sweep at his legs while he circles too close to me.
He drops heavily and grunts at me.
Iroh smiles at us both. "You're both improving greatly. Though, Zia, you should be reminded that the power of fire comes from the breath. You're tensing up when you should be able to relax at will." He pauses, looking into the pot of stew in front of him. "Now, I want each of you to do hot squats until the stew is brought to a boil."
Zuko groans, and I follow his form in these hot squats. Iroh and Zuko have taken it upon themselves to train me in firebending. That is, the exercises they do to invoke the element of fire within them, the way they feel the sun beating against their backs, the way that the sun fuels them.
It's different from what I'm used to. No free movements or dancing away from an opponent. I am to stand strong in each of my movements and to hit effectively and brutally. Zuko doesn't know it, but soon we will be combining our movements, blending them into breath control and circling, dancing around but striking with force, able to dodge but also use our own strength against each other.
After dinner, we sleep. I awake to Zuko returning in his black clothing, swords strapped to his back and a pack across his shoulders. I don't move, but I watch Zuko from partly closed eyes, wondering where he went and what his intentions are.
Our training continues, but I don't have to wait long to find out what Zuko's intentions are. In the next village over, we find refuge in an old ruin that I explore. There is an old area, possibly a former home, that's roof juts out and provides protection from the rain. Here, Iroh, Zuko, and I set up camp.
Tomorrow, we plan to go out begging again. Instead, I go off to explore, Zuko goes off to the village, and Iroh begins working on dinner.
I feel like I'm searching the old sections of the temples again, looking for old statues of Air Nomads or Avatars. I balance along a low stone wall, meant to keep certain animals out or to mark territory. I am not finding it so difficult to be alone anymore. I have Iroh and Zuko, who I am both beginning to understand a deeper side of. Why they are the way they are, what they hope to achieve.
Iroh wants to drink tea for the rest of his life. Whether he does that in his own tea shop or out in the wilderness doesn't matter to him. Zuko wants to capture the Avatar, but there is something much deeper within him. Some hope that his father will love him again, that he will be worthwhile in his father's eyes, that his sister won't hate him for being weak.
I don't tell Zuko that those things don't matter. Because, they don't. He needs to discover that the only person's whose feelings he should care about are his own. That he should love himself, anger and all. Well, I can do less with the anger at the world. There are a lot of bad things out in the world, and we have each other. Iroh, Zuko, and I.
We're not so alone in this world anymore.
I return shortly after to the camp. Zuko arrives a little after, carrying two baskets filled with food. We don't have any money, so I have no idea how he found that.
Turns out, he didn't find anything. Charity or money.
Zuko throws the baskets into Iroh's lap. The two of us stare at the baskets, filled with pastries and a gourd. Iroh is the first to speak. "Where did you get these?"
Zuko turns away, angry. "What does it matter where they came from?"
Iroh takes a bite out of one of the pastries and is in delight at the flavors. He offers me one, but I stand up to follow Zuko. "No, thank you. I don't want any. I'll wait for dinner."
By the time I reach the edge of the clearing, Zuko is gone.