Looks like I fell out of 's good graces again. Crap! Please leave a review anyways. Start the fic.
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Dipper and Ford took a moment to inspect their new outfits.
"Not much seems to have changed."
"For you maybe. I think I've been upgraded."
Dipper's outfit did look a little different from when he was twelve. He seemed to have some pantaloons to go along with his tunic and there were pouches on his now.
"Well of course you upgraded, you've grown up. You're an adult now!"
It did feel like Dipper was supposed to have a sword and shield but that didn't concern him. No. There was only one thing he couldn't get off his mind.
"I don't get it. Where's Pacifica?"
"That's… a really good question! She wagered her soul just like us so she should be in the game too. I suppose we'll meet her in a tavern or something. This time really is different, we should do an inventory check!"
Dipper still had his gear, but the game had changed it. His dinosaur fang dagger was now a flaming dragon sword, his smoke bombs were medieval hand grenades, and his gun….
"Oh this is terrible!"
His gun was now a crossbow. A green one! There was twenty-one arrows that went with it; three colors for seven arrows, green, red, and cyan. There was also a long, damp vine curled up like a rope or an Indiana Jones whip.
"Looks like good equipment to me."
"You don't understand, Ford. I'm familiar with my gun, but this? This is an entirely different kind of weapon. How do I even load it?!"
"I could help you with that… If you want?"
Ford seemed a bit apprehensive about his offer but somehow that just made Dipper appreciate it more.
"That… would actually be a big help. I'd appreciate that."
Dipper smiled at Ford who returned it.
Thankfully crossbows were simple to load so it didn't take too long. They transversed through a vine covered stone arch, finding the path ahead of them even damper.
"THERE YOU ARE!"
The sound of something large falling into the swampy water followed this shout immediately. It sounded like it landed in the shadowy corner to their right.
"Pacifica? Is that you?" asked Dipper.
"Yes, but I'm not ready for you to see me just yet."
"What do you mean?"
"I thought the Grim Reaper was going to transform me into my own character like he did to you two. Heal my leg up to make it fair… but he did something 'else' to me instead."
"You mean you're not your character Actu-Attainabelle?"
"I'm not even human class, Dipper."
"Oh Paz, I don't mind if you're goblin class or even ogre class. You're still my girlfriend."
"…Okay, just brace yourself. I'm not crazy about this form myself and I didn't ask to be poofed in away from you guys. And…"
"Pacifica, it's okay." Dipper smiled reassuringly. "Nothing will change."
Pacifica inched herself into the light. Pacifica wasn't even human; her skin was covered in yellow scales, her bottom half was replaced with a snake tail, but the most terrifying about her was hair was replaced with a whole nest of yellow snakes.
"I'm not even human! I'm a Gorgon class. I guess the Grim Reaper didn't want to heal my leg (makes sense really, given his job) so I guess he decided he wouldn't have to put up with it if I had no legs." Pacifica hung her head in shame. "So yeah, that's why your once pretty girlfriend now has scales on her face and snakes on her head."
Dipper lovingly rolled his eyes and cupped Pacifica's cheeks to make her look him in the eye.
"I've told you this once and I'm telling it to you again: You're more than a pretty face!"
'…. When I'm human again… and my leg is healed… I swear to God, I am going to rock his world!' thought Pacifica.
"Dipper? Can you come closer for a moment."
"Uh sure Paz, what's up?"
As soon as Dipper leaned closer, Pacifica pounced.
She was dipping Dipper giving him a big wet one right on his lips. This alone would have been fine but the snakes on Pacifica's head started joining in on the act. Each little snake was somehow kissing Dipper as well, specifically on the cheeks and his forehead. An impressive act, considering they didn't have lips.
Just when Dipper was starting to get a little concerned about air, that was when Pacifica broke the kiss.
Dipper gasped for breath and stood up with a smile on his face.
'I get it, Mike Wazowski… I get it.'
"Come on, you two." Ford sighed. "Either get it together or find a prison cell. There's plenty."
Dipper and Pacifica shared a smile and followed after Ford.
"Why does this dungeon have to a Swamp Dungeon to begin with?! It's gross!"
"It makes sense if you think about it. Considering what's at stake and lively hood could go either way; a swamp where you either get out alive or somehow killed along the way IS somehow appropriate."
They walked along silently until the point where Pacifica noticed the silence was strained. Then she figured it out. She was being a third wheel; they had things to say but a third-party member can make such things incredibly awkward. She couldn't just leave though, so she took out her dice and rolled.
"I cast a shrinking spell!"
"Wait, what?"
The dice rolled on the ground, and she hit a twelve. She shrunk down to a size where she would just barely be too large to be considered pocket sized.
Of course, Dipper didn't miss a single beat of this, but he was more curious than concerned.
"Pacifica why are you doing this?" Dipper asked.
"Hold that thought." Pacifica declared. She slithered up his leg, to his surprise she slithered under his tunic and up to his neck hole and popped out. "Bam! I'm the cutest Xenomorph ever!"
She turned to face Dipper. "Now then; I feel like you two some alone time, but I can't really leave. So, I'm going to hide in your shirt…" Dipper didn't think it was possible to blush harder than he already was but here he was discovering new shades of red. "Out of sight, out of mind. I'll do my best to tune you two out except for when it's my turn to roll dice. Just pretend I'm not here, Stud."
"Stud? Pacifica, I know we've been… 'good' lately but you're getting a little more aggressive with the flirtations than usual. Are you okay?"
"Well first off, I still really enjoy what you said to me." Pacifica gave Dipper a tiny peck on the lips. "Second, as a snake monster I'm kind of cold blooded and if you recall your character tends to run hot."
"Huh?"
"The last game we played of it, remember? To survive the brisk wind chill of the mountains you had rolled to permanently increase your characters body heat."
"…Oh yeah."
"Yeah, you look comfortable to me right now."
She slithered up to his ear and whispered. "Start things off with a compliment."
To her surprise, Dipper giggled. "Pacifica, I think you have a forked tongue now. It tickles!"
Pacifica stretched to look Dipper in his eyes. "You can't tell me you didn't notice…"
"Well now that you bring it up, there was something different about that kiss."
Pacifica proudly hissed out her forked tongue in approval.
"Oh, get a cell you two!" Ford irritably scowled. "No. Seriously, we're in a swamp 'dungeon'. You can find plenty."
"Why you…"
An angry hiss from Pacifica reminded Dipper to bite his tongue. "Right! Right. You're right." Dipper held out his collar for her. "In you go."
Pacifica slithered in with one last. "Believe in you, Baby."
Dipper walked up to Ford with an awkward grin on his face. "Uh… let's get this started."
Ford merely nodded and they proceeded to walk along.
"So… uh… Thanks for helping me with the crossbow stuff… You're really good at that."
"… It wasn't a bother. I used such a weapon all the time in my multi-dimensional travels."
Because this was a swamp dungeon it was never part of the ordinary, but the one thing they weren't expecting to see was sewers.
"Yeah, I remember those adventures. Your stories about them were among my favorite things about you."
"R-Really? You actually liked my stories?"
"Of course I did! They were…"
*RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWR!*
"What was that?"
A nasty monster came running out snarling it's fangs.
"It's a Pristichampus!"
"It looks exactly like a Pristichampus would!"
Dipper's tunic rustled around his collar before Pacifica's voice came out.
"… I don't know what that is so I'm just going to stay in Dipper's shirt."
"Oh? I take it you're feeling coz…"
"Yes."
"This is a little odd though, isn't it?" asked Dipper. "I mean yeah, it's original and it did exist a really long time ago so I guess it would make sense for Death to use an extinct animal… but it's kind of bland for this game."
The Pristichampus opened it's mouth and let loose a stream of fire.
"Oh. It breathes fire. Okay. Now I'm on board."
"MY LIFE IS ON THE LINE HERE! COULD YOU PLEASE TAKE IT A BIT MORE SERIOUSLY?!"
"Right. Right! Sorry! Let's try this!"
Dipper shot off one of the green arrows for it to hit the beast in the leg. A green glob appeared where Dipper's arrow had hit sticking the beast to where it stood.
Ford rolled his own dice and shouted "I cast a banishment spell!"
He rolled a twenty-two and the beast disappeared in a flash of light.
"Ford! We only get one banishment roll per game! What if we needed that something bigger down the lane?!"
"Oh don't worry Dipper, I'm pretty sure the worst is behind us."
"Oh NO! Scorpion lobsters!"
Popping out of the water came horrible monsters that looked like they were a mix between scorpions and lobsters.
"I stand corrected."
Seventeen of these creatures clapped their giant, hideous claws aggressively at them. Their scorpion stingers were where there telsons and uropods should have been, so they were packing a lot of poison. They were easily bigger than a person's foot and with stinger included they went up to two feet.
"Okay, it's my turn. I cast Cork Missiles!"
Dipper rolled a fourteen and corks shot out of Dipper's hands and plugged the scorpion lobster's stingers.
"Well, that should handle the poison."
"I guess it's my turn now, right?" Pacifica's muffled voice came out of Dipper's tunic. "I find these things gross, and I'd rather not deal with them at all so I roll to hit them all with a freeze ray."
"Freeze ray isn't a thing in this game!" criticized Ford.
"It is when you 'Make Up The Rules'." defended Pacifica.
A pair of miniature dice fell out of Dipper's sleeve. "Oh sweet! A thirty-five!"
Pacifica slithered out of Dipper's tunic collar and thrusted her hands forward. A cyan laser beam shot out and hit the scorpion lobsters and the swamp the strode upon, incasing both in a layer of ice.
"Great. Now it's an ICE Swamp Dungeon."
Pacifica ignored Ford's criticism and slithered down to the ground to pick up her dice.
"OH! It's cold down here! Don't like this at all!"
She quickly picked up her own dice and slithered back to Dipper. Then, much to the surprise of everyone, she coiled back and sprung herself up to Dipper's neck gaining much more height than anyone would have suspected for someone of her small stature.
Dipper spasmed for a moment as she worked her way into his tunic again. "Hey! Easy there, girl! That tickles! Ha ha!"
"Oh I like it in here much better! Much warmer! I'm staying put!"
Ford chuckled at their dialogue. "Okay, cute talk aside… Grim Reaper is hitting us from some beasties I wouldn't expect. Scorpion lobsters were a first for me, who know wha-AAAGH!"
Ford slipped on some ice and fell on his butt. Dipper laughed.
"We're playing Dungeons, Dungeons, & Dungeons though. The question isn't is he going to hit us with some weird stuff, because… well, that's the game! The real question here is can we 'out-imaginative' Death?"
Ford thought deeply about it for a moment and then smirked.
Dipper offered Ford his hand. "On your feet, Old Man! We're not dead yet!"
Omake
Pacifica slithered out of his tunic's collar and propped herself up in the air just far enough to look at Dipper in his face.
"Dipper," Pacifica began, placing her hands behind her back in an innocent manner. "I've been doing some thinking and I've made a decision. I'm not going to bother you for a puppy anymore."
"What? Really?! That's amazing news!"
"Yep. So….. When can I have a diamond ring?"
"… Go back to asking for a puppy. GO BACK TO ASKING FOR A PUPPY!"
That's it for now. Originally I was going to have Pacifica still be in wheelchair but Monster Pacifica just seemed like the perfect fit. Could be the Five Shades in me but I've actually kind of missed Flirty Pacifica. I've never really played Dungeons & Dragons before so please give me a LITTLE slack on the gameplay. I was originally going to remove that first beasty but Pacifica's line about being cozy was so cute I had to keep it. I probably DID make you google Pristichampus so I apologize to you for that. I admit, I had a little too much fun with the idea of a game where you can just make up whatever, and "perchance" the characters might seem a little OOC for that, but I assure you, they'll be back to normal in the next chapter. If you liked this chapter, then let me hear about it.