Christmas Eve came more quickly than Alex had anticipated, though she assumed that was because she had nothing more to dread about tomorrow. Her gift to Erin was wrapped and ready to drop off on her porch tomorrow before she went out to a movie, so anticipation was seemingly making the hours fly by like minutes. A small part of her heart wondered if Erin would call at midnight, since she was mostly likely going to an early morning Mass with Rossi, and might try to reach out before she headed into that, even if just to wish Alex a happy holiday, and Alex knew that she would be content with that.

And then, two minutes to midnight, her doorbell rang, and she frowned a little as she got to her feet. There was no reason for anyone to be on her doorstep this late in the evening, and James was still overseas, he wouldn't surprise her like that, with no warning. Or at least she hoped so. Drawing in a few shallow breaths, she turned the porch light on before glancing out the window to see who was there. "Erin," she breathed out when she recognized her familiar blonde head, and she hurriedly wrenched open the door and gave the woman a broad smile. "Merry Christmas?"

"Merry Christmas. David decided that he didn't want to head to the Midnight Mass this year, so I was free to come deliver this. I can go, if you want."

Alex shook her head, stepping away from the door and gesturing for Erin to enter. Once she was inside, Alex closed the door and locked it once more before taking Erin's coat and hanging it on the tree. "Follow me into the living room?"

"Of course." Alex gave Erin another happy smile before heading into her living room, hearing Erin follow closely behind her. She took a seat on the sofa, looking between the wrapped gift on the coffee table and the woman, wondering if she should be so forward as to just thrust the present into her hands before starting to babble away. Erin let out a small sigh of pleasure as she stared at the present as she took a seat. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who brought a gift."

Opening her purse, Erin pulled out a slim, prettily wrapped, present, handing it over to her. Alex tried not to shiver a little at the way their fingers brushed as she took the present, though she knew that she was blushing from the heat that filled her cheeks as she set the gift in her lap. Leaning over, she picked up the box and gave it to Erin. "Since it is officially Christmas, do you want to open them now?"

"Yes. I was hoping that you would open my gift before I went home, so receiving something from you is a delight."

Alex looked up into Erin's face, seeing that there was a dreamy, faraway, expression there. Unable to stop herself, she reached out and cupped Erin's face with her hand, her thumb stroking along Erin's cheekbone. "I think that we need to talk. I spoke with James, and he suggested that we take time to do so, face to face. Would you have time for that tonight, or do you need to head home to Rossi?"

Erin licked her lips before pressing her cheek into the palm of Alex's hand. "I have time, David doesn't expect me over at his home until this afternoon, when we have Christmas together with my children. I'm yours for about twelve hours. If you want me that long."

"I want you for longer," she murmured, hoping that Erin wouldn't hear her as she pulled her hand away and touched her present once more.

"I know, but we're not going to talk about that right now. That's a conversation for a little later, perhaps?"

Alex nodded, her lower lip wobbling a little as she began to fiddle with present, tugging on the satin ribbon and undoing the lovely bow that Erin had created before carefully unwrapping the present, watching Erin follow suit on the gift Alex had chosen for her. "Erin…"

"I know, but I wanted to give you something lovely. Penelope creates the most gorgeous knitted items, and I used my memory of what colours you loved to order that for you. She doesn't know that it was for you when she made it, but I don't care if you wear it to work and she comments on it. It turned out so lovely that I want everyone to see it on you." She gave Erin another dumb nod as she wrapped the scarf around her neck, marveling at the soft, silky, feel of the yarn. It was indeed made of her favourite shades of blue and periwinkle, and she felt tears pool in her eyes as she looked up to watch Erin open her gift. "Lexie, this is too dear."

"It's too impersonal."

Erin shook her head as she caressed the Mont Blanc pen and ink well set. "No, you remembered that I told you I was going to own one of these pens, someday. No one ever thought to purchase one for me, and I didn't feel right getting one for myself. Not when they're so dear, and I had my children to think of. You even got my favourite color. Darling, thank you."

Erin was the first of them to start crying, and her tears prodded Alex to start crying as well. As Erin set the pen set on the coffee table, she then leaned in and wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, burying her face in her hair as her shoulders shook with the force of her tears. "Do you want to head up to my bedroom to talk? Really talk?"

"I'd like that, Lexie." Pushing away from Alex, Erin wiped her hands across her cheeks, clearing her skin free from tears. "I didn't bring any nightclothes."

"You can wear something of mine."

Erin gave her a wobbly smile as she shrugged. "Just like when we were back in the Academy?" Alex nodded, and the smile on Erin's lips evened out as she took hold of Alex's hand. "Lead the way." She swallowed thickly as they made their way upstairs, her grip on Erin's hand never loosening, as if she thought that she might lose her if she dropped her hand. As soon as they were in her bedroom, though, Erin gently pulled her hand away as she went over to the bed and Alex went over to the dresser, pulling out another set of pyjamas for Erin to wear.

"You can change in the bathroom, while I get the bed ready for us," she said as she passed the outfit to Erin. Her friend nodded and rose to her feet once more, heading straight for the master bathroom and disappearing behind the door. Alex sighed lightly as she stuck the decorative pillows on the chest at the foot of the bed before pulling back the covers and crawling into her usual side of the bed. That also hadn't changed since their days at the Academy, and she chuckled a little at how much of a creature of habit she was. It didn't take too long for Erin to rejoin her, and it was hard to not to chuckle to see that the nightgown she'd given her was just a little too long. There was a three inch height difference between them that was highlighted by the way the pyjamas hung on her body.

"It's okay to laugh, Lexie. You've just always been taller than me." She padded over to the bed and sank down onto the bed, stretching out next to Alex before tucking her hands beneath her cheek as she settled her head on the pillow. "So, this is the Christmas where we finally make up. I'm not going to lie, I have been waiting for this day for too long. Alan never understood why I would keep reaching out every year around this time, since it always ached to have your card returned to sender."

"I couldn't accept your cards when I was so angry. But it only took four months for Louise to work her way beneath my defenses and get me to see that you've changed and for the better."

"Rock bottom hurts. I know that we've talked about what happened to me in the last year, but I keep coming back around to it because it is such a pivotal role in my life. I don't know what would have happened if Agent Morgan hadn't been such a bastard about my drinking on that case. I realise, now, that he had every right to be infuriated with my behaviour, but when I was in the moment? It just felt like everything was crashing down around my ears and that I deserved to lose everything I had because of how I treated you. Which is why making amends with you became that much more important to me once I left rehab. I couldn't die with this acrimony between us. And I was hoping beyond hope that given enough time, we'd get to this place once more. Not that I ever imagined we'd blow past friendship into something more nebulous and scary, but here we are."

Alex nodded and slipped her arm around Erin's waist as she thought of what to say in reply. "It is scary to know that we're treading on thin ice of our own making, yes. Because I do love James, and you do love Rossi, but there are these feelings between us that we need to acknowledge. And I know, you don't want to talk about this topic tonight, because it will make us both sad, and I don't want to make you sad tonight, not when it took such courage to come to my house, not knowing if I'd let you in."

"I'm glad that you did, Lexie." A fragile silence fell between them as Erin stared at her chin, as if she didn't want to look into Alex's eyes. That was her tell that things were getting a little too close for comfort, and Alex rubbed her thumb up and down the dip of Erin's waist as she leaned in and pressed her lips to the top of her forehead, tasting more hair than skin. "I want so badly to ask you something, something that I have no right to, especially not since we're still with our respective partners."

"And I want to say yes to that request, but I know that you are nothing if not faithful. So for tonight, this will have to do, because this is as close as we can get before we cross a line that we can't return to." Erin lifted her eyes so that she was looking at Alex, a shaky smile spreading across her lips as she waited for what Alex was going to do. It was so easy, too easy, to lower her face and brush her lips against Erin's in the softest of kisses. Alex felt more than heard the way Erin sighed against her lips, and then Erin was following her into the kiss, allowing it to deepen naturally. There wasn't any frenzy of passion, like most people would think would be the result of something as forbidden as a kiss from someone who wasn't your partner, but there was such a feeling of rightness to the touch that Alex found she didn't want to pull away.

The kiss lasted for so long, and then Erin was pulling away, tears sparkling in her eyes as she reached out and caressed Alex's cheek. "That was so sweet, Alex. But we can't go further, can we?"

She shook her head as she pressed Erin's hand more tightly to her cheek as she let out a long, sad, breath. "No. We wouldn't be able to live with ourselves if we decided to share anything more than that kiss. We should sleep now, so that we don't tempt ourselves further. Yes?"

"Yes." Erin's smile widened for just a moment before she brushed another, soft, kiss to Alex's cheek before pulling her hand back and placing it beneath her cheek once more. "Merry Christmas, Alex."

"Merry Christmas, Erin," she replied, watching the woman easily fall asleep. It took Alex a little longer to follow the call for slumber, as she thought about how they were now growing closer and closer to the point of no return, and the people that they could end up hurting would be more than she wanted on her heart in that moment.