Behind Blue Eyes
I don't own Danny Phantom, but man I wish I did.
Thanks for being patient with the shorter chapter last time, so I hope this one makes up for it! It's the longest one so far and also my personal favorite so I hope you guys enjoy it! Read on, readers.
Kind
Star knew what Danny Fenton was, and it wasn't nice.
No, Danny Fenton was too nice to be nice. Nice was being polite, being civil. Nice seemed easy, the thing that society said was the way people should act or be treated. Niceness was only caring about yourself and the way people saw you, the way people thought of you. Being nice was a show, a way to appease others. It hardly meant anything because nobody meant it.
Nice, Star was beginning to understand, was surface level.
Teachers were nice, cashiers were nice, most of the students were nice, her mother was nice. That was all good; she much preferred them being nice than mean or nasty and most of them probably cared about whether she was safe or not. But what did they feel?
The key thing that moved a person beyond nice wasn't what they said or did. It was what they felt.
Nice people acted nice to give themselves peace of mind. To ensure they were liked and had allies because they didn't want to risk a confrontation. If you weren't nice, you were usually mean and mean gave you enemies.
But he had found another option like so few others did and walked a different path. The more Star thought about it, the clearer it became. She had been a fool not to notice before; despite all the instances she was shown the truth. Nice wasn't a good enough word to describe him, it almost tainted what he truly was.
Danny Fenton was kind.
Kind was what Star was starting to realize people thought nice meant. Kindness, unlike niceness, came from a deeper place. If people were nice because they cared about themselves, people were kind because they cared about others. And care about others he did.
In the last few hours, the classmate she once mocked and ridiculed had shown her more kindness than anyone she dared to call her friends. He stayed at the first ghost attack for her, put himself in harms way, went out of his way to make sure she was okay and expected nothing in return. There was nothing in it for him to do anything that night.
He didn't have to stay, offering himself up as a distraction for her to escape unharmed. But he did, because he cared.
He didn't have to check on her after she fell, going out of his way to cross the field despite the rising danger and make sure she was okay. But he did, because he cared.
He didn't have to fight the ghost. He could've just hid and kept them safe until Phantom showed up and stopped the ghost himself. But he did, because he cared.
He cared so much, Star realized, that he gave up the rest of his evening for her despite everything she had a part in putting him through. He stayed with her when her best friend ran away. He walked her home when he could've left and met up with Manson and Foley. He gave her favorite hair-clip back when even she had totally forgotten all about it by the next day. He went out of his way to return it to her in a way he thought she would prefer.
He didn't care how much longer it would take to leave her hair-clip in her locker. He didn't care how it would've looked for him if someone had seen him trying to break into it. He didn't care that it would've made his life easier to not even think about returning it; to anyone else it was just a dumb hair-clip.
Star borderline didn't understand how someone could even be capable of the level of thoughtfulness and kindness expressed over and over again by Danny Fenton.
"Star? What are you still doing here?" Had been the first thing out of his mouth last night when he had approached her under the bleachers. From that moment, his entire focus seemed to shift from 'get away' to 'get Star away'.
He showed nearly no regard for his own safety as early as when he tackled her out of the way of the first blast, going out of his way to shield her and cushion her fall rather than just avoiding it himself. She knew most of her friends or classmates wouldn't have thought twice of shouting something like 'Duck!' and taking cover themselves. But not only that, then he offered himself up on a platter for the ghost in an effort for her to escape undetected. Granted he was apparently more capable than he seemed, but being human alone put him at a serious disadvantage.
He held her with a surprising gentleness; careful not to touch the hip she landed roughly on even if it would've been easier for him. He didn't mock her or drop her when she almost refused to let go of him like she would've expected before last night, instead he offered reassurance that he wasn't abandoning her still even though she was now injured.
He walked her home with no hesitation. It didn't seem to matter to him that he just told someone he'd meet them at his house. He didn't care that the walk turned out to be longer than he expected or that it was definitely way out of the way of where he lived. He paid no mind to the fact that yesterday, she was one of the ones snickering as Dash bumped into him in the halls.
Even earlier talking outside of Casper High, he instructed her to run first before he even seemed to think about running with her. Twice in less than twenty-four hours, he had been ready go risk serious injury if it meant that she could escape unharmed. Then again in the hall, he had rushed into the classroom even as a dozen kids fled because he noticed one student of the bunch had cornered herself and done the same thing; his priority was Brittney Hall leaving that room and he was more than willing to hand her over to Star while he sacrificed his body, his escape, to ensure hers.
Before the last night, Star wouldn't have looked twice at Danny Fenton unless it was to insult him or watch Dash push him around. Now, she couldn't seem to look away. Metaphorically, of course, as she hadn't seen him since he disappeared from the classroom wrestling with that painter ghost. But even still, the blue-eyed boy consumed her thoughts.
Yes, Danny Fenton was a very kind person.
But that didn't make him a superhero, did it?
Brittney's words stuck in her head, echoing like an eerie realization. "Thank god for Danny Phantom, right?" Brittney had said right away after she decided she was safe. She had immediately assumed that Phantom had been the one to rescue her from her predicament and Star supposed it made sense; hardly anyone else around town seemed to do as much as Phantom for the citizens especially when ghosts were concerned.
Phantom was kind too, a real superhero if she ever saw one.
He fought seemingly all the time, all hours of the day and night against evil ghosts that wanted nothing but to destroy their home and never asked for anything in return. He put up with a lot; most people in town didn't even like him until the Pariah Dark incident and there were still people to this day that despised him. The Fenton's still couldn't stand him and were often seen chasing him across town, there was those guys in white that kept interfering with ghost fights and above all the Red Huntress was hated by nearly all of Casper High because of she seemed to be on the hunt for Phantom.
Surely, kind was the only other thing besides a first name that Danny Fenton had in common with Danny Phantom.
But then, the more Star thought and remembered the more confused she became. She never would've looked twice at any of the connections if the line hadn't been drawn for her, but boy were there a lot.
Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom were two of only three Danny's she knew in town, and she knew most of the town. They looked unbelievably similar, almost like a palette swap of each other. Danny Fenton's messy, midnight black hair held the same style and length as Phantom's and they had the same deceptive build. Both were lean and slim, both hiding surprising strength behind their appearance.
Being a ghost would explain a lot of the mystery regarding Danny Fenton, too. He doesn't make noise because he walks like he's floating on air, he doesn't trip because he phases through things, he's never tired in gym class because he can do so much more than an average human before starting to feel winded and he carried her like she weighed nothing because he saved buses of children in his free time.
There was one thing she remembered now that she felt foolish for forgetting, for not seeing this herself.
Paulina had finally caught up to Phantom one day before he could disappear after one of his fights with that metal ghost. They had asked him tons of questions, a lot more than she could even begin to remember, but one of the things Paulina asked was if he protected the town for money or for fame and Phantom looked almost repulsed.
"Neither, I don't need money and I don't care for the attention very much." Phantom told them, nervously scratching at his neck.
"Then, like, what's in it for you?" Paulina asked. Star could tell she'd never be able to do something like that without benefiting somehow, but Phantom shrugged.
"Nothing really, but if I don't stop the ghosts, who will?" He replied.
"So you fight ghosts all day to keep a town full of people you don't even know safe just because you can?" Star asked him and he smiled at her.
It was a small smile and at the time, she missed that it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Well, yeah. Wouldn't you?" Phantom shrugged.
Both girls were left speechless and before they could catch their breath, Phantom flickered away even as Paulina wailed for her beloved to come back.
Star couldn't believe nobody else knew about this, but it was a lot easier to miss the road signs to a place you didn't know existed. But the more she thought about it, the more she wished she didn't know.
She didn't want to think about Danny Fenton leaving class every day to go get beat up by ghosts across town and come back to getting lectures about responsibility. What must it feel like to be talked down to like that? How many people have told him things that couldn't possibly be any more wrong and he could do nothing but nod along?
She didn't want to think about Danny Fenton getting shoved into lockers, insulted and ignored by the same people he put his life on the line to protect and save every day. What if one day he decided he had enough? Would he ever not save someone because of the way he was treated? She wasn't sure she could blame him knowing the way things usually went.
She didn't want to think about Danny Fenton, alone and scared after some of the absolutely brutal fights she had seen the ghostly protector involved in. All cut, bruised and banged up just waiting for the next ghost to come along and start the cycle all over again. Did he have anyone? Anyone at all that knew how bad things really got?
She didn't want to think about Danny Fenton living every day with the fear of being hated for being something he couldn't control. She didn't want to think about Danny Fenton going home to a house he didn't feel safe in, where he felt like he wasn't welcome or loved. She didn't want to think about Danny Fenton being scared to tell his parents the truth in case they still followed through with their threats.
And the really, really didn't even want to start to think about what this meant for Danny Fenton. Was he dead? Alive? Something in between? Was he really dead or did he just sometimes look like a ghost? How had it happened? When had it happened?
If it had always been this way, his parents would surely know, right? But there was no way they knew, not with the way they went after the ghost boy. The thought of anyone, especially someone as kind as she now understood Danny Fenton to be, being scared like he must be of his own parents disturbed her. The two people in the world who were supposed to care about you no matter what, be there for you no matter what, do anything for you no matter what and always be in your corner and he was probably downright terrified of telling them even a little of the truth.
He couldn't tell them the truth about missing school or why he was doing poorly despite being rather smart. He couldn't tell them about the many sleepless nights or missed curfews he was bound to have, she knew there was no hour of the day that Phantom hadn't been seen fighting ghosts in the past. He couldn't tell them about the injuries that were no doubt received, always trying to be brushed aside. Even something as simple as 'where are you going?' couldn't always be answered directly or truthfully and for the first time Star really realized how alone Danny Fenton must feel.
Tucker Foley and Samantha Manson must be the only two people in the world he felt like loved and understood him. They were in on his secret; they had to be. The three of them were too close for them not to be and if anything, it was driving the closeness. It was the three of them against the world. Both worlds.
Finally, Star came down with a crippling sense of anxiety as she realized that the only one stopping their town from being overrun with ghosts, torn apart to pieces and rendered unlivable was an exhausted, lonely and scared sixteen year old kid carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
For the first time in years, Star cried.
She didn't know what to do with this information. She wasn't going to tell anyone; she owed Fenton- Danny, she owed Danny too much for that. But she couldn't just do not do something now that she knew. She couldn't go back to the way things were last week.
How was she supposed to mock Danny in the hallways knowing that he was putting his life in danger every minute so she could go home safely? How was she supposed to just stand and watch as Dash wailed on him knowing he was probably hitting already sore and broken bones? How was she supposed to call him a freak like Paulina expected her to knowing that 'freak' was probably exactly the way he thought of himself?
She couldn't not do those things either, that was what was expected of her in the A-list. They were all she had and Paulina could make sure she lost everything the same way Valerie had. Valerie, one of the only people she truly though of as a friend, was shunned from Paulina's posse because she could no loner afford the life they lived. The consequences for ditching the A-list or starting to befriend anyone outside their group, let alone someone as low on their totem pole as Danny freaking Fenton, would be a lot worse.
She wasn't as strong as Danny; he went to school every day and restrained himself from telling the truth, from harming anyone, from everything. He kept his head down and did what was expected because that's what made everyone else's life easier, and that's all he cared about.
He didn't care how many punches he took from Dash as long as Dash wasn't punching Mikey or Lester or Nathan. He could handle it.
He didn't care how many detentions, zeros or lectures he took from teachers as long as they weren't asking questions. He could handle it.
He didn't care how many times his parents had surely grounded him as long as they didn't know what he was doing. He could handle it.
As long as everyone was safe, he could handle it. But Star understood now that safe doesn't always mean safe. She knew now; she knew. That made her dangerous and it put her in danger. She really wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she had to figure it out fast because sitting on this would kill her.
She had to tell him she knew. That was the only conclusion she had come to. She would tell him she knew, go from there, and do whatever he thought was best. If he wanted her help, she would help. If he wanted her to forget, she would pretend like nothing changed.
That was assuming she could find him, get him away from his friends again and not have him totally freak out on her. He probably thought she hated him, what reason would he have to trust her with something as big as this. She was practically holding his life in her hands.
It's not until the next day when she decided that something was wrong.
Danny Fenton wasn't in school today yet and it was already fourth period. She hadn't seen him in the halls, hadn't heard from Dash that he was in a locker somewhere and he had been totally absent during both of their classes so far. It was strange; Phantom was last seen fighting the painter ghost yesterday minutes after it and Danny wrestled out of their classroom setting. It was almost unheard of for the last Phantom sighting of the day to occur as early at four o'clock in the afternoon, that was when they started picking up.
She would have to start with his friends after all, so she decided talking to them both at the same time would be best regardless of the risks to her reputation. So, between fourth and fifth period she pinpointed them in the hallway and started walking over, stopping halfway there as she realized where they were.
Manson and Foley were standing by Danny Fenton's locker, flicking their gazes from each other to each side of the hallway. Star realized with a sense of dread they were waiting for him to show up too. She wanted to turn, unwilling to make things worse, but Manson spotted her too quickly. They locked eyes and the Goth elbowed Foley, who turned excitedly as if expecting his missing friend.
"Oh," He said disappointed when he noticed her approaching. "I knew you'd change your mind about that date eventually."
"Is Danny Phantom?" Star pointedly ignored him, whispering her question instead.
"Is Danny Phantom what? Handsome? Brave? Single? Yes, yes and yes." Foley responded even as Manson rolled her eyes.
"We have no idea what you're talking about and even if we did, we wouldn't tell you." Manson replied, crossing her arms. "I don't know what you know or what you think you know, but you're wrong. Come on Tuck, he's not coming."
They started to turn away and head towards class, neither looking back at her until she decided she wasn't ready to give up yet.
"I'm worried about him too." Star blurted out. They both stopped in their tracks, turning slowly as she continued. "I haven't seen him either, not since yesterday."
"When exactly was the last time you saw him?" Foley asked her. She couldn't help but be surprised by the tone he had, almost accusatory.
"I didn't do anything to him and I don't know where he's at if that's what you're asking." Star reiterated. "I wanted to talk about the football game when he fought that sports ghost, I had questions. But then another ghost attacked us. He told me to run, but I panicked and dragged us both back here. It followed us, attacked a classroom and he went in to save a girl, Brittney. The door shut and locked after I pulled her out, I saw them fighting but they disappeared after a few minutes and I didn't see where. I haven't seen either of them since."
Manson and Foley stayed silent for a good while, exchanging glances with each other as they looked over at her. Star didn't understand the silent conversation they were having and spoke up again.
"I don't care if you believe it, but it's true. I just wanted to tell him I knew so I would know what to do. I guess you guys don't know either." She paused again, hoping to get something of a response from them but they still only stared.
Just as she was about to turn and leave, she heard the familiar click of Paulina's heels coming behind her.
"What's going on here? Were you telling them how pathetic they look probably trying to break Freaky Fenton out of his locker?" Paulina sneered at Manson and Foley.
Foley actually had to grab Manson by the wrist to stop her from reaching at the Latina girl. Paulina hardly flinched away and Star looked down at the floor.
"Forget it Sam, we've got bigger problems. She's not worth it." Foley said, starting to walk away.
"You're right Tucker- they're not worth it." Manson spat back at them even as she let Foley start to pull her away.
Right at that moment, Star made her choice.
"No." Star nearly yelled. "I was talking to them Paulina, because they're people too and don't deserve to be treated how you- how we treat them. I was trying to start over because I can't stop feeling guilty for everything I've helped you put these people through and I would really appreciate it if you mind your own business for once."
It seemed like everyone in the hallway froze. Nobody seemed to be able to move, like they were all waiting to give Star the chance to take it all back. She didn't know where all that confidence came from, but she was thankful for it when Paulina only huffed and turned angrily leaving her with a wide-eyed Manson and Foley.
"I meant that with everything I had. I'm sorry for the way I treated you all and every one before. I do want to start over with you two and Fent-Danny, if you'll give me the chance." Star finished, feeling awkward with them still staring at her.
Just as she turned to leave, one of them spoke to her. Surprisingly, it wasn't Foley who seemed open to giving her a chance.
"Ask us your questions after school, we'll decide then how much you've changed." Manson told her, but before she could smile the Goth spoke again. "This isn't what I want, but Danny would kill us for not giving you a second chance."
Then she turned and left with a quickness that surprised the blonde. Foley stuck around only a few seconds longer; long enough to shoot her a 'she means it' look and follow his friend down the hall.
Star was left standing along in the hallway as the bell rang.
Star sat on the steps of Casper High for forty minutes after school ended waiting for Manson and Foley to show up. This was no doubt some screwed up test for her; they wanted to see if she would stick to her word and meet them later.
Well she had, now where were they?
Just as she started thinking it wasn't a test but a set up and a bit of payback sprinkled in to make her look and feel like a fool, she heard the steady thud of Manson's steel-toed boots and the soft beeps of Foley's PDA.
She looked up from the ground and saw them standing over her so she rose to meet them, quickly dusting herself off and composing herself.
"Thanks for showing up." Star found herself saying.
The iciness around Manson thawed a little, her shoulders dropping. Clearly, she had been expecting a change of heart.
"Thanks for waiting, we were trying to find Danny." Man-Sam told her.
She was going to start over, so being on a first name basis would probably help her case. Not Manson and Foley, she reminded herself, but Sam and Tucker.
"Any luck?" Star asked hopefully. They glanced between each other again.
"We can't get a lock on his Ecto-signature, he's probably not in town. If he's still on Earth." Tucker replied, glancing back down to his device.
Star deflated a bit, but reveled in the little bit of information. The first statement that confirmed the theories she'd been having since yesterday. Danny Fenton was Danny Phantom.
Well, it didn't sound like a revelation when you put it that way.
"So it's true, then? He really is… you know… Phantom?" Star asked. She needed to hear someone else say it for it to be real.
"Yeah. Yeah he is." Sam replied. "But don't think we're answering all your questions right now. There are things you don't get to know- not yet, and certain things would be better if Danny told you."
"You really don't trust me, do you?" Star asked. She couldn't deny she was hurt, but she understood.
"We don't trust easily anymore." Tucker told her. "Fool me once, you know?"
"The only reason you're here is because we both believed you knew too much not to figure it out for yourself if you hadn't already by the time you came up to us in school. If you know something like this, we'd rather know what you know than leave you off to play junior detective." Sam explained.
"And because we decided you deserved a second chance. No way Paulina's gonna let earlier go, we'd rather give you the chance to have us than nobody." Tucker added.
"Sounds like you guys have dealt with this kind of thing before." She commented despite herself.
"One too many times." Sam muttered to herself and for the first time, Star thought about what a toll Danny's secret would've taken on her too. On both of them. "I guess you have some questions, right?"
Star nodded. Where did she even begin?
Well it's about time someone in Amity Park started using their heads! I tried to make this as believable as possible with how I've portrayed Star so far and how we've seen her behave in the show; it's hard writing someone that seems to not have anything beyond solid character design. Let me know how I did and I'll hopefully see you all again soon!