Updated 08/September/2020 Finally, the update is finished. Yay!
Updated 16/September/2022
Updated 14/March/2023: Restored the original ending I had in mind for the story.
Chapter 77,
Me come with you?
When little Raven woke up she found she was placed into a very small, spherical room, just large enough for her to sit down in. The walls were smooth and round and there was no way out. She recognised one of these. She was in a psychic isolation chamber!
It was a form of punishment. The chamber was in a pocket dimension that effectively blinded you psychically, because this small room was all that was inside this universe. Raven banged on the interior of the dimension. This had to be a mistake. Only criminals were placed into these dimensions. Criminals or evil magical creatures like dark wizards, and demons. She was no dark wizard, she was no demon. So what was she doing in here? If nobody knew she was in here then she'd starve to death.
"Hello!" Raven cried, "Hello, I'm stuck and I can't get out. Help!"
She spent hours in here. She tried to pass the time by forming and playing with small portals, putting her hands through one and watching as her arm appeared elsewhere. She even removed her cloak and used her telekinetic powers to hold it up. It stood with the dark energy inside the hood. Two white orbs formed at little Raven's command to make a pair of eyes. The image was kind of creepy. A formless, robed creature. Mysterious, dark, and heartless. Is that what she looked like under the hood? A soulless, creepy, intimidating creature?
Cool!
Raven conjured another portal, a two way one that acted kind of like a mirror so she could look at herself. At her long, flowing, purple hair. The roots still hurt from where they had been pulled. The unkempt hair no longer matched her purple eyes, they had both become penetrating, constantly suspicious and cold. From the air she conjured a pair of scissors made entirely of dark energy. Despite being made out of energy they'd still be sharp.
The blades closed under her chin and strands of hair from her left side fell to the floor. Then the right side. Raven was no hair stylist, but she felt like she had to remove most of this hair and alter it. Her hair was something Gallrick said he liked about her. She didn't consider this to be silly, but she wanted to totally alter herself so she was nothing like the person Gallrick said he'd liked, anything that made her special in his eyes was going to be wiped away.
Purple strands fell to the floor and piled up as Raven cut the hair shorter, and shorter and shorter, experimenting with different looks until she settled on something. She nearly settled on a centre-parted curtain hair style. But that wasn't good enough. Using multiple portals she reshaped it. Soon, gone was the parting in the middle, the hair was now brushed backwards, but spread-out from the high centre of her forehead. She still had two curtains of purple hair coming down down either side of her face, but it looked like she was wearing a helmet, it looked stupid. There was something missing, something to give this hair style some flare. That's when she conjured a portal to see the back of her own head. She reached out and began to cut the hair shorter at the back of her head while keeping it long around her face. She also thinned out the hair, and along the edges where her hair ended she cut small splits, akin to the edges of wings. Her hair now looked like a pair of raven's wings.
With a flick of her mind her hair went upwards, almost forming a circle of flowing hair around her head. The hair fell back down again, and Raven nodded. She liked the reflection she saw in her portal. The hair style was unique and was very 'her'. She made a few other small alterations so it framed her heart shaped face perfectly.
Heart shaped...
Heart. Follow her heart. That's what the books always said, it was the one lesson she'd taken from them. Follow your heart or your instincts. Well, her heart had led her to Gallrick, and Gallrick...
Raven remembered. Gallrick, he'd betrayed her. Why? Because he was a Witch Finder and he thought he'd found a witch? Raven certainly didn't think of herself as a witch. But even if she was one, so what? She'd been nice and kind to him, she didn't want to hurt him, she wanted to be his friend. She thought he was cool. Yet, Gallrick fed her to the wolves. Why?
The books also used to say you should judge a person not on arbitrary things. You should judge a person based on their character. So was Raven's character not good enough?
She sat with her knees brought up to her head. Judge base on character, not appearance, nor arbitrary factors, nor personal opinion. Character. But what was the point of judging people on character, if everyone else judged you for something else? You could be the kindest person in the world, and because you are 'wrong' in some way it meant you needed to suffer.
Raven looked up at the far wall, her face frowned, and her eyes became uncaringly dark.
Light! A golden portal formed and stepping from it was a woman. An ancient woman, long robed. A face that was so wise and yet so sad and framed in her long white hair under a golden coronet housing many mystical jewels.
Azar. The Grand Mistress. She looked a little taken aback at Raven's new hair cut, and with all the hair that was now left discarded on the floor.
"Master Azar!" Raven said in surprise. She bowed at her in respect. But when she raised her head she saw the disappointment in her eyes. No, not disappointment, wariness.
"I am speaking to the young girl, Raven, am I?" She asked. Who else would she be talking to?
Raven cocked her head, not understanding. She wanted to give a sarcastic quip, but refrained. It would not be respectful. "It is me, Master Azar. Can't you see me?"
"You don't remember what happened?" Azar asked.
"Remember?" Raven asked, "That Andra and her two friends tried to drown me?"
"Is that what happened?" Azar asked as if that was not obvious. "It is not what we saw."
"Master Azar, I wouldn't have been so angry if they had left me alone." Azar looked at her up and down. Was that fear in her eyes. Why was the old woman so scared? Raven didn't want her to be scared, it upset the small girl.
Azar brushed some of the hair aside from the floor and sat down in a lotus position in the clearing. Raven made to sit with her but she held her hand up. "No, you can stand if you wish. I'm old and need the rest." Raven wasn't stupid, Azar wanted to get down to her level. "My child. It took myself and Kelisha all our strength to subdue you."
Raven didn't speak. She thought that maybe she had misheard.
"I don't understand."
"Neither do we." Raven could tell Azar wasn't telling her something. "But it is troubling. The council believes it better you do not know, but I think it important you are made aware. There is a power inside of you Raven, a power that makes you extra-ordinary." She said, saying the word as two words for greater emphasis.
"But I don't feel anything." Raven said.
"What is the first mantra of our order?" Azar asked.
"No Emotion, be at peace." Raven quoted.
"All that power, funnelled through your emotions. You did things even we are not capable of, all through the focus of your emotions."
"But, I was just angry." Raven insisted.
"It is that anger, my child, that made you stand so powerfully against us."
"I'm… I'm sorry." She said.
"I know. But sadly the matter is out of my hands. I was out voted."
"Out voted?"
"The council wishes to remove you from your classes. All of them. They wish to send you to the doms."
Fear and shame went through Raven's soul. The doms meant domestic. Cleaning, cooking, temple maintenance. Her powers would never be developed further. In fact, they may be taken away from her by force. She could just imagine smug little Andra and her friends picking on her, laughing at her as she scrubbed the floors of the temple as they walked all over them, and her. No! She'd run away before that ever happened.
"Calm yourself." Azar said, "They aren't taking your powers away, and they cannot make you go to the doms. But they can stop your classes." That was a little better, but it meant her education would stop, and all because Andra had to be a stupid cry-bully. "But they said nothing about me teaching you in the stead of your teachers."
Raven didn't know how to feel about this. "You. Teach me?" She asked.
"You disapprove?" She asked, as if Raven would've said no.
"It… it would be an honour. But… why?"
"Because I feel your powers are something that should be nurtured, not cut down. Just because you had a little tantrum does not mean you are a danger." Azar said, the wrinkles in her eyes suggested she was smiling with her eyes. Raven's face lit up, but then it fell.
"What about Andra?" Raven asked, "Will she be punished?"
"Is that important to you?" Azar asked. It actually was. She'd provoked her. Poked a sleeping lion and was then surprised when it tried to strike at her. "I think you did enough. Stripping her of her robes and sending her up into Maddox's lecture naked. However, I think you should know that, officially, we wouldn't be able to do anything."
"She tried to drown me!" Raven said.
"And we only have your word on that, and the word of the Witch Finders son carries more political weight than yours does. I'm afraid wet hair just does not cut it." Azar said in a level tone. "We could only go on what we saw. But from our perspective, you were the aggressor."
"You believe me though, right?"
"I believe you would not wish to intentionally harm someone, unless emotionally provoked." Azar said. "But if I am to teach you, you must promise me that you will make a great effort to control yourself. What we saw was untapped potential. As we break down the barriers further to tame that power more will try to escape with emotion."
"So I am to kill all emotion?" Raven was fine with that. They were useless anyway.
"That is not possible. If you try to bottle up your emotions and feelings they'll escape somehow. The point is not to kill emotion, but to feel them responsibly." Raven didn't understand that concept and didn't want to push it further.
"Can I come out now?" Raven asked.
Azar held out her hand. "Yes, child. We may leave now." Raven took it.
Raven stirred and stretched to remove the tension in her shoulders. She'd never felt this relaxed before, she'd never felt this way before, at least not without everything flying out of control.
Her tongue rolled in her mouth as she instinctively hugged the person next to her.
Person?!
Her eyes snapped open. It was morning and her arms were around... around Russel! She felt herself blush so badly you could see it from the moon. She held herself as still as possible as if any movement would wake a slumbering beast.
As she shifted she noticed his arms were loosely around her waist.
Quickly she checked her clothes. She was still wearing them and her trousers were still secure around her waist. She had some boundaries she wasn't ready to cross and Russel had respected that.
The demon part of her wanted to reel in disgust at this. It just felt so unnatural. She had to get out of here.
She thought about passing through the wall next to her, but behind that wall was the bathroom, and she could sense someone already in there in the tub. She could pass through the floor, but there was someone down there too and she'd definitely be noticed. Instead, she began to levitate upwards, hoping Russel's arms would drop. Instead Russel's arms sleepily wrapped around her and slowly dragged her back down.
Raven felt like a cat that didn't want to be held. She glared down at the human that had its arms around her. Complicated feelings rushed through her head, not all of them at all logical, but they were pleasant. She feared those pleasant memories turning sour and dark, and the longer she stayed, the greater the chance she would just mess this whole thing up. She was not girlfriend material. Russel would grow tired of her. She'd sorted out the problem, she should leave.
Russel looked really cute and innocent as he slept. So helpless, and defenceless despite his larger frame and stronger body. If she wished, Raven could crush him now for daring to put his hands on her.
Raven laid back down and brushed some of Russel's hair as he snoozed. She was having very weird thoughts and feelings that she didn't know how to process. She slowly got closer and quickly pecked him on the lips. Unconsciously, his arms moved to hold her a little more closely. Raven again froze, not used to the affection. No one had ever tried to do that to her before, and to anyone who would try she'd usually have rip them out of reality. Raven's arms slowly moved around Russel's shoulders.
Curiously, she was feeling all these emotions and yet nothing was happening, no escaping power. She was feeling, and yet, she was at peace. That must've been what Azar meant about feeling emotion with peace. Raven tucked his head under her chin. She kissed him on the forehead and hugged him to herself.
"Mine." She announced, squeezing him.
"Huh?" Russel's eyes slowly opened. He blinked a few times to remove the sleep from his eyes.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Raven said. Russel tilted his head to one side, as if considering something. Then he pecked her on the lips. It felt good. Raven's face slowly began to fall. "Why? Why do you like me?"
"I don't. I just hate you less than others." He joked.
"You know what I mean. Why? Why would you want to be with me? I... I think you could do better."
"I told you. You're an outcast, like me." He said.
"You don't think I'm creepy? Weird?"
"Yeah, I actually do." He teased. "But in a good way." He said vaguely. "I think you're fascinating." 'Fascinating,' Raven had never been described like that before. It made a change from 'repulsive'.
"Did you think I was easy?" Raven found herself asking.
"There's nothing easy about you." Russel joked. "I thought you were interesting. There is just something about you that I don't think I could get from other girls. You're individual, strong and independent, and I mean in a proper way. Not in an Antonia or Sarah kind of way." Raven didn't know what to say about any of that, but okay.
"I think... you're kind of interesting too." Raven really didn't know what to say. Russel's arms moved over her back to hug her to him. She didn't mind. "But listen, in this relationship," Raven pressed her forehead against his, "I'm in charge, got it."
Russel pushed back with his own forehead. "Says who?" He said with a playful smile.
"Says me!" Raven pushed back, her frowning face slowly turning slightly upwards.
"We'll see about..." Russel's words stopped when Raven pressed her own lips to his.
"Now we're even." She said to him.
"Why you little!" Russel laughed.
Raven laughed. She felt so weird, she felt so wonderfully... normal for a change. She was going to ask something, but decided to throw caution to the wind. She warp her arms around his shoulders to make any retreat impossible.
"I'm so keeping you." She said.
"Okay, slightly creepy."
"In a good way?" She asked.
"Let's find out."
When Raven next woke up she was alone. Still in Russel's bed, but alone. She waited for a little while, but he didn't come back in. Pulling all her clothes back on she left the room and went down stairs.
Russel was talking and laughing with another girl. When Raven spotted who it was she instantly felt peeved. It was that blond bimbo Antonia had said Russel was going out with. She flashed the goth girl and enchanting smile which Raven hated. The demon girl was also very self-conscious about the blonds bust size, which she was obviously proud of.
"Good morning, Raven."
"Raven, what a pretty name. She your girlfriend now?" Raven's face dropped. So they weren't together. Raven waited to see what Russel would say to that.
"I like to think so." Russel said turning to her, Raven looked at him. Girlfriend? Raven never thought of herself as any-bodies anything.
"Since when did we decide on that?" Raven asked. Russel cocked his head to one side. Raven didn't know what kind of a reaction she was expecting. She sat next to Russel, looked over at the blond girl and decided to stake a claim. Russel was looking at Raven and so she leaned forward quickly and kissed him again. Then shot the girl a look as if to say, 'mine!'
But the busty, blond bimbo looked pleased as punch.
"Congratulations, uncle Russi."
Uncle Russi? Oh god, it must be his niece! How old did his sister need to be for him and his niece to be a similar age?
Russel put his arm around her back. Not used to this Raven sharply turned her head at the affection and flinched a little. Russel cocked his head to one side again, as if processing this, then he removed his hand. But Raven grabbed the hand and put it back on her hip. She'd always associated such a movement as dominating, but weirdly with this boy she now recognised it as a sign of affection. Raven didn't know how to show affection back, and didn't want to try while in the company of someone. She was too scared she'd make a fool of herself, so she just tried to relax.
Despite not knowing the niece for all that long Raven decide she didn't like her, not because of anything in particular, just that she didn't like new people. But she seemed nice enough, though she asked a lot of searching questions which Raven decided to be reserved about with most and downright aloof with the rest.
Raven's arms disappeared into her pocket and her hands brushed up against something, something with buttons. Sarah's phone. Oh, she'd forgotten about the girls. Raven suddenly stood. "I've gotta go take care of something." Raven said.
"Come back soon." Russel said, "you could use a good breakfast after last night." Raven felt herself blushing before she realised he meant what happened at the ruin. She lent over and pecked him on the lips again before leaving the house. She pulled her hood up to protect herself from the sunshine. As she walked she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Though she didn't express it very well, she was in a good mood. Such a good mood that nothing could bring her down, and she was going to make that mood even better.
Down at the ruin, and still hooded, Raven tossed the phone up and down in her hands, very pleased with herself for what she'd just done. She played with the phone between her fingers for a little while before she used her powers and opened a small, dark sphere, so she could peer into the darker dimension beyond. The sphere was no bigger than a crystal ball which hovered in the air. Through it, Raven could see the faces of three, terrified girls.
"Raven? What happened, where are we?" Antonia demanded.
"Do you like it." Raven smiled evilly, "It's actually my soul."
"Get us out of here!" Lisa shrieked. "It's horrible in here!" Even Raven didn't know what kind of demons manifested within her soul, she just hoped they were mostly harmless.
"I'll think about it." Raven shrugged as if she didn't really care. Then she held out the phone so they could see the screen and she played the video from last night. The three girls attacking Russel, beating him up, and the relish on Antonia's face when Russel started lashing out. Anyone who watched it would get the opposite vibe of what the girls wanted to capture.
The girls faces started to go white. "I've just shown this to everyone in the village. The pub Landlord, the people in the coffee shop, the book store. You name it, I showed it to them." Raven shrugged, "some thought the beating was justified, but they were shocked at how vicious you were to someone who could not fight back." She smirked. "I think the delicate, little angel narrative won't fly anymore now."
"You had no right!" Antonia shouted.
"Russel had the right to be fairly judged." Raven put the phone back in her pocket. "And you do not have the right to get away with it."
"You bitch!" Antonia screamed.
"You got that right." Raven said. The demon girl went up to the small sphere and held it within her hands. She lowered it so she was looking down at them. "You smacked me last night," Raven's eyes went darker, "and I just want to say. Ouch." The girls fell silent, they were all cowering from her trying to shrink away. Raven shook the little black orb like it was a snow-globe and she heard the girls scream as they fell over in a heap. The demon girl felt embarrassed to even have her gender in common with those people. It also kind of disgusted her to know they were cowering within her own soul. It felt icky. Time to let them go.
With a mental snap of her fingers the bubble collapsed and the three girls fell to the stone floor. Though not hard enough to cause any damage, just in case they ran away claiming Russel did it to them.
"Be nice." Raven said to them.
They looked up at her and tried to get away on their hands and knees. As they did Antonia dropped something from her bag. It was Russel's old sketch pad, the one he'd lost earlier. Raven scooped it up and tucked it under her hoodie. The demon girl took steps forwards, looking down upon them. They pressed themselves up against the far wall. Raven cocked her head to one side and placed her hands on her hips as she glared at them.
"I'll be watching you." Was all she said, before she slowly spun on her heel and calmly walked away. The girls didn't make a move until the demon girl was up the stone steps and out of sight.
Raven felt good about herself as she walked back into the sunny little town. She'd put three bullying girls in their places. She'd defeated an evil all by herself with no help from the Doctor and she'd found someone whom she felt could be her partner. What the creature was she wasn't sure, but she had a deep suspicion about it. A rather embarrassing one. The creature was gone now, so she decided bot to pay it any more of her mind.
Her mood was slightly spoilt however, when she saw the unmistakable image of the Doctor's stupid purple beetle car parked outside the pub. He was back and he was just getting out of his car as she approached.
"Hello Rae-Rae."
"Where the hell have you been?" She asked pointedly.
"Good morning to you too."
"I've been stuck in the sticks for three days with only a few pounds to my name!" Raven fumed.
"Sorry, I didn't think I'd be so long." The Doctor sighed, "You have no idea of the week I've had."
"Week? In fact, I don't want to know." Raven groaned giving the Doctor a pouting look.
"Have you enjoyed yourself?" The Doctor asked. Raven shrugged.
"Kind of dull."
"Well, come on then. I'll collect my things and we'll head back to the TARDIS."
"Sounds good to me." Raven said, but then she froze. She'd almost forgotten. "Doctor, I…" why was she pausing, she wasn't embarrassed about it. "Can I bring something with me?"
The Doctor paused, halfway through the door of the public house. "Something, or someone?"
God, she hated when he did that. "Someone, can we bring someone?!"
The Doctor sighed, he didn't say yes, but he didn't say no. "Raven. It's dangerous, what I do. Whoever you bring will be in constant danger."
"I'll look after him." Raven said.
"He's not a puppy, or a pet. He's a person." The Doctor paused, "He is a person, right?"
"Yeah, a boy." The Doctor got a knowing look on his face. "I can handle him. I'll keep him out of trouble. I promise." The Doctor looked like he disapproved, he even shook his head.
"If he can handle himself, then he can come. But be sure." Raven wasn't listening, all she heard was a 'yes'.
"Cool, I'll be right back." She spun on her heel and walked rather hurriedly to Russel's house. The Doctor shrugged behind her in a disapproving, dad kind of way as he vanished into the pub to collect his things.
Raven just imagined what Russel's face was going to be like when she showed him the TARDIS. His little mind was so going to be blown.
Raven didn't even knock to be let in. She simply opened the doors. Went upstairs and found Russel in his room doodling in that book of hers, the one with the wolf on it. She never did find a story to write. She then produced Russel's old sketch pad.
"Oh, Raven. You found it!" Russel got to his feet, kissed her and took the pad from her, checking all the drawings within. In Raven's book he was drawing Raven herself. She was in a relaxed posture, with her hood down, arms up, eyes closed and she was smiling, power arced from one hand to the other and she was surrounded by planets and power. It was kind of moving that he saw her this way.
"Russel, the Doctor's come back for me." She said. Russel looked up, his face had dropped, he looked so adorable he knew what it meant. "I want you to come with us."
"Run away with you?" Russel asked, the request did sound unreasonable, asking him to leave his family for a girl he'd just met, and it probably was. She anticipated the questions and the arguments so she just cut to the chase.
"What if I told you me and the Doctor don't just drive around everywhere. We actually travel in a machine through space and time."
"If I didn't know you I'd say I'd thought you were totally barking." Russel said.
"It's true. We could bring you back here before you leave."
"Where would we go?"
"Anywhere in time and space." Raven frowned, remembering his special interest, "We're not going back to the Titanic again, before you ask."
"Back? Again?"
"I'll tell you later." Raven didn't want to over complicate things right now. Raven took the boys hands in her own and held them firmly. "Come with me." They kissed. Then Russel spoke.
"When's the next flight, and what will I need?" Raven felt her inner self jump for joy. Russel began gathering all the things he'd need. Tooth brush, tooth paste, pencils, paper, change of clothes and so on. He was so excited and Raven just watched him and imagined life in the TARDIS with her Doctor, and her… her 'personal boy'.
Raven's attention was attracted to a small sculpture. Something her mind and powers had created using the stones from the ruin while she and Russel had been making out. It, in effect, was just a twisted lump of rock of a strange shape. It was not meant to be anything, but in the current light Raven could see a face. A face in torment, and pain, reaching out for her. Half human, half Cyberman, stuck in mid conversion.
Raven's face fell and the pit dropped out of her stomach. Was it her imagination, or did the human side of that statue look like Russel rather than Armstrong? She stared at the sculpture as the penny dropped, with a horrible clang.
"I'm ready." Russel said, heaving a bag on his shoulders. "I'll tell my mum I'm just going camping, and…"
"You can't come with me." Raven's voice cracked.
"What?"
"You… you can't come with me." She felt her eyes moisten. Why did the universe have to be so cruel? Why couldn't she have nice things?
"What do you mean?"
"It's dangerous out there." Raven said, "more dangerous than anything we've faced here. Real monsters, creatures that will want to kill you."
"I can handle myself." Russel said.
"No." Raven said firmly.
"But…"
"NO!" Raven said, spinning around she wrapped her arms around him. "Please don't ask me again. I… I don't want to lose you." Russel's arms closed around her too. He didn't say anything for a while, that was the worst thing.
"Why don't you come with me?" He asked.
"Me come with you?" She asked.
"Yes." Russel said, "It's not so bad here, is it?"
"I… I can't do that." Raven admitted, "I'm running from something. It… it can't find me. If I stay here I'm putting people in danger." She looked up into his eyes. "Including you." More silence from the two teens.
"Will, will I ever see you again?" Russel asked.
"I… I don't know."
"How did you expect to bring me back, if you can't come back yourself?"
"I'd force the TARDIS to land here again if I had to." Raven said with determination.
"So you could come back?" Russel asked.
"Yes, I could. One day." Raven said in a small voice as he held her.
"Then promise me, you'll come back." Russel said.
"I promise, I'll come back." She looked up into his eyes, and she sealed the promise with a kiss. Without breaking the kiss Raven pushed the backpack off Russel so she could get her arms around him. The Doctor had made her wait three days, now he could wait.
Raven hated this car now more than ever as the noisy thing carried her away from Russel. He'd escorted her to the car, said a quick hello to the Doctor. Thankfully, the bothersome Time Lord did not spoil their moment together. The Doctor did question why he wasn't getting in with them. "Just drive." Is all Raven said, and they were off. She watched Russel vanish in the doors rear view mirror while he waved to her. Raven swallowed, meekly held up her hand and waved into the doors mirror.
He was gone.
She clutched her wolf book in her arms, within were a few mementos of her visit to Devils End. Some scraps of paper, Russel's drawings he'd given her to remember him by.
Gently resting her head against the window Raven watched the countryside go by. She didn't put any music on, and the Doctor made no effort to put any on either. He let her mope. She didn't want to admit it, but she was, she was moping; and pining. She'd experienced love and part of her wished she hadn't because now it was gone, and it hurt.
"Doctor." She asked.
"Yes, Raven."
"How do you deal with this?" Without looking she held up her palm to him. "No jokes!"
The Doctor sighed. "It's difficult. When someone leaves. You get used to the way they talk, the way they laugh." He sounded distant now. "The familiar scent of aerosolised, high explosive, nitro-9."
"Huh?"
"Nothing." The Doctor sounded like he was mulling something over. "They're still with me you know." He said, tapping the side of his head. "In here." It sounded stupid, but Raven was listening. "I can visit them whenever I like, I can bring them up. If I really want to, otherwise they just sleep inside my mind."
"Part of me wants to just forget. Forget all of it. I don't want to feel these feelings anymore. I feel like I've lost something."
"It'll fade... in time." The Doctor said. Time, time, it was always time with the Doctor. Raven sighed.
"I'll… I'll just let him sleep for now." Raven closed her eyes and tried to let the rumble of the engine relax her.
She didn't even want to ask what the heck the Doctor had been doing for the past few days. It just didn't seem that important right now. But something had rattled the Doctor's cage. She could feel it in his aura.
"Doctor, are you okay?" She asked him.
"It's nothing. I…" The Doctor sighed, "something walked over my grave earlier. But it's all fixed now." Raven didn't want to pry. The Doctor was made of stern stuff, like she was.
Soon the familiar shape of the TARDIS appeared on the roadside. Raven couldn't wait to be home. She really wanted to go for a swim.
Funny. It had only been a few days, but Raven was sure the TARDIS had not been parked in this specific place when she left.
As the Doctor pulled up and got out of the car to unlock the TARDIS doors Raven's head tracked him. What the heck had he been doing? And why was he being so mysterious about it?
The car drove through the narrow doors of the TARDIS.
Back in the present day, in the Titan's Tower. Raven stared long and hard at the drawing Russel had made. One of them were of both himself and her, smiling in a romantic pose. Part of her still wanted to blow chunks as she looked at it, other parts of her longed for that kind of companionship again, but knowing full well that it was impossible. No one 'liked' her in that way. Not in the way she wanted.
The only person who briefly made her feel that way was Aqua-lad, but that was only because he looked like such a hunk. There was also…
Raven's gaze fell upon an old trunk, not her Gallifreyan one, this was another one. She'd kept it under lock and key for years. Within was a single book. Trapped in that book was a dragon. An evil dragon who appeared to Raven as a powerful, human, teenage wizard. One whom she felt she could have a relationship with. But the wizard avatar was a lie, the dragon had played her heart like a fiddle and so tricked Raven into releasing it from its prison. She gazed at the box like it was her enemy.
She remembered when the dragon appeared in a semi-human form made up of a collection of folded pages from the book it was trapped in. The avatar had looked like a mummy. The eyes had been the only thing that were distinct on the avatar, since they came from a page where the books author had been sketched. The rest of the body had been indistinct, but humanoid looking. It had...
Suddenly, her heart sank further. She hated the dragon creature even more now as she realised something. The semi-human avatar the dragon had chosen. The body shape, the voice, it's way of moving. It was a mixture of people she knew. Traits she knew from men she'd trusted. Russel, Armstrong, the Doctor and some others. It had all been plucked from her memory. That's why she easily fell for the avatar, it had felt so familiar to her.
Raven turned back to the sketch book she had on her bed and turned a page, and saw the picture Russel had drawn of her before she'd left him. Okay, now she was pissed! She turned to look back at the trunk with the dragon book in it. While trying to charm her that creature had shown her a picture of Raven, happy, content, with magic energy and the planets dancing around her. It had moved her at the time but she'd always thought it had looked familiar. Now, looking at the sketchbook she knew where from. It was there, the same picture. It was Russel's drawing to start with and that dragon had plucked that from her memories too. The only difference had been what Raven was wearing in the picture. The dragon had shown her in her usual leotard, Azarathian garb, not her hoodie and jeans.
She approached the trunk and sharply kicked it. She was going to make sure the dragon never escaped that prison again, never, ever!
Raven turned back to her wolf book. She was about to close it and put it back in her Gallifreyan trunk, but as she picked it up she'd noticed something. Something that had fallen between the pages and been crushed. Upon closer inspection, it was a mass of crumbs. Crumbs from a potato chip. Raven's mood darkened.
"Beast boy!" That little imp had been through her stuff again!
Slamming the book and tossing it onto her bed Raven stamped out of her room. She'd kill that little troll when she got her hands on him.
She banged on his door sharply and waited for the disgusting ball of snot to answer, a pulsating vein throbbed on her head.
When Beast Boy opened the door she didn't speak, she just gave him a dark look.
"Whoa! Whatever I did, I'm sorry okay." He retreated as Raven entered the mess of a place he called a room. His clothes littered the place, junk food was left to rot on the table and his bed wasn't even made.
"You are so dead!" She threatened.
"What did I even do?" Beast Boy cried as if this was an injustice.
"Stop-going-through-my-stuff!" Raven hissed at him. The computer screen to her right was on, and something about it caught her eye. The was an image of a drawing, one that looked like it was in a very familiar hand. Her head turned and glanced at the screen, taking it in for a full second. Her eyes rolled to take in Beast Boy for another second so he stayed where he was, then she looked back at the screen.
Approaching it, Raven expected lude pictures of girls. But no, this was of a picturesque place in the countryside. It didn't look like somewhere in the states. The rolling hills suggested England.
The website was dedicated to an artist. To a…
To Russel Hopkins…
What the…?
Raven used the mouse and she clicked on page after page, each drawing was a beautiful render of the places he'd been. Some were interpretative works, some were portraits. All were stunning to look at.
"Who is this 'Russel' guy?" Beast Boy asked, "A favourite artist?"
"You… could say that." Raven said, she didn't want to say more.
"You know, I used to draw!" Beast Boy said excitedly.
"I'm not interested in your crayon drawings, thank you." Raven dismissed. She found one drawing in particular. It was called the 'Shadow Girl' and if looked at the correct way it was definitely Raven herself, no question. Similar hair, similar build, but no way was she that tall. But the eyes, she had the same eyes.
Raven then considered. All that stuff with Devils End. It would've happened recently, relatively speaking, a few years ago? Technically, there would've been two Raven's wandering around the planet, and she didn't even know, nor think about it.
There was a contact address. She could communicate, she could talk to Russel again. But she couldn't. What was going to happen had already happened. She couldn't change it, no matter how tempting it may be. Yes, she did see Russel again, and the memory was painful and not one she wanted to re-live right now. What is done is done, and what is going to happen must always happen. As is the way of time.
Did he know about the Teen Titans? Did he ever see her on the news and think. 'I know that girl?' Probably not. He never mentioned ever seeing her in the interim as far as she was aware, and she didn't want to risk ripping the universe apart, especially after Raven and her friends had fought so hard to save it from Trigon.
Beast Boy was giving her a weird look. Did he know? Shit, he'd looked in the book, he would've seen that picture of herself and Russel.
"Hey, if you want to talk to him." Beast Boy said tenderly, "There is his contact info." He pointed. "I'll just step out for a while and…" Raven grabbed his arm.
"That won't be necessary." She said flatly. "He's just an artist I liked. Trust me, people are not the same in person." She lied. "My room, six o'clock." She'd said to Beast Boy, "you can have your bedtime story, so long as you don't bring any potato chips."
Beast Boy looked happy. "It's a date!"
"No, it isn't." Raven quickly cut across him, and she turned to leave his room, all anger forgotten. She risked looking back at the strange little creature. Despite finding evidence of a past flame, Beast Boy hadn't reacted the way she thought he would, instead he'd gone out of his way to find Russel and try to re-connect them. That was really sweet of him, but unnecessary. 'Love and Romance is for the weak-minded,' after all. She guessed the short, green boy was kind of cute in some ways. Though in reality he was obviously just utterly hideous.
So why can't I stop looking at him?
The penny was in the air and…
NOPE!
She'd closed the door and was walking away before the penny even dropped.
"How, hold down the blue stabilisers." The Doctor instructed. It took a second for Raven to recognise the stabilisers and hold them down. She didn't understand why the Doctor made such a song and dance about this. Piloting the TARDIS was simple.
"You're doing marvellously." The Doctor clapped his hands as Raven stood waving her arms around allowing her powers to race around and adjust controls rather than doing it physically. "Now this is the tricky bit. Take the brake and gently ease it down to slow the TARDIS." Raven did as instructed and the machine began to make its landing wheezes.
The wheezing stopped.
"Perfect landing." The Doctor said, "You've mastered take off and landing. We just need to work on flight."
Raven smirked a little. "I think I'm better at flying this crate than you are."
The Doctor looked mock-affronted. "Wait until we hit a time rupture, then we'll see how smug you are, young lady." The Doctor looked down at the coordinates. "These settings look familiar." He then looked up at her with a knowing look.
Raven rolled her eyes. She activated the door control and strolled with purpose towards them.
"Hold on, Raven!" The Doctor said, "post flight checks first. We may have drifted off course a little."
Raven shook her head. "I felt the vortex as we fell. We are exactly where and when we're supposed to be. You should let me land the ship in future, we might actually get to where you want." She was out the door before he could retort.
It was a lovely summers evening in Devils End, just two weeks after she'd left Russel. They'd landed in a side street behind the pub, by the bins, exactly where Raven wanted to land.
She had a subtle bounce in her step as she rounded the corner and went directly for Russel's house. It may only be two weeks for him, but it had been two months for her. She'd missed him, but she'd had other things to deal with at the time. Dominators, Quarks, the Krell, Sontarans, just to name a few.
A car drove past and Raven spotted a familiar person in the driving seat. It was Russel. She sped up her walk. She stopped when he parked outside his house. He and a girl got out.
It must be another one of his nieces. Raven reasoned. But the way they walked made them seem a little too pally.
Raven watched from the hedge through the window and watched Russel and this other girl. A girl with black hair, a sweet smile and a cleavage you could ski down. Raven glanced down at her own chest and her rage built.
She watched them kiss. Her urge to kill rose. How dare this black-haired bimbo steal what belonged to Raven. How dare Russel dump her for a girl who was more chest than torso!
Russel motioned that he was just going upstairs for a second.
Raven projected a black portal behind her and stepped into it. She waited for him in his bedroom. When he entered he was flung up against the wall and held there as Raven emerged, arm outstretched, her eyes glowing in fury.
"Ra... Raven?!" Russel exclaimed.
"Surprised to see me?!" Raven growled.
"Frankly, yes." Russel bit.
"Who is that bimbo downstairs?!" Raven questioned. Russel looked her dead in the eye.
"My girlfriend! Hannah." Raven's eyes grew wider, she so wanted to break this cheating bastards legs. "I waited for you." Russel said, "I waited for two long years."
Raven's face dropped. "Two y... Two years?!" Raven's arm relaxed. Russel did look a little older and even had a short beard growing from his smooth face.
"Yes, two years, and you didn't come back." Raven gently dropped Russel and now wished she had preformed those checks the Doctor recommended. "I thought you'd died." Russel's hardened eyes became softer. "You didn't come back, I thought you'd died or found someone else and forgot about me."
"I didn't." Raven said, "I'm back now." She took a step closer to him so she could touch his waist. "So you can dump Titanic Tits down there, and we can pick up where we left off." She pushed herself up on her tiptoes to kiss him. He pulled back.
"She was there for me when you weren't." Russel said.
"The Doctor messed up the coordinates!" Raven insisted. "I wanted to come back two weeks later, not two years." She tried to wrap her arms around him again. "I'm sorry, okay! I just want to continue on."
"Like nothing has happened?"
"Exactly."
"Like the year I've had with Hannah meant nothing?" Russel asked. "What am I supposed to do? Go down stairs and say, 'Sorry love, but an old flame I pined over for two years, who I'd only know for a few days has shown up. Thanks for the year we spent together, but get lost!'?"
Raven looked away. She saw a sketch pad open with drawings of her inside it. Old drawings. She turned back to Russel.
"But... this is not how it was supposed to be." Was all Raven could think to say.
"Do you want to be with me?" Russel asked. Raven didn't break eye contact, subtly she nodded. "Then stay with me."
"I can't do that." She said.
"Then let me come with you."
"I can't do that either."
"What do you expect me to do after you leave again? Wait another two years?"
"I won't mess up again, I promise." Raven said quietly.
"What if you come back and it's ten years later? What if you come back and I'm thirty? Forty? Fifty?! And you haven't aged a day?" Raven conceded that might be a problem. She knew how time worked. She couldn't just go back and see him earlier, if it hadn't happened already. Time was weird like that.
"Russel." She showed her emotion on her face. Her desperation to have him back. "Russel... I... I... I lo..."
"You can't even say it." Russel said.
"You never..."
"I loved you!" Russel said. Raven's eyes went wide. The use of past tense made her feel worse. "I loved you." Russel took a deep breath. "But you were tearing me up inside waiting. That's why I decided to let you go and move on."
"But it's only been two years." Raven said shaking her head.
"How long has it been for you?"
"Two months."
"I waited over a year." Russel said solemnly.
"I would've waited a hundred years, a thousand years. Thousands of years." Raven said. "I'm never going to meet someone else like you."
"Raven, 'll never forget what you did for me, and how you made me feel." Russel said, "but we're finished. I'm sorry."
If Raven's brain was a computer it would be swamped with 'DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE!' messages. A large void opened up in her heart. She grabbed at her head. How could Russel let go so easily?
She grabbed him with her powers and threw him across the room. "Bastard!" She cried. Russel crashed through the door and tumbled down the stairs.
Raven's hands raced up to her face. Cold fear gripped her heart.
"Russel? Russel, are you alright?" Came Hannah's irritating voice. Raven raced to the top of the stairs and looked down. Russel was in a heap on the floor, his arm was bent backwards in a way it shouldn't be. The door beneath Raven opened. Hannah didn't scream. "Russel!" She cried and went down to nurse the fallen boy.
Raven came down the stairs. When Hannah looked up at her, Raven's soul dived into her eyes. Hannah froze, totally unaware of what was happening around her. Raven pushed Hannah away from Russel as she knelt down and examined him. He was unconscious.
The damage was superficial but she'd come close to breaking his neck. She laid him out and healed all the injuries he'd suffered. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" She told his prone form. "I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never hurt you." She said.
Once she was done she took Russel and Hannah in her powers and left them in front of the TV. They'd wake up in about ten minutes and carry on like nothing had ever happened. They'd kiss, they'd make out, maybe they'd... do all the things...
Raven turned to Hannah. She looked nice enough and her feelings seemed genuine. The goth girl knelt over her, took Hannah's lower jaw in her hand and stared into Hannah's eyes. Raven drilled one thing into her head. "If I ever find out you've hurt Russel; And I WILL find out. I swear I will come back," Her eyes drilled into Hannah's "And I will make you suffer."
In the next second Raven was gone.
The interior doors of the TARDIS opened and Raven stormed in, hood up. The Doctor could sense the turmoil she was feeling, though that probably was something to do with Raven's powers flipping the door and the take off switch the moment she had entered the Police Box. She stomped off to her room without acknowledging the Doctor.
She returned to her room. Threw herself onto her bed, buried her head in her pillows and screamed at the gaping wound in her heart.
Raven raised her hand to knock, but hesitated. It had taken her ages to track him down. How many years had it been? Not many for her. She was frightened of what she might find.
Taking a deep breath, she rapped on the door four times. She saw movement through the doors windows and a short someone came to the door.
Raven felt like the eyes of a predator had latched onto her. There was a girl there. Maybe five or six years old with jet black hair.
"Um... I'm looking for Russel."
"Rae, what have I told you about answering the door on your own?" The kid vanished upwards as a man picked her up and put her down. "You go play now." The door was pulled open.
He had grown up. His beard was fuller and well groomed. His frame skinnier. He locked eyes with her.
"Raven." He said in acknowledgement.
"Russel." Raven didn't know what else to say.
"You've hardly changed." He said, smiling a little.
"You've changed a little too." She said. She thought he'd put on a little bit of extra height, but she put that down to him being inside the house. She'd forgotten why she'd even come here now. "You, still with Hannah?"
"Happily married for seven years now." Russel said. Some part of Raven didn't want Russel to be happy, but miserable to have dumped her for the walking pair of knockers.
"I'm happy for you." She said.
"You found someone else?"
"No," Raven said far too quickly. "Not yet. I... only have love for books, and even they dump me." She hadn't meant to speak that last part.
"I never dumped you." Russel said, "I waited."
"I know." Raven said. It was starting to feel awkward now. Time travel really messes everything up, she had to keep reminding herself he was too old for her now. "I..." She remembered. "I wanted to say sorry... sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to lose control. I... I'm not... I was never good with rejection. I'm still not."
A tiny head peaked out from around Russel's legs. The kid ducked back and ran into the living room.
"Rae?" Raven asked, "as in?"
"Rachel." Russel said, Raven felt both glad and disheartened. "Only joking. She's called Raven."
"You are so full of cheese." Raven's eyes lit up a little. Raven looked around at the house, the street, the car, the child. Is this what she could've had if she stayed?
"I've seen you on TV." Russel said, "You live in America, Jump City. You still travel through time and space?"
"No. I think those days are behind me now." Raven said.
"You're a hero." Russel said, "I pointed you out to our Raven. I think she admires you."
"Don't bullshit me." Raven said.
"Yeah, you got me." He laughed. "I did say I'd named her after someone important in my life."
"I... was important to you?" Raven asked meekly.
"You broke a curse that hung over my head for years." Russel said.
"You always liked to make things sound poetic." Raven said. "I'm sorry I left you waiting two years. I'm sorry, about how I acted. I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I couldn't say it."
"Say what?"
"Don't play games with me." Raven said. "I couldn't say it. I was too scared. I was scared if I did say it, it'd become real... and it'd hurt more."
"If I was hurting you, maybe it was..." Russel said.
"No, you weren't hurting me." Raven said hurriedly. "I was just messed up. I'd never felt that way about a boy before, and my history with boys never ends well. They either betray me, or try to kill me. Very few of them try to heal me."
Russel smiled. "Likewise."
Another moment of silence.
"I... I should get going. I've got to get back to the... umm... to do... umm..." Raven stumbled. "I just wanted to see if you were okay." 'And to see if Hannah treated you properly.' Raven thought.
"I'm glad to see you're doing so well." Russel said, "but Raven. Don't be scared because of a few bad experiences. If you want to do anything for me at all, then look for someone, find someone, and be happy."
Raven showed Russel a smile.
"I finally made you smile." Russel said.
"You always made me smile." Raven waved goodbye. Russel shut the door with a clunk of finality.
Raven turned and walked away, her face dropped.
"I cannot believe I just said that!" She cringed.
To Be Continued...
Authors notes: That wraps up this one.
Again, thanks for sticking with this story, I hope you all still enjoy it; and I promise the next venture is going to inject a lot of Doctor Who-ness into the crossover to make up for this little side-step. ;)
Merry Christmas
-TimeLordParadox
Updated 16/September/2022: Grammar and spelling updates.
Updated 14/March/2023: Restored the original ending I had in mind. The original was rubbish, and the replacement, though okay, always lacked something.
I don't mind admitting while writing this story I became love-sick. On some level I wanted to express that, which is why halfway through I really just wanted to give Raven a happier ending to the story. But it never felt right to me. I had wanted to bring Russel back in a Rory kind of sense, but re-reading the whole thing I decided it's better if he's just left as a one off character to restore Raven's faith in her magic. I feel pretty bad for Raven, but that is ultimately the pattern these series of adventures have. Raven cannot have nice things.
This also feeds into what's coming later.
The new additions also add to why Raven fell for Malchior. Russel wouldn't wait two years for her. Malchior said he waited a thousand years. He knew just what buttons to press to get Raven's attention.
I do believe Raven would be a pretty absent girl-friend. Being an introverted character she'd have to force herself out of her room just to hang out with her friends. Not to say that introverts can't make good girl/boy-friends, you understand. But in this early stage in Raven's life she probably doesn't understand that relationships, especially romantic ones, need maintenance. You can't disappear for years and come back without the other person even considering moving on. On some level, I think Raven arrogantly thought she had Russel for life, because he was an outcast and she thought no other girl but her would want him. So it stings her to find out that he was entirely open to finding someone else, and there was someone out there willing to be with him.