"I thought that you said that Florida cases were the bad ones?" Alex muttered as she collapsed onto the bed and stared at her feet. She was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that there were clearly two unsubs at play, since the level of depravity behind the two deaths was so different. She was almost grateful that one of the unsubs had dispatched the victim before dragging him behind the vehicle, since that meant he hadn't experienced the hell that the other victim had.
"Normally, they are," JJ replied as she plopped down onto her bed, falling back to stare up at the ceiling as she drew in a few deep breaths. "I think that I'm going to update my list."
"List?" she asked as she flopped back as well, finding comfort in the blankness of the ceiling as she listened to JJ speak.
"Yeah, my list of ways I don't want to die. Don't you have a list like that?"
"No, I've never really given it much thought."
"I have. I thought that drowning would be the worst way to die, since it's like suffocation, but worse. This case, though? Makes me rethink that idea. I cannot begin to imagine a worse way to die than to be dragged behind a moving vehicle, knowing that there is no way to escape and hoping that death comes quickly, even though you know it won't."
Alex nodded, thinking about what she had seen at the morgue. "Now that I am taking time to think about it, I suppose that that would have to rank as my number one least preferred way to die. I always wanted to die in my sleep, in my old age, like it seems my father will." She took a deep breath, wondering if she should continue that thought or not. A part of her wanted to open up to JJ, to let her know how draining it had been to watch her mother die, but knew that she didn't quite trust the woman enough with that information just yet. It was still such a sore spot on her heart, even thirty years out from her death. "Though being eaten by a shark wouldn't be that bad. Would it?"
JJ chuckled, and Alex turned over on her side to look at the younger woman. It didn't surprise her to see that JJ had done the same, and she was actually giving Alex a tremulous smile. "Usually, it's Spence that makes me smile after horrible cases like this. Maybe he picked it up from you, since he was your protégé."
"Perhaps. So, what do you think? Eaten by a shark?"
"What about falling into lava? That would be quick and painless."
"No, there's something about a warm death that terrifies me. I've always been put off by fire. Not a phobia or fear, per se, but perhaps the best word would be unnerved?"
"I get that, yes. Um, I hate to ask this of you, but I would love to talk and decompress with Will. And I do mean decompress. Would you mind taking a shower? For about thirty minutes?"
Alex blushed a little as it dawned on her what exactly JJ was asking of her, and she nodded sharply as she slipped off the bed, grabbing her phone, a charging bank, and her headphones out of her bag. "I actually think a long bath is in order. It will be nice to listen to some music and relax as I shut out the world." JJ gave her a quick smile as she made her way over to the bathroom, setting her things down on the counter before hurrying back into the bedroom to grab her pyjamas to change into once she was finished bathing.
She tried to ignore the fact that JJ was already stripping down to her underwear as she turned and fairly ran back into the bathroom, closing the door with a dull thud and resting against it for a moment to catch her breath and try to excise that sight from her brain. Slowly, she stripped off her clothes and folded them on the counter before starting the water running, wanting to get it to the perfect temperature before she sank into it. While that was going on, she queued up an audiobook by one of her favourite narrators and plugged her headphones and the charging bank into her phone, starting the story while she got comfortable in the bath.
The water was so nice that Alex lost herself in the story, adding warmer water whenever she got a little too cold, until a rather insistent knocking came on the door. Pausing the book, Alex tugged her headphones off and turned to face the door, making certain that the tub covered any important bits of her body before answering. "Yes, JJ?"
"Are you almost finished? I'd like to take a shower, and you've been in there for like, two hours."
"Oh, shit, I completely lost track of time. Give me ten minutes to dry off and dress?"
"All right."
She listened to JJ move away from the door before she pulled the plug on the drain, allowing the water to empty a little before she stood up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her body as she stepped out onto the rug and quickly dried off before stepping into her pyjama pants and pulled on her top. Her skin was a little damp still, causing her clothes to cling a little to her skin, and she shook her head a little as she brushed her teeth and then pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail before exiting. "Sorry it took so long, I just lost myself in a good book."
"It happens to the best of us." JJ gave her a little smile as they switched places, and again, Alex tried to ignore the fact that the younger woman was in a state of dishabille as they moved past each other. She knew that she eventually she'd grow accustomed to the fact that JJ was so casual with how much skin she exposed when they were alone, and maybe she'd feel a little freer with her own body, since they were both married, and so showing a little skin didn't matter, truly, in the scheme of things.
As she set her bag on the floor at the foot of her bed, she pulled out her adaptor, so that she could plug her phone into the socket to charge overnight. Once that task was accomplished, she slipped beneath the covers and tried to calm her mind enough so that she could sleep. It had truly been a long day, and she wanted to forget the sights she had seen alongside Rossi in the coroner's office. Still, a tiny part of her heart wished that she had Louise's number so that she could call her that evening, as she desperately wanted to hear her voice.
Sighing, Alex turned onto her side and pulled the spare pillow tightly to her chest as she tried to talk her mind into going blank, into thinking of nothing, in an effort to go to sleep. Somehow, she was successful in her endeavors, as she barely heard JJ reenter the room and turn off the lights before she, too, settled into bed. Her sleep was light, though, which was why she heard her phone rumble against the wood of the nightstand as she pulled herself away from the sweet arms of slumber.
"Louise?" she murmured as quietly as she possibly could as she slipped out of bed, carrying the pillow and blanket with her as she made her way out onto the balcony, collapsing into the chair as she pulled the blanket around her legs and then hugged the pillow to her chest with her spare arms. "Please, tell me that it's you."
"It is, dear. Who else would call you at this time of night besides James?"
"I know, I'm just feeling a little…" Before she could get any more words out, to her horror, she burst into soft tears.
"You're feeling a little sad. Is it the case?" Alex nodded, hoping beyond hope that Louise could hear the motion. "Oh, Alex. Let me comfort you for a little while until you can find the words to tell me why you're so heartbroken."
"Okay," she whispered brokenly, listening to Louise sigh lightly.
"So, it was a beautiful day here on the East Coast. The sun shone so brightly, even if the nip of fall is in the air. Though my parents would always tease me that autumn in Quantico is nothing like the autumn's back home in Massachusetts. I spent a little time in my garden, preparing it for the coming winter, and managed to see two cardinals. They'll always be my favorite bird."
"That's my favorite bird, too. Probably because it was my mom's," she said, her voice not quite so broken in that moment. "How strange that we would both prefer that bird."
"Not really. It's a fairly common bird to have as a favorite. Now, if we were both to say that the blue footed booby was our favourite bird, then I would call it strange." Alex smothered a giggle, and Louise also let out a small laugh. "I thought that might put a small smile in your heart. Anyway, I decided that this was the year to put out a bird feeder and a heated birdbath, so that I might have visitors even when it's somewhat bleak here."
"I wish that I was home enough to enjoy having a bird feeder, but between being in the field and teaching, I never get to be home when it's light out."
"That is one of the drawbacks of your jobs. There's always the weekends?"
"I suppose. And I could always pay one of the neighbor kids to fill the feeder when I'm away."
"There you go, always finding a solution to a problem. And you're sounding a little better. Would you like to discuss why you're feeling so off balance?"
Alex took a deep breath as she hugged the pillow closer once more. "There is something about the idea of being dragged to your death behind a vehicle that unnerves me entirely, and I've let that get beneath my skin. Rossi and I went to the coroner's office to be briefed on what happened, and seeing the state of the bodies…" Her voice broke as she thought about what she had seen. "I'm glad that it was us who went to the morgue, though. JJ shouldn't have to worry about seeing that in person. The pictures were bad enough."
"You sound protective of Agent Jareau."
"I am. She reminds me of a slightly more feisty Erin, though I would never tell her as such. I get the feeling that there might be a bit of bad blood between the two of them, and at this point, I'd rather keep the burgeoning relationship with JJ than to upset the delicate balance I have with everyone on the team by suggesting that there is that small connection."
"Yes, that does make sense. So, do you think that this will be a long case?"
"I hope not, but I have that feeling that it is going to devolve quickly into chaos. Those feelings are the worst, you know? Impending doom is not a good thing to have hanging around in your brain when you're trying to bring unsubs to justice."
"Unsubs?"
"Yes, we think that there are two working together, since there was a stark difference between the one victim was alive and dragged, and the other, mercifully, killed beforehand." She shivered and pulled her legs up onto the chair, even though it wasn't the most comfortable, since she wanted to be warmer. "I just can't imagine that level of cruelty."
"Humans are amazingly good at being cruel, even in little things. We don't mean to be, oftentimes, but casual cruelty can be quite easy to allow in our lives. And then we sometimes spend decades trying to make amends for those cruelties, even if they're not accepted." Louise took a deep breath before speaking once more. "Now, it's late, for both of us, and you need to rest to be prepared for whatever the morning brings. Sleep well, Alex."
"You as well, Louise," she replied before ending the call, cradling the phone to her chest as she pondered Louise's last words to her, wondering what she had been thinking about in that moment. And she decided to file it away for asking her about in a later call, when she wasn't quite so tired mentally and physically. Getting to her feet, she went back inside and collapsed on the bed, falling quickly asleep soon after she had plugged her phone back in.