Short I know! Both the chapter and the wait! I guess maybe I could have fit all this in to the last chapter, but I've been writing this story on Deviant Art's writer and that actually has a word limit so I gotta be careful. Still I had fun with this chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Start the fic.
4
3
2
Stepping outside, Dipper couldn't help but smile at the laboratory's secret location. To him it was the most beautiful thing in the world... a tourist trap. This one was about a rock shaped like a ufo, but as far as tourist traps go this one was considered a failure. There was barely anybody here and hardly anyone visited which was why it was a perfect cover. He walked over to the gift shop. The sign that hung in the door window read 'Closed' but Dipper ignored it, he pulled out his President Key and unlocked it. Dipper walked inside and walked over to an isle shelf and picked up a bobble head. This wasn't a normal bobble head however, this was a ten year old Mr. Mystery bobble head.
Dipper smirked as he held the bobble head in his hand. It was always good to see his Grunkle Stan again, even if it was as a fake plastic knock off.
He pulled the string on the fez and the bobble head's nose blinked twice. The isle itself moved back and revealed a hidden stair case leading down.
Heading down he entered a room with a glass like floor. He took out a quarter and flipped it into the air, red dots covered the coin as it descended to the ground. It rolled on the floor until it was suddenly peppered in laser fire. By the time it had ceased there was only a small bit of the quarter left. He waited exactly ten seconds and then walked to the opposite side of the room, what looked like just another wall was really a hologram. He walked right through it causing it to shimmer.
The next room was a little less complicated, there was a giant circular bank vault door and a electronic number pad on the wall next to it. He walked over to it and was about to punch in the numbers when it occurred to him he had once again forgotten the pass code.
"Dang it! Every single time... you'd think I'd have learn to write it down by now!"
He dug out his President's Key again and held it up to the lock. A bunch of numbers scattered about the screen until a clicking sound was heard. The words 'PASS CODE ACCEPTED' flashed by and Dipper put away his President's Key.
Instead of opening out like a steel vault door was supposed to do, it slid upwards.
When he first walked in the room looked completely empty, but Dipper knew better. A couple steps in and the whole room changed, there was scientific equipment everywhere but not a lot of people. It resembled Ford's old secret study in a way but anything which was considered steampunk was replaced with nearly futuristic equivalents. The space was vast with plenty of room for future equipment while some skinny agents with black suits bustled about with clipboards and their ear pieces on. The floor was made of a what could be believed to be brass while the walls had a possible copper covering. These were what the metals resembled but were probably much complicated since Stanford Pines was a consultant for it's construction. It wasn't far in to the facility that Dipper ran in to none other than Larry King's disembodied floating head. Yes, the decapitated Larry King head from the Mystery Shack was now on a space age device right out of the Jetsons, it allowed him float and fly about as he pleased.
"Dipper Pines, you're back. And you have a pink dot in your hat. Tell us about that."
"Hey Larry King, the lab asked me to come in. How's the device?"
"It's simply wonderful! I can get around magnificently now but nobody seems to want to feed me. Larry King's disembodied flying floating head wants num nums."
"Larry, you don't have a stomach; shoot I'm not even convinced you have a throat, exactly what would eating 'do' for you?"
"I just simply enjoy the act."
"Well it's nice to see you're at least keeping busy since leaving the Mystery Shack."
"It is not my fault if I turned out to be a 'little too real' for the kiddies."
"Of course not."
"At least here, my two cents is appreciated."
"Alright, I gotta get going now."
"Thanks for stopping by."
Larry King flew off but it wouldn't be long before Dipper would encounter another familiar face from Gravity Falls.
"Oh hey Dipper."
"Chubby Z! Good to see you! Where's the rest of your brothers?"
All of Several Times eventually came to work for the US government for a number of reasons. 1.) They may have been clones but they were still human. They couldn't be expected to live in the forest forever. 2.) As 1 told us they are clones. They didn't really 'fit' in to normal society especially when they need explanations for simple things like tape dispensers. 3.) They were from Gravity Falls so not only were they used to working with weird stuff, they also weren't afraid to do any menial grunt work involved with it. 4.) No matter how much time went by they didn't age, they still looked like they did when Dipper met them 10 years ago. Honestly, it was a little concerning. 5.) And this one still tends to throw Dipper for a loop: They all had an IQ of over 140.
'Had to be some type of computer error.' Dipper thought looking back.
"They're helping me feed Tammy." Chubby Z explained, bringing Dipper back down to Earth. "Which reminds me, you haven't seen a goat running around here have you?"
"Certainly not but I'll keep my eyes open for one. How is Tammy by the way?"
"Hungry! Who knew taking care of a T-Rex would be such a chore?"
"Yeah well, we couldn't very well put her back in to the sap. Not humane and all that crap."
"Deep Chris is supposed to be me helping me out but that dawg has gotten straight up lazy on me G!"
"Well I'll keep an eye out for him too."
"Did you know your hat has a pink dot on it?"
"Sigh. Yes. I did."
Dipper tipped his hat to him and continued on his way. Over at a desk facing the wall were the actual government agents from his childhood.
"Security at the jail under Fort Knox is holding but many of our G-Men have stated that there is a feeling of tension in the air."
"I blame those creepy little lightning goblin things. Their faces spell out trouble every time just one of them grins."
"I suppose wouldn't hurt to double the guard, maybe send in some more men. We'll do the paperwork for it."
"The boring paperwork."
Dipper rolled his eyes and continued on his way mumbling something about how 'somethings never change'.
At the opposite end of the room were the some of the brightest scientists the lab had to offer.
"Dippers 3 and 4! Good to see you kids again!"
3 and 4 was what they were called because these were the numbers which adorned their hats separately. What made them unique though was that each of them looked exactly like Dipper from when he was twelve years old.
"Dipper Classic! Thanks for coming in man!"
"We were wondering when you'd get here."
"Sorry, I get tripped up by Jack Frost."
"That dick!" 3 and 4 said in unison.
"I know, I know. It's nice to see you two are as short as ever though."
"Hey, it's not our fault paper doesn't age and mature like people." 3 snapped.
"I'm just glad we didn't yellow like some paper does. Ughh!" 4 shuttered.
"Did you know your hat has a pink dot on it?" 3 asked.
"Never mind that. So tell me Dippers," Dipper placed his hands on both of their shoulders in a brotherly way. "What's so important you needed to tell me about it in person?"
"Well what we have to tell you is going to have to wait. Believe it or not, you have a phone call." 3 informed.
"What?"
"That's what I said!" 4 added handing Dipper a cell phone from under his hat. "How many people did you give this number out to?"
"Not many." Dipper answered. He took the phone and brought it to his ear. "Hello?... Oh! It's you... whoa! Whoa! Back up! Start at the beginning..."
Meanwhile in the RV...
Pacifica laid down in bed, staring up in to the ceiling. Her fever wasn't quite as licked as Dipper had thought, she had a killer headache. This was why she turned off the television, it wasn't helping so she figured she would try to get some sleep in. That was the plan, but her pounding headache was keeping her up.
"I miss Dipper!" she announced loudly to herself.
She was about to close her eyes and try to drift in to sleep again when her eyes shot wide open. "Oh my God, I miss Dipper!"
This wasn't just a normal 'I-miss-having-him-around' type of missing a person, this was a 'I-miss-everything-about-this-person-and-why-aren't-they-here-right-now?!' kind of longing. The thought of the romantic implications alone were making her face go redder and redder.
"A-heh...HEH HEH! AHA HA HA! Not like that MEANS anything! It's still just a crush, they come and go without rhyme or reason!"
Realizing she was literally talking to herself, she decided to get out of bed and head outside for some fresh air.
"I know what I need to do! I'll just keep myself busy to keep my mind off of hi-I mean to help the time go by!"
Stepping outside she found the table Dipper had mentioned. And like he had said her sewing machine was already set up and waiting for her. She smiled at the sight, Dipper had even gone the extra mile and had her materials out too. 'He's so sweet!'
"All I really need to do is throw myself in to my work. Create something."
She sat down and got right to work.
"Yes, this is all I really need. Something simple and easy to take my mind off my troubles."
She hummed to herself as she continued to work. Soon there was nothing in her world but the sewing machine, her materials, and herself.
"And finished. Now let's marvel at whatever masterpiece I created!"
She pulled her creation to the edge of the table to inspect it better. "What the...?"
In front of her was a tiny little plush Dipper doll, complete with a hat and trench coat. Which was impressive since she didn't have any brown fabric. She had created them without even knowing, it happened sometimes when she was 'in the zone' ; but what had she created them with? A mental picture flashed in her mind of the inside of her purse...which was brown... and next to the table...
She looked at her hands, then back at the machine, then back at her hands again.
"...traitors..."
She got up and headed back inside only to hurry back and grab the Dipper doll.
"What Dipper doesn't know won't hurt him."
"Okay, you're lucky you're not too far away. I'll be there as soon as I can. Till then hang tight and don't do anything reckless!"
"So? Who was it?"
"Well 3, it was Yorg."
"Yorg?" asked 4. "Like the viking who gave you that battle axe you hang in your RV?"
"Yeah, it was him. He's jail."
"What?!" shouted 3.
"How? Why?" asked 4.
"Apparently he hospitalized two street gangs."
"HOW?!" 3 and 4 shouted in unison.
"From the sounds of it, he walked right in to the middle of their armed turf war and decided to have some 'fun'."
"..."
"Which is really disappointing since he PROMISED me he wouldn't hurt anyone. I am going to give him such an ear full when I bail him out!"
"But he hospitalized them?" asked 3. "Not the other way around?!"
"This is what happens when you talk an ancient viking, a warrior, a conqueror, and introduce him to modern warfare!"
"Well ignoring the shocking implications of this, I say it's time to get down to brass tacks. Want us to tell you what's really happening? Why WE brought you in?"
"Yes! Please."
"For a while now we've been receiving some weird signals coming from New York."
"Show me!" Dipper ordered.
"Certainly, if you would just follow us to the console..."
The little 'mini-hims' lead him to a copper constructed console with a radar screen in the center. On the screen was a violet blip on the screen but it was fading in and out inconsistently.
"Do you think it could have anything to do with Bill's home dimension? Like maybe it's trying to reopen or something?" Dipper asked.
3 and 4 shook their heads 'no' in unison.
"No. You see we have readings from back then too."
"And they're nothing like this. Look, we printed out a data sheets for you."
3 handed Dipper a beige folder.
"You'll find readings from when Grunkle Stan opened the portal, when Great Uncle Stanford dismantled the portal, when Bill opened the rift, and from when everything got sucked back in to the sky."
4 pulled a data sheet from under his hat and handed that to Dipper as well.
"And these are the readings we took of New York just yesterday. These readings don't match up with each other at all."
"And yet there's a familiar vibe coming from the readings from New York. It's almost like whatever is going in New York is trying to be more like Gravity Falls but it doesn't know how."
"Like it's reaching out to it."
"I've heard enough, bring me all the data you have on Gravity Falls. There's something here we're not seeing!"
Pacifica couldn't believe how much her luck had taken a turn for the worse. It was like her fever was flickering, she was perfectly fine one second and then her fever was back in full swing the next.
"This is ridiculous! Either be sick or not body! Make up your mind, you can't have it both ways!"
She flung her legs over the side of her bed carelessly and got herself up. Her head swam one minute and then was completely fine the next.
"Wait... why did I want to get up? Food maybe? I'm going to say food."
She wobbled her way to the kitchen nook and opened a cabinet. "No more popcorn? Oh yeah, I ate all the popcorn. I knew that! Why did I bother? This couldn't have been why I wanted to get up! Why did I want to get up?!"
She swayed to the left but quickly caught herself. She balled up her fists and stomped her foot on the ground.
"This is all Dipper's fault! He said I was out of the woods but here I am suffering! And where is he? Nerding it up with some scientists! Well he can't do that with me-er TO me! Yeah! I'm going to find him and then I'm going to give him a piece of my-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"
Dipper looked back and forth between the papers in his hands.
"This is so frustrating! It feels like the answer is right in front of our faces and we're not seeing it."
3 and 4 were laying down on the ground with a mass of their data sheets spread around them on the floor.
"We've crossed referenced these things with each other nearly a dozen times!" whined 3.
"Maybe we need a fresher scan of Gravity Falls?" offered 4.
"I suppose it couldn't hurt..." Dipper mused.
"THERE YOU ARE!" shouted a new voice.
"What the... Pacifica?"
Pacifica, still dressed in nothing but her bathrobe and pjs, walked right over to Dipper. She extended her arm in to a clothesline and hooked her arm around his neck dragging him off. 3 and 4 watched in confusion as this blonde stranger walked off with Dipper by the neck.
For them and any others who just so happened to be watching this odd little scene she offered no further explanation then saying "This belongs to me now!"
(A/N: You have no idea how long I've wanted to type that scene. If I could get fanart one day of Pacifica dragging Dipper off like that and saying that line... then I could die a happy man.)
"Who's that?" 3 asked.
"I don't know. Probably somebody Dipper met AFTER the night we were printed out."
"She's not Wendy, that's for sure."
"You can say that again."
She dragged him in to a corner of the room where she set him in front of her and gave him her most serious look. However, the puffiness of her cheeks had returned thus killing any dread her look would instill.
"Pacifica, what are you doing here? I thought you would still be in the RV! What happened? Did you run out of th..."
"You've got a lot of nerve mister! Just leaving me alone there *hic* all by myself!"
"Did you just hiccup?"
"Yeah I hiccuped! And you want to know why?! I'm starting to suffer a relapse and you're not back at the RV to take care of me!"
"A relapse? No, if anything it would be more likely the magical flu's last futile attempt at fighting back before dying off."
"Great! Now take me back to the RV and take care of me! I'm too weak to just sit through it by myself."
"Wait, so you're saying you're too weak for that and yet you were still strong enough to drag me across the room?"
She glared at him, clearly annoyed, but once again her puffed up cheeks just made the scene adorably hilarious to Dipper.
"Shut up and take care of me!"
Omake
"Wait Pacifica, how did you even get in here?"
"It wasn't hard. That bobble head was the only thing I recognized in that gift shop."
"But what about the security system?!"
Pacifica cocked her head to the side and gave him a confused look. "There's a security system?"
"...Yes Pacifica! Like the motion detecting lasers?!"
Flashback
Pacifica was half asleep as she walked in the room with the lasers. She snored loudly as her limbs flailed about in every direction.
The lasers tried to hit her but with her body flailing about in every which way they missed every time.
End Flashback
Dipper felt his eye twitch as Pacifica finished her explanation with a shrug.
"Well what about the pass code?!"
"Well..."
Flashback
Pacifica snored loudly again as this time she fell forward, her face slamming on to the number pad.
As she slid off of it the screen flashed 'ACCEPTED'.
End Flashback
"Well I guess that would explain why you have a number three indented on your cheek."
"...Shut up and take care of me."
That's it for now. I would normally say something along the lines of 'I got in all the things I've wanted' but the truth is I've actually forgot about a couple of things. Oops. Well I'll just find a way to put them in to the next chapter somehow. What did you think of the chapter? Let me know in the reviews.