Reyna stared at the ceiling above her and exhaled a short sigh. One arm was resting behind her head. The other was resting on the unconscious woman sleeping on top of her. Reyna closed her eyes and tried to relax. She nearly jumped out of her skin as her stomach was kissed.
"Scare you?" Thalia teased. Reyna opened her eyes and stared down at Thalia. A stupid little smirk was on Thalia's face, and Reyna couldn't help but smile as well. Even if she was scared and nervous. Their talk last night lasted about two seconds before Thalia was kissing her and pinning her to the wall.
After the Thanksgiving dinner, Reyna dropped Nico off and promised to be back. She drove to the hotel Thalia was staying in, and when she knocked on the door, Thalia was waiting there in a bathrobe. The second Thalia undid her robe was the second that Reyna's brain stopped working. And then, Thalia's tongue was being shoved down her throat.
"I thought you were asleep," Reyna finally answered. Thalia smirked and rolled on top of Reyna.
"I was. You're a comfortable pillow," Thalia said, and she kissed Reyna. A smirk came to Reyna's face as she kissed Thalia back. "I get to be on top this time."
"You belong on the bottom," Reyna teased in between kisses. Thalia glared and kissed her again. Reyna pulled away slightly. "We need to talk, Thalia. About us."
"Nothing to talk about," Thalia deflected, and she kissed Reyna again, pressing her head against the pillow. Reyna bit back a moan as Thalia's hand ran down her stomach.
"There is," Reyna insisted, but she felt her willpower crumbling by the second. "Thalia."
A sigh left Thalia, and she pulled away. She collapsed onto the bed near Reyna and stared at the ceiling. Reyna spoke, "Are we just having sex, Thalia? Or, are we going to date again?"
"I don't know," Thalia admitted. Reyna looked at Thalia. "It didn't end well last time."
"It didn't," Reyna agreed. "But, I've missed you. I really have. I don't think I've dated anyone that made me feel like you do."
"Well, I am amazing," Thalia bragged lightly. Reyna rolled her eyes. "You're right, for once. We do need to talk about us. I think we... oh shit. I'm late!"
"Late?" Reyna repeated. She watched Thalia jump off of the bed and grab her clothes. Reyna slowly sat up. She watched Thalia throw on her shirt from the night before and quickly pull her underwear and pants on. "Thalia?"
"I'm sorry," Thalia said. She turned and kissed Reyna again. Upon pulling away, she cupped Reyna's face. "I have Thanksgiving plans with the others. I'll talk to you after. I promise."
"Okay," Reyna replied dumbly after a moment. Thalia kissed her again, and Reyna returned it only halfheartedly. Thalia pulled away and frowned. Then, she rushed out of her hotel room grabbing her keys along the way. Reyna sighed and grabbed her scattered clothes from the ground. She left the hotel room not sure how to distinguish the feelings in her chest.
Reyna walked into her apartment and sighed tiredly. She didn't even make it five feet before she saw Nico waving at her. He was watching television and lounging around on the couch. Nico spoke, "Hey."
"Hey," Reyna said back after a moment. Things were still awkward for them. They just hadn't talked much since Nico got drunk and woke her to pick up Hazel.
"How was the sex?" Nico asked bluntly. Reyna froze and looked at him.
"I didn't have sex," Reyna said quickly. Nico gave her a wide grin that called her bluff.
"You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday," Nico pointed out. "Your hair is no longer in a braid and not in the 'I got bed head' kind of way. No, it's in the 'my date ran their hands through my hair as I made them scream my name' kind of way. And, you look relaxed."
"I d-didn't have sex," Reyna stuttered. Her face felt like it was turning a fierce crimson. Nico accused her again with another grin. "Okay, fine. I did."
"With who?" Nico asked. Reyna felt her face heating up even more.
"No one," Reyna finally muttered.
"I know better," Nico stated. "You don't just have sex with anyone. It took you and Thalia forever to finally sleep together."
Reyna tensed at the mention of Thalia, and Nico's eyes widened, "Oh."
"Yeah," Reyna muttered. She looked down.
"So, Thalia. Huh," Nico said, obviously lost for words. Reyna shrugged and wished she could just crawl into a hole. "Does Jason know?"
"I doubt it," Reyna replied. She sighed and walked towards Nico. Reyna sat by him and laid her head back.
"Is it serious between you and Thalia? Or was it like a one night stand?" Nico questioned.
"I don't know," Reyna admitted. She rubbed her face. "I tried to talk to her, but she said she had a Thanksgiving dinner to go to."
Nico rubbed her shoulder, and Reyna just shrugged again. She focused ahead and found her thoughts going back to Thalia. Was Thalia just deflecting the question and running? Did she really have dinner?
"Do you want to get back with her?" Nico asked softly. Reyna didn't answer. She just continued to stare ahead. What she wanted was for Thalia to have at least given her some kind of hint on what she wanted. Reyna wasn't able to read people. She never really understood the coy looks or flirtatious glances.
"Reyna," Nico began.
"I'm going to shower," Reyna brushed off the question, moving to stand and get away from the conversation. She walked towards her bedroom.
"Reyna!" Nico snapped. The woman jumped and looked at her best friend. Nico had never raised his voice. He never got mad at her. This was new territory. "Answer me one question. Don't just walk away or give me a shrug."
"Okay," Reyna said after a moment.
"I've been your friend for about six or seven years. You're not just my best friend or a roommate to me. You're like a sister to me, but why do I always feel like a stranger when I talk to you? I'm not one for sharing my feelings that much either, but I can't even get a yes or no answer out of you when I ask if you want to be with Thalia," Nico interrogated, standing up to face her.
"I understand that you like to keep things inside and don't like to share. I just hate that you hide everything from me. I feel like you don't care enough about me to tell me anything," Nico finished. "I just want to know if you actually care about me or keep me around because you feel like you owe me for high school."
Reyna stared transfixed at Nico. He was shaking, but she couldn't tell if it was from anger or something else. It seemed like he had this on his chest for a while and was finally letting it all out. Nico watched her and crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Reyna finally sighed and walked towards Nico.
"I'm sorry, Nico. I don't mean to make you feel like that," Reyna began. She shifted and sighed. "I know I have issues opening up."
"I'm not asking you to open up about everything," Nico said in frustration. "I just want to be able to have a single conversation without it feeling like you're holding something back. Hell, I want to be able to tell you about my feelings without thinking that you don't care."
"Nico, I do care," Reyna assured. She gently grabbed Nico's arm and sat him down. Reyna sat by him. "I'm sorry that you feel that way. I really am. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"I tried to, and you told me that you didn't care. You told me to leave you alone," Nico said. Reyna looked down. "You shut down like you always do. If you want me to, I'll just move out. I'll leave you alone."
"Nico, you are my best friend in the entire world," Reyna proclaimed. She turned and gently grabbed Nico's shoulders. "I'm so sorry that you think I don't care about you because I really do. I'm so sorry that I said that. I was just so mad at Hylla, and I punched my steering wheel with my broken hand. I wasn't thinking clearly."
"Reyna, you can't just keep everything inside. It's not healthy, and you're going to explode sooner or later," Nico warned. Reyna didn't answer and just looked away. "Reyna."
"I'm scared to get close to people," Reyna admitted. "That's the truth. It's why I can't open up to you as much as I want to. I think the only person I've allowed myself to grow close to is Lupa."
"I've always had this chip on my shoulder because my mother left me. It always left the thought in the back of my head of if the woman who gave birth to me and was supposed to care for me left me, who else would? Then, there was the whole blowout with Hylla where she pretty much kicked me out of her life as well."
"There was a long time where the only person I got remotely close to was you, and that gave me the confidence to let Thalia into my life and start to care about her. Then, she broke up with me, and I know I shut down from there," Reyna muttered. "It was just another person in my life that I got close to and then abandoned by."
"We've been friends for like seven years," Nico reiterated. Reyna expected him to be mad, but he sounded like he was on the verge of crying. "How can you think I would leave you?"
"My damn sister left me," Reyna nearly sobbed. "I can't help the doubt in the back of my mind. Who else will do the same?"
Nico crossed his arms and looked down. He stood and stormed off to his room. Reyna laid her head back and tried to ignore how miserable she felt. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Nico. He had been her best friend for years. No, he had been a brother to her for years. They had gone through so many things together. How could she make him feel like she didn't care?
Not only that, but she remembered snapping at him. She remembered telling him that she didn't care, but she did. Reyna cared about Nico even if she was an idiot. Reyna swallowed back tears and tried to keep her emotions in check. She had to show Nico she cared.
Reyna stood and walked towards Nico's door. She grabbed the handle and gripped it tightly. It would be for the best just to leave him alone and let him calm down. Reyna turned away from the door. Then, she took a deep breath and walked inside.
Reyna moved towards Nico's bed. He was laying on his bed and had his face buried in a pillow. His shoulders shook as he cried. Reyna sat by him and pulled him close. He turned and buried his face in her chest. Reyna hugged him tightly as he cried.
"I'm an idiot, Nico. I should have known better. I should have paid more attention to my brother," Reyna whispered. She kissed Nico's forehead and rubbed his back. "I am so sorry that I told you I didn't care."
"I'm so sorry," Reyna repeated. She swallowed back her building grief. "I was so angry and just being an idiot. I don't have any other excuses for what I said other than I am an absolute idiot. Please forgive me."
Nico didn't answer. He just kept crying, but his grip on her did tighten. Reyna kissed the top of his head and blinked the tears out of her own eyes. She whispered, "I care so much, Nico. I'm sorry."
"You wanted to talk about something the night I came home from Hylla's. The night you got drunk," Reyna whispered. "What did you want to talk about?"
Nico took a minute to find a break in his crying. He spoke quietly, "I wanted your help. For Thanksgiving. To come out to everyone."
Reyna gawked at Nico and then swallowed painfully. She felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. No, she was the biggest piece of shit in the world.
"Nico, I am so sorry," Reyna whispered. She hung her head and felt the worst that she had in a long time. It seemed like she couldn't stop messing up. Between helping kill Frank's confidence and not listening to Nico, what else was she going to screw up?
Reyna rubbed Nico's back and rested her chin on his head. She was mad at herself for how she treated Nico. She was pissed that she acted like an immature idiot. And, Reyna really thought she was a leader in the Wolves. She was nothing more than a child that allowed her anger to rule her.
"It's okay," Nico whispered. He pulled away and wiped his eyes.
"It's not," Reyna rejected. She rubbed her eyes to get rid of the tears that were building up. "I shouldn't have ignored you like that. I just let my temper get the best of me, and I don't know how to stop it."
"Maybe, you shouldn't have forged your anger management papers," Nico quipped. Reyna wasn't sure if it was a joke or not, and she didn't respond. Her gaze moved to the floor. "I guess it is my fault, though."
"That will never be your fault," Reyna whispered. She kissed Nico's forehead again. "Why not just tell Hazel? It would be a start, and she is your half-sister."
"I can't," Nico countered. He shook his head and pulled away. Nico laid back on the bed, and Reyna laid next to him. "I don't know how she's going to react, especially with how her family acted towards Frank."
"Hazel's not like that," Reyna began. Nico shook his head and turned his back to her. Reyna laid her head back and rubbed her forehead. Nico was being irrational about not telling Hazel, but Reyna understood. When he was growing up in Italy, he watched how anyone who was gay was treated, and it wasn't well. Combine that with how Bryce and his buddies treated Nico in high school was why Nico was hesitant to tell anyone.
And Reyna blew the best chance of him telling anyone. She rolled out of the bed and debated just slamming her broken knuckles into another metal object. It was what she deserved after being such a terrible friend. Reyna walked towards the door and spoke, "Do you want to get food and get drunk? Maybe play something?"
"That sounds nice," Nico answered after a few moments. He rolled out of bed. "You're paying, though."
Reyna looked at him and smiled slightly. Nico managed to small smile back. Reyna led him out of their apartment, but she couldn't help how terrible she felt. Why couldn't she just learn how to connect with people emotionally? If she didn't figure it out, there was no chance for a relationship with Thalia, and she was worried that she might irrevocably damage her relationship with Nico. She had to figure out how to get her temper under control and how to open up, before it destroyed all of her relationships.