Thank you TheAlienHeart for your AWESOME reviews :D And LOL you're not petty, you're perceptive. But the short answer is yesss, it will just take a while. I work with mental health and my mind would never allow me to unrealistically solve his insecurities overnight OR using a relationship as an emotional crutch. I'd say there are some rather satisfying moments 'till we get there though haha. But yes, I love him so much and I absolutely root for him too so I get you. We'll get there. :) Also yes, other people will screw up lol.
Okay so this is a mostly a light-hearted chapter but my surf trip actually got postponed to the next weekend, so I think I'll probably publish more soon and a lot of stuff is about to go down!
Happy reading! :)
Something Just Like This
Raven had taken a shower, slept and meditated properly when she went back to the ops room to find everyone still talking about their multiverse adventure.
"And then Raven's hair turned white!" Kory squealed.
"Was it a greyish white, a silvery white or like a pearly white?" Jinx asked excitedly.
"Like a Targaryen white!"
Everyone nodded, oohed and aahed as if that made perfect sense. Beast Boy secretly wished he could have seen it, because she'd probably looked magnificent.
"Cool. I can see that." Kid Flash said casually.
Raven frowned slightly while she made herself some tea, wondering how which tone of white her hair turned was somehow the main topic of conversation.
"Hey Raven, heard you almost died. Glad you didn't!" Bumblebee waved at her.
"Thanks. Me too."
As she went to sit by the kitchen counter, Beast Boy pulled the chair for her. She gave him the tiniest appreciative smile and sat down with the warm mug in her hands. Everyone blinked in confusion, except Starfire who bit her lip and Terra, who just frowned uncomfortably.
"So what about you guys? Were things smooth here?" The empath changed the subject.
"Mostly." Speedy said. "One or two villains we easily took care of." He folded his arms behind his head leaning back on the couch.
Aqualad scoffed. "I wouldn't call that ea-"
"Hey man it wasn't my fault, okay?!" Speedy interrupted him.
The aquatic Titan shrugged. "Fine. If you say so."
"Hey Beast Boy, what's that? A souvenir?" Jinx pointed at the amulet around his neck, not at all interested in the quarrel between the two boys on the couch.
Garfield's cheeks blushed deeply. "Ah…y-yeah, something like that."
"Protection amulet against Limbo demons." Raven said quickly. It was almost true. It was protection against certain demons, just not Limbo's. "I'll actually need that back." She stretched out her hand and smirked. There's no way he's keeping that.
Beast Boy reluctantly gave her the amulet back. "Buzzkill." He whispered playfully.
"Anyway, we should probably go. It's late." Bumblebee said surely. "And…maybe next time there's a parallel Universe adventure, count me in? It sounds interesting."
"Will do. But I hope there isn't a next time." Raven stated and sipped her tea. Then she felt heartache emanating from Beast Boy. Shit. "I mean, it was fun. I don't regret anything. It's just that protecting one Universe is enough pressure."
His pain smoothed over and she relaxed and continued drinking her tea as the Titans East got ready to head back to their own quarters.
"I second that." Robin chuckled. "Anyway, thank you guys for taking care of things while we were gone." He waved as they left.
The next morning, Beast Boy made tea for Raven. Neither of them said anything unusual, but Starfire noticed they kept shooting each other cheeky looks during breakfast.
"I think I'm gonna ask Jinx out." Cyborg said to his best friend later while they played video games. They'd missed this part terribly. They had only been gone for five days, but they had been such intense days it felt like much longer.
"Go for it."
"Really? No lecture on what if she goes back to being a villain?"
"Nope. You like her. Go for it."
Cyborg frowned. "You know this doesn't apply to you, right?"
Garfield rolled his eyes. He wanted to brag about Raven so badly. "Yeah, I know. But that's one more reason to go for it. I can't, but you can. Hah! Gotcha."
Cyborg huffed when he lost the game, but decided to take Beast Boy's advice. Over the next few weeks, he and Jinx went on a few really good dates, but even that didn't stop him from noticing Beast Boy and Raven were acting weird around each other. Well, weirder.
But then again, that was impossible. Everyone noticed. Even the villains noticed. For starters, Beast Boy had a new favorite song. He would burst into the ops room singing Best Day of My Life (American Authors) nearly every morning while he danced around happily, and whenever he got to the danced with monsters through the night line, he winked at Raven. At first the others didn't notice, but it was a daily routine and Garfield wasn't exactly subtle, so eventually they picked up on it. The weirdest part though was her reaction. She usually rolled her eyes, but she didn't say anything. She didn't ask him what that was about and most importantly, she didn't seem annoyed. She just pulled her hood over her head and that was it. Except one day she didn't, and then they all saw it. Her cheeks turned pink.
Then there were the googly eyes. Raven would be reading and Beast Boy would be watching TV, and they kept glancing at each other in the weirdest way – like they had this huge secret no one else knew about. Not to mention Raven didn't scold him anymore, no matter what he did – at least not like she used to. When he did something annoying she stopped herself midway from calling him stupid and turned it into something like stupidly corny or stupidly short-sighted, depending on what he'd done. Like when he accidentally spilled vegan sauce on her because he had been waving it around while arguing with Cyborg and she looked mad for a second, but then she looked up at Beast Boy's sorry face and said it was okay.
Garfield often made her tea now, which she seemed grateful for. But that could be friendly. The weirdest part was that he started opening doors for her, and Raven rolled her eyes and pointed out she didn't even need to open doors because she could phase through them, but she never asked him why he was opening doors for her. His eyes lingered on her a lot too. And the others could swear they noticed her blushing under his gaze a few times. Not to mention whenever they accidentally touched, there was a moment when they stared at each other wide-eyed and inhaled sharply before going back to normal.
And then there was the fact that Beast Boy had been even more hyped than his usual self, much faster and stronger at training, and much more confident in general, which his buddies would usually praise but in this scenario they were afraid it could be a delusion-guided improvement. Cyborg and Robin had actually been teasing him a lot. They told him he should stop and that she probably had some mysterious reason for unintentionally leading him on but that he was running out of sympathy points putting himself in this situation.
"You know what? I'm sick of you two. You don't know that she doesn't like me. If she did like me, she couldn't act on it. So how would you know?" Garfield said to the other two boys.
Victor and Dick held back their laughter because they could tell they had upset him.
"C'mon man…I mean, sure. But…it's just not very likely, is it?" Cyborg chuckled apologetically.
"Sorry BB. I don't see it happening. Like, ever." Robin said in a relaxed manner while he flipped through the channels.
"It could happen." Garfield insisted. It DID happen, jerks.
"You're embarrassing yourself, dude."
"Not in a million years, man."
The shapeshifter grunted in frustration. "You two are the worst friends in the world!"
Of course it wasn't just them. Aqualad, Kid Flash and Speedy had noticed it too, but they didn't tease him about it as much because they simply weren't that close. That is, until that one Pizza Party when Jinx suggested some drinking game. Raven was worried, but it turned out she was good at the game and didn't really have to drink that much. Beast Boy had decided on never getting drunk again, but unfortunately he didn't do as well – probably because he had been too distracted noticing the way Raven's eyes sparkled when she was focused and strategizing – and was now a little light-headed. To be fair, he wasn't the only one. Most of them were a little tipsy by the time they decided to play Truth or Dare.
"So, Jinx. Are you and Cyborg, like, dating?" Aqualad wiggled his eyebrows at her after she picked truth.
Jinx just confidently turned to Cyborg. "Well, are we?"
The half-robot let out a few incomprehensible and confused sounds.
The enchantress smirked. "I guess we are. Yes."
Cyborg smiled dreamily. Raven felt heartache emanating from Bumblebee and Kid Flash.
"Speedy. Truth or Dare?" Jinx asked.
"Truth, I guess."
"Who's the most attractive person in the room?" She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you can't say yourself."
Jinx wasn't sure what she expected to accomplish, except to stir the pot somehow.
"Well that's not fair, too many great options." The archer smirked at every single girl in the room.
"Pick one."
"Hey, there's enough Speedy for all of you." Speedy leaned back on the chair. "Let me think. Starfire would be the obvious choice. Sorry Dick, it's the game."
Richard made a gesture to let him know it was fine. He'd seen it coming, really.
"But the rest of you girls are all fine too." The archer smirked again. And then he noticed Raven was rolling her eyes. "Yes, even you, witch girl."
Raven scoffed. These people were way too comfortable with her. What's happened to the fear? "My life's goal is complete." She said sarcastically.
"Raven is gorgeous." Starfire protested.
Raven cringed. She knew Kory was trying to help but she just wanted the conversation to move on to a different topic. She didn't care about this and it was starting to make her uncomfortable.
"I think exquisite is a better word." Jinx pondered, fully aware of how uncomfortable the empath was and once again hoping to stir the pot.
Robin thought it was time to help Raven. "Can we just change the subj-"
"I'd say alluring." Aqualad gave the empath a charming wink.
"More like hauntingly beautiful." Beast Boy muttered under his breath before his currently hazy brain could stop him.
Everyone's heads shot towards him. Well, except for Raven's. She was staring blankly at the ceiling, hoping staying silent would end this interaction faster. She would have pulled her hood over her head, but she had been dared to keep it down for the rest of the game by Bumblebee, so now she was just desperately trying to keep her cheeks from blushing.
Speedy leaned forward decisively and smiled. "All right, then. Beast Boy. Truth or Dare?"
Garfield thought about it. The last dare had Kid Flash wearing Starfire's clothes. He wasn't sure what Speedy had in mind but it would be embarrassing for sure. He didn't want to look stupid in front of Raven. "Truth."
Speedy's wicked smile grew wider. "Do you have a thing for Raven?"
Beast Boy's muscles tensed up. Shit. Shit shit shit. He didn't want more people to have this information to use against him.
"What kind of a stupid question is that?" Raven huffed. "Of course not."
"I think he needs to answer for himself, Raven." The archer chuckled.
"Fine, whatever." She turned her warning gaze to Beast Boy.
Garfield cleared his throat. You have to lie. Just lie. "No."
At least five of these people knew he was lying.
"Really?" Speedy asked skeptically.
"Yeah really! Obviously. I mean, you know, ew."
Raven frowned slightly.
"Ew? I thought she was hauntingly beautiful." Bumblebee teased him friendly, resting her chin on her hands.
Lie better, Garfield. "Yeah well so are jellyfishes but you don't go near those! I mean, she's creepy. I'd be freaked, so no way!"
"That's a bit uncalled for." Raven muttered. She knew he didn't mean it, but it still stung a bit.
Beast Boy looked at her with wide eyes. "No, wait! I'm sorr-"
"You know what, I think you're lying." Aqualad folded his arms and smirked. "Which is obviously against the rules and requires punishment."
"I'm not lying!" The shapeshifter started to sound aggravated.
"You know what I think?" Jinx said mischievously. "I think we should settle this by getting Diana's Lasso here and making him answer the question again. Raven, open a portal to the Hall of Justice!"
"That's actually a really good idea!" Speedy said excitedly. "What do you think Beast Boy? I mean, if you're not lying then you don't mind, right?"
Starfire was tense. Cyborg and Robin were scared for Beast Boy, but also a little amused. They had been warning him to cut it out for weeks before something like this happened. Terra just seemed completely out of it.
And Beast Boy was looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "I-I…"
"No one's doing any of that." Raven stated pointedly.
Beast Boy was so relieved he nearly fainted.
"Why not?" Speedy practically whined. "We can use it on everyone, not just beasty. It'll be fun!"
"Because we are not bothering Wonder Woman with a Truth or Dare game. Besides, there's no need to. I'm a lie detector, remember?" The empath said casually.
"A defected one." Terra mocked under her breath.
She immediately regretted it as everyone's heads turned to her in complete shock. Crap, I didn't mean to say that out loud. It was obvious Terra was talking about the fact she once successfully lied to everyone without being detected, but no one ever expected her to bring that up. She glanced at Raven, who for once looked just as shocked as everyone else.
"Yes, well. It…doesn't always work, it's true." The empath said slowly.
It got really awkward. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife.
"Thank you for reminding me, Terra." Raven said sarcastically.
"I mean…I'm just saying." Terra said apologetically, shrinking guiltily in her chair.
"But that was because you were a good liar." Raven added. And then she pointed a finger at Beast Boy and addressed everyone else. "He's not. He's telling the truth. Move on."
Terra frowned and her guilt faded away. She knew for a fact Raven was lying because she knew that Beast Boy was lying.
"Okay, Raven." The blonde leaned forward and smiled boldly. "Truth or Dare?"
Raven froze. She wasn't sure which was worse. She remembered how mean Terra could be. Would it be worse to have her dare me to do something embarrassing or to demand I expose myself? Would she ask about him? Who invented this sadistic game!?
"It's…not your turn." Raven answered.
"I'm making it my turn." Terra said pointedly. There was scary determination in her eyes. She was fiercely glaring at Raven.
The empath swallowed, but remained stoic.
Starfire came to Raven's rescue. "Well…you can't do that cause that's not how the game works!" She chuckled awkwardly. "So…Beast Boy, you're up!"
"Oh! Uh…okay." Garfield exhaled, because he had been holding his breath since Terra joined the conversation. "Robin. Truth or Dare?"
"Dare." Dick smirked.
"I dare you to dance on the table!" Beast Boy chuckled hysterically.
Everyone leaned forward expectantly and laughed in drunken euphoria.
"This game is over. Good night, everyone." Dick stood up and walked out.
"I'm afraid only I would get to see that." Kory smiled.
"Awww man." Beast Boy whined.
Raven's lips curved up ever so slightly at his cuteness.
"You guys, I think that maybe playing this after the drinking game wasn't a smart idea." Bumblebee stated the obvious.
The next morning, Raven pulled Starfire aside. She had been gathering up the courage to honor the best friend pact and tell her about what happened with Garfield. In reality, she kind of wanted to tell her. Starfire wouldn't judge or tease and she needed to talk to someone about this, mostly because she knew she was doing a terrible job at putting it behind her. When Terra and Beast Boy laughed at something unfunny together on the previous night, Raven had felt bitter and nauseated.
"Are we going to have the girl talk again?"
"Yes."
"Oh marvelous! Should we go to your room or mine or-"
"Roof." Raven said quickly. She would need fresh air for this.
Once they were both standing under pleasant morning sunlight, Raven looked out at the bay.
"It's a nice view." Kory stated nonchalantly.
"It is." The empath turned to her alien best friend and inhaled sharply. "There's uh…something I need to tell you."
"Is it what happened between you and friend Beast Boy while we were doing the saving of the other world?"
Raven eyes widened and her mouth hung open, but only for a brief moment. She collected herself and cleared her throat. "How…is it that obvious?"
"Well, you're different around each other. More…intimidate."
"Does everyone know?" The empath bit her lip. She thought she was doing a better job at hiding it than that.
"No one knows anything. I imagined that something happened, but I don't know what." The Tamaranean smiled kindly.
Raven exhaled. "Oh, okay. Well, yes, you're right… something happened."
Starfire sat down with her legs crossed and rested her chin on her hands, like a kid ready for a bedtime story. "I knew it! I've been dying to ask you."
Raven absentmindedly smiled at her friend's endearing quirks and then she remembered what they were talking about and looked serious again. She sat down across from her. "I thought I was going to die, you know…"
Starfire just nodded.
"And so I thought maybe I deserved to have a little fun and… experiment things." The empath shrugged slightly.
Koryand'r blinked at her twice before her face contorted with childish excitement. "Raven Roth, did you kiss him!?"
"No, that…" Raven sighed. "I mean, yes. Yes, I did."
Starfire squealed.
"But that's not what I was implying."
The Tamaranean's interested eyes got huge. "There's more!?"
"I…took him to Limbo, because…well, I couldn't kill anything there. And then, the second time I took him to the other side of that dead planet we were on because there wasn't much left to destroy there."
Raven could practically see the gears turning in Starfire's head.
"Okay…so that…but why… wait." Kory suddenly stopped talking and started debating with herself about whether she should say it out loud or not.
Raven's blank expression was only defied by the glint in her eyes and the slight blushing on her cheeks. She stared at Starfire intently.
The alien princess narrowed her eyes. "You took him to those places to do something with him…something… sexual?"
Starfire really wasn't sure about this, because Raven had never expressed any desire for anything like that with anyone, but something about Raven's voice sounded…cheeky.
"Yes, you could say that." Raven answered plainly.
Koryand'r couldn't play it cool anymore. "What did you two do!?"
"Ah…everything, I guess."
Starfire's eyes got even bigger as she let out a high-pitched squeak then covered her mouth with her hands. "Raven!" She tilted her head to the side and whispered, but it was a rather loud whisper. "Did you and Beast Boy do the love-making?"
Raven rolled her eyes. "I don't know about love-making, but we had sex. Like, a lot."
The Tamaranean was so excited she practically screamed. It hurt Raven's ears a bit so she flinched.
"Kory, it's not a big deal. It can't happen again, okay?"
Starfire collected herself as she realized this wasn't exactly good news. "Oh, I see. Because you thought you would die and now…but wait, the second time…wasn't that a-"
"After we won and I survived, yes." Raven looked a little guilty. "I don't have a good excuse for that one. I got carried away."
Kory covered her mouth with both her hands again and when she spoke, her voice came out all muffled. "Because it was amazing!?"
"Well…yes."
Another squeal escaped Kory's lips.
"I'm having a harder time than I thought I would with…well, trying to go back to normal with him." Raven sighed.
"Of course you are I mean this is life-changing!"
"You're not helping, you know."
"Sorry, go on."
"I don't want to lead him on…"
"Okay but it might be too late for that, friend. I think he is in love with you." Starfire said in a slightly sad voice.
Raven frowned. "Don't say that."
"But it's the truth. I am not doing the judging of you but if it was just sex for you, then you need to let him kn-"
"It wasn't." Raven answered before she could think about it.
Koryand'r stared at her expectantly.
"I mean, that makes it sound like I used him. I didn't. It was more than just sex." The empath explained.
"Rae…are you in love with him?"
Raven huffed. "Kory, no, I…I don't even think I can fall in love. At least not in the way other people do." Her tone was calm, but a little frustrated. "But…and I'm only going to say this once so you listen carefully and please don't freak out, okay?"
Starfire nodded. "Yeah okay!"
"I feel for him."
Kory's face distorted hilariously while she did her best to not freak out.
"Anyway, that's why this is hard. I need to let him go, but…" Raven trailed off.
"You don't need to let him go."
"Of course I do. I can't give him anything, Kor." Raven's voice got slightly higher.
"Yes, I hear you, but he knows that, Raven. He has all of the information. Maybe he's fine with this, have you thought about that?"
The empath stared at her quizzically and blinked. "No I have not because that's insane. He's intense, he wants romance, and even if he's fine with this for now he won't be for much longer and then he'll start to resent me."
Kory sighed. "Maybe, maybe not. But then what are you planning to do?"
"Nothing. I should shut him down but these nagging feelings won't let me. I caved in a moment of weakness and now we'll both suffer eternally, apparently. Or…I will." He'll eventually get over me.
The Tamaranean giggled a little. "You're being dramatic again."
"I know. I thought you could tell what a train-wreck I am." Raven said blankly.
Starfire looked at her stoic friend with perfect posture and tilted her head to the side. "Not really. I don't think anyone could."
"Oh. Well, that's good. At least I still look like I'm in control."
"So you've decided on not breaking his heart again?" Kory asked hopefully.
She understood how risky their situation was, but Starfire still thought that both Raven and Beast Boy seemed happier than they had in a long time.
"I can't do it again. I tried, but I keep backing off." Raven shrugged. "Besides, I don't think he would believe me at this point. He's seen me naked; he knows I feel something for him."
The Tamaranean's grin grew enormously, making Raven roll her eyes.
"What a ridiculous situation to be in." The empath pointed out grumpily. "But thanks for listening."
"Oh, it is my pleasure! And I think you're right. I think doing nothing is smart. Sometimes these situations have a way of working out!"
Raven wasn't so sure, but she appreciated Starfire's optimism. "Mmhm, sure."
Later that day, Beast Boy found Raven reading a book while lying on her stomach on the ops room's floor. She didn't notice him, which meant she was highly entertained. He felt bold and lay next to her, propping himself up on his elbows and scooching closer to her until their arms were touching. She didn't remove her gaze from the pages, but she didn't move either, which made him feel bolder. He glanced at the book in her hands. It was a Psychology book.
"What's Mindfulness?" Garfield asked her about what she was reading.
Raven had definitely noticed his approximation by now. Her thoughts always got a little blurry when he was this close. She took a deep breath and answered without looking up. "A technique in which one becomes fully aware of one's emotions and embraces them without judgement."
"Oh." He felt his cheeks burn for some reason. "That's cool."
"I thought I should…you know. Practice." It was her turn to blush.
Is this about me!? Is she talking about her feelings for ME? Wait, that's stupid. Of course not. Why would she…Garfield shook his head slightly and realized something. "Actually, I could use some of that too."
"Sure, do you want me to borrow you the book when I'm done?"
"Well…if you prefer that. I thought maybe…you could…explain it to me so I could…read with you?" He whispered hesitantly.
Garfield's face was very close to hers now and Raven could feel his breath on her neck. If she was being completely honest, she didn't want to give it up yet.
She looked up at him warmly. "Sure."
Beast Boy's heart skipped a beat and a dreamy smile appeared on his lips. "Cool."
Raven explained what she had read so far and she was patient with the parts he had a harder time understanding. To be fair, sometimes he got distracted because her hair kept brushing against his arm and their hips kept touching and every time it happened he got goosebumps. Garfield watched her with adoration while she explained the same concept to him for the tenth time. She didn't look upset at all.
"Did you…get it now?"
"I'm sorry I said you were a jellyfish."
Raven chuckled quietly. "You mean when you said I'm creepy and freaky and ew?" She stared into his eyes. "You were lying. I know."
"But you didn't like it."
"Well, I'm not made of stone." She rolled her eyes sweetly.
All the closeness was affecting their judgement, but it felt so nice neither of them wanted to back away. Garfield scooched even closer to her and now the entire sides of their bodies were touching. He lightly rubbed her bare feet with his. He was craving this girl.
"I also said you are hauntingly beautiful. That one was true." He whispered.
Raven was doing her best at keeping calm and it was taking her everything to do that, so all she did was fight back a smile and look at the book again. She focused on the words she was silently reading as he absentmindedly played with the ends of her hair.
"It's the way you move, you know." Beast Boy whispered again.
"The way I move?" Raven looked up from the book to raise a questioning eyebrow at him.
"Yeah, it's all elegant and hypnotizing." Garfield's eyes were playful, but extremely truthful. It felt like a very intimate moment. "It makes you look like…poetry."
Raven stared at him and did a good job at controlling her face, but fortunately for him she couldn't control the pink color that rose to her cheeks. After a while, she tilted her head giving him a skeptical and amused look.
"What?" Beast Boy smiled at her.
"I look like poetry?" She repeated it as if she couldn't believe she'd heard it.
Raven didn't usually care about compliments on her looks, but that one got to her.
He chuckled a little. "Yeah, what's wrong with that? You like poetry, right?"
She shook her head. "Nothing, it's just..." She narrowed her eyes at him. "How far do you think flattery is going to get you?"
Their feet were brushing playfully against each other and their insides were full of delicious butterflies.
"Nowhere. I just felt like saying it. I thought you should know you look like poetry."
"Well, that…" Raven looked down and smiled a little, almost shyly. "You're good at this, Gar. I admit."
His heart pounded mercilessly in his chest and the signature stupid, gigantic grin took over his features. She said I'm good at this! At flirting! With her! It got worse when she looked up at him again. She looked at him almost… lovingly?
That was the scene Cyborg walked into. He had walked in a few seconds ago, and he couldn't hear what they were whispering but he'd run out to get Robin and now they were both staring incredulously at the oblivious pair on the floor. Dick cleared his throat and Raven's body responded with a tiny jump scare. This getting distracted thing really affected her powers. Beast Boy screamed and jumped to his feet at once. Raven frowned at the loss of contact.
"Are we interrupting something?" Cyborg teased.
Raven calmly stood up. "As if. I was teaching Gar some Psychology. By the way, I'm going to resume the meditation lessons with him. I think he's ready."
The grin on Beast Boy's face was so big and excited that his cheeks were aching. Does that mean she wants to spend time with me? Or maybe she's just trying to help. But still, she doesn't MIND spending time with me. "Yeah, Raven said if I work on it I could be a dragon!"
"Potentially." She clarified.
"Right. That makes sense." Robin said. He wasn't sure why they needed to be that close for her to teach him, but Raven had been having a hard time setting boundaries lately.
"Awesome!" Cyborg forgot all about his suspicions at the mention of dragons.
Raven left them discussing the many uses of dragons in the crime-fighting business and headed to her room for a much needed meditation session. She was proud of herself for not blowing anything up through that entire interaction. Meditating thrice as much was working.
The days that followed came with more frequent intimate moments. Beast Boy actually successfully meditated with Raven. It reminded him of the peace they felt after sleeping together. He could slow down for a few minutes and free his mind of doubts and worries. Meditating together made them feel more connected. And then there was the fact that he always finished first – because she meditated for hours these days – and there was always this moment when he excused himself and she opened one eye and told him she was proud of him. That always gave him chills. They also read together more often – sometimes it was Psychology or Astronomy and sometimes it was just a fantasy novel. They even played video games together sometimes. Raven always won.
"Don't forget it's no butter for me!" Garfield shouted to Cyborg as they all settled on the couch for movie night while the half-robot made popcorn.
Raven winced because he'd shouted in her ear. "Ouch."
"Sorry RaeRae." Beast Boy offered her a sheepish, sincere smile.
It melted Raven's heart, but she wasn't going to show it.
"Isn't Rae a silly enough nickname?" She asked him. "Must you make it even sillier?"
"It's not silly, it's cute! Like you." Garfield beamed at her.
Raven rolled her eyes. "I'm neither of those things."
Before he could protest, Cyborg brought the popcorn and the movie started. Raven's hair was pulled into a ponytail. Her hair was longer now and she often wore it like that, mostly because it was practical. It always drove Beast Boy crazy, especially when she wasn't wearing her uniform, because then her long, graceful neck was all exposed. He kept glancing at it too.
Then the movie started and he turned his attention to it because it was Breakfast Club and they all decided it was a perfect group costume for next Halloween, and the three boys kept making arguments for whichever of the male characters they wanted to go as. At some point Garfield went to get popcorn without looking and his fingers accidentally touched the base of Raven's neck, making her twitch. Then it hit him. Raven is ticklish. He remembered her giggling and squirming every time he kissed and nibbled her neck, but he'd assumed that was just out of pleasure before. Now this is interesting new information…
Beast Boy couldn't resist it. First, he pretended to stretch to put an arm around her, like countless movies had taught him. She let him. Then, he started teasing her neck, touching it lightly with his fingers every now and then and softly tickling her. Every time he did, it sent shivers down her spine and made her giggle. She whispered for him to stop but she didn't sound upset, so he kept going. Garfield was having the time of his life.
The sound of Raven giggling was unfamiliar to the other Titans and didn't go unnoticed. When something was really funny, she'd usually grace them with a light chuckle, but never a giggle. They weren't sure what was causing it and they exchanged questioning looks amongst them but ignored it the first few times, until Raven giggled during a particularly tragic scene and they all stared at her quizzically. Sure, her humor was dark, but not this twisted. Was she having a mental breakdown?
"Are you okay in there, Rae?" Cyborg sounded concerned.
Raven straightened up and cleared her throat. "I'm fine."
"Sorry." Beast Boy raised a guilty hand. "My bad. I've been tickling her."
He could take the grumbling and the eye-rolls all day, as long as it didn't backlash on her.
"Cut it out, Beast Boy." Robin said seriously. "Maybe you should change places with Cy. Rae, do you want him to move?"
Richard also noticed his girlfriend fighting back a smile. It made him curious.
"It's fine. He'll stop." Raven said plainly, shooting Beast Boy a warning look. "Won't you?"
"Yeah, I'll stop. Sorry." The shapeshifter smiled cheekily and pulled his arm back, because her neck was simply too tempting.
The next day, Robin asked the Titans East and Kid Flash to come over again. He hadn't forgotten about Slade and Raven's power-blockers – at least that was what he was calling them – getting stolen. He wanted to gather as much information as he could so they could try to figure out what was coming. Jinx was over too, as she often was now because of Cyborg. In reality, only Bumblebee and Robin seemed to be strategizing. Everyone else was just socializing. Well, except for Raven. She was still meditating in her room.
"So, Aqualad, did you ever get a second date with Raven?" Jinx asked.
Cyborg lightly glared at her. He really liked her, but she was a pot stirrer.
"Not even close." The aquatic Titan sighed. Then he noticed Beast Boy was smirking and chuckling to himself and it annoyed the crap out of him, so he addressed the shapeshifter. "At least I can take a hint though. And at least I got the one date."
Speedy chuckled. "Leave the poor guy alone, dude. What I did on Truth or Dare night was bad enough." He looked directly at Garfield. "Sorry about that, by the way."
Beast Boy stiffened. Did they know he liked Raven? How did they know? He turned his head to Terra. "You told them!?"
The blonde raised her hands up in the air defensively. "I did no such thing." Then she put her hands on her hips instead. "Maybe it's because you're really obvious about it."
Terra was pretty much over him by now. She could be his friend without the awkwardness. She also hoped to be friends with Raven again, though what she did on Truth or Dare night probably wouldn't help with that. She'd had a few drinks that night and she'd been meaning to talk to Raven about it and clear the air, but the empath was still meditating.
"Wait, is this for real!?" Kid Flash straightened up, immediately interested. "I thought it was just a joke!"
Beast Boy mentally slapped himself. She didn't tell them, but YOU just did. Idiot.
"Wait a minute, is that why you two broke up?" Aqualad gestured between Terra and Beast Boy while leaning back against the wall.
At this point Bumblebee was interested too and Robin gave up on trying to get everyone to be productive for the day.
"Mmm…" Terra glanced at Beast Boy, but he just seemed completely out of it. "Maybe?"
Now everyone just seemed highly entertained.
"Well…you're bolder than I thought, BB." Kid Flash chuckled lightly. He hadn't meant to tease, not really. If anything, he understood better than most.
"All right guys, he got it. It's bad enough without everyone commenting on it." Cyborg attempted to finish the conversation.
"Cyborg, stop defending me. You're bad at it!" Beast Boy said hastily.
"I was just trying to help, dude!"
"Well, don't. I don't need it. I'm tired of this." Beast Boy figured he might as well own up to it. "Yes, okay? I like Raven. So. What." He said pointedly.
"Does she know? She has to know, I mean…" Bumblebee remembered how quickly Raven picked up on her emotions on karaoke night.
"Of course she knows." Starfire suddenly spoke up. "She has known for a while and she is the fine with it." She offered Garfield a sympathetic smile.
"Meaning she pities him." Aqualad frowned. "Don't you think you should move on or something, man?"
"No, I don't. And you don't know how she feels." Beast Boy told him plainly. The whole thing was starting to get to him.
Aqualad shrugged. "You don't know how she feels either."
"I know more than you."
"Hey BB, don't take this the wrong way, but…hasn't she rejected you already?" Robin said in a friendly voice. "I mean, I have to tell you, I've been worried about this…persistence. As much as I admire it."
Kory elbowed her boyfriend lightly – or not so lightly since she was really strong – but he didn't take the hint. He just rubbed his arm and shot her a questioning look.
"Well, technically yes." Beast Boy admitted. He needed to remember they didn't have all the information. "But…she could change her mind! I have been told I'm an acquired taste."
He usually liked making people laugh, but in this case it didn't feel so good.
"Dude, I'm the one who told you that." Cyborg chuckled. "But she's known you for years."
"Yeah man, besides… Aqualad wasn't dark enough for her." Speedy pointed at his teammate. "And you're…you know…" He searched his mind for a nice way to put it.
"You. You're you." Jinx grinned mischievously.
This time Cyborg openly glared at her.
"Ignore her, BB." Bumblebee said kindly. "Besides, nothing's impossible…"
"Some things are nearly impossible." Speedy pointed out.
"Dude, no offense but the sooner you give up, the better." Aqualad reasoned.
"HIII RAVEN!" Starfire suddenly shouted to get everyone to shut up.
It worked. The room fell completely silent.
Raven had just floated into the ops room and was now feeling slightly awkward with everyone's eyes on her. "What? What were you talking about?"
"Oh we were just discussing Beast Boy's hopeless crush on you." Jinx said innocently. Now everyone glared at her. She just smiled sweetly and shrugged.
Raven's face hardened. "Oh." She could sense Beast Boy was extremely uncomfortable. He looked uncomfortable too, staring at his feet to hide how reddish his green skin was. "Why are you discussing this? I don't recall it concerning any of you."
Now everyone was uncomfortable, not just Beast Boy. Raven took comfort in that.
"Sorry Rae, it's just…well, you've been acting weird lately. I mean, both of you. We're just a little concerned." Cyborg elaborated.
Raven folded her arms. "What are your concerns?"
Cyborg looked at Robin for help.
Dick cleared his throat. "Ah well…you see, mostly we were telling BB he needs to back off because we feel like you might be…scared of hurting his feelings, maybe?"
"Oh, I see. So you don't think I'm capable of setting my own boundaries." Raven said firmly.
"Well…you're not." Dick said pointedly, making everyone gasp. He wasn't scared of her like everyone else. "I mean, lately you're not. You're actually not helping at all. You're almost encouraging it."
"Maybe you're unintentionally leading him on?" Aqualad shrugged.
Raven raised her voice ever so slightly. "I'm not leading anyone on. There's a reason why we've been different, it's just none of your business."
Now they were really confused.
"It's my fault, Raven. I got annoyed at the teasing. It's fine." Garfield finally looked up at her.
He was grateful, but she could sense he was still hurt. The empath frowned. "What teasing?"
"Just…you know…friendly banter…" Speedy trailed off.
"Yeah, about how he's completely delusional for thinking anything could ever happen between you and how utterly sad it is." Jinx provoked. When everyone glared at her again she gasped, looking absolutely outraged. "What? She asked!"
Raven stared at them blankly. Everyone looked a little guilty, except for Starfire who was biting her lip expectantly and for Beast Boy, who just looked…defeated. He was sad and embarrassed and he was looking down again. Whatever they had been saying, the empath was certain Jinx wasn't the only one being a little mean. "He's not delusional."
Garfield's head shot up. Everyone's eyes grew huge. Well, except for Starfire's – she just had a Monalisa smile on.
"He's not!?" Speedy kept glancing between the shapeshifter and the empath.
"Wait, Raven, you don't mean to say something could happen or… is happening between you?" Richard asked her cautiously. Now he was worried. Dick never thought Raven would actually date Beast Boy, but with his immaturity and her powers it would be a recipe for disaster.
"Don't be ridiculous." The sorcerer said calmly, making everyone relax for a second. "I mean something did happen. Past tense."
Loud and shocked gasps took over the ops room.
"See!? This is why you need me!" Jinx smugly pointed out to the entire room.
Beast Boy was almost as shocked as everyone else. In spite of her telling him she wanted to keep what happened between them a secret so it wouldn't complicate things, he couldn't help but think deep down she was just embarrassed of him.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Relax. It can't happen again, obviously. It was…under specific circumstances. But yes, it changed us a bit. No big deal. Okay?"
It wasn't okay, because everyone seemed to think it was a big deal. She was gripped and flooded with an avalanche of questions about what happened and how it happened and what did she mean by any of this and when and where and under which specific circumstances. She felt overwhelmed and slightly dizzy and then she thought of how they had made Garfield feel about the whole thing before she entered the room.
"We had sex, okay? Get off of me." The empath blurted out, pushing people away and wiping her cape.
The first reaction was silence. Then awkward laughter, because they thought she was joking. But she sustained her serious gaze and raised an eyebrow at them and they choked and gasped and squeaked and cursed and reacted the way absolutely shocked, excited or outraged people react. Beast Boy was paralyzed while his brain registered the fact Raven had just told the entire room about them.
"I knew it!" Terra yelled. Everyone looked at her. "I mean, I didn't know that…but I knew there was something!"
Raven inhaled. Maybe I should explain this better. "No you weren't together. It wa-"
"HOW and WHEN did this happen!?" Cyborg shouted.
"That's what I was trying to s-"
"Raven this is really irresponsible." Robin frowned.
"No but it wasn-"
"What does this MEAN?" Bumblebee asked.
"Let me finis-"
"Can you even HAVE sex!?" Speedy asked indiscreetly.
"We weren't even in this Un-"
"You had sex with HIM!?" Aqualad scoffed.
"Will you all shut up and let her talk!?" Beast Boy shouted. His brain was working again and he beamed at her.
Raven exhaled gratefully. She rubbed her temples and decided to shock these annoying people with the truth. "Right. Yes, I did. I mean, we did. Twice, actually. Well, two different occasions. It was…" She looked at Beast Boy. "What was it? About six or seven times and then another ten…?"
Garfield was radiant. "Act two was more like fifteen."
"Right. So…around twenty times altogether." The empath said pointedly. "Next question?"
Everyone but Starfire and Raven looked hilarious to the shapeshifter right now. Their eyes were wide, their mouths hung open and they were speechless.
And then before anyone could ask Raven the next question, a fifth-grader bragging smug spirit possessed Beast Boy. "That's right! Try mocking me NOW, huh? IN. YOUR. FACE!"
As soon as he was done he realized what a mistake it was and froze. What the fuck was THAT!? Everyone seemed to be either judging him or utterly confused, but he didn't care so much about that. He was more worried about what she would look like when he looked at her.
"See this is what I meant. I mean, really? That guy?" Aqualad squeaked.
Garfield gathered up the courage to avert his gaze to Raven. She was glaring at him. She was fuming.
"What was that?" Raven asked quietly through clenched teeth.
"I…have no idea." Garfield whispered sincerely.
The empath stared at him fiercely. "We'll discuss this later."
"Why aren't you more shocked?" Robin suddenly blurted out. He was narrowing his eyes at his Tamaranean girlfriend.
"Oh, I already knew." Starfire shrugged. It was her turn to receive all the stares. "What? Raven told me. I'm her best friend."
Every head turned to Raven again, but she just shrugged as well. "You heard her, she's my best friend."
Starfire beamed.
"Wait, I thought we weren't telling anyone! I didn't tell anyone!" Garfield whined.
"Neither did I." Raven nodded. "Well, I told them now, but..."
"You told Starfire!" The shapeshifter flailed his arms around.
"Oh, right. Yes, but…she's my best friend." Raven repeated.
Garfield widened his eyes as he once again remembered what Raven said about Starfire telling her everything.
"If this is a problem for you, we can discuss it after we discuss your bragging psychotic break." Raven said intently. "How does that sound?"
Garfield swallowed and chuckled awkwardly. "I didn't say it's a probl-"
"Next question?" Raven addressed the room again.
"Are you two like, together now?" Aqualad muttered. His ego had taken a bit of a hit.
"Please avoid stupid questions. Next question?"
"How and when?" Robin finally asked the only important questions.
"X-Men mansion." Raven said. She rolled her eyes at the new round of gasps and continued. "Well, not in the mansion, just…during that general period of time. We used Limbo and the wrecked planet where the battle happened."
"Okay. Next question. WHY?" Richard asked her. "I mean why would you do something so reckless? I mean, him I understand, but you, Raven!?"
"It was an alternate Universe thing." The empath said blankly as if that explained everything.
"A what?" Cyborg asked.
"You know. A parallel reality thing." She looked at Beast Boy for help.
"Yeah!" Garfield said in a high-pitched voice. "Like a summer fling! Or like Vegas!"
Raven nodded and looked at her friends again. "Right, you know, what happens in the alternate reality stays in the alternate reality. So it doesn't affect ours."
"An alternate Universe thing!" Beast Boy concluded.
Robin was staring incredulously at them. "That's not a thing!"
The empath frowned. There was some light-hearted laughter and some tension mixed in the room.
"In case you haven't noticed, it IS affecting our reality!" Richard continued his ranting. "How could you be this stup-"
"Richard Grayson. " Raven's voice was low but overpowering and menacing enough to make everyone's murmur go silent, especially since the room got dark and cold at the same time. "Think very carefully about what you're about to say next."
Robin stopped talking, but he kept staring at her and looking disappointed.
The light and temperature went back to normal and Raven softened her face. "I thought I was going to die."
Dick flinched. Right. He'd forgotten about that.
Raven hugged herself. "And then yes, the second time I just recklessly thought that I deserved enjoying something, okay? I'm so sorry for being irresponsible once in my cursed life and I'm sorry that I'm not really sorry at all."
Everyone held their breath. Dick's face distorted with regret. And then…
"I don't recall it being that great." Terra whispered. Fuck, I didn't mean to say THAT out loud. Why do I keep doing this!?
Raven stared and blinked at her as she repressed a nervous laughter at the absurdity of Terra's blunt comment. And then Beast Boy started laughing. And Terra chuckled. And Raven chuckled as well. And then everyone just laughed all the tension away.
"Sorry, Rae. I was kinda harsh." Dick frowned apologetically.
"It's okay. I get it; I've been harsh on me too. But…don't worry. We have it all under control." Raven lied confidently.
"Sorry for doubting you, bro." Speedy childishly raised a glass to Garfield before drinking.
Beast Boy couldn't fully enjoy this though because he knew it made her uncomfortable.
"Anyway…that's the weirdness you've all detected." Raven said pointedly.
"Yes, that does explain it." Dick chuckled.
"I'm still speechless…" Cyborg scratched his head.
Then Raven suddenly turned to Beast Boy. She didn't look happy. "So…"
Garfield scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. He knew this was about his bragging fit.
"Let's go somewhere else." The empath stated before floating away.
"Dude, are you going? She looks pissed." Speedy laughed.
"Can you blame her? He has to go." Bumblebee said pointedly before turning to Beast Boy. "Actually, what are you still doing here?"
She's right. Move. "Right!" He rushed after her, leaving the room full of gossip behind him.
Raven turned to him once they were in the safety of her room. "Let's talk about Starfire first. I tell her everything, she's my person. Always assume I told her."
"Right. It's just that…well, I didn't get to have that person."
Raven frowned. "I understand you wanted to tell the guys because they were teasing you but I told her bec-"
"No! I mean, yes. Yes, I did. But…I also really wanted to talk about it. I'm not upset you told her, I guess I just wish I'd known you told her so that I also had someone to talk to."
Raven pondered for a moment. Great job not considering his feelings. Nice, Raven. "I…that's fair. I'm sorry. I should have told you I told her." She said sincerely. "I think I've been rather selfish about a lot of this, actually. I'm sorry."
Garfield smiled at her, a little amazed at how easily she apologized to him now. "Thanks."
"I assume I'm forgiven?"
He chuckled. "Obviously."
"Good." She folded her arms and glared at him. "What was that out there?"
Beast Boy gulped loudly. "I honestly have no idea what that was. I don't even think I-"
"Is that what it was about for you?" Raven did her best to cover up how much the thought alone wounded her. "Is that what it meant to you? Some twisted moral victory over our years-long dispute? Something to act smug about?"
"What!? NO! Don't you know that!? You were there, you felt what I felt!" Garfield said in a high-pitched voice.
"It's not an exact science. I would have still sensed desire if you were taking pleasure in proving something or just feeling… cool or… powerful or…"
"I wasn't! I…Raven, you had the power the whole time! You were always on top of me." He pointed out desperately.
"But you were inside me." She stated the obvious. "Or are we going to pretend there's no power in that?"
Beast Boy suddenly stopped talking. There was an uncomfortable mix of regret and excitement making his stomach turn because he hadn't thought of it like that.
"Because that was hard for me. To be that… vulnerable." Raven rolled her eyes at the word, as if it hurt her to even say it. "I mean, don't get me wrong. It was good. Really good. But it took trust. It meant something to me." She rolled her shoulders back. "And if your reasons were even slightly competitive, I definitely take offense at that."
He'd forgotten how to breathe at this point. He wanted to pull her close and kiss her worries away. Part of him was ecstatic to hear her say it meant stuff to her and the other part was dreading that now she thought it didn't mean as much to him.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Raven was starting to fear the worst. She just wanted him to deny it. If he didn't deny it, it would hurt. And it was starting to hurt so badly.
"Raven." Garfield exhaled heavily. "Can you…read my feelings now?"
The empath sighed. "Yes, but…one thing doesn't exclude the other. You could care deeply for me and still wish to prove you can get me or whatever that out there was about. I just need you to use words. Just tell me."
"I don't! I didn't. You're so wrong. You've never been more wrong." He stared into her eyes. "My only motivation was how amazing I think you are. I know that was weird but it was about them, not about you. They've been teasing me mercilessly ever since we got back and it got to me! I'm so sorry. I lo- I like you so much. I swear I just wanted to be close to you and make you feel good. Please believ-"
"Okay you don't need to cry on me, Gar. Relax." Raven stopped him when she realized his voice was getting strangled and her heart was fluttering against her will. "I didn't need all of that. It's okay, you're forgiven too."
Oh, thank God. Beast Boy exhaled in relief.
She smiled slightly and pulled his chin up so he was looking at her. "Also, I'm not wrong because I was just asking. I needed to ask. I mean, that was a weird scene out there. But I believe you. I'm sorry they teased you. I think that will stop now." She chuckled softly.
Garfield stared at her wide-eyed and felt his chest ache again. "I'd do anything for you, you know." He whispered truthfully.
She let go of him and bit her lip sadly. "Don't say that…" I'm not worth it.
Beast Boy didn't want her to be sad, so he snapped out of it. "Sorry, forget I said anything! By the way, thank you for telling everyone. I was dying out there."
"I noticed. You should have told me that was happening. I would have done something sooner."
"Well you saved me today." He smiled affectionately at her. "You're my heroine."
Why does that make my stupid stomach flutter? Raven just rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help a tiny smile on her lips because his toothy grin had come back. After a few seconds she narrowed her eyes playfully. "You can brag a little, but only if they tease you again. And, you know, respectfully."
"Really!?"
"Don't make me regret it."
"You're the coolest girl in the world. In all worlds. And the coolest demon."
"If you say so."
"How did I get so lucky?"
"Okay, now you're just fishing for compliments."
Beast Boy chuckled light-heartedly. He was fishing for compliments. "Worth the shot!"
Something Just Like This (The Chainsmokers, Coldplay)