Authors notes: A warning, this is about to get quite dark.

[Edits 07/07/2019]: I was always unhappy with how I'd written the final of this story. So I edited the second half of this chapter. Nothing too major, it still ends the same way.

Chapter 32

Midnight Approaches.

Ravens hands were shaking as the full impact of what had just occurred hit her. The TARDIS was gone, so was the Doctor. Kasey had ran off, Frank had burnt up and Fiver just fell apart. She was on her own.

She held up her hands in a defensive posture and prepared to fight the mummy coming from the basement. But it wasn't there. Its as if it had totally vanished.

She felt something through her legs. Some kind of Earth tremor. It came again only stronger. The light from the fire outside caught her attention and she retreated back into the living room.

Kasey was in here, curled up on the floor, holding his head looking like he was going into full panic mode. He was rocking back and forth like something had deeply disturbed him.

The Doctor said Kasey was the key to all of this, and he was certainly hiding something, and right now she had no patience. She glided over to him, she was aware her image now looked intimidating, but she didn't care. She could feel her eyes burning red.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE TARDIS?!" Raven raged, "We were all safe in there, and you ran out!" Kasey just rocked backwards and forwards. He was mumbling something under his breath.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real, it's not real!" he was repeating it over and over as if trying to convince himself of something he knew wasn't right. "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real, it's not real!"

"SHUT UP!" she screamed at him, grabbing him by his collar and forcing him to his feet, "TELL ME THE TRUTH, RIGHT NOW!"

"But I don't know the truth..." Kasey cried.

"You're lying!"

"I'm not!"

"BULLSHIT!" Raven screamed, and a blast of energy erupted over the Christmas tree, but like everything in this world it wasn't really affected. "You recognised the TARDIS, didn't you? You've seen it before. Did you know the Doctor, are you one of his enemies? Tell me, right now!"

"I don't know, I don't know." Kasey shook his head, "I don't, I don't!"

"And 'that' is your problem." Said a new voice from the stairs.

The balled head of Sechi was approaching. He'd ditched his old attire and was now dressed in some kind of big, heavy battle dress with body armour, some kind of laser rifle slung around his back. At his belt he held a tube like device Raven guessed might be some kind of laser sword, but something more for ornamental use rather than a practical one by the way he held it. He looked like a soldier of some kind.

"This was all put on for you Kasey. I'm trying to remind you why you did it." Sechi said, activating the laser sword and it glowed orange. "I want peace. But I can't have it while you still live."

"Stay back!" Raven said, holding her hands up, "If anyone's going to murder this idiot, it's going to be me!"

"We're already dead." Sechi said, "Whether we live is up to Kasey. It was him who finally killed us, after all."

Raven turned and gave Kasey an accusing look.

"I don't know what he's talking about!" Raven was about to strike him.

"It's true. He doesn't remember anything." Sechi looked tired and weary, then spoke accusingly. "Any of it. Any of the horrors, any of the stress, any of the loss, any of the trauma, any of what you caused. But it's still there, underneath his shifting foundations he was built on top of. He can wilfully forget all he likes, but the shame is always there. You're a disease Kasey, you cause misery wherever you go. It's time for us to end."

The ground trembled and shook violently, the Christmas tree fell over and the lights went out with a smash.

"Those creatures are the spectres which haunt us. Waiting for their moments to claim us." Sechi went up to the window, a single mummy was staring inside. "This one comes for me. The Burning One comes for you."

"You've been letting them in!" Raven suddenly realised, murderous rage building within her. It hardly mattered if she lost it, her powers couldn't affect anything.

"We deserve to die, all of us. After what we've done, all of us. They all ate and drank happily while all being aware of the hurt they will all cause, the horrors they will witness." Sechi looked at Kasey, "And 'you' shouldn't even exist, at all. I wanted it all to end with me."

"Kindly start making sense." Raven's eyes glowed, but Sechi looked unimpressed.

"You cannot hurt me. In a way, I don't even exist, nothing of this place does." He was right. No matter how hard she focused, she couldn't grab him with her powers.

"Time marches on." Sechi said, he looked at Kasey. "Your watch, look at it."

Kasey reached into his jacket and pulled from it a pocket watch and he opened it, a guitar string nearly uncoiled out of it.

"What do you see? Describe it." Sechi said.

"It's stopped, just before midnight. Ten seconds to midnight." Kasey paused, "No, nine seconds to midnight." Raven grabbed his arms so she could see. Yes, the watches second hand ticked, it looked like it was struggling to advance on, but it suddenly jumped a whole second forwards.

Midnight was approaching.

"Time still marches on. Soon the end will occur and we can all know peace." Sechi said, turning from the mummy and back to Kasey, he waved his sword in a salute before plunging it into the window. It shattered and the mummy fell in through the shattered glass and to the floor.

Sechi deactivated his laser sword and placed it on his belt. Slowly he began retreating towards the kitchen as the mummy found its footing and began lumbering for him like a zombie. The balled man looked at Raven. "You'll find the answers you seek at the foot of the trail, where Kasey entered this world. I'd hurry, time is now short."

"And where are you going?" Raven asked, more confused than ever.

"I'm going to act the part of the captain, and go down with my ship." Sechi looked at Raven, "I'm sorry he dragged you into this, both you and the Doctor. You should've left when you had the chance, when I pushed your Time Capsule out of this world. Good luck. Once I'm gone, the Burning One will come for you. Face him, if you dare."

Sechi disappeared down the stairs, the lumbering mummy following him.

Raven turned back to Kasey, he looked like he was in denial of something. Raven finally did something which made her feel so much better. She smacked him across the head.

"Take me to the foot of the trail!" She fumed, "Right now!"

Kasey pulled on his scarf and coat and picked up 'Jessica'. They were about to leave when they heard the unmistakable crackling of a fire. A glow came from the kitchen followed by a smash as glass shattered. They could see the Burning One coming through the door, everything in the kitchen catching fire as he approached. They had to leave now!

Kasey just stared at this thing, he half looked like he recognised it, but denied it at the same time.

Raven grabbed Kasey and dragged him, she opened the front door and practically threw this man through it.

Kasey bounded towards his car and began clearing the snow from it. The snow storm had stopped and the forest around them burnt. It was cold, but Raven didn't feel it.

Taking his key, he opened the driver side door, and ducked in. Raven was about to bound over and pull him back out when he opened the passenger door for her. She thought he was about to get in and leave her.

She leapt into this small, bubble like car, which was actually smaller on the inside than it was on the outside. The doors slammed shut, Kasey putting Jessica on the back seat and he fumbled with his keys into an ignition hole on the dashboard.

"Seat belts!" Kasey shouted and pulled a belt a cross him. Raven had never been in a car before, so what was that belt for? She mimicked Kasey and fastened her own belt.

Through the windscreen they could see the Burning One as the living room around him burst into flames, he was taking his time as if no matter how far they ran he'd always catch up to them, eventually.

Kasey stuck the keys in the ignition and instantly the radio came on. Music sounded from the cars speakers, and it was a rather depressing tune.

'Hello Darkness my old friend,

I've come to talk with you again.

Because a vision, softly creeping,

left its seeds while I was sleeping,

and the vision that was planted in my brain,

still remains.

Within the sound of silence.'

Raven stabbed at the power button to shut the radio up.

The cars noisy engine roared into life, Kasey shifted it into reverse gear and the car skidded but slowly reversed away. Old Reliable slid and skidded as Kasey swung the whole thing around so the Burning One was behind them and they were racing away as fast as the car could carry them.

Raven looked into a rear view mirror and could see the Burning One still coming for them.

BANG!

The house just exploded, shattered to pieces, the barn and shed were both flattened by the blast, and the Burning One, still kept coming.

Soon they passed down the road, through the flaming forest and emerged into an area where the forest was already burnt, dead and crumbling, and apart from the noise of the engine it was now deadly quiet.

Raven decided she didn't like cars, they weren't very comfortable nor safe experience. Though that was probably because of the speed Kasey was taking corners in the icy conditions.

As they drove, the cars headlamps dully illuminating the trail ahead, Raven began to think. The Doctor thought he had the answer, and it involved an element of atomic mass 200.59.

"What has atomic mass 200.59?" She asked the air. It's not likely Kasey would know.

"Mercury." He answered despite being tensely focused on the road.

"What?" Raven asked surprised.

"Mercury. Atomic Mass 200.59, Atomic Number of 80, electron shell configuration [Xe] 4f14 5d10 6s2, liquid at room temperature." He rattled all this off and Raven was amazed. He knew more than he was telling her.

Raven clutched her hands to her head. She was receiving a telepathic signal, but it wasn't a message, it was just noise. It was distress, it was a well of negativity. The only way she could describe it was like the shock of some emotion being smashed into her. An emotion from the planet itself. The goth girl gritted her teeth and held back tears, not because it hurt, but because the emotion she was picking up from the world was... it was just depression. Deep, dark, hopeless depression.

I will not cry!

There was an explosion off in the distance and Raven watched the sky and couldn't believe it. It was as if the mountains in the distance, who's slopes were also on fire, were sinking and vanishing into the Earth.

What the hell was happening?

Suddenly a tear opened up along the road and it was as if an entire section of the world had broken off and was ripping itself away. Old Reliable skidded around a corner which now resulted in a drop into. Nothing... just blackness, a void that had nothing in it!

No, wait. There was something, a swirling blackness that seemed to keep fizzing in and out of existence. Darkness, coldness, and sharp teeth. What did that mean? It looked like it was trying to exist, but like a fire on the edge of life it just kept winking back out before flaring up again, fizzling and vanishing all over again.

The car creaked and groaned in protest at being driven this way as it slid and skidded rather than drove down the road. Raven could see the stars in the night sky. They were all going out, each and every one of them. It was like this Universe was dying!

Raven drummed her fingers at her temples remembering what the Doctor had said about a living planet. Is this what it meant? The planet was dying? But then why were the stars going out? Why was the core of this world a big, black void?

They sped down the mountain and into view came some kind of sign post. It said "You are now leaving." and ahead of them was...

"STOP!" Raven cried, there was nothing but a black void in front of them, they were about to slide off the edge of this world and into the blackness!

Kasey tried to thump on his car's brakes but the ice still carried them towards the edge. That was until a tree suddenly fell in their path and the car slammed into it at speed. Raven braced herself on the dashboard. Kasey did the same, but one of his arms reached across the dash, and as Raven fell forwards his arm deflected her from her path towards the windscreen and instead she slammed into the cars A pillar, probably saving her life.

When Raven came to she was aware of a pain in her head. Her eyes opened, despite the darkness whatever light she could see was stinging, like needles being forced through her eyes and into her brain.

There was a noise in the air. It was a tune that was being played from the cars radio, which had somehow come back on. The music that was playing was a classical string band. Slow and sombre, and it put Raven in the mind of something that had gone past it's point of no return. A digital display on the radio said.

'Now playing; Nearer My God to Thee.'

Kasey was slumped over his steering wheel. He groaned as he came too as well. He pushed himself back into his seat, his eyes crunched closed, he gripped the steering wheel tighter. Could Raven see an ominous yellow glow coming from his hands? Raven could see the bandages on his arms, there was a redness spreading out from them. Was he injured?

The glow suddenly made sense when she looked back and saw flames licking the edges of the trail and a single figure walking towards them, strong and with purpose. The Burning One was coming.

"Kasey, wake up!" Raven shook him. She opened the car door and dragged this idiot out, there was a scar on his head now from the crash. The car was a wreck, the entire front end had smashed in.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." He said, and tried to sit up, feeling his head. He screamed and felt his left arm. Raven could sense it was broken. The bones must've snapped when she fell forwards onto him. He'd saved her life at the cost of his arm. He looked like he suddenly realised something and quickly he dived forwards, reached into the back of the car and pulled 'Jessica' and his hat out of Old Reliable, who wasn't so reliable now. "I'm okay. I'm okay." He said, jamming the hat onto his head.

"Good." Raven said, and smacked him in the face. "I wanted you to be awake when I did that! COME ON YOU PATHETIC CREATURE!" She snarled at him.

"AGHHH!" Kaseys head jerked up, he was baring his teeth at her a look of uncontrollable, murderous rage on his face. Where the heck did that come from? Raven retreated instantly in the snow as Kasey snarled at her, so much rage and anger!

Kasey clawed at the snow, and struggled to take a deep breath before he shovelled a great deal of snow onto his face, and screamed not in fear but in utter rage. Storm clouds and lighting strikes arced across the void, striking trees, and blasting rocks. As the scream ended he collapsed in the snow, holding his head, in a pose that suggested he felt great shame.

The crackling of the Burning One reminded her of the danger coming up from behind him.

"He's coming!" Raven shouted and grabbed onto Kasey to haul him to his feet.

"Leave me, just leave me." Kasey cried, "I don't want to go on. I want it all to end." Part of Raven wanted to abandon this stupid man to his fate and find out how to get out of here herself, but helping out even this pathetic creature is what 'nice' people did, and she was really trying to be nice, but people like this just made things so difficult. She would not abandon him. For one thing it seemed like this world and him were connected somehow.

Grabbing him by the arm both he and Raven ran from the Burning One through the thick snow, which was drastically slowing them down. The Burning One just walked through the snow as it melted around him.

Raven felt the biting cold and began to shiver. She stopped to rub her arms. Why did she pick such impractical clothes again? A legless leotard was hardly the best clothes for freezing conditions. Then, suddenly warmth as Kasey put his own large coat on over her and dragged her to her feet. Now he was pulling her along. Raven wanted to shrug the coat off, but realised the gesture would be more to her detriment, and now he was going to freeze to death in that dirty, thin jacket of his.

From the forest Raven could make out a ghostly voice, echoing around them as if from the very planet itself. "Kasterborous..." What? What did that mean. Kasey stopped. "Kasterborous, your time has come."

"It knows my name?!" Kasey said shaking his head again, now Raven had to drag him onward again. "How does it know my name?"

They found a clearing and there was something here. Was this what Sechi meant? It was a grave yard! A small grave yard. Headstones were arranged in front of a stone crypt. Was it the families crypt? Other family members who had died?

As she passed the headstones she caught their names. Kaster, Dosrian, Tribus, Quattoreto, Fiver, Sechi. The names of the dead men, all who had died recently. What did this all mean? There was a fresh grave dug out, the headstone read "Kasey." There were a stack of disused headstones too. Six more of them.

Kasey tried to pull her along. "No, No!" She shouted, "The answer is here."

"And that Mummy is just there!" Kasey shouted and took another step forward. The ground in front of them cracked and began to split and pull away. The crack began to spread, curving around the grave yard and the rest of the world fell away, it was all burning. Unfortunately the Burning One was still on their piece of rock and he was fast approaching.

Raven grabbed Kasey's hand and pulled him towards the only shelter they had. The crypt. The lettering on this claimed it as the Crypt of the Tempus, whatever that meant. She reached the gate and tried to pull it open, but the gate had a padlock sealing it. The lock looked old and rusted, so maybe she could bash it and break it open with a sharp rock, and she found plenty of such stones at her feet. She picked one up and began bashing the gates lock. She would use her powers, but obviously they wouldn't work in this world.

The Burning One approached, each foot fall sounded like a massive creature was slowly coming towards them. It was right near them, she could feel the heat from it. It could reach out and touch them, but it stood there, like it was waiting for something. It had eyes only for Kasey and as Raven bashed at the lock with the rock she saw its eyes and mouth were sewn shut. It reached out, but made no attempt to grab them, it just stood there as if waiting for a gesture. But Kasey just shrank from it.

"No, No, keep it away, please! Keep the monster away from me!" Raven really wanted to bash this rock into his head now! Yet, despite sounding like a total coward Kasey was actually standing firm between Raven and the Burning One as if shielding her from it over himself.

Suddenly the lock snapped as she pulled it free and the steel gate swung open. Raven grabbed Kasey and dragged him down a flight of stairs towards stone doors which pushed open into the crypt, they didn't bother to look at what was inside. They both took a door each and pushed them both shut and they both slammed closed with a clang.

They were in total darkness.

They sat in the darkness as the Burning One came down the stairs. The glow from its body pushing beams of light through the stone doors. But it didn't seem to be able to break through this barrier, in fact it didn't even try.

Raven placed her hand and ear close to the door. This was weird. Despite being stone on the outside, inside it was made of metal. Cold metal? Her knee shifted and she jumped when the bare skin touched the floor and it was freezing cold metal as well.

What little light spilt into this cold room illuminated just enough to make out basic shapes. This was no crypt. They were in some kind of room. Hexagonal in shape, a big, black pipe circled the bottom of the walls which were covered in roundels all around the walls and in the centre was a mushroom shaped console with a glass shaft rising up into the ceiling with crystals within. This was something else she noticed. This place was far too large to be in a space so small.

"This is a TARDIS!" Raven exclaimed. They'd found another TARDIS?!

Kasey turned to look and he instantly retreated on his back towards a corner, that same look of horror on his face as he had when he entered her TARDIS. Something slotted into Raven's mind. It wasn't the Doctors TARDIS Kasey found so disturbing, it was 'a' TARDIS, this TARDIS and it obviously it represented something traumatic for him.

Raven got up, went over to the console and tried to hit all kinds of switches and dials, hoping to take off, or at least get the lights on. But there seemed to be no power, no drive, it was a dead TARDIS, a corpse. She hammered on it trying to make it go, but as she did a section seemed like it slid out of place and fell to the floor, smashing to dust. On closer inspection this entire TARDIS was like that. There were hairline cracks everywhere, even in the Time Rotor as if the machine was about to shatter into a million pieces.

What could this mean? Raven held her head as she tried reasoning this all out. Maybe the planet wasn't playing with them, maybe the Doctor had it wrong all along. But then what was the answer?

Raven rested her hands on the console and suddenly it felt like something dived into her mind. She was now seeing through eyes that were not her own. She got an image of this TARDIS, when it was alive. The hands of the man she was seeing through were racing over the console trying to keep the ship stable. The place shook violently, roundels were being blasted out of their homes in the walls. Sparks erupted everywhere, cables were bursting out. This was this TARDIS's death throws?

Raven caught a glimpse of who's eyes she was looking out of in the Time Rotor. A balled headed man in the body armour of a soldier. It was Sechi! Was this his ship? Was Sechi a Time Lord?

Suddenly there was a blinding flash as the console blew up while Sechi stood facing it. She felt Sechi being forced backwards by the blast, luckily out through the doors of his machine and out into open air. He was falling through a night sky, clouds racing past him as he fell. His hands reached up as if to grab and drag his ship back to him, but it erupted and blasted itself to pieces in a massive bang. Raven felt this machine scream as its life ended in an instant.

Still falling Raven then noticed Sechi's hands. They were glowing like they were producing their own light from an unknown source, energy flowing out from his sleeves. The same energy came from around his collar.

An explosion! That's only how Raven could describe it as. An explosion and it felt like massive amounts of energy were escaping her. It felt like she was crumbling to dust, allowing something inside to come out. She felt her form begin to crush down, the muscly bulk deflating, the fingers became longer and hair sprouted from the temple and face. The face, it felt like it was being bashed in on all sides as it reformed itself. The mind, it felt like it was being ripped apart and disintegrating, and it refused to reform.

The blast ended and Raven felt the clothes Sechi was in, they were far too big now and still she fell, tumbling through the air now and she woke up with a start as she hit the water.

Raven wrenched back from the console, back into reality.

That was Sechi at the controls of this ship. She'd just seen a vision inside his TARDIS, it had blown up, he was forced from it and while falling into the sea he must've regenerated. But then where was he now?

Raven felt her eyes grow wide, a coldness spread through her at the realisation that the answer was staring her in the face this whole time. Sechi was in here with her, they were all in here with her.

Slowly she turned to Kasey, curled up on the floor trying to make himself as small as possible. Understanding dawning on Raven as all the pieces fitted together almost perfectly.

"Kasey..." she said, "are you a Time Lord?"

He sniffed, and raised his head to look at her. "A what? I don't know what one is."

Raven had neither the time, nor patience for this.

"Get up!" Raven commanded, she was not in the mood to deal with his depression right now.

Kasey stood up and she reached out and took his wrist to feel for a double pulse. But the bandage over his arms. They were really stained with blood now!

Kasey snatched his wrists back and covered them over trying to hide something. Raven got over the shock of the discovery quickly and instead pushed him into the wall and held him there while she placed her head to his chest and listened to his heart beat.

Thud, thud, thud, thud, a pause. Thud, thud, thud, thud, another pause. Thud, thud, thud, thud. A rythem of four, two on each side. The heartbeat of a Time Lord.

Raven pulled her head away. "This TARDIS is yours, isn't it." It was a statement, not a question.

Kasey shook his head, tears in his eyes. "I don't know what you mean..."

"BULLSHIT!" Raven slammed her fist into the wall, and he tried to shrink further away into it. "A Time Lord and a TARDIS, here together, and it's not yours?"

"I'm not a Time Lord." Kasey said shaking his head. He seemed very sure of that, like he was convinced of it.

Taking a deep breath Raven moved away and rubbed her fingers against her temples as she put the pieces together.

They weren't in the real world at all. They must be in a mind-scape. Kasey's mind-scape. Like when she was in the Doctors mind-scape a world had been generated, this was the world inside Kasey's head.

It was the 7th day about to move to the 8th. There were six others here, which must mean... Those other six people were his previous incarnations! Those mummies, they were supposed to be Gallifreyan Folklore, but the Doctor said they weren't mummies, so what were they? What if they represented the spectre of death which took each of the incarnations?

"I'm not a Time Lord!" Kasey insisted, more to himself, "I'm not!"

Ravens fists clenched and she grabbed Kasey by the collar and forced him towards the console.

"Look at it!" Raven insisted, almost pushing his face into the Time Rotor. "This thing is yours, you are a Time Lord, whether you want to be or not. WAKE UP!"

Kasey put his hands on the console to brace himself and push him away. But his body went rigid and he stared into space as if he was now receiving a vision.

Raven stepped away, his eyes were twitching as if something flooded back into his mind.

Suddenly ghostly figures were appearing around them. Each with a unique attire which shifted with each of them.

Kaster, clutching his chest and falling to the floor. A glow enveloped him and he became Dosrian. Dosrian then racing around the console, fighting to maintain control of his ship. A panel on the console he was near exploded and he was impaled by a piece of metal. He stumbled from his TARDIS, beyond the door but Raven could still see the ghostly image through the wall. His body exploded with energy and he became a younger version of Tribus.

Tribus fell from the ceiling, now in his older form and smacked into the floor. He writhed in pain as he slowly died, then his form morphed to become Franky.

Franky now held onto himself as if he was in great pain, like some power he was trying to contain was bursting its way out of him. Red flames burst from his body. He fell to his knees and regenerated. Fiver wasn't a small boy at all, he was a young man in his twenties with long, spiky hair. Fiver didn't look all that different as he clutched his stomach, he went pale and looked like he was dying. He didn't look all that older than he did when he was 'born', meaning the boy thing was a metaphor. For some reason he'd died young compared to the others. Probably as a result of that energy that killed Frank. A blinding flash and he was Sechi. Sechi falling through the air, exploding and from there Kasey was born and was baptised by being slammed into the sea.

Now Kasey, sitting down, presumably in his car, a fairly blank, cold, dead expression on his face. He was clearly in a great deal of distress, and yet totally calm about it as from his jacket he pulled out a knife and rested one arm across his knee. Then the visions ended.

Kasey stepped back, his eyes burnt with some horror of full understanding. As she watched she saw his arms start to glow. The same glow she'd seem coming from Sechi's arms. It all made sense now.

Kasey pushed himself back into the wall. He was trembling as he slid down it, curling up. He was a lot calmer now, but his expression was one of a man who'd given up on everything. "I've died so many times..." Kasey murmured and he pulled his hat down over his face "...so many lives... and I still feel empty."

Raven froze, that image of him, curled up on the floor, his hat casting his eyes in shadow. Despite his stupid clothes the image was like looking in a mirror again. This suddenly hit home. Kaster, Dosrian, Tribus, Frank, Fiver, Sechi. The people she interacted with, they weren't dead, they were here in this room with her. Same soul with a different shell and personality. The wise Kaster, the playful Dosrian, the arrogant Tribus, the creepy Frank, the irritating Fiver, the manipulative Sechi. She was looking at all of them. Six people expressed through one individual.

In fact, the names Dosrian, Tribus, Frank or Quattoreto -she guessed that was his real name-, Fiver, Sechi. Or Dos, Tri, Quat, Five, Sechi, they were numbers in different languages and they meant, two, three, four, five, six! Kaster, Kasey... Real name 'Kasterborous,' both contractions of the same name. Both the first and the current.

Now the clock wanted to strike midnight, because the eighth was coming. If this place was Kasey's mind-scape, and it was falling apart. It could only mean one thing.

It was his turn to become dust.

But for some reason, Kasey was denying the change.

The short man sat, he wasn't stressed anymore he just looked like he'd given up on something.

Raven knelt down in front of him and lowered her voice to get him to understand.

"Kasey, you're dying. It's your time to move on. You need to regenerate. That's what that thing is out there. It's 'you'. It's you're next form. It's nothing to be scared of. I've just felt what it feels like, it's like being born again." She lied, it was like being burnt alive.

Kasey swallowed and just said in a small whisper. "I refuse."

"What?" Raven asked.

"I refuse, I don't want to regenerate. I don't want to come back." Tears were slowly welling in his eyes, she could tell despite the brim of the hat covering them. "I'm tired..." he said in a flat tone "I'm tired of all of it."

With his arms crossed over his knees Raven could see blood-stained bandages again. More understanding dawned on her and she began to feel cold. He didn't resist as she gently took his arms, untied the knot in the fabric and unrolled the bandages. They were sticky with blood as she peeled them away. Her face fell when her suspicion was confirmed.

There were two, deep long gashes going across his wrists, deep enough to cause massive, fatal bleeding. These weren't caused by any accident, as he had claimed, these wounds were clearly self-inflicted. Raven looked up at Kasey's half-hidden face, most of it covered by his hat.

"Why?" She asked, her tone changing again. Was it concern?

"I... I don't know." He said.

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'?" Raven said aghast, she stood there, almost accusingly. A few seconds of silence as Kasey composed himself.

Raven looked down at Kasey's wrists, she still had his hands in hers. Gently she clasped his wrists in her hands and prepared to say an incantation to heal the wounds. But amazingly Kasey pulled his wrists away from her.

"No." He insisted. "I just can't go on anymore. I'm done. My number is up. I've lost all will to live."

Raven was just shocked to hear this. He'd seemed so bouncy and happy before. "Kasey..."

"No." He said firmly, "whenever I open up I always get hurt. The moment I think I've found someone who understands my pain, I speak, I open up. But they don't want to understand. They stab me through my hearts and cast me to the floor."

Raven didn't know what to say. What should she say? What could she say? She'd never met someone who wanted to take their own life before. She could barely talk herself back, how was she going to bring another back?

"I'm going to die in here, Kasey." Raven reminded him, hoping to use that thread to force him to regenerate. But Kasey had a way out.

He sighed deeply. "I don't want anyone's death on my conscience. My brain brought you here, you have no reason to go down with the ship." He pulled out his pocket watch and looked at the time. He pocketed it again. "There's not much time left." He held up his hand and a portal formed behind Raven. A shimmering gateway. Beyond which was her TARDIS. The Doctor was running around the console, fighting whatever was pushing the TARDIS away.

"I release you." Kasey said, curling up into more of a ball. "Now leave."

Freedom! Her mind shouted. All she had to do was walk through that portal and she'd be out of this madness and back safe at home in the TARDIS.

Raven turned back to Kasey and took a step towards him. She wanted to comfort him somehow, but she didn't know what to do nor say. She feared making it even worse.

"Leave me alone..." He said quietly. He was so calm and centred now it was creeping her out. "Let me die in peace."

Slowly Raven turned away and she approached the portal. But as she did she began to feel hollow. Raven turned and looked back at the broken Time Lord behind her, he wasn't watching her. His hat was pulled over his eyes and he was curled up waiting for the end to claim him in this cold, quiet, dead place.

Raven hesitated at the portal. The Doctor frantically trying to save Raven and all she had to do was take a single step. But something was stopping her. Her body refused to move and take that one step out of here, and leave... and leave Kasey to die.

Just leave him. He wants to die, its none of my business, just leave him to it. Her mind was telling her, but again her mind told her to do one thing, but some part of her told her to act otherwise.

What was wrong with her?

This was like when she tried to kill that baby and her body refused to do the deed. Why did she have to be so human? Why did the universe have to screw her over like this? This was all the Doctors fault, he was slowly turning her more human! Or was she always like this? and she just never had a chance to test her own character?

She was already dealing with her own emotional turmoil, her own negative thoughts of destroying herself; the last thing she needed right now was to take on someone else's baggage while she was still sorting out her own. She hated Kasey for this. She so wanted to accept the excuse that she had her own problems to deal with and that it was his fault for reaching out, finding the wrong people and then being as vague as possible.

He's going to die. Another part of her reminded her.

I KNOW! She screamed at it. What am I supposed to do?!

She turned her head, rage present in her eyes ready to talk some sense into this idiot.

This was probably a cry for attention of some kind, he wasn't serious. He was just lonely and this was all an act to get her to come back... But why release her? Why give her this option? Why tell her to go away? Why wasn't he making a sound to remind her he was still there?

No, this wasn't a cry for attention, and looking at the image of him, sitting quietly on the floor at the wall, hat down over his eyes. It just made her rage melt away. He clearly wasn't doing this to inconvenience or manipulate her, how could she possibly think that?

His mind had called out for help, sending an S.O.S. through the ether. They happened to be the closest people able to respond to him, they came in good faith and she was about to abandon him just because she didn't feel she was capable of empathising with another. He wasn't immature for crying for help, but now she felt immature for wanting to ignore it, especially after she agreed to help. She guessed in a sense Raven cried for help somehow when she tried to step out into the Time Vortex, but the Doctor had stopped her, despite his own turmoil. Kasey clearly had no one to stop him, no one who cared, or even noticed he'd be gone.

She never realised how immature she felt as her mind tried to come up with an excuse, any excuse, from, "He's play acting," to, "I've got problems of my own." Just to find any excuse to abandon him to die and preserve her own life and emotional peace of mind. At this moment she actually felt like the monster she was born to be.

"No." She told herself firmly, to every part of her that wanted to take a step forwards; she made it clear. "No." Her mind shut up instantly.

Turning away from the portal Raven walked back up to Kasey, her mind now focused on trying to talk this little idiot out of this. She knelt down in front of him.

"Leave me alone." He said. Raven reached out and gently gripped the tips of his fingers as they rested on his knees. "You'll die if you don't go, now."

"No." She said very firmly to him. "I can't just leave you to die. I already agreed to help." She paused and thought about her words.

"Go... a... way..." Kasey said slowly and firmly, and further curled up to close himself off and pulled his fingers out of Ravens grasp. When Raven didn't move he added. "Can't you see I want this? I want to die."

Raven swallowed, she was unsure what to do. Her darker side was screaming at her to 'stop playing the human, you will only embarrass yourself.'

SHUT UP! She commanded.

"Go away!" Kasey repeated. He looked up into her defiant eyes. She crossed her arms to further show that defiance. "GO AWAY!" Kasey screamed as he leapt up. Raven took a step back in shock as he grabbed her, spun her around and began forcing her towards the portal. "Get out of my head. Leave me alone!" Raven resisted, she twisted and fought his firm grip on her arms. "I want to die, that is my own business. GET OUT!"

Raven took this little hobo and held him in the air by her powers. With a flick of her hand he flew back into the wall and she held him there.

"You're stressed and you're depressed, so I will forgive you handling me like this." She let him go and he dropped to the floor. "But I'm not leaving." Kasey looked ashamed of how he'd reacted, he curled up onto the floor defiantly himself and pulled his hat down over his eyes like a sulking little kid. Raven sat down, crossed legged in front of him and waited, and waited, and waited. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why." Raven insisted, her voice calm and... dare she describe it as... 'caring'. She sat there in defiance. "I won't judge, I won't hate you, and I won't hurt you. I promise."

"You'll just tell me I'm being silly." Kasey sighed with an irrigated edge, "That I need to 'grow up'."

Don't say that! Her mind insisted, because she was prepared to say stuff like that.

"I won't." She said, and quickly told her brain to shut it, because those were precisely the words they wanted her to speak. She took his hand and looped her small finger around his. "I promise, I won't."

Kaseys legs folded further into himself and his hands ran over his face. He swallowed, accepting Raven wasn't going to leave him alone. She could sense the potential guilt of her death on his hands weighed heavily in his heart, but at the same time his mind wanted to firmly aim downwards into oblivion.

"My death is the only thing I have any control over." He said, and then stopped briefly before continuing. "Everything in life can just so cruelly be taken away, and all by people who'll wear a friendly mask." There was more to it, but Raven didn't interrupt. He'd speak when he was ready. "Everyone just seems to hate me; and I don't know why." Raven had an idea why though. Something in his manner rang false. It made him a little creepy, as if he wasn't a real person.

"I'm a failure as a Time Lord, and I fail at just being a human." He wasn't looking at her. His eyes were still hidden by the hat. Raven respected and didn't demand he look at her.

"What makes you say that?" Raven asked.

"I'm a monster." He said at last. "I remember everything, and I wish I didn't. It just makes me feel all the more like a failure." Raven didn't rush him, she let him ramble a little. "I remember before, when I first left Gallifrey to study the universe and help add to the sum total of Time Lord knowledge. I'd looked forward to it. But I fast found out that people hated the Time Lords, with a burning passion. We weren't seen as guardians of the Web of Time, we were monsters and tyrants. You can imagine, life was pretty uncomfortable for me. People were so angry, and a lot of them demanded I paid the price for the crimes of my people. Crimes I didn't commit, crimes I wouldn't even commit. Crimes other, more powerful members of my species committed. It didn't matter that I didn't do them, I was the closest thing to a punching bag they had."

"You're not responsible for your people's crimes, Kasey." Raven said softly, "People who think that are just assholes."

"I know that, but it still hurts. My previous selves never cared, they could walk on through and not care what people thought of them. I sometimes wish I was them again..." He paused, he began to cry and he held himself even tighter. "Then there was a War. While in my sixth body, the man called Sechi I was trained to use the rage inside of me. It burst free." He curled up more into a ball. "I became capable of the most horrific things imaginable. I... I... I killed people, I even justified their deaths, I'd snapped. I wasn't useful for my creative and ordered mind, I became useful as burning fire of anger. I kept telling myself 'it was for the War effort'. I decided I was hateful anyway, people already hated me, so I was conditioned to think what I was doing was an act of vengeance. I wanted to be hated, I just deserved to be hated. Everybody instinctively knew it. But why was a mystery to me."

Oh shit! Raven thought. Kasey's words echoed in her soul and she had nothing but sympathy for him. Okay, she felt a little horrified that he admitted to murder; but Kasey had become the thing Raven feared she would, one day. A true monster.

"I became the perfect soldier to fight in war. But still, life was empty, and one day I realised what I had been shaped into, and I couldn't take it anymore. I planned to ram my Time Capsule into an enemy planet. Allowing my ship to land with its true weight, destroying the planet, but it'd also destroy my ship and me with it." He sighed. "But something happened. I was attacked, I don't know who by, and my ship was knocked off course. My glorious death prevented. To protect me the ship ejected me and dumped me onto the nearest, safe planet; and as I fell..."

He held up his arms to indicate himself. "I woke up, no idea who I was, nor where I came from." Raven guessed with the weight of what was on his mind it must've refused to reform because it knew what it had done. "But all I knew is that I wanted to be liked. I wanted to help people, make them smile, to entertain. While I figured out who I was I realised I was good at guitar and people enjoyed me playing it. I learnt how to sing a little. I fixed that old car I found, and I travelled the Earth like a musical tramp with the intention of bringing joy to peoples lives. Maybe, I wanted to make up for what my previous self did." He laughed. "God I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid." He smacked his head repeatedly as he said each word. Raven had to physically restrain him.

"Do you know why I wanted that specific car? Everyone smiled when they saw it. Ironic, because it was commissioned by evil, mad-men; born in difficult times, but became a symbol of peace and love, all despite the heritage it spawned from." He laughed. "I saw 'me' in that car, it was all smiles despite its faults."

Yeah, it certainly had its faults. Raven thought, remembering the bumpy ride and the loud clatter of its engine. She'd rather take the wheeze of the TARDIS over that racket.

Kasey was now looking at his hands.

"I didn't age." He said, "I didn't know I wasn't human. So I didn't understand why my body didn't age as fast as it should. After spending twenty years on Earth I still looked as fresh as the day I woke up. Everyone around me was withering and dying, and here I stood like an un-aging statue." Raven couldn't really understand this concern, but then again she'd never really had any friends she'd want to grow old with.

"I thought you said you didn't have friends?" Raven asked.

"It's still distressing!" He sobbed. "Even if I found friends, companions, I imagined I'd have to suffer the painful reality of watching them die, while I carried on."

Does the Doctor ever think this? Raven considered.

"The people of the universe are also so terribly horrid and hollow." Kasey now said. "I had been considering ending myself for a long time. I met people who stood and professed 'suicide awareness', I knew them, but when I went to them with my problems they didn't want to know about them. I never understood why. I thought they just found me irritating that they'd prefer me to die."

"Perhaps you should've found people you didn't know to talk to." Raven said, "Some people are two-faced. Take my word for it. They'll preach tolerance, acceptance and peace. But when it comes down to it, it's all an act. It's part of their 'social image,' nothing more." Raven thought back to when some of the younger Monks on Azarath would bully her. What hurt about it was that not all of it was done out of malice or hate. Some of it was just done so they could boast to people that they hated Trigon so much that they 'bravely' attacked his daughter despite the wrath they might receive from the demon. But they never stopped to consider what damage it was doing to Raven herself. They didn't care, they just wanted to boast about how 'in-tune with the group' they were. "Some people who appear the most good, are in fact the most selfishly evil." She concluded.

"I began to get big on the music festival scene. I'd thought I'd found friends, I thought I was cool with the organisers, I began to finally get comfortable in my own skin and life wasn't that bad for me. But over time there was an undercurrent of something I didn't like." His eyes began to fill with tears. "I should've listened to my gut, because they..." tears began racing down his eyes. "They stuck a knife in me, so deep into my back, and I don't know why.

"Earlier today in the real world, I was playing at a local music festival. I could feel the undertones of something wrong from the organisers, but I couldn't fathom what it was. I tried asking if we were still cool, I tried to apologise if I'd accidentally caused offence. But I just got the cold shoulder. I still don't know what I did to piss them off so much. But it was enough...

"While practicing by my car I must've looked sad or something because a young girl, much like yourself, showed sympathy to me. I broke down, thinking after all those years I'd finally found someone who I thought understood me. We hugged. It was nice. There was nothing underhanded in it. Just an exchange of emotions." Kasey swallowed, and his head lowered again. "The organisers... 'asked me to leave', because they said I'd forced myself on the girl. I couldn't get them to see reason, nor understand. They didn't care. The reputation of their festival meant more to them than understanding my plight. I hadn't been accused, or anything, I didn't have a reputation for such behavior, I never even talked to girls, I kept myself to myself. I thought about it afterwards and the only conclusion I could come to was that they always intended to kick me out and just wanted a convenient excuse, any excuse. Now they had one." He began to sob uncontrollably.

"The guys were well connected and said they were going to make sure I never played at any festivals again, they told everyone horrific things about me. None of them were true, but no one would listen to me. I was the 'weird one' people prefer never showed up at all." Tears ran down Kasey's face, he'd clearly been thinking all this for a long time because it all spilled out of him so quickly. "Music is my whole life now. The one thing which kept me here, and it was tarnished. No matter how good of a player I was, anything I played was now tarnished. Every tune I played reminded me of the blade stuck in my back. I loved all my friends at the festivals, I thought they were all lovely people. I didn't realise my friendship was so fickle to them."

"Why didn't you find the girl to tell them?" Raven asked.

"Because I couldn't find her afterwards. Even if I did, I doubt they'd even listen. Over the years I noticed their attitude towards me was gradually shifting, becoming more cold. I didn't know if I did something wrong in the past, and they wouldn't tell me so I could make it right. It just kept getting worse and worse. Sometimes I thought they enjoyed me squirming, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I was their stress ball, and when they felt stressed they'd do something to give me a tight squeeze." He sobbed a little. "And they just didn't care what it was doing to me. They told everyone else the lies too. Other musicians who I was friends with, and they stopped inviting me to gigs they were a part of too. The social circle I'd built, the people I thought were my friends dropped me at the command of the organiser." Kasey but his hands to his eyes and he cried. "And I don't know why!" He broke down. "They broke my hearts."

"As I said, some demons hide behind a good image." Raven said, "Believe me, I know."

"But who'd believe me? The organisers were big in the music festival business. If they claimed I was a bad actor, then all the small venues would believe them and not invite me, just in case." Kasey swallowed. "When news comes out about my death I just know they'll read the papers and say 'Oh, I'm glad he's dead, I heard he was a wrong'un. He deserved to die.'"

Raven swallowed and her eyes started to become moist. She tried to fight them back, but it wasn't easy.

"Don't let them win." Raven finally exploded. "Don't let them have that satisfaction. They're gullible idiots. If your friendship with them was so fragile, if their careers meant so much to them that they'd stand and watch you get pushed under the bus then 'they' are the awful people. Not you."

"I don't care anymore." Kasey said, "I don't have the strength to try again. I'm tired of constantly falling apart, I'm tired of feeling this way. I don't care if 'they win', as far as I'm concerned, if I'm dead they can't hurt me anymore, so actually, I win. I just want peace."

Kasey understood. Raven understood everything having felt it herself. But Raven hesitated about opening up. Should she? Should she show that she understood, or would that come across as invalidating his pain?

"I..." She thought for a second, "What if... What if I told you, I completely understand. I understand how people can voice their principles, but never uphold them. That some people are so concerned about their 'social image' they'd gladly destroy a person, demonise them, drag them down, kick them so they could climb on top. All just to make a statement of how 'good' they are." He was listening, she could tell. She shuffled a little closer and took the tips of his fingers as his hands rested on his knees. "I know, because I've been through something similar." She wasn't about to go into the details of it, she didn't know if she should. "Not long ago, I tried to step into the Space-Time Vortex."

"But that would've killed you." Kasey protested.

"I know..." Raven trailed off. Kasey's hat raised up, his interest peaked. "I'd finally had enough of it all. Where I come from, they present themselves as a morally good culture. But I learnt from an early age that was just an image they upheld. They'd never do anything heinously evil. But they'll still gladly bully an individual if it makes them feel better. They thought I was a monster purely because of who I was born to. They made me into a symbol, a representation of that evil. With my powers I could easily kill all of them, they weren't aware of it, and at times I was so tempted to do so, to just give in." Her mouth shifted a little as her teeth ground together. They never congratulated her for holding back.

"But you escaped?" Kasey asked.

"I stowed away on the Doctors TARDIS." Raven said, "I intended to just live inside the ship. To whither and die within those walls. But... the Doctor can't keep out of trouble. I have to keep helping him. Only he can fly my home and keep it safe." Raven paused as her mind processed her feelings. "I... I... the Doctor didn't judge me. He treated me like a person. I was suspicious at first, and I waited for the moment he'd stab me in the back. But it never came. He was supportive, nurturing, but also firm and disciplinary with my behaviour when he thinks I deserve it." She swallowed, "He's like the father I've always wanted. But at times I don't think I deserve him in my life." Her voice began to crack and her eyes were welling up as she said. "He was the first person I met who didn't treat me like a monster."

She wiped her eyes before tears fell and she cleared her throat. "Just yesterday, I did something bad. I let the monster inside me take over. I hurt innocent people and destroyed our enemies." She looked away to avoid Kasey's gaze, despite his eyes still being hidden by the brim of his hat. "I thought I'd lost the Doctors favour. The only person to not think I was a monster, and I'd shown him I was. There were... other issues too, but I couldn't live with myself. I thought I'd never find someone as understanding as him. I accepted I was a monster and I opened a portal to the Time Vortex and I was going to step out."

"But you're young?!" Kasey protested.

"Does that matter?" She asked. "Before I could step out the Doctor found me and dragged me back. He refused to let me destroy myself. He still didn't see me as a monster, he saw a girl who was struggling in a Universe where I didn't fit nor belong. But he gave me the chance to do something right by the innocents I hurt, that was my only punishment." Raven's fingers began to clench and she stared into deep-space. "I wish he were my real father, I want him to be my father... so badly."

"You're hurting me." Kasey said.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Raven had been crushing Kasey's fingers. Releasing him Kasey's then felt his left arm, which was still broken. Gently Raven took the arm in her hands and she allowed energy to flow from her into it to heal the bones.

"Why does he 'need' to be your real father?" Kasey asked. "A parent doesn't have to be biological."

Raven looked at her pale hands. "Because Trigon is something I can never get away from."

"But still. You treat each other like father and daughter, I almost assumed you were. You want a parental relationship with him, you already have it. Everything else is just titles."

Raven began to blush. When did this become about her?! She quickly finished healing the bones and removed her hands from him. Kasey tested his newly healed arm.

"Thank you." He muttered. Grateful, but quiet.

There was a rumbling quake from beyond this machine. His end was near.

"Kasey, I understand. But... but..." Raven suddenly had an idea. "But listen, you're a Time Lord aren't you, and you're about to regenerate. Think about that. You're whole body and personality is about to change again. People won't know who you are anymore. You'd be just another face in the crowd. If you regenerate you can start again, only now you know who the snakes in the grass are."

Kasey was silent, but just under the brim of his hat Raven could see his eyes moving. He was thinking about it. Clearly, he hadn't realised he was a Time Lord long enough to think things through. "I'd have to start again." He looked at his hands, "I might not even remember how to play the guitar."

"Then re-learn, you learnt before." Raven insisted, "You might have new interests, a new direction, a new mission. But if you stop, everything you are dies, right now." Raven hated herself for what she was about to suggest. "What if we come looking for you? What if we take you away from Earth?"

"You don't want me to, though." Kasey put his finger right on it. Raven did not really want Kasey to come with them. The TARDIS was hers, the Doctor was hers. She didn't want to share.

Would it make it easier if you just saw him as another one of your toys? Her mind suggested.

Yeah, a little.

"I'm just a moody demon, who doesn't like to share her toys." Raven said. "But I'll gladly put up with the inconvenience if it means you live."

"Then you'll just be tolerating me." His hat lowered.

"Stop being an idiot!" She snapped but stopped herself. "Sorry, sorry." She started again, she had to force herself to admit this. "I'm not used to the company of people. It took me weeks to get used to the Doctor. This will just be an adjustment period. But I promise we'll find you, I'll look for you myself if I have to. What have you got to lose? But remember, I'm the one in charge around the TARDIS, got it!" Kasey laughed, he thought she was joking, but that laugh felt like a sign that she was winning. "Just please, don't die. Please, regenerate."

"What about the people I killed?" Kasey asked, this was weighing heavily within him too and Raven didn't know how she could empathise with it. Raven's voice became low, her eyes drifted to the floor. Her frown went deeper.

"I didn't want to hurt the innocents I did. But... I don't know. I feel like if I kill myself I would always be guilty. If I live and try to do good in the world, real good, then maybe I can make up for my sins." Raven refocused on Kasey. "Kasey, do you want to make up for your sins? Or do you want to die as the person everyone will truly think, 'deserved to die'?"

Kasey looked up into Raven's eyes. His eyes were red and watery, full of so much hurt, all hidden by the shadow the brim of his hat cast. His fingers curled around hers. Raven just wished she understood what was going on in that head of his. His eyes were now unfocused and wandering, he was thinking. His shoulders relaxed, the hurt in his eyes faded like he'd given up. Raven braced herself for the worst.

"Alright." His voice cracked, he sounded sceptical but firm in his conviction. "I guess once more isn't going to kill me."

She did it?!

Oh my god, I did it! I don't believe it, I did it!

Kasey wasn't moving. His hat fell down across his eyes and his tense body became slack.

The ground trembled. Oh yeah, that's right. Kasey's mind was still dying!

"Kasey, if you're going to regenerate, now is the time to do it!"

Suddenly the walls of the time machine fell away. The glass roundels vanishing leaving them, the console and the large doors standing in a vast, black void.

The doors of the machine burst open and Raven shielded her eyes as a golden light poured in.

Stepping into the room was the Burning One, but he wasn't burning anymore. He was a mummy glowing a golden light of regeneration energy.

"The Watcher." Kasey sighed. "The Time Lords light at the end of the tunnel."

The Watcher slowly came forward and stood at the console and waited.

Kasey's head lifted so he was looking at the glowing creature.

"I'm ready." He said. He tried to stand up, but he collapsed. He was so weak. In fact, he looked totally dead now.

Raven stepped forward and helped him to his feet. She put an arm around her shoulders and hoisted him up, and slowly she helped him walk towards the Watcher.

"Take this." Kasey said, pushing his pocket watch into her hand. "You're able to take things out of my mind-scape. That watch represents a part of my soul, and you can use it to find me."

"I promise, we'll find you." Raven said.

"For what it's worth, you're not the monster you think you are."

"Neither are you. Both of us are just screwed up."

Kasey laughed. They were both broken people, but each had a way of hiding it. Kasey hid himself with smiles and a need to bring joy to the world. Raven hid behind a creepy, threatening and aggressive mask to stop people looking too closely at her.

When he was close enough Kasey removed his arm from around Raven and he stood facing the person he was destined to become. He looked at the figure up and down.

"Another man again?" He said to the Watcher. "I was hoping to see what a woman would've been like for a change. But, oh well, draw of the lottery."

Time Lords can change gender? Raven questioned, but only briefly. It wasn't the weirdest thing she'd seen or heard of.

Kasey looked at his hands. They were slowly crumbling to dust! He rubbed his fingers together and tiny grains were beginning to rain down. But then his skin began to glow golden, like the Watcher in front of him. Wisps of energy ebbed and flowed around him from under his clothes.

Kasey reached out, as did the Watcher, their fingers splayed. They laced their fingers together. The Watchers mouth and eyes burst open, a bright, golden light flood out. It looked as if Kasey was absorbing the Watcher into himself.

As this absorption happened several figures appeared from behind Raven, stepping around and in front of her.

They were Kasey, his sixth previous incarnations. But they were different from the people she'd seen. No longer cartoon caricatures of the mind, but real people. Fiver being the most drastic change. He wasn't a ten your old boy, but a man of about twenty five with long spiky hair. Franky, or Quattoreto had an intense look on his face Raven found creepily familiar to her own expression. Tribus had a look of a young, fatherly figure about him. Dosrian looked the same, and the frail Kaster an old man with so many holes still.

Sechi however looked less than happy at what was happening as Kasey's form began to glow brightly. It was starting.

The balled sixth incarnation turned to her, a look of fury on his face.

Kasey's back arched, and there was an explosion as energy erupted from his body. The heat was intense, it was so bright and so powerful.

Kasey was regenerating!

Slowly Sechi said to Raven. "You shouldn't have interfered." He insisted.

"Yeah, bite me." Raven bit back at him.

"He may want to regenerate. The others may want him to regenerate. But I don't!"

"You're outvoted six to one," Raven said to him, "so tough."

But then Sechi activated his laser sword and he held it aloft, "I will know peace!"

"NO!" Raven screamed, and tried to cast a spell to make him stop. But Sechi, the embodiment of Kasey's guilt, wouldn't be stopped as he lept forward and plunged the blade into Kasey's back, skewering him through his two hearts.

The glow came to a stop as Kasey looked in horror at the orange blade poking out of his chest.

Behind him, his other incarnations had flashed and all had become the Kasey incarnation. Including Sechi, who still held the blade at the real Kasey's back. His body fell limp to the floor.

Raven rushed over to Kasey's limp body. Maybe she could still trigger it, maybe should could do something! She held the Time Lord's body in her arms and tried to do something, anything to save him.

But it was too late.

He was gone...

Kasey had been stabbed in the back yet again.

The Sechi-Kasey looked ecstatically happy as each of his previous incarnations faded out of existence and the place became darker and colder.

"Finally," he smiled as he faded away, "I know peace!"

Kasey's body then exploded with light, and when the light faded Kasey's body was gone.

Raven found herself kneeling on a rug in the TARDIS control room, holding a body that was no longer there.

"Raven!" The Doctor said in relief. He moved to see if she was okay, but Raven wasn't listening.

She looked at the watch in her hand. The portion of Kasey's soul she could use to find him. She opened it and a spare guitar string uncoiled from within. Looking at the face, the watch's tab which told the day had rolled over to eight. But the watch had frozen again at a second past midnight; and the face was cracked, broken into several, large sections. Raven reached out to sense Kasey's life force within this watch. But it wasn't there. Just a numbness.

Kasey's self-loathing had won out in the end.

The lost Time Lord was dead...

"I'm sorry, but there is no such person." The Doctor said as he operated the TARDIS data bank. "There is no Time Lord who went by the name Kasterborous, Kaster, Dosrian, Tribus etcetera. Not in the past at least."

"But he was a Time Lord. I heard his hearts beat. I saw his TARDIS. His other selves!" Raven insisted.

The Doctor sighed. "It's possible he's from Gallifrey's future. Or maybe he was something else entirely."

"But we've got to find him! Can't that watch find him?" Kasey's watch lay on the TARDIS console. If she could just find his body then maybe she could work her magic and bring him back to life, force him to regenerate. She just needed to find his body.

"We're in orbit around the Earth, but we're not being drawn anywhere by the watch." The Doctor said, a tone of defeat in his voice like he already knew it was hopeless. "I scanned the Pennines for any trace of regeneration energy of any kind. Nothing capable of regeneration has regenerated in that area, in the past, present or future. Raven, I'm sorry. But we might have to accept the fact his regeneration... it failed."

"Look for him!" She insisted. The Doctor didn't move. "Find him! There must be something we can do?!"

"I could go back in time and put a trace on Kasey's car, so we can track it through time. Did you catch the registration number on his car?" The Doctor asked, the tone of his voice knowing full well she wouldn't remember it.

"No, I didn't think to." Raven gripped on the edges of the wooden TARDIS console as hopelessness began to flood her.

"Make? Model?" He asked.

"I don't know..." Raven said, her face falling to the floor. "He said it was conceived by evil mad-men, but it became a symbol of peace and love. It was bubble like, curvy, the front looked a little... like it was smiling." Above her head black energy formed itself into a rough image of what the car looked like.

"A Volkswagen beetle." The Doctor said. "One of the classic types." There was no life nor joy to his voice, just the low voice of mourning. "Twenty-one million of those cars were produced. Thousands are kept in England alone."

Raven clenched her fists and cracked her knuckles. She straightened herself up as she wrestled her feelings to the floor. He'd been betrayed by one part of him, one part which deliberately destroyed his own regeneration. Raven kind of understood the idea of some part of your mind deliberately sabotaging all your efforts. She turned away from the Doctor and looked at the watch.

"He's dead." She said flatly, almost robotically. "It doesn't matter. His death does not inconvenience me in the slightest. It doesn't. He found what he wanted, he has peace." Despite her saying this she had picked up Kasey's watch and she held it in her hands. It was now hidden under her cloak, but it was there, and she held onto it firmly in case she dropped it. "I..." she wanted to say 'I am pleased he's found peace in death,' but it just wouldn't come. "I... I... Wh.. Why does this hurt? I didn't know him."

The Doctor sighed. "Maybe you found some symbolism in him, a representation of yourself in another soul, you empathised with him." He shrugged as he operated the controls. "Maybe you're not half the monster you think you are. No monster would talk a soul back from the dead while the world crumbled around them."

"I only wanted him to come back because it'd make me feel good." Raven said flatly. "I didn't give any thought about him. I only cared about what I wanted."

"Now..." the Doctor said, his voice soft but firm and jokey, "...that is a barefaced lie, isn't it."

It was, but trying to detach herself made her feel better, making it sound like a selfish act put her back into the category of monster, where she belonged. She stood as still and expressionless as a statue. Her tongue rolled in her mouth and she swallowed before saying. "I want to go to the Pennines."

"Raven..."

"The Pennines, Doctor. Take me there." Her voice flat and lifeless, but firm enough to show the Doctor would not dissuade her.

It didn't take long.

Ka'Chud!

The TARDIS had landed and they both stepped out into the Pennines. A flat, yet very hilly area that was practically the spine of England. It was a clear day, the sun was shining and it was such a peaceful place.

The Pennines was such a vast and open place, looking for Kasey now would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

"You know." The Doctor said, "maybe he did regenerate. I can't know everything." She got the sense he was lying to her. "The blast you felt that forced you from his mind sounds like regeneration energy being released. I've pushed my luck with regeneration in the past, I honestly shouldn't be alive. I may not have pushed it as far as Kasey did, but there is still hope that he's out here. Wandering the Pennines in his new body."

"Don't give me false hope." Raven said, the Doctor didn't deny it this time. "Some people can't be saved, some don't want to be saved." She concluded. "To some it's just easier than living with the pain. Deep down, Kasey just didn't want to be saved."

"Very Stoic." The Doctor said. Then he quoted. "'Can you no longer see a road to freedom? It is right in front of you. You need only turn over your wrists.'"

That was dark and depressing. She loved it.

Raven thought back to when she met Kasey, he was so full of smiles, jokes and energy. It still kind of disturbed her that anyone could be contemplating such a dark act in the back of their heads.

Just before they stepped back into the TARDIS the Doctor froze at a noise on the air. A dull rumble in the distance.

"Do you hear that?" He asked. "Oh, the Universe can be very droll, at times."

"What?"

"It was an old beetle car Kasey had, right?" The Doctor asked. "Well, 'that' my dear, Raven" he said referring to the rumble noise, "is the unmistakable clatter of an air cooled engine."

They waited and watched as over the hill came a Volkswagen Beetle, with some kind of cloth sun roof which was rolled back. It wasn't Kasey's beetle, this one was a pale blue and in much better condition than his was. As it past music blared from it and four teens were sitting in the seats laughing and giggling. Some waving their arms out the windows and roof as they sped past. They were all clearly having fun as they sped through the hills.

Why were they having fun, spoiling her dark mood?! It felt like they were mocking her. We're happy, you're not! Raven activated her powers, reached out with the intent on popping all the cars tyres for daring to have fun while she was still hurting.

But she stopped as she spotted Kasey's watch still gripped between her fingers. As the car receded into the distance Raven morbidly wondered if one of those laughing teens secretly contemplated killing themselves. What if her own dark, childish act started something that pushed one of them over the edge? Now that would be a truly monstrous thing to do.

She sighed heavily, her powers dropped and her hand fell limp to her side.

"Get me out of here." Was all she said as she stepped back inside the TARDIS. Under her closed cloak she was gripping Kasey's watch tightly, feeling some strange circular pattern on the back of the watch. Despite her brain telling her she didn't care anymore, she still held the watch tight. Whatever spark of hope there was in her heart had already been crushed. But still, she held the watch tight in case she dropped it.

Raven held the broken watch in her hand. Star Fire still sitting across from her, totally enthralled at her stories. From the Shaydes, to the Cybermen, to Vampires, to Kasey, she had listened to all of them with such an intense interest. But now at the conclusion of this one her voice was low, slow and full of sombreness. She was aware Raven had been deeply affected by that adventure, and at the heart break of not having any closure to it.

"Did you ever find out what happened to Kasterborous?" Star Fire asked, using his full name.

"No. I never saw him again." She placed the Watch back inside the box. "Sometimes we don't always get closure."

"But if he is on Earth, perhaps we can find him!" Star Fire said brightly. "You say he lives in the Land of Eng?"

"England." Raven corrected, "I've tried. But its like looking for a needle in a haystack." She laughed. "The Doctor was right, millions of those cars were built. I've seen dozens of them in the City alone, and they all sound alike." She sighed. "I've accepted I'll probably never know if he came back."

"Perhaps we are just early, and Kasterborous hasn't even crashed to Earth yet." Star Fire suggested, but Ravens face had gone blank. Star Fire looked at her with a knowing look that Raven had wrestled her emotions to the ground to stop feeling them.

"I'm sorry, Friend Raven." Star Fire frowned, "perhaps we should partake of the pudding of sadness."

"Yeah, lets not." Raven said flatly, all life she had in her voice while telling her stories was gone. Pudding of Sadness was something disgusting. Star Fire knew her customs weren't always compatible with Earths, and Raven didn't want to take part right now.

"Shall we end the stories for tonight?" Star Fire asked, sensing the change in Ravens mood. "Perhaps we can continue another time?"

"Yeah, maybe." Raven said. The box was still full of objects. A broken lap-top computer; some kind of rigid, plastic plunger; a shard of a mirror and a mass of other things. So many stories still left to tell.

Star Fire didn't say another word as she got up and left the room. She glanced back at Raven one final time before leaving her alone. Raven liked to be alone when she felt dead inside.

Now alone in the darkness Raven replaced the watch back into her trunk. It was a reminder to her that not everyone can be saved and some don't want to be saved at all. But since then she had learnt that she should still try, despite that. Everyone was worth trying to save.

She closed the trunk. The Gallifreyan symbol of the Time Lords present on the lid. She asked herself one question, the answer to which she was actually dreading. Why was this box sent to her?

She picked up the puppet of the Doctor she had in her lap the entire time as she told each tale and she held it in her hands. Out of earshot and sight of everyone Ravens eyes began to tear up, but none fell.

"Doctor, I miss you." She said, hugging the doll to her chest. "Why didn't you come back to me?" She dreaded the answer to that question too.

TO BE CONTINUED...?

Authors notes: Wow, 32 chapters. Thanks to everyone who've been reading what is becoming more an episodic story, and leaving all the lovely comments and reviews, you guys are awesome.

Hopefully the ending wasn't too much of a downer for everyone, I promise not to make future ones end so darkly. ;)

Tell me, did anyone guess the solution to this before the reveal? If so, when did you finally rumble it? ;)

Originally this story was supposed to be a pure fan fiction for Doctor 13, and was her dealing with coming into existence with her own, previous incarnations. But I re-tooled it so it worked in this story, because I think it works better in here.

I also toyed with the idea of making each of the people incarnations of the Doctor, hence why there were seven of them. But I felt it was too obvious what was going on. So I created a new Time Lord character, invented a setting and as I wrote I built up certain details such as his personalities, how they all fitted together, how they died and so on. Plus, it lead to an interesting dilemma where Raven then had to deal with someone elses' negativity as well as her own.

Kasey was actually based off the character Wander from the Disney cartoon show, Wander over Yonder; and the tragic character of Robin Williams, a man who was so full of smiles and jokes, but who chose to leave us. :(

As I wrote it, I realised they'd probably go find Kasey and maybe recruit him as a companion. But after thinking about that, I thought it'd derail what the crossover is about. Raven being in the Doctors world and interacting with him. With a third person I felt that would detract from it.

Cheers, I hope you all enjoy and continue to enjoy this ever-growing, long story.

Merry Christmas

-TimeLordParadox