Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. The following is a fan-written fiction. Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Kim Possible, and Big Bad Beetleborgs are property of their respective owners, creators, and publishers. Please support the official releases.

TW: This story will contain references to physical and psychological abuse, murder, and torture.

|Advocacy for the Devil|

Jara, on her hands and knees and almost all her exposed skin wrapped in gauze and bandages, stared at the crypt's floor and the base of the sarcophagus that Vexor still remained within. Behind her, on her right, Typhus finished healing from his wounds. On her left, Noxic lay in a disjointed heap, sparks popping off his damaged body. Directly behind her, at the far end of the Saberizer sat in the lotus position, with his sheathed falchion across his lap–he was meditating on the battle fought.

She wished she could meditate, if to be anywhere but near Vexor's suffocating presence emanating from his temporary tomb.

"For what it's worth… I am not angry." Vexor spoke through the gap created by the ajar lid. "Just very disappointed."

"Absolutely nothin'," Noxic said. "That's exactly how much it's worth."

"I could be angry."

"And that's worth less than nothin'." Noxic said.

Typhus bit back his snicker. Jara's shoulders shook, and she praised her mask for hiding her clenched expression as she held in her own laughter. It hurt to laugh, and it'd hurt even more to laugh at Vexor now.

"This was to be your grand show of force Jara, and yet this was our most debilitating setback to date." Vexor's words cut into her even as they conveniently ignored the circumstances that laid him up such as he was. "What have we learned from this?"

Jara raised her head. "Attacking the house is no longer viable. It is too well defended, and its counter to teleportation makes any withdrawal difficult under the best of circumstances."

She looked back down, "The Beetleborgs are also stronger than we have encountered, having abilities that they use to patch up their lack of combat experience."

She let out a seething hiss. "And the Butterfly is still aggravating with her magic."

A long, contemplative hum rang from the tomb. "The Butterfly, the young man she appears close to, and those other children besides the Beetleborgs… on them from now on. The house can wait until its defenders are out of the picture."

Jara nodded. "I was thinking the same thing actually."

"There is more to this world than just that house, go out and see it–surely there awaits wisdom that could bring victory." A clawed hand rose to curl around the edge of the heavy stone lid. "I leave that to you."

With that he pulled the lid shut, only to catch his fingers with it.

"Ow."

A thump followed as he freed them and let the sarcophagus fall closed.

Noxic's broken neck managed to roll his head to look at Jara as she rose to her feet. "Does this mean Vexor's lettin' us do what we want?"

"Do you want to interpret it that way?"

"Yes."

"Then do what you want, as long as it goes toward defeating those insect children."

"You betcha Jara. I'll do it for you, because I respect you, and Typhus, and even you Saberizer."

Vexor's muffled voice came from inside the sarcophagus. "When I am back on my feet Noxic, I will be removing your head from your neck and installing it up your exhaust port."

"Jokes on you, I don't have an exhaust port! High-efficiency, baby!"

"I will take the time to craft you one and it will be exceedingly superfluous."

Typhus got up and watched the last of his wounds disappear. "When we find out where those kids hang out, we can bring the fight straight to 'em, baby!"

"You can do that, I gotta get a workshop going or else I'm gonna end up bein' more patchwork than working, know what I mean?" Noxic complained.

Jara agreed. "It is for the best. Typhus and I can handle finding the brats."

Saberizer took his sheathed blade in hand and stood. "General, if I may speak freely?"

The Mercenary General turned to face her subordinate, bracing herself for what he had to say. She didn't forget his comment from before. "Da, go ahead."

"Fighting all of them at once doesn't work, even with large numbers of Scabs at our disposal," he said, "So, allow me to seek out and engage enemy elements as the hunter, so that you may fall upon them as the killer."

Jara could see something burning inside Saberizer, she heard it in his voice. A slight tremble–not of fear but anticipation. "Eager to seek them out?"

He held up his Falchion and slowly unsheathed it, revealing a nick in the blade where the Stinger Blade cut into it to disarm him. "As much to avenge your honor after our defeat, I must satisfy my curiosity."

He sheathed the blade with a click that echoed in the crypt. "Grant me this request, General, and I shall complete our mission without fail!"

Jara nodded. "We will be right behind you, Typhus and I, and as many Jet Fighters as we can muster to support you."

Saberizer knelt before Jara in salute. "You have my highest gratitude, General."

"Let me know how that works out for ya!" Noxic said.

Typhus gave the android a thumb's up. "I'll bring you back some scrap from the scrap, baby!"

"You're the coolest, Typhus. You and Jara, and you too Saberizer!" Noxic looked towards the sarcophagus, daring Vexor to say a thing.

When he didn't, he laughed. "And no one else."

The lid pushed up. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a retort."

"Too late, you already di-" Arcs of electricity surged from the gap left by the raised lid, sending Noxic's broken body into a thrashing fit.

Jara shook her head as Saberizer looked up at her. "Is that capable of even hurting Noxic?"

"Yes, but it won't kill him," she said. "Still… this is his victory."

Typhus grumbled. "It's about the only way to win against Vex…"

The lightning ceased and without a word from Vexor as promised, the casket closed.

Standing on the front porch of Hillhurst, Drew leaned against the railing with Roland. Both watched the sun sink towards the crest of the hills straddling the valley Hillhurst Mansion sat in. While his best friend admired the once more untouched scenery restored by Flabber's magic, Drew's gaze was cast down at his right hand as he opened and closed it.

He was replaying the moment over and over in his mind: Himself watching Marco swing himself around to kick Saberizer, while the Mercenary Warrior's blade rose towards his heart. He didn't even remember when he started moving, but he was–reaching Saberizer and swinging the Stinger Blade into the falchion to knock it out of his hand before he could stab Marco.

It's like my body just knew what to do. He thought.

And that was the problem he had. While he was glad that he saved Marco's life, and there was no argument that his move was a decisive one…

Not even one of my friends almost dying was enough to trigger my power. His expression darkened with his thoughts. Unless my power is my body turning off my stupid brain so that it can get things done. That would be fair for someone like me, right?

He hissed through his teeth; a faint snarl directed at himself.

Stop, damn it.

Roland heard his sharp breath and turned to him. "You good?"

"I'm good," he replied, looking nowhere but at his right hand.

There was a crash and shouting behind them, inside the house. Looking back through the window, they both found Jo lifting Frankenbeans over her head, fire in her eyes as she faced off against Mums. The Mummy was scrambling back from her towards the stairs, hands raised in capitulation.

"H-hey! Watch where you're wavin' that thing!" He pleaded.

Frankenbeans, flailing, cried out. "No pet! No pet!"

"You're darn right no pet, I'm not gonna be anybody's, especially a bunch of moldy weirdos like you!" She yelled before throwing Frankenbeans onto Mums, both monsters hit the stairs and tumbled up them from the sheer force of her throw before landing in a heap at the top of the steps.

Dusting her hands off, Jo let out a harsh and loud snort. "Who else wants some?!"

Fangula, who'd been intending to swoop in for a bite, presumably with some gauche line about wanting more than some, quietly closed the door to the hallway to avoid being seen. Ghoulum, who wanted to test Jo's strength but liked the house in a non-destroyed state, said nothing.

"That's what I thought," Jo snapped with her nose upturned.

"Attagirl!" Flabber, lying on the bannister with his head propped up on one hand, pointed at her with the other. "Like I keep saying! Show them who's boss and they won't bother ya!"

"If they don't know, now they know!" Jo flexed her right arm, showing off a modest bicep that belied her unfathomable strength. Looking out the window, and noticing her brother and Roland, she waved to Flabber–who gave her finger guns and a kachow in reply–and headed out onto the porch.

Roland, an eyebrow raised, had to ask. "What was that about?"

Drew looked away from Jo and back out at the hills as she replied. "I was exploring the kitchen, seeing if there was anything salvageable back there. Then Frankenbeanie spotted me and decided that he wanted to try making me his pet again! Hmph! I started teaching him a lesson when Mums jumped in and well… you saw."

Roland chuckled. "You'd think the old bean would know better."

She joined the two at the railing and settled against it between the two. "He ain't all there, but that's okay. If I got these guns, I don't even have to transform to punk those punks."

Drew clenched his hand into a fist, and his entire forearm trembled.

Out of the corner of her eye Jo noticed her brother's clenched fist, but just as quickly the end of Star's Dimensional Scissors opened a hole in the air and then opened a portal into reality. Both she and Roland lit up as the portal spread to full size and Mabel poked her head out.

"Da-daa-da-daa~!" She cheered. "The Dimensional Scissors have been whitelisted!"

Jumping out of the portal, Mabel stomped down on one foot and held her arms out, like she were a bird or a plane. "Now when we want to drop by, we don't have to drop by!"

Jo made a face at Mabel's wordplay.

Flabber leaned into view in the window, holding a tablet. "Sure you don't want me to buy an airbag just in case?"

"Don't worry about throwing any money down the chute, Flabber."

"I don't mind making the leap for you guys at all!"

Jo groaned. "Please stop."

Misao strutted out, bouncing with each step, before she gave Mabel a playful hip-check, making her bounce too. "It was nothing, the Beetle Battle Base's systems are like the back of my hand, ja? I can make it do whatever I want now."

"Except make the internet speed up," Janna said as she emerged with Star.

Misao shrugged her shoulders. "That is a hardware limitation, not software."

"Or squishware," Mabel said as she picked up Misao and cuddled her, making her giggle.

"Squishware has no limitations!" She declared as she raised her fists high

Janna poked Misao's chest from her right. "It's definitely optimized."

Misao giggled, and even more when she noticed Drew and Roland averting their eyes from her chest with all their might.

Dipper and Marco were the last through the portal, joining everyone as the aperture disappeared. The former turned to Flabber and nodded to him in greeting. "From here on out, expect at least one of us to be here so we can keep on the lookout for the Magnavores."

"Flab out! It'll be nice to have you over without the house getting blown up, or at least the guys will like it!"

"No, we still hate all of you!" Mums yelled from where he was still beheaped with Frankenbeans.

Flabber mouthed "He doesn't mean that" to the kids.

"Yeah we do!" Flabber flinched under Mums' yell.

"On that note," Janna then spoke up. "I'm not gonna be out here Saturday."

Jo brightened a bit. "Really? You're not?"

Drew and Roland both rolled their eyes. Janna knew just like them why Jo would be so excited to hear that.

"Yeah, I'm crashing the Homecoming Dance," she revealed.

Misao gasped. "Really?!" She slipped from Mabel's arms and bounded over to Janna. "Do you need a dress? I can get you one very quick, ja?"

Janna wagged a hand dismissively. "No need, I know exactly what I'm wearing and what I'm doing."

She put her arm over Star's shoulders and gestured to her. "Since Brittney banned Star, it's my duty to be there."

Marco did a double take; this was the first time he'd heard about it thanks to his preoccupation with Trip's nonsense. "Wait, Brittney banned you?!"

"Right?" Star asked. "She said it was for the stuff during the football game."

"We already got punished for that, though," Marco said, reiterating what many held as true.

"That's why I'm going no matter what she says."

Janna nodded. "With you all the way"

Dipper scowled. "Get a picture of the look on her face when she sees you're there."

Star beamed to Dipper. "Oh, you know I will!"

Jo looked aside innocently enough. "I mean, pissing Brittney off is cool and all, but do we need more enemies?"

Bait taken; Star turned to Jo. "What she's doing isn't fair!"

"And petty," Janna added. "I mean, it's not even going into what she said when she banned her."

Jo nodded. "Uh huh? And need I remind you that there's people trying to jump Dipper on the behalf of the Vanderhoffs–who are unfair and petty."

She stopped. "Oh, and rich, like Brittney is. Pissing her off sounds like it'd make our lives easier."

Misao, who'd been winding up to pitch her own argument about Brittney's attitude, stopped when Jo's point got there first, and hit in a frustratingly similar spot. Janna herself narrowed her eyes at Jo, then looked at Star who wasn't about to have it at all.

"I'm not going to let Brittney get in my face and flex on me, because she can't get over one mistake!" She argued.

Drew and Roland both turned around completely to face the confrontation, both not surprised that Jo was having a go at Star, but surprised that Jo was spitting if not facts, then good points.

"One? She has every right to be pissed at you for all the crap you've done," Jo said.

"If I recall, you talked smack about her entire squad, then you went and caused the disaster at the game." She hummed in mock-contemplation. "What else? Oh yeah, you crashed her birthday party when you weren't invited and rolled the bus."

"Technically I did-" Marco began to say, only for Dipper to put a hand on his shoulder and advise him not to with a shake of his head.

The color began to slip from Star's face, as Jo folded her arms and continued her barrage.

"The way I see it? This is strike two. You crash her dance, and anything happens, I mean anything that ruins it? She'll come after you just as bad as Trip and Van go after Dipper. But because she's not half as dumb as those two? It'll be bad, we'll all get caught up in it, and it'll make fighting the Magnavores even harder."

The silence that followed for a moment after–the result of Dipper, Misao, Marco, Drew, and Roland digesting her point of view–was broken when Janna retorted. "Counterpoint: Brittney is a bitch and needs to be knocked down as many pegs as the Vanderhoffs."

"Yeah!" Star and Misao both said.

"Besides," the latter added with a firmness to her voice. "If a rich girl thinks her money will help her? She is badly mistaken."

Jo huffed. "Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Idiots would keep opening new fronts we don't have to fight."

She gestured to Dipper. "We literally don't know when or if the next jerk who comes after Dipper will–and after the last guys tried to film themselves running him down and beating him, we don't know what they'll do."

Jo held out her arms. "Do we really want to throw more money onto that mess?"

Misao shut her mouth and looked down. Janna on the other hand, shrugged her shoulders and remained defiant. "I'm not afraid of anything Brittney can do to me, and I don't even have superpowers… yet. I'm going to the dance, so she knows that I go where I want, whether I'm wanted or not."

"And so am I," Star added.

Mabel had been quiet to this point, but finally she spoke. "Janna? I think you're right. You shouldn't let Brittney tell you where you belong."

"Exactly!" Janna said with Star in chorus.

"But Star…?"

Star stopped, and Jo looked at Mabel directly. She had the look of reluctant admission: her lips creased into a frown as she successfully wrestled with maintaining eye contact with the princess.

"You shouldn't go to the dance."

"Whoa…" Roland said quietly.

Misao almost looked like she'd been betrayed. "Mabel…"

Star was struck, full-on blindsided by Mabel. "… Huh?"

Dipper had caught her vibe when she pulled his proverbial lead earlier, so he knew what she was on. He looked back and forth between her and Star as she continued.

"It's not because we should be afraid of what Brittney might do… it's more…" She took a deep breath. "… Brittney's not wrong for kicking you out of the school stuff."

Star blinked, unable to process that. "Wh-what? She-but-she!"

Marco wasn't quite buying that either. "We already apologized and worked off what happened during Spirit Week!"

Now that she said it, Mabel reaffirmed her position with more confidence. "Yeah, that's the school though. Has anyone apologized to Brittney… for anything?"

Marco opened his mouth to reply, then stopped. "… Oh."

Star appeared to wilt on the spot, as Mabel's words struck deeper than Jo's spiteful assaults could only think to. Looking around, and realizing she was now the center of everyone's attention, Star slowly wound back up.

"… Then… I'll apologize to her!" She quickly said, to bounce back with as much force as she could.

Marco agreed, as Mabel brightened. "Couldn't hurt."

"Yep, I'll do it first thing tomorrow!"

Janna rolled her eyes, but Misao nodded in agreement. "That would be best."

Star was beaming again, as she pumped a fist. "Then Brittney will let me go to the dance! Problem solved and drama squashed!"

And just like that, Mabel's disappointment returned.

Janna thought differently. "Don't even apologize, all she'll do is throw it in your face."

Roland spoke up. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't try, and mean it."

"I swear I'll mean it!" Star insisted with a dismissive wave. "I'll apologize and I'll even give her a gift to show how sorry I am! What does Brittney like?"

Janna snorted. "Any sort of power and influence that makes up for her lack of personality."

"I can't get her that, but she'll get the next best thing!" Star declared.

"People to mock in public so she can validate herself?" Janna asked.

"It'll be even better than that!" Star promised as Misao joined Mabel's side.

Dipper glanced at his sister, she looked like she'd seen this all before, intimately so. He understood it perfectly, having seen what she'd seen himself, with almost the same familiarity.

"If you're gonna apologize, I'll back you up!" Mabel promised, almost despite herself.

It was as if she'd forgotten that she'd been cornered by Mabel, as Star received her validation. "Just you watch, Mabel! By the end of the weekend, Brittney and I will be BFFs!"

"Still saying," Janna said, "Don't even bother."

Jo hadn't expected the leader of the Teen Girl Squad to take her side, let alone bring up stuff that she hadn't even considered. She wasn't going to question it though, clocks were right twice a day, and that's all she needed to have her day made. "Well, if that's settled, how about we end our day and go home?"

She turned to Janna. "If you're still going to the dance."

"I have my principles," Janna assured her.

"Then it'll just be Marco, Dipper and I up here at the house."

Flabber pouted. "Aw, the guys love having Janna around."

"NO WE DON'T-" Mums stopped mid-yell. "Wait, Janna's not coming up Saturday?"

"Nah!" Flabber called back.

Mums was angrier than ever. "Can't have crap in Echo Creek!"

"Love you guys," Janna replied, her tone dry as the dead vineyard surrounding Hillhurst.

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, it'll be just the three of us, I guess."

As Jo tried to not give away her internal preening, Roland shook his head at Drew. Sharing his best friend's annoyance at Jo's antics, Drew joined Roland in the gesture and looked down at his hand again–though briefly.

He had a lot to think about, and he'd rather subject himself to his brain, than dump it on anyone else.

A/N: Jo didn't forget Star threatening to beat her face in.