Authors notes: Hopefully I'm not 'Jumping the Shark' with whats about to happen in the Land of Fiction. :P

Chapter 37

Down the Rabbit Hole.

This world was insane. As Raven moved towards the castle she could see all kinds of weird creatures and characters all around the place. A grey humanoid rabbit talking to a black humanoid duck, the duck getting very angry while the rabbit stood coolly munching on a carrot. A party of four came out of the forest, two kids, a boy and a girl, a teenage woman with red hair and a green plaid shirt, a large man in a black top with a question mark on it. The two kids checked some kind of old book, they pointed and they disappeared into the other side of the trail.

"What the heck is this place?" Three girls zoomed past Raven, dressed in pink, blue and green, all with bulbous like heads, stump like limbs and they were flying leaving coloured trails behind them.

Why couldn't she move five steps without seeing something weird?

Raven decided to get away from all the craziness by flying into the air, above the tree tops towards the castle instead.

As she rose higher and higher she found something else odd. The trees were arranged very neatly, like planted crops. They all seemed to start in a line at one side at the same place, then they'd go so far, and terminate at random places.

As Raven went higher she realised there was something familiar about the structure of the forest. Usually she'd dismiss it, but the Doctor always told her that the answers sometimes lie in the mundane. So she went for a closer look at one of the trees.

From outside it looked rather ordinary, except its trunk was of a strange, twisted shape. As Raven pushed through the branches to get a look at its top she noticed the shape of this tree, from the top to the trunk it formed a curly line of some kind. An odd but probably irrelevant detail if it wasn't for the fact that the next tree before that was shaped differently, just a straight line, perfectly straight. The next one was even weirder. From the top it looked like it was shaped like a D, with a hollow space going straight through the centre of it.

Wait a minute! Those last two trees were also shaped like letters, an I and an S. She'd just been looking at them from the wrong angle. It would've been an amazing coincidence, but Raven doubted it was.

She floated back up above the trees and using her powers she cast the whole forest in dark energy so she could see the outlines of the tree trunks clearly. They were all shaped like letters and the forest was clearly a sentence structure of some kind.

"A bad workman always blames his tools."

"A drowning man will clutch at a straw."

"A fool and his money are soon parted."

"People prefer to be seen as right, than to be effective."

"Lets be open minded, but not so open minded our brains fall out."

"I have no idea, people who boast about their IQ are losers."

"People won't have time for you if you are always angry or complaining."

"We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet."

And it just went on and on.

Clearly these were all sayings, proverbs and quotes. Some she was sure she recognised. Words seemed to be everywhere. Which was understandable since words form the backbone of language and ideas, and therefore fiction.

Since this was the 'Land of Fiction' after all, the 'World of Words', a place where peoples beliefs manifested, if enough people believed them, that meant every popular book, TV show, Movie all had a presence here, as long as it had a big enough fan base to generate the image.

Shrugging she decided to make haste to the castle and find the Doctor. The sooner she found him, the sooner she could get out of here and back to reality.

Raven landed outside the castle, it was large, and grand. The outside was so clean and crisp it looked like it may have been a set in a kids movie.

The Land of Fiction. Figures.

She hid in the forest and observed the castle. If the Doctor was being held in there, then likely they weren't friendly people at all.

Reaching out with her mind she tried to sense where the Doctor was. This place actually felt strange, because nothing was truly real her mind had trouble seeing everything. It was as if it was all made of an intangible fog, you could see it, but it was like it broke up when you examined it too closely.

Everything was still too shrouded for her too see clearly through her powers. Perhaps the Doctor had been moved since the Impostor was last here.

That was a thought. Who was the Impostor? Was she a fiction? Raven found it hard to imagine anyone could truly be that irritating and contradictory in their own philosophy.

Wait, if this wasn't the real world would her powers actually work here? Experimentally Raven shrouded a boulder in her powers to make sure. The last thing she wanted was to be surprised like that again. The boulder lifted up and floated around. Yep, she could use her powers in this world.

From the guard positions around the top of the walls Raven could see wind up soldiers walking around the walls, swaying from side to side as they went. How good were their eye sight? She didn't know. She also didn't know what surprises she might find inside that castle if she tried to break in.

The front doors of the castle swung open and as she watched several wooden wind up soldiers marched out of the castle, all carrying flaming torches and they descended back down the trail. Were they looking for her?

Raven cast a cloak of perception over herself and began walking up to the door, intent on passing straight through it, into the lions den. But as she approached she found the doors were swinging open for her.

She stopped and waited. Something must be about to come out. Or go in. She looked behind her. No, it was just her here.

"Oi, get a move on before I shut the portcullis!" shouted a man, was he talking to her? "Yeah, you. The hooded girl. Hurry up, this things heavy!"

She could be seen? She guessed not all her spells were going to work properly here.

She shrugged, since she'd been invited she might as well walk right in. She still had her telepathic powers so she should be able to defend herself. The man who shouted dropped the portcullis aftre she passed under it.

The inner castle courtyard was quite large. The ground was paved, and carpeted. There were trees lining the castle inner walls, all arranged so neatly, so neatly in fact that each tree looked exactly the same, down to how the branches split from each other.

Wind up toy soldiers were just marching around in formation. They totally ignored her entirely. Looking around she tried to find the man who lowered the portcullis, but he was gone. With few options Raven approached the central keep of the castle, and ascended a great many stairs up to the doors. They parted as she approached and she stepped inside.

"Hel...Hello?" She called out into the large, empty space. It was lavishly decorated in purples and greens which actually made Raven feel sick to look at them.

"Ah, miss. May I take your cloak?" said an alien gentleman behind her, who grabbed her cloak to lift it off her. But she grabbed her cloak and pulled it back down.

"You have two seconds to get off me!" She warned and he let her cloak go. "I want to see someone in charge!"

"Very good, miss." He sounded like a butler, had a long, prominent nose with a bushy white moustache, and he was dressed and held himself like a perfect butler. His skin was also green. "This way." and he began leading her deeper into the castle. They came up to a wall which had several doors set into it, going from one side of the room to the other.

"Ah, now..." The butler said, "Which species are you?"

That was the second person to ask that.

"Why does it matter?" Raven asked shrugging.

"You can only pass through the door that corresponds to your species." the Butler explained.

"Why, where do they go?"

"Oh, the same place, the dining area" The Butler said as if this was obvious.

"Then, what's the point?" Raven shrugged. The Butler rolled his eyes.

"My dear, it is to keep individual species safe. It makes the species as a whole feel safer if they have their own door to use when going to dinner, a door no other species is allowed to use. It's in a scientific study, look it up!" This was the Land of Fiction so Raven doubted it was actually true. This was the kind of nonsense you'd find in one of the classical novels like the Alice Compendium, or the works of Lewis Carol.

Raven thought and wondered if she should reveal what species she truly was. The Impostor had held a great dislike for some species, despite preaching about peace and tolerance - another contradiction, the Impostor really was a fiction.

"I'm a..." she thought quickly. "Which species correspond to which door?" And the butler listed off a handful of species who were allowed to go through each door. But they were also additional qualifiers, such as beliefs, political leanings, religion and so on. If you had the wrong ones you were not allowed in at all. This was really a headache, all she wanted to do was see someone in charge. She chose whatever answers would get her through the door to see what was beyond. As for species, she picked one the butler said that she recognised! "I'm a Galirial." Raven said. That was a stupid one to say, Raven thought, I don't look a thing like one.

The Butler raised his eyebrow and looked her up and down. Then he shrugged and pointed to a door close to the centre of the wall. "That one miss." and the door swung open. Raven walked towards it, paused and then turned back to the Butler.

"You do realise I don't look like a Galirial. Right?" Raven asked.

"My dear, claiming it is enough to make it true." and he turned and walked away back to whatever duties he preformed.

"This place is going to rot my brain." Raven thought and she walked over the threshold of the door and into a magnificent, large banquet hall. Again, decorated in purples and greens.

Here there were people sitting around a large, round table. The creatures were all different kinds of species. They all appeared to be in active discussion with each other, all of which came to a stop when Raven entered the room.

"Uhh... hi." She gave a little wave. "I'm looking for..."

"Dash it, another Galirial." Said a short, imp like alien. Wait, he thought she was a Galirial? She didn't tell him she was Gallirial? She didn't look like a Gallirial? What the hell?

"Indeed," said a tall, long necked alien with an elephants trunk on her face, "The Galirial now have three people within this room."

"Yes, we all demand we send for one other of our species at this banquet."

"Hear, hear."

"He's right you know."

"We must all be equal after all!"

Raven just stared at this exchange, what the heck?

"Uhh... I'll just leave if that makes things simpler." Raven said taking a step back.

"Nonsense, nonsense." A large man at the head of the table said. He had three eyes, purple skin and wore a crown on his head. Clearly he was the king and he was a Galirial. "We don't like to make people feel unwelcome, especially a poor, fellow Galirial!" He couldn't tell she wasn't of his own species? Then Raven was practically dragged to the table and made to sit down. Food was piled up in front of her despite her refusing, she wasn't hungry.

"Oh, come now, you must be famished. You're as skinny as a rake." Raven looked down at herself, she wasn't that bad!

"We must get you out of those dreadful rags too." Another said, "Far too 'revealing'. You must represent your species at all times after all. It is the law."

"What?" But Raven was never given any chance to protest as everyone seemed to talk over her as if she didn't really matter. They apparently wanted her there, but didn't want to listen to her when she wanted to speak.

Shrugging she decided to just listen to the conversations going on around her.

"Oh, you know those rotten Aaalya's, they said we're not allowed to take part in the psychic Olympics because we don't have psychic powers. Pah, they should not be allowed to use their psychic powers in the psychic Olympics then, if its going to exclude certain species of a psychic disadvantage."

What the hell?

"Luxury, my friend! I can top that. I was told I had a bogey dangling from my nose while I gave a speech. Oh, I could've died with embarrassment, why did he have to point it out to me? I'd prefer to be ignorant. Oh, I feel so violated!"

"Oh I could dream of that!" said another, "I was told my cybernetic enhancements meant I couldn't join the triathlon because they constituted an 'unfair advantage over the others' and suggested I join the Cyborg Triathlon instead. Scandalous, absolutely scandalous! They're just scared I'd win and prove how better I am. Oh, the oppression my species gets!"

As Raven listened to more and more, the faster and faster this place started to sound like a support group for all these people, and all of their complaints were just nonsense, and each was said as if to try to one up each other on who had it the worst. Raven didn't call out their nonsense. She knew how angry people got when you doused them with reality, and as fictional characters reality probably didn't mean anything to them.

Raven held her head, as more complaints were thrown around the table. Didn't they talk about anything else? She could feel her brain start to rot.

As an experiment she tried to steer the conversation and push herself into it. They were just fictions after all, she had no reason to feel embarrassed.

"Yes, whatever you say my dear. Anyway..." they were very dismissive. "Oh, you know the King of the Fairies? He is so rude, always talking over everyone. Oh, such a typical man! I swear he just wants that queen to be window dressing for him."

Pot calling the kettle black. Raven thought. What fiction did these people come from? She guessed it might not be a human fiction since they were all aliens.

"Oh, its called the Dozen Shanpils!" Star Fire cried joyfully, clutching her hands together. "A comedy of contradictions and delightful nonsense, from the delta sector of the Galaxy!"

"A comedy? If you say so..." Raven said, shrugging. Humour was subjective after all. "They seemed deadly serious to me. Very deadly serious."

Beast Boy made a face that betrayed what he was thinking. That Raven always took things too seriously and didn't understand 'comedy'. Raven decided to ignore the jab. It was his mind, he could think what he liked.

This Dozen Shanpils thing wasn't very funny to her, because whoever thought of this as funny had a very cruel sense of humour.

Raven was fast losing patience with these people. They wouldn't let her leave, wouldn't let her speak and now they were talking about how she should dress. But the headache was that the alien woman who told her this said not five minutes ago that she hated when people told her where to go, what to do and how to dress and yet she was doing it to Raven. What a hypocrite!

Raven tried to tell her she wore these clothes of her own free will, but they patronisingly didn't believe her, thinking someone else had forced the cloak and leotard on her. Instead they insisted she wear something that, "better represents your species when you walk around outside." said one of the other aliens.

Raven wouldn't have minded, the Doctor asked her to get changed into more suitable clothes when they landed in different places where her attire might attract the wrong kind of attention, but with the Doctor she always had a choice, she could choose not to get changed. With these people they were practically planning how they were going to dress her, and dared to think she had any autonomy within their numbers.

If anyone comes anywhere near me with anything like what you're wearing, I'll stick those buttons so far down their throat they'll be passing plastic for a week! Raven thought darkly.

When she refused to wear what they said she should they suddenly changed gears. "My dear, you don't know what you're talking about. Do you know how many Galirial are forced to dress in ways they do not wish to. You're supporting a stereotype, and we can't have that. Surely you don't want to support that either?" Pot calling the kettle black again! What's wrong with these people?!

"Bite me!" Raven said sharply.

"Oh, such an insolent little girl!" Sticks and stones again. Raven was a monster after all.

Suddenly a door swung open sharply with a loud clang and marching through it was a lone person. The Impostor, round, dishevelled and very angry.

"Ah, Doctor. Glad to see you have returned, I..." the King started but the Impostor cut them off.

"She!" The Impostor pointed at Raven, "Is not Galirial! She's an Impostor!" More pot calling the kettle black, Raven didn't like her impersonating the Doctor, and she didn't like Raven impersonating her species. As far as Raven was concerned this should make them even. "She's a pretender! Do you know what she is? I've just found out!" She paused as if for dramatic effect, then the Impostor began snarling at her. "She is a filthy, arrogant, evil, advantaged, oppressing, human being!"

A loud smash came as some dropped their drinks glasses to the floor. Raven suddenly felt very uncomfortable when the entire table, as one, turned their heads to look at her, utter dislike in their eyes. She didn't understand why being a human meant she should be looked at differently.

"You're an oppressor!" said the aliens next to her.

"We thought you were one of us!" Another said disappointed.

"And I wanted to dress her in finery too!" another moaned.

"Get this creature out of here and throw her into the dungeons where her kind belongs." The King bellowed. Raven got out of her seat and started backing away.

"Okay, I'm not a Galirial... but I am half demon!" Raven said quickly, hoping it'd throw a spanner in the works. It actually did, they all hesitated and looked at each other.

"What's a demon? Where are they in the pyramid chart?"

"Are they higher than the Gallirial? Lower than the Humans?"

"Do hybrids deserve anything from society if they're only half an 'oppressor'?"

"She's making it all up!" The Impostor shouted over all of them. "There are no such things as demons! She's a full blooded human, and an evil Dalek! Take her to the dungeons!"

"Demons don't exist? Isn't that 'Unpersoning' me?" Raven challenged, her brain whirling, trying to use the worlds own logic against itself. But doing that just seemed to make the Impostor, and the party more angry.

"The rules exist to protect us from horrid creatures like you!" Another alien cried, "How dare you try to use them to defend yourself!"

"Oh, I feel so violated, being in the presence of a human, sitting with us, so close to us, and... and... arguing with us! I need my place of peace and tranquillity."

"Don't damage her head" The Impostor shouted, "She has my TARDIS inside that head of hers. If we damage it, I'll never get it back, and who'd take the Doctor seriously without the TARDIS?"

The way they looked at her gave Raven flashes of some of the Monks of Azarath. The way they'd look at her, just for being born as the daughter of Trigon. Wrong father, wrong heritage. Now apparently wrong species, and wrong history, according to these aliens.

Wait... Could she hear police sirens from somewhere outside?

The floor suddenly rocked as an explosion rang out from somewhere close by.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! SOUND THE ALARM!" Came a shout from someone not in the room. Then suddenly...

CRASH!

Something punched its way through the wall as if it was made of paper. A jazzy kind of chase music started up and sounded like it was being pumped into Ravens ears from nowhere. A big, roaring something on four wheels started to emerge as the debris fell away and Raven could see it was a car. A big, boxy two toned, black and white car with a faded golden star on the side.

The car hadn't lost any momentum in the crash, not had it taken any damage as it sped towards them. It honked its horn and Raven leapt back, and the people at the table scattered as the car smashed into the table, food drink and cutlery going everywhere, and the car began to do a do'nut over the remains of it. The car looked like it might once have been a police car, without the bar lights and sirens.

Speaking of Police cars, two white police cars with the numbers 10 and 70 on the back came through the hole in the wall with flashing red lights, their sirens blaring clearly chasing this black and white vehicle.

What the hell was this?

The black car stopped and revved its engine. There were two people sat inside. One short and fat, the other taller and lankier. Both had serious expressions on their faces and they wore black suits with ties, small black hats on, and shades.

"Wow, this place is fancy!" said the short one.

"Yeah, lots of space too." said the taller one, both spoke in a voice Raven knew was a Chicago sounding accent. Though the taller ones voice sounded more playfully exaggerated.

"You think this distraction will make up for our crappy sequel?"

"Maybe." the tall one shrugged.

The car took off again chasing a band of those arrogant aliens as they retreated up a set of wide stairs and onto a balcony. The black car effortlessly following. The two police cars in turn chasing after them. The aliens all dived over the side of the balcony and dangled from the railing as the black car sped past, crashing into as many things as possible, yet the car survived everything while what it crashed into crumbled to bits. It was as if its mission was to cause as much damage as possible.

It crashed through another wall, leaving a car shaped hole, the police cars chasing after it and the music faded with them. Leaving behind utter devastation to the party as the aliens all picked themselves up.

"Scandalous! They weren't even wearing seat belts!" One alien cried, "What message is that sending to the children?!"

"Where are 'they' from?" The Impostor shouted, "Find the book, video, whatever. I want it crushed! They were humans weren't they?! Typical human prejudice!"

With the Impostor distracted Raven decided to make herself scarce and vanish through the floor with her powers.

"Where did that frickin' human go!" she heard the Impostor whine.

"Hey!" Beast Boy interrupted again, "Weren't they the..."

"Beast Boy!"

"Okay, Sorry."

Descending the levels of the castle Raven could actually sense the presence of the Doctor somewhere beneath.

There was certainly some kind of an attack going on because soldiers, real ones were running this way and that as she passed from floor to floor like a ghost.

Now on the same level as the Doctor, Raven began walking towards a large locked door of the castle dungeon. There were dozens, upon dozens of locks on the door piled one on top of the other almost in a cartoony fashion. It'd be a bit inconvenient if the door needed to be open in a hurry.

Two guards in front of the door dressed in a red uniforms spotted her and held up their rifles, but Raven kept advancing and eyes glowing she passed straight through them like a ghost and through the door behind them. She could sense their confusion, and panic as they tried to unlock every single one of those locks to get in.

What was so secret in this place that it needed so many locks to keep people out? Raven assumed it was just the Doctor, they thought him that dangerous. But no, there was more down here.

As she entered the large room she found the castle cells were full of creatures. Creatures who approached the bars of the cells and begged to be released. Each one was almost packed full of creatures and each cell seemed to be dedicated to a specific species of alien. One cell contained only green aliens with four arms, another contained red, humanoid, crab like creatures with claws for hands and sails on their heads; another contained orange people with red hair and green eyes...

"Yes Star Fire, I now know those were Tamaranians." Raven said when Star Fire looked like she was going to interrupt.

Oddly another cell actually contained exclusively Gallirials. Why would the king lock up his own species down here?

The final cell contained exclusively humans. All the people and aliens within those cells were wearing individual costumes, clearly they were fictional characters of some kind from different cultures and civilisations.

Naturally the human ones were the ones Raven recognised the most, but not all of them. A girl with very, very long, blond hair which coiled in piles on the floor; two characters, one fat one thin, who wore dark clothes with bowler hats on. The fat one had a silly looking moustache; a girl in a red hood; a pirate with long dreads and a very eccentric way of walking holding a rum bottle; some kind of muscly man in a strange white jumpsuit and dark cowl who spoke in a German accent. There were others but none were the Doctor.

From the ceiling there dangled three bird cages. A small, thumb sized man was in one, a living gingerbread man in another, and a small woman with glowing wings, a fairy? Tom Thumb, the Gingerbread man, and... maybe Tinkerbell?

Raven rubbed her temples. It was a real headache thinking of these fictions as real things.

The Doctor was dead ahead, she could sense it!

Quickly Raven walked forward and found herself standing next to a row of shelves which stood in the middle of the room. But according to Raven senses the Doctor should be here. In fact, she could sense several 'real' people in this one area. But that couldn't be true.

The shelves had small boxes covered in dust as if they had been left here abandoned and forgotten.

Raven picked up one box. It was a full life jigsaw of some alien she'd never heard of, yet the box felt as if it was so full of life! The next was a box containing a game called 'Guess Who?' and she could sense dozens of life forces existing within the box. Opening it she just found a simple board game of tiles. Setting that down she found a wooden box, the cover was jungle themed. She could sense four life forces within this one, and the print on the surface identified the game as something called 'Jumanji'. She gently placed that one down, it felt evil.

Then she could sense the Doctor, and she picked up a box with the Doctors face on it. A many somethings shuffled around from within the box. Ravens face dropped as the reality of this absurdity hit her. The box said. Jig saw, puzzle, 978 pieces, ages 3+.

"Doctor...?" Raven was speechless as she rested her hands on the box. She could sense it. This was the Doctor. Somehow he'd been turned into a jigsaw of nearly a thousand pieces. Her fingers curled up. Though not expressing it she felt anger in her stomach. "Who did this to you?"

She sensed the explosion just before it happened, and Raven wrenched the box off the shelf and held it close to her as she took cover.

The wall fell in at one side as a figure stepped through the hole. He pointed forward with a sword. He was a pirate of some kind with a long coat and a big hat with a feather in it.

"Come on, come on. Hurry, we haven't much time!" He said in a rich sounding and commanding voice, and from around him several small boys were making work of the cell doors to release the prisoners.

The pirate stepped in entirely and from behind him also came... more insanity. Dinosaurs! Two meter tall, slender, sharp teethed Dinosaurs with long tails to balance their bodies, long claws, and their feet had a curved claw on each foot.

"Poor form there, poor form!" The pirate said, moving a child away from a pad lock the child was having trouble opening. The Pirate raised his left hand and Raven could see in place of it was a long, sharp hook!

He brought it down on the padlock and busted it instantly. He wrenched open the door and ordered everyone out.

"Come on, move out! There is a war on you know!" and everyone in the cells obeyed, the small boys attempted to organise everyone to move out. As the dinosaurs seemed to stand guard.

The hook handed pirate then turned to Raven.

"Ah, Creators!" He bowed, "Madam, Captain James Hook, at your service. I see your friend has gotten himself in a bit of a pickle."

"I..." Raven mouthed, she was slack jawed and too mind blown to speak. Wait, wasn't Captain Hook a bad guy? Why was he working with what -she presumed- were the Lost Boys of Never-Never Land?! And why was he leading a pack of two meter tall Dinosaurs?

Am I sure I didn't hit my head? She asked herself.

"Come now, explanations later, my dear!" The Captain said. He turned towards the other pirate, the one with dreads holding a rum bottle. "You! Not a word! I know your reputation. I'm in charge!"

"If you say so..." said the pirate swaying on his feet.

As the captain tried to lead Raven out through the hole the dungeon door burst open and several other characters bounded down the stairs. These were all of an alien fiction Raven didn't know about.

Captain Hook drew his sword and he tossed a spare to the swaying pirate. The Dinosaurs also took up positions ready to fight.

"Hows your foot work?" Captain Hook said to the swaying pirate.

"Fit as a fiddle!" The rum pirate wobbled and sounded blind drunk. He hic-upped.

"Beggars can't be choosers..." Captain Hook sighed and they began fighting the aliens, the Dinosaurs rushing forward, snarling claws bared. "Get the Creators out of here, the Mistress must not get her hands on them!"

Raven never got to see the action. She was so confused by what was going on she didn't realise the Lost Boys were pulling her out the hole in the wall, she still clutched the Doctors puzzle box to her, and she was pulled back outside into the open to a setting sun and a scene that was so full of action and noise Raven was stunned by the sight of it.

Characters were fighting other characters. Screams, shouts and explosions rocked the land, and the forest of words in the distance was burning.

Captain Hook had said there was a war on!

Was the Land of Fiction at war with itself?!

To Be Continued...

Authors notes: Captain Hook, leading the Lost Boys and a pack of Velociraptors on an attack on an alien castle. Only in the Land of Fiction could that make sense. :P

I realise a lot of plot conveniences are going on at the minute. But it is the Land of Fiction after all.

I've just realised that the Teen Titans usually end up in similar kinds of places of utter lunacy before. So I'm also being honest to some of the Teen Titans series episodes with this madness. XD

As I'm writing and expanding this, I realise its probably going to be the longest one yet. So I guess it'd be a 2 part story :P

The Dozen Shanpils are loosely based on the type of lunacy you'd hear in Monty Python Sketches, the whinings of the Four Yorkshire men and the type of nonsense you'd hear from the Alice Compendium, just with aliens in place of them. There must be some alien fictions in the Land of Fiction. ;)

In the Mind Robber, Jamie McCrimmon was turned into a kind of face puzzle, one which the Doctor unfortunately got wrong at first. :P In this case the Doctor is turned into a jig-saw puzzle and locked away.

Again, time to play spot the reference. :P