Final Fantasy VII

All the Things That You Never Ever Told Me

By Lucky_Ladybug

Notes: The characters are not mine and the story is! This is a little follow-up to At the End of the World to explore some of the emotional fall-out and recovery from that adventure, so it probably won't be understandable if you haven't read that story. It takes place in my Twilight and Dawn verse, where Sephiroth sends everybody to Earth and chaos results. But Sephiroth is finally healed of his insanity, so he's the good person he once was.

"Reno!"

The tortured cry startled the redhead out of his mind. He leaped up, hurrying from his room to Rude's next-door. Rude had woken himself up with his scream and was sitting up in bed, breathing heavily.

Reno sighed sadly. "Bad dream again, huh?"

Rude managed a nod. "I saw it happen again," he said, as Reno knew he would. "You protected the little girl . . . and Jenova struck you down."

Reno pushed away from the doorframe and went into the room. "I came back, though," he said. Lightly he added, "Not even death could keep me down!"

Rude sighed. "It was horrible when you were gone."

Reno sobered, seeing levity and cheer was not going to help right now. "I know," he said. "I saw you. . . . I just couldn't talk to you. I'm sorry, Rude. . . . I never wanted to hurt you."

Rude looked up, the sorrow heavy in his eyes. "I hurt you, so many times," he lamented. "I didn't remember you and I pushed you away."

"Hey, that was just at first," Reno said. "Don't forget you started letting me hang around you again later."

"But it couldn't have been the same," Rude said. "Not when I didn't remember."

Reno couldn't deny that. "But everything's okay now," he said. "I'm alive and you remember."

". . . Can you really get over it that easily?" Rude had to ask. "Wasn't it traumatizing at all to be dead?"

Reno shrugged. "Sure, it didn't feel that great. And I'm not up for repeating it any time soon. But I'd rather just move on and not dwell on it." That, and he wasn't about to add another burden to Rude when he was already struggling with the memories of the last several weeks. In actual fact, Reno was quite shaken by what had happened. But he would bottle it up for as long as he could.

From Rude's expression, he wasn't convinced. They had known each other too long for Reno to be able to fool him that way now that he remembered everything.

Seeing that, Reno quickly changed the subject. "What we really need to be thinking about is what we're gonna do for jobs now," he said. "You don't want to be a bouncer in a bar from now on, do you?"

"Not really," Rude said.

"So we need to start looking into other possibilities. I'll get the Want Ads or something and we'll start going over them. There has to be something more suited to our unique talents, right?" Reno was already heading for the doorway as he spoke.

Rude just sighed. If Reno didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to push it. But he would remain concerned.

"You'd think so," he said.

"Tseng runs a company now or something," Reno said. "Turk Enterprises! Maybe we could go work for him as security guards?"

"Maybe," Rude said. "If he has openings."

Reno paused at that. Tseng wouldn't want to fire existing employees to get Reno and Rude in there. "Okay, well. If he doesn't, there's probably some companies in town hiring," he said. "There's one called . . . Fragmented Triangle?" He blinked at the ad on his phone. "Weird."

Rude just looked deadpan about the name. "We can go talk to them tomorrow," he said.

"Great! I'll call and set up an appointment," Reno said.

It wasn't lost on Rude how Reno had completely switched their conversation topic. He sighed to himself. That was what happened every time. Reno did notwant to discuss what had happened, and Rude rather doubted it was because Reno was really as fine as he claimed.

"Alright," he said with a nod.

"You wanna try to go back to sleep or stay up for a while?" Reno asked.

In truth, Rude would rather stay up. But then Reno would stay up to keep him company and he wanted Reno to get the proper sleep.

"I'll try to sleep," he said.

"Okay then. Just come get me if you change your mind," Reno said.

"You should sleep too," Rude pointed out.

"I will," Reno said nonchalantly.

Rude wondered if he really would. Maybe Reno also had nightmares and was staying awake to ward them off.

He hoped not.

"You're distant again."

Zack started, looking to Sephiroth when he spoke. Zack was keeping vigil on his recovering friend, as usual, and on this afternoon Sephiroth seemed to be more lucid than he had been over the last several days. Still too weakened from the fight with Jenova to undo his modified Safer form, he was laying on the bed surrounded by wings.

It was awe-inspiring to see so many. It hurt Zack's heart to remember that his initial reaction to humans having wings was that it made them monsters. Cissnei had taught him that it wasn't monstrous at all, and now he understood that wings on humans was a beautiful sight, especially if they used them for good.

He started back to the present upon realizing he had drifted yet again. "Oh. Yeah. I'm just thinking about everything." He smiled. "It's still pretty hard to grasp that I'm really alive again, you know? And even more than that, that you're here . . . and sane." His voice lowered. "I didn't know if I'd ever see that again." Jenova had had her talons so deeply into Sephiroth's mind and soul that not even dying had stopped it. If anything, that had made his madness worse.

"I didn't know either," Sephiroth replied, also quietly. "I was drowning in my insanity for so long, I had long ago lost track of who I really was. I was fueled by so much anger and betrayal when I learned Genesis was right that I had been created to be the perfect monster. And Jenova played right into that and ensured that I fulfilled that destiny."

Zack exhaled, sharply. "If I could only do it all over again, Seph, I'd find a way to save you," he said. "I'd stop everything from spiraling out of control. I don't know how, but I'd do it."

Sephiroth smiled at that. "Yes. . . . I believe you would at that. You always knew how to achieve the impossible."

From their very first meeting on that tumultuous Wutaian night, there had been something special there. Zack hadn't been afraid to speak his mind even to the General, and Sephiroth, knowing Zack was hurting over Angeal's departure, had never had him disciplined for his disrespectful outbursts. Instead, Sephiroth had decided to continue Zack's training where Angeal had left off, and somehow that had blossomed into a deep and lasting friendship. Nibelheim and Jenova had raked serious wounds into it, but even they had not severed that bond. Now it was renewing stronger than ever.

Zack just shrugged awkwardly. "I never did anything that incredible," he said.

"On that I would have to disagree," Sephiroth said. "You were the true hero, Zack. Not I."

"You were a hero again the other day," Zack said. "You saved everybody!"

A slight rueful smile played on Sephiroth's lips. "I fixed a mess that I caused in the first place," he said. "If I hadn't sent us all to this planet, Jenova couldn't have possessed that sorceress's body and started trying to conquer the world."

"And you wouldn't be sane again and Aerith and I wouldn't be back," Zack pointed out. "Seph, you did all of us a big favor by sending us here!" He reached and gripped Sephiroth's hand. "Thanks to you, all of us really have another chance to get it right."

It was true, Sephiroth supposed, and yet he hadn't really thought of it in those terms. Finally he squeezed Zack's hand in turn. "Can I really get it right?" he wondered. "After so many years of madness, can I be a whole person again? Can I be kind as I was in the past?"

"Of course you can!" Zack insisted. "You already are! You're a kind businessman, not a ruthless one. You invited a lot of us to stay here at your house! I know with me you wanted me here, but it's gotta be awkward about some of the others being here, like Tifa."

Sephiroth sighed. "It is awkward, you're right," he said. "But it seemed the right thing to do when Cloud is here."

"And I know Tifa appreciates having such a nice place for the kids!" Zack said.

Sephiroth slowly nodded. ". . . I wonder what's happened to Angeal," he remarked. "And Genesis. You don't know why Angeal didn't come back with you?"

Zack shrugged helplessly. "I haven't seen him since we came to this planet," he said. "I'm sure he's here, so maybe he's alive and in some weird job or something!"

"Maybe," Sephiroth said noncommittally. He stared off into the distance. ". . . Was it right or wrong when I refused to help Genesis?" he mused.

Zack started. "Huh?!"

"When he came in Nibelheim and matter-of-factly informed me that I was created to be the perfect monster and then in the same breath expected me to help stop his deterioration." Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. "There was a time when I would have agreed wholeheartedly. When he was hurt in our pointless fight, I wanted to donate blood to him but wasn't allowed. But by the time we met at Nibelheim, so much had changed with both of us. I no longer wanted to help him. He disgusted me."

"Hey, he disgusted me too," Zack said. "After everything he did and was still doing, he had a lot of nerve to even show his face to you! And really, would it have been a good idea to give him your cells when he was such a menace to the Planet? Then he could have done even more to it!"

"But was that my reasoning or was I just filled with disgust and hurt?" Sephiroth sighed. "If it was the latter, I likely wasn't justified in refusing."

Zack admittedly hadn't thought of this issue. "I don't blame you, Seph, even if you were upset and hurt. Who wouldn't be, after everything Genesis did?"

Sephiroth gave a slow nod. "I wonder if he's here too. And if he is, will he be our enemy . . . or our ally?"

"Let's hope for the best," Zack said. "Maybe you guys can even fix your friendship!"

Sephiroth dryly laughed at that. "I doubt that. With you and I, we absolutely had a friendship. I knew it, I believed in it. But with Genesis . . . although I believed in it at the time, he made it very difficult later on. I still can't say whether there was anything there at all except jealousy and envy on his part. All the times I thought we were just having friendly competitions, he didn't see them that way. He believed he was the best and that I was standing in his way of achieving glory. He finally told me to my face that my glory should have been his."

Zack scowled. "Why would he feel like that?! I mean, he could say he felt he should have had glory too, but to figure you shouldn't have had any at all . . . !"

Sephiroth shrugged. "As I said, it's hard to believe he ever really cared about me. I was a third wheel, unneeded, unnecessary. Maybe Genesis and Angeal are even off somewhere together in this world." He laughed a bit. "That would be like them."

Zack sighed. He didn't want to believe Angeal wouldn't come around at all, but after everything that had happened, it actually washard to know what the truth was.

"They are pretty tight," he conceded. "Or they were. . . . I mean, Angeal hasn't seen Genesis in years. . . ."

"All the more reason they might go off together if Angeal has been restored on this world," Sephiroth said.

"Yeah. . . ." But Zack didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Seeing that, Sephiroth decided to drop the subject. "How's everyone else?" he wondered. "Especially those who also suffered the cruelest shocks at Jenova's hands?"

"Kadaj is doing pretty well," Zack said. "He . . . well, he'd died before, so it wasn't a whole new experience for him. The dying anyway. But having Jenova betray him and do it . . . that really dug hard into him. He's good with accepting Shera as 'Mother' now, though, so he seems happy. And Yazoo remembers everything, so Kadaj doesn't have to worry about finding a way to bring back his memories. Loz . . . he's bounced back pretty well too, I think. Shera said he's been having some nightmares about what happened and they're trying to deal with that. Aerith was gonna go over and talk with them."

"I'd be surprised if there weren't nightmares," Sephiroth remarked.

"Yeah. . . . And Reno and Rude . . . I'm not sure about them," Zack admitted. "They seem okay and everything. Reno especially just has his usual carefree attitude about it all. But . . ." He frowned. "When he died and showed up where me and Aerith and Kadaj were, I could see he was scared even though he promptly tried to hide it. I tried to talk to him and Aerith tried to comfort him, but he wasn't having any of it. He kept saying he had to go back, he had to be with Rude. He really acted worried about how Rude was going to handle it. And then he really did disappear. We saw him trying to communicate with Rude even though he just couldn't get through, and Rude was just shutting down. . . ." He shook his head. "It was awful."

Sephiroth frowned too. "I'm sure Rude having had his memories blocked until Reno was dying didn't help matters either."

"No kidding." Zack sighed. "I tried to talk to them, offered to be a listening ear if they needed it, that kinda thing. Rude thanked me and said they were fine. Reno did too."

"Then there's not much else you can do unless they say something different later," Sephiroth said.

"I know, but . . ." Zack rested his hands on his knees. "I'm pretty sure they're not fine. Reno especially, his cheer seems a lot more forced now. I know what that's like; I had to pretend to be cheery a lot sometimes when I was trying to rally Cloud."

"Hm." Sephiroth pondered. "I would still tend to advocate minding your own business, but if you're sure something is wrong, maybe you could try talking to each of them privately. They likely wouldn't admit to problems when they're together, not wanting each other to worry."

Zack perked up. "That's a great idea, Seph! Rude's still got his bouncer job, so I could talk to him when he's at work and then go talk to Reno before Rude gets home!"

Sephiroth smiled a bit. "Good luck."

Zack grinned. "I'm sure I'll get somewhere now! Thanks, Buddy!"

As Zack headed out to try the idea, Sephiroth sighed and sank into the bed. "I hope I didn't make a mistake," he muttered to the room.

Aerith had decided to walk over to see Loz and the others. It was a pleasant day despite the winter chill and she was still soaking in the amazing experience of being alive again. She wanted to fully embrace every bit of it. She walked and occasionally skipped through the snow, even reaching down to roll some into some snowballs to throw harmlessly at trees or into snowdrifts. It was curious how something so simple could feel so fun and fulfilling now.

The boys didn't live that far away; since the quiet Yazoo had somehow ended up a popular singer in this world (how on Earth?), they, Cid, and Shera had a fancy mansion about on par with Sephiroth's. Shera had sent her the address and instructions on how to use GPS on her phone. Now the home was coming into view. Aerith headed up the walk and to the porch.

Loz was the one who answered the doorbell. "Mother Aerith!" He beamed to see her, and he quickly opened the door. "Come in!"

Aerith smiled and entered, accepting the welcoming hug and returning it. "How are you, Loz?" she asked.

"Kadaj is okay and Yazoo remembers, so I'm okay too," Loz said. "We all play now!"

"Shera said you've been having some bad dreams about what happened," Aerith said.

Loz looked down, seeming embarrassed or even guilty. "Jenova hurt Kadaj," he said. "She's not Mother."

"No, she isn't," Aerith said. "And it's okay to still be upset about it, Loz. You saw something horrible."

Loz considered that. ". . . Yazoo hasn't told me not to cry," he said at last.

"That's good," Aerith said. "He understands you're upset. And maybe . . . he's upset too?"

"I don't know," Loz said. "He's with us a lot now, and he helps Father Cid in his workshop. He says he's fine."

And when something upsetting happened, "fine" was generally the least accurate word to describe how anyone was feeling. Or at least, that was how it went in Aerith's experience.

"Where is he now?" Aerith asked.

"He and Kadaj are watching TV," Loz said. "I'll show you. Come on!"

Aerith smiled and followed him through the large entryway and to the living room off to the side. Kadaj and Yazoo were sitting together on a couch, staring at a widescreen television. While Kadaj actually seemed interested in the movie that was on, Yazoo was staring blankly at the screen until a fight started. Then he perked up too.

Aerith shook her head. Well, they certainly seemed normal at the moment.

Hearing footsteps, the brothers looked up. The arrival was immediately more interesting than the ninja movie.

"Mother Aerith!" Kadaj exclaimed. He ran over and hugged Aerith too, followed swiftly by Yazoo.

Aerith hugged them both. "It's so good to see you all again!" she proclaimed. "How are you?"

"We're fine," Kadaj said, "but we've missed you!"

"Are you staying for a while?" Yazoo asked.

"I'd be happy to," Aerith said.

The boys delightedly took her on a tour of the entire mansion, with Yazoo more talkative than usual and Kadaj and Loz pointing out their favorite rooms and decor. Aerith watched and paid attention to all their discourses, happy to find them in such good spirits. But she was still concerned about the aloof Yazoo in particular, and when they had a moment to visit alone when Kadaj and Loz hurried on ahead to straighten up a certain room, she asked, "How are you really doing, Yazoo? You saw something horrible too."

Yazoo looked away. With anyone else he would probably close himself off, but with Aerith he was more willing to speak. ". . . Kadaj was hurt because he was trying to find a way to help me," he said.

"But it wasn't your fault about what happened," Aerith said. "You know that, right?"

Yazoo shrugged. "I didn't remember him and Loz. I pushed them away."

"I know," Aerith said. "But it was still Kadaj's choice to go to Jenova for help. You didn't forget them on purpose."

"It was because Sephiroth sent us here," Yazoo said.

"Do you wish you weren't here?" Aerith asked.

Yazoo paused, thinking. "No," he said at last. "Not now. We're happy here. But we weren't until I remembered and Kadaj was alright."

"Do your brothers know you feel bad?" Aerith wondered.

"I haven't told them," Yazoo said. "But I've tried to show them."

"And I know they're happy you're being with them more," Aerith said. "Maybe it would help you to talk about things with them too?"

"Maybe," Yazoo said vaguely.

Aerith nodded. She wouldn't push. Some people seemed to do better with actions than talking. As long as Yazoo wasn't putting on a front and pretending to feel ways he didn't, maybe what he was doing was the best for him.

"Are you going to keep singing?" she asked instead.

"No," Yazoo said flatly.

"Oh, I know there'll be many heartbroken fangirls about that," Aerith said, her tone light. Sobering, she added, "But you should do what makes you comfortable . . . as long as no one gets hurt." Everyone knew Yazoo was rather gun-happy in his normal frame of mind. Aerith definitely didn't want to encourage that.

"I haven't decided what I want to do yet," Yazoo said.

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out," Aerith smiled as they arrived at the room. "You've got plenty of time."

Yazoo nodded. ". . . I'm glad you came," he said.

"I'm glad I did too," Aerith said. "And you're all welcome to visit us whenever you want."

"We will," Yazoo said.

They entered the room to continue the visit. There was still one more brother to speak to one-on-one, and Aerith eventually found that chance when Kadaj wanted her to see an enclosed balcony on one of the upper levels.

"Mother Shera grows flowers here," Kadaj said. "She said it's like a greenhouse."

"It's lovely," Aerith smiled. She turned to look at the middle brother. "How are you doing, Kadaj?"

"Everything's alright now," Kadaj said. "Yazoo remembers and we have two real mothers, you and Shera."

"Yes, you do," Aerith said. "And I will always be happy to be Mother for all of you." She paused. "But you went through something horrible. Are you really okay?"

Kadaj glowered out the glass at the yard. ". . . Jenova betrayed us," he said bitterly. "She's not Mother. She pretended to be Mother. I hate her."

This was about what Aerith had expected. "She took advantage of you in a cruel and heartless way," she said. "But she's gone now."

"I'd kill her if Sephiroth hadn't," Kadaj vowed.

"Now, you know I've taught you that revenge isn't the way," Aerith chided. "And even if you were just trying to stop her so she couldn't hurt anyone anymore, I'm afraid you couldn't have stood up against her. No one there could, until Sephiroth used his most powerful form."

"I know." Kadaj sighed and folded his arms. "I'm glad she's gone. Is that wrong too, to feel that way?"

"No," Aerith had to admit. "I'm glad of that too. But not because of hating her. I'm glad because then she can't hurt anyone I love again."

"Mother . . ." Kadaj turned and hugged her.

Aerith smiled, holding him close.

Zack was also having an interesting time with his appointed task, although it was proving more difficult than Aerith's. Just as he had surmised, he found Rude at his job and arranged to talk to him when he was on break.

"So, how've you guys been doing?" he asked. "You really went through the wringer there."

"We're alright," Rude replied, keeping his voice very guarded.

"You're sure now?" Zack said. "'Cause I'd be happy to help if there's anything I can do."

Rude hesitated. ". . . You've asked before," he said at last. "Is there a reason why you think something is wrong?"

"Well . . ." Zack really hadn't planned being put on the spotlight. He wracked his mind for the best way to phrase it that hopefully wouldn't incite more worry. ". . . I met up with Reno, you know? On the . . . uh . . . the other side. That's kind of a nerve-wracking experience for anybody."

Rude started to relax. "I'm worried about him," he confessed. "Reno normally tells me when something is bothering him, but he won't say anything about what happened there. He just brushes it off and says he's back now, so why think about the past more than we have to." He shook his head. "It's not usual."

Zack sighed. "Honestly, that's about what I figured," he admitted. "It sounds like he's trying to put on a happy front for you. And maybe he really doesn't want to think about what happened because it shook him up too much."

"He will never tell me what's bothering him if he believes it will hurt me more," Rude said. "But maybe he would tell you. Will you talk to him?"

"I was planning to do exactly that," Zack assured him. "I'll get to the bottom of this if I can!"

"Thank you," Rude said in relief.

"And what about you?" Zack asked. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright," Rude insisted. "I'm just worried about Reno."

Zack was pretty sure Rude would continue to insist such and encourage Zack to focus on Reno, so he finally smiled and nodded. "Okay then. I'll go talk to Reno now." He started to get up from the table.

If anything was wrong with Rude, maybe Reno would tell him.

As Zack had really expected, when Reno opened the door at his and Rude's house, he grinned and put on airs again.

"Hey! Zack my man, it's great to have you back among the living! Why don't you come in for a drink? Or better yet, we'll go to the Purple Penguin and visit with Rude at the same time?"

"That sounds great," Zack said honestly. "But I just came from there. Rude's worried about you, Reno."

"Worried about me? Why?" Reno said airily. "I'm alive, I'm fine!"

"You had a real rough experience, though," Zack said.

"It's over," Reno insisted. He half-turned away, his red bangs flopping into his eyes. "There's no need to talk about it when it's over."

Zack stood with hands on hips, frowning in concerned exasperation. "Hey, I get that you don't want to worry Rude. That's great and all, but don't you get that he's worried anyway?! Man, you died."

"Everyone dies," Reno replied. "If this is all you came to talk about, forget about it." He turned back. "Rude is the one you should worry about, not me. Rude's still having nightmares every night. I don't know how to make it stop."

"You probably can't," Zack said. "It's probably something only time can heal." He hesitated. "Or maybe . . . if you'd just open up to Rude about what's bugging you, he can finally be at peace too. As long as this keeps dragging on, you guys can't heal."

"There's nothing bugging me except figuring out how to help Rude," Reno insisted.

Zack could feel his patience starting to bend. "It's okay to show you're upset about it!" he exclaimed. "I saw you when you showed up there. I know you were shook!"

Reno's eyes flashed. "I'm not supposed to be 'shook'!" he finally snapped. "I'm supposed to always be the one who keeps it together!"

"Well, you just can't all the time!" Zack retorted. "Something's gotta give sooner or later! Just talk about it before it gets really bad! If you don't want to talk to Rude because of how bad he already feels, talk to somebody else! Talk to me, even!" He sighed. "I sure know what it's like to be dead."

Reno looked away, folding his arms. "It's over now," he muttered. "Everything's fixed. I'm alive again, so what happened shouldn't bother me. Especially when it was my choice to sacrifice myself for Marlene."

"It's fixed, but that doesn't change that it happened," Zack pointed out. "The one thing that can't get fixed so easy is the emotional fall-out. Rude's still struggling with that . . . and so are you."

Reno's shoulders slumped in resignation. He really knew Zack was right.

". . . I wouldn't even know where to start," he said at last. "Talking about it, I mean."

"Just anything you need to say," Zack said. "What you're feeling, why . . . it's all valid."

Reno looked away, glaring at the wall as he gripped his arms. ". . . I didn't want to do what I did," he confessed. "I knew I'd get it. And I've never believed in sacrificing yourself on the job. It's inefficient and you can only do it once. But . . . there wasn't any other way to save Marlene. Not that I could see anyway. So . . . I jumped in.

"Dying was . . . I don't know what it was. Freaky. Painful. Then Rude finally remembered me and I . . . just kind of slipped away in peace. Didn't have time to think about how that was going to absolutely crush him.

"I got sent to that place where you and Aerith and Kadaj were. I didn't know what to make of that. Oh, I knew I was dead. That was about all I knew. I felt fine, physically . . . but I didn't want to be there. I wanted to go back. I had to go back. And then somehow I wasback, just not in my body, and I was watching Rude just completely shut down."

Without warning he slammed the end of his electric rod into the wall in a burst of anger and frustration. Zack just kept watching, listening, not surprised.

". . . I did that to him," Reno finally said. "I never wanted to do anything to hurt him, but I had to jump in there to sacrifice myself and that just . . ." He clenched his teeth. "I don't think he would have come back from that, especially when he also had to feel so guilty for forgetting me. So I saved Marlene . . . but I doomed Rude. And I hate myself for that. I hate that there wasn't some other choice." He leaned forward against the wall on an arm.

Zack went over to him. "I get it," he said quietly. "I get it so much. It was the same kind of situation with me and Cloud, you know? I had no choice but to fight off all those Shinra troops to keep them away from us, but I . . . just couldn't hold out. I saved Cloud physically, but emotionally and mentally he was shot up as bad as me. When I died, Cloud just completely broke. The whole Nibelheim mess, four years in Hojo's lab, one on the run while being so sick and out of it . . . and then the first thing he really registers clearly in ages is that I'm dying, shot to death protecting him." He clenched a fist. "I couldn't just leave him like that. So I stayed with him, trying to encourage him, trying to help him remember when he blocked it all out because it was too horrible to think about. I hated that me dying had done that to him. But . . . there really hadn't been another way. I had to do what I did . . . just like you had to do what you did. And there's never gonna be a perfect answer on why it had to be that way so our loved ones had to suffer so much because of that. If it takes you time to deal with your feelings, or if you never get over them completely, that's just normal. But don't bottle it up. Talk about it."

Reno was silent, just taking in everything he was being told. Finally he looked over at Zack. "How did you deal with it?" he asked. "Did you have somebody to talk to?"

"Oh yeah. Usually Angeal. Then . . . well, Aerith came and we talked a lot too."

Finally Reno gave a heavy sigh. "I guess . . . maybe I should talk to Rude, come clean about everything. If he's worried, nothing less will be enough for him. I thought making like everything was fine would be the best way to help him, but it wasn't."

Zack nodded. "You didn't fool him. And it only worried him more."

"Tch. Well, that's typical. We know each other too well." Reno looked resigned now. "When Rude comes home, I'll talk to him."

"I'll hold you to that," Zack said. "Don't chicken out now."

"I won't," Reno said with a wave of his hand. "And Zack? . . . Thanks."

Zack smiled. "I'm always happy to be of service!"

Cloud was staring out the front window when Zack arrived home. He perked up, going to meet his dear friend at the door. "How'd it go?" he asked. "Sephiroth told me where you went."

"It went good!" Zack said. "I think they're gonna be okay now, if Reno really follows through. How're things here?"

"Fine," Cloud said. "Marlene's bonding with Aerith and Sephiroth went back to sleep."

"Good deal," Zack said. He hesitated. "Did you say anything more to him?"

Cloud tensed a bit. "Like what?"

"Like that you guys are friends now," Zack said.

Cloud went completely red. "We're not. Just because I was worried about him and I'll keep working with him doesn't mean that."

Zack sighed. Well, it was too much to hope for too soon, he supposed. "It doesn't mean you're not, either!" he countered.

"Why do you want that so much?" Cloud asked.

"Why wouldn't I want it?" Zack said. "You guys are my best friends! And don't forget, I was watching you two all the time we've been on this planet!" He shook his finger at Cloud. "You guys started getting really close."

"That was when we didn't remember," Cloud said. "Now we do, so anything like that's impossible. I could never be friends with him, and I don't think he'd want that either."

Zack frowned. "You admitted he's not the same guy who caused so much hurt," he pointed out. "Why couldn't you be friends with him?"

Cloud shook his head. "It's complicated. Look, can we stop talking about this?"

Zack sighed. "You win some, you lose some. Sure, Pal. We can stop . . . for now." But he intended to ask Seph the same questions later.

Cloud brushed past him. "Good. Let's go find Denzel. He wanted to take you on a tour or something."

"Sounds fun," Zack said as he followed. "Let me just check on Seph a minute."

He went upstairs and softly opened the door to Sephiroth's room. He was laying on his side, fast asleep, and something was different. He had gotten the strength to undo the Safer form. Several stray feathers still lay on the bed and the floor, but the wings were not visible now.

Zack smiled. While he had come to appreciate wings, this sight was a very good sign. Seph was getting better. Zack shut the door again and went to find Cloud and Denzel.

Outside on the roof of the mansion, a lone figure stood, silhouetted under the moonlight.

"'There is no hate, only joy,'" he mused with a sweeping gesture. "'Hero of the dawn, healer of worlds.'"

Unfurling a long black wing, he flew off into the night.