Temari laughed when she saw the bedraggled creature that was her foe. The blond girl was almost a mockery of what Temari had been taught made a good kunoichi, and contrasted sharply with her own appearance. Ino's hair was long and luxurious, running down to her hips, while Temari kept hers in a series of short bobs. Ino's arms and legs had no definition, showed no sign of hard work at all, while Temari's frame was well filled with lean muscle. Ino had any number of loose articles of clothing to grab and control her with, while Temari's outfit was carefully tailored to remain close to her skin and much harder to grab. Temari laughed, because she was facing a joke.
The only saving grace she saw in Ino was the look in the girl's eyes. She expected Ino to be catty, full of false bravado, or maybe friendly, trying to soften the blow of her inevitable loss. But when the girl looked at Temari, it was a cold and calculating stare, and Temari felt a touch of respect. The girl was ill prepared for the chunin exams, but she looked like she knew it. She still had no chance against Temari, but she might make a good kunoichi some day.
Temari drew her weapon from her back, a four foot fan made of steel with a paper cover. She slapped the end of the handle on the ground and let it unfurl slightly, revealing a single large purple dot on the otherwise white fan. "I will need only a single moon to defeat you. Feel proud, kunoichi. If it were not for the look in your eyes, I wouldn't even give you that much credit."
Ino did not look away, nor did she say anything. She studied Temari carefully during her entire speech, then nodded to Hayate to indicate she was ready.
Shikamaru sighed from his place on the balcony as he leaned on the railing. "This match is going to be troublesome," he said quietly to himself. To his surprise, Sakura noticed his grumbles, and leaned on the rail next to him.
"How bad is it?" she asked.
"Bad," he replied. "The three of us are specialists. We focus on our clan techniques, and use them as a group to control the battlefield." He let out another sigh as Hayate jumped away. Ino threw a kunai at Temari, who swung her fan and casually knocked the blade away with a gust of wind. "But what we don't have is a lot of one on one stopping power. Choji has most of our strength. And Ino has it worse, because her clan technique is slow moving and ranged."
Ino was jumping around the arena, avoiding further blasts of wind from Temari. From the look on the Suna genin's face, Ino was doing a much better job at dodging than Temari had expected. But Ino already looked winded, her poor physical conditioning starting to make itself known. From time to time, she would toss another kunai or two, and Temari would dutifully blow those away too.
"Does she have any hope?" asked Sakura, watching the somewhat one sided fight with a concerned frown.
Shikamaru seemed to shrink slightly into himself as he pressed his fingers and thumbs together and crouched slightly. He shut his eyes and for a moment he went silent and still. Eventually he relaxed and returned to his previous slouch on the railing, continuing talking as if he had never paused. "She has a nominal load-out for an on duty shinobi. Kunai, a few feet of wire, a few smoke pellets, ration bars, iodine drops. She has her clan technique, which is almost a certain win if she can hit with it, and the academy standard techniques. I can think of a few things she can do to set up a win. My concern is if she will think of any before it's too late. She's down to her last kunai already."
On the floor, Ino was holding on to a single kunai held in both hands and was panting heavily as sweat rolled down her face. Temari had yet to move any meaningful distance, and was standing at rest, her fan held to her left side, ready to swing.
The Suna genin was breathing evenly, without a drop of sweat or hair out of place. "Hardly impressive," she said with a nasty grin. "Lots of sweat and puffing, all to throw a few useless kunai. Maybe you should yield now and save yourself the trouble."
For the first time, Ino smiled, and her voice was lighter than it had been since the forest... and Sasuke. "Nothing wrong with getting a feel for your opponent, even one as mouthy as you!" She struck a victory pose, one hand behind her back and one arm forward with fingers extended into a "v" shape. She was smiling cheerfully as she shouted out, "I've got you now, bushy hair!"
The smoke pellets from her pouch, every one of them, dropped from the hand behind her back and exploded into a disgustingly thick cloud of smoke. Temari laughed and then swung her fan from left to right, blowing it back, but between the tight confines of the room and the sheer thickness of the smoke, she was unable to dissipate it completely. It was pushed back enough to reveal Ino, who was charging at Temari with her kunai in hand and a focused glare. Something felt wrong to about the situation to Temari, and it took her a moment to figure it out.
She didn't move when I blew back the smoke! Temari was no lightweight when it came to her wind jutsu. A skinny thing like Ino should have at least been blown off balance. To see her charging and unmoved implied something was up, and only a cursory glance told Temari that the Ino in front of her was a harmless illusion. But where could she be? Temari smiled a nasty grin. She had been paying attention to the previous fight, and she knew this trick.
Temari used the weight and momentum of her fan, still coming to rest after her last blast of wind, to spin quickly to her right and spotted the real Ino attacking from behind and getting close. "Not nearly good enough," she shouted, continuing her previous spin and sending another powerful blast of air at the girl.
The air passed through Ino without even ruffling her hair, and Temari cursed herself mentally. Who would try the same trick mere minutes after we both saw it? She continued to turn to her right, sacrificing power for speed as she realized her back was to her foe, and completed the turn to see Ino almost within reach. Temari swung her fan as hard and fast as possible at Ino's face.
Ino was already dropping into a roll by the time Temari had fully turned. She tumbled under the fan, the wind from its passing shredding a few strands of loose hair, and came up within Temari's guard, both arms lashing straight out in a desperate strike. Temari flinched back slightly, and Ino's hit only managed to ruffle cloth. Temari raised her fan up for a downward strike with a laugh, then stopped when Ino slumped the the ground.
Temari lowered the fan, setting it on the ground, then stepped forward and nudged Ino with her foot, turning her over. The girl was covered in bruises and minor abrasions from her efforts, and her skin was filthy from the thick smoke, but she had a huge smile on her face.
"Pathetic," said Temari, looking at her fallen foe. Temari stepped back, almost to the edge of the arena, then turned around to face the wall and raised her hand. "I give up," she shouted clearly.
In the stands, Shikamaru smirked. "When you have a slow attack," he said quietly to Sakura, who was staring open mouthed at the two girls below, "You have to make your foe stand still... or get so close it doesn't matter."
Temari slumped for a moment, then whirled, her face going red as Ino pulled herself up, still panting. She shot Temari a grim smile as she stood, propping herself up with her hands on her knees. "You don't dodge," she said, slowly straightening. "You never once dodged, even though you could have easily avoided some of my kunai with a simple step to the side. You use your fan as a shield, and when I got inside your shield, your habit of immobility betrayed you." She let out a harsh sigh and turned to Hayate, who was walking forward and calling Ino the winner of the match.
"I give up too."
Hayate froze, and a single eyebrow rose slightly, although the image was ruined when another cough made his cheeks blowout for a moment. Along the balconies, there was only silence, even amongst the Suna team. Only two other figures reacted physically to the declaration. Her jonin teacher, Sarutobi Asuma, groaned and ran a palm over his face. And his father, the Hokage, smiled discreetly.
Ino bowed deeply to Asuma. "I am not fit for the rank of chunin. I have no experience with leadership, I have little ability beyond my clan techniques, and I have not put forth the effort needed to survive in the real world of the shinobi." She bowed to the Hokage, and if anything, her bow was deeper than before. "I ask your forgiveness, Hokage-sama, for so poorly representing Konohagakure."
Hiruzen stepped forward on his platform, then gave her a short and respectful bow. When he rose, he was smiling. "You put the duties of the chunin rank and the needs of the village ahead of personal prestige and advancement. I only wish every Konoha shinobi represented this village so well."
Ino rose with a cheerful smile on her face. But the Hokage was no longer smiling, instead frowning and looking beyond her. She heard Sakura and several others shout from the stands, and she felt a jolt of adrenaline as she turned to see Temari behind her, fan folded tight and already moving on an intercept course for her head. In an adrenaline fueled slow motion, Ino realized she could never dodge in time, even as she started to step back and raise her arms to defend herself.
Then Temari's fan exploded, tiny pieces of steel spraying across the arena, slashing into Ino's face and arms. She finished her step back to see Temari's own Jonin standing in front of her, one hand holding half of Temari's fan, the other half held out in the air in front of him, where a significant portion of the fan had explode at his touch. He wore a cloth shroud over half of his face, but the other half looked thunderous, and his glare was directed only at Temari, who was standing with the remaining stub of her fan still extended.
"Baki," she shouted at him, tossing the remains of the fan to the ground, "Why the hell did you do that?"
Baki dropped the other half he was carrying and crossed his arms. "You lost," he said, his voice deep and rough as if his throat had been damaged in the past, which only enhanced the menace in his voice. "Attacking a foe after you have lost the match dishonors your father's name, your village's name, my name as your sensei, and last and in this case certainly least, your name." He nudged the tattered iron fan with his foot and gave her a cool smile.
"You will have time to reflect on this over the weeks it will take to rebuild your fan. And it will take weeks, because you, personally, will handle every part of that construction. You will carve the wooden case, by hand. You will create the molds for the blades, one at a time, and destroy them after each use, creating only one blade per mold. You will mine the iron ore from the earth, and you will smelt it yourself to rid it of impurities. And before any of that, you will explain this to your father, and do any additional tasks he assigns you. And until all of this is done, you will not take any mission on behalf of Sunagakure, not even the lowliest of D-ranks."
He turned as Temari snarled behind him and bowed to the Hokage, his bearing showing nothing but respect. "Apologies, Hokage-sama. This is the second of my genin to attack after a match has ended, and while Gaara has... problems that make him difficult to control, Temari has no excuse." Hiruzen nodded in acknowledgement, and Baki jumped back to his place on the platforms without another word.
The medics arrives and started to encourage Ino to come with them, already dabbing at a few of the cuts she had sustained when the fan exploded, but she stopped when Temari called out to her. She turned to see Temari standing there, her eyes shining as she blinked back her tears.
"If you were going to quit," Temari shouted, as a single tear of heated shame finally escaped and ran down her face, "Why did you compete? Why did you rob me of my chance?"
Ino shook her head and gave Temari a tired grin. "I was going to quit. Then you mouthed off, and I figured I'd make you earn your win before I gave up. Then you kept mouthing off after I ran out of kunai, and in the time you gave me with your smarmy words, I figured out how to crush you. Every time you opened your mouth, I decided I could go a little further, try a little harder. In a way, I couldn't have done it without you."
She shrugged and started to follow the medics, waving her hand lazily behind her as she did so. "Next time," she called out cheerfully, "Maybe you should just shut up, you cranky bitch."
Naruto was rubbing his hands together and staring at the board when Sakura wandered back to her team. She shot him a look, then turned to Sasuke, who rolled his eyes. She then looked to Kakashi, who shook his head and turned away. "What are you doing?" she asked Naruto. The boy was practically dancing from foot to foot, and at the rate he was going, Sakura would not be terribly surprised if his stare caused the board to burst into spontaneous flame.
"I know I'm next," said Naruto, letting out a faux evil chuckle. "I've been good, I've been patient, and we're running out of contestants. I'm going to be next. I can feel it in my very soul." He spread his arms and stepped towards the board slightly, shouting loud enough to be heard across the arena. "And the winner is..."
The names popped up.
"Misume, Yoroi, come down please," said Hayate, trying not to grin at the kid in orange who was having a screaming fit up on the platforms, struggling against the little pink haired girl who had him in a headlock.
Sasuke swallowed nervously, but he refused to look away.
Misume and Yoroi were teammates. They were friends. How could they?
They had exchanged banter before the match, and when Hayate started the fight, they had both charged. Neither one tried to dodge or avoid the other. Yoroi held out his glowing blue hands and grabbed at Misume, even as Misume wrapped his suddenly flexible arms around Yoroi's chest and head.
"That's silly of you, Misume," grunted Yoroi, wheezing slightly under the pressure of the headlock he was in. "You know I'll drain your chakra dry. Just by touching you, I will."
Misume had smiled coldly at his teammate's words. His arms had flexed, and Yoroi had time for only a single, ghastly yelp as his neck cracked under the pressure. Misume let his former teammate's body slump to the floor, and his parting words to his dying friend were, "Not fast enough to win."
How could he? How could he? Kakashi noticed Sasuke's distress and patted him on the back, steering the genin away to look at him. He looked at Sakura and Naruto, and felt a slight bit of pride at the fact that neither of them looked any better than Sasuke. "Yoroi assumed he knew his foe's limits. He assumed he was safe. He lost from that assumption." He gave each of them a hard stare. "If you face each other in battle, I hope none of you would go so far. I believe none of you would go so far. But I never want any of you to make that assumption and leave your guard down. And if you do manage to willingly strike down your teammate…" Kakashi stood, gazing down at them, allowing a little killing intent to fill his words with fury and darkness and death.
"If you strike down your friend, pray they strike you down at the same time, because if not, I'll kill you myself, and it will not be an easy death." He turned to watch Misume, who was standing over his kill, arms crossed, as if daring someone to object. Even the cold gaze of the Hokage did not faze him. Kakashi chuckled darkly and shook his head at the bravado. "As for him, he might have won the fight, but he lost his future. What friend would risk themselves to come to his aid? What teammate would join him in a fight against a dangerous foe? Who would show him mercy on the battlefield? He's dead, he just doesn't know it yet." Kakashi leaned against the railing, his frame drooping slightly, and for just a moment, he looked like an old man, too tired to stand.
Sasuke looked at his teammates, then walked over and joined Kakashi at the railing. "If it comes to that," he said quietly, "let me know, and I'll tag along. We'll make a field trip out of that mission." Kakashi looked at Sasuke, who managed to keep his face deadly serious for almost five seconds before one corner of his mouth ticked upward, and after a moment, Kakashi started to laugh.
"Maa, maa, I get it," he said, waving his hands. "Really. I can almost imagine what my old teammate would say. 'Kakashi-san, stop being so angsty.' 'Kakashi-san, if you want, we can go get some hair dye and makeup after the mission, make you a proper goth-chan.' He always was quick to give me shit when I got in a mood." He reached out and ruffled Sasuke's hair, getting a frown and a grumble from the Uchiha boy, who started tucking his hair back into place beneath the goggles he still had on his head. Kakashi felt a sudden pang of sorrow, of guilt, at the memory of his old friend, long gone. But he let it go, and focused on what was in front of him, not behind him.
"You know," he said, his one eye twinkling, "you remind me of him a great deal. Remind me to tell you about Uchiha Obito when this is done, okay?"
Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted when Naruto started cheering, as if he had already forgotten what he had seen. Sasuke looked towards the board and smiled. Naruto finally has his match.
"Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru, please come down for your match."
Naruto leaped from the balcony with a cheer that lasted all the way to the ground. He landed with a tuck and roll, bouncing to his feet and raising his arms like a prize fighter, circling in place and shouting indiscriminate self praise to the world. He didn't hear the scoff from Kiba, the snort from Sakura, or the quiet encouragement from Hinata, and even if he had, he would not have reacted any differently.
He was Uzumaki Naruto, and it was time for him to shine. He could already hear the calls of the crowd, feel the flutter of confetti as it fell around him after his stunning victory. He bowed, imagining himself receiving a medal from the Hokage as Sakura and Sasuke waited for their own, for second and third place, of course.
"You look like an idiot," said Shikamaru, trudging slowly past the bouncing blond.
Asuma, meanwhile, was walking over to Team Seven's place with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Hey, Kakashi," he called, lighting a cigarette with exaggerated motions, "What do you say to double or nothing on this fight? I'll double my penalty if Shikamaru loses, against the original penalty of yours if he wins?"
Kakashi agreed with a curt nod, and Asuma laughed and pumped his fist. "What's so funny?" asked Sakura, pressing her fists to her waist with a look of poorly constrained fury, Kieri hissing slightly at the jonin from her shoulder. "Naruto's not the brightest…" They turned as one to watch Naruto continue his preemptive strutting, "But he's got a lot of guts and a lot of tricks."
Asuma waved his hands amiably. "I'm not saying he's not a good kid, and I bet he'd put quite a challenge to my other two genin, but Shikamaru is a tactical genius. Give him even the slightest chance to think, and he'll walk all over you."
"Then maybe you won't mind me joining in with a wager." Guy had wandered over as well, and Kakashi noticed with the aid of long familiarity that the normally boisterous jonin was fighting to remain calm and serious. "I think I am going to lose my bet with Kakashi, but I have an offer between the three of us. If Naruto wins, you double your time again. If Shikamaru wins, I wear the spandex of shame for the entirety of your previous bet." Asuma looked at Kakashi and raised an eyebrow, while behind him, Guy gave an exaggerated wink to Kakashi.
"Sounds fair to me," said Kakashi in a bored tone of voice.
Asuma turned from the group and walked away, already crowing, and in doing so, unknowingly imitating the blond in the arena floor, move for move. Kakashi leaned slightly towards Guy and whispered, "Does this mean we're going to see what you taught him, besides how to swing overly expensive swords like a novice?"
Guy gave a serious nod, and without a word, crossed his arms and leaned back to watch.
When Hayate jumped away, Shikamaru was already tense. Naruto was a brawler, always was, always would be, and Shikamaru was certainly not. He expected the blond to charge him immediately with reckless abandon, right into the path of his shadow binding jutsu. From there, it was as simple as miming the action of drawing one of Naruto's swords and holding it to his own neck to get Naruto to yield.
Instead of charging, however, Naruto crossed his arms and smirked. They both waited for some time, neither one moving, until a full minute had passed. "I'm shocked, Naruto," Shikamaru eventually said. "I've never seen you hold still for more than a few seconds. This must be a record."
Naruto laughed, not some faint and socially required chuckle, but a full laugh, full of mirth. "Nahh, I was thinking. I know you're smart as hell, Shikamaru. I also know that if you didn't trap me, I'd pummel you. And either way, this is not a deadly battle to either of us, so we have some leeway in how we fight. So how about we make this interesting?"
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in surprise, then nodded. "Let's hear it."
"Let's test your intellect versus what Guy-sensei calls my cunning. I won't bum rush you with clones or nothing. I'll set up some ground rules and limit myself to them. You'll have to figure out how to beat me, within my own self imposed limits. No hard work, no tedious dodging, just figure it out and you'll win. How's that sound?"
Shikamaru snorted. It sounded like a dream come true, and like most dreams, it couldn't be real. "This is a fight between shinobi, Naruto. Why would I trust you to keep your word?"
Naruto looked hurt at this. "Have you ever seen me go back on my word, Shikamaru?"
Shikamaru thought very carefully on that. Naruto is troublesome, but he's also a horrible liar. He always managed to pull off some incredible pranks, only to be caught when Iruka would directly question him. He's offering to reduce his own options, without requiring any sort of guarantee from me. And if he does break his word, I'll be in no worse a position then I already am.
"Fine," he said, shifting from his ready stance to his customary slouch. "Let's get this done and over with."
Naruto grinned and pressed his hands together. In a massive puff of smoke, he summoned exactly one hundred clones, who fanned out and spaced themselves evenly across the arena floor. Shikamaru was spooked at first, but every single clone kept their hands up, and many of them even turned their backs to him. Once they had settled, Naruto pulled out a storage scroll from his carryall. The scroll was quite thick, and each clone pulled out an identical scroll.
Naruto raised his scroll, and with glee, he shouted to the entire arena, "Now, see my ultimate technique! One Hundred and One Games for Bunshin to Play!" Every clone pulled at their scroll, and the arena filled with smoke as each one summoned an object from it.
Shikamaru ducked and rolled to one side, but nobody attacked him, and the smoke dissipated quickly… to reveal chaos.
Every clone was doing something different. There was no such thing as taking in every activity with a single glance. Shikamaru eyes were first drawn to the two clones who, between them, were setting up a Go board. Another clone jumped over the board, running fast as he could as he tried to keep a paper kite aloft in the windless environment of the arena. He ran by another clone who was hopping on a pogo stick, who then tripped over the pair setting up two long jump ropes, causing the clones waiting in line to grumble and complain. The noise of one hundred loud mouthed Narutos was deafening in the confined space, and all that moving orange registered as a blur of motion whenever Shikamaru's eyes lost their focus on an individual.
It was chaos, pure, unfiltered chaos.
Up on the balcony, Kakashi groaned and held his head in his hands while his team watched in surprised silence. "What did you do?" he asked nobody in particular.
Guy overheard him and laughed. "Tenten helped him with the scroll, I helped him get the goods he needed for the modifications, but for the most part, he did it himself. He sent hundreds of clones out each day to scrounge the junkyards and garbage cans of Konohagakure, and they managed to find and repair almost everything in the scroll, although he did need assistance with some of the more mechanical items." Guy smiled proudly, just as much as he would for his own students, because in a way, Naruto was. "I didn't teach him order. He will never be the sort to perform kata and make elaborate plans, and forcing such a wonderful round peg into a square hole would be unyouthful. So I encouraged his chaos."
As Shikamaru looked around, another clone walked up, this one henged into a circus ringmaster, remarkably realistic, down to the silver headed cane and the shining gold buttons on his red coat. He gave Shikamaru an elaborate bow.
"The rules are simple," said the Ringmaster. "Find the real me. No clone will attack you unless their playtime is disturbed. Once disturbed, they are allowed to fight, and they are shadow clones, so they can hurt you. The real me is allowed to act normally." Naruto grinned at Shikamaru, and the grin did not fall from his face when Shikamaru immediately flicked a kunai at the ringleader, who vanished with a puff of smoke when hit.
Damn, thought Shikamaru, I had to try. He must have swapped out during the initial clone summons.
"It's not that easy," came a call from the crowd behind him. Shikamaru whirled, but whoever had spoke was mixed in with that half of the milling, playing, chatty crowd. A single Naruto shouted, and a bell rang. Shikamaru turned to see one of the Narutos on a bike, a tiny little three wheeler suitable to a kid half his age. When Shikamaru did not move from his path, the Naruto rang the little bell mounted on the handle again and glared at him.
Shikamaru stepped aside. "Right, sorry," he said, stepping out of the way.
"No problem," replied the clone cheerfully, before peddling awkwardly, his legs moving furiously as his ride slowly crept along. Shikamaru turned to look through the crowd, and only barely heard the muffled "jerk" from the clone.
Shikamaru sunk down into a crouch, bringing his hands up in his meditative pose as he considered his options. He looked around at the crowds, taking in what detail he could from them as he thought. All of them are completely engrossed in what they are doing, possibly to avoid the temptation to break the rules. A lot of them are also playing active games, probably in the hopes of running into me.
He watched an impromptu game of tag happen between a team. One clone tripped and hit the ground hard enough to vanish. Another clone looked up from his finger paints and made the same hand sign the original had made at the beginning, and a new clone appeared in the lost one's place. By then, Shikamaru's kunai was already in flight. It pierced the sign making Naruto in the shoulder, and he vanished with a puff of smoke. "He's on to the hand signs," several of the nearby clones shouted. "Activate Shuffle Mode!" shouted several others.
Shikamaru sighed as every few seconds one or more clones would pause what they were doing and make the seal of the shadow clone technique, regardless if any clones needed replacing. "Only you would be this troublesome, Naruto!" he said in annoyance.
"I know, right," said a new Ringleader, walking up next to him. Shikamaru eyed the potential clone suspiciously, and it raised its hands slightly. "Sorry, sorry, I got replaced a few cycles ago, and my game is to annoy the contestants. All part of the show."
Shikamaru sighed and hung his head as several clones started walking on the edge of the platform railings, carrying small trays and shouting about peanuts and pretzels. It didn't help seeing the blond girl from Suna munching on a bag of them with a malicious grin on her face, her entire bearing indicating that, as much as her match sucked, she was now certain it could have been worse, never mind watching Choji trying to snatch an entire tray from a passing clone. Sakura was laughing like a madwoman, while Sasuke seemed focused on trying to find the real Naruto first with his sharingan. Even then Hokage seemed amused, although he was struggling valiantly not to crack a smile.
One of the clones finally got their accordion tuned and started playing. Badly. The ringleader clone winced, then buffed his fingers against his jacket. "It only gets worse, you know," he said casually. "I've seen the rehearsals. It takes about ten minutes before they get the potato gun operating. After that, it only takes a little longer before it explodes and starts disturbing play time for others." Shikamaru's eyes widened, and the ringleader grinned. "I never said you had to disturb them, you know."
Shikamaru immediately stabbed the ringleader, who was far too smug, and watched him vanish again. Shit, he thought, turning slowly in a circle. Of all the times to not have a mass attack. Just my luck. Focus. Think. How is the real Naruto any different from the clones?
He started to walk through the crowds, carefully picking his way past the two playing with a frisbee, and stepping carefully over the jacks game. He was so careful in avoiding the games of those around him, in fact, that he missed the line that had formed around a small table where two clones were arm wrestling.
The moment he stepped through the line, the clone in front of him shouted, "No cuts, you jerk!" It lashed out with one of its swords, windmilling rapidly but ineffectively as Shikamaru backed up hurriedly. It was then that he discovered that the jacks the two clones were playing with were in fact small caltrops, which neatly sliced through his sandals and into his foot. As the jacks players stood and drew their swords, he dropped a smoke bomb and henged into a clone himself, then took a seat next to a pair of clones playing checkers with an air of serious business about them.
"Smooth," said one of the clones, reaching out to move a red piece forward. He sat back and much to Shikamaru's chagrin, the clone imitated his thinking pose with an annoying degree of accuracy. The previously upset clones, not seeing where their target had gone, returned back to their places and continued on as if nothing had happened.
So the clones will reset, at least for the moment, if I manage to escape fully… or Naruto wants me to think that. Shikamaru felt a moment of dread settle in the pit of his stomach. He was not accustomed to assigning the possibility of Naruto's intelligence being significant to his thoughts, but under the circumstances, he realized that he could make no assumptions. He froze and looked at the clone that he spoken to him with some trepidation. "You're not going to tell me that watching is disturbing you, are you?" asked Shikamaru quietly.
"Nahh," said the clone, waving his hand quietly, "I'm okay with observers in my games." He smiled cheerfully, just as the clone across from him raised his hands in the snake seal and grinned. "That guy, on the other hand…" His words were cut off as the explosive tag under the checkers board detonated, dispelling them both and nearly hitting Shikamaru as he scrambled away.
How troublesome. Shikamaru was starting to really appreciate Naruto's little game. He had no idea what may or may not anger each clone individually, up to and including looking at them. In his mind's eye, he could see Naruto dropping this against a real opponent and telling the clones to attack at will, or follow some pattern, or in order, or even whenever their foe turned their back. It was a tactic that could not be second guessed, because it made no sense, and the only one who could know the rules for certain was the real Naruto himself.
I would kill to be able to make shadow clones like he does.
Shikamaru looked around and found the Ringmaster wandering around casually. He waved the red jacket over and asked, "Can I ask them questions, or does that count as disturbing them?"
The ringmaster shrugged. "Yeah, sure, this is a contest, so go for it." When Shikamaru gave him he look, he grinned nastily and called out to the crowd, "Uzumaki update! Shikamaru can ask you questions, and it does not count as disturbing play. Got it?" The hundred clones all shouted in agreement.
Shikamaru immediately turned and walked over to the frisbee throwers, who paused to watch him. "Hey," he said casually, ready to dodge at a moment's notice in case the update rule was a trick, "Would you find it amusing to show me your hidden weapon?" The two Naruto glanced at each other, grinned, and the one furthest from Shikamaru flipped the frisbee over to show the explosive tag on the underside.
"Thanks," said Shikamaru, backing away until they continued to play with each other. He then turned to the next set…
Over seven minutes, Shikamaru quickly determined that Naruto was either insane, ingenious, or most likely, both. Every clone had some sort of surprise waiting for him. The pawns from the chess board were actually cylinders of explosives, which would detonate when pressed and thrown. The kite was harmless, but the string the user held it by was ninja wire, shaved thin enough to cut. The jump ropes had explosive tags rolled on the handles. The pogo stick had a frankly terrifying spring loaded kunai launcher built into its guts.
He also saw the potato gun under construction. It took three clones to construct from the kit, had a five foot barrel, and as far as Shikamaru was concerned, when it exploded it would probably scythe down a third of the arena. That was a serious pressure vessel they had there, and the fact that it got inserted into the middle of the contraption did nothing to encourage its safety.
Each Naruto was quite cheerful and helpful when asked, commenting that the boss wanted to encourage Shikamaru's curiosity. The potato gun operators were quite enthused, until one almost hit the valve on the pressure container and sent Shikamaru scurrying away. The one with the pogo stick was even more ecstatic at the thought of taking his toy apart to show the inner workings, and when he couldn't get it back together again, he shrugged it off and decided to join the mahjong players.
It was then that Shikamaru spotted the real Naruto. He, too, was watching the mahjong players, but he was showing a great deal more interest in Shikamaru than the match. His eyes were constantly darting around, and whenever they met Shikamaru's, he would look away immediately. He was also careful to keep his hands concealed whenever a new clone was needed.
Got you, thought Shikamaru, who casually walked up to the table, pausing only to let the trike pedaling Naruto pass him. He considered just trying to peg Naruto with a thrown kunai, but that would just lead to a normal battle, possibly including all these clones and their myriad death traps. "Excuse me," he said politely, "If I snatch away your observer, would that ruin your fun?"
The Narutos gathers around the board all shook their head, except for the real Naruto, who nodded vigorously and started to sweat. Shikamaru made his family hand seal and silently sent his shadow out. It lanced immediately to Naruto's shadow, and against his will, Naruto slowly stood and matched Shikamaru's pose. Shikamaru grinned as the trike's bell rang behind him, and he stepped forward slightly to get out of it's path. He reached up, miming the action of drawing a sword over his shoulder, and across from him, Naruto, who did have a sword, drew one as well.
"Give up, Naruto," said Shikamaru, raising his hand near his throat and watching Naruto raised his blade in the same pose, "I caught you."
He felt a chill go down his spine as two swords were draped almost casually around his neck from behind, and Naruto leaned in as if giving him a comradely hug. "Nahh," said Naruto quietly, "You didn't. Give up, Shikamaru, I doubt you can undo that technique fast enough to win."
Shikamaru looked around, weighing his options, then dropped his arms and released his technique. "Beaten by the dead last of my year," he grumbled, although he had no real rancor in his voice. He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I'm never going to live this down," he said before raising his head and calling out clearly, "I yield, Proctor." The clones let out a loud cheer, pumping their fists in the air, before dispelling in a cloud of smoke.
Leaving only the Naruto that Shikamaru had caught with his shadow standing. The real Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, a big grin on his face, and said, "Whew, that was close, Shikamaru. If you hadn't disturbed that clone earlier…"
"That was a clone?" Shikamaru sighed and slumped slightly. "Which clone was it that got me? I thought I took care of all the ones I dis…" His words wound down slowly as the realization stole over him. That damned tricycle rider! I interrupted him in his path and disturbed his playtime, but he never did anything!
Naruto let out a giggle. "I watched him slowly trail you for the entire match, peddling madly the entire time, waiting for a good shot. I was kinda proud of the little guy, actually."
Shikamaru shrugged and gave Naruto a small smile. "It's okay, you did me a favor anyhow. Chunin would be too troublesome for me."
Naruto took Guy's traditional Nice Guy Pose #1 with Thumb Extended. "Don't worry, Shikamaru, when I become Hokage, I'll put you to good use! You can be in charge of mission selection, that's a nice and easy job! Believe it!" He didn't notice the scowl on Shikamaru's face, nor the grin on the Hokage's face, when he said that. His mind was far too occupied celebrating his victory.
Up on the walkways, there was a lot of murmuring and laughter going on, although Choji was grumbling bitterly when the food vanished, and Asuma was groaning while Kurenai explained that, according to the rules, he was going to be off his cigarettes for four months instead of three. A stunned Kakashi, who had just watched Naruto trick a Nara in a battle of wits, reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a thin ryo coin. He tossed it to Guy, who caught it without looking at it or letting the grin leave his face.
Author's Note: Confused about the coin? It's in Chapter 15: YOOOUUUTH!
I am fairly happy with this chapter, even if it took a long time to write. I had a lot of trouble with the trash fight, for exactly that reason, and it took a few tries to get the right balance of serious and silly for Naruto's fight. Naruto will have serious fights in the future, but here and now, in the exam arc against a friendly face, it was simply not the time.
No, Naruto here has not forgotten his dream. He just doesn't shout it every five minutes under the tutelage of someone who seems to be training him well, and with a team that accepts him.
Thank god, one more chapter, and I can finally break the rails and toss them away!
Cute Kirby mentioned perspective in writing, and how it can be used to examine the emotions of the characters. I quite agree, and felt bad for not following that general intent in Garaa v Zaku, but in the end, neither one seemed all that interesting, emotionally, so I settled for a more blow-by-blow retelling. I tried, at first, making one of Team Seven do the watching and commenting for that purpose, but when I tried to write it, it came out looking as fake as Donald Trump's hair looks.
Death 276 mentioned mild disappointment about the Gaara fight. If it helps any, I agree fully, but I wanted to avoid the "sand falls, everyone dies" approach so often seen in fanfiction with the early version of him, so I did what I could. Glad to see you at least sorta enjoyed it. Hopefully you enjoy Shikamaru's fight as well, I know you're rooting for him.
Draconic Ramblings, and so many others, mentioned the bloody Ryo. Kishimoto is a writer and artist, and global economics is obviously not his thing. There are tons of materials online that deconstruct the value of Naruto ryo (my favorite is first choice if you google "Naruto Ryo Reddit," titled "Basic Economics in the Narutoverse"). Go read it, please. It is interesting, entertaining, and might actually get people to stop telling me about Ryo as if I don't know basic math, nevermind the actual value of real world ryo.
Pinoy Gamer pointed out a lot of improvement fics have Ino vs Temari. I was not aware of this, but from what I could find, they are correct. I suspect it's for the Worf Effect, allowing a previously almost useless person show their stuff. Remember, just because it's a Trope, does not mean it's bad.
lumutness mentioned the goggles/uchiha connection and how Kakashi might react before I posted it. Good job, oracle.
And as always, thanks to Heaven's Eagle for the beta work.