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chapter twenty-eight.
"Ouch!"
Lily was hissing as Madam Pomfrey applied the stone coloured balm to her lip, trying to lean away as though to create distance between her and the pain that was spurting beneath her skin but failed when the healer wrenched her back to her position and daring the girl to make a move as she worked tirelessly to ease the agony.
"Oh, quit your complaining, Ms. Evans. It is only a minor abrasion," Pomfrey chided, tutting and not extending any form of sympathy, though Emilia hardly blamed her; the poor witch had been spending all that morning treating and healing the other girls who had been caught in the fight, looking a tad on the exhausted side as she worked tirelessly to get everyone up and out on their feet once more before lunch time came around.
The infirmary was bustling more than usual, and Emilia felt bashful teetering on the side of being mortified at knowing she had a hand in piling up the witch's work for that day. Lily and Emilia had been placed on beds twinning across from one another, the curtains drawn save for a gap that they could see each other clearly through, but all else had been shut out; no doubt done so due to concern that round two would explode into action. She couldn't tell who occupied which beds, but when streams of students clumped together wearing certain colours gathered around one bed in particular, she had an inkling what less than poor soul might be lying within the curtains.
Lily was propped up on the bed opposite Emilia, scowling as she soldiered on through the pain, trying to catch the wince before it cracked across her features while Pomfrey worked; Emilia's own face was beginning to throb and ache more terribly as the seconds lingered on, but kept her mouth shut in fear of raising Pomfrey's ire and having it directed at her. She had fallen out of practice with being invisible, unfortunately.
"It hurts," Lily complained, scrunching the white bedsheets in her fists as she spoke through gritted teeth.
"Yes, that generally is what injuries do," Pomfrey shot back, daring for her patient to make a move or some smart remark as she continued her work, smearing the cream over the bruises that had wilted to a dying lavender colour against Lily's pale cheek, reminding Emilia of the trampled and rotten flowerbed back in her aunt and uncle's house. Lily held her voice back against making another yelp as Pomfrey rubbed one more dollop of the medicine and then promptly twisted the lid once more on the pot, huffing as she placed her hands on her hips. "Now, you're done. Was that so difficult?"
"Yes," Lily grumbled beneath her breath, pouting.
"Sit there until it heals, I want to check you before you leave," Pomfrey reprimanded, wiping her hands on the apron tied around her, giving Lily one last piercing glance to lend weight to the warning, before she spun on the spot to settle her sights on her new victim. "Now, let me see you, Ms. Greene."
Emilia kept her voice buried in the depths of her chest as Pomfrey's observations washed over her, tilting and turning her head to examine the injuries under different angles of the bleeding light pouring in through the windows, pursing her lips and nodding silently to herself on whatever remarks she was making within her mind about what she saw. Emilia half wanted to blurt out that she had had worse, but decided against it, knowing it was not the right nor the appropriate thing to say in this type of situation. Madam Pomfrey could be scathing when she wanted to be; but Emilia couldn't push away the memory of Sirius lying in the infirmary bed, holding her hand and pleading with the witch to let Emilia stay and how she had relented to such a ridiculous request.
The thought of Sirius plucked at her heart, a pang burrowing into her chest as she realised she had not seen him at all since that morning while he was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Class had already started by this point, and Quidditch practice was coming to an end, so he was most likely being treated to a feast for gossipers as they told him all; no doubt telling tall tales and spinning stories that barely even resembled the truth.
The more hours that slipped through her fingers, the less amused she found herself becoming as she tried imagining his reaction. Would he be worried? Or, dare she say, even distraught by the news? Unlikely. It wasn't like she was dead or as badly injured as Marina was. Maybe hearing about how terribly Marina had been beaten up would bring light to his day and brighten whatever mood he would have cast over his head.
Pomfrey finished her evaluation, her cool touch leaving Emilia's face and turning to the cupboard beside the bed, crouching as she began rooting around in the stores for whatever horrible concoction she was going to force upon Emilia. "Just some bruises and a few scrapes. Nothing that will leave a scar."
Lily squawked, green eyes like emeralds turning wide as her investigating hands dropped from her paling face. "Are you saying I'm going to be scarred?!"
"Hush your whining, Ms. Evans," Pomfrey scolded, standing upright and turning to Emilia, thrusting out an unlabelled, periwinkle ceramic bottle in Emilia's direction; the colour did little to deter the dread in her stomach as she knew that whatever was inside was not going to be as pleasant as its container. "Drink this. It'll fade within the hour."
Emilia took it in her grasp, uncorking it and conspicuously bringing it to her nose first in order to have a sniff at the contents, though there was no scent perforating her lungs; it did nothing to ease her nervousness, yet she had no choice to toss it aside beneath Pomfrey's watchful gaze, reluctantly placing her lips around the cool bottle and tipping it back into her mouth. The taste was close to making her gag but her eyes squeezed shut, trying to not linger on it too much before it spilled down her throat, chugging every last drop until there was nothing left and she ripped it away from her, all but blocking potential retches clawing their way up as she placed the bottle once more in Pomfrey's awaiting palm.
It took her a moment to recollect herself, an odd burning sensation that grew warm in her belly as she swallowed thickly in order to free herself of the taste staining her tongue, voice carrying a slight tremor. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey."
Madam Pomfrey nodded in approval at Emilia's willingness to take what the doctor prescribed and returned the now empty bottle to its place in the cupboard. "At least one of you has bedside manners."
"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," Lily perked up, a sing-song quality about her as she tried offering a small, grateful smile that failed to meet requirements due to her recoiling at feeling the tightness tugging at her lip due to the cut embedded in the flesh there, crimson wax dried to the surface.
"Now that is more like it. I still have to see to Ms. Farthing after the number you did on her, Ms. Evans," Pomfrey said, tossing a pointed glance at Lily who had the decency to appear the very epitome of remorse, even if it was for show. Emilia had no doubt in her mind that Lily would rather gnaw on rusty razors than to ever feel an ounce of regret for what she had done, and Emilia didn't blame her because she had found herself nursing an absence of guilt. Pomfrey moved between them and jabbed an accusing finger at both of the girls, daring them to defy her. "Both of you stay here. Not a peep out of both of you."
Pomfrey was a swish of skirts as she darted off to her next patient, leaving Emilia and Lily alone in their huddled corner of the infirmary; the entire place smelled clinically clean, and she just couldn't wash the disgusting after-taste that was seared into her mouth no matter how hard she tried. The warming pool in her stomach jostled and sloshed about with each movement and Emilia made a conscious effort to keep herself still so as to not upset it.
Lily blew a puff of air, rolling her neck as she lounged back in the bed, arms at either side to keep herself propped up, ankles knotted together and swinging in an unknown breeze. "Ugh, bitch."
Emilia's eyes widened at the curse in disbelief. "Madam Pomfrey?"
"What? No! Elissa. I hope she has a crooked nose for the rest of her life," Lily clarified, aghast at the implication she might have said such a thing about the elder witch. She pressed her lips together, raising a hand to continue her tactile investigation of it but unable to draw much of a conclusion due to not being able to see the scope of it. She swung herself upright in the bed, leaning across the distance and bringing herself nearer to Emilia. "Be honest, do you think it's going to scar?"
"You don't trust Madam Pomfrey?"
"I don't trust my stupid body to not betray me," Lily said. "Well?"
Emilia mirrored Lily and brought herself close as she possibly could without taking a tumble off of the bed, squinting her eyes as she studied the split on Lily's lip; it didn't look very deep or as crimson as it had before, blood clotting and knitting the mauve skin back together until it looked like a smear of lipstick. It didn't look half as bad as it might have felt, and Emilia knew a thing or two about split lips. Not the worst she had seen, or experienced. Emilia shook her head. "No."
Lily breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing back into her bed once more. "Maybe I could have rocked a scar. I think it would look cool."
Sirius had said something along those lines before, how a scar would have helped him in his endeavour to supposedly reel in the ladies; as if he needed any help with doing any of that. There she was again, thinking about Sirius for no apparent reason. It was like she couldn't wash him out of her mind and untangle him from her thoughts even when he wasn't there. Emilia's feet swayed back and forth in an off-beat arc, the winter sun stretching thin, illuminated fingers and bathing them in a puddle of mellow light. "It would scare anyone off from trying to fight you."
"They would be stupid enough to try," Lily snorted, raising her arms above her head and groaning at the relief. "I can't wait to leave. I have an essay I need to finish for Defence against the Dark Arts."
Oh, the essay. Thank goodness she had it completed already because there was no way she would have been able to complete it by that day without falling apart at the seams as unease would have blocked any attempts at trying to write anything comprehensible. She pursed her lips and stared at her hands, nails unwittingly taking up the old habit of picking at the skin around her fingers. "I have mine finished, you can look at it if you'd like."
"Really? I feel bad, I don't want to copy your homework," Lily asked.
"Call it inspiration."
"You're a lifesaver. I was supposed to finish it this morning and proof-read it, but I don't think I'll have enough time now, what with everything that happened," she gleamed, tension dissipating in her shoulders at having one less burden weighing her down. She paused for a moment, features turning sharp as though a thought crossed her mind. "I wonder if they've written to my parents yet."
That was the last thing Emilia needed to fret over; her aunt and uncle knew little about Hogwarts or Emilia's educational career, but even despite living in separate worlds, if there was one thing that they knew regardless was bad behaviour displayed on school grounds. Her aunt had wrung her ear once to the point of nearly twisting it off when Emilia had got in trouble in primary school for ending up in a scuffle when one of the older kids had been picking on her over her too big clothing, pushing her into the mud. She had nearly gone half deaf from her aunt's screaming about her reprehensible display of behaviour.
Of course, it didn't help her case that the bully had also been the child of one of her aunt's much richer friends and she needed to remain in her good books.
Her aunt never took much interest in Emilia, let alone what went on at school, but if there was one thing she despised it was having their good name being dragged through the dirt, no matter what world it was happening in. The only reprieve she found solace in was the fact she knew they would not be at the house come Christmas time, preferring to jet off to some other warmer climate half-way across the world where her aunt would try to drown herself in drink and her uncle desperately trying to pretend that his wedding band didn't leave a tan mark on his skin when he took it off.
"What do you think our punishment will be?" Lily wondered aloud, tearing Emilia from her own train of thought.
She had forgotten about that; she didn't know what time they were supposed to report to McGonagall the following morning as no specific time had been given to them, the Professor preferring to remain tight-lipped about what awaited them instead of freeing them of their agony brought on by stressing over endless possibilities.
Emilia shrugged; the first time she had got into trouble, it had been a detention that centred around sorting out papers with Sirius in a dank and dust filled closet; that felt like a millennia ago, the paper cut she had taken from that time still adorned on her finger, a white sliver that smiled up at her whenever she glanced at it. "Scrubbing cauldrons for Slughorn probably."
Lily pulled a face at the prospect. "I hope not."
"It's not so bad. Sirius said it's the easiest punishment he's got."
"Considering how many times he's been in trouble with Potter, I'm inclined to believe him," Lily remarked and then froze, stiffening before a muffled groan poured out of the depths of her chest, her hands cupped her face in them as she tried to bury herself alive. "Potter is never going to let me live this down."
Emilia's face warped at the confounding statement; why would James ever make fun of her? She thought the two of them were friends per Lily's insistence that they were while waiting to be called in by McGonagall. "Why?"
"At least I had the moral standing over him before because I'd never been in trouble. He's going to rub this in my face forever," Lily whined, bent over on the bend as though she wanted to disappear into her own bones and never have to see the light of day again. Bafflement clouded Emilia's mind as she couldn't imagine James doing such a thing, despite the fact she wasn't particularly close with him; regardless, he had always been nice to her and never made fun of Emilia even with there being a litany of reasons why he could do so. He was harmless - unless you were on the wrong end of one of his pranks.
"He won't do that to you," Emilia reassured the ginger sitting across from her, hoping to ease her anxiety but Lily simply shook her head, heaving a breath and dropping her arms, letting them hang over her knees as she stared glumly at the ground, dismay clear to see as it spilled out of her eyes.
"He loves proving me wrong at every turn. I wouldn't be surprised if he split his arsehole from laughing from hearing about this."
James did like to laugh; Emilia could remember that fateful day in September and how it left him in droves, guffaws that echoed across the Great Hall after Sirius had spilled orange juice all over and she had left him a red beauty mark in the shape of her hand across his cheek. How had that only been over three months ago? It felt like she had known Sirius so much longer, time passing in such a blur that she couldn't keep up with it. She hoped the future wouldn't go by so quickly just the same; if anything, she only wished that the seconds dragged on just so she could continue living this life with him at her side.
"I'm sure he's probably worried about you," Emilia continued on but Lily sniffed, looking like she didn't believe Emilia in the slightest, appearing very downcast and full of gloom no matter what comforts were thrown her way.
"He knows I can hold my own. He'd be more worried about the others," she sighed, a huff escaping her and screwing her nose up before she tutted, bringing a fist down on an open palm and wiping her features clean to replace them with an expression of determination. "I'm not even going to think about it or him. I had a good seven year run of having a clean record. My folks are going to be so mad."
"Will you get in trouble for it at home?"
"Probably, but let's hope the Christmas spirit will make them show me some mercy," Lily lamented, though not trying to let what was awaiting her bring down her spirits. Her bruises were turning a faint yellow colour that reminded Emilia of dandelions, buttery and warm, and the cut on her lip was stitching itself back together without even realising it.
At least they wouldn't have to walk around with the evidence of their earlier behaviour on display for everyone to see, but Emilia's face still throbbed, smarting sharply if she moved the muscles in her cheeks too quickly; could have been worse, she could have ended up as Marina did and confined to the bed while Pomfrey worked her magic.
A bruised ego was beyond the realm of Pomfrey's capabilities.
She could hear the shuffle of students from beyond the curtains, coming to their friends' bedside and offering up their company to ease the pain; Emilia and Lily had be cordoned off by themselves on the far side of the room along, as though they were nothing more than a pair of troublemakers who should be kept away from infecting the others from engaging in less than acceptable actions.
Not that Emilia minded all that much, if she was being honest. Lily had been telling her how she was sure she had given Elissa Farthing a bald patch that could have given Marina's own, awarded to her by Amanda glass, a run for her money, and Emilia had tried desperately not to laugh as Lily enacted the facial expression the Slytherin Head Girl had adopted when it had been done to her.
Lily had also commended her for managing to wring the Slytherin girl, whose name she discovered to be Katya Jayce, in a vice like grip, muttering that the girl had once beat up a Seventh Year Ravenclaw boy when she was only in Third Year and Emilia wasn't sure if it was meant to comfort her, especially knowing she had now made herself enemy number one.
Lily had given her the stamp of approval over her victory, a thumbs up thrown her way before Madam Pomfrey had torn through the curtains to begin her examination of them both.
Emilia always knew Lily was nice, it was a simple fact she acknowledged along with the rising of the sun being assured every day, but she didn't know the girl could be this nice, and funny too. She was lethal, grinning with the faintest stain of blood on her lips and not caring one jot about any of it, despite her status as Head Girl and acting as a supposed example of what a good student should be.
A sudden burst broke Emilia from her daze, jolting on the bed and Lily nearly slipped from her own at the explosive noise, catching herself in time before causing another accident that Madam Pomfrey would not be particularly pleased about; the two traded confused glances with one another as they listened, a brief stretch of silence before she heard a scrape of metal and a shrill gaggle of girlish screams pouring out.
"What the hell is going on?" Lily muttered, trying to peer through the opaque curtains that refused to bend to her will and allow her a glimpse of what was happening on the other side.
Emilia's ears strained as she tried listening in the hopes of understanding what was occurring, hearing more of that scraping sound, a bumbling apology thrown out to no one in particular, and her brow furrowed, wondering why this situation felt so oddly familiar; like that day with Sirius in the infirmary when his friends had not adhered to the silence and shattered it, the sound of their disregard for patient care screeching in her ears.
Wait.
That was why it was so familiar, because -
The rings of the curtain shrieked as James Potter threw the veil open and his brown eyes latched onto Lily immediately, his face flushed and coated with a sheen of sweat, gasping and panting for air; he looked as if he had run the entire length of the castle grounds in his Quidditch gear and then decided to do it again for masochist enjoyment, knees all but wobbling as his legs struggled to hold his weight up, hair a wild and untamed crown that had blades of grass combing through it.
"Lily!" he cried out and said girl stared right back at him, green eyes blinking and trying to wash the image of the boy before her, his glasses sat askew on his nose and her mouth parted, completely perplexed at what she saw.
"Potter, what are - " Her voice died off because there was no time to finish in between the moment when James flung himself forward, body eating up the distance between the two of them and his arms were just as fast to engulf the red head, nearly wrenching her from the hard mattress she was perched on, crushing her to his chest. From over his shoulder, Emilia spied the mask of unadulterated disbelief on Lily's face as it was morphing into a glowing ember, burning brighter with each second that passed was spent trapped in his arms.
"Are you okay? I heard about the fight, are you hurt?" James' voice was a pitch higher than it usually was, and Lily looked like her brain was swirling around in the confines of her skull as he pulled away from her, hands gripped at her shoulders. "Merlin, you look awful, why hasn't Madam Pomfrey seen you? Something needs to be done about this!"
Lily recollected herself and scowled at the boy in front of her. "She has seen me, this is it healing."
"Oh," James paused, not even bothering to try and appear embarrassed, instead electing to flash her a large grin. "In that case, you look amazing as always!"
"If you think this is bad, you should see Elissa," Lily scoffed, but there was the slightest hint of a blush crawling up her neck, highlighting the freckles stained on her usually pale skin.
"I heard you put her in her place, that's my girl," James complimented her, the boyish grin on his face not faltering once whatsoever. For some reason, Lily began to resemble an overly ripe apple, the sparks of her flush fanned across her entire face until it almost matched the colour of her hair.
"Yeah, well, she had it coming," she said, dropping her gaze as though it was difficult for her to drag her green eyes to meet the hazel of James' own. Emilia fought the growing urge to shoot her a glance that was brimming with unsaid words of I told you so but she wasn't allowed the chance to because James released Lily from his hands to whirl around to her, the sweat clinging to his forehead glimmering in the sunlight and he was every bit the part of a disapproving parent as he latched his attention onto her.
She couldn't believe that James Potter of all people was trying to make her shrivel up with a chastising look.
"Well, well, Ms. Greene, I have to say that it's a surprise to see you on this side of the law," he began, clicking his tongue in a criticising manner that didn't feel very disparaging; he placed his hands on his hips as Madam Pomfrey had done, raising a finger to waggle it in her direction. "Just so you know, I hope you're ready to never be let out of his sight ever again."
She gawked at him, not missing the way Lily slapped a hand on his arm and hissing at him to be quiet. "What do you - ?"
The answer to her enquiry appeared through the gap of the curtains, skidding on the ground and almost toppling over on the smooth floor, catching himself before making a scene and Emilia's eyes landed on the sight of Sirius as he scrambled to balance himself, adorned in his Quidditch regalia that weighed him down. Emilia was ready to hop down from the bed and make her way to him but there was no need as he all but threw down the broom in his hand, letting it clatter to the ground as he barrelled his way over to her.
"Emilia!" Sirius cried out and her mouth opened to do the same but, just as James had, he smacked his body into her, knocking the wind from her body as his arms surrounded her, crushing her to him without much care for her poor spine.
He smelt of wind and winter air, pine and that cologne that haunted her even as she slept, arms snaking automatically around him to clasp at his back, fingers brushing over one another as her neck ached from the arch it was bent at so that her chin rested on his shoulder; all rational thought was pushed from her mind as they wrapped around each other, the discomfort from the angle of his body standing over her, like he wanted to press her down into the mattress.
That warmth in her stomach she misconstrued as the potion from earlier trickled throughout, shifting and twisting thorny barbs around her heart, knowing that the constricting feeling sitting on her chest was not because of his vice-like embrace; his hair was damp, tickling her cheeks with dew drops from melted snow placing cold kisses to her skin as a drum beat against her ribs, though was unable to tell if it was his heart or her own, so in tandem with one another they were indistinguishable.
His gloved fingers crawled up her spine, winding up in her hair and clutching her as near to him as physics allowed; her palms were flat to his spine, and, for the first time in her life, not caring that two pairs of eyes were watching this all unfold in front of them.
"Sirius?" she murmured in her ear, growing increasingly concerned at his silence. She tried casting a glance towards Lily and James, but could not find him from the angle her jaw was put at atop of Sirius' shoulder. "I didn't know you were coming, what - "
Sirius pulled away, a distance Emilia resented forced between their bodies but he stopped short of anything more than a few inches; his silver-grey eyes were wild, frantic and washing over every inch of her face, hands wandering to rest against either sides of her head, cradling her like water in his palms that he loathed to be parted from by even a single drop.
"Emilia, are you okay? Is it bad? How bad is it? Tell me the truth. I need to see, look at me," he dismayed, hair a wild cloud that was ruined with the wind. His skin was pale, alabaster that was drained from any signs of his usual, boyish grin that she so loved to see; she could barely think straight as the material of his gloves did little to temper the heat bleeding from him, her bones soaking and leeching it right up. She could faintly feel his thumb brush at the space beneath her eyes, carving the feel of it into memory.
His face was a permanent cast of agitation, distraught as he soaked in the sight of her; she had never seen him like this, save for a memory buried deep within her from so long ago. Halloween, realising the form huddled in the dark was no Boggart but her, and she had never wanted to see it ever again. Why did she only ever make him worried?
"It's not as bad as it looks. I'm okay, Sirius," she tried assuring him, hands rushing over his arms to wind around his wrists, peering up at him but it did little to quell his fretting. At any moment, she was sure she was going to burst into ash and wither away in his hold.
"You don't look okay, far from it in fact. Let me see, I'll be the judge of that," he griped, grey eyes piercing and unrelenting as he began to tip her head in every direction, noting the fading bruises and sealed cuts that was slowly repairing it; she didn't think she looked that bad, but evidently she had been wrong because a storm crackled beneath the surface and his jaw was set in place, a muscle rolling beneath the skin. "What the fuck? What happened? Who did it? Which one of them did this to you? Let me have a look."
Once more, Emilia felt that awful urge to say she had worse as it reared its ugly head but deep in her heart of hearts, she knew that that would not be the best thing to say to him.
"I'm fine, Sirius, honestly, it's nothing to get upset about," she stressed, a wisp at curve of her voice as he continued to swaddle her at either side of her face; despite her assurances to him that he paid no heed to, Emilia didn't mind too terribly over his fretting, pretending that the heat bleeding through her skin and down her neck, nestling in the corners of her existence was simply because of his furnace-like touch. She couldn't even see nor hear Lily and James, but knew that they were standing witness to Sirius' unconstrained concern.
"I heard what happened while I was out on the pitch, I came here as fast as I could. Not fast enough obviously. I should have been here sooner," he lamented, a tear in words and his thumb traced the red, clotted line drawn across her brow that was taking a little longer to stitch back together compared to the other. It was difficult to know what was going through his mind, unable to pry his closed expression apart. "Does it hurt? Be honest, you can tell me. Is it sore?"
"Only if you keep touching it," she reprimanded him lightly, face blazing as she tried tugging at his wrists to free herself from him, unable to think properly as she became drunk on the feel, smell, and sight of him.
"Where else were you hurt? I want to see, I need to know," he demanded, fingers curving her jaw and crouching to examine the rest of her, checking to see if she was still a full body complete with two arms, ten fingers, and all limbs were intact and accounted for. Emilia caught a glimpse over Sirius' head at the two other Gryffindors standing across from them, James trying to smother the grin carved across his mouth as Lily shook her head in disbelief.
Remembering they had an audience, Emilia lamely smacked away Sirius' investigating hands, but it did little to deter him, not that she expected any different. She was sure that Madam Pomfrey would take offence to anyone doubting her handiwork, and it wasn't as if she had been badly hurt no matter how he was reacting like she had been. But he was just everywhere - her arms, hands, thighs, rushing over the plane of her back, following the bumps of her spine and she had to suppress a shudder that was not borne by discomfort.
In fact, she was too comfortable with his tactile inspection.
"Sirius, I'm not ababy. Pomfrey already saw to me and she said it'll be gone in an hour."
"How does she know? What if she's wrong? It's happened before that she was. Did she see to all of you? Did she check you for a concussion? Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?" Sirius did not bother to lean back, not finding any shame at his display in front of his friend and he threw his hand up, three digits wavering in front of Emilia's unamused gaze and the other returned once more to her skull, poking and prodding to find the presence of a non-existent gash, a crown that she nearly crumpled under.
A clearing of a throat, and Sirius didn't even look back as James stepped forward, grabbing the parting of bleach coloured curtains around Emilia's section, flashing her a half moon of straight, white teeth. "We'll just give you both some privacy."
His announcement went unheard by his friend and the curtains scratched as they moved and Emilia could just about pick up Lily's murmured voice on the other side but there was no time in trying to discern what was being said because Sirius' turned her head to face him once more so that he captured her undivided attention and all she could see was him; his handsome features were warped with an unknown emotion whose name had not yet fermented itself as part of Emilia's vocabulary.
She didn't need to understand it to know that it was there and it was real and Sirius was an embodiment of it.
"Sirius, stop. It's okay, honestly. Just some bruises and scrapes, it's nothing to be so worried about," she hushed him, reaching up to cover his hands with her own, wrapping around him and leaning back to gain some semblance of distance between them because he was stealing the air from her lungs.
"I can't help but be worried about you," he griped but eventually relented, releasing her and letting their entwined hands drop until they rested atop of her thighs, pooling in her lap but remaining locked together, inseparable. She despised the Quidditch gloves he wore as they acted as a barrier, unable to feel the full scope of him. "When someone told me what happened, I couldn't believe it because I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that when they said Emilia Greene got into a fistfight, they meant my Emilia."
Who else could they have been talking about? It wasn't as if there was another Emilia Greene in this entire school.
"You're such a mother hen, it's fine," she scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "I'm okay. I promise."
It didn't little to ease Sirius, and his fingers tightened around her, the grey of his eyes catching on the mellow light and fracturing and shifting as they were unable to settle on one emotion, sifting through one after the other like he couldn't make a decision. A frown eased its way to the surface, and Emilia wished he would smile. She liked it when he smiled. "How do you know? What if Pomfrey missed something and you're having a brain bleed and she has no idea and you end up dying by falling into your stew at dinner time? Or you end up choking on your own blood while sleeping? Or your skull collapses in on itself? Or - "
"I swear if you don't put a cork in it, I'm going to shove my foot up your ass and you can ask Madam Pomfrey yourself."
"Okay, maybe you are fine," he said, finally reigning himself in so as to not smother Emilia in his effort of showing concern. An exhale spilled out of him in a wheeze and Sirius groaned, moving away from in front of her to plop himself down on the space beside her, jostling her on the mattress as he did so but he thankfully never untangled the connection that existed between them. "I need to sit down, all the adrenaline in my body is making me feel like I might pass out from the shock of it all."
"And here I thought I was the one who was supposed to be injured," she teased, finally feeling a good humour seep back into her after all the events that had transpired in such a short time. Simply by him being here, she felt better than anything Pomfrey might have tried to pry into her. Not that she would ever say that - to the nurse or to Sirius.
"You're also supposed to be the rational and reasonable one between the two of us up until this morning," he retorted and stretched his back, rolling his neck and Emilia pointedly averted her gaze lest she get caught staring. She had thought it too, how she was supposed to be one who never got into fights or in trouble but that hadn't been the case even before this morning; it would be a lie if she tried to pretend any different, knowing that she had no right to call herself a good student since that fateful since September. Sirius turned to her, a thoughtful expression flickering like lightning across him as he assessed the healing damage done to her but being reminded of its existence, no matter that it was disappearing, left a bad taste in his mouth and he unwound one hand to raise it to her cheek once more, washing over the canvas until it wandered back to push a curtain of her hair behind her ear. The stuttering of her heart worsened and she wondered if Pomfrey had anything that would ease the gripping sensation in her guts. "Fuck, seriously, what the hell happened? People have been telling me sorts of things, but I didn't think it was real. All I know is that it was a big fight."
He continued to absent-mindedly brush the same piece of hair behind the curve of her ear, entranced by the action and Emilia was in no rush to smack his hand away. "What did you hear?"
"That apparently Amanda Glass went mental and started beating up a Gryffindor in the Great Hall. When I first heard it, I thought they meant you when they told me you were involved in the fight," he explained and then the hand tracing her ear paused, glued to the spot and not caring she might be scorched to nothing. Sirius' grey eyes turned cold, ice shards that could cut and his expression darkened, a storm brewing as he became grim. "Was it her? Was she the one who did this to you?"
Emilia shook her head, refuting the accusation. "No. She was in the fight, but she wasn't the one who did it."
"Then who was it? Tell me who was the one that did this to you, I need to know," he pressed on through gritted teeth, whetting his voice until there was an edge to it.
"Another Slytherin, a girl called Katya Jayce. Amanda was too busy beating up Marina," Emilia said and the scowl on his face was wiped away immediately at the revelation told to him, brought up short and unable to stop the way his jaw unwound itself to drop open in shock.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he all but spluttered, perking up straight and leaning close, as though he was trying to make sure it was actually her speaking and not some spectre feeding him lies about the whole thing. "You're telling me that Amanda Glass beat up Marina? Why would she do that? I know Marina's a bitch, but I've never even seen the two of them even look at each other."
Word must not have spread fast about the reason behind it all, not that Emilia expected it would; people weren't too concerned with the why it happened, all they cared about was the fact it was done and it would keep them satisfied them until the next piece of gossip did the rounds around the corridors of Hogwarts. Here she could only hope that she wouldn't be the source of it all when it came around, but Emilia knew she could never be so lucky.
The endless possibilities of what could follow next were nerve wrecking and Emilia let her attention drop to where her and Sirius' hands were laced together, an incomprehensible tangle that she couldn't tell where he began and she ended.
"I hear her say something about Marina picking on her cousin. Marina must be bullying her so I guess Amanda wanted to teach her a lesson. That's why the fight started," she continued on but she did not delve too far; in her ears were the echoes of Amanda's screams, ricocheting within her and she could not shirk them from her mind no matter how hard she tried. And then, the hiss of Marina's voice cropping up, slithering inside and wringing her chest to draw fear from her heart.
None of that mattered anymore, Marina had been dealt with and Amanda Glass saw to it where Emilia was too cowardly to do so. To anyone else that had been there, for all they knew that Marina had simply been calling Amanda's cousin some other vulgarity, and not… that. Not mudblood, or anything in that vein. Had the Slytherin told Slughorn while being interrogated? Emilia had no idea, and word should have spread like wildfire if that had been the case.
And Sirius…
He didn't know. She didn't want him to know. If he ever found out, then who was to say that he wouldn't do something that could result in him being expelled? He had told her before of his family, how they were blood purist fanatics who would have sooner be glad to wipe shit off of the bottoms of their shoes that to see Emilia hanging off of the arm of their son; that was why he stopped talking to them, cutting the infection out before it festered and rotted the rest of his body. Just because the blood in his veins came from the same source did not mean he was filled with the same hatred.
What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him and then they would never have to be parted because of it.
Sirius snorted, not once doubting her claim of Marina's harassment that extended beyond her. "So, how did you get dragged into it?"
"Another Slytherin started ganging up on Amanda and no one else was doing anything so I tried to help her," she said and he baulked, face screwing up like it was a painful pill to swallow.
"Why would you try to help her?"
"Amanda's nice. She was only trying to look out for her cousin. I thought it was the right thing to do," Emilia replied nonchalantly, and it only brought forth a groan from Sirius, as though he vehemently disagreed, moving the hand glued to her hair to cup his forehead, bent over with elbow on his knee and covering his eyes.
"Fucking hell," he cursed, heaving breaths in a bid to temper whatever was coursing through him so that it would not bubble over and explode in the infirmary. "Fuck, I think my heart is going to go into cardiac arrest."
"Then you're in the right place for that to happen," she stated lightly but it hung like a noose between them, not the right thing to say as his head snapped up, not the least bit pleased and Emilia felt like a kid caught doing something worthy of disapproval.
"What were you thinking getting involved in something like that? You should have waited for a teacher or - or let someone else deal with it. Do you know how terrified I was when I heard about it?" he berated none too gently and Emilia swallowed her voice once more at hearing the sting to his tone. It reminded her of her old teachers in primary school, how they would shake their heads and ask what are we going to do with you, Emilia, if you don't start making an effort? Her heart plummeted to the farthest depths within her, "Please, you can't ever do that ever again. Don't ever try to do the right thing anymore, not if this is what happens when you do. If that ever happens again, you need to run away so you don't get hurt."
Emilia glowered and retracted her hands from his, withdrawing away from him and leaving his paw there to lie alone and without companion in her lap and he did not miss the action, gaze darting down and watching as she crossed her arms over her chest in disgruntlement. "What, so it's okay for you to get into fights but I'm not allowed at all?"
"That's exactly it," he agreed, not even hearing the hypocrisy in his own words. Then again, she was hardly one to judge and to kick up a fuss about it.
"How does that make any sense?"
"Because I can't stand to see you hurt," he stated instantly, dead-pan and leaving her no room to try and debate him on it. Her ire waned, trickling from her and her crossed arms grew slack from their tight position around her, unable to prevent the way her scowl grew soft and she could hear it in his voice - something akin to desperation, trying to make her understand and he sounded so delicate, fragile in a way she had never heard him before. "I'm serious, Emilia, you can't do that ever again because I don't know if my heart can take it or what I might do if it happens again."
She knew he was only worried, she knew that it all came from a place of care from within him, and that was why she couldn't hold a grudge against it, couldn't call him out for telling her what not to do but then never abiding by his own words. Even after all this time, she still wasn't used to it, probably never would ever be used to the knowledge of someone caring and worrying about her; she couldn't even begin to fathom it or the depth of his emotions in a way that made sense to her. What had she ever done to have him feel this way for her?
His imploring eyes never strayed and Emilia could feel her willpower chip away, knowing that he had her all but in the palm of his hand and she didn't think she had it in her to ever say no. So, she huffed, the gust of air catching on a loose strand tickling her nose as she yielded to him. "Fine, but really, it's not that serious."
"It is to me. I don't want to ever see you hurt, Emilia," he stressed. "Promise me. You have to promise me because I don't know if I can stand it otherwise."
God, it was like she had kicked a puppy the way he was staring at her and it plucked at something in Emilia's heart to know for a fact that the only way to banish it was if she said what he wanted to hear.
"Alright. I promise," she said, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes, wriggling one of her hands trapped within one of his to free it and jabbed a finger against his chest, the Quidditch gear acting as a padding, though she doubted it would hurt him even if he was in his school uniform. "But you have to do the same because I don't want to see you hurt, so that means you can't get into any fights ever again either."
Sirius' chest puffed up and he covered her hand to lay its palm flat against him, moving it so that it rested over that precious spot where his heart lay buried beneath, able to feel the thump and hum of it even though his clothes. "Fine. I promise, unless it's life and death or a manner of honour, I will try my utmost hardest to not get into another fight ever again for the rest of my life."
"That doesn't sound very sincere,"she grumbled, worming her hand to freedom but she could still feel the tremors of his heart against her skin, stretching fingers in an effort to banish the sensation.
He gave a waggle of his eyebrows. "We could make a blood oath if you want it to be that serious."
"I'll pass. I'm already in enough trouble as is without getting caught for doing Dark Magic"
"You only get in trouble if you're caught," he sang, and Emilia was tempted to tell him that she had been caught already, her once clean record now completely tarnished and that he had been the catalyst for it all, clawing it out of her. Sirius lazed back in the bed, not caring that his Quidditch gear wasn't exactly in the best state. Pomfrey was going to kick up some fuss when she saw her ruined bedsheets. "So be honest, how badly did Amanda beat up Marina? Please tell me Amanda has her confined to the bed."
She didn't even attempt to stop the snort that ripped through her. "Bad. She knocked out Marina's tooth and I'm pretty sure she ripped out a chunk of her hair. Or a few chunks."
A bark of laughter escaped out of Sirius, ringing on in her chest like a bell chime and he didn't care that he was breaking the perfect quiet and peace of the infirmary, chortles pulled straight from his belly. It made her glad to see him laugh so carefree. She wanted to make him feel something other than anxiety and worry. "Bloody hell, that's fucking amazing. I can't believe it. I'm so mad at myself for not being there to see it all go down. I'm glad someone put her in her place. She deserved a lot more, but that will come later."
Emilia grimaced, like lightning across her face as she ignored the piercing stab into her lungs; she had hoped he had forgotten, or that his thirst for vengeance had been sated once news of it all was brought to him. Why did he have to be so headstrong, so stubborn, so loyal? Emilia wanted to bring him peace, to not be some burden that he had to act on her behalf. "Don't tell me you're still on about that."
"Of course I am. I told you, she's going to get what's coming to her and I meant every word of it," he said and a chill froze in her bones because she could tell that he meant every word of it and it made her shift uncomfortably on the bed, throat closing up. "Whatever she did to Amanda's cousin, she already got the consequences for it. But for what she's been doing to you still has to be answered for and I'm not about to let her think she can get away with it."
"McGonagall said she's going to look into Marina and her behaviour," she tried soothing, hoping it would deter him from whatever he was planning because she could not be the cause of endless trouble for him.
That did capture his attention. "You told her everything?"
She hadn't even told him everything. And it ate away within her, her organs cannibalising themselves over the shame and guilt of it all. "No. But me and Lily told her about what she did to Amanda's cousin. Others heard it all, and there's evidence now so she won't be able to get away with it."
Sirius scoffed. "I won't hold my breath. She's such a snake, she'll manage to slither her way free without getting any kind of punishment."
"How is you don't believe in the system and yet you want to be an Auror?"
"Maybe because I think the system is shit and I could do better than it," he responded with a shrug of his shoulders.
"That's not a worrying line of thinking whatsoever," she said and he wasn't inclined to disagree with her.
"Did Pomfrey say how long she'll keep you in here?"
"Not long. An hour and then I'll be fine," Emilia explained. Hopefully the hour would pass fast because she knew he wouldn't be able to spend the entire time here with her no matter how much she wished that he could.
"Only an hour?! That's hardly any time at all! What if you collapse later?" Sirius spluttered and was positively aghast.
"I'll be fine," she sighed, brushing aside his dramatics. Honestly, did he think her to be some newborn goal who couldn't walk on her own feet?
He didn't agree one bit, the corners of his mouth tilting downwards as he once more resumed his odd stroking of her hair behind her ear, wearing the bone down and Emilia wouldn't be surprised if she was suddenly without appendage by the time he had decided that he had enough. She did not bat his hand away, the familiar fluttering of her heart emerging once again and sparkling electricity in her veins. How funny to think some months ago she would have thrown herself to the other side of the room to avoid these gestures. "It's not right, so it isn't. She should keep you in overnight just to make sure that you're okay."
An amused sound left her and she teasingly narrowed her eyes at him. "You're just looking for an excuse to be rid of me."
His hand paused its petting and Emilia buried the urge to protest against it as he placed a pat at the top of her head once, twice and then remained there, pouring through the rest of her body. "I changed my mind. An hour is good. Too long even. I could take care of you just as fine if not better than her. I'd make a pretty bedside nurse while tending to you."
Emilia would sooner trust Hagrid with her health than she would Sirius. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be in class?"
"What of it? You're more important than some stupid Arithmancy class by a long shot. You think I'd be able to sit through all of that knowing that you were here and I couldn't be at your side?" he said and she tried shaking her head to show a lack of approval but the action was stilted because of the palm that kept her in place. She dodged away, moving to smooth down the strands lest her leave her looking like a bush. "You're acting as if this is the first time I've mitched class. Don't worry your pretty little head about it or me, Lemon. All you need to focus on is getting better."
"But I am better," Emilia insisted and it wasn't entirely a lie; physically, her face no longer throbbed with ache as she spoke and the tight sensation of the gashes doled out to her told Emilia that they were healing. She couldn't believe Sirius got so worked up over nothing, she had escaped with a few bruises and scrapes, nothing to faint over the sight of.
"Good girl, that's the spirit," he complimented, a smile gleaming like a rising sun as it washed across his face and it pained Emilia stare at him, the way her heart became constricted behind the cage of her ribs, swelling at the sight of it and knocking her breathless; it was always so easy for him to do this to her, he had to know from how frequently he did it. How could he not know that he was doing this to her? Did she wish for him to stop, or did she want him to be like this always? "So tell me, did you win?"
She quirked her brows, gathering her scattered mind back together. "Of course I did. Did you doubt me?"
"Well, remind me not to get on your bad side. Again, that is," he said and she rolled her eyes, ignoring the blooming of her heart that pressed against bone in her chest. "I'm proud of you, you know."
Emilia blinked. Had she heard him right or did she need to get her ears checked by Madam Pomfrey? But it had been his voice, his lips forming the words, tongue carrying the sound, no doubt about it. She nearly choked on her own spit as she spoke. "Sorry?"
"Not that you got into a fight, I'm not one bit happy about that, but I'm proud that you stood up to Marina by yourself."
"I would hardly say that I stood up to her," Emilia blushed, shifting beneath Sirius' gaze and his praise, so unused to it all. Had he not been reprimanding her just moments ago for even getting herself involved? He changed so easily it was challenging to comprehend whether he was being sincere or not.
"You did. You helped Amanda and, as much as it pains me to admit, you were right: it was the right thing to help her. I don't agree with it, but it was the right thing. Maybe now that bitch will know not to mess with you," he all but growled, daring for reality to show him otherwise.
"I guess we can only hope so," Emilia agreed but she couldn't find it within her to believe herself; even now, a foreboding sense of apprehension was brewing within her.
McGonagall had promised a pending investigation into the claims made against Marina, but what if they decided not enough could be done due to a lack of evidence? Would Sirius be right in that Marina would slip through the cracks to freedom and no consequences? What then? Or would her pride be trampled enough that she would spend the rest of the year avoiding Emilia and keeping her head down?
The rings on the curtains were nearly torn off as the swathe of fabric was parted and shadowed at the entrance was a less than pleased Madam Pomfrey, her mouth turned in a permanent scowl that only deepened even more when her piercing glare latched onto Sirius, who showed no signs of cowering beneath it. Emilia became acutely aware of how close they were, trying to find any parts of their bodies they could use to connect to the other's and she might have felt mortified at being caught in such an inappropriate position were it not for the fact that she simply… did not care.
"Mr. Black, you shouldn't be here!"
Sirius whined, trying to pout and gain some sympathy that the older witch would not part from. "My friend is in the infirmary, Madam Pomfrey, you can hardly expect me to not come rushing to her side!"
"Out. Now. Get to class before I have you in detention," the nurse threatened, stepping back and whirling around to grab a hold of the other curtains in front of Emilia's bed and do the same as she did before, ripping it in two and Lily at least had half a mind to leap back into her bed as though she had been laying it the entire time, James propped on the edge of it and talking to thin air, gaping at Madam Pomfrey like a fish out of water. "You too, Mr. Potter."
"Aw, come on, Madam Pomfrey. We just wanted to see if they were okay," James whinged but was already standing his feet, knowing it was a futile argument that he had no hope at gaining victory in, smoothing down his Quidditch gear and leaving flecks of dirt and blades of grass on the ground, completely unaware of how Madam Pomfrey's ears were starting to steam.
"Class," Pomfrey seethed, darting her eyes back over her to Sirius, daring for him to try and fight back against her. "Now."
"Alright, fine, whatever you command," Sirius grumbled, peering at Emilia and rolling his eyes at the nurse's warning, paying no mind to her as he stood to his feet against his will, keeping his hand clasped around Emilia's, locking them together even as James made a hurry to snare him by the elbow, wanting to escape lest they feel the brunt of Pomfrey's wrath. "I'll see you in a bit, yeah?"
"Please don't get into any fights on your way out, for my sake," Emilia pleaded teasingly, finally breaking away from his seeking hand that grasped only air as James attempted to haul him away from her, but Sirius fought against him, denying his friend any chance of success as he refused to comply.
"Anything for you," he sighed, sounding so sweet and soft that it made her blush as she was wont to do. If she had no pride, she might have begged Madam Pomfrey to let him stay a little longer because her body felt so cold without him stoking that familiar fire within her.
"Mr. Black, leave!"
"I'm going, I'm going!" Sirius whined, not wanting to risk the wrath of the nurse who was turning shades of crimson and violet the longer he disobeyed her orders, but it did not deter nor push Sirius to run away with tail between his legs as he grinned at Emilia and, before she could prompt him to leave with a promise of meeting at lunch, his hand stretched across the space existing between them to wind around the back of her head, curving at the crown of her skull and tugged her close to meet him halfway.
She thought he meant to head butt her or tip their foreheads together, but no, it was something softer that touched her against her hair, lingering ever so briefly, his hot breath bleeding over her from the top down and her heart leaped to the back of her mouth; she couldn't twist her head to see what it was pressing up against her, locked in place by him, and then, it was gone all too soon before she ever had the chance to relish in it, trying to swivel her eyes upwards to catch the remnants of the touch but she was too late and Sirius was backing away, beaming while James wrenched at his arm to follow along and he scooped up his forgotten broom, never once looking away from her.
"Merlin, you two make me sick," James gagged, giving one more pull before tossing a wave from the other side of the curtain. "Bye, Emilia! Let me know if you want me to sneak you in anything!"
"Chat later, Lemon!"
A breath was sucked in through her parted lips, unable to offer up a response as he threw her a wave before James won the battle and she watched him go in a flourish of red and gold robes, a stone lodged in her throat, blocking her voice and left a flustered shell of her former self. She could hear Pomfrey chasing them out, shooing them away and then it was silent once more. She never thought a time would come where she hated the quiet that was a natural result that followed after Sirius' absence.
"I never thought I would see the day…" came Lily's voice that sounded a world away and Emilia's head snapped towards her.
"What?"
The other girl perked up, waving a hand in the air vaguely. "Oh. Nothing. Don't mind me."
How bizarre. Emilia wasn't going to press for an explanation. She shoved her hands beneath her thighs, ignoring the odd tremor that wormed its way down her arms as she tried desperately to ignore the sparks that spat down into her veins, all sourced from where she had felt Sirius' breath scorch into her, resisting the urge to pat the spot as if trying to capture the ghost of the touch. "Were you right?"
"Sorry?"
"Did James rub it in your face?" Emilia clarified and at the mention of the bespectacled boy, flames poured across Lily, ears glowing pink in the light of the pale sun that cloaked her from above.
"No. He didn't," Lily said, pretending to take a great interest in the cuff of her sleeves. "He said he was so worried he fell off his broom while playing Quidditch. I thought he was exaggerating but he insisted on showing me the bruises and dirt."
"That's sweet of him," Emilia remarked.
"I know. He can be really sweet," Lily agreed meekly, not bothering to suppress the upwards turn that tugged at the corner of her mouth. She reached behind her, taking a palm-sized square packet and hopping from the bed, pulling herself beside Emilia and fiddling with what was in her grasp. "Anyways, we only have an hour left to go. You want to play Exploding Snap? Potter brought them because he thought I would be bored."
"Sure," Emilia shrugged. Not like they had much else to do.
Maybe the hour would pass faster if she distracted herself from the haunting feel of Sirius' confusing touch that seared itself into her, not sure what it was but it continued to short-circuit her ability to think like a rational human being regardless of being able to understand it or not.
another chapter yahooooo!
n e wayz, so this is the third last chapter of what i have decided is "act one". Next chapter, which i have written dont worry, is the penultimate chapter before the end of act one. By "act one", I mean that a lot of the plots and story threads prevalent in these first 30 chapters will be finished and then act 2 will focus on new storylines/plots that are, but not limited to, emilia becoming more a part of marauder shenanigans to sirius' dismay, sirius grappling with his feelings, emilia's own internal battle with her emotions and the misguided belief of unrequited love and all the angst that comes with it.
As remus will put it in chapter 30, "[Sirius is] all in on something [he doesn't] even know is there. [he's] expecting something from her that she might not even be able to give" and the fallout out from this as a result.
next week: the moment everyone has been waiting for with sirius finding everything out and ruh roh raggy he aint too happy in more ways than one. angst! hurt! comfort! tears! so esscited
enuff rambling hope u all enjoyed ! mwah x
song of choice while writing: new year's day by taylor swift
Thanks for reading!