I'm not proud of it, but I begin to spy on Zuko. He doesn't notice it, though he is wary of his surroundings. I think he's worried Iroh will catch him in the act, as if Iroh is a conduit for his father, disapproving and banishing, all wrapped into the soul of a gentle old man. Because of this, he doesn't notice the wiry thin person hiding in the bushes across from his ambush spot.

He is good at this, at hiding in the shadows. I wonder where he picked up this tactic, of blending into his surroundings, watching and waiting. It doesn't seem to fall under the curriculum of typical firebending training, but he is very adept with his dao.

I catch an edge of his blue mask in a tree above a wagon path. He hasn't moved in ages, and I know that he is doing the same thing as me. Waiting.

I hear the clatter of an ostrich horse drawn wagon. It is metal and wood, with a cart behind the main wagon carrying cargo or belongings. The ostrich horse is partly armored, but there are no guards. A single green lantern hangs over the driver.

It takes a lot for me to watch Zuko drop down from the tree over the wagon, kick the driver down from the perch, slice the struts holding the ostrich horse to the wagon, then slice open the ceiling of the wagon. He does this with precision and quickness. The driver is knocked out from the fall, unable to protect the person within.

Zuko brandishes his swords, slicing back and forth but not drawing any blood. He grasps a box within the wagon, then returns to the trees, quickly disappearing within them. I rush across the path, as quick and quiet as a lizard mouse. I see the blue of his mask, the glint of his swords, the faint tinkling of gold within the box that he stole.

The fury within me fuels me to follow him, climbing quickly into the trees. I would have been quicker if I could still airbend, if I could still guide the wind to let me basically walk on air. The silent chase goes on for a few minutes before Zuko slows and approaches an area near the ruins that we are living in. He drops down, removing his mask and stowing away his swords.

It is during this moment of vulnerability, of not checking his surroundings, that I jump down from the trees, landing on him so that his back is flat against the roots of the thick trees around us, my legs pressed down on him. It is by far not a graceful fall and is my first time trying to take down someone like this. I am taking on the abrasiveness of firebending, of standing strong and using my own strength to aid me.

"What in the spirits's name are you doing?" I basically yell, putting my full weight against Zuko as he struggles to push me off. I do not weigh more than him, but my anger is pushing me down, and I landed on his chest, pushing the wind out of him. "You just stole! Again! How does stealing have anything to do with honor? Don't they teach you what honorable acts are?!"

I am fuming, and my rage climbs as Zuko struggles to get his breath. He grabs at my ankles, makes a futile attempt to push me off. But, I caught him by surprise and I have the advantage. Finally, he leans back in defeat. "Get. Off," he mutters, breath shallow and forced, like he is fighting down his own rage.

Slowly, I lift myself off him, but I make no effort to help him up. He sits up, but doesn't stand yet. I stand above him, looking down, waiting for him to answer. My eyes are piercing daggers into his soul, and Zuko knows he is caught red handed.

"There is no honor to me without the Avatar," Zuko finally says. He is avoiding my eyes.

"And where is Aang now?" I ask, gesturing around to the trees. "We haven't seen him since the North Pole. You are a fugitive in both the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. In what world would capturing Aang solve any of your issues? You must find hope and honor in other places. Look at me; I haven't airbended in over a season, but do I give up hope? No. You must push through in times like this, in times of trouble and hardship. If you give up hope, you're basically giving up living."

"By giving up trying to capture the Avatar, I am giving up hope! You are asking me to give up hope-by giving up on my life's mission!"

"You need to find hope and acceptance inwardly. Nobody else, not even your father, can give you that. You must find acceptance within, or you will always be Agni bent on finding it elsewhere."

"You don't know anything about me!" Zuko is yelling now, and I imagine Iroh can hear our heated conversation.

I take a deep breath, knowing that yelling and arguing will not get us anywhere. "Zuko. Please. Listen. I am trying to help you find the right path, and stealing isn't on that path."

"My path is not yours to make," he says, finally standing up. "I'm done with this conversation." Zuko storms away, carrying the box of coins underneath his arm. He is walking away from the camp, toward town, and I desperately want to follow him. However, I respect his boundaries (in this matter, at least) and return to Iroh back at camp.

I share my findings with Iroh over a cup of tea, and he simply nods back at me. "He is right," Iroh finally says. I open my mouth to argue, but Iroh holds up a hand. "His path is not yours to forge. It is a delicate process, making sure he makes the right choices. I have been struggling with it since he was very young. It is not our place to make him make the right choices, but for him to see the good and evil in each situation; which path will lead him to righteousness and which to doom."

"So, we just have to sit back and do nothing?" I ask.

"I thought monks were good at reaching stillness with meditation. This can't be much different than that."

"Well, I never reached master level," I say dismissively. I have strayed. I know this. I am a completely different person than the person that entered that ice, and I imagine Aang is quite different as well. "I am different. I should no longer be considered an Air Nomad. I have eaten meat, I have stolen, I have lost my airbending. I am different, a drifter."

"But, isn't that what you were before? A drifter, going between villages? Reading fortunes and painting? What's so different now?"

I pause, thinking about this. I have lost the ways of the Air Nomads. If I was a part of the temples, they would exile me, banish me. They were very strong believers in their principles. I do not share this with Iroh, as there is no one else to enforce these rules. There are two of us left, and Aang has other things to worry about.

"Everything feels different," I say, not knowing how to start. "I feel different."

"Change is never bad. Being different isn't bad, as you are still yourself, somewhere in there. The Water Tribe instills this in their bending, their community, and how they adapt to change. We are all the elements, strength and power, change and freedom. You must look at what has happened to you as something good, or you will only dwell on the bad, the negative, and be trapped within yourself, unable to help anyone, not even yourself."

I have nothing to say to this. We sit in silence. I contemplate all that he has said, work it around in my head until it makes some sort of sense.

Iroh is right. We are all the elements, and it is not my place to direct Zuko, only to offer a guiding hand in the form of freedom. However, how can I do that when I don't even feel free myself anymore? I feel trapped, caught in a spidermonkey's web, looking for something I've lost, some part of myself that isn't here anymore.

I should be looking at what I have-those around me, the training and fulfillment I am receiving from it. Not about looking inward, toward Zuko. Iroh is right; he always is. Zuko's path is not mine to forge; it is only one that I need to offer a helping hand with.

Iroh leaves sometime before sunset, and I take a small nap within the ruins. When I wake, Zuko has returned, cluttering the small cave we're in with different goods. Barrels of food and rice, a roasted deer-pig, a new tea set, and many other items. I sit up, groggily, and notice Zuko lounging comfortably in front of the fire.

Before I can question all the new items in the cave, Iroh returns. "Looks like you did some serious shopping," Iroh comments, sitting down and examining the new tea set. It is gold, inlaid with jewels. "But where did you get the money?"

Maybe Zuko knows that Iroh is testing him, that Iroh knows I told him about Zuko's stealing habits. Zuko leans back, dismissing the comment. "Do you like your new teapot?" He plays with a chain in his hand, anxious about Iroh's approval. He glances toward me, as if he wants to say something to me as well, but holds back.

"To be honest with you," Iroh starts, putting the pot down, "the best tea tastes delicious whether it comes in a porcelain pot or a tin cup." Iroh stands up and walks toward Zuko, squatting down next to him. "I know we've had some difficult times lately. We've had to struggle just to get by." Iroh places his hand on Zuko's shoulder. I feel like I'm intruding on another intimate moment between the two of them, as Zuko closes his eyes, holding back the truth. "But it's nothing to be ashamed of. There is simple honor in poverty."

I grimace, thinking that Iroh has said the wrong thing, bringing out Zuko's honor just like I did earlier in the day.

"There's no honor for me without the Avatar."

"Zuko. . ." Iroh sighs. "Even if you did capture the Avatar, I'm not so sure it would solve our problems. Not now." Iroh is going toward the logical side of the argument, like I did.

"Then there is no hope at all," Zuko says, turning to leave the cave. Iroh forces him down to sit.

"No, Zuko! You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength."

Without another word, Zuko storms out of the cave.

In the silence that is filled with only the crackling of the fire, I mutter, "I tried saying that same thing to him, Iroh. I don't know that he's willing to listen anymore."

"Here, help me move this pig into the fire. We can't let this food go to waste." Iroh shrugs himself upward, and we push the pig closer to the fire. I want to say more; I want Iroh to say more. However, we work in silence until Zuko eventually returns.

"Uncle," Zuko starts. He is still fidgeting with the chain. "I thought a lot about what you and Zia said."

This surprises me, and I jerk my head up to look at him. Iroh's back is turned to Zuko, but he says, "You did? Good, good."

"It's helped me realize something," Zuko continues. "We no longer have anything to gain by traveling together. I need to find my own way."

Iroh doesn't say anything, but I follow Zuko into the woods. I can only think, over and over again, that this is my fault. That Zuko is leaving because I forced him to choose a better path, and forced Iroh to take a stand against stealing.

He can't leave. He knows nothing about living alone in the wild.

I catch up to him at the tree where I ambushed him earlier. He is packing a small bag with provisions, a blanket. I catch the silver glint of the chain from earlier still in his fist.

"Zuko," I say, pressing my hand against the tree. "You can't leave. What if you eat the wrong plant like Iroh? Or get injured and can't stitch yourself back up? What if-" Oh, I think, I don't want Zuko to leave. He has a small piece of my heart, my devotion, my hope. I stop myself.

Zuko stands, looking fiercely at me. "I'm sorry," I say. "I'll let you finish packing. I can't choose your path for you, just like you said to Iroh."

I start to walk away, but Zuko grabs at my wrist, pulling me back. His hand is hot, fierce like his eyes, boring into me. "Here," he says, holding out the chain for me to grab. "I bought this for you."

I start to say, "I don't want anything with your stolen money" but know that that is not the right thing for me to say to him. "Oh, thank you," I say instead, accepting the chain. He drops it into my hand, and it pools into my palm.

It isn't just a chain but a necklace. The metal is warm from being in Zuko's fist for so long, but it is a pendant of a dove in flight. Traditionally, a dove symbolizes peace, freedom. My heart catches in my throat. I am not free. I am not at peace.

I don't say that. Instead, I say, "Thank you. It is really pretty." It's plain, which is fine with me. No flashing jewels, no colorful beads. Just a dove, in flight, flying toward freedom. "I'll, um, I'll let you finish packing." I turn, beginning to leave. But his hand is still on my wrist.

"Wait," Zuko says, pulling me back toward him. His face is so close to mine, I can see the details of his scar up close. The way it edges into his newly grown hair, permanently balding that spot. The way it looks so much like a hand, it's frightening. The different shades of burnt, the darker section around his eye. Can he ever see clearly out of it?

I put my hand to caress it. The skin is rough. He flinches, just momentarily. He leans into my hand, just slightly. He moves his hand from my wrist to my hip, pulling me closer to him. I haven't been this close to Zuko outside training since the night I learned his father burned him.

I swallow passed the lump in my throat. I move my hand to rest at the base of his neck. We move together, eyes closing, and Zuko kisses me. Hot, fierce, but with a gentleness underneath. My heart flutters, and I pull him closer, trying to get the most out of this.

We pull away, and I find it hard to catch my breath. We stand close to one another for a few minutes, not saying anything. I want to kiss him some more, to press closer to his hot body. But I keep myself from doing so.

Zuko's leaving, and I can't go with him.

I step back, away from him. "Thank you, for the necklace. I-I'm sorry. I can't go with you. This is your journey, now." I turn away from him, mind still on kissing him. I turn away, and I walk back to camp, putting the necklace on and latching it into place. It still holds part of the fire from Zuko's hands.

I don't want him to go, but I understand now that he cannot stay with us. That I will only interfere with his journey.

I return back to Iroh, saying, "Zuko's packing. He's almost ready to leave."

Iroh shoots to his feet. "I wanted to give him something before he leaves! Come, help me saddle the ostrich horse."

Quickly, we throw a blanket and saddle over the ostrich horse's back, tying the reins on. It will be a longer journey walking on foot, but I see where Iroh's kindness lies.

We catch up to Zuko in a clearing, his back to us. Iroh shouts, "Wait!" He is out of breath. He brings the ostrich horse forward, leading him toward Zuko. Zuko takes the animal without comment. I stand back, observing from afar. Zuko mounts the ostrich horse, and does not say a word to Iroh and I as he leaves.

Both Iroh and I are heartbroken, though in different ways. I go up to Iroh, placing a hand on his shoulder, and say, "Come on, we should eat before the pig gets burnt."

With sadness on our hearts and minds, Iroh and I eat in silence.