Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. The following is a fan-written fiction. Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Kim Possible, and Big Bad Beetleborgs are property of their respective owners, creators, and publishers. Please support the official releases.

TW: This story will contain references to physical and psychological abuse, murder, and torture.

|Cutting Edge|

After taking Star Butterfly's spirited interpretation of Starlight Breaker straight to his face, Vexor had retired to the large sarcophagus in the center of his crypt hideout, and there hadn't been a word or peep from him since. Typhus, who needed only a day and a lot of food to recover from the beating he received, was already back on his feet and in a bad mood.

Snake Head hadn't come back. Before Vexor locked himself away in his tomb, he muttered something about "The Zone Collapsing" but didn't elaborate before the lid on the sarcophagus shut and he was incommunicado. Typhus didn't need the explanation, with no Beetleborgs presented to him like a cat presenting a mouse he killed, it didn't take a genius to figure it out. The Beetleborgs somehow killed him or worse, he was lost when the zone collapsed.

Once more he was by himself, something he hated more than anything, and he was in no mood to do anything other than brood about it. "Man… this sucks."

He heard some tapping on the sarcophagus behind him. "What sucks? And where's Vexor? Is he in here?"

Typhus shot up to his feet and turned around to face Noxic, who looked good as he hovered over the sarcophagus, tapping on it. "Noxic, you're back!"

Noxic looked up from the coffin to his biological best buddy. "And cooler than ever! What the heck happened, did you and Vexor beat those Beetle bums or what?"

"No way, baby! Those kids were tougher than ever. That magic girl even blasted Vexor, he blocked her shot but he still got torn up!"

"What?!" Noxic recoiled, then looked back at the sarcophagus. He turned back to Typhus and sidled close to him. "Hey, does that mean he's, yannow, D-E-D?"

Typhus shrugged his stiff shoulders. "You're the one with the scouter."

"I was. The other morning there was this huge power surge, and it blew it out. I don't have it anymore!"

"Wait, was it the day before yesterday?"

"Yeah, early in the morning!"

"That was that magic girl, baby."

Noxic threw up his hands. "Geez Louise! Maybe Vexor is a goner."

He brought two fingers to his mechanical chin and stroked it. "Hey… you think human girls like gift-baskets or flowers? Eh, I'll just grab her a 'Thank You' card."

Typhus burst into laughter. "Oh man, I'm glad you're back! I was going out of my mind sitting around here, baby."

"Huh? What about Snake Head?"

Typhus' laughter stopped, and he bared his teeth. "I think he was beaten by the Beetleborgs; I don't know because Vexor won't tell me what happened with that… I can't remember, you know that weird place!"

"Well, RIP snakeyboi," Noxic said before Jara entered in a burst of flame.

"It's gone? Good riddance, that monster was disgusting," she said as she strode up to both of them.

Jara too looked good as new, the burns and scorches that covered her skin gone like she'd never experienced them, her uniform spotless and gleaming in the ambient candlelight of the crypt. She tilted her head as she looked down upon Typhus and Noxic. "Where is Vexor?"

"Hey, don't 'where's Vexor' me! Apologize for talking crap about Snake Head, he was a heck of a guy!" Typhus snapped at her.

Jara clicked her teeth and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry one of your creations got blown up, but you don't hear Noxic complaining when one of his gets destroyed."

Noxic shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, that's because most of my creations hate me. Typhus' guys? They love him, and why wouldn't they?"

He slapped Typhus on his back. "He's the coolest guy I know!"

After a week of recovery, Jara almost missed the headache her best friends gave her. "Enough about how great he is. What happened with Snake Head, and where's Vexor?"

"Oh, Vexor's dead," Noxic replied.

"We don't know that!" Typhus argued.

Jara palmed her mask. "You two…"

Typhus placed a clawed hand over Noxic's mouth. "Snake Head found the prey, and we went after 'im, right? Well, everything was going great, and Vexor even managed to send 'em to the G-Spot or whatever-"

Jara grabbed him by the lips of his upper mouth and leaned in to look him dead in his eyes, her laser whip blade held to his almost non-existent neck.

"Never. Call it that. Again."

Typhus nodded, and Jara let him go to continue. "Anyway, he sent him to that pocket dimension place he cooked up, and everything was going great until the magic girl showed up."

Jara nodded. "And then what happened?"

"Did you see a big flash of light the other morning?" Typhus asked.

Now that he mentioned it, a painfully bright light did wake her up from her alcohol and meat-fueled recovery process. She hated it with all of her life.

"… Yes…?"

"That was the magic girl blasting Vexor in the face."

Now she hated it even more.

As a red aura manifested around Jara's body, Noxic raised his hands in supplication. "Whoa, whoa, hey! Look on the bright side! The bright side!"

He pleaded. "Vexor's gone, so we can do whatever we want without his snooty Space Pope nose sticking into our business."

The sound of stone shifting behind them made them all stop. All three looked back at the sarcophagus, which had raised up just enough for them to see a single glowing inhuman yellow and black eye glaring out at them from the darkness.

"Rest assured, or do not, for I am very far from dead," Vexor informed them, before the sarcophagus closed.

Typhus leaned forward, hanging his head, Jara's shoulders slumped, and Noxic began beating himself atop his head with both fists. "Aw man, I just HAD to go and jinx it, didn't I?!"

"It's obvious that none of us can have nice things in this world," Jara lamented.

"Yeah, baby," Typhus agreed.

The sarcophagus cracked open again. "I'm sure the three of you can do something more productive with your time besides hoping for me to come out and beat you with this stone lid."

A Beetleborgs comic slid out of the sarcophagus and fell to Jara's feet. "Make use of this to defeat and capture them for me… and do not bother me again until I am fully healed."

The lid closed again.

Noxic and Typhus looked at each other.

"Forget that! Wanna go see how many tacos you can eat in one sitting?" Noxic asked.

Typhus clenched his fists and pumped them. "Heck yeah, baby! I heard there's a place that gives a prize if you eat fifty of 'em."

Noxic gave pause. "All at once?"

They both looked over at Jara, who had turned away from them and was reading the comic book. "Hey, you wanna grab some tacos?"

Jara ignored them. Her shoulders were hiked, and a dark menacing laugh rumbled from under her mask. The atmosphere darkened as she held up the comic, power cracking from it as it levitated from her hands. On the spot, both realized what was going on.

"Oh snap! She's summoning something!" Noxic said, jumping up and down. "Oh man! It might be one of her Mercenary guys!"

"Aw man, those guys are so cool, baby!" Typhus said as he got up.

Laughing, Jara brought her hand up to her mask, its yellow eyes glowing as power emanated from the comic.

"Hahaha… veteran of ten thousand battles, slayer of a hundred thousand warriors!" She said before she whipped her hand and struck a pose. "Awaken in this world, my master of blades… SABERIZER!"

Flames shot from the comic and splashed against the ceiling of the crypt. As Typhus and Noxic watched, the flames spread across it in a growing circle, before numerous blades–from simple daggers to long swords and even giant weapons meant for slaying horses, showered from the fire and crashed into the floor around her, Noxic and Typhus.

As the last blades fell and impacted the stone floor, a figure dropped from the ceiling. A male humanoid, clad in a black bodysuit and black and red boots. On his upper body and arms, over the bodysuit he wore silver armor painted with red lines. His bald, badly scarred face was covered half with a helmet that was secured with screws that were driven into his skull, and a long black scarf wrapped around his head several times, obscuring the lower half of his face.

The Mercenary Warrior Saberizer drew from his back a long, single bladed sword with a cross-shaped hilt from his back, a falchion, and knelt before Jara. "Sworn to serve the Red Capes, I Saberizer stand before you, General Jara!"

Noxic looked at Typhus. "Oh man, how come your summoning wasn't that cool?"

Typhus, indignant, agreed. "Yeah, Jara! What'd you do?"

Jara turned back to look at her friends. "Neither of you two have appreciation for the dramatic."

She turned back to face her summon. "On your feet, Saberizer. Today we are declaring war on this world, and you will be leading my army."

"As you command, General," he replied.

"An army?!" Noxic shouted. "Jara, what're you plannin'?!"

Typhus stepped forward towards her. "And how can we get in on it, baby?"

Saberizer gave a start at the sight of Noxic and Typhus. "The two of you…?!"

He turned to Jara. "General, what are you doing with the likes of these two dishonorable-"

Jara shot her hand up, silencing him. "Do not concern yourself. Those who were once my enemies are now my trusted comrades. Respect them as my equals."
Without another word of complaint, Saberizer nodded. "Understood, General."

Jara turned to face those two friends again. "Now, let's go out to those woods we recovered at the last time."

"Huh? Why not go to the house?" Noxic asked.

"Because during my recovery I attempted some recon of the house, but found there is a field preventing teleportation. Hence why we are doing this." She explained.

"An Anti-Teleport…!" Noxic trailed off, then shook his head. "Geez, where do they keep coming up with this stuff?!"

Typhus patted Noxic on the shoulder. "We're gonna find out today, baby."

Without complaint, Noxic and Typhus got up and all four Magnavores vanished, leaving behind Vexor, who'd been peeking out of the sarcophagus the moment Jara had summoned Saberizer. That she was up to something was not unusual, a warrior of her caliber was always plotting, always calculating. It was what Vexor liked most about her… and also what made him wary.

"What discoveries shall you reveal to me?" He asked as he began to summon a small scrying circle.

In the wilderness of the San Gabriel Mountains, among the scorched dead trees of the old burn, the Magnavores appeared, Jara walking out ahead of Noxic and Typhus with Saberizer right beside her. In her hands, she held the comic she summoned Saberizer from, as she turned to face her comrades. She held up the comic.

"While I was convalescing, I thought that in order to make use of myself while I was incapacitated besides my recon, I would at the very least summon my mercenaries into this world," she explained. "That is when I learned something unfortunate."

"Aw man, bad news?" Typhus asked.

"Bad, but not terrible," Jara reassured him. "I found that while Snake Head was active, I was unable to bring anything stronger than a Scab into the world."

Noxic stroked his chin. "Wait a minute, you're saying that we can only summon one guy at a time?!"

"That is correct, and I have found that I can at the very most summon only fifty Scabs at one time," she revealed.

"Fifty?!" Noxic asked. "That's still a heck of a lot, but not enough if we're taking over the world!"

"No it is not," Jara said. "But it is more than enough for defeating the Beetleborgs, and capturing not only that Butterfly…" She trailed off and seethed. "… But also claiming that strange house where you sensed that tremendous power. With them in our possession, taking over the world should not be difficult at all."

Typhus hummed. "So, you're sayin' that our limit's one big guy and fifty Scabs. Is there anything else that we might be able to get out of this?"

"I am glad you asked that, for I have a theory." She threw the comic at Typhus. "Summon as many Scabs as you can, put all your power into it. Then give the book to Noxic."

Typhus caught the book clumsily, and held it up. "All right, Scabs! C'mon out!"

At his command, fifty flames shot from the book, raining down around Jara and Saberizer to become twitching and shuddering Scabs armed and ready to fight. Seeing the Scabs, Saberizer clapped his gauntlet-encased hands together to rub them. "Interesting… I've slain many of these swarm machines and they were formidable. To have them serve beneath my command will be a great experience."

"Yeah, with how fast these guys go down? You won't be impressed," Noxic said.

That piqued Saberizer's interest. It was enhanced further when Jara spoke up. "The enemies we face are literal children in armor with abysmal fighting ability. They make up for it by having weapons that are absurd in power, and unarmored friends who are less incompetent. That is why as much as numbers we need speed and firepower to overwhelm them before they can improvise in battle."

Jara looked over at Noxic. "Turn to page seventeen of that book."

Noxic took the comic from Typhus and flipped through it. Stopping on the indicated page, he looked back and forth between it and Jara. "Wait… you want me to try summoning these?"

"As many as you can," Jara instructed.

With a shrug of his shoulders, Noxic threw the book to the ground. "If you say so, but these things are a little beefier than a basic Scab."

He threw his hands forward. "All right you mooks! Take off!"

Typhus, Jara, and Saberizer all watched as the comic sat there on the ground. A moment passed, and nothing happened.

Noxic repeated the gesture. "I said get goin'!"

Nothing happened.

Saberizer let out a hum and folded his arms.

Typhus turned to Jara. "Guess it's outta juice-"

A bright flash from the comic cut him off, as eight jets of flame shot to the sky, climbed, and kept climbing. The Magnavores followed the flames' skyward flight, spreading out into two formations of four that materialized into black and yellow craft with a strange shape.

With a wasp-like profile, their main fuselage trailed behind them ending in a large stinger-like appendage, while their wings–if they could be called those, were curved like a set of large golden horns. The craft bore under the wings each a pair of laser cannons, and had no visible cockpit. Despite their aerodynamically impossible shape, the craft had no problem cutting through the sky like actual fighter jets.

On the ground below, Jara threw her head back and laughed. "HAHAHAHAHA! YES! IT WORKED!"

She began dancing in celebration, shaking her hips with her hands raising the figurative roof. "Go Jara! Go Jara! Go Jara! Go Jara!"

Typhus and Noxic turned to each other and nodded. Saberizer on the other hand, looked about ready to break down weeping.

"General…" He spoke, his voice cracking. "… Have you truly found happiness again?"

Jara stopped dancing, and lowered her arms. "No, I have not."

She looked at him, then down at the ground. "I will not be happy, until I have laid that Butterfly girl at my feet and mounted the heads of those obnoxious armored brats as trophies!"

She clenched her hands into fists, that red aura manifesting again. "Now then, what are all of you going to do to help improve my mood?!"

Typhus was the first to answer. "What we do best, baby!"

Noxic clapped his hands and threw a fist into the air. "Go out into battle and wreck stuff!"

Saberizer drew his falchion and knelt down before Jara, driving the tip into the ground. "And in battle I shall defeat our enemies and restore your honor, General!"

Jara looked up and laughed. "That is what I like to hear!"

She grabbed her shoulder pauldrons and threw both it and her cape from her body, the heavy equipment crashing to the ground behind her and the gathered gang of monsters to create a dramatic explosion of dust and dirt.

"Magnavore Tribe! We begin our offensive now!"

Author's Tip: If your word processor has a text-to-speech/read aloud function. USE IT.