-April 20, 1820-
The dance was fast, and that wasn't the only thing making Pen feel a bit breathless.
Lord Petri was a good dancer, moving easily with her through the complex steps, which involved many spins for the woman in her partner's arms.
Even through her gown, corset and other layers, Pen could feel the warm touch of his large hands. They glided against her waist, her back, and sometimes almost at her hips. Combined with his appreciative smiles, and the way his gaze often lingered on the neckline of her gown, even Pen could read the signs. He wanted her, as a man wants a woman.
Instead of feeling uncomfortable or scared by this, Pen felt intrigued. It was a very surprising feeling, a fascinating one.
Lord Petri had been discrete about it, doing nothing beyond the boundaries of polite society. He had done it enough that she noticed it, but anyone else wouldn't, unless they were watching her extremely closely.
She curtsied to him when the dance ended. "Thank you, Lord Petri. You dance very well."
He took her gloved hand, kissing the back of it, his eyes warmly intent on hers. "The pleasure was all mine. I hope we may dance together again soon, Lady Debling."
She was likely a little flushed as she walked away, heading over to get a cool drink. As she sipped it, she let her imagination run with potential scenarios.
What if he drew her out on to the balcony, or the gardens? Would he try to kiss her? Touch her? Or what if he called on her in her home? Would he try to get her alone? Try to become her lover?
He wasn't really trying to charm her, flirt with her, as other would-be suitors did. She didn't think marriage was his goal. So, he just wanted to seduce her?
The thought was shocking, but somehow tantalizing as well. Was it just Lord Petri, or could she feel similarly with other men?
"Good evening, Pen," a voice nearby jarred her out of her naughty thoughts.
"Oh, Colin, it's you," Pen said, trying to appear normal. She felt a bit warm all over, and not just out of embarrassment.
Colin chuckled, peering at her closer. "You were really pondering something, weren't you? Anything exciting happen tonight?"
Pen almost choked on the lemonade she was sipping.
Jumping into helper mode, Colin took the glass away, and gently patted her on the back. "Are you alright?"
Shaking her head, Pen took a step away, out of the range of his hands. "Just swallowed the wrong way. I'm fine now."
"Would you like a moment outside to cool down? You look rather flushed," Colin offered, concern still on his face.
"Lady Debling," Lord Lumley said, giving her a little bow. "I believe it's time for our dance."
Pen had forgotten that she had a few names on her dance card. Shooting Colin an apologetic glance, she excused herself and allowed Lumley to take her hand.
"You look particularly lovely tonight, Lady Debling," Lumley commented, as they began to dance. "In fact, there is something about you that reminds me of Boudica."
That comment got a surprised laugh out of Pen, which she tried to keep quiet. A few looks were sent her way. "The red hair, I can understand, but surely not my height."
Lumley chuckled along with her. "Stories about her also often mentioned a fierce look in her eyes."
"Perhaps facing the marriage mart has some similarities to fighting Roman armies," Pen replied dryly, quite amused by this conversation.
This was the most enjoyable part of her return to London, and the social season. As a woman in her mid-twenties, she was much more self-assured, and more comfortable keeping up her side of a conversation. She could be herself, and was really getting to know the men who came forward to dance with her, or call on her in her home.
After the dance, she went to find Eloise, and pulled her out into the garden. They sat on a bench to chat, and she mentioned that Lumley comparing her to Boudica, and they shared a good laugh.
"Aren't you getting tired of it, though? I find the whole thing exhausting," Eloise sighed, kicking off her tight slippers and wiggling her toes within her silk stockings with an exaggerated moan of relief.
Pen shrugged a shoulder. "It's much easier as an independent, older woman. I'm not being pressured to marry by anyone, so I can just enjoy socializing with the people."
"But the 'eligible' men are just awful," Eloise groaned. "I've spoken or danced with most of them at some time or other over the years."
"I've begun to categorize them in my mind," Pen confided. "There are those who seek me out because they really want a practical match. They need to marry, and my modest financial state is appealing enough to them. So, it's either men in a slightly bad financial situation, like Ambrose, or second and third sons from less wealthy families."
"My brothers are lucky," Eloise agreed. "They have their freedom and financial security."
"You know I have no interest in that type of marriage, so I try to avoid those men. I will dance and chat with them, but don't really encourage them," Pen said.
"That probably eliminates most men then. Who is left?"
Pen sighed. "The remaining men are harder to categorize. They aren't as desperate to marry, and don't show why they are seeking me out as clearly. Some are looking for a love match, and some are rakes."
Eloise sat up straighter in surprise, gawping at her friend. "Some of the men you are dancing with, or whatever, have asked you for … that?"
"What are you two chatting about so intently out here?" Colin asked, strolling towards them.
Pen blushed, glad they were outside where the lighting wasn't that bright, and it wouldn't be noticeable. How much had he heard of their conversation?
Eloise was rarely one to keep things to herself around her family though. "A rather fascinating development. Pen is being pursued by some rakes!"
"What!" Colin looked between them, shock clearly showing in his expression. "You should tell me who. You don't have any male relatives around to defend against such insults."
Pen chuckled. "Calm down, you two. There hasn't been anything too shocking happening. I'm in no danger."
It wasn't a conversation she wanted to continue, so she excused herself, leaving them there as she returned to the ball.
Colin and Eloise eventually returned as well. It was disconcerting, as they were both watching her with her dance partners much more than before. They were obviously going to defend her against this perceived threat from now on.
Pen sighed, twirling in her partner's arms. Sometimes she missed being a wallflower, with nobody bothering with her at all.
….
"So, remember when you asked what type of widow I was?" Pen sat down on an upholstered chair, and put her sore feet up on a nearby stool.
Genevieve had just finished opening the bottle of white wine Pen had given her, and almost dropped it on it's side. She looked up at her friend with a smirk. "Yes, a few months ago. Do you know the answer now?"
Pen chuckled, glad she had thought to stop by. Genevieve was more experienced with men than Eloise, and could hopefully give good advice. "What type is Lady Arnold?"
Genevieve chuckled, passing her a glass of wine, and holding her's up so they could clink them together. "A merry one?"
Pen took a sip. "I was considering… um… being more like her."
"Every woman deserves to be merry. Do you have a certain man in mind?" Genevieve crossed her legs, getting comfortable for what was turning out to be a very interesting conversation.
That was a good question. "Hmmmm… let's just say a few have expressed interest. Likely mostly due to the way you design the necklines of my gowns."
Genevieve bowed her head. "I simply do my best to highlight your natural assets."
Pen chuckled, the wine already going to her head. "I would say you are more worldly than I am in this. How do you choose the right man?"
The modiste tapped a finger against her chin, pondering the question. "Hmmm… attractive. Trustworthy, so you feel safe. Discrete, not going to boast to his friends afterwards."
Thinking over the men she had been dancing with in the last month, Pen had many that wouldn't make it to her short list based on that criteria.
"A good dancer…"
That made Pen burst out laughing. She hadn't expected that. "So you find them attractive?"
Genevieve shook her head a little, and gave a knowing smile. "So he has good rhythm."
Pen chuckled, but had to agree that was essential.
"Mmmmm, and most importantly, is he a good kisser?" Genevieve sighed, seemingly remembering some men who had made her very happy in the past.
Pen finished off her wine, and Genevieve quickly refilled it. "So, I should just invite men for a stroll in the garden, and test out their kissing abilities?"
The modiste shrugged a shoulder. "Why not? Surely you can recall how many got caught doing just that from your Whistledown days."
Pen couldn't argue with that. Almost every edition had rumours about some couple or other being seen in a compromising position. How many couples were doing the same things, but not caught?
It was a bit scary, but mostly exciting.
By the time the bottle of wine was done, Pen had a lot more information.
Genevieve's French accent was even more exaggerated since she was tipsy. "Go, ma cherie, and find yourself a fabulous lover. One who makes being bad feel so, so good."
…
-A/N: Fun historical notes, totally optional to read.
-Boudica: "A queen of the ancient British Iceni tribe, who led a failed uprising against the conquering forces of the Roman Empire in AD 60 or 61. She is considered a British national heroine and a symbol of the struggle for justice and independence." (Wikipedia). In all, an estimated 70,000–80,000 Romans and Britons were killed by Boudica's armies. She is believed to have been very tall, with long, auburn hair. Stories report she was frightening, with a fierce look in her eye and a harsh, stern voice.
-The Merry Widow: This is an operetta from 1905 by the Austro-Hungarian composer Franz Lehár. The story was from a 1861 comedy play, L'attaché d'ambassade (The Embassy Attaché) by Henri Meilhac. The plot is that a Count must woo & wed a young, rich widow in order to save a kingdom from bankruptcy. The operetta was very popular, got translated into other languages, and ran in many countries. There are several film versions, including a musical one from 1952, starring the "luscious, lovely" Lana Turner in the title role. The film is set in 1899, and she wore a corset in a scene. The Warner's lingerie company had a marketing tie-in to the film, releasing a corset style in 1953 called the Merry Widow. It is usually strapless, stops on the hips, and still called by that name, 70 years later. (Source: Wikipedia). This is quite a tangent of fairly useless info. lol