Chapter 25: You can't fight gravity

Harry had restrained himself from slipping his hand into Jasper's, and when the vampire sat down on a sun lounger facing the lake, his legs on either side of the seat, his back against the backrest, he remained standing. Shy, awkward, uncertain, Harry wanted to join him; he'd never felt better than in his arms, but couldn't mute his fear of seeing the Major appear again. The more time passed, the more he came to loathe the vampire who had brutally tackled him against the wall on several occasions, and the more he dreamed of Jasper doing it and inflicting the final outrages on him. He felt like he was losing his mind.

"You know I can feel your emotions?" asked the empath with a little smirk.

"Yeah, not like I can control them."

Harry's discomfort increased and Jasper lost his smile.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he apologized at once. "Whatever you feel like doing, I won't push you away. If I don't come to you, it's because I don't want to rush you, I've hurt you enough."

The wizard felt his barriers finally fall and his mind let go. When he'd seen Hermione earlier that afternoon, she'd reminded him just how strong the magic of two soulmates could be, that fighting this bond was like fighting gravity: impossible and dangerous. Shyly, he approached Jasper and sat between his legs, his back resting against the firm chest as a contented sigh escaped him.

The vampire tilted the backrest a little more, closed his arms around him and pulled them into a semi-seated position.

They stayed like that for a long time, their eyes in the stars, Harry playing with the long white fingers and stroking the skin of his arm with his free hand. They felt good, soothed, their bond satisfied.

The night grew dark and the temperatures dropped.

"Do you want to go inside?" whispered Jasper as the wizard began to shiver.

"Will you come with me?"

Half-asleep and more relaxed than he'd ever been, Harry had no desire to leave the vampire's arms. However, he pulled away from him and turned to look at him when only silence answered.

"What's the matter?"

"I, I prefer to stay outside. Before today, I hadn't been able to feel the wind on my skin or see the stars for nineteen years."

The vampire's voice was distant, his gaze fixed on the moon and shadows of memories of the torture he'd endured danced in his eyes.

"You thought you'd been through hell? I'll show you what hell is if you don't answer my questions." The voice resonated within him just as it had when the sentence had been uttered. He didn't know the answers, and he saw again this sadistic man drip a few drops of black liquid onto the dagger of a knife before coming towards him and cutting him. The blade sank into his skin between his ribs, opening him up all the way to his stomach. He remembered the burn, the pain and the words of his torturer.

"It's the only way you'll ever see the stars."

Indeed, the more the burning had intensified, the more stars had lit up in his gloomy prison, but his torturer had been wrong, he could observe those in the sky now.

An airy caress on his cheek brought him back to the present. He stopped himself just in time to chase away the touching hand, but his gaze fell on Harry and the worried emeralds chased away his phantom pain.

As soon as he was sure Jasper had recognized him, Harry moved towards him and gently placed his lips on his. It was as if they could both breathe at last after a long apnoea. The vampire placed his hand on Harry's loins as he began to play with his hair. The kiss had been airy, almost a caress, but had effectively chased away the empath's demons.

For a few seconds, they kept their lips less than a centimeter from each other's, before meeting for another butterfly kiss. Jasper pressed lightly against the young man's back to press against him, but Harry pulled back.

"Be patient." the wizard whispered as he turned in his arms to lean against him again.

Jasper closed his arms around his chest and kissed his neck. He was delighted with the turn of events and all ready to wait. Harry had butterflies in his stomach, and the beginnings of an erection, emotions that made the empath smile against his skin. A shiver shook him and brought him back to the discussion they'd had a short while before. He took his wand from his pocket and turned one of the chair cushions into a thick quilt, covering himself with it. Jasper smiled, pleased that Harry had decided to stay outside with him.

"Have you been outside all day?" breathed the young man.

"Yes, on the pontoon at the edge of the fence. And what did you do?"

"I went to see the damage at home, then to the aurors' office to see how the investigation was progressing, and I met up with some friends."

"Sorry about your house…"

"No, don't apologize. It's a chance to get rid of old things. I was able to collect the things I cared about most. I dropped them off at Ron and Hermione's."

"Your friends?"

"Yes, they are."

"Can you tell me about them?"

Jasper had felt the sadness emanating from the young man when he'd spoken of his memories transform into confidence and joy when he'd mentioned his friends. He wasn't stable enough to take in the young man's sadness for a long length of time; he was already having to fight his urge to make Harry his own, to mark him. Positive emotions, in addition to the well-being his soulmate felt in his arms, and the bond formed by their discussions, would help him maintain his control.

Harry felt good in the vampire's arms and was happy to tell him about his friends, he felt the bond building between them and that talking relieved some of the need for physical contact with his soul mate. So he told him how their trio had formed and what they'd been through together. One thing led to another, and he opened up about the people he'd seen die, his guilt and the traumas of war. He explained how he felt like an impostor, and how much he regretted having to kill to win. He hesitated to talk about the aftermath of the war, but Jasper encouraged him to talk. Indeed, without paying any attention, the wizard was stroking his forearms and sides, calming his vampire and allowing him to process his emotions. The vampire was also curious to know what Harry had experienced just before their meeting, but the wizard was not fooled and felt the tension in Jasper's body when he spoke of George and Ginny.

Each time, he paused in his tale to place a kiss on his neck, cheek or lips, so that Jasper finished stretching out the back of the sun lounger, slid Harry underneath him and stood over him, inches from his face. He wanted to devour that mouth, to discover that body that was driving him crazy. He came close to ripping off the young man's clothes when his erection made contact with his thigh, but Harry closed the distance between them to kiss him full on the lips. Both moaned into the kiss, but it was the only one exchanged.

"Will you stay with me while I sleep?" breathed Harry.

He knew that if he didn't stop kissing the vampire right now, he wouldn't find the will to stop him and they'd end up making love on that sun lounger.

"Of course," replied Jasper, who, despite his disappointment, understood and respected the young man's choice.

"I've never slept as well as I did last night," Harry whispered again, turning on his side.

This sentence warmed the dead heart of the vampire, who slid behind his mate and took him in his arms. The wizard fell fast asleep, more serene than he'd ever been.