Disclaimer: SVU and all of its characters were created by and are the property of Dick Wolf. I make no profit with this story, which is my own original work.

After taking a few moments to regroup and rest from the whirlwind events of the afternoon and evening, Olivia and Elliot ultimately decided to get up from where they had collapsed side by side to move to the table. Neither were particularly hungry, but they knew that skipping a meal would do them both more harm than good. Not only did Elliot need to take more pain medication before bed, but the combination of energy they had each expended, along with the adrenaline that was rapidly wearing off demanded that they refuel their bodies. Thankfully, the food they had chosen on the drive back to the motel was simple enough fare, designed to fill their stomachs and replenish their bodies.

Exhausted physically, mentally, and even spiritually, Elliot was also wanting another shower, but he didn't know if he had the stamina within him to manage. Perhaps after he had eaten, it wouldn't seem like such an impossible task. For now, though, he was grateful for Olivia's quiet companionship as she sat across from him. In the background, the television droned on, still tuned in to the same channel they had been watching the night before – a time that seemed so long ago.

As he picked at the takeout container of pasta in front of him, which had come from a restaurant that he couldn't even remember the name of now, Elliot tried to push the memories of the day from his mind. They were all swarming in at a rapid pace now, and his feelings of gratitude combined with an equal amount of self loathing. As blessed as he felt that his partner had come all this way to help him, it had not once been his intention to drag her headlong into the danger they'd found themselves in today, even though Elliot knew in his heart that Olivia had no regrets. But the sound of that gunfire was ringing in his ears, and mingling with another all too recent occasion when they had been involved in a shooting together, and the fact that the woman he loved had been the one on the receiving end of a bullet.

It wasn't until Elliot felt one hand close around his own and another wrap around his neck to draw him near that he even realized he was crying. He hadn't even been aware of just how visibly shaken the events of the day had left him until now. Turning his head into the junction between Olivia's neck and shoulder, he allowed himself to fall apart, knowing this was one person who he could be vulnerable with and never be judged for it. He could lay his heart and soul bare, but still not bring himself to voice what he wanted and needed most – too afraid that the woman in his arms would run. Thankfully, the unspoken communication between them was as strong as it had always been, and Olivia understood him perfectly.

"Come on, El. The food can wait. We can always heat it up later."

Confused, but trusting his partner implicitly, Elliot allowed Olivia to pull him to his feet. Understanding dawned when she led him over to his luggage, and passed over a clean change of clothes. Not only would they be designed for comfort, but they would also be suitable for sleeping in. But he was lost at sea once more when she claimed one of his NYPD tee shirts for herself, stopping at her own bags only long enough to grab a pair of sleep shorts and the necessary items to change the bandages on his wounds. Reasoning that his partner was merely planning ahead and intended to grab a shower for herself after she was done helping him, Elliot followed her into the bathroom.

"If you're feeling anything like I am, you're going to want to wash the day off. I know we won't be able to rid ourselves of it entirely, but getting clean will certainly go a long way. I'm also willing to guess that the last thing you want right now is to be alone. So, unless you have any objections, I thought maybe we could share."

Elliot was convinced that he was hallucinating. Either that, or he had somehow fallen asleep on the bed, and was having one of the most vivid dreams he had ever experienced. Because, there was no way that Olivia had just suggested that they take a shower together – or had she?

One soul-searching look into his partner's eyes told Elliot that what he had just heard had indeed been real. Still, the last thing he wanted was for Olivia to feel like she had to do something she wasn't ready for – especially for his benefit.

"Liv, you don't have to do this."

"I know. I know what I've said in the past. But I've had a lot of time to think. While you were gone, and most recently when I nearly lost you. I'm done wasting time. And I know that you aren't in any physical condition to do anything right now, and that neither of us are in the right mental state either, but that isn't what this is about. It's about not being alone, and healing together."

Even though he wasn't sure how he managed – because he certainly wasn't capable of forming coherent words at the moment – Elliot felt himself nodding his consent. After Olivia turned on the water and adjusted the spray to the ideal temperature, the two of them divested themselves of clothing, as though sharing a shower together were something they did on a regular basis. There was no sense of urgency, only a quiet stillness that seemed to give both of them a brief slice of the peace that they were each searching for.

As much as he wanted to be a gentleman, and offer his hand to help Olivia over the lip of the shower into the mostly walk in stall, Elliot's body was very much starting to protest the activity he had undertaken today. In the end, it was he who needed to accept his partner's assistance to ensure he didn't lose his balance.

Once the curtain was drawn, the two of them took turns standing under the steady stream. Even though this was the first time they had ever been fully naked in one another's presence, neither of them had broken eye contact yet, too intent on maintaining that personal connection. The energy in the room was not a sexually charged one, but rather spoke of something uniquely intimate and so much deeper. As the water cascaded over his shoulders, Elliot felt the tension begin to ebb from his body. However, no matter the events that had led he and Olivia to this point, he still wasn't expecting what she did next.

Just as he was about to reach for the antibacterial soap for use on the few areas of his body held together by stitches and staples, his partner beat him to it. Elliot watched, transfixed, as Olivia worked a lather onto one of the washcloths and tenderly began to cleanse his skin. She was more than attentive with her touch, and under any other circumstance, Elliot was certain that his body would have responded long before now. There was still a part of him that felt the stirrings below his waist, but as he had observed previously, what was happening now between himself and Olivia wasn't sexual. The desire and love was inherently there, obviously, but it wasn't the underlying emotion. It was, however, quite possibly the most intimate encounter he had ever experienced with another human being in his life. It seemed only right that his partner was the person with whom he was sharing it with.

As Olivia made another pass over his chest with the cloth, Elliot sucked in a breath that was somewhere between a gasp and a sigh. Her touch was anything but painful, but could almost certainly be defined as electric. Even though he knew he had no right to dare hope to be granted the same privilege, he selfishly prayed for the opportunity to return the favor when she was done washing him. He needed to be able to touch her, because no matter the fact that he could see with his own eyes that his partner was alive and whole and breathing right in front of him, Elliot still needed that tactile sense to convince his traitorous brain that the gunshot he had heard earlier when she was out of his sight hadn't taken her away for good.

Before Elliot's mind could completely inundate him with worst case scenarios, or worse, assail him with memories of the time not that long ago when Olivia had actually been shot when she'd been standing right by his side, he tried yet again to center himself. It helped tremendously to have his partner in such close proximity, only as he stepped closer to help ground himself with Olivia's presence, there was the unintended result of brushing his chest against her breasts. Even though he had yet to tear his gaze away from her face and take in the sight of her nudity, the sensation of her bare skin touching his own in such a way caused his body to react – no matter how much he willed it not to.

Believing to have crossed a line, Elliot immediately uttered an apology. The last thing he wanted was to make Olivia feel pressured in any way, even if logically he knew she was just as aware as he that what he was experiencing was a biological reaction, and no matter his attraction to her, he wasn't intending to invade on any previously set boundaries. Not to mention, given the state of the injuries that Eric Bonner had left him with, he was in no condition for any excessive physical activity anyway, even though he had certainly tested those particular limits today. No sooner had the words been spoken, then Elliot felt Olivia's palm cradle the side of his face, and her soothing voice reached his ear.

"It's okay, El. I'm right here."

Calming almost immediately, both at his partner's touch and her words, Elliot felt the shame that that had been threatening to take hold ebb away. He reminded himself to remain in the moment, and finally gathered the courage to ask permission for what he had been wanting ever since he had stepped foot with Olivia under the spray of the shower.

"Liv, may I wash you, too?"

"Yes."

Though his next question wasn't spoken aloud, there was no doubt Olivia heard him loud and clear. Love was the sole emotion visible in her eyes as she nodded her consent, and passed the cloth from her hands to his. It was only at this point that Elliot allowed himself to drop his gaze, looking at his partner's naked form for the first time. As he took in the exposed flesh laid bare before him, it wasn't the smattering of faded scars that captured his attention, but rather Olivia's beauty and the way she took his breath away. Guilt was threatening to consume him, but he didn't want to be overwhelmed, not now.

The only time Elliot allowed his expression to change – along with a choked sob from the back of his throat – was when he saw the healed but still all too recent wound on Olivia's hip. Much the same way she had for him, he bathed her skin tenderly. The thought crossed his mind of how he had not stepped foot in a church since Kathy had died – save for his most recent traumatic ordeal – but that he would gladly fall to his knees to worship at Olivia's feet. Either that, or beg for forgiveness, something else he still felt he needed to do to atone for the multitude of his many sins. His partner had been right. This was the healing experience that each of them had needed. There was nothing he could do to erase any of the pain that she endured – nor she for him – but by trying to help one another recover and heal, they were getting back to the partners they had always been, only on a much deeper level.

Using an ability she had always possessed, Olivia read his thoughts clearly, and with just a few simple words, put his troubled mind at ease.

"Don't go there, El, not now. I'm not going anywhere, and I promise you this isn't the only time we'll be able to share something like this."

Even though the water was starting to show signs of cooling, Elliot didn't want to get out of the shower just yet. Not until after he'd helped Olivia wash her hair. It was something else he'd always dreamed about, in those times when he would allow himself to fantasize about his partner and what the potential of something more with her would be like.

Once the soap had been thoroughly rinsed away, the two used the same care and concern to help towel each other off. After she was clothed, and Elliot had donned his pajama bottoms, Olivia carefully reapplied his bandages. Then, lifting herself up on her tiptoes to raise herself up more equally to Elliot's height, she touched her lips to his own. The kiss was mostly chaste, but no less loving. It was meant to comfort and soothe, but also reassure. Then, the two made their way back out to the main room of their motel room, finally ready at last for the meal they had previously put on hold.

It didn't take long for the food to be reheated, and despite his strong instincts, Elliot allowed Olivia to continue to take care of him. The pair sat across from one another at the table in their room, much as they had at breakfast. The one thing that surprised him was the small portion of whiskey that his partner had poured for each of them. Apparently his shocked expression and raised eyebrow were easy to identify, because Olivia was quick to give an explanation.

"I know you won't overdo it now, El. Plus, after the day we've had, I think we both could use a drink. Not to mention, it's still early enough in the evening that what little I've given you won't interfere with your pain meds."

She was right about that. The amount in the glass wasn't enough to drunk on, and barely equated what would be served had he ordered the same drink in a bar. As it was, he'd also be consuming the beverage with a meal, and drinking water along with it. Even so, Elliot was deeply touched by the gesture, to know the depth of Olivia's trust that he wouldn't drink to excess.

Picking up his fork, Elliot sifted through the bowl of reheated pasta in front of him. It wasn't gourmet by any meals, but would definitely be filling and the warm meal would go a long way in replenishing the energy he had expended that afternoon. If the decision were solely up to him, he'd consider skipping dinner altogether, but he had a feeling that the only reason Olivia was agreeing to eat was because he was, and vice versa. In this particular instance, they were a good influence on one another, where if left to their own devices, they might both revert to more negative habits. However, that didn't mean he wasn't looking forward to crawling into the bed they had shared together the night before, and even though he had yet to summon the courage to ask, Elliot could only hope that he wouldn't be alone when he slept. No matter the fact that housekeeping had put clean sheets on both of the queen sized mattresses in the room, he didn't want to be apart from Olivia. Not now, and if he were being honest with himself, not ever again.

The two continued to eat in a companionable silence, save for the occasional light conversation that filtered between them. Olivia had also had the presence of mind to tune the television back into the same classic movie channel they had been watching the previous night. The volume wasn't excessive, but just enough to provide a soothing background soundtrack and keep them both grounded.

Before long, the food on their plates had disappeared. Even though it was still somewhat early, neither of the partners had an issue with relocating to one of the beds, and it didn't matter that they weren't ready for sleep. It seemed they each were in need of the proximity of one another, and as they gravitated close together, Elliot felt the anxieties that had been starting to rise up once more calm almost instantly. So much so, in fact, that he was able to reveal a secret that he never thought he'd admit to another soul. Thankfully, Olivia was able to read the seriousness of the situation, and remained silent, save for a supportive hand that she placed on his bicep. Although he had teased her about it once previously, Elliot knew now that the expression in those dime sized pupils with which his partner was regarding him exuded nothing but empathy.

"At the very end, before the Chief showed up, I thought I'd finally found myself in a situation I wouldn't be able to get out of. Even though there was nothing humorous about it at all, part of me wanted to laugh at the irony of someone like myself – the stereotypical Irish Catholic cop – potentially meeting his end by being crucified at the hands of a madman."

Olivia moved her hand then, and Elliot held his breath, worried that he'd already revealed too much. But when her palm came to rest on his cheek, he immediately relaxed, and let the words continue to pour forth, cleansing both his mind and soul the same way their earlier shared shower had his body.

"There was a moment when Bonner turned away, and I kept yanking on the bar he had me bound to. I didn't have anything else to defend myself with, and though I know it makes me just as bad as him, I was desperate to survive. I had just about gotten it loose when Meredith came in, although I hate to think what would have happened if she hadn't. Part of me is afraid that the rage would have taken over, and I wouldn't have been able to stop with just subduing him. There would have been such a fine line between self defense and excessive force."

Feeling the shame creep back in, Elliot was about to look away, unable to bear the thought of being judged by someone whom he loved so deeply.

"You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, and think I'm a monster for thinking like that."

Closing his eyes, Elliot felt when Olivia's lips first brushed against his forehead, then made soft contact with his own mouth. When her words reached his ears, he could scarcely believe what he was hearing, but he knew without a doubt in the world that she was telling him the truth.

"I think nothing of the sort. Actually, I know exactly what you mean, because it's how I got away from Lewis."

Elliot didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if he was supposed to respond, but he was deeply humbled that Olivia was allowing herself to be equally vulnerable with him as he was with her. Deciding he would simply let his partner speak as much as she wanted to – the same courtesy she had previously allotted to him – Elliot remained silent, merely offering an encouraging nod, and saying a silent prayer that whatever Olivia revealed, he would be strong enough to hear it.

"I promise I'll give you the full story at another time, and tell you anything you want to know, but I have a feeling that neither of us are in the head space to deal with that right now. But, what I can talk to you about is some of what happened at the very end."

"Tell me anything you want. It's your story, Liv, you're the one in control of it."

Olivia gave a small smile, her eyes bright.

"Thank you for that."

Licking her lips, and exhaling a shaky breath, she continued.

"By the time I had gotten to the point I was referencing I had been with Lewis for four days. I didn't even know then if anyone knew where I was or even how to find me. I'm not saying that to place blame on anyone, I'm just stating fact."

Elliot nodded. Now, more than ever, he understood exactly where his partner was coming from – and his captivity hadn't even lasted as long as hers had.

"Lewis had me handcuffed to the frame of an old metal headboard, and he was also making threats about what he was going to do to me. Someone knocked on the door, and while I normally thought it would have been a chance to be saved, it was a woman and her young daughter, and I wasn't about to do anything that would potentially endanger them. I was already more than terrified when he invited them inside."

Elliot watched as Olivia closed her eyes, clearly overcome by the memory. He contemplated telling her to stop, but began to wonder if she didn't need to talk to him as much as he needed to hear it.

"Take your time, Liv."

"I'm okay, I promise."

When she saw that her partner was offering his hand, Olivia didn't hesitate to accept, and clung to his fingers tightly as she continued with her story.

"I had noticed when he wasn't paying attention that the bar I was cuffed to was a little bit loose, but as soon as he walked out of the room, I began yanking on it as hard as I could, desperate to free not only myself, but save that woman and her daughter. Just when I was about to give up, it came free, right as he was about to attack. I swung it at him using strength I didn't even know I still had, knocking him out."

Olivia went on, sparing no detail, including how she had gotten Viva and Luisa to leave the beach house. There was no way Elliot could judge or even condemn her for that, because he likely would have done the same thing. Protecting innocent civilians would always be a priority for each of them, and while the way Olivia went about it may not have been perfect, he understood that she wasn't thinking clearly in the moment.

The other aspect that made Elliot's heart swell with pride – despite the guilt that threatened to cling to his soul – was hearing how Olivia taunted Lewis, and spoke of him and the way he would come to her defense.

"I would have, you know. If I had known, he'd never have hurt anyone else ever again. I'd have killed him with my bare hands, and to hell with the consequences."

"I know that. It's also why as much as it hurt that you weren't there, I'm relieved that you weren't. The last thing I'd ever want is for you to spend the rest of your life in jail for something you did for my benefit. Your family needs you too much."

Feeling heartened, albeit not completely absolved, Elliot touched his lips to Olivia's forehead, much in the same way she had kissed him earlier.

"In the end, I let the rage win. Lewis taunted me, and I ultimately snapped. I beat him to within an inch of his life. I actually only stopped because I thought he was dead. Almost ended up with a broken wrist for my efforts, and very nearly lost my job in the aftermath."

Darkness clouded Elliot's features.

"Why the fuck would you lose your job?"

"Police brutality and excessive force."

No matter what he had just endured and was still struggling with, Elliot was still incensed at the injustice that continued to exist. While he had no doubt that had he broken free of his own restraints and subdued Eric Bonner, he'd have found himself in a similar situation, it never failed to make him angry that all too often it was the victims who found themselves on trial as opposed to the perpetrators who committed the violent acts against them.

"I think you know as well as I do – and likely what you were trying to tell me – that you weren't a cop in that moment. Just as I wasn't. If I had used the bar I was tied to to subdue Bonner, I'd have been no more in the wrong than you were. It would have simply been self defense, just as it was with you."

Despite the gravity of the conversation, another smile broke out on Olivia's lips.

"Well, look at that. You were paying attention."

"Very funny. Seriously, Liv. Thank you for telling me that. And if you ever want to tell me more, I'm here to listen."

"I will tell you, I promise, just not now."

That was more than enough, for Elliot. Nodding again, he pulled the woman lying beside him more closely against him, knowing she would be mindful of his sore ribs. Nothing more needed to be said in the moment, but he just needed to hold her, and he suspected she needed the same.

As the evening continued to wane into night, the pair eventually found themselves welcoming the distraction that the classic movie channel brought. After spending an undetermined amount of time cuddled up with one another, they reclined in positions more comfortably suited for viewing the television across the room. During a break between features, the topic of conversation shifted to their plans, and while Olivia would never pressure Elliot into anything before he was ready, she was curious as to what his goal was.

"I was thinking of staying here another day, maybe two at most. Of course, stop in to see the Chief before we drive back to the city. That is, only if you can spare the time off, I don't want to keep you away from something. I know you dropped everything to come here for me."

Soothing her partner with another gentle touch – just as she had multiple times ever since she had arrived, Olivia didn't hesitate to put Elliot's troubled mind at ease.

"El, relax. There is nothing more important that being here with you right now. The squad is managed, and Noah is taken care of. If you're not ready to go back yet, we don't have to."

"Thanks, Liv."

It wasn't thanks or words of gratitude that Olivia had been seeking, but she nodded her confirmation just the same. Then, as though struck by another wave of inspiration, she offered a suggestion.

"I also had an idea, but I don't want you to feel obligated to accept. What would you think about staying with me for a few days? If you're not ready to go back to your apartment, you're more than welcome to spend some time at mine."

Yet again, Elliot realized that there was no end to the depth of his partner's compassion. While he still didn't feel deserving of her kindness, he couldn't bring himself to refuse, either.

"I would like that. I think it might help, at least until I get my head back on straight again."

"Take as long as you need."

Instead of answering verbally, Elliot responded by touching his lips to Olivia's forehead. Nothing else needed to be said in the moment. However, before the atmosphere got too heavy, especially so close to each of them wanting to sleep, he felt it was necessary to change the subject.

"You've definitely given me some things to think about. For the time being, how about we watch one more movie, then call it a night? If I manage to make it through without any nightmares, I may even be up to heading to the diner in the morning for breakfast."

"One more movie sounds like a great idea to me. As for breakfast tomorrow, we'll just deal with that as it comes. But I like the way you are thinking."

Fortunately, the next film up on the schedule wasn't anything with an extensive runtime, which was a moderate concern each of the partners had experienced after making their promise. Had the movie been something along the lines of Gone With The Wind, they might have had to seriously rethink their plan. Olivia also couldn't resist cracking a joke at how relieved she was that they had yet to show the classic Alfred Hitchcock thriller Psycho, as watching that while staying in a motel might give her a serious phobia about taking a shower alone. Unable to hide his grin after that comment, Elliot wrapped an arm around his partner.

"You know I'd protect you, Liv. Plus, we could always double up again."

"I just may take you up on that offer."

The moment of levity had done them both some good, especially after the more tumultuous events of the day. But as the opening credits started for Some Like It Hot, the pair settled in to watch a comedy they knew they would both enjoy.

When the movie ended two hours later, Olivia could barely keep her eyes open, despite the fact that she had been the one to remind Elliot that he, too, needed sleep. It was only with her partner's prompting that she made it to the bathroom one final time before allowing herself to drift off. Elliot had been right after all, that if she had ignored her need and tried to sleep now, she would only have been even more annoyed to wake in the middle of the night.

After they had each completed their bedtime routines, the two settled back under the covers of the queen sized mattress they had mutually agreed to share once again. Neither had been willing to consider the concept of sleeping apart, and whether that meant they had already become so dependent on each other after one night of sharing a bed, or that their connection had merely been solidified even more, it didn't seem to matter. All that Olivia and Elliot knew was that they would both sleep better side by side.

While he still couldn't bring himself to say a nightly prayer – a habit that he'd been ignoring for quite some time – Elliot was however able to express a few words of thanks. He was definitely still experiencing a crisis of faith when it came to his personal relationship with God, but his belief in his partner was stronger than ever. Maybe that was a step in the right direction.