Please leave thoughts/comments if you read! And thank you to those of you who followed/favorited this story. I really appreciate your support and hope you continue to enjoy!

I intend to capture MJ's personality and thoughts throughout the entire Spider-Man story and hope it works out the way I want it to. There'll be a lot of focus on things going on in her own life as she tries to become successful as an actress and the events happening in the Spider-Man movies will be sort of shadowy from her own perspective as she really doesn't know what's going on yet. She's got all the information, just not the link between. But she's going to be slowly realizing it. Let me know what you think!

May 24, 2001

Finally found an apartment I can afford. It's not the greatest, but it's in New York and close to Broadway. Can't wait! I'll be moving in this weekend. I found a job at a crummy little diner too. Called Moondance. It's a trashy sort of place, but it'll hold me over until I can… what did Peter say? Light up Broadway. I smile every time I remember that. Who knows? Maybe it'll happen.

May 30, 2001

I got… homesick today. Well, not exactly homesick, since I don't miss being around Dad. I do miss Mom. And I call her every day. But out of a clear blue sky, I suddenly realized how much I miss Peter. I guess I just got so used to him always being there. His window just across from mine. And now he's not always there. I just needed to see him. Talk to him. I called Aunt May and got his address from her. But when I showed up, Peter wasn't there. Just Harry. And wow, have they got a nice apartment! I suppose Harry's paying for it all.

I was a little disappointed at first, but Harry and I talked for a while and funny how he seemed to understand me even better than I understand myself. He's even nicer than I ever thought he was… doesn't act like a millionaire's son. Not completely. He treats me like his equal. He took me out to dinner… at one of the fanciest places in Manhattan. Suppose I was star-struck. It was a fabulous evening. I felt like Cinderella.

I'm completely convinced that breaking up with Flash is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I like Harry. Really like him. I'm hoping he asks me out again.

But I still miss Peter.

June 2, 2001

Well, what do you know? Just how strange can life get? I've seen a lot of weird things on the news, but this one just about beats them all. I met up with Emma today and we were hanging out when Harry invited me over for pizza and tv. Emma went with me. Peter was there and it was so good to see him again.

Anyway, the strange thing. Seems like there's a new guy in town. Somebody that they call… Spider-Man. How weird is that? There was a special about him on tv tonight and we watched the whole thing. No one's really gotten a clear picture of him so I haven't a clue what he looks like. Still not sure if he's even real or just some kind of prank. In the footage they showed, he was just a red and blue blur. They say he shoots webs out of his wrists, climbs the sides of buildings, and can lift a car with his bare hands. He's left enormous spider webs all over the city, but they dissolve after a few hours. Doesn't seem like there is much solid evidence to go on. I don't know if I believe it.

Harry seems to find all of this pretty amusing. And Emma is totally swooning over the guy. Peter is the only one of us that was serious about him. Says he just seems like someone who wants to help people. And if the reports are true, he's doing just that. Stopped armed robberies, assaults, and kidnappings all over the city. He even leaves behind notes that say "Courtesy of your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man." I've seen some of the notes but… you know… anyone could have written those. I don't know. Maybe he is real. That would be amazing. I'd like to think that there really is such a thing as a real hero in the world. Hope I meet him someday.

Oh, by the way… Harry and I are going steady. The ring he gave me is so much prettier than the one Flash gave me. And it feels better on my hand. I was a little hesitant to accept his offer, but I got to thinking. He's the first person (other than Peter) who really and truly seems to care about me and not my looks or anything like that. He treats me like high society. And he's sweet and funny. And… I've got to face it… I'm lonely. And since no one else has shown interest, I might as well be with Harry. Sometimes I think though… if Peter had shown interest… but he hasn't. And so there's no point in thinking about it.

I've gotten a part in a little Saturday afternoon matinee. Isn't Broadway, but it's a start! Aside from the fact that I live in a crummy apartment and work as a waitress in a creepy little cafe, I'm really happy right now. Things may just be starting to look up!

June 4, 2001

Summer is beginning! The sun is shining and the air is warm. Beautiful! And I saw something interesting in the paper this morning. A picture of Spider-Man. I've pasted it below. I can't believe it… but it really looks like he is real! Real, in a mystical, fantastic sort of way. He wears a skin-tight red and blue costume that covers every inch of him so it's practically impossible to tell who he is. You can't even see his eyes… the mask has silver-white eyepieces in it and it looks almost kind of spooky. And guess who's taken the picture. Peter Parker, of all people! Looks like things are looking up for him too! He's got a freelancing position with the Daily Bugle, if he can get pictures of Spider-Man. I don't know how he does it, but he's gotten some fabulous close-up shots. How did he even get to know this guy in the first place? There's something about Peter that I don't understand. He's an interesting person for sure.

June 21, 2001

Harry and I went out for dinner again tonight. He's invited me to the World Unity festival. I didn't realize it was hosted by his father's company, Oscorp. I've been going to the festival since I can remember. It always fascinated me… all those people in colorful folk costume from cultures all over the world, floats and balloons, fireworks and Chinese lanterns. Truly an amazing and beautiful spectacle. Naturally wanting to go in cultural costume, I've started working on a dress for the festival. Mom gave me a fabulous red silk years ago out of the odds and ends she had lying around… this would be the perfect time to do it. I plan to make it up in a Chinese pattern… it's called a cheongsam and I've always loved that style. It shouldn't take me long to make and I'll do my hair up with chopsticks. Can't wait!

Peter told me he'll be there too, taking pictures. I guess his job is keeping him pretty busy. This afternoon was the first I've seen him in weeks. I met him outside the diner. Guess I was ashamed… I told him I was going to an audition. But I wasn't. Since the matinee ended two weeks ago, I haven't been able to get another role. I wouldn't tell Harry that I work at the Moondance for the world. But Peter found it out pretty fast and I didn't even care. He's not one to look down on me for holding a pathetic job. He told me it's nothing to be embarrassed about. And he promised not to tell Harry. Out of all the friends I've ever had, he really is the sweetest and the most supportive. My best friend, really, when I think about it. Just wish he was around more. He's always so busy.

June 24, 2001

My life is too ridiculous for words. You, diary, even though you're nothing but a pile of papers, wouldn't believe what happened to me today. Suffice it to say that I am now a firm believer in Spider-Man. Remember back when I wished I could meet him? Well, I did.

The World Unity festival was today. It was beautiful, as always, but it suddenly and without warning turned into a living nightmare. Like a freak horror movie that suddenly has come to life. Yeah, that's a poor cliche. I just don't know how else to describe it. I almost died today.

It started out amazing. I was up on the balcony of the Oscorp building with Harry and all kinds of important representatives from all over the world. I got chills just thinking about it. Me… Mary Jane Watson… up there with some of the most important people in New York. And Harry told me I was beautiful. Even though he told me I should have worn black instead, since it's his father's favorite color. Whatever. His father should like me just as I am, or else his good opinion isn't worth the having. And I worked hard on this dress. And then something seemed to come over me. I don't know why. He tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him. And then I saw Peter down on the ground, looking up at us. And I felt… suddenly empty inside. But I didn't even have time to think about it.

Speaking of Harry's father, he never even showed up… to his own festival. I guess it's a good thing though, since he probably would have died, had he been there.

There's another new guy in town now. A freaky monster that they're calling the Green Goblin. He came swooping down into the festival on some kind of flying machine and just started throwing bombs everywhere and ripping things to shreds. He actually vaporised a bunch of the officials from Oscorp. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life. Harry and I were up on a balcony and it actually started falling off the building. He was still on the part of the balcony that wasn't falling, but he tried to get to me and got hit on the head and knocked unconscious. Next thing I knew, I was looking into the most hideous face I've ever seen. It looked like a demon. I know I was screaming like a banshee and trying desperately to hold on.

That's when I heard the crowd screaming about Spider-Man and saw him… actually saw him… swinging down at this goblin freak and knocking him off his glider. It was a crazy sort of chase, with the goblin exploding things and Spider-Man swinging people out of the way. He must have saved countless lives in those few minutes. He's just… magnificent. He moves with this sort of acrobatic grace, unlike anything I've ever seen before. It's hard to believe that there's a real man underneath that mask. At least, I assume there is. He must be pretty incredible in real life too.

I could see everything from where I was and just screamed louder, hoping that Spider-Man would hear me. And he did, but he could hardly get to me. The goblin actually threw him through the side of the building. Then I fell. It was the most terrifying five seconds of my entire life and it seemed to last forever. I just kept falling and falling and falling… and I couldn't think. And suddenly, I stopped falling. And I didn't hit the ground. Spider-Man had actually snatched me right out of the air, just a split second before I would have splattered all over the pavement. When I think about it, I almost remember him saying my name, just before he caught me. I wonder how he could have known who I am?

He swung me up again and we went flying over the city. It was unbelievable. He actually was shooting spider-webs out of his wrists and they would attach to the tops of buildings. A little creepy, but amazing. He would swing as far as he could on one, then shoot another. We must have covered about five blocks in only a few seconds. I almost wish it could have gone on forever. I've never felt so completely safe.

He set me down in a rooftop garden, saying it sure beats taking the subway. I'll say! I asked him who he was and he said, "You know who I am." I'm sure my heart skipped a beat. And at that moment, his voice somehow sounded familiar. I'm not sure why. Probably just my imagination. It was muffled anyway. I thought he was going to tell me who he was, but he just added "Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!" and then he swung off, whooping like Tarzan.

He's incredible.

June 25, 2001

Guess what headline I saw in the paper today? "SPIDER-MAN AND GREEN GOBLIN ATTACK CITY". Oh, for heaven's sake. The idiot reporter who wrote that pathetic story hasn't got eyes in his head. The goblin was destroying everything. And Spider-Man was saving life after life. Beating the tar out of that spooky green monster. Whatever. Leave it up to the media to turn a hero into a villain. At least I know the truth.

I can't believe he's real!

July 4, 2001

It's Independence Day! Harry took me to the parade on Main Street this morning. Spider-Man actually showed up in the parade, swinging over top of it on the buildings. The crowd went absolutely wild. But he was gone in a minute. I don't know if he was actually there for the parade, or if he just was passing through on his way to save a life or stop a crime.

Peter joined us for the fireworks tonight. He was supposed to meet us for the parade this morning, but he never actually showed up. Said something came up. He does that a lot, actually, just disappears, or comes late, or never comes at all.

The fireworks were amazing. And something even more amazing happened. We were pretty close to the grandstand tonight. The girl who was supposed to sing the national anthem had to call off and they asked for a volunteer, last minute. I volunteered and I actually got. To. Sing. The. National. Anthem. For the Manhattan fireworks show! When I got done and climbed down, I was instantly mobbed by both Peter and Harry at once. They were maybe even more excited than I was. Peter had one of those little American flags… he stuck it in my hair and said I should try for Miss America. I would never reach that high… but I'm gonna remember that. And I'm keeping that flag forever. Sometimes, somehow… Peter sets my heart to racing. In a way that no one ever has before. I don't really understand it. It's a strange feeling, like nothing I've ever felt before.

July 27, 2001

I guess I'm sort of friends with Spider-Man now. I saw him today… standing on the side of a building. Literally standing on the side of a building. Sideways. It was incredible. And he actually waved at me, which was even more incredible. I love to think that I have a sort of connection with him, no matter how small.

July 28, 2001

Building on what happened yesterday, I saw Spider-Man's picture in the newspaper this morning (as I usually do), but this one was extra special. It showed him standing sideways on the building exactly where I saw him yesterday… and I was in the background. Granted, there were others around me, but I was definitely there. I can't believe it! I've stuck the picture below, so I can keep it always. Funny though, I didn't see Peter anywhere around when I was there yesterday. And I know he took the picture, his name is on it. I guess he must take pictures from obscure angles.

August 1, 2001

Spider-Man is in the news again. I mean, he always is, but there was a bigger story today than there has been in a while. He saved a baby's life last night in a fire. The fire department had already given up. The police tried to arrest him, apparently, but he didn't let them. They can try all they want, they'll never get him. I don't know what's wrong with everyone. He saves lives. He's a hero. Anyone who says differently is a complete idiot.

August 5, 2001

My life's settled down into the typical daily grind. There hasn't been much worth writing about. Except Spider-Man, of course. I think I'm in love with the guy. I am absolutely floating on air tonight. What happened today, I'll never forget, not as long as I Iive. I'm chalking this up as one of the best days of my life. But it didn't start out that way.

I had an audition today for a soap opera. Not my ideal, but, hey! It was something. And they told me I needed acting lessons and showed me the door. Don't think I've ever been so… so… depressed. Sometimes my dream seems so distant and unreachable I'm tempted to forget I ever had it. But at other times I feel determined to succeed and I will do everything I can to reach those distant stars. Funny how Peter Parker can make me feel that way.

Because he was the start of my day starting to turn around. I had just been visiting Mom (I forgot to mention that Dad moved out a month or so ago. But it doesn't matter. I'm just glad that Mom doesn't have to put up with his drunken fits anymore. I will NEVER marry a man who drinks.) Anyway, Peter showed up out of nowhere. It's been weeks again and I was so glad to see him. He told me he just happened to be in the neighborhood and needed to see a friendly face. And then he admitted that he took two buses and a cab to get into the neighborhood. It was flattering to think he went to all that trouble just to see me. At times I wonder… but he's never said anything. Never really shown any real interest.

When I told him how the audition went, he didn't even try to say anything about it. Which was probably the best thing he could have done. He just asked me if I wanted a cheeseburger. "The sky's the limit, up to $7.84," he told me. And I suddenly desperately wished I hadn't set a dinner date with Harry. I really, honestly would have loved to just hang out with Peter and have a cheeseburger. I asked him to come with us, but he bowed out. I wish we could just be like old times again. The three of us… just friends again… laughing and having fun.

It was starting to rain. I took off on foot, through the alley, which was really, really dumb. And the next thing I knew, I was being chased by not one, not two, but four thugs. They pinned me up against the wall and were tearing at my coat. I tried to fight them off, but what chance does a 110 pound girl have against four grown men? Thought I was going to be raped and killed right there in the alley. And suddenly, all four of them were yanked backwards at the same time and thrown to the ground. I couldn't believe it. It was Spider-Man again. In less than a minute, he beat the tar out of them and they ran away with their rat tails tucked between their legs. And the last one, he picked up and dangled him in the air, then just dropped him like a sack of potatoes.

It was really dark out, but I could see that he wasn't wearing his mask and for one moment, I was so excited. Thought I'd actually be able to see him. But he spun away and disappeared before I could get close enough to see his face. And one moment later, he was hanging upside-down from a building, his mask on again, his face just level with mine. How on earth he could handle dangling upside-down like that, and in the pouring rain, I don't know. He told me I had a knack for getting into trouble. Ha. Guess I do. But he has a knack for saving my life. He's amazing. I don't know how he manages to show up just when I'm in trouble. Guess I have a superhero stalker.

What happened next, I don't know if I can find the words to describe it. But even without this diary, I know I'd never forget it. I don't even know what on earth got into me. But I pulled his mask halfway down and kissed him.

I've never been kissed like that before. It was unbelievable. I know, I say that a lot. But what else can I say? I wanted that moment to last forever. I could hardly bear to take my lips from his. It was like for that one moment in time, my life was perfectly complete. I've never felt that way before. I could feel just one overwhelming thrill from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. And I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that whoever this man behind the mask is, he and I were meant to be. But then I pulled his mask up again and he was gone. There is no way I could ever know who he is, no way I could ever even find him, except by chance. So what I felt doesn't matter. It's impossible. But still… I'm glad it happened.

He's amazing.

August 7, 2001

Harry took me out to dinner tonight. We've been going out at least once, if not twice a week. He always takes me to these really fancy places… they're pretty neat but sometimes I feel a bit out of place. I'm tired of being poor, tired of working at that crummy little diner, tired of being treated like dirt every day at work, tired of doing audition after audition and being told what a poor actress I am. Man, I'm just plain worn out. Literally the only really good thing that's happened to me in months is… kissing Spider-Man.

I've enjoyed spending time with Harry. I really have. But speaking of feeling out of place, I'm really starting to feel like I don't fit in with him. He's always worried about what his dad's going to think. I mean constantly. It's gotten to where I'm terrified at the thought of meeting him. We've decided that I'll be introduced to him on Thanksgiving, partly because the guy is so incredibly busy, and partly because Harry himself is terrified at the thought of him meeting me. (Though he didn't say so, in so many words. I just know he is.) We'll be having Thanksgiving supper at Peter and Harry's. Aunt May will be there too.

Speaking of Aunt May, I've been spending some time with her lately. She's just the sweetest old lady ever. It seems a long time since those days in elementary school when I'd stop by with Peter after school and together we'd eat at least a dozen of her cookies. She asked me to call her Aunt May years ago, instead of Mrs. Parker. Now, I see her every time I go home to visit Mom and last time, she asked us both over for tea. Her cookies are the most unbelievable cookies ever. Some that just melt in your mouth like butter, and others full of chocolate chips. I ate way more than was good for me and she sent an entire tin home with me. I'm just finishing up the last ones now. (Which, of course, explains the chocolate stains on this page.)

Look how I've been rambling on. I don't make much sense, do I? I've got another audition tomorrow, so guess I'd better be practicing on the script they sent me. Praying that I'll somehow make it. I've been trying so hard!

September 6, 2001

Had a bad day at work. A really, really bad day. Some jerk kept bothering me and I got fed up and dumped coffee on his lap. Yeah, I know that was dumb. But I got tired of being taken advantage of. It happens a lot. And I got fired. It was just sort of the last straw. I don't care anything about the stupid job, it's just the being screamed at and treated like garbage. I went out and cried in the alley. And Peter just showed up out of nowhere. I've hardly ever been gladder to see him. (Is gladder even a word?) But anyway, he just has a way of making me feel better. Like no matter what happens, it's going to be alright. Funny how I feel so completely safe with him. As safe as I felt… when Spider-Man saved my life.

Anyway, I finally took him up on that cheeseburger, since I didn't have anything set up with Harry tonight. Even if I had, I'd probably have canceled. I just don't think he'd understand. Like Peter says, "he doesn't live on a little place I like to call earth." Between the two of us, we had enough for three cheeseburgers, two cokes, and a large fries. I was so hungry… and no cheeseburger has ever tasted that good. We split the fries and the third cheeseburger. Not terribly classy, but I don't even care.

We stayed and talked and laughed until nearly ten o'clock. It felt so good to just hang out and have fun… like being in highschool again. I wish we could have stayed later. There was some kind of accident out on the next block and as soon as we heard the sirens, Peter just sort of jumped up and said we'd better go. I guess he has a big day tomorrow or something because he didn't even walk me home. And I had really hoped he would. We said goodbye at the door of the restaurant and he hurried off really fast.

I really think that Peter's afraid of stepping in between me and Harry… he seems to veer off in another direction whenever Harry comes up in the conversation. I wish we could get all three of us together again, like our old study nights back in highschool. Funny how highschool seems a lifetime ago already. I guess I'll just have to wait until Thanksgiving. Hope everything goes well… hope Harry's dad likes me.

MJ shook her head, frowning. What could possibly be wrong with her? Did she really hit her head that hard? Why didn't she remember this? The dates with Harry, being fired at work, all that was clear as a bell. But the kiss with Spider-Man had completely left her mind… as if it had never happened. Although she remembered well that he had saved her life that night. And she had said she would never forget that kiss… Neither did she remember going out with Peter that night. Shaking her head again, as if to clear the fog from her memory, she returned to her reading… almost desperately… like one starved.

But what came next, she remembered well. No one could ever forget it. It was one of the worst times, not in her life, but in the history of the world.