Whyyyyy don't I have any reviews? Is it that bad? Ugh. Seriously, please. I know people are reading this. I see your views. Please, if you have any thoughts/comments/critique, anything while you're reading, drop me a line or two. Even a word or two. I'm pouring my heart and soul into this book and I'd absolutely LOVE to know what y'all are thinking! Reviews are like the fuel that keep me going. Let me know if you enjoy the story!

And I promise it's going to get more interesting. The next chapter is all about Peter. Not in MJ's diary, but in the current time of the story. And I'm bringing in a villain too, one that wasn't used in the Raimi films. Fingers crossed, hope I write this right! Let me know if you have any thoughts/ideas!

And thank you SOOO much for the faves and follows! I really, seriously appreciate that, guys. Glad to know that I have some support!

November 20, 2001

Harry and I went to the mall today. I think it was the most fun we've ever had. Shared some Chinese and it turns out we're both obsessed with crab rangoons. I think we went through a dozen, then had to go back a few hours later and get another dozen. We rode the carousel too. I guess we acted like a couple of crazy kids. He took me to the fanciest department store in the entire mall and helped me pick out a dress for Thanksgiving supper. Black, to impress his father. While I don't really care whether or not Norman Osborne likes the color of my dress, it is a pretty dress. Harry says I look beautiful in it. We found a red striped tie for him. Personally, I think he should wear black too. But he says he's going to wear his blue suit. We're gonna clash. Oh well…

It really was sweet of Harry to buy me that dress. It's one of the most expensive things I've ever owned. I sure hope he doesn't think I like him for his money, though.

November 28, 2001

Just got back from Peter and Harry's for Thanksgiving supper. It was… a complete and total disaster. No, I didn't actually stay for supper. I feel like just throwing myself face-down on the bed and howling. But I have a feeling that wouldn't actually fix anything.

Aunt May and I were cooking all day and Harry was hanging around getting his fingers into everything. Trying to be helpful, but just getting in the way. If tonight hadn't happened, I'd have said it was adorable. But right now I'm too mad to care. He was totally freaking out, actually. I've always felt somewhere, in the back of my mind, that he's been ashamed of me. Now I know he is.

Harry's father showed up and he seemed decently civil. Even called me a "lovely young lady" and said he'd been looking forward to meeting me. But something felt weirdly uncomfortable. It was almost kind of creepy. I know… I'm probably overly tired. And upset.

Peter showed up late. At one point, there was some kind of thump upstairs and everyone thought he was already there, so they all rushed up to his room. But he wasn't there and he showed up at the front door a few minutes later. Felt like everyone was kind of edgy. Like there was some weird kind of tension in the room. Especially between Peter and Norman, though I can't imagine why.

Then it got really strange. Aunt May noticed that Peter's arm was bleeding. He said that he collided with a bike messenger. But Norman got all weird about it. And then he just jumped up and said that he had to go. Said that something had come to his attention. Harry rushed out after him and I could hear everything they were saying. His dad said that I was just after his money. Compared me to a snarling, ravening wolf. And he made a horrible insinuation. And guess what Harry said? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Then he came back in and got all mad at me. Me! Chewed me out. I just walked out. I'm done with him. Completely done. I've had the worst luck in boyfriends. Absolutely the worst. I hate my life.

November 29, 2001

I wish someone could tell me what on earth's going on here. Aunt May got attacked last night. By the Green Goblin, no less. She's in the hospital now. I just about freaked out when Mom called and told me. She's the one that found Aunt May, having heard her screams last night and the breaking glass and crashing from the Goblin literally flying into the side of her house. This is getting insane. What on earth would he want with a sweet old lady who's got nothing and never done a single thing to bother anyone?

I got over to the hospital as soon as I found out. Peter said she's going to be okay. I guess she's not hurt, just in shock. She's been sleeping all day. Thank the Lord she's alright! But I still wish Spider-Man had shown up and beaten the tar out of that monster.

Peter asked about me and Harry. Truth is, he called and I didn't answer. I don't want to talk to him after what he said to me last night. And anyway, I… it was crazy… but I told Peter I was in love with someone else. It's just a silly dream, really. A fairy-tale kind of thing. But I've thought about it ever since I kissed him in the alley. I do… I really do think I'm in love with Spider-Man. Or at least, I did. I thought so this morning. Tonight, I'm thinking something else. Anyway, Peter said he understands. Said that Spider-Man is "extremely cool". And then… he said that Spider-Man actually asked about me. Asked Peter what he thought about me. I'm not kidding, my heart skipped a beat when he said that. I asked Peter what he told him… and I'm going to write it all down as closely as I can remember it. I've never heard anyone say anything so beautiful as what Peter told me.

"The great thing about MJ is when you look in her eyes and she's looking back in yours, everything feels not quite normal. Because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time. You feel excited and at the same time, terrified. The truth is, you don't know what you feel except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable and you weren't ready for it."

I took his hand when he said that and held it tight. And there was something in his eyes that made my heart beat faster than it ever has before. It was like a rush of feeling I've never felt before. Like my heart was soaring into the clouds. What Peter said… that actually describes exactly how I'm feeling. As if I've reached the unreachable and I wasn't ready for it. And when I met his eyes… my mind is a total rollercoaster. I need to

The entry ended abruptly with a smear of ink. The page was crumpled and MJ smoothed it grimly, wondering what horrors the next entry could possibly hold. But it frightened her more than anything ever had, all her life, for she didn't remember one word of it. Not one. Single. Word.

November 30, 2001

Wow. Did I say my life was crazy? What a terrible night I had. Did I mention that my life was ridiculous? I need a vacation. A looong vacation. All that disaster with the terrorist attacks and now I personally get attacked. Seriously. My life changed last night.

I got kidnapped by the Green Goblin.

I'm not kidding.

I don't even know what happened. I had just gotten ready for bed and was writing in my diary when I heard Peter's voice on the answering machine in the other room. I went to go pick up, but I smelled something funny and the room started spinning in circles and there were stars everywhere. I guess I was drugged. My legs felt like they were made of jelly and I collapsed on the floor. The last thing I remember is hearing Peter say "Don't walk down any dark alleys." He sounded… worried.

And the next thing I knew, I was waking up on the top of one of the towers of the Queensboro Bridge. And the Goblin was there. Cackling like a demon-possessed maniac. Which he is, actually. I just about died when I saw him. Spider-Man was there almost immediately. I guess it was a trap… using me for bait. Goblin had his hand around my neck like he was going to strangle me and was dangling me about three hundred feet over the ground. And on the other side, he was holding a tram car full of kids. Over the river. Then he said the craziest thing.

"This is why only fools are heroes. Because you never know when some lunatic will come along with a sadistic choice. Let die the woman you love… or suffer the little children."

"The woman you love…?!" Okay. What did he mean by that? Is… Spider-Man seriously in love with me? That is crazy. I mean… if he was… wouldn't he at least tell me his name? Or let me see his face? But I suppose that doesn't even matter now…

This monster was seriously going to make Spider-Man choose between me and those kids. I was too terrified to even think straight. I was just hoping he'd get me away from that thing. And then… he dropped me. I think he must have dropped the kids at the same time, since I heard them screaming. And as I was falling, there was suddenly only one thing on my mind.

Peter Parker.

I'm in love with Peter. Seriously. I love him. So, so much. It all came on me in a rush. And all I could think was that I hoped I would live through that so I could see his face one more time. I prayed that I would live through it… just so I could have a chance to tell Peter how much I love him. That I can't live without him.

And then Spider-Man grabbed me. And the first thing I thought was that I couldn't believe he chose me. And then I realized that he had gotten the Goblin beat. He was able to get the kids too, by shooting webs to snatch the tram car. There was a barge on the river and he was trying to lower the tram to the deck. And he wanted me to climb down but I could hardly do it. I'm not even going to try writing it all down, it was too terrifying. I know I'll never forget it. The Goblin was trying to kill him the entire time and there were people up on the bridge throwing things at him… and it was all an entire nightmare. Then the Goblin just sort of lassoed Spider-Man and vanished, dragging him behind his glider. No one knows what happened… just that the Goblin's armor and glider were found in an alley… cut through and bloody.

Later…

Harry just called. I didn't think this mess could get any messier, but it did. His father was killed last night. And… get this… Harry says that Spider-Man did it.

I don't believe it. Spider-Man is a hero. He saved so many lives last night. Who knows what happened to Norman Osborne? Maybe it was the Green Goblin. I'm sure it was, actually.

This is terrible. The funeral is tomorrow. I haven't talked to Harry since that terrible Thanksgiving. Thought I was too mad to ever talk to him again. But now… I just feel terribly sorry for him. I know how he loved his father. Even if his father didn't really deserve it.

Even Later…

I've been trying to call Peter all day. Left half a dozen messages for him, but he won't pick up at all. I guess he's probably helping Harry with getting the funeral ready. I don't really know what to do now… I want to tell him how I feel. I just hope and pray that he feels the same way. I'm half-terrified that he'll think I'm crazy, and yet, I know he won't. I've had a feeling… ever since at least the fourth grade… that he's liked me. And after what he said at the hospital the other day…

All at once I'm so happy I can't see straight. I never really thought, although I must always have known somewhere, deep inside of me, that Peter was the love of my life. That he and I were always meant to be. I've never felt this way before. There's only one man who's always been there for me… who makes me feel like I'm more than I ever thought I could be. That I'm just me. And that's okay.

And that's officially my longest entry. May God grant that I never again have the need for such a long entry. At least, not of this kind. Man, my life is crazy.

MJ's hands shook as she half-closed the diary, keeping her finger in to mark her spot. Her other hand flew to her head and she hid her face as she took a trembling breath. What she was reading frightened her. She had hardly seen Peter Parker since they graduated from high school. She remembered, of course, the disaster of a Thanksgiving and meeting up with him occasionally on the street. A few conversations here and there, nothing much.

So what was up with this diary? Was it some weird kind of a fake? But it couldn't be. She distinctly remembered writing in it. In fact… hadn't she written in it just a few weeks ago? But it had been stuck in a dusty old box under her bed.

"This is too weird," MJ whispered, staring at the unobtrusive diary as if it held some kind of poison. "What on earth is all this? I was in love with… Peter Parker? Since when? That's ridiculous. Completely ridiculous." But something deep inside of her knew otherwise. That it wasn't as ridiculous as it seemed. In silence, she opened the book again, half-frightened to see what she had written next. All these memories that had completely vanished from her mind.

December 1, 2001

I've had it. I don't know what to say. I'm not even going to write about it. Not yet. It's too painful. My heart is broken. It's so strange… I feel so vulnerable… so fragile… like I'm made of shattered glass. I wish to heaven that I was dead… or that I was never born. If nobody loves me, nobody wants me… what is the point of going on? Without Peter… what am I going to do? Dear God, how am I going to live without him? How could I have discovered such wonderful love… and then lost it… all at once?

She shook her head over these words. Never before had her heart been broken. Of this, she was sure. But if that was true, then why this strange and unexplainable pain deep inside of her?