The end-of-summer goodbyes were made piecemeal throughout the rest of the birthday party night and the next morning. People came and went, hugs were bestowed, and Molly of course made sure everyone left with rucksacks and pockets full of food. It had been quite emotional for everyone to see Harry, Ron, and Hermione hug each other as a trio, to be parted for the first time since Ron had left during the early winter of their time on the run. It made Lupin's heart ache to watch the three clutch each other fiercely, about to take their different paths, but knowing at the very least that they would be reunited again sometime soon.
It made him think of two friends of his who he'd loved dearly, and who he'd never have the opportunity to hug again. As boys and then men, they'd never hugged as much as they should've. They hadn't known what little time they'd have together, and how little time they'd have to express their affection for each other.
At least these three would, clearly, never take that for granted.
Lupin exited the Burrow after profusely thanking Molly and Arthur for their hospitality ("Oh, hush," Molly had said, swatting his chest), floating his trunk alongside him as he scanned the area for the last person he had to bid farewell: Hermione. He hadn't seen her after breakfast that morning, and his stomach flipped as he wondered if she'd simply left without seeking him out. He hadn't told her about his return to Hogwarts, so she surely didn't know she'd be seeing him anyway…but perhaps she was purposefully avoiding him? Lupin swallowed, concerned. The night before in the shed when he'd given her the necklace had seemed…strangely charged, sparking fiercely in the way Muggle electricity did.
It made him uncomfortable. Maybe he'd made her uncomfortable.
Sighing, he gave up on his search and headed over to the ledge at the edge of the orchard to look over the fields one last time before leaving for the school year. He'd decided to Apparate this year, as he didn't have the desire to share the Hogwarts Express with anyone on the way this time. It was much easier to simply Apparate to the designated point at Hogsmeade Station and go from there. Easier, of course, in that he didn't have to speak or engage with anyone before he reached the castle.
It didn't take long for Lupin to spot a figure sitting on the ledge with a couple of trunks next to them, and with a thudding feeling in his chest, he realized it was Hermione. He coughed, and she turned, startled. "Sorry," he stammered, "didn't mean to surprise you."
"That's alright," Hermione responded, getting up and brushing off the backs of her jeans. "Was just…"
"Taking it in?" He finished. She nodded.
"Dunno when I'll be back. Won't be as lovely as this til next summer, at the very least." She leaned against one of her trunks and crossed her arms. "Not heading to King's Cross, I take it?"
Lupin tilted his head at her, confused. Why would she think I'm going there? "I don't know what you mean."
Hermione'e eyes widened, as if at some realization, then blinked the expression away. "I…I know you're going back to Hogwarts this year."
Lupin sighed and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "How's that?"
The girl shrugged back at him. "Figured it out. After…McGonagall came here."
"Well. Yes. She asked if I'd be DADA teacher again. Didn't feel like I could say no, really."
"Would you have?" Hermione enquired.
Lupin coughed again. He hated the nervous feeling that had overtaken him since the night before. "I…don't know. I'm not sure I'm the right one for the job."
"You don't trust McGonagall's judgment?" Hermione absently flicked the lock on her trunk, back and forth, and the metal lightly scratch scratched across the nicked and worn cherry wood.
He frowned. "I didn't say that."
"Then what?"
What, indeed? "It's going to be a large responsibility this year. I'm not sure I'm up to the task. I can try."
"'Do, or do not. There is no try,'" responded the witch, cryptically.
"Pardon?"
She shook her head. "Quote from a Muggle movie my…my dad, loved. Loves." She flicked the lock back and forth faster. "I mean, I assume he still does."
His heart wrenched thinking about how hard it must be for her to have orphaned herself of her parents' memories, and having to stay the course until it was certain they would be safe once she restored their memories. If she could at all. "Hermione…"
"I'm Apparating too," was all she said.
He nodded. "Right. Well, shall we then?"
She nodded back and took one last look over the peaceful, sweeping countryside. It almost seemed like she was dreading what was to come as much as him. At least this was her choice, he thought to himself. She wanted to go back.
After a moment, both they and their belongings had vanished off of the ledge with a small doubled pop.
They arrived at Hogsmeade Station precisely when they were meant to, along with the other teachers and of-age students who had taken the Apparition test and decided to skip the Hogwarts Express this year. The smell of pine and lake water rushed into Lupin's nose as he returned to existence on the platform, and he saw Hermione stumble forward a moment after him, her trunks clattering to the ground. Many carriages were lined up on the track in front of them, and Lupin watched the large winged black beasts tethered to those carriages snort and scrape their hooves on the dirt in front of them, waiting to pull their passengers to their eventual destination. He had been shocked to see them when he'd returned to Hogwarts a few years prior to become a professor, as he had assumed like most did throughout his school years that the carriages were self-propelled. Once he learned that they were only visible to those who had witnessed death, however, it began making a lot more sense to him.
He looked over at Hermione, about to ask if she wanted to share a carriage, when he was struck mute by the expression on her face. She stared ahead at the closest Thestral in horror, eyes glassy and fixed on the huge leathery black wing the creature was flexing, in and out. Lupin saw her breathing quicken and chest heave, and then her mouth trembled, slack and speechless. It hit him, all at once: she had never seen them before, despite knowing what they were. Despite even having ridden them. She'd never seen them…until now. And she knew what that meant.
The girl's knuckles went white around her wand, and Lupin feared she would faint. It was clear she was in the midst of panic, and he didn't know how to help. Instinctively, he put a hand on her back to steady her, and he felt that it was just as well, because she swayed precariously against his palm as he did. More and more people were popping into sight on the platform, and in a rushed look around the area Lupin saw that many of them were having similar reactions as Hermione's. It was relatively rare to be able to see Thestrals - after all, how often does anyone see another being die? But after the past year, and certainly the Battle of Hogwarts, so many more had. Too many more. It was terrible to see. Professors and students both gazed at the beasts; a couple of them started to cry. He saw Hermione was close, too. "Hey," he whispered, gently guiding her to sit on one of the trunks. "It's alright."
"I'm…I'm sorry," she responded, dazed and staring into the middle distance. "It was just…"
"You know what seeing them means," he finished. She swallowed hard, and nodded.
"It's such…tangible proof of…what's happened," she muttered. He understood. It was seeing the horror of the last few years made corporeal right in front of your face. There was the you before the horror, and the you after. The horror could be over, but you…you're changed forever. There was no going back to innocence.
"They're a lot nicer than they look," Lupin said comfortingly. "I mean, you've ridden them before, you know. But they do have a rather…frightening appearance." He unwrapped a Honeydukes chocolate from his pocket and handed it to her. "There's also the fact that they're attracted by blood."
Hermione took the chocolate and gnawed off a corner. "There's prejudice against them," she said slowly.
"Yes. Similar to the Grim, I'd imagine. Because of what they mean and, well, again, they're a bit scary-looking." He sat beside her on the large trunk as she kept nibbling at the sweet.
"It'll never be normal, will it?" she enquired. She asked this so quietly and without even looking; Lupin hadn't even been sure she'd spoken to him until she paused her eating for his answer.
"The world? Life? Hard to say. What was normal for everyone the last decade or so was abnormal for those who had dealt with the war before it. One person's 'normal' is another's chaos. My 'normal' involves turning into a werewolf every full moon. To you, I imagine that would be quite unusual." He smiled at her, hopefully, and swore he could spot the corner of her mouth quirk up minutely in a returned almost-smile at this. That'll be the best I'll get at this point, he thought. Those around them had gotten over the shock of seeing the Thestrals and began boarding the carriages. Lupin stood and pulled Hermione to her feet. "Time to go, I think. Are you alright?"
"I'll manage," she responded, and he helped her into the carriage in front of them, the trunks magically floating away and slotting themselves into the storage area in the boot. Lupin pulled himself into the coach and, mindful of propriety, sat across from Hermione rather than beside her again, with his back to the distant castle. He was about to see Hogwarts plenty in the coming months - he didn't need to experience the grand reveal once again. It would never be the same, anyway.
The Start-of-Term Feast had the usual energy as students poured in to the Great Hall. The First Years were practically bouncing with nerves; the rest of the students were impatiently waiting to dig into their grand meal. But over all of it was a sheer coat of subdued melancholy - not seen in every single corner, but there all the same if you knew where to look. Repairs had begun on the school but while walking in everyone had seen the scarred walls where Unforgivable Curses had bounced off the stone during the Battle; the crumbling piles of rock that hadn't yet been rebuilt into the pillars and archways they'd once been; the torn paintings and tapestries whose subjects had fled into nearby portraits and still-lifes piled neatly on the floor, leaving the walls barer than Lupin had ever seen them, waiting to be magically repaired. The characters from the artworks remained where they'd sought asylum, trembling behind their fellow wizards or an errant wooden wardrobe.
At least the blood had, thankfully, all been scoured away.
Lupin reluctantly took a seat at the end of the long head table and watched Minerva McGonagall get to her feet. She seemed a bit older than she had before; a bit more tentative in her movements...but he could tell she still contained the same steely nerve that he had long admired. Lupin spied the Order of Merlin, First Class pinned to the front of her robes - she had recently been awarded the medal by Minister Shacklebolt, and it glinted as it hung from its green ribbon. The volume of the throng of students decreased, but didn't cease. McGonagall cleared her throat, and most of the room quieted down. As the last mutters lingered, the new Headmistress began to speak.
"Welcome back, students, to a new year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," trilled the Scottish witch over the dying whispers of the crowd. "I hope your summer has been a time of reflection, and of healing." McGonagall took a breath, surveying the room. "I know that, for many of you, it was not easy to return to this place. I hope that, together, we can mend the broken threads of trust to eventually be able to call it 'home' once again.
For some of you, it is your first time here, and I - on behalf of our staff and the entire student body - welcome you as you begin your journey into understanding the ancient art of magic. You have all shown the possibility of greatness, and it is up to you whether to pursue it. If you so choose, we will all be here to guide and support you on your path.
For those continuing, or nearing the end of their magical education, support will come in many different ways, and more than just academic." At this, McGonagall gestured to her left, and Lupin could see her motion was in the direction of a woman sitting in the middle of the other side of the table. The woman wore simple black robes and had her hair pulled back in a low bun, tendrils of auburn hair escaping at either side to frame her bespectacled face. She looked back at McGonagall, giving a small nod. "I invite you to extend a warm welcome to our new staff member, Dr. Felicity Wendt."
A chatter went up around the room, mumbled confusion about who this Wendt woman was and why she was called "doctor" and not "healer". Lupin spotted red-headed Ginny Weasley lean over to Hermione at the Gryffindor table to whisper in her ear, something which Hermione responded with pursed lips and a shake of the head, as if to say: I don't know.
"Yes, Dr. Wendt joins us here from America, where she studied both Muggle medicine and magic across a very impressive program of scholarship that developed into her own particular area of study: Magical Psychiatry. Dr. Wendt is even a recipient of the Flamel Grant for Magical Genius. She will be an invaluable resource for us this year as we navigate our post-War experience. Dr. Wendt will be available to anyone who needs someone to talk to during this time - a counselor, if you will." Wendt gave a small wave and smile at the still-muttering audience, then looked back at McGonagall.
The Headmistress then introduced other new professors and staff members, necessary both to fill in the spaces made vacant by tragedies in the Battle, or created whole-cloth as the docents of new academic subjects. Lupin thought he saw Hermione's eyebrows raise up past her hairline as McGonagall listed the fields of study she'd added to the curriculum this year, including Healing, Magic Theory, and Inter-Being Relations. Hermione's color had paled whiter and whiter as the woman spoke - until, finally, McGonagall assured that all Seventh and Eighth-Year students would not be required to include these new subjects in their NEWTs. This finally made Hermione breathe again, relieved in not having to become an expert in all these new subjects...for testing, at the very least. McGonagall also introduced the rest of the teachers, which included Lupin himself, presented as "Professor Remus Lupin, a previous professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts that returns to us after his time with the Order of the Phoenix." A grumble went up on the Slytherin side of the room undoubtedly begun by Draco Malfoy, who had apparently returned for the year and whose father - the now-jailed Lucius - had instigated Lupin's firing along with other parents after it was discovered that he was a werewolf. McGonagall drew her thin lips into a somehow-thinner line and flashed her eyes at the Slytherins, who quieted down.
At the end of her speech, a misty, faraway look overcame McGonagall, surprising Lupin. She cleared her throat once again, though Lupin suspected this time that it was less to quiet the crowd and more to loosen up a sudden tightness. "A great wizard once said, before one of these feasts, that it was possible to find happiness in even the darkest times, if only one remembers to turn on the light. I ask that you all be the light for each other in the coming days. We will all need to remember that darkness isn't the only way of life, but rather, a foe that can be conquered, one victory at a time. And..." the woman trailed off, a strange smile crossing her face. "I believe this great wizard once also said, 'Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak!'"
A/N: Thank you all so much for reading, it's really amazing seeing this story get any response at all! Any comments or thoughts are extremely welcome, and I hope you're enjoying the story! Song referenced in chapter title is "How it Ends" by DeVotchKa.