I did not fully realise that the timeline was reversing until I found myself first entering the sanctum with Ben again, then returning to the walk over here, and then immediately receding to our departure from Red Bay.
The past two days flew by in seconds, but I recounted every single moment in real-time when it happened. The supply lorries came in, my confrontation with the chief, my entire outing in City Three, the week of earning Red Bay's trust, my first arrival to the refugee town, destructively discombobulating the depot, squatting at the estate, and my first breath of Earth air after crash-landing my Cloud Runner. While not actually speaking in a verbal understanding, I could sense the vortigaunts observing my journey as it was playing back to them and were making blips of telepathic commentary. And just as much, almost like I were also making commentary alongside them.
"Resourceful. Steadfast."
"Deterred by little."
"Durable, yet vulnerable."
"Much has happened to make her so."
"Let us perceive further…"
This was what I essentially heard and felt when roughly translated to words, and such annotations continued by the time I returned to Venom's orbit shortly before the Alpha Quazar made a rift through dimensions. Within seconds, I was taken back through the long and restful days of lull aboard the Great Fox II with all of my dear friends, the concernment ceremony for our team after the Aparoids were destroyed, escaping the self-destructing Aparoid home world, killing the Aparoid queen within the planet, and the full extent of their conquest of the Lylat System and the role I played to help beat them back.
"An ample markswoman."
"Courageous container of viruses."
"Befitting for her present struggle alongside us," the non-voices said but also didn't, particularly over my battles in space from the Sargasso space station to the orbital containment of Katina.
I was now scrolling further back before the Aparoid invasion; I had been accepted and welcomed aboard as a fully-fledged member of Star Fox, then I was rolling back further to when I finished my courses in the Cornerian Flight Academy, and further back from that I had returned to Sauria, before my rescue at the Krazoa palace and before my confrontation with General Scales on his flying galleon, where I had relieved every battle I participated in alongside the ThornTail, EarthWalker and CloudRunner tribes as they beat back the brutal SharpClaws for dominance over the planet.
"Her devotion to helping those in need runs deep," the unvoiced sentiment rippled over reversing scenes of myself riding on the backs of CloudRunners as we made aerial strikes on SharpClaw strongholds.
"All of this ensued from a single distress call from the other end of the great gap."
"Pure of heart."
"One of the few that the life-givers saw worthy as a vessel."
"Their judgement was not erroneous."
"Indeed…"
Time recalled itself even further before I ever came to Sauria to where I was drifting across the Lylat System with my new interstellar shuttle I purchased on Fortuna in search of Cerinia before actually returning to the Fortuna research base where I had acquired it. Time scrolled back even further to where I worked various jobs across the base to afford flying lessons and my eventual ownership of that shuttle. Time continued rolling back to where I was fully revealing my presence to the Cornerian scientists after years of living in isolation in the Fortunian wilderness.
Scrolling back even further, before I felt ready to return to space, I was recalled to the years where I had lived a nomadic life alone in adolescence and for most of my childhood, learning and perfecting the mastery of the magic contained inside my staff and perfecting my emotional discipline. I had spent many years on this planet, training to be self-sufficient, and the years sped backwards in only seconds before I recalled myself on the ship that took me to Fortuna as a child―one that I was a stowaway on.
I returned to my earliest remembered years as a small child, before I received the premonition to seek isolation on Fortuna. I was transferred between many different orphanages across Corneria. My caretakers didn't know how to care for me due to my aggressive behaviour and my vehement disinterest in socialising. My innate telepathy, in many ways, was far stronger and less disciplined when I was just a little girl, no older than four at the peak of it.
I would always hear two sets of voices in each person, and they sometimes contradicted what the other said. I didn't know what was happening or who I could trust, so I distanced myself. I was feeling the loneliness and ostracization all over again. It was unbearable, and my mutual curators were also partaking in it.
"To be alone without one's kin."
"The need for grieving when prior remembrance is lost."
"Who will we be without them?"
Soon enough, I was finally back to the earliest recalled memory of my life, which was laying in a small bunk inside a clean but dark enclosed area with one light on in the hall outside, holding my retracted staff like it were my mother's arm. I couldn't remember just where exactly I was, but I had always assumed in hindsight that this mysterious and lonely place was some kind of detention centre for lost toddlers. Curiously, time scrolled back no further than this. This didn't surprise me too much given that this was my earliest memory, but I knew there was more to see. Perhaps I was truly too young to remember anything before this, or maybe there was another reason as my curators pondered.
"There is a prevention."
"A barrier in reminiscence."
"There is an unknown purpose to our prohibition. A deliberate sojourn."
"There mustn't be a hastening. Such a barrier cannot be there without good reason."
"To test the limits of the barrier poses potential perils. Where is the wisdom in defying it?"
"Wisdom can only be earned by action," the corner of the collective consciousness that contained the most of me objected. "The probable repercussions cannot be overlooked, but the past can no longer be obscured in secrecy. The Krystal has been deprived of knowledge for long enough; she is prepared to handle whatever consequence is ushered from the breach."
There was a stir of contemplation as my earliest memory simmered on idle, though an agreement was decided upon promptly enough. The obstruction that prohibited further exploration was a strong one, but not impenetrable. It was certain that it could be pushed passed with enough willpower, and we had enough larval extract to will it so. Perhaps the block wasn't meant to be up indefinitely; maybe it was to remain there until the time came when it could be torn down. The greater part of myself was more than convinced that now was the time to finally see my full past.
Our concentration was immense, powerful enough to threaten the stability of our immersion, though it was ultimately conquered, opening the way that I had never realised had been closed off. I, though not completely recognized by the others in my mind space, considered that my memories had been repressed by some kind of trauma response. I was an orphan after all; maybe I saw something before this memory that caused me to forget. I wish I had treated my toddler self with greater respect, because once we finally managed to push past this memory, I understood why my subconscious buried it for so many years, and almost pleaded that we ended this submersion in that instant, yet I could not stop the flooding of forgotten memories made new again.
In an uncontrolled linear sequence, I found myself within the arms of a giant. Or rather, it was me who was tiny. I was being held extremely close to the chest of the robed adult carrying me as he sprinted across a courtyard of some kind plotted with tall narrow trees. My vision was rather blurry, making fine details obscured, but I knew that something terrible was happening.
The sky was red and was quickly turning black while sunlight still basked the landscape. There was a flurry in the air yet no wind blew. I lacked a thorough understanding of most things, yet even I knew that something terribly wrong was happening.
"I… I'm scared…" I squeaked, on the verge of tears as I tried to sink my head into the large sleeves of my carrier's dark blue robe.
"Hush, child. Do not fret. You will be safe. That is all we can do now…" his old voice promised, though nearly as choked up as me, which did not reassure me.
A massive flight of bright marble steps came before us, but the old man soared up them with no hindrance to his speed. The world around us howled with disruption, and even my toddler self understood rather quickly that it meant doom, which was finally what made me start crying. "Always were a smart girl…" the old man heaved with wafting exhaustion.
We made it to the summit soon enough where we came upon an open plot of land with many small stones laid about into circular patterns on the grass. I recognized this place for I had been here several times before. It was here did we met up with another figure; a woman wearing a similar blue robe to the one carrying me, who ran to meet us.
"You have reclaimed her?!" she exclaimed in both amazement and terror. "But…the scribes! The Echelon's Guard!"
"They are dealt with!" my carrier said with resolve and with remorse. "Help me open the gateway! We cannot waste any more time. She has to leave. She must leave!"
The blurry woman turned back towards a large stone archway towards the centre of the garden, leaving me to take in the implications of what was being discussed.
"I… I don't want to go! I want to stay with you and Mother!"
My carrier held me up before his old face, revealing him to be an elderly fox with deep cobalt-coloured fur and a grey chin, which grew tufts of fur long enough to resemble a beard. It was the gentle face of my father―a face that I can't believe I had ever forgotten.
"My dear Krystal. Our precious little starlight…" he smiled with moistening eyes. "We must stay behind to keep the gateway open so that you can be safe. It is our divine destiny to ensure your survival. You must do as you're told…"
I began to sob, knowing the magnitude of his motives before I fully realised it. "I can't… Don't leave me…"
The woman quickly hurried back to my father's said. The older vixen had striking metallic-silvery fur with many white markings underneath her eyes. Her robe's hood was pulled back, revealing her to have lush locks of blue hair that were long enough to reach the midpoint of her back. Tears were in her sweet eyes as she tenderly stroked the fur on my cheeks.
"We will always be with you, love," she promised, smiling as she tried her best to hold back her tears for me. "Whenever you feel alone, or whenever the universe gives you a rotten day, remember that we are forever in your heart. We will always love you, even when you can't see us…"
The last line made her composure crack a little, which made me bawl up even more so. My father and my mother both then held me close as I cried into their arms, trying to desperately hold on tight to them to never let them go. "You must be strong now, precious starlight," my father instructed, his firm voice threatening to choke on his grief. "Trust your instincts. They will be your guiding light through your life as you grow. And this…"
My father managed to snatch something hidden from under his robe with his free arm while his other helped to hold me. I lifted my head to see what he was doing and saw that gleaming golden tool with the two gems on both sides of its leaf-shaped end that would be one of the most important things in my life. "You must now receive it early, Krystal. You must learn too much sooner than you were meant to. Keep it close. Take care of it, and it will take care of you."
He gave the retracted staff to me and I held it in my little hands, which were too small to fully grip around the shortened hilt. While amid my sorrow, I couldn't help but marvel at its ornamental design, though my admiration had to wait. The world was collapsing in on itself after all, and that harrowing reality was starting to close in on us as the sky turned more vicious. I looked up and saw our sun's light warping and bending around a terrifying black circle in the darkening sky, almost like a ring of light was being outfitted around it. It grew frighteningly bigger with each passing second, which pushed my parents to act quickly.
"Make haste! There is no more time!" my father shouted.
I can recall very little in the time between then as my parents activated the portal given how violently I protested the actions being taken while also being restrained, but before I knew it, I was then placed inside some kind of invisible binding force that kept me fixed before stone archway, which was now blazing with a blue wall of energy that was swirling with particles flowing into it, visibly illustrating the subtle pulling effect it was having on me as well. However, none of that was noticed by me; I was far too busy begging my parents not to send me away to wherever the gateway was set to bridge.
To quell my cries, my parents knelt and embraced me, which worked all too effectively in making me shut up. I knew instantly that this would be the last time I would ever feel their warm embraces ever again, so I followed their lead and hugged their arms, stifling dreadful sobs. "I love you…" I croaked, hardly managing a decipherable sentence, but my parents translated it perfectly.
"We love our starlight…" my mother cooed lovingly, forcing herself to remain tranquil for my sake.
"We love her with all of our hearts," my father said, moments before they reluctantly pulled away from me as the world around us threatened to be consumed by the incoming darkness. My parents looked at me with true and honest love, remaining composed and strong despite the tears streaming from their eyes, "And we will always be within yours, Krystal," my mother reminded me.
"Even if you forget, that will never change," my father added. "Stay honest and true to yourself, Krystal. You are our future. We will begin again with you…"
The gateway's power had grown strong enough now to where I was being pulled towards it and away from my parents, who remained on their knees as they both held each other, maintaining their loving smiles as they held their gaze on me for as long as time would allow. I too could not afford to look away. I would never see them again; I wanted to soak up as much of their radiance before the chance to fade away forever, which came to pass moments after.
I held my new retracted staff close to me as I sobbed in silence, seeing my parents slowly drift away from me as the gateway pulled me in. Even though the all-encompassing mass of darkness in the sky had already arrived and was now presently consuming the entire world whole before my very eyes, my eyes remained fixed on my parents, who did not flee, and instead kept their enchanted hands on the stones to ensure that I was carried through to safety, smiling upon me fondly as I fully passed through before the darkness had consumed them too along with what remained of my home.
This was when my immersion in the vortessence had finally reached its conclusion. It was not a dramatic awakening in the slightest; my eyes simply opened up like I had awoken from a nap, though I would not brand it as a pleasant one. Fresh tears soaked the fur beneath my eyes as I reeled in what I had just witnessed. I did not have a clue as to what to make of what I just saw at the moment, and it seemed like the vortigaunts didn't either.
They too had awoken just as bewildered and without words to describe what they underwent while being amerced as me, and I could see tears streaming from all four of the eyes that each of them had. A deafening silence hung over all of us as we thought over what we witnessed together, and one by one, the vortigaunts with their bewildered gazes turned to me, with a mixed sense of pity and mutual heartbreak. I hardly acknowledged their stares as I stared at my feet.
I didn't know what to feel or how to feel after experiencing that, and I still couldn't days after. At the moment, however, I did my best to process my revelations in small strides. A crucial clue had finally landed on my lap after years of turning up nothing in my search for Cerinia. I wish I felt happy knowing this, but it was dreadfully hard to after essentially reliving my traumatic separation from my parents, along with the love I felt for them finally emerging from the depths of my repressed feelings.
I said nothing as I reflected on what I relived more than a dozen times, and the vortigaunts respected that enough to remain quiet and give me space. Ben walked me back to Red Bay a short while later, though our return journey was now a different kind of quiet this time around. I had been dreadfully stoic the whole way back, though bid him goodnight once it was time to depart from each other again, marking my first words spoken since the emergence, garnering a mutual grunt from the equally stoic Ben.
I held it together up until I finally got back in my bed, where I then began sobbing myself to sleep for the first time since I was a small child―no older than I was in the reclaimed memory.