Blitzø walks into the I.M.P office, and sees Loona, on her phone, with her cheek rested on her hand. The goth hellhound looks over at him and raises an eyebrow. "Oh, great. Another FUCKING client..." she swears in front of her boss again.
The imp, not wanting a repeat of what happened that one time Loona mauled him after he gave her constructive criticism, says "No offense but please don't say that every single time we come in, my adopted hellhound daughter."
Loona says "Whatever. What do these assholes want now?", turning her attention to her boss.
"Well I just had been gifted a passport, Moxxie has been given one, same with the Jellyhead, and so do you. Since you are afraid as fuck of injections, especially for Hellbies, I'm not sure if you will be afraid of the idea of flying on a plane, since none of us have been on those flying fuckers. None of us know about riding one either so allow me to make a euphemism; F-L-Y-I-N-G." Blitzø replies.
"I've been alive for, like, 19 years, and you think I don't know what "flying" means?" Loona deadpans, "I ain't stupid, Blitzø."
Blitzø, not quite getting her age right by a year or two, says "21 years, actually, and by F-L-Y-I-N-G, I mean flying on those skybirds that crash all the time, given that we have not rode any of this aerial shit, including you. I'm giving you this warning since you are fucking afraid of shots. And it's not a choice either."
Loona raises an eyebrow and scoffs, "Fine, I'll get on your stupid airplane. Whatever. I'm going to the Loo Lounge. Don't need to babysit me anymore." the hellhound says as she starts strutting out the main door of the office complex.
However, Millie says "Loo Lounge?", with Moxxie saying "Loo Lounge", and Blitzø finishes off with "Loo looouuunge!"
Rather than telling them to shut up like she did last time with Loo Loo Land, Loona rolls her eyes while turning around and flipping them off, saying "Have fun on your dumbass trip, you guys. Whatever." as she exits the IMP office building and heads to the Loo Lounge, only for Millie to grab her tail.
"What's a Loo Lounge?" Millie asks.
"It's where hellhounds spend their free time... I kinda spend most of mine there... why?" Loona groans, annoyed that she's been grabbed by the tail.
"This isn't a choice, Loona. You have your passport and you will be fucked if you miss this flight. Our booked flight is Imperial Airloins Floight 195." Blitzø says.
"Oh, come on. Why did you tell me to pack a toothbrush if I don't even have a choice in the matter?! Whatever. Let's just get this over with." Loona scoffs.
"Because your breath is not too pleasant, always having a strong, meaty smell to it." Blitzø answers.
"You're just upset that I have better teeth than you, Blitzy." Loona scoffs again, annoyed at the comment on her oral hygiene.
"It's natural for hellhounds. Us Imps don't have bad breath." Blitzø says, ignoring the fact that Loona just referred to him as "Blitzy", a name Stolas usually refers to him as.
Loona rolls her eyes, getting angrier with each minute wasted and says "Don't make me start listing off all of your flaws, boss. I got a whole notebook full of them."
Blitzø just gets on the I.M.P van with Millie and Moxxie already in it. He leaves the door open for the hellhound to come in, regardless of the fact that she might be afraid of flying.
"Come on, Toonie! We're going to be raped if we miss this flight!" he says.
Loona huffs, crossing her arms in an irritated manner as she strides over and gets inside the van, this time sitting in the back rather than the front. She seems slightly annoyed but willing to go along with Blitzø's plan and says "Fine, fine! Let's get this whole trip over with!"
With that being said, Blitzø speeds his van to the Bloody Hell Airfield, the closest airport to the I.M.P headquarters. As he speeds along, Loona sits in silence in the back, looking around with a slightly concerned expression on her face. She is clearly nervous about the prospect of flying on an airliner for the first time, but she tries to keep a stoic demeanor and hide her fear.
"She's gonna make that adorable big eyed scared stare face when we drive her to get her S.H.O.T." Millie says, recalling that one time Blitzø dropped her off at the hospital for her Hellbies shot.
Loona's ears twitch slightly at the mention of a shot, and she turns her head towards Millie, her expression becoming even more stoic and defensive.
"Hey! Don't remind me! I already know what's going to happen, so can we just not talk about it? Please?" the hellhound pleads.
As soon as they are in the terminal, Blitzø says to himself "This is like mix between a teenager or a dog being forced to go on a P.L.A.N.E F.L.I.G.H.T for the first time."
Loona rolls her eyes at Blitzø's comment and mutters under her breath "Oh, great. Another trip where I'm the punchline. Thanks, boss." as they make their way through the terminal. Soon, they reach the luggage check, where a toad like agent puts the luggage through the X-ray scanner. "Hand me yo pattpoats. Aww of you." he says in broken English.
Loona pulls out her passport and reluctantly hands it to the guard, her expression still a mixture of annoyance and boredom. "Here you go, mate. Can we get on the plan already? Sheesh." the hellhound says.
"Rewat oh we wiww taww the powite." the agent says and Loona raises an eyebrow, confused by the his broken speech. She exchanges a perplexed glance with Blitzø before replying back in a sarcastic tone, "Whatever you say, mate. Just let us onto the plane already, we ain't got all day!"
"Hoad on. The X-way is not done stanning yo lujjije." the guard says.
"Seriously, man? What's taking so long? I swear to Satan, if this X-ray thing takes any longer, I think I might just explode." Loona groans, losing her patience with the guard.
"Patient." the guard says, narrowing his eyes.
Loona rolls her eyes, folding her arms across her chest in exasperation and annoyance. "Oh, wowww, "patient". So original. I can hardly contain my excitement over standing here with my arms at my sides for another two minutes..." she says in the most sarcastic and monotonous voice ever.
After all that, the guard goes ribbit, suggesting they are ready. Bloody Hell airport is empty, given that there is little air traffic in Hell, it takes 5 minutes for an orange-blue-green airliner, writing "IMPERIAL AIRLOIN$" on its side to show up. As they make their way through the empty airport, Loona can't help but notice the unusual emptiness of the place. She looks around, taking in the surroundings before her eyes land on the small "IMPERIAL AIRLOIN$" plane that has just landed. Although she appears nonchalant on the outside, Loona can't shake off a feeling of unease as the plane approaches.
Blitzø, pointing at the jet bridge that connects from the airport to the plane, says "I think we're going to go through the penis that feeds the P.L.A.N.E its cumming travellers."
Loona's red eyes widen at her boss' comment, and she turns to look at him with a mixture of confusion and disgust.
"Excuse me, what?" she asks.
"You know us, hypocrite." Blitzø responds.
Loona groans, shaking her head in disbelief at Blitzø's words. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's just get this over with." she says as she begins to make her way down the jet bridge, still feeling uneasy about the upcoming flight.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Blitzø says since the hellhound went in before any of the other employees could enter.
Loona stops in her tracks, turning to look at Blitzø with a mixture of annoyance and confusion on her face. "What is it now, boss? We're already on the walky tunnel thing." she says.
"Wait for us first." Blitzø says as he waits for Moxxie and Millie to catch up, "Now we can go."
As soon as they enter the plane, it has only a few seats, suggesting that this is a trip for something important. Loona looks around the small plane, taking in the limited seating, and her heart starts to race. She tries to hide her growing anxiety by focusing on other details, such as the small size of the plane, but she can't shake off the feeling of being trapped in such a small space with no escape hatch.
"Um, hey boss? Is it just me or does this plane seem... really tiny?"
"This is a business J.E.T A.I.R.L.I.N.E.R owned by Mammon." Blitzø answers.
Loona raises an eyebrow and casts a skeptical glance at Blitzø. "Mammon? As in the "Greed" Sin? Isn't that the same guy who owns that ridiculous ring that lets sinners become overlords? What kind of business does he have owning an airplane anyway?" she says.
"Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money Money!" Blitzø Buckzo responds.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it already! Mammon's got dollar bills galore and he wants more! Jeez, Blitzø, could you be any more obsessed with money?" Loona says, rolling her eyes.
"Stop talking and wait." Blitzø says and Loona rolls her eyes and crosses her arms in annoyance.
"Fine, fine. Whatever you say, boss." Loona replies and keeps silent but can't help but feel tense and nervous about the upcoming flight, tapping her feet impatiently. It takes a total of 16 minutes for the airliner to start both of its engines up, which is preposterous, given Hell's limited air fleet.
Loona's anxiety grows as she watches the plane prepare for takeoff. She clenches her fists and tries to focus on her breathing, attempting to remain calm and collected, though her ears are pinned back in fear. "Oh, God. Please don't make this a rough flight..." she says.
However, it is not even close to takeoff, as the seatbelt warning sign keeps beeping. Unlike Blitzø's van, passengers must wear seatbelts in this plane, which is not half ready and Loona looks around, noticing the seatbelt beep and feeling even more frustrated. She turns to Blitzø and groans.
"Seriously, Blitzø? You didn't tell me we'd have to wear seatbelts for this ride. I hate wearing these stupid things!" Loona complains before Millie, who is sitting behind Loona, uses a magnet on a stick to safely put the hellhound's seatbelt on. She jumps slightly at the feeling of her seatbelt being latched onto her, and turns to look at Millie with mild surprise in her eyes.
"Whoa! What the hell? Did you just magnetize my seatbelt on?!" Loona says.
"Yeah!" Millie replies, the sass evident in her voice.
Loona huffs, crossing her arms and muttering under her breath, "Jeez, give a hellhound a heads-up next time, will ya? Don't just go magnetizing my stuff without warning!"
However, as soon as the plane moves to the main runway, it has to stop to make way for a smaller and slower plane to land. The brakes are pressed rather hard. Loona braces herself as the plane comes to a sudden stop, her pulse quickening at the unexpected jolt.
"Woah! Why are we stopping? Is this normal?" Loona asks.
"A little P.L.A.N.E has to land first, and for safety reasons, if you get aggressive, we'll have to put you in its empty cargo bay." Blitzø warns.
Loona looks at Blitzø with a mix of annoyance and disbelief before saying "Seriously? You think a few minutes of waiting is going to make me aggressive? Just get this plane moving already, I'm feeling kinda twitchy in here!"
"Patience! I can't tell Mammon, the fucking pilot to hurry his fat ass up!" Blitzø says.
"Fine. Then at least give me something to do to pass the time. I'm freakin' bored just sitting here. Got any ideas, Blitzy?" Loona huffs, crossing her arms right before the plane starts to move to the runway with a loud, whale like note coming from its geared turbine engines.
As the plane starts moving, Loona can't help but feel a sense of anxiety building up inside her. The loud engines and the sudden movement make her feel nauseous. "Oh God. This is it. We're really taking off. I hope this thing is as sturdy as it looks." she says.
"That's not T.A.K.E.O.F.F. That's P.A.R.K.I.N.G, Toonie." Blitzø corrects.
"Seriously? Are you kidding me right now?! First, you forget to tell me about the seatbelts, and now you can't even tell the difference between take-off and parking?! Can you do anything right?" Loona groans, feeling even more irritated at Blitzø.
"We haven't been in this flying shit because Hell has almost none of these!" Blitzø says.
"Right. Of course. Because why would hell need any kind of aviation industry, right? I mean, who needs to get around efficiently when you can just teleport or open portals everywhere? Brilliant logic, Blitzø." Loona sighs, facepalming.
As soon, the plane parks to the runway, Blitzø says "That's the spot. On T.A.K.E.O.F.F, it will start to go much faster and then boom, we're up."
"Oh, great. Sounds thrilling. Can't wait to experience the full force of gravity being slammed against my body at who knows how many miles per hour. Awesome." Loona says in the same sarcastic deadpan tone she used at the airport with the guard. She shifts around, trying to find a comfortable seating position, but it's impossible. She groans, her frustration mounting.
"Seriously? Why are these seats so damn uncomfortable? It's like they were designed for torture, not transportation." Loona complains.
To kick her when she's down, before the plane can even rev up, the engine on Loona's side shoots a flame with an audible bang, suggesting it is contaminated and she jolts in her seat, her heart racing as the engine on her side shoots a small flame. She grips the armrests tightly, her eyes widening in fear.
"What the hell was THAT?! Please tell me that's a normal thing and not like some kind of sign of impending doom!" she shouts. It takes another 16 minutes to get the plane to work again.
Loona's anxiety and impatience are at an all-time high. She taps her feet rapidly on the floor, her leg bouncing up and down as she struggles to contain her frustration.
"Seriously? What is taking so long? Are they trying to torture us or something? This is insane!" she says before Blitzø shushes.
"Jeez, okay, fine. But this is getting ridiculous. When are we actually going to take off? It's like this plane is having an identity crisis or something." Loona huffs, rolling her eyes before the airliner starts to take off, making that whale noise again as it transitions to full power, accelerating rapidly.
Loona tightens her grip on the armrests as the plane accelerates, her heart racing with adrenaline and unease. The roar of the engines is louder than she anticipated, and the plane shakes as it lifts off the ground. "Holy crap! Here we go." she says.
Millie, sitting directly behind Loona, says "Dem Sky whale!"
Loona can't help but feel a mix of fear and confusion at Millie's comment, but she remains focused on the takeoff.
"Damn it. Don't remind me that we're flying in a giant metal sky whale right now. Just let me pretend that this is normal air travel." the hellhound replies.
"You are acting surprisingly courageous." Blitzø assumes.
"Are you kidding? My heart's pumping so fast it feels like it might burst out of my chest! This is far from being courageous. I'm just trying not to scream my head off right now." Loona scoffs, trying to maintain her composure despite her fear.
"Listen, Toonie, you have to fear fear itself, which means you show us that you are afraid." Blitzø says and Loona rolls her eyes, feeling a mixture of annoyance and frustration.
"Fine. Fine! You want me to show you that I'm scared? Well, I'm freaking terrified right now! Happy?" Loona shouts as the plane is already flying so high now that if anyone fell from it, they would die instantly from the fall and Loona looks out the small window next to her seat, her eyes widening as she realizes how high up they are. Her heartbeat skyrockets, and her breath becomes shallow.
"Oh God. We're really fricking high up right now, aren't we?" she says, Soon, as the plane reaches 41,000 feet high, Loona presses her head back against the seat, her eyes squeezed shut as she tries to maintain her composure.
"Okay. Breathe, Loona. Just breathe. It's okay. We're okay. We're just, you know... Flying miles and miles above the ground in a giant death trap. No big deal or anything." the hellhound says before Blitzø's voice starts ringing in her head, telling her that she has to fear her fear itself, which means that she'll stop hiding her emotions and Loona sighs, forcing herself to open her eyes and meet Blitzø's gaze.
"Seriously, Blitzø? Now you want me to face my fears or whatever? You really pick the worst possible moments for motivational speeches, y'know? But fine. Let me just scream my head off for a moment here." Loona says, before taking a deep breath in and lets out a loud scream that echoes throughout the cabin, causing Moxxie and Millie to jump in surprise.
"Happy now?" she says.
"Unfortunately, I cannot really support you as I am on the other side of it." Blitzø says.
"Figures. So much for that "support" you preached about earlier. At least you're consistent, Blitzy." Loona says, trying to catch her breath and recover from her scream before the plane does a 90 degree roll.
Loona's heart sinks as the plane suddenly rolls to the side. She grips the armrests tightly and says "Oh no. Oh no no no no. Don't do this to me. Please don't do this...", while clamping her eyes shut and tensing up as the plane continues to turn. She takes deep, ragged breaths, her heart racing as the plane continues its unexpected roll.
"Jesus. This is it. This is how I die. Strapped to a seat that's not even comfortable, while some crazy Mammon pilot goes joyriding in the sky. Oh, the irony..." Loona says before the plane pitches up steeply.
As the plane pitches upwards, Loona feels her stomach lurch in her chest, a nauseous sensation overtaking her.
"Oh God. I think I'm gonna..."
The hellhound quickly grabs an airsickness bag from the back of the seat in front of her, just in case as the plane does another roll while ascending. Loona grips her airsickness bag tightly, praying for the movement to end. However, her wish is not granted, as the plane continues to roll and pitch in the air.
"Is there no limit to this pilot's recklessness?! I swear, if we make it out of this alive, I'm reporting his ass to the authorities!" Loona thunders.
Blitzø tries to say something, but throws up before he can finish his sentence and Loona's eyes snap open at the sound of Blitzø's vomiting, a mixture of disgust and annoyance on her face.
"Oh no. Oh no no no. Don't you dare puke in here! Are you trying to kill me?" Loona says before the plane stalls and descends aggressively. Her red eyes widen as the plane suddenly begins to descend, her body feeling weightless for a moment before the full force of gravity slams into her once again.
"Oh God! Oh God! We're stalling! We're going down! Is it too late to pray now?!" she panics as the plane does some 90 degree rolls at the same time and breaks the sound barrier.
Loona screams in terror as the plane goes into a series of rolls, her body thrown violently against the straps of her seat belt. "Oh no...This is it. This is the end." the hellhound says before she braces herself for impact, but then the plane suddenly evens out, the engine sound increasing again as it stabilises and ascends once more.
"Oh thank Satan! We're not dead yet!" Loona says as her heart slams against her chest after the plane just barely avoided crashing into the ground. She lets out a shaky breath, her hands trembling as she grips the armrests.
"Jesus Christ. I've never been so close to death in my entire life. That was... horrifying" she says before the plane does some more rolls while ascending.
Loona grits her teeth as the plane once again goes into a series of rolls, the force pressing her against her seat.
"This Mammon bastard better be earning those bucks! Because he's putting us through a damn rollercoaster ride up here!" Loona grumbles before a random strawberry cream pie flies straight onto her face, covering her with its sticky cream, "What the f...?!"
She reaches up and tries to wipe the goo off her face, cursing under her breath, "Who threw that?! Was that you, Blitzy?"
Before Blitzø can reply, Mammon teleports back to the cabin with a "cha-ching" sound, laughing mockingly at Loona's misfortune as he was the culprit.
"Oh, you think this is funny, do you? Is harassing passengers part of your job description now? Damn it, Mammon! Look at this mess! How am I supposed to get this crap off of me?" Loona thunders before Mammon teleports to the cockpit and does the same stall again, this time, heading for a volcano without intending on hitting it.
Loona's eyes widen in shock as Mammon once again brings the plane down towards the ground, this time heading straight for a nearby volcano.
"Oh no. Oh no no no no. This can't be happening. Mammon has completely lost it! We're gonna crash into a volcano! Somebody stop him!" she cries out. Right before it can collide, it ascends, flying so close to the volcano that it looks more like slithering up the volcano than flying up it as Loona grips the armrests tightly as the plane flies up the side of the volcano, still shouting until it flies away from the volcano.
Loona sighs with relief as the plane finally flies away from the volcano, her heart racing and her body shuddering with terror. "Okay, okay. We're okay. We survived. That was WAY too close." the hellhound says before she glances over at Mammon, her eyes narrowing with anger, "Mammon, you are officially on my shit list."
"G'Day, bitch." Mammon says, the fat, six limbed, pine tree like demon crosses all of his arms smugly.
"You... you sadistic bastard! You almost got all of us killed back there. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you get off on scaring people half to death in flying death traps disguised as air travel?!" Loona snarls, glaring at Mammon and her fists clenched with rage.
"I do it for fucking money, bitch!" Mammon says before laughing boisterously.
"Oh, so you're a greedy prick, huh? Money over decency and safety? Yeah, that tracks. Well guess what, Mammon? You can take your shitty attitude and your reckless flying habits and shove it up your greedy Sin of Greed ass." Loona says, her eyes narrowing further.
Mammon teleports with a Cha-Ching sound and when Blitzø, Loona, Moxxie, and Millie aren't looking, he throws a lava lamp, which hits Loona square in the face, shattering and spilling its contents all over her.
"Dammit, Mammon!" Loona growls as she grabs some nearby tissues and tries to wipe herself, her anger mounting, "That's it! You're officially public enemy number one to me from now on!"
Mammon just ignores her and teleports back to the cockpit and tilts the plane so the windows face the sun and Loona shields her eyes as the plane suddenly rotates to face the sun, the bright light flooding the cabin and blinding everyone inside for a moment.
"Seriously, Mammon? What the hell is wrong with you?" Loona says as she quickly grabs a pair of sunglasses and puts them on, trying to block out the intense rays, "This is starting to get really damn annoying."
However, Mammon teleports back into the cabin and says "DAMN, bitch!" in infatuation because of the sunglasses the hellhound is wearing.
"Oh, so now my sunglasses are the highlight of your day? How charming. Sorry to disappoint, but they're not for you. They're to block out the blinding light from your reckless flying." Loona says in an extremely sarcastic and dull voice.
Mammon says "You are a furry, mate.", not caring if this is a trigger word for Loona and her expression hardens.
"Hold on a minute. Did you just call me a furry?" Loona growls, her voice low and threatening.
Mammon, refusing to take the goth hellhound seriously, says "I won't tell you until you take off your fuckin' snazzy sunglasses, mate. The plane is going back to its normal fucking angle."
Loona scoffs, taking off her sunglasses and folding them up. "Fine. There, happy now? Now tell me why on Earth you called me a furry. I have a good mind to rip out your teeth one by one." she growls.
Mammon, since his full demon form he uses for combat is far too big to fit in the cabin, teleports to the cockpit and does a steep dive again, this time, heading for the ocean of Hell. Loona's eyes widen in horror as the plane begins another steep dive, this time heading straight for the murky depths of the ocean.
"Oh no... Oh no no no. Not again! Mammon, you're gonna drown us all if you slam into that water! Somebody stop the damn plane!" Loona panics.
"I FUCKING CAN'T! I CAN'T TAKE OFF MY FUCKIN' SEATBELT FOR SAFETY REASONS!" Blitzø screams.
"This can't be happening! We're going too fast! We'll crash into the water and drown! Blitzy, do something! Anything! Think of something!" Loona panics, her heart racing as the plane collides into the water.
This turns out to be a slam-dunk move as the airplane flies right out of the ocean like a rocket after flying into it, unscathed.
"Oh my God... We survived. How the hell did we survive that? That was... She takes a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. That was absolutely insane." Loona says before turning to Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie, "Guys, are you okay?"
However, Millie cannot talk due to the thrill while the others are too surprised to talk as Loona turns her attention back to the window, her eyes wide with disbelief. She shakes her head, still struggling to process what just happened.
"I... Can't even believe that we survived that. Flying has got to be one of the most terrifying experiences of my life." says the hellhound right before a missile strikes the plane's tail fin, blowing it clean off and causing the emergency alarm to ring.
Loona's eyes widen in shock as she hears the alarm blaring. "Oh no. Oh no no no. Not more trouble. What now?! What's going on out there?" she says, looking out the window and trying to see what's happening.
"You can't see whatever the fuck that was because it seemed to come from the plane's ass!" Blitzø says cryptically.
"Wait, what?! Someone just fired a missile at us?! From our own plane?! What the hell?!" Loona exclaims, her her expression a mix of shock and disbelief at the news.
"Right. It was the D.H.O.R.K.S." Blitzø says grimly and Loona's eyes widen, her heart racing as the realization sets in.
"Oh no. Oh no no no. Not the D.H.O.R.K.S. again." Loona growls as she grits her teeth and her fists clench with anger, "They're the ones who kidnapped us and tried to kill us last month. Those bastards have a lot to answer for!"
With that, the plane makes an emergency landing on a field, slamming the brakes as hard as possible since it is not a runway. Loona's heart races as the plane touches down with a jolt, the landing gear screaming against the rough terrain.
"Finally... We're back on solid ground. But... what now? Are the D.H.O.R.K.S. going to show up and try to finish the job?" Loona says as she looks out the window, her eyes scanning the surroundings for any signs of danger before a paper gets tossed at her face.
Loona blinks, her eyes focusing on the piece of paper that landed on her lap. She picks it up. "What the hell is this?" the hellhound says as she unfolds the paper, her eyes scanning the contents, which read "G'DAY, FURRY. WE HUMBLY REQUEST A TRUCE. CAN WE TALK?!"
"G'Day, my ass. But... if they're serious about talking and not just trying to lure us into a trap, we might as well give it a chance." the hellhound scoffs before turning to Blitzø, a smirk on her face, "What do you think, Blitzy? Should we hear them out?"
"Mammon wrote this shit of course." Blitzø says.
Loona's mood shifts from amusement to irritation at the mention of Mammon's name, "Ugh, of course it was Mammon. That bastard just loves stirring up trouble. But hey, if he's willing to sit down and chat instead of trying to off us, maybe we can use it to our advantage. It's worth a shot, right?"
After she says that, Mammon, the emergency leaving the usually arrogant and unshakeable clown terrified, pleads "Well you are a furry, but I am fucking serious about the truce for once!"
"Look, Mammon, I don't care about being called a furry. I've heard it all before. But if you're really serious about this truce and not just trying to waste our time, let's hear what you have to say. But I swear, if you try anything funny, I will rip your limbs off. Understood?" Loona warns before Mammon just ties up Loona, Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, and corners them to the door of the lavatory, slithering across the floor like a fat slug in desperation.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, you fat sack of crap?! Let us go!" Loona shouts, strugging against the tight binds that Mammon has tied around her wrists, her anger mounting as she looks around the cramped space of the lavatory.
"Look, I.M.P, we know we had our fuckin' differences, you are all cunts who I'd love in my belly, but we're all in motherfucking danger!" the Sin of Greed says.
"Why should we trust you? You've tried to kill us several times before. How do we know you're not just setting us up again? What's this about us all being in danger?" Loona says, glaring at Mammon with suspicion.
"You mean those fucking stunts, mate? Those were for fucking money!" Mammon explains.
"So wait... You almost killed us multiple times, even today, for money? And now you expect us to believe that we're all in danger and need to work together? How am I supposed to trust anything you say when your primary motivation is greed?" Loona says, raising her right eyebrow skeptically.
"That's not how a fuckin' truce works, mate!" Mammon says desperately.
"Oh, so now you're trying to lecture me on how to form a truce? Listen here, you greasy scumbag, a truce requires mutual trust and understanding. But how can anyone trust a greedy, self-serving bastard like you? You've tried to screw us over so many times, it's hard to believe that you have our best interests at heart. So why should we trust you now?" Loona scoffs, her irritation mounting.
"But Loona, aren't you the scumbag who yells at us too?" Millie points out before Loona stares at her, offended.
"Excuse me? How dare you! I may have a sharp tongue, but that doesn't make me a scumbag! And I don't try to off you guys every chance I get, unlike Mammon here!" Loona says defensively.
Mammon frantically pulls the ropes tighter on Loona, saying "I fucking discovered that there was a motherfucking base in the fucking distance! The D.H.O.R.K.S are seriously trying to fucking destroy us all and tell the world above the truth about fucking hell!"
Loona's eyes widen in shock and disbelief at Mammon's revelation. She says "Wait, what? A base? The D.H.O.R.K.S. have a base here in Hell? Do you have any proof to back up this claim, Mammon? Or is this just another one of your ploys to get in our good graces?"
"I'm fucking serious! As the Sin of Greed, I know everything!" Mammon declares.
"Oh, so now you're trying to pull the "I'm the Sin of Greed" card? Just because you're the Sin of Greed doesn't mean you have access to everything, Mammon. And even if the D.H.O.R.K.S. do have a base here in Hell, why should we trust your word about it being serious?" Loona says, remaining skeptical with her right eyebrow still raised.
"They're planning to destroy everything in Hell! I saw their fucking missile! You have to fucking trust me, mate!" Mammon pleads.
Loona narrows her eyes at Mammon, her expression skeptical but intrigued as she says "Destroy everything in Hell? That's a pretty bold claim, Mammon. You're not just trying to mess with us are you? But if what you're saying is true and the D.H.O.R.K.S. have a base here and are planning something big...". She pauses for a moment, weighing her options, "I guess we can't rule out the possibility. But if we're going to work together, we're going to do things my way."
Mammon pulls out several videos of evidence, showing that the agents are fearless and have hunted demons before. "We need to put aside our motherfucking differences." he says.
"Damn... So they've killed demons before? And they've got a base in Hell? This is starting to look more and more believable." Loona says as she turns to Mammon, her expression hardening, "Alright, Mammon. If we're going to work together to stop the D.H.O.R.K.S. and prevent them from revealing the true nature of Hell to the humans, we need to be clear on a few rules."
"There are no fucking rules! You're flipping off one of the Seven fucking Deadly Sins and acting like you're the fuckin' boss when you've got Blitz-O, Jellyhead, and Fatass!" Mammon retorts.
"Oh, so now you're trying to throw your title around? You think because you're one of the Seven Deadly Sins, you can boss us around? I don't think so, Mammon. We're not your pawns to push around. If you want to work with us, you'll have to play by our rules, or we're out. You got that?" Loona scoffs.
"Don't come fuckin' crying if we all get nuked, mate!" Mammon says.
"Oh, so now you're resorting to threats? That's not very becoming of the Sin of Greed, Mammon." Loona says as she stands up straighter, her voice firm, "Let me make this clear. We'll help you take down the D.H.O.R.K.S. But we'll do it on our terms. And if you try to pull any crap, we'll drop you faster than a hot potato. Got it?"
"Got it, mate." Mammon says. It is unusual for the fat Sin to be so paranoid, since he is usually arrogant, heartless, and abusive.
"Good. Now that we've got that settled, let's get to work. We need to figure out where this D.H.O.R.K.S. base is and what their plans are. Do you have any intel on their operations, Mammon? Any idea what they're planning and where they're hiding?" Loona says, her expression softening slightly.
Rather than replying directly, Mammon entitles Blitzø as "The Hero", Moxxie as "The Weapons Expert", Millie as "The Slaughter Demon", and Loona as "Info Bitch", the last of who rolls her eyes, not particularly fond of the titles Mammon has given them.
"Great, thanks for the titles, Mammon. I'm sure "Info Bitch" really captures my personality. But fine, whatever. Just tell us what you know about the base and the D.H.O.R.K.S.' plans." Loona says.
"I am not fucking spoiling it until we get closer." Mammon replies and Loona raises an eyebrow at Mammon's cryptic response.
"Oh, so now there are more secrets and surprises? Fine, fine. We'll play along. But I'm warning you, Mammon. If you're holding back anything that could lead us into a trap or put us in danger, I will personally rip your guts out and use them as decoration. Understand?" Loona threatens.
"I fucking understand, alright?!" Mammon retorts, earning a glare from Loona before she diverts her attention to her coworkers.
"Alright. Mammon's giving us the run-around, as usual. But if we want to get to the bottom of this and take down the D.H.O.R.K.S., we need to stick together and trust each other. Are you guys with me?" Loona asks formally, earning a harsh "YES!" from the rest of the crew.
Loona nods, a fierce determination glinting in her red eyes, and says "Good. We need to find this base and take the D.H.O.R.K.S. out before it's too late. Blitzy, any ideas on where to start?"
Blitzø, listening, goes to the lighting room with Loona following. He changes the lighting from dark red to blue. "So, what's this all about, Blitzy? What's the deal with the lighting?" Loona asks, curious.
"Stir up confusion, that's why." Blitzø replies vaguely.
Loona raises her right eyebrow, clearly impressed, and says "Hm, I like it. Confusing the D.H.O.R.K.S. might keep them off balance and give us an advantage. Well, it's better than anything I could come up with. But how long will this lighting change stay in effect?"
Blitzø tells her it's permanent unless someone changes the lighting back, with a whole bunch of other color options and Loona nods, her eyes scanning the different lighting options available. She then says "Permanent, huh? That could definitely come in handy. We can switch up the lighting as needed to throw off the D.H.O.R.K.S. and mess with their heads. And having different color options could help us create the right atmosphere for our attacks. Good thinking, Blitzy."
However, due to the red lighting being off, the hellhound now sees the words "OrPhAnAgE" written in dark red. She stares at it for a moment, a pang of hurt and anger welling up inside her. The mention of her past brings back painful memories of her time in the orphanage. The word is a cruel reminder of her past struggles and abandonment, the loneliness and isolation she had to endure.
Before she can respond, the sound of Mammon's angry shouting can be heard, indicating that anti-demon insults are scribbled all over the walls. She turns back to Blitzø, her expression hardening.
"Ignore Mammon's complaints for now. We have bigger fish to fry. Let's focus on the task at hand. We need to find the base and take out the D.H.O.R.K.S. before they cause any more trouble." Loona says.
"This place is crawling with fucking security drones. How do we not get fucking caught?" Blitzø frets and Loona's brow furrows as she thinks for a moment. She glances around the room, taking in the security measures in place.
"These security drones are a real headache. They're making it tougher to move around undetected. We need to find a way to neutralize them without alerting the D.H.O.R.K.S. Any ideas on how to do that, Blitzy?" Loona says to Blitzø before he pushes a button to reveal a giant spider drone, incomplete as he profanely comments about the opportunity of disguise.
"A giant spider? Really, Blitzy? That's your idea? Yeah, sure, nothing suspicious about a giant spider making its way through the base." Loona says skeptically.
"I thought I'd let you be at the weapons of this thing as I'd operate it. It looks like the king of fucking security drones." Blitzø replies.
Loona rolls her eyes but can't help but feel a twinge of interest. She's always had a fascination with weapons and technology. "Fine, fine. Let's see this thing in action. What's it packing?" she asks as they get inside of the unfinished drone. Due to not being a vehicle, both of them have to lay flat inside it while operating this thing.
"Alright, Blitzy. Let's see what this spider drone can do." Loona says, despite feeling queasy about being cramped with her boss inside the giant machine of wrath.
"Alright hound, we're goin' live." Blitzø announces as he looks through the sensor and spots two normal sized spider drones. Loona stares at the two drones through the sensor as well, her eyes narrowing. She instinctively reaches for the weapon.
"There they are. Looks like our first targets. Let's test out this drone's abilities. What's the plan, Blitzy?" Loona says.
"FUCK THEM UP!" Blitzø responds dramatically and a bloodthirsty smirk spreads across Loona's face, her predatory instincts kicking in.
"That's music to my ears, Blitzy. Let's do this." Loona says as she takes aim at one of the drones with a weapon attached to the titan spider drone, firing a barrage of projectiles and energy blasts towards them as the base's speaker says "Is it possible we have an intruder?!"
"Oh, what the hell? We need to move fast. They're onto us." Loona says as hundreds of little spider drones come closer.
"I'm sure they won't fuck us up. Those bots are too small to do this titan real damage." Blitzø assumes.
"Right. Let's stay focused and take these suckers down." Loona says before she fires shots at the smaller bots, her aim precise and deadly as they approach. The speaker then says "Wait a minute, our largest drone is now working!" as the smaller drones start swarming the titan drone as parasitic defenses.
"Dammit! Looks like they're getting the upper hand. Those smaller drones are all over us. We need to find a way to shake them off." the hellhound says as she searches the controls of the spider drone for something to help them.
Blitzø, realizing something, says "Wait, stop! They're trying to protect us due to mistaken identity." and Loona's eyebrows knit in confusion at his words. She pauses her attacks, staring down at the smaller drones clinging to the titan drone.
"What do you mean, mistaken identity? And how are these little bots trying to "protect" us?" she says as Blitzø says that they think it is the drone in question.
Loona's confusion gives way to a flicker of realization. "Ah, I see. So the smaller drones think that we're just a drone ourselves, and they're trying to protect us because of it. Maybe we can use that to our advantage." the hellhound says before pausing for a moment, mulling over different possibilities, "Alright, so if these smaller drones think we're a friendly drone, maybe we can blend in and confuse them. Let's see if we can fool them into thinking we're one of their own."
Blitzø then drives the giant spider droid to Moxxie, I.M.P's most hated employee, as a test subject and asks Loona to fire the weapon as her fingers grip the controls tightly.
"Alright, let's see how convincing this disguise is. If this works, we can potentially gain access to the base without suspicion." Loona says as she aims her weapon at Moxxie, a mixture of hesitation and determination in her eyes, "Are you sure about this, Blitz? I don't want to hurt Moxxie..."
"No one likes this small dicked fuck. Set the weapon to "STUN"." Blitzø says as Loona does as he says, still feeling a pang of guilt at the thought of hurting her colleague. She takes aim at Moxxie, her finger hovering over the trigger.
"Alright, here we go." Loona says before she pulls the trigger, releasing a stun blast at Moxxie. The speaker says "That's one down" as Loona watches the energy blast hit Moxxie, her expression a mix of relief and guilt as the imp falls to the ground.
"Well, I guess it worked. He's down." Loona says as she looks up at Blitzø, their faces mere inches apart in the cramped interior of the spider drone, "Now what?"
Blitzø pilots the titan spider drone to a bathroom that writes "ULTRA PRIVATE PISSROOM! AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY! NO DEMONS ALLOWED!". As Loona sees the bathroom in the sensor, a mischievous smirk spreads across her face.
"Hey, Blitzy, check it out. Looks like they've got an "ultra private pissroom" over there. Want to see if we can give them a golden surprise?" Loona chuckles, her eyes gleaming with playful mischief.
The door automatically opens, thinking that it's the titan spider security drone entering as Blitzø tells Loona to shoot the drone generator that produces drones from thin air, who turns her attention to the drone generator, located just inside the bathroom. She takes aim and fires a precise shot, striking the generator and causing it to malfunction and explode.
"There, that should put a stop to their drone production, Blitzy." she says before Blitzø, faintly hearing a door open, steps out of the drone and picks up a water bottle on top of a toilet and brings it back inside.
"What's with the water bottle, Blitzy? Need to stay hydrated while we're causing chaos?" Loona teases, using the nickname exactly like how Stolas would.
"No. Agent One or Two is coming. Pretend to piss-piss." Blitzø says quietly, handing Loona the water bottle. She takes it from his hand, a mischievous grin on her face.
"Oh, so we're going for the ol' fake piss. Classic tactic." Loona says cockily before she places the water bottle between her legs and pretends to urinate, making the appropriate sounds and movements.
"How's that, Blitzy? Do I look like a convincing pisser?"
However, Blitzø notices and shouts "STAY IN THE DRONE!" to the rogue hellhound for her safety.
"Oh, I'm staying right here, Blitzy. No one's going to get rid of me that easily. Now let's see how well these humans can handle some real action." Loona says, her voice low and teasing.
Before the hellhound prepares herself for a fight, holding a weapon ready in case they need to make a quick exit, Blitzø frantically puts Loona back in the drone before she can get any more reckless. He orders her to drink but not swallow the water from the bottle. He wants her to spit it in the toilet through the drone's sensor.
Loona raises an eyebrow at Blitzø's odd request but decides to go along with it. She takes a few gulps from the water bottle, careful not to swallow any and storing it in her mouth. Just as they hear footsteps approaching the bathroom, Loona spits out the water through the drone's sensor, aiming for the toilet.
"Done. Are they buying it, Blitzy?"
Right after she says that, Agent One can be seen removing his sunglasses as he is using the urinal and looks up at the titan spider security drone, thinking it peed in excitement as Blitzø backs the drone up away from the bathroom.
"Well, Blitzy, looks like our plan worked. Good thinking on the fake pissing tactic." Loona says before they stop at is a particular sinister looking room. Agent Two is in it, removing her sunglasses to watch the titan drone enter.
As Loona watches Agent Two remove her glasses, a feeling of dread settles in the pit of her stomach. Something about the woman feels different than the others. The hellhound taps Blitzø on the shoulder, her voice low and urgent,
"Hey, Blitzy... I have a bad feeling about this. Keep your guard up."
However, the agent just says "Hey handsome. Put the others on thin ice." to the titan drone. (Loona's eyes widen in shock at the agent's unexpected comment. She exchanges a glance with Blitzø, her confusion mounting.
"Wait... did that agent just hit on the drone? This is getting weirder by the minute." Loona says, aware of the weirdness that has been spreading through Hell.
"She's infatuated because they must have thought the titan drone project was doomed." Blitzø speculates.
Loona shakes her head in disbelief, a chuckle escaping her lips. She says "Ha! Who would've thought that a giant spider security drone would have such charm? Maybe we should add "heartthrob" to its list of skills. But we can't let her affection cloud our mission, Blitzy. We have a job to do."
The two notice a screen in the room starts with a 10 minute countdown timer, suggesting that Agent One is getting the Hell Destroyer atomic missile ready.
"I hope that clock is just counting backwards." Blitzø frets in vain.
"Oh, for Satan's sake. Looks like that countdown is for something more ominous than we thought. Blitzy, that clock has to be related to that "Hell Destroyer" missile. We need to find a way to shut it down fast." Loona says, her eyes darting to the countdown timer and her heart skipping a beat.
Before Blitzø can reply, Mammon then teleports inside the drone, crushing both Blitzø and Loona and providing no room for them at all.
"First, destroy the AI that will launch that fucking superweapon. Only problem is there are so many fuckin' annoyin' security drones. Furry, do you think you can take out those motherfuckers with that drone?" Mammon says.
Loona, trapped under Mammon's weight, struggles to catch her breath. "Dammit, Mammon! Get your heavy ass off of me!" she growls at the king of greed, her voice laced with irritation, "And don't call me "furry"! But fine, I can handle the security drones. Just give me a chance to get up."
"This is no fucking time to bitch! I'm not done explaining yet! There is a protected button which will disable every fucking security camera so you will have to work fucking fast! Then there is a killer gas button, also protected by drones, that you will need to start to finish off the fucking D.H.O.R.K.S. Cameras first!" Mammon explains.
Loona takes the deepest breath she can as Mammon crushes her and Blitzø, attempting to steady her nerves. "Alright, alright. I got it. Disabling the security cameras and releasing the gas are our priorities. But how the hell are we going to get past all those security drones? They're like an annoying army of flies, buzzing around and getting in our way."
"Use the killer gun on this thing!" Mammon says before teleporting away to give Blitzø and Loona room. Loona looks up at the controls and spots the weapon Mammon was referring to. It seems to be some kind of anti-security drones machine.
"Alright, this looks powerful enough to blast through those pests. Let's see what this baby can do." Loona says, turning to Blitzø a determined look in her eyes, "Time to kick some security drone ass. You ready, Blitzy?"
Soon, all of the drones guarding the cameras are destroyed and the gun is activated on the titan drone, destroying the protected button and shutting down all the cameras in this place. Loona watches as the last security drone meets its demise, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction.
"Boom! We did it, Blitzy! We took down those annoying ass drones and knocked out all the cameras. Now we can take on those D.H.O.R.K.S. guys without any distractions." Loona says.
However, 5 minutes are left as Blitzø sees through the drone's sensor that the two D.H.O.R.K.S agents are praising that the slaughter of all hellspawn will be so much fun until Agent One tells Agent Two that they have a big problem, not that they're afraid.
Loona's not-so-small ears twitch, her keen hearing picking up the agents' conversation. "Wait a minute... they're not afraid. They're saying they have too BIG a problem? What the hell does that mean?" she says, exchanging a puzzled glance with Blitzø, both of them trying to make sense of the agents' words.
"He means that we shut down all the security." Blitzø answers.
"Oh shit. That means they're gonna trigger the missile countdown as a last resort. We need to stop them from launching that superweapon! We've only got a few minutes left. Come on, Blitzy! We gotta move!" Loona says urgently as Agent One shouts over the speaker that their base is getting wrecked and sends in the last population of security drones to attack the titan drone that is being piloted by their sworn enemies.
Loona clenches her fists in determination, ready to defend themselves against the incoming drones. "Hang on tight, Blitzy. This is gonna get ugly." she says as the last wave of security drones swarms toward them, their numbers seemingly endless. Loona grips her weapon tightly, bracing herself for the approaching onslaught.
"These drones may be numerous, but we're not going down that easily. We'll fight them off and stop those agents from launching that missile." Loona says.
In 3 minutes, the last security drones are extinct. Blitzø, seeing as there is less than 2 minutes left, says "Destroy the fucking AI that will launch the fucking missile! Now!"
Loona nods, her mind focused on the task at hand. "Got it, Blitzy." she says as she turns her attention to the control panel, searching for the AI that controls the superweapon.
"Let's see... where's the AI for that damned missile?" Loona says, her four fingers racing across the panel and quickly scrolling through various screens and options until she finds the right one.
"Here it is!"
As the button is pressed, she is so exasperated that her sunglasses fly off and shatter when they hit the ground, screaming the F-word slowly as Loona smirks, a sense of triumph washing over her.
"That's what you get, D.H.O.R.K.S! You underestimated us, and now you're paying the price." Loona says before she looks at Blitzø, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction, "We did it, Blitzy! We stopped the missile from launching. Those agents won't be able to destroy demonkind after all."
However, before the hellhound can get back in, Agent One kicks Loona in the muzzle violently, actually drawing blood as Agent Two brandishes her gun fearlessly. "I'M GOING TO TURN ON THE FUCKING GAS IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, LOONA!" Blitzø calls.
"Dammit...! That hurt like hell." Loona says before she quickly regathers herself, her fighting spirit fueling her determination, "Don't worry, Blitzy. You think I can't handle a couple of weak humans? I'll take care of 'em."
Blitzø then jumps out of the titan spider mech and says "DON'T MOVE OR THEY WILL SHOOT YOU!" as he runs off to press the killer gas button to finish off the two agents and Loona nods, understanding Blitzy's strategy. She stands her ground, keeping her distance and appearing non-threatening.
"Alright, Blitzy. I'll hold my ground. You take care of those agents." Loona says as the two D.H.O.R.K.S agents continue holding her at gunpoint, watching closely for any sudden moves or signs of aggression from the hellhound.
Right before Agent Two can pull the trigger upon seeing Loona's eye twitch, the two D.H.O.R.K.S start to convulse violently. Mammon had already brought Millie and Moxxie out of the building before the gas was activated as Blitzø hops onto the mech and pounds on the sensor, telling Loona to get back in.
Loona watches as the D.H.O.R.K.S agents convulse from the effects of the gas, a satisfied smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Good riddance. Those fools deserved what they got." she says as she hops back into the titan mech, her head still throbbing from the earlier blow but her determination intact, "Well, Blitzy, that was a close one. But we did it. We took down the D.H.O.R.K.S and saved everyone from that damn missile."
However, the titan spider mech refuses to function. "Christ on a stick, the mech isn't working anymore!" Blitzø says "You're lucky I don't have a nose because I am an Imp so I can just shut my fucking mouth but you're a hellhound. We're going to have to GTFO by ourselves."
Blitzø hops out of the mech, keeping his mouth shut so he doesn't inhale the killer gas as he gestures for Loona to step out. The hellhound follows Blitzø's lead and quickly exits the mech, holding her breath to avoid inhaling the killer gas.
"Alright, let's get the hell out of here. I'm not too keen on dying here." Loona speaks through gritted teeth as she scans their surroundings, searching for an escape route, "This place is a wreck. How are we going to get out of here?"
"Don't talk or we'll end up breathing that shit in." Blitzø says in vain, gritting his teeth and hoping the hellhound can understand him.
Loona nods in understanding, silently mouthing "okay" in response to Blitzø's warning and still says "Right, no talking. I can do that. Let's just focus on finding a way out."
After 5 minutes, the two make it outside of the wrecked base. Blitzø lets out a large breath, relieved, and Loona does what he just did, her breath coming out in a rush.
"Phew... that was close. I can finally breathe normally again." Loona says before looking at the destroyed D.H.O.R.K.S base with a smug look on her face, "I must say, we kicked some serious ass back there. We stopped those bastards from launching that missile and made them pay for underestimating us."
After she says that, another airliner, again piloted by Mammon, does a hard landing on the field. "That motherfucking base is motherfucking gone at motherfucking last! I'LL MOTHER FUCKING BE MOTHERFUCKING RICH! BIIIIIIIIITCH!" Mammon screams at the top of his lungs.
Loona raises an eyebrow at Mammon's exuberant outburst, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Alright, Mammon, dial it down a notch. No need to rub it in so loudly." she says as she glances at Blitzø, a hint of amusement in her eyes before turning back to Mammon, "I'll admit, we did have a part in taking down that base. But we didn't do it for the money."
Mammon gestures at Loona, Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie to get in the airliner. She exchanges a glance with Blitzø, the two nodding in understanding and they follow Mammon and the others into the airliner, eager to get out of this dangerous situation and back to the safety of Hell.
Millie, sitting right behind Loona again, says "Ah don't mean to be a pain in your tail but are you still 'fraid of flyin'? Ah bet Mammon will do those stunts again!"
Loona turns in her seat to look at Millie and forces a small smile, trying to hide her anxiety. "Uh-huh, I guess you could say I'm still not crazy about flying. But I'm not a wimp, you know. I can handle it." Loona says, crossing her arms defiantly, as if trying to convince herself as much as Millie, "Besides, Mammon won't dare mess around too much. Right, Mammon?"
"Actually, I still will, mate." Mammon says before he teleports to the cockpit with a "cha-ching". It takes 10 minutes for the plane to take off as Blitzø's "You must fear your own fear by letting it out." advice starts ringing in Loona's head again.
Loona grits her teeth, the familiar feeling of dread building in her stomach as the plane lifts off the ground. Her grip on the seat tightens, her body tensing in anticipation of any sudden movements or unexpected turbulence. "Okay... okay... I can do this. I can do this." Loona says before she takes a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. "Just stay calm. It's just flying." she continues.
However, Mammon abruptly banks to one side, Loona grips the armrests tightly, her knuckles turning white. The motion causes her stomach to twist and turns upside down.
"Oh, no... dammit, not again!" the hellhound grumbles under her breath, closing her eyes shut as she battles to keep her lunch down as the plane pitches up to 42,000 feet high as her pulse quickens again. The high altitude makes her feel even more disoriented and nauseous.
"Uh... maybe this was a bad idea. Flying is the worst!" Loona says, noticing that everyone else seems unfazed by the sudden movement and altitude change before the plane descends sharply, dunking into the ocean again and shooting out of the water like a rocket.
"Oh god... why did I agree to this!?" Loona says as the force of the sudden movement sends her stomach lurching, and she clenches her jaw, trying to swallow down the nausea.
Later, the plane rides up the volcano again and flies away from it before the heat got fatal for the hellhound. By now, Loona is beyond relieved that the flying part of the journey is finally over. She lets out a sigh of relief, her grip loosening on the armrests as the plane finally begins to level out. The adrenaline rush slowly starts to subside, and her stomach starts to settle as well.
"Whew... I don't think I'm ever gonna step on another plane again. That was pure torture." Loona says, still slightly miffed about his reckless flying.
However, Mammon cannot see as he is in the cockpit and then does another sharp dive, breaking the sound barrier and finally landing at Bloody Hell Airfield at full speed and braking extremely hard. As the plane touches down on the runway, Loona's body is jolted forward, then jerked back again as it comes to a stop. For a moment, she just groans and catches her breath, her body still feeling the effect of the turbulence and rough landing.
"Oh, thank Satan that's over..." Loona says before shooting a glare at Mammon's direction, making a mental note to never fly with the Sin of Greed again.
"At least our fucking truce worked." Mammon says with a nervous toothy smile on his face. Loona looks at Mammon with a mix of relief and annoyance. She can't help but crack a small, ironic smile in return.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll admit it worked out... barely. But next time, try to keep the flying as smooth as possible, alright? I don't think my stomach can handle another roller coaster ride like that." the hellhound says.
"That was a fucking one time quest to annihilate the fucking D.H.I.C.K.S." Mammon assures and Loona can't help but chuckle at his bold admission.
"Well, it was a one-time terrifying quest. But I gotta hand it to you, it was also one successful mission. D.H.I.C.K.S are history, thanks to us." Loona says with a smirk, a hint of pride in her eyes.
"Next time I revive my motherfuckin' amusement park, I'm going to name it "Loona Land"" Mammom says, immediately catching the imp's attention.
"Loona Land?" Moxxie says, "Loona Land?!" exclaimed Millie, "Loooona Land!" cheers Blitzø.
Loona looks at the trio with surprise and disbelief at their sudden excitement. "Wait, what? You all want a theme park named after me?" she says, feeling a mix of confusion and embarrassment, flattered but also slightly taken aback by the idea.
"Remember Loo Loo Land, which I don't give a fucking shit anymore about?" Mammon says and Loona nods, remembering the infamous Loo Loo Land fiasco all too well.
"Yeah, I remember it. That place was a total disaster." Loona says even though she had never visited this place.
With that, Mammon teleports to inside Bloody Hell airport, where Blitzø, Millie, and Moxxie are having a celebratory party with a banner writing "WE DEFEATED THE D.H.O.R.K.S" giving the hellhound an opportunity to go through the jet bridge and inside the terminal. Loona hesitates for a moment, taking in the sight of the impromptu celebration. She decides that she needs some time alone, away from the chaos.
"I think I need some air." Loona says, overwhelmed as she quietly slips away unnoticed by the others and makes her way through the jet bridge and into the terminal, seeking a quiet spot to collect her thoughts. However, this is a poor choice, as the partying Imps are now in full sight and earshot, smashing their cups of beer together with Moxxie having beer froth all over his face. Even worse, Mammon teleports in the middle of the terminal and starts singing "Baby Shark", making all 6 of his hands do the chomping motion associated with this song.
As Loona steps out into the terminal, the loud commotion and singing catch her attention. Her ears perk up at the sound of Mammon's rendition of "Baby Shark", and she can't help but roll her eyes.
"Great... just what I needed, more noise." said Loona as she starts weaving her way through the crowd of partying Imps, trying to find a quieter spot where she can think in peace.
Making up the rest of the crowd are Millie's farmer parents, Sallie May, Millie's brothers, Blitzø's diabolical twin imp sister named Barbie Wire, and even Moxxie's truly villainous, homophobic mafia dad named Crimson, the last two of who are quietly chatting about their evil plans while drinking like all the other imps.
As Loona weaves her way through the crowd, her eyes widen slightly at the sight of some familiar faces. She spots Blitzø's twin sister, Barbie Wire, who's engaged in a hushed conversation with Moxxie's menacing father, Crimson.
"Ah, great. Just when I thought this place couldn't get more chaotic..." Loona says as she ducks her head, hoping no one will notice her as she continues searching for some solitude.
Moxxie, appearing fairly concerned, stops his partying and passes through the various imps, saying "Excuse me, crowd, I'm just trying to squeeze through. Hey, Loona! I know you despise me with the fullest extent, but you don't have to be a hero. Blitzø does, as he told me that he turned on the gas to kill the D.H.O.R.K.S and ultimately saved us all. We couldn't have done it without you, Millie, Blitzø, and even Mammon, all of who are too busy partying to hear us right now."
Loona stops in her tracks as Moxxie calls out to her. She turns around to face him, a hint of surprise on her face. She hadn't expected Moxxie to approach her, especially considering their rocky history together. "What do you want, Moxx?" she says, crossing her arms and trying to maintain her usual apathetic demeanor.
"I've already said it to you." Moxxie replies Loona raises an eyebrow, looking quizzically at Moxxie. She takes a moment to process his words, her guard slowly starting to come down.
"You're... thanking me?" Loona says. Her voice carries a hint of disbelief, surprised to hear such words coming from Moxxie.
"We are strongest when we all band together with an unlikely ally, just like super strength." Moxxie assures and Loona huffs softly, a hint of a smirk playing on her lips at Moxxie's comment. Despite her initial disdain for him, she can't deny the truth in his words.
"You've got a point there, Mox." Loona says as she looks at him in the eye, her expression softening slightly, "But don't get used to this... I still think you're a nerd."
"You see, Blitzø is the real hero, not you. He deserves all the love." Moxxie says and Loona lets out a scoff, her smirk turning into a more playful expression.
"Oh, here we go again. Blitzy's the hero, huh?" Loona says as she rolls her eyes, trying to hide her slight amusement, "I knew you couldn't last more than a second without sucking up to him."
"Right. You're not in this alone." Moxxie says and Loona can't help but snicker at Moxxie's remark. Despite her initial irritation, she finds herself strangely entertained by their banter.
"Pfft... easy there, Mox. You'll make me blush." Loona says as she leans against a nearby pillar, her usual tough exterior crumbling a bit more, "But seriously, thanks. It's not every day you get gratitude from the resident suck-up."
Later, in the night, Slutty Spider Polka Pop, an instrumental, is being sung by Mammon as the imps still celebrate the D.H.O.R.K.S' defeat and the terminal flashes due to fireworks outside as Moxxie drunkenly licks a pillar next to a table with carbonated bottles of alcohol popping open, causing froth to shoot out and in as a bowl of fermented blood punch lies on the same table.
Loona stands off to the side, watching the festivities from a distance. She's still feeling slightly out of place and overwhelmed by the crowd, yet something about the chaotic scene is oddly captivating. She can't help but smirk as she sees Moxxie in his drunken state, attempting to lick a pillar.
"Damn, he's really going for it, huh?" the hellhound says before Millie, without Moxxie by her side, stops partying and goes up to Loona, since the imp is worried about the lack of involvement in the party.
The imp, despite being 3'6 feet tall while Loona is 6'4, sips from her glass of cider and offers one to Loona, saying "OK, dog treats or meat? Kiddin', ah know you hate dog treats because it makes others call you a furry."
Loona looks down at Millie, surprised yet slightly amused by her approach. She can't help but crack a small smile as Millie jokes about the dog treats. She takes the glass of cider offered to her, gently swirling the drink in the glass and replying with "Meat, for sure. No furry insults for me, thanks."
The hellhound takes a sip, the taste of apple and alcohol hitting her tongue. There's something oddly comfortable about talking to Millie like this.
"Ah'm sorry ah said "Dem Sky Whale" on the flight to fuck up the dorks." Millie says, already tipsy from the partying.
Loona lets out a chuckle, shaking her head at Millie's apology. She takes another sip of her drink, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Yeah, that wasn't exactly the most soothing choice of words. But don't worry about it, Mills. It all worked out in the end, didn't it?" the hellhound says.
However, Blitzø stumbles over and drunkenly says "Well I don't have anything to fuck either, okay? What's that noise? Tickle plane coming to this airport." as he gets ready to tickle both of them with Millie, also being in a drunken mood, shouting "Blitz-oh no! Jinx jinx jinx jinx!". Loona bursts out laughing as Blitzø stumbles over, clearly drunk out of his mind. She tries to dodge his tipsy attempts at tickle, but his fingers find their way to her sides.
"Hey, hey, knock it off!" Loona says as she giggles and squirms, struggling to break free from his grip. Millie's shout of "Jinx jinx jinx jinx" only adds to the playful chaos, making Loona laugh even harder.
The next morning, still in the airport, only Blitzø, Loona, Millie, and Moxxie are present, with everyone else back to their home places. Upon waking up, Blitzø starts running, dragging the others with him and gets back onto his van, the whole time singing "Back to work, doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo", taking inspiration from Mammon.
Loona's head pounds with a throbbing headache, the sound of Blitzø's off-key singing doing nothing to help her hangover. "Man, this is the last thing I need right now..." she grumbles, rubbing her temples.
In time, they return back to the I.M.P headquarters. Blitzø puts Millie and Moxxie in Loona's room so they can fornicate in their sleep, and puts Loona on her seat on the receptionist office. The hellhound stumbles a bit as she walks, her hangover still leaving her feeling unsteady. She sinks into her seat, rubbing her eyes as she tries to shake off the drowsiness.
"Man, I don't remember the last time I was this hungover..." she says and as a nonsensical gag, Blitzø waits for Loona to yawn with the intention of putting his finger in between her jaws when her mouth is open.
Loona can't help but notice Blitzø staring at her intently. She feels a pang of annoyance, knowing something mischievous is about to happen.
"What are you looking at? she asks, glaring at the imp and her eyes narrowing. Without thinking, she gives a yawn, her mouth slowly opening wide. In that moment, Blitzø makes his move.
Blitzø then slides his finger back before her mouth closes. In addition to just doing this for fun, he was also doing a sobriety check as Loona yelps slightly in surprise as Blitzø stuck his finger in her mouth, interrupting her yawn. Her eyes widen for a moment before narrowing in annoyance.
"Hey, what the hell, Blitzy? What was that for?" Loona says as she pulls back, smacks his hand away and gives him a playful glare.
"That was the worst hangover you ever had, Toonie. At least it was just our celebration after defeating the D.H.O.R.K.S yesterday, okay?" Blitzø says.
Loona rolls her eyes, still feeling groggy and disoriented. She massages her temples, trying to ease the headache that's still plaguing her and says "Don't remind me. I feel like death warmed over... next time, maybe we stick to less obnoxious celebrating methods, alright?"
Blitzø, ready to explain their true intentions, says "This whole idea kind of stuck in my mind after I watched some shitty 2019 comedy named "The Pissed Off Turds Movie 2". Some shitty movie about turds having a truce with dicks to destroy the superweapon of the ex-wife of the Mighty Turd"
Loona raises an eyebrow, skeptical of Blitzø's bizarre reference. She leans back in her chair, shaking her head, and says "Seriously? You're basing our celebration methods on a crappy movie about talking turds and dicks?". She can't help but snort a little at the absurdity of it all.
"Right, and the plane flight to the superweapon, the distractions we used against the robots, including the peeing scene, and the scene where all the mighty turds sing "Baby Shark" with Bomb, a turd who explodes at will until Shita, the Mighty Turd's ex, announced that her base was being infiltrated with the turds then singing "Back to Work". Mammon and D.H.O.R.K.S must have watched it as well judging by their behaviour." Blitzø says, matter-of-factly.
Loona can't help but laugh at Blitzy's detailed explanation, picturing the D.H.O.R.K.S and Mammon acting like characters from the ridiculous movie. She shakes her head, still finding it hard to believe that their recent events had any resemblance to a fictional flick.
"Wait, so you're telling me that Mammon sang "Baby Shark" because of some crappy movie? I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned." the hellhound says.
"Doesn't mean our behaviour wasn't genuine, okay?" Blitzø says.
Loona waves her hand dismissively, a small smirk on her face, "Oh, I'm not denying that. It's just... kinda amusing how our real-life adventures mirrored a crappy movie. It's like we inadvertently channeled the spirit of a potty-mouthed turd rebellion." the hellhound says. She can't help but chuckle at the thought.
THE END