On the way to Josss apartment Johns memory slipped back to earlier this morning, when Finch noticed the lipstick mark on his neck. Maybe the situation had been a sign that it was time to lay his cards open. While a part of him wanted to keep their relationship secret for a little longer, a burdening feeling of hiding the truth from his partner grew with each day. After all it was the unconditional trust in each other that wasnt only essential regarding to their work but also turned their initial camaraderie into a unique friendship over time. Feeling oddly relieved now, he had made a stop to get one of Josss favorite dishes after a long workday as he knew. If a feeling of safety could help a faster recovery, so would soul food, he hoped. Armed with a bowl of Chop Suey he had made his further way to her place, when she opened the door in surprise.

"Thought a warm meal wouldnt hurt", he handed over the bag with its hot content.
Joss shook her head in disbelief.

"You guys are crazy, do you know that? Your boss already provided me with some reading material earlier today and now you deliver me food. You shouldnt have wasted your time to come here, though. Im sure theres still something in the fridge", she pointed toward the kitchen. "If only I could convince myself to have a look for it."

"Problem solved", John stated as a matter of fact.

Observing a short smile on her face she asked him to come in."

Grab a fork if youre hungry. This portion seems like a lot more than I could handle", she weighed the content of the bag in her hands. "Even though I had to convince Taylor that Im okay on my own, he now is out for an all-nighter University project and wont be home until tomorrow."

For a while they just chatted about no specific topic as they shared the food, when John put his plate aside.

"Fusco caught the guy who smacked you down. Hell be in jail for quite a bit", he let her know.

"Thats good to hear. Unfortunately it doesnt help to return my memory or to get rid this damn headache thats driving me nuts."

Taking a moment, he studied the face of the woman he loved.

"How are you beside the concussion?", he asked in a serious tone.

Joss shrugged shoulders as she evaded his glance.

"For whatever reason its a question hard to answer."

Putting aside her plate as well, she took a deep breath.

"Everything is so confusing. Its like I lost a part of myself. Honestly, I feel like a broken hard drive that cant access the relevant data. All I have is fragments that dont make sense and Im not even sure if I can trust these flings."

"Youll remember eventually. Theres no injury that would cause a longtime damage as the Doctor told."

"But what if I wont? What, if something is holding back my memory on purpose?"

John couldnt deny a similar thought already. Due to her past experiences in which she not only lost Beecher and jobwise nearly got shot more than once, it could be a subconscious self-protection mechanism to shield her from more harm.

"Why do you think so?", he asked nonetheless.

"I dont know."

Seeing her take another deep breath, she now looked at him directly.

"I know that it might sound insane but somehow it feels like something is negating my memory for a reason. Its like I need to remember something specific to unlock it all, but I have no clue what it is or how to find out."

In a helpless gesture she rubbed her forehead, shaking it once more.

"I hate to feel so helpless that I just dont know what to do… I mean, I… just dont know…"

The breaking of her voice felt like a stab to Johns heart. All he wanted to do was to hold and comfort her; to let her know that everything would be okay. Unsure how far to go not to worsen her emotional turmoil, he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Something Ive learned is that there are no short keys in life. As much as we want to make something happen, certain things take time."

"Sounds like something Ive already heard earlier today… and like straight out of a fortune cookie", she smirked.

"Maybe I missed my profession then."

Receiving another smile, a sudden uneasiness settled in her glance.

"If I ask you something, will you be upright honest with me? Even if I embarrass myself to the bones?"

Raising an eyebrow, John changed his position.

"Youre not going to ask me if a pink Cadillac would suit you?"

Joss chuckled. "Dont worry, it wont be that bad."

Watching her grab for something at the side table next to the couch, she held an opened lipstick in front of him.

John wasnt sure if she was actually talking to him or more to herself, when she finally faced him again. Obviously searching for a reaction -or an answer- to her unspoken question, he knew that even though rationality told him to give her space to recover first, it was now the time to listen to his heart.

"Even though your memory is still on hold, your subconscious seems to do the math already", he concluded.

Observing how her mouth opened without a word coming out, she just stared at him with a puzzled expression.

"You were right. The pink Cadillac question would have been the worse one", he tried to ease the tension that suddenly filled the room.

Luck on his site his action went to plan as she shook her head, trying to hide a smile.

"At least now I finally get Mr. Finchs weird reaction when I mentioned the lipstick mark."

"Probably I should pay more attention to my appearance next time but lets say… I was distracted."

John couldnt help but smirk at the memory how she was the distraction.
Hold the vision until were back, she had placed the treasonable kiss on his throat -and so accidently on his shirt- before they both left to work.

"Why havent you said anything?", she pulled him back to reality in a more serious tone.

"What should I have said? Thought that hello, Im John, were a couple since two weeks might not be the right fit."

"Two weeks?", Joss asked in surprise. "But we know each other longer, dont we? I mean, you seem to know me pretty well."

"Almost three years."

"Well, at least we cant say that we hurried things", she stated almost amused.

"A thing I sometimes regret."

The words came out faster than he realized. In fact, it felt like the both of them were pushing away what was meant to be out of fear for far too long. While he knew that forcing things would never end up good, he felt like he had wasted time by dwelling on demons of his past. Without a doubt the past two weeks were the happiest he felt in years. While a part of him was afraid that fortune would evade him once again, he felt bald for the egoistic thought. In this moment her health was all that mattered.

"Im sorry", Joss interrupted his train of thoughts.

Confused by her statement, John frowned.

"Obviously this isnt just about me", she declared. "All of this is also affecting you and I havent had a clue."

"Still cant see a reason to be sorry for."

Another smile on her face before she turned serious again.

"What if I wont remember … us?"

Taking a moment, he eventually smiled a teasing grin.

"Are you afraid youd get rid of me so easily?"

Observing her expression softening, she grabbed his hand, gently stroking his fingers with her thumb.
For a moment they remained quiet in a mutual agreement, just looking each other when John saw an exhaustion coming back to her face.

"I should go. Its late and you need rest", he stated, as a sudden fear arose in her eyes.

"Whats wrong?", he asked.

Waiting out her hesitation, she pulled back her hand.

"Nothing. Its just that the thought of being alone with all these questions spinning over and over in my head unsettle me. Its not your fault", she shook her head.

Going through his options John got up the couch.

"Theres a shirt in my car. I will sleep on the floor", he remembered the casual clothes from his last undercover case.

Not giving her a chance to answer he headed out the door, leaving Joss with a baffled expression.