So, it's been a while. I had hoped to put this out there sooner, but sadly, my grandfather passed away a few days ago. He had a major health scare before Thanksgiving, and this time he didn't recover. This has been a long time coming, but it's still obviously a difficult time for my family, so most of my time will be spent on them for the foreseeable future. I'd like to give you all an update on how my writing is going or some behind the scenes tidbits, but frankly, I don't have the energy right now.

If you haven't yet, then please support Ukraine however you can. I'd also like to take this chance to say something on the tiny chance that any Russian soldiers are reading this. Your commanders don't care about you. You aren't trained or equipped to fight the weapons we're supplying to Ukraine. Please, if you want to surrender, call +38 066 580 34 98 or +38 093 119 29 84. This is the Ukrainian self-surrender hotline. You will be treated humanely, allowed to contact your families, and receive medical treatment.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Chapter 36

"Do you hate the Kyuubi, Naruto?"

Naruto didn't have an answer for Master Fay's question. Not when she asked him during their spar (which he'd eventually won), not during his spar with Master Windu (which he'd soundly lost), and not in the day and a half after when he meditated on it. His mind went round and round, trying to find an answer, but just couldn't figure it out. It scratched at his mind while he slept, when he sparred, when he tinkered with the ship's systems.

"Do you hate the Kyuubi, Naruto?"

It seemed like such a simple question. By all rights the answer should have been a resounding yes. Of course he should hate the beast sealed in his belly. It had attacked his village. Because of it, his parents were dead. Because of it, he grew up alone, an outcast, shunned and friendless for years. If all that wasn't enough reason to hate the damned thing, it had tried to take over his body and hurt his friends. There could be no greater justification for hatred than that.

And yet, such hatred would spit in the face of everything Jiraiya believed in. It flew against all of Mace's lessons. Most importantly, it ran counter to who Naruto wanted to be. He didn't want to define himself with hatred, like Sasuke had. That path led only to darkness, as he'd seen firsthand. For him, the cycle of hatred wasn't just an abstract idea; it had taken his best friend and twisted him into a monster. It had destroyed countless other lives, and he wanted no part in it, save to break the cycle as often as he could.

So he was caught between two extremes, unable to understand, let alone articulate, how he felt. It was ironic; he supposed. The most powerful empath in the Jedi Order couldn't gain any clarity on his own emotions. It doesn't get any better when he considers what his master said he would face on Lothal.

'I'll have to confront whatever is throwing me off balance,' he thought in between attempts at meditation. 'That's a pretty short list, and the evil furball is right at the top of it. Fun.'

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Lothal was an unassuming, if pretty enough, planet. It lacked the jaw dropping natural wonder of Naboo, or the vibrant intensity of Coruscant, but it held its own sort of quiet, steady beauty. Rolling plains of golden grass covered most of the land. Unusual, cone shaped rock formations, ranging from less than a meter high to the size of small mountains, dotted the vast prairies. Even from the air, Naruto could sense the life forms racing through the grass, especially the Loth-cats. They had an unusually strong connection to the Force for non-sentient beings. Now that he thought about it, the whole planet had a profound connection to the Force. It wasn't the sort of raw, blinding power he had sensed on Ilum, though. Lothal didn't shine as brightly, but its presence felt… deeper, somehow. More nuanced. He could understand why the ancient Jedi would have been interested in the planet.

Fay landed the ship somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere, close enough to the Pole for there to be a light coating of frost on the ground. The frozen grass crunched beneath his feet when he stepped off the ramp, and his breath plumed in the brisk morning air. He was grateful for his robe and mask, which warded off the worst of the chill.

"Why do I always end up in these places in the middle of winter?" He muttered. "First Ilum, now here. This is becoming a trend. And where's this Temple supposed to be? I don't see anything."

"You tell us, Naruto," Fay said from behind him. He turned around and cocked an eyebrow.

"You want me to find it?" She had to be joking. "Don't you know where it is?"

"It is not us who are being tested, Padawan," Mace said. "Finding and entering the Temple is as much a part of the Ordeal as what you may face inside. Besides, it will be good practice. You still struggle to sense and track non-sentient things through the Force."

Naruto grimaced beneath his mask, but didn't argue. Mace was right. He did need more practice sensing things through the Force when his empathy wasn't of use. It worked brilliantly with sentient organics, especially humanoids, but sensing droids, locations, objects, and even some of the more esoteric life forms in the galaxy required a different approach, one he had yet to master. With a resigned sigh, he closed his eyes and slipped into a light trance as he reached out with the Force. Behind his eyelids, he saw the world around him as a tangled web of energy. The glowing skeins of color, vibrant and luminous, connected him with everything around him, from the plants to the rocks to the vast, pulsing heart of the planet itself. It was confusing at first, with too much information moving too fast for him to make much sense of it. One moment he felt the frenetic business of some rodent burrowing nearby, next the deadly patience of a circling bird of prey disrupted his thoughts, and then the slow, simple endurance of the grass took up his attention.

"Remember; do not think, feel," Mace said. "Don't go looking for what you seek. Keep your goal fixed in your mind and let the Force guide you."

It took a few seconds, but Naruto managed to pull back into himself enough to follow his master's advice. He didn't know what the Jedi Temple on Lothal actually looked like, but that was little obstacle to the Force. He fixed the concept of a Jedi Temple in his mind and then relaxed as best he could to let the Force guide him. For an unknown time, he drifted along the currents of energy that wrapped around the planet. Eventually, like a bit of driftwood caught in a whirlpool, he began to circle one specific area, drawing closer and closer with every passing moment. As he circled, an image appeared in his mind; faint at first, but clearer and clearer as he got closer. He opened his eyes, careful to keep his focus on the Temple.

"I think I've got it. It's not too far from here."

Mace nodded. "Then lead the way."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

'Not too far' turned out to be a relative term. Even hiking at a near jog, the journey still took most of the day. They could always have used the Force, or chakra, and sprinted to their destination in a couple of hours, but there was no need for such haste. Besides, Naruto wasn't certain he could keep his focus on the Force as it guided him while also running faster than a speeder bike. As it was, by the time they arrived at the location of the Temple, the sun was setting. In the fading evening light, an aurora was visible in the sky; a rippling sheet of green and yellow light floating kilometers above their heads. It helped illuminate one of the largest of those odd, cone-shaped rocks Naruto had seen so far. The boulder stood several dozen meters tall, surrounded by smaller rocks. Aside from its size, though, nothing about its appearance suggested it was special.

The Force told a different story, however. Naruto could sense the vergence within the enormous stone as a steady pulse, like pounding surf on a beach, stretching deep into the ground. It set the hairs on his arms tingling, much like he had felt outside the Temple on Ilum back when he had found his crystal. Also like on Ilum, there was no obvious entrance to the Temple here. He walked around the entire base of the stone, but there was nothing but smooth, solid rock all the way around.

'Master Windu said getting in was part of the Ordeal, so there must be some way inside,' he thought. 'Maybe it opens like the Temple on Ilum, too. It makes sense if it's not meant to be occupied all the time. The builders wouldn't want people just wandering in.'

He took a few steps back and extended his senses with the Force, looking for the same spiritual channels he had felt on Ilum to reveal the entrance. Almost immediately, he felt them, but something wasn't right. He could feel his power flow through the channels, but nothing was happening. There was more to the lock, a sense of incompleteness, a gap he couldn't fill on his own. He dropped his efforts and frowned. There had to be something he was missing. Mentally, he went over everything Mace and Master Fay had told him about the Lothal Temple. After a few minutes of thinking, the answer hit him like a rock on the head.

'Of course. Mace said this Temple was used to test if Padawan's are truly meant to be Jedi. No one would come here alone.'

"Master?" He said aloud, walking over to where Mace was sitting on a dusty carving.

"Have you figured it out, Naruto?"

"I think so. It takes a master and a Padawan. We have to open it together."

"Very good." Naruto could feel his approval over their bond. "Together, then."

They stood side by side on the carved circle and reached out to the Force as one. This time, Naruto could feel both halves of the lock come alive as their linked powers followed the mystical grooves in the Force. The ground trembled, and with the deep grinding noise of rock scraping against rock, the Temple spiraled up out of the ground. Higher and higher it rose until a carved stone door spun into view. Only when the entrance was level with the ground and facing them did the Temple stop moving and settle into its new position. Both he and Mace continued to channel the Force to keep it raised, even as they stepped off the stone pad. He took a moment to marvel at the ingenuity that must have gone into constructing such an elaborate mechanism before he walked towards the door, Mace a step behind him. It wasn't until he was halfway there that he noticed the third member of their group hadn't made a move to join them.

"Master Fay, aren't you coming?"

She smiled softly and shook her head. "No, Naruto. What lies ahead is between Master and Padawan, and no one else. Trust in yourself. I have faith you will overcome this challenge and emerge all the stronger. May the Force be with you."

Naruto wasn't pleased that she wouldn't be joining them in the Temple. While she may have been strange, and slightly terrifying, Fay had also been a source of constant wisdom and comfort through the hell that had been the last week. He could tell she was adamant on remaining outside, though, and just gave her an eye-smile as thanks for her encouraging words. As soon as they entered the Temple, he felt Mace relax his grip on the Force, and he did the same. The entire structure trembled, and then sank back into the ground, taking them with it. The fading sunlight vanished, leaving only a dim glow from some unseen source to illuminate the cavernous interior.

The inside of the Temple looked to have been undisturbed for decades, but it was difficult to tell. It was all dusty, carved stone, worn smooth by the current of time. Blocky pillars, decorated with intricate carvings, supported the ceiling of some sort of entrance hall. The whole place felt soaked in time, the stones bearing down with the weight of millennia. This place was not merely old, it was Old. Old in the way mountains were Old. A shiver contemplated crawling up his spine, but thought better of it and hid in his knees.

At the end of the entrance hall was another doorway, with a space for meditation in front of it. As he approached it, Naruto spotted what looked like a kneeling figure at the base of one pillar. When he turned to look at it, though, he recoiled in shock. It was the desiccated skeleton of an Iktotchi, kneeling in apparent meditation.

"Whoa!" He yelped and flinched back, one hand automatically reaching for his lightsaber before he stopped himself. With a quick Jedi cantrip, he mastered his shock and slowed his heart rate from 'near-hyperspeed' down to merely 'racing'. Once he was calm, he took a closer look. There was another skeleton kneeling in front of the opposite pillar, this one human. Both were dressed in Jedi robes, and covered in a thick layer of dust. Whatever the cause, their death had not been recent.

"Who are they?" He asked. Mace turned and looked even more solemn than usual.

"Those whose Padawan's failed the test."

Naruto's eyebrows nearly attained orbit. "What?! You mean, if I don't pass the Ordeal…"

"I will join them, yes." Not a flicker of fear showed in Mace, not even over the bond. "You are my Padawan. Your training is my responsibility. If the student fails, so too has the master."

"But- I don't…" Naruto could barely even find the words. The sight of Viir breathing her last flashed in his vision, and his breath stuttered. He couldn't be responsible for someone else's death. "You could die!"

"Yes. And that is my risk to bear. This fear you are feeling is natural, Naruto, but it is also holding you back. For Jedi, courage is not just personal. We accept that our fellow Jedi will also be in danger, and that we cannot change that."

"But if I fail-"

"Then don't fail," Mace said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "There is no doubt in my mind that you can face this trial, overcome the challenges before you, and emerge all the stronger. Remember what I taught you. Focus on what you want to achieve, and it will happen. Now go. We do not want to keep your friends waiting. I am sure they are all quite eager to build their lightsabers."

Naruto wanted to object further, but the look on his master's face stilled his tongue. It was an expression of unwavering confidence, of total faith that this was the right path. His own doubts and fears suddenly felt insignificant in the face of such surety.

'Trust in the Force, my Padawan. I will trust in you.'

He straightened his shoulders and turned his resolve. With one last eye-smile towards his master, he stepped through the open doorway into the tunnel beyond. A soft rumble was his only warning before a stone block slid from the ceiling and boomed shut, trapping him in the cave.

'Well, no way to go but forward,' he thought, and walked into the dark.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The day after Naruto left for Lothal, Bant cleared Ahsoka and the others to return to Coruscant. Barriss and Galdos were both still in hoverchairs, but she, Knox, and Trilla were all fully or almost fully recovered. She was grateful to finally be out of the hospital. With Naruto there, she'd at least had her best friend to keep her company. Without him, Ahsoka had been just about ready to stage a breakout and steal a ship herself. The only person who dealt with boredom worse than her was Naruto. Besides, she desperately needed to talk to someone back at the Temple. She was so thrilled to be going home she didn't even object when Bant ordered her to keep using her crutches for another week.

When they got back to the Temple, the Healers immediately absconded with Barriss and Galdos to start their physical therapy. The rest of them had leave to do as they wanted, "to relax and recover", or so Master Leem said. Knox went to the Archives to read. Trilla headed straight for the crèche to volunteer to watch over the newest younglings. Ahsoka, on the other hand, made a beeline for the living quarters. It took a while to limp to her destination, and her whole body ached by the time she got there, but she wasn't about to let a little discomfort get in her way.

'Besides, I'm sure I can just tell Healer Bant this was physical therapy,' she thought as she rang the chime. 'Come on, please be here, please be here, please be here.'

The door hissed open to reveal a worried looking Obi-Wan. A small but relieved smile shone from under his beard when he looked down and saw her. "Hello there, Ahsoka. It's good to see you safe, little one."

"Hi, Master Kenobi. Can I come in?"

"Of course." He stood aside and ushered her into the room. Though she'd been in his and Anakin's quarters before, she still took a moment to look around.

The rooms were laid out in the standard format for Master-Padawan quarters, with two private rooms adjoined by a communal space and a small kitchen. It was the same as Naruto and Master Windu's rooms, but also very different. While Jedi, as a rule, maintained a spartan lifestyle, most quarters acquired a small personal touch over time. Naruto, when he wasn't overthrowing tyrants or breaking up drug syndicates, was an avid gardener. He dotted his rooms with various potted plants and small shrubs (many of which she suspected were poisonous). Master Windu eschewed any personal belongings, but did prefer to cook meals from his homeworld rather than go to the mess hall if possible. It had come as no small surprise to her, the first time she had visited Naruto in his new rooms, to see the most intimidating Master in the whole Order standing over a stove, stirring a pot of spicy-smelling stew while Naruto pruned a potted plant while wearing protective gloves and a respirator.

In contrast, there was no smell of stew nor colorful flowers in Anakin and Obi-Wan's apartment. Instead, a collection of exotic teas sat on the counter, while various tools and bits of dismembered gadgetry littered every other available surface. Ahsoka smirked at the mess. It matched Anakin so well, with his chaotic Force signature and passionate emotions.

"I heard what happened." Obi-Wan's voice broke her out of her observations. He looked down at her with a soft expression. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Is- is Anakin here?" She cursed the tremor in her voice, but now that she was here, it was getting harder and harder to hold herself together.

"Yes, he's in his room, building something, as usual," Obi-Wan said, casting a glance towards Anakin's room. Now that she listened for it, she could hear the faint hum of tools from behind the door.

"What's he making?" She asked. Before he could answer, there was a muffled thump, followed by a lot of cursing in Huttese. Anakin's door slid open and he stumbled into the main room in a cloud of oily smoke and profanity. Ahsoka had to stifle a snort of laughter and looked up at Obi-Wan.

"Noise, apparently," the Knight quipped. Anakin's head snapped around.

"Hey, it's not my fault! The tool-" He stopped when he finally noticed who else was in the room. For a moment, silence ruled, then he jumped forward, prior complaints forgotten.

"Hey, Skyguy."

"Snips!" In the space of a heartbeat, he crossed the room and swamped her in a huge embrace. All at once, the stubborn energy she had been using to keep herself upright fled, and she slumped forward into him while her crutches clattered to the floor. Anakin didn't miss a beat, but picked her up as if she weighed nothing. Her arms and legs automatically wrapped around his torso and she clung to him like a rancor pup, not caring if it looked embarrassing or not.

"I heard about the attack," he whispered, and anger blazed off him like a collapsing star. "I promise, if the scum who did that ever show their faces again, I'll hunt them down and destroy them."

She squeezed him tighter as his rage buffeted against her senses. It was always this way with Anakin. He wore his heart on his sleeve and everyone around him got caught up in his sheer presence. Normally, that presence was invigorating, thrilling even, but sometimes, like now, it was crushing. Distantly, she heard Obi-Wan say something, but couldn't make out the words over the roaring in her head. Whatever he said had an effect, though, because the tidal waves of fury died down to a barely detectable simmer. In its place, she felt a soothing hand rub her rear lek as Anakin walked them over to the couch.

"I'm sorry, Snips. I shouldn't have lost control like that."

"'S okay, Skyguy," she mumbled into his tunic. The storm of anger may have been unpleasant, even a little scary, but it also reminded her how much Anakin cared.

"No, it wasn't," he said bitterly. "It hurt you, and that's never okay. I promise, I'll do better."

"You said you needed to talk to Anakin, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan said from the kitchen, where he was making a pot of tea. She shifted until she was sitting next to him instead of on top of him. Anakin kept an arm around her shoulders, though, and she leaned into the contact for strength. For a long few minutes, she said nothing. Eventually, Obi-Wan brought over three mugs of tea and handed her one. She sipped it and let the relaxing taste drain some of the tension from her muscles. Finally, Anakin broke the silence.

"What is it, Snips? If you don't talk, I can't-"

"I killed someone," she blurted out. "During the attack. One of the Mandalorians. He was holding me hostage, but Naruto… distracted him. I took his blaster, and I- I shot him. In the head. Under his helmet."

The words sounded strange, as if someone else was speaking in her voice. Never in her young life had she considered that she might actually have to say such a thing. Anakin and Obi-Wan both shifted at her declaration, and she felt more than heard Anakin sigh. She refused to look at them, though, instead staring intently at her tea. It would have been too much if she looked up and saw judgement in their eyes; or worse, pity.

"Oh, little one, you don't-"

"It was awful," she said, barely aware she had interrupted Obi-Wan. "There was blood and brains, and I sensed him die. But I didn't feel anything. I was angry because of… Viir, and scared, but when I killed him, there was nothing. I wasn't happy, or sad, or disgusted. He died! I killed him!" Her voice rose to a near shriek. "And I didn't even care. I still don't feel anything about it."

She finally dared to look up from her steaming mug of tea. Her eyes stung as tears threatened to spill down her face, and she couldn't make out either of their expressions. "Why don't I feel anything about it? What's wrong with me?"

Anakin's mug made a dull thump when he set it on the table. Two calloused, grease-stained hands cupped her face and a pair of thumbs gently wiped the tears out of her eyes. She blinked and saw his face hovering in front of hers, a look of understanding and compassion on it.

"I am so sorry you had to do that, but I want you to listen to me now, okay? There's nothing wrong with you, Ahsoka," he said in a voice filled with boundless conviction. "You hear me? Nothing."

"But I-"

"No buts. You did what you had to do. It's okay not to feel anything about that. It's okay to be happy, or sad, or angry, or whatever you feel."

Ahsoka chewed her lip and had to squeeze her mug to stop her hands from shaking. "Jedi are supposed to be compassionate, though. How could I not care about killing someone?"

Anakin made to speak, but Obi-Wan beat him to it. As usual, his voice was as soothing as the tea he loved. "Ahsoka, you're here, almost in tears from stress. This has clearly had you worked up for days now. It looks to me as if you care a great deal. Do not focus on the negative. Anakin is right. There is no one proper response to taking a life. Whatever you are feeling, accept it and know that you protected yourself. You protected your friends. From what I've heard, none of them would be alive if not for you."

She couldn't find anything wrong or untrue about what he said, but it still didn't really help. It didn't ease the sense that she should have felt… something. Even happiness would have been better than the complete apathy she felt towards the nameless man she had killed. Her vision started to blur again, but Anakin's voice brought her back to reality.

"I felt the same as you after the first time I killed someone," he said. Ahsoka swallowed and looked at him, not sure what to say. His voice was a little distant, but he still looked at her with the same compassion as earlier.

"Really?"

He nodded. "That's right. I was a little younger than you. We were on a mission to study an asteroid belt. It was supposed to be easy. Boring. It turned out not to be boring at all."

"No, boredom has been conspicuously absent from my life since I met you, my young Padawan," Obi-Wan said. His words were teasing, but his tone held an undercurrent of affection that took any bite out of his statement. Anakin shot him a wan smile before he continued.

"It turned out a pirate gang had been using the asteroids as a base for slave trafficking. It was a small outfit, maybe a dozen of them, and they had a bunch of prisoners, so we intervened before they sold them off. Long story short, I ended up in the holding cells trying to open the cages when some random guard walked in. There was no reason for him to be there; he just wandered in on a whim, I guess. Anyway, he went for his blaster and I didn't even hesitate. I just stabbed him, right in the heart, before he could even draw his weapon. Just like you, I was angry he was a slaver. Furious even. I was scared, too. That was the first time I ever used my lightsaber on a mission, and there were dozens of people counting on me. But when it came to killing him, I didn't feel anything. It was just another step in solving the problem. Afterwards, I didn't even think about him until it came time to give my report."

Ahsoka shivered at how uncannily similar his story sounded to her own. If it weren't for the Force, she might have thought he was making it all up to comfort her, but she could sense the truth behind his words.

"I remember almost being sick when I realized I'd nearly forgotten about killing someone. I thought I was a monster. It took me a long time to figure it out, but I wasn't. Killing him was necessary, and torturing myself for not breaking down over it was pointless. I didn't do anything wrong, just like you didn't do anything wrong. Tell me, were you defending yourself?"

She took a shaky breath and nodded. "Yes."

"Did you kill him out of hatred, or to get revenge for attacking your friends?"

"No."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, surrounding her in solid warmth. "Then stop beating yourself up for doing the right thing. Trust me, feeling guilty for not feeling guilty, especially when you did nothing wrong, doesn't help anything. You're a good person. I believe in you, and I think you'll make an amazing Jedi one day."

Ahsoka's breath hitched at hearing her role model and older brother figure say he believed in her. "You really mean that?"

"Of course, Snips," he said, and she could hear the cocky smirk in his voice. "You should believe me. After all, I am older and wiser. I know these things."

She snorted and nudged him with her shoulder, but a small smile tugged at her lips. Anakin may have been cocky, but he was also the Jedi she looked up to more than any other, even Yoda. Hearing his story, and the reassurance that she really wasn't a monster, helped loosen the knot of stress and worry that had been building up in her chest for the past few days. For the first time since Naruto had left, it felt like she could take a full breath.

"Mmm, thanks Skyguy," she mumbled. The emotional turmoil of the last hour, combined with the comforting warmth of Anakin's presence and the calming effect of Obi-Wan's teas, all teamed up to leach the last of the energy from her still healing body. With a sleepy groan, she let her head tip forward and tried to burrow deeper into Anakin's side. He must have noticed, because he pulled her up into a more comfortable position, where she could use his body as a pillow. One arm wrapped around her to keep her from slipping, while his other reached up and began gently tapping out a simple rhythm on her still-budding montrals. It was the Togruta equivalent of having her hair scratched, and soon enough, the world around her dissolved into a warm fog. The taps blurred out her echolocation and sent waves of drowsiness rolling over her. Her eyes drifted shut, and sleep carried her off.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Obi-Wan gazed fondly at his Padawan as he sat with a lap full of a tiny, sleeping, Togrutan teenager. Ahsoka's Force signature sang with peace and contentment, a far cry from the tangled mess it had been when she first knocked on the door. Anakin had one arm wrapped protectively around her back, while he absently tapped on her montrals with the other.

"You never told me you struggled after that mission, Anakin," he said. His Padawan looked up from the sleeping Togruta and grinned sheepishly.

"It didn't seem like such a big deal at the time." Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. He didn't believe for a second that was the whole story. Anakin rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Okay, okay. I… thought you might get rid of me if I said anything. It was stupid, I know, but I was still getting used to being able to ask people for help."

Obi-Wan privately mused that Anakin had never truly mastered that skill, but he kept it to himself. His Padawan had been much more open with him over the last few years, and he was loath to say anything to jeopardize that. "Well, I'm glad you could draw wisdom from that experience, at least. You handled matters with Ahsoka very well. I'm proud of you."

Anakin snorted and frowned. Ahsoka murmured in her sleep and he froze and took a calming breath. He didn't speak until she stilled, but when he did, his voice came out as a low, growling whisper, trembling with suppressed anger. "None of this should have happened. What kind of monsters attack a ship full of younglings?"

"Be mindful of your feelings, Anakin," Obi-Wan reminded him. "Anger is a poison. We cannot shape the past, only the future, and to do that, we must think clearly. Master Unduli and Jiraiya are doubtless tracking down the culprits as we speak. Ahsoka and the others will recover. They're strong and they'll have help. Barriss will have Master Luminara, Trilla will have Master Junda-"

"And Ahsoka?" Anakin asked, face surly. Obi-Wan knew where this was going. Anakin had been stewing over this for months, now. "She doesn't have a master. No one's even talked to her about taking her on. It's not fair. She's got so much potential, and it's like no one else can see it."

"She has you. Don't underestimate yourself."

Anakin snorted again. "I'm not her master."

He smiled. "Yet."

Anakin's head snapped up, eyes wide and mouth gaping. Obi-Wan swallowed a grin at his ridiculous expression. "W-what do you mean yet? I'm not-"

"Anakin, why do you think no one has asked to take her on?" Obi-Wan asked, privately enjoying his Padawan's reaction. He didn't get a chance to play jokes very often, but he still enjoyed it when he could. "The other Knights and Masters are hardly blind to her potential. You have the beginnings of a training bond with Ahsoka."

"I- what? I don't… what?" Anakin looked increasingly lost and confused.

"It's been there for years now. Jiraiya and I both noticed, and I'm fairly sure Naruto has, too. Everyone who looked at Ahsoka could sense she was destined to be someone else's Padawan."

"But I'm still a Padawan!" Anakin cried. Despite his plaintive tone, Obi-Wan could sense more than a hint of interest in him at the idea. It was just buried under shock and self-doubt. He shook his head at that last one. It never ceased to baffle him how Anakin could be confident to the point of arrogance in so many things, yet have so little faith in himself in others. It was one of the main things Obi-Wan still wanted to work with him on, but that was for the future.

"For now, yes, you are still a Padawan. But you're closer to being ready for the Trials than I think you realize."

"Ready for the- Master, I hurt Ahsoka just now when I almost lost control." The admission came with a wave of bitter self-recrimination. Obi-Wan could feel it through the bond, even though it wasn't directed at him. He nodded and gestured for Anakin to calm down, accompanying it with feelings of peace and understanding through the Force.

"Remember my advice to Ahsoka; do not focus on the negative. You regained your control the instant you noticed her discomfort. I said you were close to being ready. There is still plenty I have to teach you, but I believe within a year, perhaps a bit longer, you will be a Knight."

That, finally, seemed to render Anakin speechless. He just stared straight ahead, mouth open, too stunned to speak. Obi-Wan smiled to himself and got up to wash the now empty mugs while his Padawan rebooted. When he got back, Anakin was still staring vacantly into the middle distance, though. He sighed and reached out with the Force.

'Snap out of it, Padawan mine. There's no call for dramatics.'

Anakin blinked before shooting him a dirty look. "I am not dramatic, Master."

"Mmmm?" He raised an eyebrow. Anakin flushed and looked away.

"Fine," he muttered, before he looked back down at Ahsoka. The exhausted girl was still fast asleep, clinging to Anakin's torso like a monkey-lizard despite all the noise they had been making. "What am I supposed to do? I've never even thought about taking a Padawan. What should I tell her?"

"Anakin, you aren't under any obligation to take a student, certainly not yet. You should meditate on this. If it is truly the will of the Force that you should train Ahsoka, I believe you will do fine. As for how to tell her, that is up to you. I wouldn't say anything until you decide, though. Take your time. She won't be sent to Bandomeer or anything like that."

Anakin was silent for several minutes, though his Force signature remained turbulent. Obi-Wan let him think, though. He'd dropped a lot on his Padawan's head all at once; now it was time to let him work through it. He was confident Anakin would make the right decision for himself and Ahsoka, whatever that turned out to be. If he was honest with himself, he hoped Anakin chose to train her. She would make a truly amazing Jedi one day, and he wanted Anakin to experience the joys of training a brilliant Padawan and seeing them grow up. Though their partnership may have begun with tragedy, training Anakin had been the most rewarding experience of his life. He could scarcely remember what it was like to sit down without first having to clear away spare circuit boards and technical manuals, or meditate without feeling the bright link between himself and the boy (man, now) whom he'd raised for the past nine years. He didn't know what his life would be like without Anakin as a constant presence in it.

'I'm going to have to find out,' he realized. 'Soon enough, he'll be a Knight, and probably a teacher as well. Force, when did he grow up?'

It was a sobering thought that Anakin would soon be out on his own, but not a sad one. For all that would miss having his Padawan around, he refused to begrudge him the chance to walk his own path and be his own man. Besides, Anakin was one of the most steadfast and loyal people he knew. Their friendship would outlive Anakin's knighting; he was confident in that.

"I had better get Ahsoka back to the crèche before Master Leem tears the Temple apart looking for her." Anakin's voice startled him out of his thoughts. When he looked, Anakin had already gathered Ahsoka into his arms and stood up to carry her to the crèche. "I… don't know what I'm going to do yet, but I'll think about it."

"Just remember, Padawan, I will always be here to help, whatever the future holds."

"I'll remember that." He paused halfway out the door and looked back. "Thank you, master. For everything. I wouldn't be who I am today without your teachings."

Obi-Wan smiled. "You're welcome, Anakin. It's been my privilege." He watched his robes vanish around the corner and nodded in satisfaction. The future was in good hands. Very good hands indeed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"So what do you think?" Jiraiya asked.

"I think this ship you've gotten is a piece of junk," Luminara replied.

"… …" He opened his mouth to deny it, but the words just wouldn't come. There were some lies too big even for a former shinobi. Claiming the vessel in front of them was anything other than a scrap heap would fly in the face of overwhelming evidence.

The ship in question was an ancient, dilapidated, rusting G9 Rigger-class light freighter. Jiraiya had purchased it from a local farmer to replace the T-6 shuttle they had flown from Ansion. There were dents in the hull, it leaked various noxious fluids everywhere, and the control panel randomly shot sparks for no apparent reason. He imagined Naruto would have laughed his ass off at the idea of flying the junker between cities, let alone halfway across the galaxy.

"It'll blend in," Jiraiya said, trying to muster some of his tattered dignity. "Besides, it's the best I could do on short notice. It's not like we can go to Nar Shaddaa in a Jedi shuttle. At least in this thing we won't get shot down the moment we try to land."

"No, far better we should disintegrate in hyperspace when the engines explode." Despite her sarcastic tone, he knew Luminara was only trying to lighten the mood. In a way, it was heartening. A few years ago, the idea of actually bantering with her would have been unthinkable. Now, it was downright normal. He kept up their back and forth while they spent two hours repairing the more important systems, occasionally throwing in a more flirtatious quip. To his surprise and tentative excitement, she not only didn't call him out on it, but might actually have flirted back. It was a little tough to tell, between her reserve and dry wit, but there was a certain playfulness to her comments he hadn't seen before.

That playfulness vanished as they got closer to Nar Shaddaa, however, replaced with her unreadable mask. Something was clearly bothering her, but he had no idea what. Not for the first time, he envied Naruto his empathic abilities. Knowing what practically any woman was feeling with barely any effort. His inner super pervert boggled at the potential of such power and mourned that the gaki would likely never use it in such a way. Ah, if only he could-

'No,' he told himself. 'You're done with that. That was then. This is now, and if you want to know what's on her mind, just ask her, dammit.'

So he did. He found her in the cockpit, staring out at the swirling void of hyperspace. Though she kept her body language tightly controlled, he could still see the subtle tension in her jaw and the minute tapping of one finger. Most others would have missed it, but to his experienced eye there was agitation written across her plain as day.

"There's something on your mind," he said. She didn't visibly react, but he could sense the change in her focus. She had heard him. "Talk to me. Maybe I can help."

She didn't respond right away, but he waited. In his experience, when she was tense, she became extra careful with her words. Patience was the best strategy, and after a few minutes, it paid off.

"I am unsure of the disguises you've chosen for us."

Jiraiya blinked. He hadn't been expecting such an obvious deflection. It meant whatever was actually bothering her involved him somehow. That narrowed the possibilities down, but he decided to play along for now. He wouldn't pressure her to tell him something unless it became mission critical.

"You don't think we can pass as smugglers? Well, I suppose we could always go with my first idea."

That got a rise out of her. She swiveled her chair to fix him with a look that could have turned Mon Cala into a desert world. "I am not pretending to be a married bounty hunter couple."

"But why not?" He swept one hand through the air, as if highlighting some dramatic scene. "Just think about it. Me, the dashing, handsome mercenary, feared by men and desired by women across the galaxy. You, my bride and partner; sexy, lethal, and the only woman to whom my heart belongs. Together, we adventure across the galaxy, our love conquering all who would do us harm. The story practically writes itself. How can you say no to that?"

Her face twitched for a moment before she gave up trying to suppress her reaction. A smile broke through her previous stoic reserve, and a soft chuckle escaped her lips. He smiled back, glad to see her malaise gone, even if only for a moment.

"I can say no because it sounds like the plot of a cheap pornographic novel," she said between laughs. "Something you would know all about, I'm sure."

He gasped in mock outrage. "How dare you? My books were never cheap." Something occurred to him, and a sly grin crawled across his face. "How would you know anything about porn, anyway? Are we, perhaps, not quite the pure and perfect Jedi paragon after all?"

Jiraiya was ready for any number of reactions to his snarky question. Cool indifference. Feigned deafness. Outraged spluttering. Embarrassed denial (ideally). What he was not expecting, and was certainly not prepared for, was for Luminara to look him dead in the eyes and give him a secretive smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she said in a voice that somehow managed to be teasing, alluring, and confident all at once. He had to force himself not to gulp.

'Sweet Kami, that was one of the sexiest things I've ever seen,' he thought. 'How is this woman so damn perfect?'

His heart (and his libido) desperately wanted to explore this newfound mystery further. The thought of Luminara reading smut, whether as a rebellious young woman or a curious adult, was enticing in ways he hadn't imagined. However, his sense of duty, the annoying pest that it was, hijacked whatever part of his brain was still functioning, and pointed out that Luminara was trying to distract him from asking about whatever was really on her mind. Reluctantly, he put the topic of porn aside, though he vowed to come back to it later. Those questions needed answers, and as soon as feasible. For now, though, concern outweighed prurience.

"Leaving that delightful morsel for later, now that I've gotten you out of your own head, do you want to tell me the real reason you're so stressed?"

It seemed she had expected her ploy to work because her eyes widened at his question. The smile dropped off her face, and, for a moment, he feared he had pushed too hard, that she would shut him out. He'd done it often enough in the past, though he hoped they were close enough, now, to at least share their worries with each other. After a moment, she relaxed and answered.

"I question if we're doing the right thing, going to Nar Shaddaa. Not that I think we should let Sing escape justice, but we're talking about infiltrating sovereign Hutt space, the heart of their territory, and arresting someone. We have no permission from the Hutt council, no diplomatic cover. We don't even have proof that Aurra was involved beyond Naruto's word. If they caught us, it could spark a major diplomatic incident."

Jiraiya frowned. There was something more to her objections than just political caution, but he didn't know what. "Aurra Sing's been a fugitive for nearly thirty years now. She's killed more than a dozen Jedi, and who knows how many innocent civilians."

"You do not need to remind me of her crimes." Luminara's voice gained an edge he could have shaved with. "Some of those Jedi she killed were my friends. One of the younglings she just brutalized is my soon-to-be Padawan. I know what sort of monster we're hunting."

He bowed his head in apology. "I'm sorry. But if you know all that, why are you hesitant to go through with this? And don't tell me it's because of the potential diplomatic fallout. There's something else bothering you, something deeper."

Once again, she was silent for a long time, and once again, he waited patiently for her to choose her words. This time, it took ten minutes before she finally spoke up.

"Military history being taught to younglings. Lightsaber training being revamped and updated for the first time in over a century. Masters and Knights getting dossiers on modern infantry and naval tactics. Are you and Master Yoda preparing the Jedi for a war?" She asked. Jiraiya inhaled sharply. So that was what all this was about. He should have known she would notice the new additions to the Temple curriculum. He'd kept them as subtle as he could, but there was only so far such efforts could go. For a moment, he wanted to deny it, but the thought passed quickly. There was no point in obfuscation, and she deserved the truth.

"Yes." The word felt too short to encompass the awful weight of that admission. It dropped from his mouth like a stone and sucked all other sound from the cockpit.

She pursed her lips into a thin, dark line. "Why? We aren't soldiers. Our duty is to prevent wars, not partake in them."

Now it was his turn to pause and weigh his words. "Every time Master Yoda has looked into the future over the past three years, he's seen the same thing. War. No matter what path he looks down, war is coming, and the Jedi are always at the heart of it. We don't know who we're fighting, or why, but it's always the same. Jedi leading armies into battle, fighting for the Republic. I proposed, and he agreed to make sure we're ready for it when it comes."

"I'd have thought you, of all people, would be the most opposed to war," she said. There was confusion in her voice, and a touch of irritation. "Your whole philosophy revolves around breaking the cycle of violence and hatred that's plagued the galaxy for so long."

He let out a heavy sigh and sat down in the copilot's chair. "I do believe in that, but I'm also not blind. If there's a war coming, it's because the Sith want it to come. Why else would they reveal themselves after a thousand years of hiding? Master Yoda and I simply don't want the Order caught off guard. This isn't something we want, but it is what the future holds. I don't like the idea of fighting another war, but I refuse to let others suffer when I could be defending them."

"We're meant to be peacekeepers." She sounded almost heartbroken, and it was a sentiment he fully agreed with. Sadly, the galaxy was not kind to such lofty ideals.

"You can't be a peacekeeper with no peace. If war breaks out, it will be our job to save the people from the worst of the suffering. The best way to do that is by ending the war as soon as possible. That means fighting, and that means preparing to fight. The Republic is vulnerable. Its military is a hollow shell. Who do you think the Senate will call upon to lead if peace efforts fail?"

She didn't respond, but he saw the realization in her eyes. He was right, and she knew it. That didn't make it any easier to swallow.

"Luminara, I hate this as much as you do," he said, trying to get her to see his point of view. "I'll do everything I can to prevent a war, but if we're up against the Sith, we have to face reality. They must be stopped, and it'll be the Jedi doing it."

Another long silence dominated the cramped cockpit. He could see the emotions play out across her face and in her body language. First denial, then desperation, and finally a mournful resignation. "Do you really think the Sith are behind the Separatists? You're talking about Dooku, one of the most powerful and respected Jedi Masters of the last three centuries, being a Sith Lord. Is it even possible?" She asked.

Jiraiya hesitated before answering. He'd had this same conversation already with Yoda, and it had gone nowhere. "We don't know. They have legitimate grievances against the Republic government. Even if Dooku is genuine, and the Sith aren't behind the Separatist movement, they'll definitely capitalize on the chaos. Until we know more, we have to be ready for anything." He spotted her expression. "You'd already figured all this out, hadn't you?"

She smiled a little. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look sadder. "Yes. I had hoped I was wrong. I wanted to be wrong. For you to be wrong. But you're not, are you?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm not."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Not really any action in this chapter, but a lot of needed character work. If you have a question, comment, complaint, etc. then please leave a review. I'll answer any questions as I see them. Also, I forgot to mention last chapter, but I have a new poll posted on my profile. Please vote if you haven't.