I admit this story is taking longer than I anticipated but I'm still having fun and I hope you are too. Happy Valentine's Day to Everyone. Start the fic.
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Pacifica had spent the past hour 'introducing' Dipper to her old friends. Of course they were also on the look out for Julian but so far the man was a total no show. Dipper was rather tense every time Pacifica referred to him as her 'husband' but it also made him kind of happy. Of course there was the occasional question like "Where are the rings?" or "How come we didn't hear about it?" but Pacifica had an answer for each and everyone. "The rings are being encrusted with diamond encrusted diamonds." or Dipper's favorite "Daddy, didn't approve so we eloped." She did let everyone know that the 'riffraff' named Julian was trying to sneak his way in and if they were to see a man matching the descriptions they tell them to come and find them immediately.
"I can't believe how much all rich people know each other." Dipper mused.
"Hey! Not all rich people know each other! I never even knew about Julian OR Diana before this case! And most of these people here I only know through my parents."
"Except for the ones you met on your world tour during your wonder years."
"Except them." Pacifica deadpanned.
Speaking of whom, the woman Pacifica had pointed out earlier named Joanne was headed straight for them. It was strange but for some reason couldn't place exactly what country she was from.
'Maybe I'm overworked. Pacifica might be right, I could use a dai oof... Jimminy Cricket! I can't even THINK the words right!' Dipper mentally cursed.
"Joanne!" Pacifica continued her greeting in a language Dipper didn't understand. She looked to Dipper and continued "Dipper, this is my old friend Joanne. She's from..."
"Watch it, ya mook!"
The sound of the new voice immediately captured Dipper's attention. That was definitely Julian's voice. Turning his head he saw Julian talking to the doorman with some rather aggressive body language being thrown.
"This suit is more than what you make in a year! I prefer to be unannounced and that's the way its going to stay! Understand?!"
"Dipper!" Pacifica chirped bringing Dipper back down to Earth. "You were just very rude to Joanne. She left because of you. What's wrong?"
He looked down at her only to be greeted with the weakness he had been developing since he reunited with her.
'ACK! Doe eyes! Oh geez, they're pulling me in like a couple of black holes! Get it together, Dipper!' He shook his head to snap himself back to his senses. "Pacifica! Our perp just showed up!"
Pacifica's expression quickly turned serious. "Where?"
Dipper started to point where he saw Julian but the man was gone. "Shoot! Okay, here's what we do! I'll go looking for him while you maintain the perimeter here, keep everybody on alert."
Pacifica nodded in agreement.
*KNOCK!**KNOCK!**KNOCK!*
The NOT-so-gentle knocking of a window announced to the detectives the arrival of the Love God with their gear.
"Looks like we can finally suit up." announced Pacifica.
"Uh huh." Dipper barely heard her, his head was still pointed out the room. "I need you to go find him now, while he's still close. You get our gear!"
"On it, partner. Stay safe out there."
Dipper nodded and raced out of the room.
She walked to the Love God's window and opened it for him. He practically threw the gear at her.
"Hey! What the Heck?!" Pacifica snapped as she caught the gear.
"Sorry, I've just been having a rough night. What if the bikers and their attitude, and me finding every single thorn bush to try and 'stay low'."
"I feel so sorry for you."
"While I don't appreciate the sarcasm I'm going to let it slide tonight."
Pacifica raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Because tonight, little lady, is going to be one of the most memorable nights of your life! I'm not supposed to tell you this but the shipper in me is just too strong tonight!"
"What are blabbering about?!"
"Your main man Dipper. He's decided to make a move on you tonight!"
"What?!" Pacifica dropped all of the gear out of her arms.
"Yeah, he's decided this 'romantic tension' thing you two have going on is counterproductive. He's owned up to his feelings for you, maybe its about time you did too."
"I don't have feelings for Dipper! I can't!"
"Because?"
The Love God suddenly seemed different from the arrogant jerk he usually presented himself as. Yes he was leaning on the windowsill like a jerk but he was void of the usual smugness he seemed to weaponize. He actually looked like the kind of person who would hear every word you would say and be willing to help you with your problem in any way he could. It actually caught her off guard.
"Because...because... Well because he's DIPPER! Why, out of all the people in my life, should it be HIM that I fall in love with?!"
"Pacifica, Sweetie, listen to me. I've been in this love business for an awful long time and if I've learned anything it is this: When it comes to love the question is never "Why?" but "Why not?". So Pacifica Elise Northwest, let me ask you, without any mocking or teasing undertones, 'Why NOT Dipper?'"
Pacifica's mind scrambled for an answer but try as she might she couldn't come up with an excusable answer.
Dipper had managed to trail Julian successfully but he couldn't confront him until he could secure Herbie. He was currently hiding around the corner, waiting for Julian
'Come on, ya slime ball.' Dipper thought. 'Come on, you piece of trash! I know you got Herbie on you, just show me where. The quicker this case is over the quicker I can get to my serious business with Pacifica. Should I make another chart for that? Focus Dipper!'
He was also mentally kicking himself for not getting his gear from the Love God, some flash bombs would be really useful at the moment. On the other hand, he had already written off the blitzkrieg plan as being too costly... so tailing it was.
Without warning Julian sharply turned around a corner. 'Shoot! I can't afford to lose him!'
Dipper raced down the hall and peered around the corner. Julian was at small desk with a flower vase placed on top of it. He was fiddling with something but Dipper couldn't quite make out was it was. Taking a chance, he quietly sneaked closer; he stuck close to the wall in the case there were any squeaky floorboards. From his inside tuxedo jacket Julian pulled out a piece of Tupperware with something jitterbugging around inside.
'So,' Dipper thought. 'THAT'S his plan. Plant the bug with the flowers and get Diana to come to them so it can bite her.'
Dipper was about to get closer but Julian opened the Tupperware just a bit and Herbie took full advantage of it. It pushed against the opening Julian had been starting to make and struggled to make it bigger; this caught Julian by surprise which was just enough of an advantage to lead Herbie to his freedom.
It shot out of the Tupperware and raced down the hall towards the ballroom. This was where things turned south for poor Dipper, because Julian decided to give chase to Herbie making him crash right in to Dipper without a second's notice. Instead of being a tangled mess they just sort of bounced off each other, landing Julian next the desk on the floor.
"Hey!" Julian snarled. "Watch where you're going ya mo-... wait. Don't I know you?"
"Uh Who? Me?"
"Yeah! You were that waiter at the restaurant!"
"No I wasn't!" flailed Dipper.
They both stood up. "Yes you were! I never forget a face!"
Dipper tried to find a feasible excuse but his mind was drawing a blank.
"Who are you, really?"
'I guess the jig is up!' thought Dipper.
"I am Detective Pines, and YOU Julian are under arrest! For the crimes of theft..."
*SMASH!*
Julian had used the nearby vase as a make shift weapon against Dipper's head, who instantly fell to his knees.
As Dipper struggled to get to his feet, Julian was already racing down the hall with a laugh of "Take THAT ya pig!"
He activated his earpiece. "Pacifica," he winced. "I blew it! Julian is on to us now! He accidentally let Herbie out and they're BOTH headed your way!"
"What about you?" her voice came through a bit scratchy. The ear radio must have taken the blunt of the damage.
"I got hit in the head with a vase. I'll join you but I need a minute. Be ready!"
Dipper rubbed his head tenderly. It didn't look like he was bleeding so he guessed he lucked out there.
Still kind of woozy he ran down the hallway in a zigzagging line not of his own choice. He made it to the entrance and found Pacifica actually waiting for him.
"Pacifica? Did you... catch Julian already?"
She had an embarrassed frown on and looked at him with an almost apologetic look.
"Uh no, I sort of got intercepted by an old... acquaintance."
"Why would THIS stop you?"
"Pacificaaaa ." called a voice.
"Because she's a total pain in my butt!" Pacifica deadpanned.
A ginger haired woman who was even taller than even Dipper himself sauntered over to them. She was absurdly tall, even Dipper had to look up to her, and the bright sequins on her silver dress hurt his eyes.
"There you are- Oh! This must be the man himself! Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Heather. When I overheard the news that a Northwest, let alone my old academy pal Pacifica, had herself marry common rube I could hardly believe it. With the Northwest family being richer than ever I thought for sure Pacifica would aim for something of the likes of a prince of some far off country. Still..." The woman eyed him up and down. "I suppose there is SOMETHING here, you do have a certain lower class rugged charm. Very well," she held out her hand to him. "you may ask me to dance."
Dipper looked at the woman and then back at Pacifica. She looked absolutely miserable, this woman was no friend to Pacifica. He looked back at the woman and gave her a dirty look.
"Well gee, as flattered as I might be I try to make it a personal promise to myself to never dance with trash. Now I could stand here and gab with you all night but I have decided that I simply can NOT spend my evening with any woman other than Pacifica Elise Northwest... Uh Pines!" Dipper had needed a moment to remember his cover. "And we have many other things to do tonight so we're both going to have to say see ya later!"
Dipper lead Pacifica away to a corner of the room leaving Heather stunned and open mouthed.
"Pacifica, what was that all about? Exactly who is 'Heather'?"
"Heather is a huge pain in my butt from back when I went to a fancy rich person academy. Her family always comes in second place to mine in just about everything so she tries to make me miserable in any and every way possible whenever she gets the chance."
"Charming."
"I absolutely HATE her!"
"She's really that bad?"
"Let me put it to you this way. She'd be a good match for Julian."
Dipper winced. "Ouch."
"The worst part is, I honestly believe I would have become exactly like her if I hadn't met you and Mabel all those years ago."
He gave her a little nudge.
"Well I guess some girls just aren't as lucky as you are."
Pacifica smiled, a little more than she wanted to. "Yeah, okay maybe you have a point." She moved a little closer to him. "You know, not many guys have the backbone to insult Heather to her face like that."
Dipper returned the smile. "Well, I had to do something. She was clearly bothering one of my best friends. I mean we've always been friends but after all we've been through, you're right up there with Mabel and Soos."
She playfully raised an eyebrow. "And Wendy?" Whether he knew it or not, Pacifica was testing some waters with him. Everybody in Gravity Falls knew about Dipper having a crush on Wendy when he was twelve but this beckoned a few questions. Was there still anything there? How did Pacifica stack up? Was Wendy even a factor.
Dipper bounced his head a little in thought. "Yeah, her too. The thing is though, you and I have been through more adventures and more tough times."
"I suppose." Pacifica shyly admitted. "We have only been adventuring for six months though."
Dipper gave her a shocked expression. "Six months?! Pacifica it's been three years!"
"What?!"
"Yes! Think about it! Three years, six birthdays between the two of us, three years!"
This shook Pacifica to the core, it wasn't horrible news but she still felt like she needed to sit down. "Three years..."
"Yeah, I guess time flies when you're solving cases with good company."
"Cases...Cases! That's right! Heather was being such a pest I didn't even notice Julian come in!"
"We've got to find him!"
Pacifica handed him his gear. "Here's your things."
"Where's your gun?"
"I made an ankle strap for it. Now if we hurry we might just be able to catch him!"
"Right! You take the right side of the room and I'll take the left. See if you can get your rich allies to help us!"
The two set out right away praying they weren't too late.
It didn't take Dipper long to have his jacket and fedora back on. The people were surprisingly easy to navigate pass, they must have been part of Pacifica's old inner circle. Then he saw him, Julian was in the corner of the room with a piece of paper and a plastic cup. He was leaning towards another one of flowered vases like he was ready to snatch something.
'He found the bug! I have to move!'
Dipper was ready to charge Julian when suddenly he was blinded by a sequin's dress appearing in front of him.
"You've got a lot of nerve 'Mr. Man'! Nobody talks to ME like that and gets away with it!"
"Listen, Heather was it? I really don't have time for whatever 'this' is but maybe if you come back later and..."
"Oh no! You can't fool me! That Diana thinks she can humiliate me by inviting the compassionate rich people to look down on those like myself to shame me in to helping the lower to middle class!"
"...What?!"
"Don't play dumb! Why else would she invite me?! Well the jokes on you! Because I brought back up!"
"...What?"
Heather placed her fingers in to her mouth and sharply whistled. At first nothing happened, but then the ground started to tremble and the punch bowl on the nearby table started to shake.
Then a stampede of people flooded into the room. Everything happened so fast but Dipper could just barely make out some fancy clothes on them. These were rich people too, party crashers.
The butler from early stared helplessly at the people flooding in but did his best to recover his composure. "And now announcing... Uh... Now announcing...Oh forget it! I quit!"
The invited guests were also caught off guard by Heather's back up, they were starting to fill up the room as well. Nothing could have prepared Dipper for what he was about to see next though.
"WOO HOO! MOSH PIT!"
"Love God?"
The Love God was riding the top of the mob like a mobile mosh pit. The rich people who were already in the room looked about as clueless as Dipper was. He squinted to try and see through the rush of people where Julian was. Dipper could just barely make him out, he had successfully snatched Herbie with his plastic plate and piece of paper but he too was soon caught up in the flood of people and taken helplessly out of Dipper's sight.
Dipper stared helplessly at Heather, then at the people, then back to Heather.
"You dumb diva... You have no idea what you've just done."
"What I've done is defended MY reputation you horrid..."
Dipper rolled his eyes. This kind of hoity toity attitude was actually exactly what he needed to bring him back to his senses. This woman and her ego were going to be an obstacle to their entire case unless he did something. He reached over to the nearby snack table and grabbed a glass of punch, he quickly tossed the contents on to Heather's dress. It looked like it took every ounce of her not to scream at such an action.
"Believe it or not Long Legs, I have more important things to do tonight than attending to your ego! So if I were you I'd go attend to that stained dress of yours and stay out of our business! I swear, if I see you again tonight I will arrest you for obstruction of justice!"
"Obstruction of justice my foot! Don't act like you're a..."
Dipper flashed her his badge shutting her up almost instantly.
"I don't want to see you again! Understand?!"
Dipper left her speechless as he tried to cut through the crowd to find Pacifica. The crowd was pretty thick, it didn't take long before he simply gave up and tried it the easy way with his earpiece. "Pacifica, do you read me?"
"Dipper?" Pacifica's voice pierced through the static. The ear piece must have been more damaged than he thought. "What happened? Where did all these people come from?"
"Heather had an army of party crashers lying in wait in case somebody called her out."
"Yeah..." Pacifica sighed. "That sounds like Heather."
"What is wrong with her?!"
"She has some kind of weird inferiority complex. An army of snobs isn't what I would call unheard of for her. I doubt our hostess is going to appreciate it though."
"Listen, I had Julian in my sights but Heather ruined everything. Last I saw, he caught Herbie using a plastic cup and a piece of paper."
"Wait! Did you say a plastic cup?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I think I got this!"
"Always means forever! Alwaaaaaaaaaays!"
There was a sound of plastic breaking followed by a shout of "NOOOO! COME BACK!"
"What was that?" asked Dipper.
"Yeah, I break plastic cups with my singing."
"I...What? Since when?"
"Since I was twelve. What? Mabel never told you that? I did that on, like, the first night I met her."
"No! She never told me once! Pacifica..."
"Yes?"
"You are the most amazing woman ever!"
"Dipper! You're going to make me blush!"
*BZZZZZZZZZ!*
"Gotta go, Pacifica! Herbie just flew over my head!"
"I'll meet you in the hallway!"
Dipper struggled but he managed to cut through the crowd out of the room. Luck was finally on his side as he not only made it through but Herbie flew right past him. He made mad grabs at the bug only snatched air until...
"I got it." Dipper stated in a stunned stupor. A smile started to creep on to his face, he wasn't expecting to actually catch it. "I actually got it!"
It was then that Pacifica appeared at the end of the hallway. "This is great! We can hand this guy off to the Love God, arrest Julian, and call it a night! HEY!" Dipper called out. "PACIFICA! I GOT THE-OW!"
Dipper's luck had officially done a 180. Herbie, disliking the intensity of Dipper's grip, had bitten down on Dipper's hand with his very large pincers.
Herbie's plan had worked, he was free now, but Dipper had been looking directly at Pacifica during the time of the bite.
Dipper's eyes were replaced with giant hearts.
Pretty woman! Walking down the street!
As Dipper looked at Pacifica, her entire image was surrounded by a pink puffy cloud substance.
Pretty woman! The kind I'd like to meet!
His jaw dropped and a huge dopey grin appeared on his face.
Pacifica was trying to figure out what Dipper was doing when suddenly he sprinted right at her. Before she could even react Dipper grabbed her in to a hug and spun her around.
"Whoa! What's happening right now?!"
"Pacifica Elise Northwest you're the most beautiful woman to ever exist and I can't lie to myself about how I feel about you any longer!"
"What?"
"I love you! I already told you that you're the most amazing woman ever but you deserve to know why too!"
"What?"
"You're not only beautiful but you're clever too, super resourceful, kinder than you look, and have a dry wit that keeps me coming back for more. I feel really lucky to be living everyday with you. To grow old with you would truly be the gift of a lifetime!"
"...What?! Dipper what is wrong wit- Oh no. You got bit by the bug didn't you?!"
"You're so smart. That's exactly what happened but so what? A bug bite doesn't make anything that I've said any less true."
"No, no, no, no, no! Dipper, listen to me! This isn't YOU right now! These feelings aren't your own, they're just the bug bite!"
"How can they not be 'my own' if you already knew I was going to ask you out tonight?"
"Wait!" She slipped out of his grasp. "How did you know I knew?"
"I didn't." he smiled. "The Love God just seems like the kind of turd who would reveal such private tactics."
"...That adds up."
"You seem stressed."
"Ya think?!"
"Would you like to sit down for a bit? Do you think punch would help? By which I mean would you like some?"
She raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a look. "I'm good! Wish I could say the same for you! You're going to make this job difficult if all of your thoughts are filled with me for the rest of the night!"
"Oh Pacifica, my thoughts have been filled with you way before the bug bite... your blush is cute. I do have a sense you'd rather have business before pleasure so tell me... Did you see in what direction little Herbie flew off in?"
More people started to enter the hallway as Pacifica scanned the hallway. "No! I didn't even think to look for him!" She sat down with her back to the wall. "Shoot! I was so distracted by you sprinting right at me I completely forgot about the bug!"
"Hey, hey." Dipper put a hand on her shoulder. "Everything's okay! We'll get Herbie to the Love God, arrest Julian, and then retire to the RV where I can serenade you with my sousaphone... you know, if you want. I know you don't like it when I play it when you're in the shower but I've never really heard you complain about it outside of that."
Pacifica smiled a little and stood up. "Thanks Dipper."
"Anything for you, Sweetheart. My heart might be beating extra fast right now but know that no matter what I will always support you. We're partners after all, right?"
Her smile got a little bigger and nodded. "Right!"
"Tomorrow's another day. We wrap this up tonight and I promise you we'll spend the whole day doing nothing but playing Dungeons, Dungeons, & More Dungeons. I know how much you love to play that."
"I really do!"
It was at this moment both of them noticed they were getting some curious stares from some people who were entering the hallway. Their cover was in jeopardy.
Looking at each other simultaneously, Pacifica read Dipper's mind and was immediately against his idea.
"Do not snuggle me! Do NOT snuggle me! DO! NOT! SNUGGLE! M-you're snuggling me, aren't you?"
Dipper's arms were wrapped around her and he was resting his head on top of hers lovingly.
"If you think it doesn't make convincing cover to the story you established then push me off." clarified Dipper.
She blushed furiously.
"...God... damn it!"
Omake
The Love God smirked at the sight before him. "Well, well, well. What have we here?"
"Love God! Dipper, got bit! And I can't get him TO LET GO!" squirmed Pacifica.
"Crazy idea here, but have you tried asking him NICELY to let you go?"
"Are you kidding me?" Pacifica deadpanned. "You don't actually expect that to work do you?"
"What do you have to lose?" challenged the Love God.
"Fine! Dipper, 'Darling', do you think that maybe, possibly, you could pretty please let me go?"
"Okay." Dipper let go of her and she fell to the floor. *THUD!* "We need to find that bug anyways-Oh! You fell on the floor. That was my fault wasn't it? I'm sorry!"
Dipper helped Pacifica to her feet and handed her a rose from a nearby potted vase.
"I'll search the hallways for the bug while you try to find Diana. She has to be here somewhere! Until then," Dipper handed the rose to Pacifica. "stay beautiful!"
Dipper raced off practically walking on air.
The Love God folded his arms as he watched Dipper run off. "Huh. He's still on mission, that's actually kind of impressive. What do you think? Pacifica?"
Pacifica inhaled deeply smelling the scent of the rose.
*SNAP!*
"Huh?! What?! Oh! I'm sorry! Did you say something?"
"Not quite what you expected is it?"
"Honestly, no. I thought for sure he'd be hitting on me or trying to get in to my pants but he's actually been really sweet to me. Definitely overattentive but still very nice."
The Love God stared at her suspiciously for a moment.
"Wait! Did you WANT him to try and get in to your pants?"
"Ye-NO! SHUT UP!"
That's it for now. I hope you all like fluff. Longest omake ever. Woof! If there was anything about this chapter you enjoyed or had a favorite part then please tell me in a review.