"I can't believe you wouldn't come to me with this!" Zeus boomed, pacing in front of his throne while Hera sat on her own. "You included Athena, but not me? Why not?"

"You were… busy today. Weren't you?"

"Only a little. We could've set that aside for you," Hera said.

"This is your first major battle, and I found out halfway through!" Zeus folded his arms. "What got into you, anyway? A war? Why did that have anything to do with you?"

"Well… see… I met this… girl…"

"A girl!" Zeus and Hera chorused together.

"You met someone?" Hera gasped. "Who is she?"

"And what does she have to do with this war?"

Hercules chewed his lip, but he decided it was time to let it out. "She's the princess of Thebes, and she came to me because it's not fair that Ares has been cursing them since they were founded. If nobody did anything, the seven armies were going to wipe out the whole city. Neither of you was going to do anything, so I don't see why it's a problem that I did."

"You've never shown an interest in war. We didn't expect this from you," Zeus said. "You jumped into Ares's domain with no warning and publicly humiliated him. There were Spartans who saw him fall, you know."

"Maybe they'll develop a personality outside freakish militarism now that they've seen he's not the greatest ever," Hercules suggested.

A zap of smoky flame preempted the arrival of Hades. "And what about me, huh? Did you consider what a disappointment it would be for me to set up a whole wing of the Underworld, and then you kept it empty?"

"Hades, this isn't about that," Zeus scolded his brother gently.

"You really shouldn't want people to die," Hera remarked.

"I'm sorry. Isn't death the domain I was so graciously gifted by– wait, who was it? Oh yeah! You!" he snarled at Zeus.

"It was so long ago! Are you really still bitter about that?" Hera sighed.

"It only gets worse with every passing year, so yeah! I'm still bitter. I get no respect for this job, but you keep insisting I do it!"

"What else are you good for, exactly?" Hercules snapped.

"Excuse me?" The fire in Hades's hair went out briefly, and he stared wide-eyed at Hercules. Then that fire flared back up, red this time. "I'm not the one in trouble right now! How dare you talk to me like that?"

"I'm the guy with the moral high ground, and you're the one obsessed with killing people," Hercules shot back. "Are you honestly going to try and convince people that you don't belong in the Underworld? What else would you do with yourself? Become a god of disease? That's the only way I could think of you getting to enjoy your favorite pastime. We already have a goddess of violent deaths, and I'm sure she's not having too great of a time, either."

"Hades, Hercules, we're family. We ought to get along," Zeus said. He grabbed each of them under one massive arm and enforced a bear hug of friendship. "Now, Hades, you know the rules. You accommodate the dead souls. You don't get to try and kill people."

Hades glared at Zeus. "Did you miss the part where he also ended the curse on Thebes? How he just prevented years' worth of natural disasters and tragedies that were going to bring me so many more souls?"

"Yeah. It's called being a hero," Hercules shot back. "Maybe we should both do our jobs and do a little less complaining about it."

Hades flared up again and broke away from Zeus. "You think just because you're the golden boy around here, you can step on everybody's toes?"

"Do you even have toes?" Hercules asked.

Hades gagged on his own irritation.

"If you and Ares had succeeded today and wiped out all of Thebes, then those other disasters would also stop. Did you think about that when you were planning your genocide?"

"You know what? No. And I also don't need a curse to start any of those. All I need is a little vacation to Po-Po's palace when he's in a bad mood."

"Hey! You really shouldn't admit things like that in front of me," Zeus said. "I'll punish both of you for wanton acts of murder like that!"

"Ah!" Hades pressed a hand to his chest and pretended to laugh. "Did I say I would make him do anything? Po-Po is such a wise ruler of the seas. He doesn't need anyone to influence him. He can choose when to flood or not to flood the seas!"

"Call Posiedon up here," Hera said. "We should have a talk with him about his erratic usage of the seas. There are domain errors here that must be addressed before they cause mortals undue distress."

"What is it with you and mortals?" Hades demanded sourly. "They die so quickly anyway. What's the point of getting invested?"

Hercules was about to answer when he heard that same voice that had initially drawn him to earth speak directly in his ear.

"Thanks again. You're officially my favorite Olympian."

And then he felt a sensation he'd only experienced when his mother thought he'd done something cute as a child. Since he was a god, his childhood had been short.

It was an innocent kiss on his cheek, but it still thrilled him, so much so that he could leap high enough to make a loop over the moon. He'd cry out in joy and throw his arms into the air if only he weren't in such a tense conversation with his family.

Megara had kissed him! The sweet innocence of the gesture left him unable to fully shield his glee.

"Hercules? What's gotten into you?" Hera asked, ever attentive to her son.

Hercules closed his eyes, swaying as if he were drunk. "Heh… um… Can I go…? I just heard back from a petitioner, and uh…" he released a stream of laughter that probably made him sound drunk on top of looking like it.

With his eyes closed, he could see through the eyes of his statue at Thebes. There was Megara, with her wide violet eyes and shining touseled hair.

He hadn't thought she could be more beautiful than the first time he saw her, but now he'd been proven wrong. So blissfully wrong… She was blushing and whispered now to him, "I'm sorry if that was too much, but it was all I could think of. Unless you can think of some service I could do in your name… but then again, all of Thebes is in your debt, so we could try and pool our resources. Would you like a new temple? We could get you one of your own to celebrate your victory."

He didn't need her to give him anything or do anything for him. He'd treasure this feeling for all of eternity.

"Something is wrong with that kid! Have you had someone check him?" Hades asked.

"Come on, he's just… happy…" Zeus nudged Hercules. "Wake up, son! We're going to call Ares and try to talk him down."

"Wha…?" Hercules's voice had gone soft and breathy. He thought he'd lose feeling in his legs and fall over.

"You took a sudden turn," Hera said. "We're worried about you. What's happened to you in the last few minutes?"

"Oh, I… have to go… I'll explain later." He chuckled one more time, then abandoned Olympus.

He couldn't keep Megara waiting. She might wander off.