Team 7 was not impressed when they found the crowd gathered on the second floor of the school, considering they had been instructed to go to the third floor. Nor were they particularly impressed with the two fake students acting as guards, trying to talk potential entrants out of continuing onward. But they were impressed with the two combined.
The guards indirectly reinforce the illusion, thought Sasuke as he watched Tenten take a blow to the face when she asked politely to advance. Even if others spot the illusion, they may assume it is a trick involving the guards, not the location. And if they become suspicious of the location, well, why else post guards? Sasuke smirked, just slightly, at the layers of misdirection involved.Whoever set this up knew what they were doing. This should at least be interesting.
"Hey! That's Rock Lee! I've been training with him!" Naruto ran over to the green clad shinobi and crouched down. Lee turned to him and smiled, rubbing at his face a little to reveal the fake bruise he had applied after being hit.
"Naruto-san, I heard you would be part of this year's exam. It's good to see you, but I'm afraid there is a problem. These two students will not let us pass into the exam hall. But to fight outside of permitted times could disqualify us."
They both turned to the sound of knuckles cracking behind them. Sakura was standing there, cracking her fingers and smiling cheerfully at the two guards. "I wonder if it counts as a pass if we trash the guards," she said out loud. "The illusion is skilled, so I suspect these two are not front line combatants, and we are." She leaned down and patted Lee on the shoulder in a friendly manner. "And from what I have heard, your team is just as good at crushing faces as we are, Lee-san. Maybe we should crush faces together."
Lee jumped up and gave Sakura his sensei's trademarked "Number 4 Smile with Thumbs", his face slightly reddened with a blush. She was gorgeous, a wild and free woman. He could see the strength in her arms, her legs, how she carried herself. Her hair flowed like the mane of a lion down her neck and half way down her back. But her eyes, her eyes were the most attractive, because in those eyes he saw the fires of youth! "I am Rock Lee, Konohagakure's Wild Green Beast! You must be the Sakura-san that Naruto is always talking about!"
Sakura smiled and nodded.
"Let's date! I will protect you until I die!" He looked at her shoulder, where Kirei was sitting, watching him in a bored but bemused manner. "And you have such a pretty pussy too!"
Sakura blinked. Naruto and Sasuke both ducked.
"You… you do not know much about talking to women, do you, Lee?" Sakura heard Tenten laugh in the background, and saw the boy with the long brown hair who was standing next to Lee grunt in annoyance, so much like Sasuke did that Sakura had to fight to keep her face straight.
"No, Sakura-san, but together we can learn!"
Sakura lashed out without warning, and bludgeoned the green clad idiot on the head with her fist, although she was careful to do so lightly. "As if I need protecting! I am Konohagakure's Wild Growing Cherry Blossom! I don't need a protector! My foes need them!" She saw the downcast look on his face and decided to show a little mercy. She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a smile. "But thank you for the offer. I am sure, in time, you will find someone who needs a guardian as spirited as you, and when you do, I am sure you'll guard her well." She was certain that would be enough to deflect his interest.
She was wrong.
"YOSH! Then I shall defend your honor from all comers! Let every man in Konoha know that to date Sakura-san, you must first defeat… ME!" Lee roared this to the heavens above, which was quite a short distance, as they were inside a school, and the ceiling was quite close. But shout it he di, none the less, for if he must be a spurned love interest, he would be the best sort of spurned love interest! To be any less would be… unyouthful!
Every person, from the cold eyed Neji to the deeply mortified Sakura, to the guards, who had watched the entire event play out in shocked silence, shared a moment to palm their faces together. The only exception to this was Naruto, having met Lee before and knowing how outright youthful the boy could be. He would never admit it, but he was trying to memorize that speech, for the next time Sakura turned him down for a date, if only to amuse himself.
Sasuke sighed. Having everyone afraid of Sakura going into the exam would have been useful, but now, all he could hope for was some minor trace of empathy from those who observed this little moment. "C'mon, Sakura, Naruto. We may as well get to the right floor and find a seat." He walked away, giving Neji and Tenten a nod in passing, and getting one in return from the girl. Neji, meanwhile, seemed quite distracted, largely ignoring his surroundings to stare into the distance. Sasuke shuddered slightly and waited for his friends to catch up.
As they walked down the hall, Sasuke leaned in slightly, and said quietly, "Watch yourself if we end up fighting the brown haired boy. He's a Hyuga, like Hinata, but he is also… unpleasant. I know Tenten would not deliberately cripple us in a fight, and I doubt Lee would hurt his sweet Sakura-san," Sasuke paused to duck her swatting hand, and smiled, "but he might go all out. If our teams have to fight, focus on him first."
Sakura and Naruto nodded, and their eyes held the same message to Sasuke, one of understanding. He had not talked much about his third training partner, but that was telling enough, considering his comments on meeting someone like the old him.
The stares of the older applicants when the team stepped into room 301 were intense and suspicious. Team Seven grinned and waved cheerily at the crowd. You're young, Kakashi had warned them when they decided to take the exam, you'll be immediately singled out as an easy target. Show no fear. Make them think again.
"Sasuke-kun! You're late!"
Sasuke spun and stepped back, neatly evading the blond girl trying to jump on him. Naruto grinned to himself and neatly stepped into the hug, whirling the girl in a short circle. "Ino-chan, you gave me a hug! And today, when I'm going to become a chunin! Does this mean we're going to date?" He released her when she shouted and swung a fist at him, ducking the blow and shaking his head in faux sorrow.
Ino, Sakura thought with a grimace. She had seen Ino once or twice in the last few months, and the girl seemed as childish and vain as ever. Sakura had been surprised to find herself thinking that way, but then, she had grown up a great deal, hadn't she? Sakura doubted Ino had faced a deadly challenge yet. And now, she might get herself killed, if she's not careful.
"Back off, Naruto-baka! I'm here for Sasuke!" Ino's sharp words and tone turned sickening sweet as she turned to Sasuke, who was warily watching the crowd. "I haven't seen you in a while, Sasuke-kun! I've been waiting just for you!"
Sasuke grunted, just so, and Sakura heard it for what it was, a complete lack of interest, the same thing he used to do to her and Naruto before they were a team. She felt a little warm pride flowing through her, because she had not heard that grunt in weeks. She was worth talking to, which put her a step above every other fangirl out there.
"Ino, maybe you should be careful."
"Shut up, Forehead! I'll do do what I want!" Sakura's eye twitched, and she shut up. Ino would just have to hope her team mates could save her when the others attacked, because Sakura decided she'd do nothing to help the girl, who was still shouting insults at her.
In short order, the rest of the Konoha rookies had gathered. Sakura and Kiba shouted greetings, and started arguing about whose companion was growing faster, while the two animals shared a look of quiet dislike. Naruto tried to talk to Hinata, found her unresponsive (and a slightly frightening shade of red,) then gave up and started chatting with the Lazy Duo, as he still called them from school. And Shino quietly watched, with pity in his eyes, as Ino badgered Sasuke unceasingly.
Eventually, an unfamiliar gray haired shinobi approached them and advised them to be quiet. Naruto shared a look with his teammates, who both nodded, then promptly flipped the other shinobi off. Not just the gray haired one, all of them, rotating in place to ensure every single potential chunin in the room was covered by his twin birds. "If you're the kind of coward who needs to pick on rookies, you're gonna be an easy mark! So bite me!"
And now, I'm the target for every scumbag in the building who comes for us. Naruto grinned at the thought. Sasuke had talent and tools, Sakura had strength and Kirei, but Naruto had stamina, and if they were going to mess with anyone, it would best to have them focus on him first. Guy had explained how tanks worked in infantry battles, and the idea had made a lot of sense to Naruto. Let the guy who can shrug off blows take the blows, let the others do the damage.
The gray haired shinobi stared at Naruto for a moment, then shook his head and walked away. And somewhere in the crowd, one particular shinobi took note of that reaction, and started to watch carefully. He gave another shinobi near him an accidental nudge, then apologized as the nudged shinobi walked away.
Dosu, the shinobi who had been nudged, hunched his shoulders under the white ruffle on his cloak and turned to his companions. "The loud mouth seems to think he is something special." His bandaged wrapped face shifted slightly as he smiled, and his one visible eye glinted with malice.
"Maybe we should go say hello, one shinobi to another," said Kin, the female of their group. She was the picture of a normal woman, not particularly striking or ugly, just another face in the crowd. The darkness hidden behind that plain face was an unpleasant surprise to some, but to her teammates, it was a useful talent.
"Sounds amusing enough to be worth it," said Zaku, their third member. He grinned at the short blond genin and clenched his fists. Dosu could hear, on the very edge of his sense, the sound of air whistling through Zaku's arms, as the boy quietly tested the holes in his arms to ensure they were working.
"Me first," said Dosu, pulling back his sleeve to reveal the over sized, clunky arm guard he wore. The arm guard was full of carefully placed holes, in a pattern that had taken a great deal of experimentation to get just right. He knew it was right, because he had tested it many times on the... special recruits. And when he got it right, his master had tested it on him, to ensure he knew the exact effects.
They darted forward, almost unfollowable as they passed through the crowd of applicants. Kin and Zaku paused at the edge of the crowd, while Dosu pressed on, bringing his arm up to strike. Naruto saw the strike coming, saw that it would fall short, so he remained where he was, arms crossed, and smirked as Dosu's fist grazed his nose. His smirk remained until he opened his mouth to talk smack and felt his body convulse slightly. He heard a terrible ringing noise, his eyesight blurring slightly, and his stomach began to rebel.
He clenched his fists and tried to hold back. If I give in, it's a sign of weakness. I will.. not… oh crap! He could feel his stomach rolling, and knew he had lost the fight with it, but he refused to look away, to turn his eyes from his foe. So he did the only thing he could. He stared at Dosu, opened his mouth, and spewed on him. He had chosen ramen for breakfast that morning, a special treat for the exam, and the torrent of liquid that came out of him thoroughly drenched the shinobi in front of him.
Dosu stared at the blond, noodles dripping from his face mask, his breath coming in gasps through the filthy and waterlogged bandages that covered most of his face. Zaku and Kin stepped forward, as did Sakura and Sasuke. After a moment, Lee stepped forward as well, his eyes sparkling, and after another moment, Shikamaru sighed and did the same, mumbling to himself.
Suddenly, a deep voice roared out from the front of the class, calling them to their seats. Most of the others turned away, grumbling at the loss of entertainment, and many of them now slightly concerned about the loudmouth blond genin who literally puked in another shinobi's face. Many of them missed Dosu's parting glare, and all of them missed Naruto's grin
"Pshaaa," said Naruto, stretching his arms and grinning. "Easy test, that's all that was."
Sakura laughed and gave him a swat on the shoulder. "Sure. I saw you sweating bullets in there, Naruto. If that was a real exam, you'd have failed us all, and you know it!" The team was wandering towards Ichiraku Ramen, on a slow and casual path that fooled none of them as far as the final destination was concerned, and they were sharing a laugh, because the test had ultimately come down to a test of nerve, the one thing that all three of them possessed.
In truth, Sakura had been deeply worried until the final question. All three of them had figured out, quickly, that the test was a test of their ability to cheat. Sasuke had his Sharingan eyes, able to pick up any detail, and Sakura had Kirei, who had glanced casually around the room and started tapping out coded answers quietly on her back with her tail. But at first, she had worried about Naruto, who they all readily admitted was not the fastest on the uptake at times, and had continued to worry even after he returned from his restroom break with a satisfied grin.
"Not true," argued Naruto, snorting and looking away. "Hinata-chan offered to let me copy her test, and I did have a look before I went back to my own test, in case my clones failed." Naruto had gone to the bathroom almost immediately after the test started, and while the instructor who escorted him gave him very little privacy, it was enough to set up a couple clones, carefully henged into little pink pucks and dropped into the urinals, to go look up the answers in the library under the guise of a couple random genin he had seen around before but not involved in the test.
"Ohhh, she did, did she?" Sakura smirked at Naruto. "Maybe you should do something to thank her, Naruto. She did take a risk to keep you around."
Naruto nodded, his face serious, almost contemplative. After a few moments, he smacked his fist into his palm and his eyes brightened. "I'll introduce her to Rock Lee! I bet they'd get along real good!"
Sasuke sighed deeply and shared a look with Sakura. How is he that socially inept, he thought, watching the blond take off at a run, screaming in glee, when they turned the corner and came within view of the ramen shop. He glanced at Sakura after that thought and saw her looking at him with a insufferable grin on her face, a grin perfectly matched by the cat on her shoulder. Ok, fine, I'm not one to judge, now get out of my head. Sakura did not say a word. Her grin said it all, and it did not fade, even as they ducked into the ramen stand and ordered.
Kakashi looked up at the door moments before it opened. He and Kurenai had been playing a card game with Asuma, and because they were shinobi, the real game was waiting to see when he would figure out that they were playing together against him. And now we'll never know, he thought with a sigh.
The door slid open, and Morino Ibiki stood outside the room, staring at them. Staring at me, thought Kakashi. He knew very little about the exam that Ibiki had put together, but he suspected a lot, based off the man's expertise and previous work. It was probably a pressure cooker, designed to scare potential applicants away. Ibiki was head of the Torture and Interrogation Force in Konohagakure for a reason. He was a master at inflicting fear.
"So," grunted Asuma, stubbing out his last cigarette and setting aside his cards a little too casually, as if he wasn't being drubbed by the other two, "How many of ours passed?"
"All of them." Ibiki did not smile, in the least, at that. He just kept staring at Kakashi, cold eyes set in his stony, scarred face.
Kakashi sighed. "What did Naruto do?"
Ibiki's stony glare faltered, and he started to laugh.
Author's Notes: I feel slightly bad, glossing over so much of the test, but when nothing changes, you don't really need me there to tell you, do you? The original chapter here was much longer, but it also felt very, very forced. Instead of the long and rather dull full version, I rewrote it as snippets for what actually changed in this version. Pity too, I really rather wanted to write more Ibiki, who is one of my favorites of the tertiary characters. He strikes me as very close to this version of Kakashi, someone who has crafted an image and carefully cultivates it to make himself more effective.
1979: I always found it odd that civilians are mostly background clutter in the series, and yet so deeply integrated into the setting. It's rather like having the population of Manhattan move into a CIA complex. I felt that there must be some degree of social separation between the two worlds, and this is what I settled on.