Remus read the short letter over and over, absently patting the shabby brown owl that had bravely delivered it to his cabin.

Remus-

Minerva has asked me to visit next week - something about testing the restructured castle defenses. I know you mentioned me visiting this year…looks like it'll be happening sooner rather than later! Would love to drop in on the DADA classes and see what the best and brightest are getting up to now that they don't have to do the whole learning thing in secret.

I was going to stay at the Leaky Cauldron, but if you have somewhere on the grounds that you'd rather me spend my evenings in…do let me know.

Looking forward to seeing you!

-T ❤️

His stomach twisted as he scanned each word: you mentioned me visiting…sooner rather than later…spend my evenings…the final inked heart at the end of the note. He'd been hoping to put this off as long as possible, and yet, here they were, barely past the first couple weeks of term. He didn't want to hurt Tonks; she was a sweet girl, and he'd thought that she had the same understanding of their…well…situation that he had. Taking comfort where it could be taken, in a time where very little was to be enjoyed otherwise.

And yet…he was certain, now, that she had much higher expectations for the continuation of their relationship than he. Someone was going to be burned.

Guilt crept into Lupin's throat like bile as he fed the owl a treat, receiving a gentle nip on the knuckle in response that could've almost been mistaken for affection. He sent it away back to the Owlery with a reminder to himself to utilize that particular one if he ever needed to send correspondence - he hated seeing the other birds shrink away from him as he walked through the drafty room. Animals often did. Just another reminder that he was an outsider, even to creatures that shit on the floor.

Lupin said a small thanks to Merlin that Tonks would be visiting after his first transformation at the castle, due this weekend. However, this would be the last with the benefit of Wolfsbane, as Snape's stores had finally run dry, and in the back of his mind he wondered, Maybe Minerva will let me leave if I can't be controlled. Maybe that would be for the best.

—

Tonks arrived at Hogwarts the day before the first Quidditch match of the season, set earlier than usual, Remus presumed, in a bid to jump-start the feeling of school spirit after such a dire previous year. He'd heard that there were several large parties planned in the Common Rooms, and hoped that maybe there would be some sort of faculty gathering that he could attend with Tonks to limit their alone time together. But upon her entrance, it was clear that she was hoping for all the alone time. Her hair was bright yellow, the color of Hufflepuff, her Hogwarts house; as she strode into the empty DADA classroom where Lupin sat grading essays, she beamed at him with a sparkling happiness that made him bite the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. Why can't I just be what she wants me to be? he thought as she threw her arms around him in a familiar hug. Why can't I be anything other than what I am?

"Tonks," he said, achieving warmth but still exhausted from the previous days' transformations. "It's so good to see you."

"Better to see you," she replied, pulling away somewhat reluctantly and turning to survey the classroom. "Ah, you've made it so much better in here than those monsters did last year. I particularly like the dementor diagram." She pointed to a large parchment poster affixed to the wall, with an anatomical model of a dementor sketched on it.

He smiled. "Always good to know as much as you can about your enemy, so you're never caught by surprise."

Tonks returned his smile with a hint of melancholy. "'Constant vigilance'," she whispered. Her gaze drifted into space for a moment, then soon focused and moved to his own. "I'd really love to sit in on some lessons this week, if you wouldn't mind."

"'Sit in'? I think you'd actually make a fine substitute professor, Auror Tonks, if you're up to it."

Her bright grin returned with a vengeance. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Tonks remained by his side through the rest of the day and dinner in the Great Hall, though he was able to get out of the awkwardness of her expecting to stay with him that night by McGonagall entreating her to investigate the security of some of the magical wards in the Forbidden Forest.

Remus could tell that her obvious desire to be in his company was causing a bit of a stir amongst his students, gossip-lovers one and all. He even noticed Ginny lean over to Hermione during the meal, whispering behind the back of her hand over a steaming plate of turkey and potatoes. Both girls looked to where Remus and Tonks were sitting at the head table, and Lupin flushed as Tonks touched his shoulder familiarly while regaling him with a story about Harry's latest undertakings in Auror training. If he hadn't known any better, he could've sworn he'd seen Hermione's eyes flicker with something like sadness as she studied Tonks' fingertips grazing over the soft flannel of his sleeve. Remus cleared his throat and reached for the pumpkin juice to top off his glass, managing to deflect Tonks' touch with the motion. He hadn't spoken much to Hermione the past week outside of class as he prepared for his first transformation back at the school, and felt himself regretting that fact as he glanced back to her, noticing her now staring into her turkey breast. She dragged her upper teeth back and forth across her bottom lip, cutting the meat into smaller and smaller pieces without taking any bites. He didn't know why, but he especially didn't want her to think there was something going on between him and Tonks.

Hagrid came over to speak with him and Tonks and get some updates about Harry - and when he eventually retreated, Lupin saw that Hermione had left the Great Hall, a full plate of miniscule turkey bits still set in front of her empty chair.

—

Remus fell asleep that night in an easy chair by the cabin's window, exhausted from a long day of classes and Tonks. He didn't expect to wake up once more in Hermione's cursed dreamscape - it hadn't happened again since the first time at the beginning of term. But as he felt that strange pulling sensation grasp at the edges of his dreamless sleep, he realized that he was returning to the Battle in Hermione's unconscious. He braced himself for what was to come.

He came to in the room where he'd taken Hermione last time, the semi-abandoned Herbology stores. However, unlike the prior experience, she was not there with him. Lupin gritted his teeth, pulled the wine-colored cardigan he'd fallen asleep in tighter around his shoulders, and exited the room, attempting to seek the witch out. Like the last time there were no living people to be found, just bodies and blood and smoke.

Remus found himself at the entrance of the library without even realizing what route he'd taken, but he smiled at the inevitability of his destination. He, apparently, knew Hermione well enough: he caught a glimpse of telltale golden-brown hair skimming by above one of the shorter stacks. "Hermione?" he called softly, hoping not to startle her. The hair stopped its movement and inclined in his direction.

"Professor?" Hermione responded, tentatively.

"Yeah."

"I'm in the Restricted Section."

"I can see that." He smiled as he saw her step up on tiptoe, clasping her fingers over the top of the bookshelf to peer over at him.

"You're back."

"Looks like it." He walked over to the Restricted Section, turning the corner into the usually-forbidden stacks. Hermione stood against one of the dusty shelves, wearing a tank top-and-shorts pajama set that was far too sheer for Remus' comfort.

She noticed him studiously look away, and crossed her arms in front of her chest apologetically. "Sorry. I didn't know this was going to happen again." Remus saw the skin on her arms prickle up into sharp peaks as she shivered slightly. He pulled off his heavy cable-knit cardigan and walked over, draping it around her shoulders. She exhaled in almost a moan.

"Merlin, you're warm," she muttered appreciatively, sliding her arms into the loose sleeves.

"Wolf thing," he responded. She dragged her teeth over her bottom lip in that delightfully neurotic way he always caught. He saw the little white dents her front teeth made in the perfectly pink flesh, and errantly thought about what it would be like to sink his own teeth into her soft and tender skin.

His physical recoiling at his own impure thoughts was covered by the high, shrill voice ripping through their shared quietude. "I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself..."

"Fuck," Remus heard her whisper.

"It's not real," he assured her, impressed by how comforting he sounded in the face of his own discomfort and fear. She looked up at him with large eyes, eyes the color of Honeydukes chocolate and mahogany bookshelves and spun bronze and all things good and lovely. The eyes were rimmed with tears, fighting their way out despite the best attempts of the girl to stifle them.

"I know," she sighed, "but it doesn't make this much better. Going to sleep in dread every night is awful…waking up to this, even worse."

"Hey, now, I wouldn't say I'm awful company," Remus responded with a tentative smile. She shook her head back at him, chuckling. "Listen, yes, I know this isn't ideal…but this is manageable. We're together. And that means, we can figure this out."

"What do you mean, tonight?" she responded, startled.

"No. Of course not. I think it's going to take a lot more study. But til then, at least you're not alone. I mean, I'm no Harry or Ron-"

"Are you kidding?" Hermione interjected. "I can't imagine how Harry would be reacting to hearing Voldemort back again. Not to mention Ron…he'd either be running around the castle trying to find Death Eaters to beat to shit or trying to get a snog off." She flushed at Remus' raised eyebrow to this casual statement. "What I mean to say is, I'm glad it's you. I'm not sure why it is, but I'm glad."

He stared down into those nakedly honest woodsmoke eyes and felt his stomach lurch forward. "I'm glad, too. Hermione."

She bit her lip again into a small smile, and leaned back against a small and ancient desk in the dusty alcove carved into the Restricted Section wall. "I have a question to ask you," she said, finally.

Remus swallowed hard. "Y…yes?"

She pulled the cardigan tighter around her arms. "Do you have any records?"

The question spun around pointlessly in his brain for a few moments, completely throwing him for a loop. He wasn't sure what he'd expected her to ask - why his chest gave that funny little jolt when she began her query - but it certainly wasn't that. "Huh?"

"Records? Vinyl records? Erm, LPs?"

"Oh, uh, yes."

"Could I borrow some? Good ones, ideally." She smirked.

"Of…course, but…why?"

"Ginny is the unofficial host of the Gryffindor post-match party, being the team captain and all. She ordered me, in my duties as friend, so she says, to find some music for said gathering. Why me, I couldn't tell you - maybe she assumed I would be able to figure out how to get some to play. Anyway, I think I can make it happen, but I'd need records at the very least. Since no electronics work here. I think I can get them playing with magic."

"No need," Remus said, "I have a bewitched player that could do it. Arthur gave it to me after I showed him what CDs were. Really blew his mind."

Hermione laughed heartily at this. "Oh, I'm sure."

"The music I have might be a little…dated, maybe, I don't know. I don't know what-" he almost said something like "you kids" but stopped himself. It didn't feel correct. "I don't know what's popular nowadays."

"You think I do? My tastes run less Weird Sisters and more Beethoven." Another raised eyebrow from Remus made her scoff. "It's good for studying. There's a kind of fierce beauty about his music that's very…invigorating."

"I don't really go classical, to be honest. I have some Bowie, some Queen. Might be good party music. Certainly was back when I was a Gryffindor." He smiled. "Lily would buy us Muggle records in the summers and come back to school with a whole trunkful. It was like sending away to a catalog - we'd give her the Galleons, she'd convert them to Muggle money, go down to the record shop and wipe them out. Sirius was particularly fond of something called 'prog rock'."

"Lily…" whispered Hermione, with realization.

Remus sighed. "Yes. Always bringing in Muggle contraband - so to speak. Records and sweets and terrible lagers and…" He cringed a little in embarrassment. "Cigarettes. Her and I and Sirius would sneak out to smoke them, til she willed herself to quit 7th year. She was always the strongest of us when it came to that kind of thing." Hermione looked at him with sympathy, which, instead of making him feel better, made him want to cry. "Anyway. You can borrow whatever you like."

"Could I come by your office after the match tomorrow to pick them up?"

"'Course."

A soft light poked at the corners of Remus' eyes, and he looked over to the tall library windows to see that the first beams of sunlight were streaming in through the thick and foggy glass. The day was breaking once more - the Battle was over for another night. He looked back at Hermione, as the edges of his vision began to fade into darkness and the sleepy feeling of consciousness started to call for his attention.

"Hermione," he said, as the sunlight illuminated the girl's hair like a halo of sienna fire.

"Remus?" she replied, a faint blue glow clouding his vision of the girl in his sweater, reaching out to him with one too-long maroon sleeve slipping down over her knuckles.

"Time for a new day."

In a moment, they were both gone, and he was soon opening his eyes to the cold white sunlight blazing into the cabin, his back crooked and wrecked with a night's sleep spent sitting up in the easy chair.

His sweater was gone.

—

The Quidditch match had been a ripper, to be sure: Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, with the former winning by a healthy margin. Remus couldn't help but grin as he saw Ginny hoisted onto the shoulders of the Gryffindor beaters, carried all the way back to the castle. He gave a wave as he spotted Ron Weasley in the celebratory procession, obviously visiting for this first Quidditch game back at Hogwarts. Ron grinned and waved back, slinging an arm around Hermione's shoulders as they followed the team, and Hermione gave a small wave, too, visibly biting the inside of her cheek. As the pair turned to head into the castle doors, Tonks skipped up next to him, threading her arm through his with a gleeful smile. "What a game!" she exclaimed, practically buzzing with excitement. "Sorry I was held up at the end there. Slughorn had a thing."

"No problem," he responded, walking through the doors and turning to make his way towards his office. Tonks stuck by him, and he chivalrously led her down the hallway arm-in-arm to the DADA classroom.

Once they got inside, Remus pulled off his cloak and rubbed the back of his neck, stretching. "It makes me feel ancient, but sitting on those wooden bleachers just kills after 2 hours."

"Ooh, I've got tomorrow's Daily Prophet headline now: 'Old man complains of back pain'."

"Hey! I'm not that old," he muttered, turning to Tonks. She had sat on the edge of his desk, kicking her feet out playfully. "I happened to have slept wrong, you know."

She quirked an eyebrow at him mischievously. "Curled up at the foot of some shopkeeper's bed like a little puppy?"

He stepped toward her, laughing. "That was only once. It's comfortable, I swear."

"I was just glad you weren't wolfed out at the time, that's all," she smiled. "You would look so cute with a little collar on, though." At that she curved a finger around the inside of his shirt collar and pulled him close, so that his hips were flush with the insides of her thighs. He swallowed dryly, hearing a dull clicking noise in his ears magnified in the stillness of the moment.

Maybe this could be good. Maybe we could be good for each other. She clearly wants this…maybe I should just try.

Tonks beckoned with his collar and he felt his lips crash against hers. Their teeth clinked, and her fingers got snagged as she slipped them into his hair for further leverage. He kissed her, but it didn't feel the same. It felt hard and damp and empty. It felt like he couldn't be what she wanted.

The door clicked open to the office, and before he could register what was happening, he heard Hermione Granger's voice as she bounded in behind him already half-finished with a rushed sentence. "-And if the same thing happened to you, that means-" She stopped cold when she saw the scene in front of her: the pretty yellow-haired Auror wunderkind with her legs wrapped around the thighs of her professor, one hand in his collar and one wrenched in his hair, faces flushed and smashed together. Tonks immediately let go when she realized what was happening, but it was enough. Remus whipped around to Hermione, straightening his shirt with panic.

"Hermione-!"

"Merlin, I…I am so sorry…the, um, records, Professor, the ones I was going to borrow? I thought you were expecting me." He had completely forgotten he'd agreed to meet with her following the Quidditch match. An agreement made in some sort of alternate reality, yes, but clearly Hermione really had shared the dreamscape with him the previous night, so it was a valid agreement all the same.

"Yes…yes…" he said, breathlessly.

"Um, so, could I…?" she asked, barely looking him in the eye.

"Right! Yes." He pointed her to a shelf, on which sat at least a dozen vinyls and a small suitcase-looking object. "The records - and that's the player. You just pop it open and-"

"I'm sure I can figure it out, thank you, Professor," she hurriedly replied as she swept the entire shelf's contents into her endless beaded handbag. "I'll, uh, talk to you - well, give these back - um, see you in class. Thanks again." She practically sprinted out of the room, snapping the door shut behind her with a smart crack. Remus stared after her, mouth agape and stomach furling into painful and complex knots. We weren't doing anything wrong, he insisted to himself, over and over. And he and Tonks weren't. Two adults kissing in a closed room, that was all. Maybe a little iffy, being a school office, but not a big deal. Then why do I feel so fucking terrible about it?

It took a small giggling sound from behind him to snap him back to reality. He turned. Tonks sat on the desk still, hands over her face, clearly mortified but laughing up a storm. "Bloody hell, that was weird," was all she could manage through her giggles.

He coughed and exhaled a forced laugh. "Hah, yeah. We were supposed to meet."

"Oops," replied Tonks with a smile.

"Oops," Remus agreed, his mouth settling into a pained frown.

He'd only noticed just as Hermione took her rushed leave that she had been wearing a wine-colored cable-knit cardigan today over her casual clothes from attending the game.

His cardigan.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! So glad to be back to this story and freshly inspired with new twists and turns for Hermione and Remus…and angst, ah, so much angst. Song referenced in chapter title is "My Body is a Cage" by Arcade Fire. Any comments are much appreciated, and thanks to all who have been kudosing, bookmarking, subscribing, etc! Being my first fic, any response is truly mind blowing.