A/N: My biggest thanks to those who continue to make an effort to review - I really appreciate that :) Now, do we think maybe it's time that something actually happened with our Literati already? ;)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 12
"Any problems here?" Luke asked when he got back from the supplier, after a good five-minute rant about the issues he encountered there, of course.
"Nope, not a one." Jess shook his head.
"Good."
His uncle seemed pleased, for all of two seconds. When he tried to go towards the curtain to head upstairs and Jess got very decidedly in his way, the expression Luke wore was less than amused.
"What?" he checked, tilting his head as he stared at his nephew. "You just said there were no problems. 'Not a one,' those were your exact words."
"I know what I said." Jess tried not to squirm and was sure that he failed. "Could you maybe just not go up there for a while."
"Why? Come on, Jess, why should I not go up to my own apartment for a while? What am I gonna find? Oh God, who am I going to find?" he asked, dragging a hand over his face and looking just this side of horrified.
Jess knew he was going to have to get the next part out fast if he wanted to live.
"Rory is up there, but it's not what you think. She's studying."
Luke frowned all the harder when he heard that. "She's studying? Upstairs, in my apartment? Why?"
At least he looked confused by then, not panicked or outraged anymore. Jess supposed that was something. Not that he could exactly blame the guy for thinking something else might have been going on. Okay, so Jess was trying to be better, a little less hostile, a little more thoughtful and such, but he and Luke both knew what it was like with Jess and Rory when they were dating. It had been tough to keep their hands off each other sometimes. It wasn't exactly a stretch for Luke to think something like that might have happened today, Jess supposed, but no, he just wasn't that lucky.
"The girls in her dorm were all being a pain, and Lorelai and Sookie have taken over the house with God knows what for Emily Gilmore's high-class buffet to the stars or whatever."
"The launch of Richard's new business, but I get it," Luke corrected, rolling his eyes.
"Anyway," Jess continued, "Rory needed some place quiet but comfortable to get some studying done. She tried everywhere else, nothing was working. Down here would still be kind of distracting and, honestly, she was a little freaked out about facing you, so I said it'd be okay if she used the apartment for a while."
"Freaked out about facing me?" Luke asked then, making a face. "Oh, geez, not because of last weekend?"
"Exactly because of last weekend." Jess nodded. "She's not mad about it, Luke, she's just... embarrassed. Come on, it's not like you're not."
Luke sighed. "Yeah, I am. Not that I should be, nobody should be, it's just..."
"Yeah, trust me, I get it."
Jess really didn't want to be part of the conversation any more than Luke did. He knew all too well how the both of them were feeling. Growing up with Liz, being more than aware what she and her string of husbands, boyfriends, and one-night stands were up to in the next room, it was never fun, and then, later when he was older, knowing that his mother knew what he had been doing in his room too. Jess still shuddered to think about it. He absolutely saw this whole situation from both sides and all too easily.
"Okay, so I should go up and clear the air or something," said Luke then, eyes to the ceiling. "If I just say I'm sorry... well, not sorry, because I'm not. I mean, what happened happened and I don't regret that, but I am sorry that Rory came home when she did. No, that makes it sound like I'm mad at her for coming into her own house..."
"Luke?" Jess cut in before his uncle could start a ramble that either one of the Gilmore girls could have been proud of. "I was going to go up in a couple of minutes with fresh coffee and see if she was hungry or whatever. Maybe you could go instead?"
His uncle's mouth was open, as if he were going to try for another version of his apology, then it closed when he realised what Jess already knew. It wasn't necessary.
"Yeah, I guess that might work," he said with a smile, patting his nephew on the shoulder as he moved past him.
Grabbing the coffee pot, he headed upstairs and Jess watched him go. It would be good to have Rory and Luke back in a good place, but at the same time, he had to admit to being a little bummed not to get to go and up and check in with her again himself.
Of course, she did have a lot of studying to do and would probably still be there in a couple of hours. Jess could go up for a visit then, since she was bound to need another coffee or similar. In the meantime, there was work to do, and hopefully, Rory and Luke were mending fences, which didn't suck.
A knock on the door startled Rory from her snooping and she turned sharply, sighing with relief when she realised Jess was there.
"I thought you were Luke again," she admitted, taking her hand away from her chest where it had flown before. "Not that I'm scared of Luke, because obviously not," she explained, rolling her eyes. "I just... It was a little weird before."
"He told me." Jess nodded, coming over to the table and putting down a plate next to her books. "Last slice of cherry pie. Didn't think you'd wanna miss it."
"Good call," she told him with a smile, immediately feeling a blush rise in her cheeks when she recalled how she had come to tell Jess that cherry was her favourite kind of pie.
They had been in the apartment at the time, on the couch, kind of horizontal for the most part. Daring to glance up from the plate to Jess' face again, she realised he remembered too, so clearly.
"Um, thanks... for the pie," she told him, clearing her throat pretty hard. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing essentially in your room," she realised then, standing awkwardly within a couple of feet of Jess' bed.
"Music?" he guessed, clearly having seen her with her hand in his CD collection when he walked in, or just assuming that was what she had been doing, given her proximity.
"You did say I could..."
"Sure, it's no problem," he told her fast. "Find anything you like?"
"About a hundred things," she admitted, turning back to look some more. "That was actually the problem. I mean, usually people complain there aren't enough choices, but so often I have the opposite problem. Too much good stuff. It's a legitimate dilemma that I really don't think gets talked about enough and-"
She stopped abruptly, actually gasping with surprise, though she hadn't meant to, as Jess' hand appeared in the box near hers, making a selection of his own. He was so close behind her, she ought to have realised he was there, but she had no idea he had moved. Somehow, she was so concentrated on not thinking about him that she managed to not even notice when he was within inches of her back.
"I don't know how helpful it would be for your studying, I guess it depends on the subject..." he said, pulling out a CD and offering it to her.
"Always willing to give something different a try," Rory told him, swallowing hard as she took it from him. "Jess..."
"What?" he asked when she trailed off, looking at her in the same moment she looked at him.
This kept on happening. Circumstances where they ended up in close quarters. Times and places and moments where it would be so very easy to forget all the badness that had happened between them, just pretend it never existed, and kiss already.
It had been tough enough before they had gotten together. When Rory was still with Dean and constantly having to remind herself that nice girls with boyfriends don't fall for the bad boy. Now it might actually be worse, because there wasn't really anything stopping her from giving in at all. Except it would make her a fool, wouldn't it? Maybe that was true, but as time went on, Rory absolutely could not remember why.
She was pretty sure it was her that moved first, but honestly, in the end, she wouldn't be surprised if Jess had done his part too, and Rory couldn't blame him. This kiss had been a long time coming and it felt as good as she knew it would and then some. Just like she remembered and infinitely better, because she had been waiting. Dear God, she had been waiting. Of course, there were reasons why she had stopped herself from doing this before, and that thought struck her so sharply, she found herself pulling away very suddenly.
Rory's hand shot straight to her mouth and she stared across at Jess, with no idea what to say or do. The poor guy looked kind of shocked himself, and as if he wished the floor would open up and swallow him too.
"Rory... I'm sorry," he told her, shaking his head.
She did the same. "You don't have to be," she reassured him as much as she could. "It wasn't all you."
As she said it, she turned away, put a little distance between them, a table actually, which seemed like a smart idea. When Jess had offered her the chance to study in the apartment, he had told her it was just a friend thing. He wasn't trying anything, he just wanted to help her out. She believed him. Even now, she believed him. He hadn't planned this any more than she had, she was certain on that.
"I know it was both of us, but I was the one who said no strings..." he reminded her.
"There are always strings, Pinocchio." It came out like a reflex, one she immediately regretted when she saw the look on his face - as if she had struck him, hard. "Oh, it's something my mom said to me. I didn't mean..." She shook her head, scrambling for the right way to make it better and none came, but she really hadn't meant to imply he was lying at all. "Wow, just when you think things can't get any more awkward!"
It was such a stupid situation. She really should have known better than to get into this with him again. The last time had been such a disaster.
"We can just forget it ever happened, if you want. Is that what you want?"
It hurt to hear him say it, mostly because Rory could hear the pain in his voice. Jess didn't want to forget it happened. He may be really bad at saying what he felt sometimes, but she knew it was always more than he was willing to show the world. She couldn't let herself be the same way, not anymore, she just couldn't.
"Is that what you want? To forget it?" she asked, turning around to face him.
His eyes widened a little. "Is that a serious question?"
"Was yours?"
He winced and she was pretty sure she did too. After all, this was kind of a dumb, circular conversation they were getting into. One of them had to be bold, had to be stronger. One of them was going to have to admit that they actually wanted what they wanted, and damn the consequences.
"Rory, do you wanna get back together?" he asked her straight.
Apparently, it was Jess who was going to take control, which helped, in a way, because it meant that Rory didn't have to. Except that she did, because now he was asking her what she wanted. Did she want to get back together? She blinked hard, met his eyes and took a deep breath before she answered.
"Sometimes," she admitted, clearing her throat before she could go on. "I mean, sometimes I think about it and I really do want to, but other times..."
"You don't," he finished for her, nodding once, eyes dipping to the table where her hand now sat all of six inches along the surface from his own. "Hey, it's fine, I don't blame you. Things with us before were... not exactly healthy."
"Agreed... but we've come a long way since then, right?"
Rory made herself look up, was glad to see that he had done the same.
"I like to think so."
It did things to her when his voice got soft like that, when his eyes looked into hers with so much intensity, when she just knew he was thinking about kissing her and more, and she wanted nothing else but to give into the same feelings whipping up inside of her.
Throwing caution to the wind, Rory pushed forward, threw her arms around Jess' neck, fell into another epic kiss. It felt amazing, so good, almost too good, but she couldn't stop, she just couldn't. At least, not until she realised they had moved, that her legs just hit the edge of his bed and she was about to sink down. That was when the alarm went off in her head. 'Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!'
"No," she said fast, pulling herself away. "No, no, no," she intoned, slipping out around Jess and pacing back across the floor.
"Rory, I'm getting some seriously mixed signals here."
She knew he was right and she hated it. Poor Jess. She could blame him for a lot, but most of what happened in the last few minutes was entirely on her. Not that she initiated all of the kissing, but she certainly had encouraged it. That last part was all her own doing. Mixed signals, yes, she was good at those, but she ought to learn not to be, she knew that too.
"I know, and I'm sorry," she told him, pushing her hands back into her hair and holding it there a moment, while she searched for other, better words to say. "It's just that... well, this is what happened the last time," she said eventually, arms dropping helplessly to her sides as she turned to face Jess one more time. "We got along so well, we talked all the time, it was great, and then, we started this." She gestured between them. "You know, with the kissing and everything, and don't get me wrong, that's great, so great, but then we just stopped talking, about anything that mattered anyway, and that's on both of us. I'm not just blaming you, and of course, there were other factors, with me and, and Dean, and you not always being entirely open and honest, and... and it would just have to be different, if we did this again."
It was only after she said it that Rory realised exactly the words she had used and what their full meaning really was. If we did this again. She was offering Jess a chance. She was offering herself a chance too. A chance to do it all over again, this relationship that had meant so much to her, but that had wound up hurting her so badly by the end.
"Okay." Jess nodded his head, approaching her cautiously, almost as if she were a horse he was afraid of spooking. "It would have to be different, I get that. I'll be honest, I swear, and I'll talk more... or at least, I'll try," he said honestly, "and I mean, you're totally over Dean now, right?"
"Totally over." Rory agreed without pause, one part of this that she was one hundred percent certain about this go around. "So..."
"So...?" Jess echoed back, now standing right in front of her, looking so damn hopeful she could cry.
"I guess that means... we're trying this again?" she suggested. "The whole being together thing?"
If she had any doubts left at all, the smile on Jess' face when she said that put them all out of Rory's head.
"Sounds good to me," he said definitely, inching closer, reaching out for her hand.
She let him take it, let her fingers intertwine with his own. "Sounds really good to me," she admitted, sure her grin was as wide as his own, as she let him pull her in closer still.
This time, when he kissed her, and she kissed back, it felt okay to fall headfirst into the moment, because this time she was sure they were going to stick the landing. It was going to work this time around, the two of them, she and Jess really were going to make sure of it.
To Be Continued...