Chapter 47

Oranges and Lemons...

"I'll come back, I promise..."

Raven swallowed.

Starfire and Beastboy both looked at her, waiting for her to continue her tale. But she had stalled. Remembering the Doctor making that promise just made her feel sad.

"Friend Raven." Starfire spoke up. "Are you okay?"

"Yes..." she said, "yes... I'm just thinking."

"Come on, Rae Rae. What happened next?!" Beastboy hurried. God, he could be so insensitive at times! But what annoyed her more was what he'd just called her. "OW, OW, OW, OW!" He screeched as Raven used her powers to pull Beastboys underwear into a wedgie.

"You..." she started pointedly "...do NOT... get to call me that."

"But the Doc..." she pulled it tighter "...okay, okay. Come on, Raven!" She held it for a little longer to show she was serious about it.

"Man, she can be such a bitch!" She felt his mind scream.

Learn to respect boundaries. She thought rather than spoke. Funnily enough this was something his counterpart in the story never understood either, and it would lead to a whole world of trouble. Maybe seeing his behaviour and the potential consequences described to him in an indirect manner might shake his head up a little.

"Okay..." She said, switching gears back to her story because she didn't want to watch Beastboy try to sort out his underwear. "...where was I?"

"You were asleep on the ship of pirates, and..."

"Thank you... Star!" Raven swallowed. She'd left out that part where she'd sleepily called the Doctor her 'Dad' and now she was remembering it again. She could feel her face start to blush so she quickly jumped back into the swing of the story before it showed.

Raven felt consciousness flood her mind again, but she was so warm and comfortable she really didn't want to get out of bed. She felt much more relaxed, and focused than she had before she went to sleep.

It felt like something stroked her mind. She shifted her neck to stretch a muscle. She enjoyed this. This is the same kind of soothing feeling she got when she meditated. It was like dipping dry, warm skin into cool water. That's what it felt like, but for her brain.

That's when she detected another mind hovering close to hers. Fearing she was in danger Raven was up and on her feet in an instant, avoiding hands that were hovering over her head.

Sitting next to her bed was Barriss Offee. "Good morning." She said giving her a mysterious smile.

"What were you doing?" Raven instantly bit at her.

"I was helping you rest." She said, "I was soothing your mind to help bring you back into balance."

"Back into balance?" Raven asked, lowering her hands.

"You haven't meditated for days properly. I could tell your mind was out of balance." The more Barriss talked, the more Raven didn't like what she was hearing.

"So you decided to play doctor with my mind?" Raven said in an accusing tone.

"I wanted to help you." Barriss said.

"I don't need your help." Raven said back, "I can do it myself."

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not. Just stay out of my mind!" Raven bit across her.

"I'm sorry." Barriss said sadly.

"What for?" Raven spat.

"Whatever I did."

Raven pulled her hood up sharply over her face then turned on her heel and she left the Captains quarters, using her powers to wrench open and close the doors after her.

Raven did notice there was an improvement in her mental faculties. Her brain was sharper, her emotions were more in check, and with a quick test of her powers she conjured a ball of darkness between her hands.

Yes, she was back to normal. Now all she needed was to figure out how to meditate more effectively, because she hated the idea of been in need of someone. She should be able to do everything herself.

Why was I upset at Barriss? She asked her own mind.

You feared she'd compromise your friendship with the Doctor. Her brain remembered.

He saw him through a window. His jacket was draped across a barrel on the deck and he was helping the crew pull on a rope leading to something in the air Raven could not see from inside the ship.

Looking at him she felt something... something in her heart. But she dismissed it.

Dad's going to hurt himself if he... A small voice in her mind started saying.

Dad? She questioned.

Who better? and she began to feel her face blush a little.

Stop day dreaming! It is nothing more than a fantasy. He will never be your true father.

Raven took a deep breath and accepted that. The Doctor was her friend and just that. She didn't need a father, she didn't need a father figure. Heck, she didn't even need the Doctor. She was totally self sufficient.

You liar. Her mind accused.

ENOUGH! She told her brain.

Stepping onto the deck she saw the Wizard of Oz, the Ed boy, Apu and several other characters seemingly trying to pull on ropes which were attached to the Wizard of Oz's hot air balloon.

"I am dubious as to whether this mad method shall work, Doctor." Captain Hook said from beside him. He wasn't helping, just strutting around like a proud peacock.

"That's what they said about Nicolous Tesla." The Doctor said.

"Was it now?" Captain Hook replied.

Raven stood next to the Doctor and was so quiet about it he was suddenly startled to see her.

"Ah, Rae Rae." Again with that dumb name. "Are you all better now after your nap? You've been out for three days."

"Three days?" She exclaimed. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Well, I tried to wake you at tea time, but you insisted on another 48 hours." He joked.

"You were positively Catatonic." said Alice joining them after replacing a bottle back into her pockets. "I've just hauled this Balloon over to the ship." She explained.

"And it's being brought on board because..." Raven trailed off for someone else to add an explanation.

"Because the Doctor has some poppycock idea to use it to turn the Black Pearl into a giant hot air balloon." Captain Hook scoffed.

"Technically, it'll be more a zeppelin when we're done with it." The Doctor smiled.

With the masts out of the way, bitten and ripped away by the giant turtle, the balloon sat in the middle of the deck with no obstacles.

"Right, now we secure it." The Doctor said as more guide ropes fell from the balloon. Some of the lost boys scurried over the side of the balloon trying to secure it to the hull of the ship.

Raven sighed, the Doctor had lost his mind. "Doctor, even I can tell that balloon won't fly the ship."

"Not under normal physical laws." The Doctor said, giving her a look which said 'I've found a loophole in the laws of physics allowing me to do something clever.' "But we're in the land of fiction, and we have in our presence a character for whom cartoon physics is the norm." He nodded at Ed.

"You're nuts." Raven said flatly.

"I can see you're back to your cheery self." The Doctor mocked.

"And you're still an irritating know-it-all." Raven fired back coolly. "I thought you were going to use that device you pulled from those White robots to teleport out of here?"

"Unfortunately, there is a flaw with that plan." The Doctor said nonchalantly.

"Which is?"

"They're broken." He shrugged, "I can probably get them to work but we'll need to find some spare parts. And because they're real, cartoon physics won't help us, unfortunately."

Looking at the Doctor Raven had a strange feeling in her mind. It was an emotion. Was it pride? She felt proud of her Dad... of the Doctor! She meant the Doctor!

You don't need a father. You don't need a father figure. She reminded herself, but then another voice spoke.

You might not need a father. But it doesn't stop you wanting one.

"Perhaps Raven." Alice spoke up interrupting her train of thought. "We should leave the boys to their projects, while we retreat and pursue more intellectual pursuits. Would you care for a game of chess?"

Raven didn't smile with her mouth, but she did a little with her eyes. "You're on."

"The key to chess is not to make the best move. But whatever move your opponent doesn't want you to make." Alice said as Raven opened with the Danish Gambit.

She was still learning the game but over time as she studied how it all works she was very slowly coming to understand the value of planning several steps ahead of your opponent, and to look for weaknesses in their defences that she could exploit to win the game.

Raven hadn't been that interested in chess to start with. But with no books to read; or at least none which were real. Raven had instead shifted gears and turned her mind to this game.

The books on the ship were all fictional, and when she opened them they pretty much contained nothing but scrawls. Makes sense, she guessed, unless the authors of the stories these books came from fleshed out the fictional books there would be nothing in them. She did find a book on chess. But upon reading it, it only contained stuff she already knew about from playing with Alice. The more she learnt, the more this fictional book filled with new stuff.

She guessed this symbolised how reading is more a reflection of whats in your own mind rather than exactly what the author wanted.

Back to the game Raven wanted to try a gambit and sacrifice as much 'material' as possible in the hopes of developing her more powerful pieces. Unfortunately Alice was much more familiar with this game and knew exactly what Raven intended to do.

Alice gobbled up the material but did so by bringing her more powerful pieces into play, and it now became a duel for who could control the centre.

"There is some tension between you and Barriss." Alice stated.

"It's nothing." Raven said, trying to silence the conversation.

"Nobody blames you for what happened. In fact, you saved all of us." Alice said, trying to be friendly.

"I... I just didn't want to feel useless. That's all." Raven stated.

"Oh, I quite understand. There is nothing worse than feeling like your story is done." Alice moved her knight and threatened Ravens queen. "That there is nothing else to do."

Feeling protective of her queen Raven moved it, and Alice took advantage to move her bishop to check her king.

Shit! But there was an easy way to block it using her pawn, which was protected by her rook. So it depended on whether Alice was willing to risk her bishop for a useless check. Of course, she didn't. What's your game, what are you trying to make me do?

"Barriss means you no harm. She has evolved to what she was like before."

"Before?" Raven questioned, her ears now pricked up.

"Oh... did she not tell you? Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it." Alice said brushing her hair with her hand, and then she took a sip of her tea cup.

"Please, tell me?" Raven asked, thirsty for dirt.

"Well," Alice giggled in a cheeky way as if spilling secrets was a thrill to her.

Note to self, never tell secrets to her.

"Well," She began again, "From what I heard, she is like Captain Hook. A bad guy. She was a minor good character in her story, but became an infamous player in it." Alice lowered her voice and invited Raven to come closer. "In the story there is a war. She protested against it but her Masters wouldn't listen. So being frustrated, she decided to set a bomb off in her Jedi temple. Killing off dozens of characters."

Raven felt herself go cold to hear that but kept her face level.

"But that was not the worst part. Oh no. She'd planned ahead. As the story went on and the investigation progressed she attempted to frame her best friend for the action." Raven felt her tongue roll in her mouth. "She nearly got away with it. But she was found out at the last minute before her friend was sentenced to execution."

So sweet little Barriss Offee who looked so innocent, nice and gentle was in reality a murderous traitor of a witch!

"Oh, but don't let that colour her." Alice said, "Captain Hook is a crazed maniac after all. We helped each other evolve." She coughed. "Barriss was still a good person deep down, and the lead up to her betrayal was not well established in her cannon. Her fans didn't believe she could become so evil without any build up and hoped she'd return to the light, and of course that potential made it possible for her to do so."

Raven wasn't listening to that last part. She suddenly realised why she had a dislike for Barriss. Okay, she didn't want the space monk stealing 'her stuff', but she had seemed too perfect to be true even for someone developing beyond their cannon. There had to be something about her under that image, and now she had it. Barriss once became evil, she killed and murdered because she disagreed with a war.

What if she did the same again with this war?

I'm going to keep a close eye on Barriss from now on. She decided. I'm not going to let her harm my Da... My Frie... my... my stuff.

"Check mate." Alice said.

"Huh?" Raven was snapped from her thought process. "Crap!" Alice had set up a bluff and Raven had fallen for it. While her attention was on breaking through the defences around Alices king, Alice had swooped in and with her queen and bishop had successfully check-mated her king. She looked around for anyway to worm out of it. But it wasn't there. She had lost.

Sighing Raven pinched the top of her king and forced it to topple over in defeat.

For a few hours Raven was aware of loud noises coming from below deck. It sounded like screeching and bellowing and cries of some wild animal.

"What the heck is that?" Raven asked.

"Oh, it's that dreadful woman you found. We locked her away in the brig." Alice said, "She's behaving like an adolescent."

Raven opened the door which led down to the brig and she heard the Impostors voice fly up it. "I'm starving, you can't treat me like this! As a prisoner I deserve better food than this slop you're giving me."

"It's the same stuff we eat, miss." Said the gruff voice of one of the pirates.

"Liar. You're treating me with less respect than an animal."

Raven instantly shut the door. She didn't have the mental energy to listen to her.

As they walked along the deck and saw the balloon being rigged up to the ship Raven and Alice both saw one of the pirates being tormented by some of the lost boys. Watching them made Raven roll her eyes at how immature boys could be. Like right now they were using a long strand of grass to poke into the pirates ear while he was pulling on a rope. He'd rage at them, they'd run away but they'd always come back to do it again.

They then tried doing it to another member of the crew. But he was totally focused and none reactive to the kids and their antics like he was used to them. They danced around, tried to poke and prod him, but he didn't react. Bored they went back to the first pirate knowing they could get a reaction out of him.

This was getting out of hand, so Raven approached them and they made an attempt to antagonise her, but she just ignored it. Words could not hurt her, she'd heard them all before. "Corpse Girl", "Zombie", "blood sucker", "vampire." Bla, bla, bla.

She instantly had their attention when she asked one question.

"Hey, do you want to meet our prisoner?" She failed to hide the smirk on her face.

The balloon was rigged up, all that was needed was air to fill it. Raven seriously doubted this could work. The balloon was far too small and she doubted they'd have enough hot air to inflate and make it fly.

Maybe we should put the Impostor inside it. She'll produce enough. She mentally laughed at that.

The Doctor, Captain Hook and first mate Apu were now taking tea while the crew enjoyed a flagon of rum.

"Alice, my dear." Said Captain Hook. "We are about ready to launch."

Raven looked up again at the contraption.

"This is not going to work." Raven said.

"O' Ye of little faith." The Doctor replied.

"If this doesn't work..." Raven thought a little for a good wager, "... then you'll have to start wearing something more practical than that Wild Bill Hickhock costume." A smirk. "Something of my choice."

The Doctor smirked himself. "Alright, and if it does you'll..." he paused to think. Raven got a bad feeling he was searching for something she hated. "...you'll have to deal with my record player."

Raven's face dropped a little and mentally she said, You Utter Bastard! But not to appear fazed she quickly nodded and said, "You're on!"

"Oh Ed!" The Doctor called out to the Ed boy.

The simple cartoon boy turned and hobbled towards them.

"Yes, Double Doctor D?" Ed said, not really looking at either of them because his eyes were turned outwards.

"I think it's time to launch."

"Lunch?! JAWBREAKERS?!" Ed got excited.

Suddenly a sword was drawn and the blade pointed at the Doctor from Captain Hook. Raven was instantly ready to jump into action to defend the Doctor.

"I am the Captain here, Doctor. 'I' shall give the order to launch!" Captain Hook insisted. Raven relaxed. She guessed there were some character traits that were hard to break.

"But of course." The Doctor said, motioning for Ed to follow Captain Hooks word.

"Cabin boy Edward!" Captain Hook said authoritatively.

"Yes, Captain Claw!" Ed said. Hook flinched but kept his nerve.

"Inflate the balloon."

Ed saluted with his foot before walking towards the hot air balloons basket. Roughly he took the mouth of the balloon in both hands. "Smoochie, smoochie!" He laughed and took a deep breath, his chest ballooned outwards a little and his mouth opened so wide you could fit a whole Ed in it. He closed his mouth, his cheeks were like massive balloons themselves now.

He jammed the mouth of the balloon over his own and he blew. He removed his mouth, took another deep breath and did it again, and again, and again.

Raven watched as the balloon filled to capacity within just five breaths. But he continued and the balloon began to stretch and get bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and it wasn't popping.

Raven was starting to regret her wager as the boat rocked a little. The balloon was now larger than the ship. One more breath, and she could feel the ship moving.

With a blur of motion Ed tied off the end of the balloon.

The ship creaked and groaned in protest under these new pressures. Raven expected something to fail. The ropes, what they were tied to, the balloon would pop or something.

"Are we moving?" Alice said. They could all feel it, but in the fog it was impossible to tell.

The Doctor picked up a bunch of pebbles he'd taken from the turtles shell, walked over to the edge and dropped one over the side. Five seconds later there was a clatter. After ten more seconds he threw another. Twenty seconds and they heard a more distant clatter. A third, and they couldn't hear a clatter at all.

Damn it!

Within two minutes they could see an orange disk burning above them and soon the mist cleared and they were above the fog in the shining sunlight.

The crew cheered at the feat that had been accomplished. The Doctor retrieved his coat and slipped it on, safe in the knowledge that he wasn't going to lose it today. She could feel the smugness radiating off of him.

Raven had the sneaking suspicion that upon returning to the TARDIS his record player would mysteriously break.

Gradually they floated higher and they could see the Elephant that Raven had spotted. The one the size of a mountain.

"Ah, such a beautiful beast?" The Wizard of Oz said.

"Ah..." Captain Hook marvelled, "Someone get me my blunderbuss. That is indeed a trophy to be had."

"Oh now, really Captain." Alice complained. Tinkerbell then appeared and flashed her wand in the pirates face giving him a look of disapproval.

"Come now, I am a villain after all." Captain Hook almost pouted like a child denied his play time.

The elephant remained un-moving, its trunk raised high into the sky.

"There are three more." The Doctor said and pointed into the distance. "Look." Indeed as Raven looked out she could see three others, all very far away. So far away they were faded with distance. They all faced away from each other and each had their trunks over their heads as if holding something up. "I was right!" The Doctor smiled.

"How modest." Raven replied, guessing the Doctor had worked something out.

"Ever heard of the legend of the World Turtle?" He asked her.

"No." Raven replied with disinterest.

"It's an old legend, a myth people used to believe, that the world is flat and held up by four elephants standing on the back of a giant turtle." The Doctor laughed, "And we're under the world."

"And people believed that?" Raven asked.

"Compared to some beliefs that are held, this one is reasonable."

"Of course it is."

"I never said it was reasonably reasonable." The Doctor shrugged, "But if its here in the censored zone, it must mean the mistress hates legends. Or the legend of the flat earth at least."

"Perhaps its best some ideas are censored." Alice suggested, "If people do honestly believe it."

"I'd question the ethics and effectiveness of doing that." The Doctor commented as he marvelled at the sight.

In reality Raven was awed too, but she tried to remain as passive as possible. But the colours of what she was seeing were so beautiful. The clouds and the fog beneath were pink like in a setting sun and appeared to roll on forever. The elephants were a pinkish grey and looked very ethereal and beautiful.

The ship flew over the heads of the elephants and began to ascend faster.

"Didn't I say I'd find a way out of here!" The Doctor smiled and looked up at... the ocean?! Fast approaching, they were about to slam into it! "I thought if the elephants held up 'the world' then maybe reaching 'the world' would throw us back into the Land of Fiction."

"That sounds logical to you?!" Raven questioned loudly.

"We're about to find out. Hold tight!" The Doctor said gripping the guard rail. If they slammed into that ocean at the speed they were ascending surely they'd be smashed to pieces!

Raven told the Doctor this.

"Ah, good point, forgot about that." God she could just hit him!

Raven stood back, and to help out she cast the entire ship in a black, bubble shield, and she just prayed it would hold. She strained and dug deep into her mental reserves as the ship slammed into the ocean.

She couldn't maintain it, the shield collapsed!

Rachel was disturbed by something. Her fingers twitched and she felt cold. There was the gentle patter, patter of rain on the roof.

For some reason she felt like she was being watched.

Her eyes opened and they went to the window, she hadn't drawn the curtains but all she could see was rain water running down the surface.

She rolled her head to go back to sleep. But her mind was suddenly awake when she spotted the shadowy figure standing at the foot of her bed.

It was a short person, in a long black cloak and hood. From under that hood two red eyes burnt into Rachels soul. The figure glided around the bed and looked down at her. Its eyes were hypnotic and Rachel couldn't help but stare up at them.

"Who... what?" Rachel squirmed. A ghostly voice came from the figure. Child like, female and musical.

Zagreus sits inside your head,

Zagreus lives among the dead,

Zagreus sees you in your bed,

White and sharp teeth spread across its hidden face.

and eats you when you're sleeping.

The figure held out a skeletal like hand and Rachel slowly retreated as if this thing might try to grab her. Under the cloak Rachel could see the body of a female. Raven? Was this Raven?! Her Raven?!

Oranges and lemons, say the bells of Saint Clement's.

You owe me five farthings, say the bells of Saint Martin's.

It sang in that creepy voice.

Here comes a candle to light you to bed,

Then some kind of silvery liquid raced down its arm. It arched backwards and formed into a serpent of some kind with glowing green eyes. It opened its mouth to show its fangs. The hooded girls hypnotically musical voice now became edged and harsh.

And here comes a chopper to chop off your head!

Chip, chop, chip, chop, and you - are - dead!

The snake leapt at her!

Rachel sat bolt up right in the darkness as her mind cleared. The figure was gone, as was its pet. It was just a nightmare.

"Dad, I will kill you when I get up." Rachel said quietly and angrily as she rolled back onto her side. She doubted she'd ever get back to sleep at this rate.

As her mind drifted back into the land of nod again her brain gently chimed.

Oranges and lemons, say the bells of Saint Clement's

You owe me five farthings, say the bells of Saint Martin's.

When will you pay me? Say the bells at Old Bailey...

To Be Continued...

Authors notes: I'm not that familiar with chess but I understand enough to know a few strategies, bluffs and traps.