Chapter 34

This is my Life?!

"Rachel! It's time to get up!"

Rachel? Raven stirred in her bed. Who was Rachel? She was still half asleep.

Raven rolled over in her bed and tried to go back to sleep. But a sharp, BANG, BANG, BANG at her floor made her snap her eyes open. It sounded like someone was thumping something long and thin into the underside of her rooms floor.

"Rachel, you're going to be late for school!"

School?! Wait, where was she exactly?

Raven sat up in a bed, and she meant 'A' bed because this certainly wasn't hers. It was like hers, but subtly different. The room was decorated in a very goth and Victorian style. Statues of Ravens and dark and creepy looking things were everywhere.

She pulled the covers off herself and felt cold. Where were her clothes? What she usually slept in?! She was naked!

She covered herself back over and tried to think. She'd gone to sleep in the TARDIS and now woken up in a strange place. It looked like an ordinary room in a house. Day light streamed in through the window with drawn, black curtains, so she was convinced she wasn't onboard the TARDIS. It didn't even feel like the TARDIS, there was no background hum for example.

Raven spotted some clothes on the floor. She instantly recognised them as the clothes she'd worn when the Doctor took her to Whitby. She guessed they were hers and began to put them on. This time instead of a short leather jacket, she'd put on a blue hoodie, a similar colour to her cloak and even had a hood with the same kind of lip to it.

Now fully clothed she looked around the place.

The shelf had books from Edgar Allan Poe, to Bram Stoker. Good choices. But whoever lived here also had a fetish for Zombies and Vampires because half the books were about them.

She located a copy of the Twilight Saga, and instantly she decided to destroy it. She focused her powers on the book and... nothing happened?!

Oh great, not again. Her powers weren't working yet again! Raven thought, rubbing her hands over her face. Something was missing! She felt her forehead again, it was totally smooth.

There was a mirror on her dresser and she looked at herself. Everything about her looked normal, she was still slim, pale grey skin, purple eyes that usually looked emotionless, and hair cut into the shape of a Ravens wings. But her jewel, the one indicating her powerful mind chakra, it was gone! Her forehead was totally smooth!

Did it fall out? She'd always assumed it was permanent? Fishing for it around the bed in desperation resulted in nothing but the covers crumpled up on the floor.

"Rachel, get down here right now!" came a womans voice from outside the room.

With caution Raven opened the door and stepped out into a hallway. Without her powers she was wary, and she was vulnerable. She tried to sense for the TARDIS, but the sore thumb void of a Police Box couldn't be sensed. In fact, she couldn't sense anything, at all. Not one thing!

Carefully she went down the stairs, taking them one at a time, and she emerged into a pleasant looking living room setting. Sun light poured in through the open windows making the place very welcoming.

Outside it was clearly summer. The grass was green, the sky blue, the sun warm and high in the sky. It was very welcoming.

"Rachel, come on and eat your breakfast!"

Rachel again? Was the voice talking to her? The voice did sound familiar, and as she turned and saw the woman her eyes grew wide.

"Mo... mother?" It was her mother! Her mother from Azarath?! How did she get here?

"What's wrong with you, Rachel?" her mother said. "Come on, quick. Or father won't take you to school."

"Father?" No, Trigon couldn't be here. Could he?

Warily Raven moved forwards and stepped into the kitchen. On the table was a steaming plate with waffles on them. She sat, and looking around she cut into the waffles and before eating them she smelt them to make sure they weren't going to kill her.

Her mother placed a cup of tea next to her and moved off to the sink to wash.

"Mo... mother?" Raven asked.

"Yes, Rachel?" Her mother asked sweetly, smiling. Her mother didn't smile! She did look like her mother, but she was a lot more peaceful and content than Raven remembered. Her mother was always very kind, but also very sad. This version was more like a busy house wife. It actually made Raven happy to see her mother look happier, but it also made Raven suspicious. What the heck was going on? What trouble has the Doctor landed her into this time?

"Where are we? Why aren't you on Azarath?" the woman who looked like her mother frowned and looked confused.

"Azarath? I don't know what you mean. Is that somewhere in Ireland?" Her mother asked, then she looked like she understood. "Oh, you mean that school we pulled you out of back in England? Why would I want to go back to that dreary place?"

Raven's eyebrow arched. "No, it's a temple in another dimension." Raven corrected.

"Oh, you read too many of those fantasy books." her mother said, "And they say TV rots your brains these days."

Okay, this wasn't her mother. It can't be! Could it?

Looking around like a wary animal Raven finished her breakfast and tea, and just sat there waiting for something to happen.

"Go up stairs and get your books together. Father will drive you to school."

Raven instantly stood up horror gripping her at the mention of her father.

"What's the matter with you?" Her mother asked. "Are you feeling okay?" and her mother came up to her and put her hands on her forehead. "You're not trying to play hookie are you?"

"Hookie?"

"Go upstairs and get your bag. I'll get you some medicine if you feel sick." and her mother moved away.

Slowly Raven backed out of this pleasant kitchen, back into the living room. She decided to obey and go upstairs for this 'bag'.

Back in the dark bedroom she found a bag slung into the corner. She guessed this was what mother meant.

Opening it she peered inside. A small collection of books, and a laptop of some kind. She dug everything out to take a look. English, maths, science. They were school books.

Taking the laptop out of the bag she set it down, opened it and switched it on desperate for some answers.

The laptop came to life and there were words in a text file on the screen that someone had been working on before closing down the laptop. Raven began to read them, hoping to find answers. But as she read more confusion clouded her mind.

What the hell was she reading. It sounded familiar.

Just before they stepped back into the TARDIS the Doctor froze at a noise on the air. A dull rumble in the distance.

"Do you hear that?" He asked. "Oh, the Universe can be very droll, at times."

"What?"

"It was an old beetle car Kasey had, right?" The Doctor asked. "Well, 'that' my dear, Raven" he said referring to the rumble noise, "is the unmistakable clatter of an air cooled engine."

They waited and watched as over the hill came a Volkswagen Beetle, with some kind of cloth sun roof which was rolled back. It wasn't Kasey's beetle, this one was a pale blue and in much better condition than his was. As it past music blared from it and four teens were sitting in the seats laughing and giggling. Some waving their arms out the windows and roof as they sped past. They were all clearly having fun as they sped through the hills.

Why were they having fun, spoiling her dark mood?! It felt like they were mocking her. We're happy, you're not! Raven activated her powers, reached out with the intent on popping all the cars tyres for daring to have fun while she was still hurting.

But she stopped as she spotted Kasey's watch still gripped between her fingers. As the car receded into the distance Raven morbidly wondered if one of those laughing teens secretly contemplated killing themselves. What if her own dark, childish act started something that pushed one of them over the edge? Now that would be a truly monstrous thing to do.

She sighed heavily, her powers dropped and her hand fell limp to her side.

"Get me out of here." Was all she said as she stepped back inside the TARDIS. Under her closed cloak she was gripping Kasey's watch tightly, feeling some strange circular pattern on the back of the watch. Despite her brain telling her she didn't care anymore, she still held the watch tight. Whatever spark of hope there was in her heart had already been crushed. But still, she held the watch tight in case she dropped it.

To Be Continued...

Raven instantly and sharply shut the laptop and stepped away from it.

That had been the last adventure she'd had with the Doctor, when Kasey, that suicidal Time Lord had slipped through her fingers. What mess had the Doctor gotten her into now?

Raven decided to pack everything away in her bag and play her part, for now.

"Rae-Rae!" a voice called up the stairs. It was the Doctor! He then said in a light hearted voice. "I'm going now, hurry up or you're walking to school."

School? Raven picked up her bag and went to the stairs and looked down at the man waiting at the door.

It was the Doctor alright, or it looked like him. Same face, hair, same smile. He was in a white shirt, a fastened green blazer with white trousers.

"What are you waiting for, Christmas? Come on, Raven." He called her Raven?

She took the stairs one at a time, not taking her eyes off this man. She wasn't buying this, whatever it was. It must be a trick of some kind... was it?

Ravens mother came into the hall and handed her a clear box with food in it, and she hugged her. Raven was being hugged? Mother broke off the hug and went to the Doctor, and she hugged and kissed him.

Raven thought she was going to be sick.

"Have a good day at work." she said.

"I always do."

Her mother turned back to Raven, but she was too stunned to move or speak.

"Hurry up or you'll make father late, Rachel." mother said, and the box of food slipped from Ravens hands and smashed to the floor. What did mother just say?!

"My Father?!" Raven looked at the Doctor, back to her mother and back to the Doctor. Okay, this was a trick of some kind, it had to be.

"Raven, are you feeling okay?" the Doctor asked. Mother rolled her eyes when the Doctor called her that name.

The Doctor came up and rested his hands on her shoulders and gently prompted her out the door. "Come on, daughter. I can't be late for work this time." and he steered her out the door, into the garden. They have a garden?! And towards a purple, bubble like car on the drive. It was similar to Kasey's and it was the same car the Doctor had in the TARDIS garage in pieces. What did he call it. An old 'beetle'? Looking back at the house she noticed the door was painted a dark blue, the same dark blue as the TARDIS.

The Doctor opened the door of the car and Raven gently climbed into the passenger side. The car was smaller on the inside, than the outside. The Doctor climbed into the drivers seat.

Raven looked out at the door and saw her mother waving happily at them as the Doctor fired up this cars engine. He waved happily to her mother, reversed off the drive and sped off down the road in this tin box. Raven just remained silent, breathing in very deeply, she felt like she was in terrible danger and her fight or flight response was activated. This couldn't be the Doctor, this couldn't be that old car of his, that couldn't have been her mother, that door was not the TARDIS.

"Are you feeling okay, Rae-Rae?" The Doctor asked her.

"I'm a little confused." Raven admitted. "You are my father?... my real biological father?" The Doctor looked confused and concerned.

"You're not trying to skive off school are you?" Skive? "Should I take you to hospital instead?"

"Just humour me, please." Raven asked. "You are my father?"

"I admit nine months before you were born, I did the dance with your mother, yes." Okay, too much information!

"A simple 'yes' would've done." Raven said.

"Yes, you're definitely my daughter." The Doctor said laughing, "You're like me. Very strange, indeed."

"Why do you talk like that? Like a man from England?" He was confused, but the Doctor answered her.

"Because its where I was born. It's where you were born too. We lived there for a few more months before mother decided she wanted to go back to the States."

"The United States of America?" Raven asked.

"Yes, and what a state it's in." The Doctor joked. Raven processed this before asking.

"Why do you call me Raven? Mother calls me Rachel?" The Doctor looked confused.

"I've called you that since you went all goth." The Doctor said. "You wanted to be called Raven, but mother wouldn't play along. Then it became little Rae- Rae, because I thought you looked adorable when you scowl."

I look adorable when I scowl?!

"What's the TARDIS?"

"TARDIS?" He questioned, "Don't you mean CARDIS?" He didn't take his eyes off the road but could sense her confusion.

"CARDIS, it's what you called the jitter bug here when you were six." He said, patting the steering wheel. "Are you sure you don't want to go to hospital?"

"I think I need my ears syringing, everything just sounds so strange." Raven said putting a hand to her head.

"Who is Trigon?" she then asked.

"Oh, that's just a bogey man your mother tried to scare you into being good with." The Doctor sighed deeply, clearly he didn't approve of her mothers methods.

"What is Gallifrey? What is Azarath?"

"Gallifrey was the University I graduated from. Azarath is a school we tried to send you to, but you hated it."

"Why doesn't mother remember it?" Raven asked.

"Too many bad memories for her." The Doctor added mysteriously. "You were bullied there. Don't you remember? Probably for the best that you don't."

Raven needed some air, so she wound the window down and felt the cool breeze on her face, the fresh, warm, summer air. It felt too perfect. There must be a flaw somewhere in this illusion. It must be an illusion, right?

The car pulled up outside a large building called the School of Arcadia. Wasn't Arcadia a city on Gallifrey?

"Hurry now. Or you'll be late for lessons." The Doctor said and when Raven looked back at him he reached forward and embraced her in a hug, a loving hug one might give their own child.

Gingerly Raven reached around his back and gave him a hug too, playing her part.

"I love you, my little Rae-Rae." He said, Raven went rigid and felt her eyes start to mist up. "Aren't you going to say 'I love you too, father?'"

"I..." her voice croaked, a well of confused thoughts and emotions swirling around her. "I... I... I... love you too... far...farther... my... father... I love you, father..."

He released her, but she found it hard to release him, in fact she held him tighter as her brain tried to process what had just happened. "Rae-Rae, you're going to have to let me go at some point. I can't carry you into work like this." But she didn't want to let him go. She'd never felt this way before and she didn't want it to end. "Come on Rae-Rae, let go of me." He chuckled.

Raven then released him and he kissed her on the forehead, where her chakra should be. "Hurry now, learning awaits. And the University won't like me being late a second time."

Raven opened the car door and nearly fell out of it, she was overwhelmed by emotion. She shut the door and the car moved off, the Doctor... her father waving cheerily at her as the bubble car merged into traffic.

"I love you, dad." Raven whispered, and her eyes welled up. She was emotional, but her powers, nothing was happening. No bangs, no whooshes, no screams from people as power escaped her. There were no longer any consequences to feeling anything?

Slinging her bag over her back she gingerly walked up to the school. There were plenty of kids here, and she now felt uncomfortable again. Where was she? What was happening? Why didn't she remember anything before this that didn't sound like total fantasy?

As she thought about it, it was as if the answer was obvious. They were fantasies, what she remembered was all a fantasy. It had all been a fiction she'd written. She remembered, she was so unhappy at Azarath, being so far away from home that she began to express her unhappiness in writing.

She invented a character for herself, called Raven, and expressed her loneliness through her. While at Azarath, a boarding school in the middle of nowhere, she missed her father deeply. Everyone treated her badly making her think there was something wrong with her. They even called her all kinds of names and made her out to be a monster. She couldn't defend herself because they'd twist her words to make her sound like she said something else. The teachers didn't care, they just let the bullying happen because it was easier than trying to deal with it.

So when she created Raven it was to deal with her own conflict. She was a monster and a monster needed an evil parent. With her father absent she'd made her tragic character the daughter of the bogeyman Trigon.

Then when her father came to the school and saw how unhappy she was he instantly pulled her out. Practically hauling her cases onto the CARDIS himself and took her away from all that. That's when she created the Doctor, a man who could take Raven away in his magical machine. The TARDIS, hidden inside a Police Box.

Why a Police Box? She thought about it and it came to her. There was an old, abandoned Police Box outside the school, in the village. She'd acquired the key for it and whenever she felt emotional, whenever she broke down, whenever she needed to get away from the world she'd go inside, lock the door and emote all she wanted. It was within those safe walls she began to write her story with her own character, and she had named the story the 'Lost Child of Azarath' because it detailed how Raven was gradually healing after all the trauma.

Yes, yes, that was it. She was starting to remember. She had been writing a new chapter of the story last night that she had posted up on the internet. She had fans... she had fans who loved her writing and wanted to know what adventures the Doctor and Raven would go on next. Raven must've fallen asleep, still wondering where to take the story next, and when she woke up she was in Ravens mind, not her own.

"Rachel!" Said a voice and Raven found herself being hugged by a tall girl with long, red hair. Yes, she remembered this girl. It was Stella, it was her friend.

"Hurry, we need to get to class." Stella took her hand. "If you're late this time Mr. Vale will give you detention for sure."

Over in the corner were three others. A large man of a dark complexion, a boy with spiky hair, a smaller boy with a wide face and a goof-ball kind of manner to him. Victor, Richard and Garfield, respectfully. Her friends...? She had friends! And they were waiting for her despite her being late.

"Hey, that sounds like us! But... how the...?!"

"Beast Boy, what did I say about interrupting?!"

"Sorry..."

Rachel resisted Stella's pull for a second and motioned that she needed to use the bathroom.

"Be quick, we'll wait for you." and Rachel ducked in and went to the sink. She rested her hands on the edges and tried to breathe deeply. She filled the sink and splashed cold water onto her face trying to make her wake up. But she was still here in this world.

She looked into the mirror and saw herself, her forehead still jewel-less. Rachel was smiling. She swallowed. She had friends who stood by her, a loving father she actually loved back, a caring mother who was also happy, Trigon was just a made up bogeyman, she could feel emotions freely without consequences, and the darkness in her head... there was no darkness, her mind was clear, she was free.

I'm... I'm free?! She slowly realised as emotions flooded her brain. I'm... free... I am free! I'M FREE!

Water escaped her misting eyes and rolled down her cheek. She was crying. Actually, physically crying.

She'd never felt so happy!

To Be Continued...

Authors notes: Strap in, this is going to be a weird one. ;)

I know some people would say I should've used Bessie as the Doctors car. But there is a good reason why I can't. So I used the purple beetle that has featured in both the 8th Doctor books and audio stories.

From what I've read in some comics Raven's secret name for herself is Rachel Roth. Why? I don't know. What was wrong with 'Raven' exactly? But *shrugs* it works here. :P