Perhaps it was all the things left unsaid, but to Lorash, the quiet of dinners with Vori seemed deafening, no matter how much the twins prattled about their days or tried to needle her into saying something like pesky younger siblings were wont to. Tari seemed more sensitive to the change than Maladar was, her gaze always worried as it flicked from Vori to Lorash and back again. She hadn't spoken privately to Lorash since her return, since the opportunity hadn't really presented itself. Lorash made herself scarce most of the time, exploring Tython and her own abilities with Nabeila for company instead.

"What were you working on today, Lorash? Mal mentioned you had found an island for yourself," Vori asked.

"It's easier to focus when I'm alone," Lorash said. It wasn't a lie: being around Vori and the twins made her miss Eso and Yyrfh as well as Seia. "I assumed focusing was what you wanted." The waspish bite of her voice clearly didn't escape Tari, but it sailed straight over Maladar's notice. The female twi'lek tensed while her brother carried on wolfing down his stew like nothing was at all the matter.

Vori sighed and set down his spoon. "What draws your focus now?"

Lorash knew full well that her souring mood was hurting Vori. For at least the sake of her training with Nabeila, she needed to try and smooth it over. The last thing she needed was Vori forbidding her from running off. "Balance. I went over the text you gave me and decided I needed some peace and quiet to work out my thoughts about it." It was only a lie of omission: she had spent the morning combing over the carefully preserved holos of old Jedi texts and their translations, but with Nabeila filling in gaps and adding her own commentaries.

Her old master seemed to relax ever so slightly, no doubt relieved that they were actually starting to have a conversation without Lorash retreating into stony silence. "And what did you learn?"

"I used to think of serenity as the absence of chaos and noise, like still waters. Now I see the currents in it, the constant stirring beneath the surface. It is both moving and calm, a balance between competing forces." Lorash's thoughts tried to stray back to that moment on the balcony, but she forced her mind away. That was a place and a pain she could only go to when she was alone. "Focus, carefully applied. That is the core of Niman."

Vori's brow furrowed slightly. "I would rather you not take up a lightsaber, Lorash," he said softly.

"You're the one who gave me that staff."

"A staff is a defensive weapon, Lorash."

Lorash pressed her lips into a thin line of frustration. "What are jedi if not defenders of the weak, Master?" she said firmly. "The hand that tends the garden must know the saber, especially now that the Empire has tried to burn goodness to its root."

"A proverb from a far more martial era in Jedi history. We do not hold that place any longer, Lorash. To ever think we could was arrogance."

"If they came here, would you not fight tooth and nail to protect Maladar and Tari?" Lorash demanded, a snap to her tone again. "Do you think Corr only stuns his enemies in the Empire? Do you think his friends would stop at submission of the Dark Side's power, not its destruction?"

"Our place is to preserve wisdom, to keep the spark kindled. You know this."

"What good is a spark that never shines out its light?" Lorash felt the anger hit in a tide, but kept herself balanced upon it like a raft in a storming ocean. "Other people are suffering and dying to protect the scraps of good in this world. What use are jedi if all they do is abdicate their responsibilities and hide?"

"We are biding our time," Vori said firmly.

"Until when, Master?" She hardened. "Until the Empire is even on Tython? Until they have killed everyone who resists, until they have claimed every world and every heart?"

"She's not wrong, Vori," Corr said from behind Lorash, approaching with familiar footsteps at his side. "We could use a jedi knight in the fight."

"The kid's not ready." Merga's voice was unmistakable. "And if what Vori said is true, put her under pressure and she might crack right down the middle. Then the Dark Side comes waltzing in."

"I'm not a child," Lorash snapped, turning in her seat to glower at the bothan. Whatever fondness she felt for Merga was hard to connect with through the spite she felt at being treated like a disobedient youngling. Besides, she knew that his real critique was pointed squarely at Seia and the Dark Side corruption she represented.

"True enough. My error is perhaps in seeing the girl I found on Naboo rather than the young woman sitting in front of me," Vori said before Merga could retort. "You've lost so much innocence so quickly, Lorash."

"It's part of being in the world," Corr said. It felt strange to have him take her side when so often he seemed to be watching her like a hawk, waiting for any sign of darkness to crop up even though he lacked Vori's sense of her emotions. "That is something the Jedi of old understood, isn't it? Sometimes you have to face the shadow, not turn from it. Perhaps your padawan's path to reclaiming herself in the Light Side is by combating the darkness."

Vori sighed, looking from Lorash to Corr. "It exposes her to more evil, Corr. Seeing the Empire and the Sith for what they truly are…it changes a person."

"A perspective she needs to have," the arms dealer said firmly. "She is already changed by contact with it. Better that she see the truth of it than the fantasy."

Lorash prickled at that, but said nothing. Instead, she watched her master and the defeated reluctance flowering inside him like a wilted rose.

"Is this truly what you wish, Lorash?" Vori asked quietly. "To be a warrior of the Light? A defender of people, as it was in the old days?"

This was a potential opportunity to leave Tython, even if it meant being in Corr's company. She tempered herself with the thought of the training she still needed to complete. "When I am ready, yes. There are still lessons on Tython I need to learn."

"In that much, we are agreed," Vori said ruefully. "When you can demonstrate to me that you are ready and honed in the Light Side of the Force, you may serve as a jedi knight and assist Corr in his defense of those who cannot defend themselves. Just…" He sighed again and then straightened. "...promise me you will be the very soul of caution."

"I will be what they need me to be," Lorash said, heart softening slightly at the concern in Master Vori's expression. Whatever their differences of opinion, especially in this matter, she knew he only wanted to see her safe and well.

It is good you can see that now, Nabeila whispered in the depths of her mind. You have chosen a noble course, Lorash. To sacrifice for others…there is no worthier ambition. I hope you understand the cost, however. You will always be in danger, forever looking over your shoulder for an enemy coming out of every shadow.

Seia, Eso, and Yyrfh stood by me when the Empire was hunting me. I owe them the same courage they showed me. Besides, being Force sensitive already paints a target on my back. I might as well fight if they're going to come for me.

Lorash felt Nabeila's approval as a ripple of warmth through her body. Brave words. Just remember the good you serve, the expectations it holds for your conduct, and you will not falter.

The rest of dinner passed quietly, Vori looking tired and worn by their verbal sparring. Tari tugged on her lekku in that nervous way of hers, while Mal just kept his gaze fixed on his food. Merga didn't see fit to pitch in, glaring at Corr when the arms dealer sat down beside Lorash.

Once plates were cleared and the others had dispersed, Lorash looked over at the arms dealer, who was polishing away a little dust from his red cybernetic eye. "I didn't think you'd want me somewhere I might turn traitor."

Corr looked over at her, expression serious. "Anyone can be influenced to choose betrayal. That's not unique to jedi, even those exposed to the Sith and the Dark Side. Your abilities could be extremely helpful. The benefit outweighs the risk. When you're finished with your training, we'll talk more." He stood up and dusted himself off, then adjusted his blaster holster. "It won't be easy or simple. Right and wrong can be hard to tell from each other in a warzone, and that's where we'll be going. But if you stick to your master's teachings, you could do a lot of good. More than Master Vori realizes."

Lorash felt those mixed feelings surge up in the pit of her stomach, but again she balanced herself above them, letting them play out without giving them much attention. As angry as she was with Corr for abandoning Seia, he was also offering her the opportunity to stretch her wings in a way Vori never would on his own. "Deal."

Corr held out his hand to her, meeting her with a firm handshake once she'd matched his grip. For a moment, she thought she saw a glimmer of approval in his good eye at the strength in her hand. "I have a feeling that you're going to be a force to be reckoned with, Lorash. Perhaps you already are."

"Maybe we can spar sometime and you'll find out."

The arms dealer chuckled. "I might have to take you up on that someday. Preferably before I'm too old to get thrashed."

Lorash let go of his hand. "I'm going to go practice," she said. "I'd appreciate being left alone. The fewer people who know about my lightsaber training, the better."

"You won't be bothered by me or mine. Merga, however, is bound to stick his nose in something." Corr shook his head slightly and sighed. "He'll be harder to convince than Vori. That sith really rubbed him the wrong way."

"Her name is Seia," Lorash said, a hint of fierceness flashing across her face.

Corr dipped his head. "I recall. I apologize."

It was the first time he'd ever said anything like that. Lorash relaxed a little. "Do you know what happened to her or Zul?"

Corr tucked his thumbs behind his belt. "Szorda Zul is dead and I know his apprentice was badly wounded. He's more machine than man now, if what the reports say are true. I don't know what happened to Seia, I just know that no one's seen her since the casino. I suspect that if the Diadem isn't willing to tell me, she was taken by Imperial spies and the whole thing was hushed. It looks bad for the Empire to have a sith inquisitor off their leash."

"What about Eso and Yyrfh?" Lorash asked.

"Slippery, that young man. Last I heard, his ship was seen docking at Nar Shaddaa, but I don't know what he's up to these days," Corr said. "I was thinking about reaching out to him through contacts, if he's reliable. I wasn't joking when I said I needed someone with a good head on their shoulders and a better grasp on piloting."

Lorash felt a wave of relief. At least Eso and Yyrfh were out of trouble for the moment. "They're reliable," she promised. "And they're no friends of the Empire."

"Something to keep in mind, I suppose. Now go train, and train hard. I want to see progress by the next time I drop down on planet," Corr said. "I've got a shipment to run to some friends in a tight spot. The sooner Vori says you're ready, the sooner we can have a jedi knight on our side."

Lorash nodded and hurried away, back to Vori's ship. She grabbed the pieces of her lightsaber out of her room and tucked them into her satchel alongside the rocks. "What's the plan?" she whispered to Nabeila.

There is an old shrine I know up the side of the mountain due south of our current position. We will train there. A bit of a hike will do you good. Once we arrive, you will assemble the lightsaber and I will put you through your paces. I want to see how much you have learned from Seia and what still needs remedying.

The young woman smiled faintly at the plan, feeling a bubbling excitement that overwhelmed her old apprehension about hurting herself with a lightsaber. She was confident that Nabeila and the staff techniques she'd learned would keep her safe enough. She grabbed her bedroll and a set of spare clothes, just in case she ended up too tired to hike back.

"Where are you going, Lorash?" Tari asked from the doorway.

Lorash looked up, swinging the satchel over her shoulder as she grabbed her notebook full of Nabeila's commentaries on the holos from Vori. "To train."

"But it's getting late."

"The moons will be out. Besides, the animals on Tython have all been gentle."

Tari's brow furrowed. "I heard you and Corr talking," she said finally after a pause. "You knew an imperial inquisitor?"

"I ran into him a few times," Lorash admitted readily. "But I had protection."

"Not that one," Tari said, tugging on her lekku slightly with that nervous edge despite her firm expression. "You said her name was Seia."

Lorash sighed. She didn't know how to explain her romance to a ten-year-old. "She wasn't an imperial inquisitor. She was pretending to be one to protect all of us."

"Merga said she's one of the Sith." Tari even said the word fearfully, hushing on the name of the ancient enemy.

The young woman wracked her brain for an explanation Tari would understand after years of hearing stories about the dangers posed by the Dark Side. "It's more complicated than Merga says," Lorash said firmly. "Don't let him fill your head with nightmares."

Tari hesitated for a moment, watching Lorash intently. "You're so serious all the time now. Did she really hurt you that badly?"

"She didn't hurt me at all," Lorash said quietly, feeling herself tread closer to the wound than she really wanted to go right now. Seia's absence was like a rip in her psyche, an emptiness in her chest. It was hard to feel anything but pain when she thought about it. "Maybe if you meet her someday, you'll understand. Now I'm going to go, Tari. Stay here and look after Mal and Master Vori, okay? I'll be back either tonight or tomorrow."

Tari nodded, though she still looked intensely troubled as Lorash passed her out the door.

The young woman tried to put it out of her head as she headed for the hike up to the mountain shrine. Tython's two moons shed enough light that the gravelly, overgrown trail was possible to follow, trees cracking up between the paving stones of an old pathway complete in places with stairs. She climbed without her weights, honed muscles easily making their way up the steep incline. It wasn't until they were almost at the top that her calves had started to burn and her breath came shorter in her chest. She was at least four or five hours away from camp now, feeling lighter and freer without their questions hanging over her head.

The difficulty was very much keeping her mind focused in the moment. She made a mental note to bring Seia to Tython when they were together again. She wanted to give the sith a taste of the tranquility Seia had never really gotten a chance to experience, or maybe just a night of closeness under the twin moons. The trouble was that those thoughts invariably turned to all the things she missed and the gnawing worry about whether Seia was even still alive.

I am sorry, Lorash. I know the injustice that it was to lose her so soon.

"Thank you," Lorash murmured, turning to look at the shimmering Force ghost beside her. Nabeila was her company for this walk, even as her fingers itched to interlace with Seia's. "You're the only one who seems to."

Treasure your memories of your time with her, as difficult as it was at times. Sometimes that is all we have to cling to in our darkest moments: the memories of the ones we love.

"I'll see her again," Lorash said firmly. "One way or another."

Nabeila's shimmering blue figure smiled faintly as she took the next step, though there was a deep sorrow in the expression as well as hope. Wherever she is, I know that she feels fortunate beyond measure to have held your heart at all. She would not have called you 'asha' for anything less.

"She said something close to that." Lorash took a deep breath. "The distance hurts, but it also…I don't know. Outside of the heat of the moment, I think about it differently."

What do you mean?

"I feel like I took her for granted," Lorash admitted softly. "I just…I thought we would have more time and I spent so much of it so conflicted, when all I really wanted was to make her happy. I wasted it."

It is not an easy thing, balancing love and desire with the teachings of the Order. There is a reason Jedi do not pursue romance. It is so often selfish and plagued with attachment.

Lorash felt a lump form in her throat. "Hers wasn't," she said quietly. "When she had the choice…she let me go for my own good. She sacrificed her own happiness and safety for me."

Are you saying you would not do the same?

"I don't know if I'm that strong. If the choice had been mine, I would have stayed with her, even if it meant death or captivity."

Perhaps it is a lesson, then, in self-sacrificial love, Nabeila said gently, putting a hand on Lorash's shoulder as they neared the shrine. I can think of no greater example for one to impart, no matter how painful its message. Seia understood what it is to love better than even I credited her. Do not let that sacrifice be in vain, Lorash. Take it, carry it with you, and live out its example.