Disclaimer: The following is a fanfiction. Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Kim Possible, and Big Bad Beetleborgs are property of their respective owners, creators, and publishers. Please support the official releases. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

TW: This story will contain original characters, references to physical and psychological abuse, murder, and torture.

|Welcome to Echo Creek|

It wasn't until they got out of LAX and onto the highway that Dipper, Mabel, and Misao stopped cowering in their seats and got their seatbelts on. Leaning back in his seat, the five minutes younger Pine twin checked the mirrors and looked out the back of the SUV. No one was chasing after them throwing green bolts of energy, so it looked like they were safe for now.

"What are the odds, right? Ha hah…" he asked.

"Worse than you might think," Misao muttered as she cast a look out the back of the SUV.

" KimPossible you might want to get to LA, we definitely saw Shego and her hunky sidekick Señor Senior Junior, and they're trying to kidnap people. #CallingYou #TweetingYou #ReallyWannaReachYou," Mabel said into her phone.

Dipper looked at Mabel, alarmed. "Don't you dare tweet that!"

"I wasn't gonna!" Mabel had it scheduled to go in an hour.

"Shego, isn't she the one that causes nonsense with that blue idiot?" Shermie asked. "Didn't that nice cheerleader girl and her friend put her away?"

"They must have gotten out, because they were trying to kidnap our new friend," Mabel said.

Misao looked at Mabel and Dipper. "Honestly, I don't think I can thank you enough for the risk you took for my sake. That was so frightening."

Dipper waved it off. "Hey, don't worry about it."

"We're just glad we got you out of there," Mabel reassured her.

Shermie glanced at his grandson and back at his granddaughter with an approving smile. What a way to start their trip, he couldn't be prouder of them.

"You'll have to forgive these two for being selflessly heroic, I don't know where they got it from," Shermie explained to his new guest with a good-natured laugh. "I'm Sherman Pines, their grandfather, but call me Shermie."

Misao leaned into Mabel. "It's good to meet you. Wherever they get it from, I'm glad they got a lot of it." She hung her head. "I can't believe how sneaky that was; I would've gotten into that car without a second thought."

And she'd probably be well on her way to being ransomed by the end of the day. Her mother would not like that one bit.

On that note, she pulled out her phone again. "I should call my mother and my host family."

"Why were they after you?" Dipper asked.

Misao began writing a text. "Plenty of reasons. My family runs a company that specializes in the kind of things people like them want, and I'm the most kidnappable girl in the world."

Mabel agreed. "Yeah, anybody could just pick you up under their arm and run, you're so small and cute. I mean, I was thinkin' about doing it myself!"

"Aw!" Misao cupped her cheek with one hand. "I'd let you!"

"We basically did," Dipper pointed out, and Misao giggled.

She looked down at her phone. "I suppose I should also call the police as well."

Shermie barked out a less jovial laugh. "Leave it to the LAPD to protect someone? Hogwash, you're safer in this truck than in the back of any precinct in this town."

Dipper let out a snort. "Yeah, probably."

Mabel shook her head. "Uh huh!"

Misao looked back and forth between all three Pines. "You sure?"

Dipper nodded. "Our experience with police has been that they're not very helpful for things that get weird."

Pulling towards the exit lane, Shermie added, "No one trusts the cops in this town. You'll learn to do the same, quick."

Misao looked between all of them and found their unified distrust of authority oddly comforting. She looked at her unsent message to her mother, intending to alert her of the threat to her safety. "Well, I can't stay with you… it'd put you in more danger."

Shermie scoffed at the idea. "Don't you worry, I know a few tricks about staying out of sight and losing tails–they won't find us. You contact your family and let them know you're safe, and we'll get you to where you need to be by the end of the day."

"Believe it or not," Dipper said, "But we've been through stuff like this before. Maybe not in the same league as supervillains, but we're used to it."

Mabel laughed. "Yeah, Dipper's a crazy prepared monster hunter, and Sherpa used to fight Nazis."

"It was one Nazi, an Illinois Nazi!" Shermie clarified.

"You still kicked his butt," Dipper noted.

Shermie pumped his fist. "You're dang right, I did!"

Mabel hugged Misao. "And I'm the heart and soul of this team that keeps everyone together! Don't you worry about us or any bad guys that might be after you."

Staring at her phone, Misao nodded and tapped the bottom of the phone's screen with her thumb. "I doubt my Host family would be too thrilled at me bringing someone like Shego anywhere near them, either."

"Where were you headed, if you don't mind my asking–Miss?" Shermie asked.

"Beverly Hills."

Mabel's eyes lit up. "Ooh nice."

"Well Echo Creek isn't nearly as posh and gaudy, but it's got a nice character all its own," Shermie assured her. "It's just as LA as the rest of it."

"And Randyland's there," Mabel chirped.

Misao unlocked her phone. "Please tell me what Randyland is, because I'm afraid to search for it on my phone."

This was a good idea, Mabel agreed. "Yeah, the kind of ads I started getting changed a bit after I searched for it."

Her and her mother had the second most uncomfortable talk of her life after that.

"And that's why I don't use the internet ever," Dipper muttered.

"Good man," Shermie whispered aside to him. "I'm glad you could learn something from the Stans."

With it being the latter quarter of the morning and the weekend, the legendary LA traffic wasn't nearly as ferocious to the common Californian. It barely took an hour for Shermie to drive them from the dense city core to the relatively open suburban streets of Echo Creek, a town north of Route 5 and the LA River. Leaving the highway, he eased off the gas and let his passengers have a look around.

Right away Dipper noticed that there didn't seem to be anything outwardly unusual or strange. Doesn't look like it's been torn asunder by arcane forces or ancient powers and rebuilt into the image of an extra-dimensional traveler. Still… can't be too careful. As soon as my stuff arrives, the first thing I'm doing is erecting a barrier around the house. Then I'll have to grab some anti-magic contingencies, monster repellants…

Mabel's thought processes were far from Dipper's as she too enjoyed the sights. Ooh that boy's cute. And that one. And that one! Oh he's hot too! And his girlfriend… oh my gosh, is that a fancy cake shop? I'm so going there. OH! I wonder if that haberdashery makes hats for pigs…!

Misao watched the almost night and day difference between the twins' expressions. Er is wie ein Jäger auffer Pirsch. Oder hat zu viele Schlachfelder jesehen. Und sie is so verdammt gut drauf wenn's gefährlich wird. Mensch, ick glaub ick mag die.

"Anyway, while we're out here, I need to pick up my pull list from the comic book shop," Shermie announced, derailing their thoughts.

Misao hummed, looking from Shermie to Mabel and back.

Dipper looked over. "Pull what now?"

Mabel leaned over his shoulder. "You read comics Sherpa?"

"Of course!" Shermie replied. "I've been reading 'em since your great grandpa gave me a copy of Action Comics #1…"

His expression darkened. "… That Stan and Sixer destroyed by coloring in it…"

It went unsaid in their defense that they were both three, and he'd made the mistake of leaving it within their reach.

As Shermie pulled up to a stoplight, he continued. "Anyway, it's something I do in my spare time, and it gives me something to leave to you when I finally keel over."

"Ha like that's going to happen anytime soon," Mabel said with a clear undertone of talking about mortality sucks.

Shermie got the memo. "We'll swing by the comic book shop near the house, and I'll show you how to make your own list of stuff you want to read."

"I don't read comics though," Mabel said.

"You read manga all the time," Dipper pointed out.

"Yes, that's manga. There's a difference."

Dipper rolled his eyes. Get trapped in one comic book and suddenly you're an expert.

"Manga's all right; I can't see the attraction in reading about guys who look almost as pretty as Mabel here…" Shermie trailed off when a motorcycle came up alongside them.

It was a big heavy chopper, the motor loud even at idle. In stark comparison to its size, an old African American woman wearing a helmet and black leather jacket over a pink sweatsuit rode atop it–giving Shermie a challenging look.

Dipper looked at the strange old woman on her bike and paled. "Oh no."

Misao looked at Dipper then back at the old lady. "Wait what's happening?"

"Looks like an alte cocker wants a reminder of who the fastest driver is," Shermie answered with a smirk, and revved the truck's engine.

The old woman pointed at Shermie, hooked a thumb at herself, then pointed down the road–which the passengers of the SUV realized was effectively one long straight with no lights or side streets for over a quarter mile.

"Grandpa no!" Dipper pleaded.

"Sherpa yes!" Mabel cheered.

Misao leaned back in her seat and tightened her seatbelt. She did not expect to be nearly kidnapped, and she certainly did not expect her near kidnapping to put her in a car full of the oddest people… who were about to engage in a street race with an eccentric old lady. However, upon reviewing it comparing it to how possibly expected, safe, and civil the alternative was?

"MACH SCHNELL!" Misao shouted excitedly.

"I don't know what that means but yeah!" Mabel cheered with her.

The light turned green. In the moment it switched, Dipper just took a deep breath and grabbed the dashboard in front and the frame of the door to brace himself.

And with a roar of engines at a combined 800 horsepower they were off.

A/N: Rest assured, this is the beginning of a very unusual day. Fave, follow, and comments don't hurt.