To Hailey's – and maybe Jay's – relief, she was hit with a migraine two days after the dinner cruise. It hit her like a bus the morning of Jay's deadline for taking her to the hospital. She didn't know what was worse: the potential poking and prodding she would have gotten at Med or the pounding in her head and nausea that returned to swirling in her stomach the second she woke up.

"Now I get to take care of you," Jay said while settling on the bed next to her after he'd worked all day, "You more than earned it over this last year."

Hailey groaned and rolled onto her side to press her face into his hip. "What about when I was stabbed?"

"That was just one thing, and it really wasn't huge," he replied, rubbing his hand over her back.

"That's not exactly how I remember you storming into the hospital room demanding I get knocked out for the stitches," Hailey mumbled.

Chuckling, Jay let out a breath. "Maybe that happened. What do you need right now?"

Hailey shook her head. He had already gotten her medication, oatmeal for breakfast when the thought of chewing anything made her wince in anticipated pain, and a pop for the caffeine. He had insisted on taking the day off, too, but she knew all she was going to do during the day was attempt to sleep, so there was no point in having him sit there and stare at her when he could be teaching his class. She loved her husband, but she didn't need a babysitter, and, right now, that's what he was trying to be.

"I can get you some soup for dinner or maybe help you into the shower," he continued, "Or do you need more medicine? Caffeine again?"

Hailey sighed. Each word he spoke sent a pang of pain through her skull. "Jay."

"Yeah?" he asked as he sat up more.

"Just stop," she groaned, "Please stop. I'm feeling better, but I'm really not a hundred percent, so please just shut up."

Jay stopped his hand on her back, his whole body stiffening against her, and he didn't say a thing.

Hailey didn't even regret what she'd said. She just needed peace and quiet like she'd gotten for the last seven hours without him by her side.

There was no regret even when he got off the bed without a word. He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead then walked out of the room.

To Hailey's surprise, tears came to her eyes when she heard the softest sound of him sitting on the couch in the living room. She didn't regret what she'd said, and she didn't think she should, but suddenly she felt like crying. A rush of emotions flooded her system, and she needed to roll further into the pillow in an attempt to stop the tears from coming.

The migraine put her on edge, but yelling at Jay felt like a new low. There had been several times throughout their entire relationship where he'd annoyed her at some point when her head hurt. He could chew too loud or yawn obnoxiously or even sneeze, but she never yelled. She actually wasn't sure she'd even cried before because of a migraine.

Everything hurt.

Her head. Her lungs. Her stomach. Her eyes. Her face.

Her heart.

She felt like she weighed a million pounds, and she really didn't want to climb out from beneath the covers, but her emotions were everywhere, and she needed Jay.

He looked up when she stepped in the living room, and she took a deep breath. "I…"

"Hailey-"

She shook her head and crawled on top of him on the couch. Burying her face in his neck, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"No, no," he breathed as he rubbed a hand over her back, "Hey, I get it. I was being annoying."

His arms wrapped around her tightly, and she relaxed in his grip. She was completely silent all day, sleeping on and off between icing the back of her neck and sipping at a pop, not even able to listen to a hint of music or stand the light of the TV. She'd gotten used to the peace, but this was a different version of peace that she was craving in her heart.

Having Jay against her in the calmness of their living room brought a better version of peace to her than anything she'd done all day.

"It hurts, and-and I don't know what to do," she whimpered, "I don't want to think."

"Okay, then you don't have to," Jay replied, "Let me do your thinking for you, and I swear I'll do it silently."

Hailey couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh. "Okay."

Jay hummed in reply and continued rubbing slow circles over her back. Occasionally, his fingers slipped into the back of her hair, and he brushed them gently along her neck, easing the stress of the headache from her mind.

Hailey came to when the bedroom was dark and the moonlight was barely peeking in through the window up above. To her relief, she was able to lift her head without an ache radiating down her neck. She didn't know how long she was asleep for, but she felt so much better than she had when she'd climbed onto Jay's lap in the living room.

He was asleep next to her or, rather, he was asleep above her. He was sitting up against the headboard of their bed, his hand fallen from her head where it must have been resting on his thigh. Months before, there were several nights where they'd fallen asleep in positions like this, but then, he'd always been the one on her. She'd loved feeling him so close again after nearly six months of craving the feeling of his heartbeat against hers. When he slept with his head in his lap, he was safe and at peace, and that was probably why he'd gotten her to do the same: he wanted to protect her from whatever was tearing her emotions apart.

She didn't know where it all came from. She'd been doing so good since getting sick on the boat. A part of her had actually just assumed that she'd gotten sea sick from the rocking of the waves. And then waking up to a killer migraine and more emotions than she felt she could handle was completely new. She was used to getting bad headaches and some of those did transition into migraines throughout her life, but never paired with the crying and the short temper. She felt bad that she ended up taking it all out on Jay.

Sitting up further, she brushed the backs of her fingers to Jay's cheek and whispered, "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

His eyes fluttered open, and she was shocked into sitting back quickly against her pillows.

"Hey," he chuckled, "You're up."

"So are you," she said, "I didn't think I'd wake you; I'm sorry."

"I wasn't really sleeping," he said. Clearing his throat, he rubbed a hand over his face and asked, "How're you feeling?"

"Good, I think," she admitted honestly, "My brain feels less swollen."

Jay laughed softly again and nodded. "Good." He placed a hand on the side of her face to rub his thumb under her eye then murmured, "I was really worried about you. You were pretty out of it."

"I'm really sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's really fine. You were in pain, and I wouldn't stop talking. I deserved to be told to shut up."

Hailey blushed as she smiled and looked down at the blankets between them.

"I…can I say something?"

Hailey looked up with wide eyes and nodded. "Of course."

Jay breathed in slowly. "You can tell me the truth without worrying about hurting my feelings, I swear."

Hailey tilted her head to the side and said, "What are you getting at?"

"Has this happened before?" Jay asked, "Specifically, has this happened while I was gone or-or maybe while I was at Walter Reed? I just don't remember you ever having a migraine that bad before." His fingers continued gently brushing through her hair and along her skin, and she knew he was trying to keep them both calm in the moment. He was worried that he'd missed a migraine like this in the past, and she was worried that saying anything about the time he was gone was going to upset him even more. She could see the fears in his eyes over what exactly he had missed.

If she wanted to ease those fears, then she was going to have to be honest, but honesty was perhaps going to scare her even more: she had no idea where this migraine to this extent had come from or why.

"Never like this," she admitted, "I think I had one or two migraines while you were gone, but they also just could have been really bad headaches. I only missed work once because of them. Smells didn't bother me as much then, at least, I don't think they did. It's kind of hard to remember."

Jay nodded and slid his hand to the side of her neck. "Were you nauseous then?"

"I felt so sick, yes," Hailey said, "I do remember that. So that, the other day, that didn't seem too weird to me. I'm not worried about that."

Jay raised an eyebrow and said, "Really?"

She bit her lip because he always knew when she was lying. "Well, maybe a little bit, but I really don't want to go to the hospital for this."

Jay sighed and tilted his head back against the wall. "Hailey-"

"I know, I know," she interrupted quickly, "But, Jay, it's a migraine! People get them all the time. Yes, I'm worried, but that's just because there is so much going on right now. Torres is coming back soon, and you've got the academy going on, and I want to do right by everyone. It's never fun being sick, and migraines count as being sick. I'm counting it."

A smile flickered across Jay's face, and he nodded. "I know they do, but you were in a lot of pain, Hail. It's okay to visit the doctor every once in a while."

Hailey clocked the irony in his statement and raised an eyebrow.

"I know," he chuckled, "I know what I said, but I'm really worried about you. If this really is nothing, then awesome, but I'm not going to stop worrying until I know you're okay."

"And what if I have a brain tumor or something?" Hailey countered, "What's going to happen to us then?"

"We figure it out," Jay breathed, "Just like we've been doing for months – years now. Hailey, please just go to the doctor, for me. I want to know that it's not a brain tumor. Maybe this is just a bug or a migraine, and that's great, but until I know that that's exactly what this is, I'm going to be having a hard time going forward."

Pursing her lips, Hailey knew he was dead serious. She could tell him not to worry all she wanted, and he wouldn't be able to do it. Not that she blamed him. She would be feeling the exact same way. She loved him too much to let a nauseating, exhausting migraine just go to the side like nothing happened. Actually, she knew she'd be freaking out if he was the one going through this right now.

"Fine," she mumbled, "I'll see when I can get in. But I'm going to see my actual doctor, not your brother."

Jay put his hands up quickly and nodded. "That is totally fine. You don't need to see Will at all. Just go get taken care of, please."

She did not want to. It'd take time and require poking and prodding and answering questions that felt on the verge of invasive.

But she'd do it for Jay.

Probably.

"Come on," she said softly, "I can probably sleep a bit longer, and you should lay down. You're going to get a kink in your neck."

"Yeah, that'd be no fun," Jay sighed as he pushed at the blankets until he could get comfortable next to her. Wrapping his arms around her, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and mumbled, "I love you more than you know."

Guilt flooded her system again at yelling at him and pushing him away, so Hailey closed her eyes and pressed her face into his chest.

"I love you too."

Dante took on his first CI, and Hailey suddenly felt like she had no free time to even visit the doctor.

Jay asked her throughout the next week when she planned on calling and making an appointment, but then she'd remind him of everything that was going on within the unit, and he'd understand. Dante needed help upon his return to work after his sabbatical to take care of his mom; she was too busy to take time off. As it was, she was coming home late each night – almost after Jay had started eating dinner each time – and had barely made her therapy appointment. Some things were getting priority over her one migraine.

The migraine had gone away anyways. When she'd officially woken up the next day, her head felt so much better; it was like she was a new person. She'd been excited to go back to work and catch up on everything she'd missed.

What didn't go away was her sudden hatred of chicken. She couldn't stand the smell or even the thought of it. The one night where she came home late and ate while Jay was in the shower, she was grateful he wasn't there to see her dry heaving over the sink all because he'd left out grilled chicken for her to eat. She stuck to the rice and broccoli instead and then ate a large breakfast the next morning to deal with the rumbling in her stomach.

Even two weeks after the boat date and the first incident surrounding the chicken, Hailey still wanted to throw up at Adam's mention of getting wings for lunch in the bullpen.

"Okay, sweet barbecue for Kim, medium for Kev, Torres…what'd you say again?" he announced as he put the order into his phone.

Dante didn't even look up from his computer when he replied, "Honey sriracha."

"I might try one or two of those," Adam mumbled as he updated the order.

Hailey closed her eyes and put her back to him. She wanted no part in this lunch order. She didn't even want to be in the building when it was delivered.

"All right, and what's the Mrs. want?" Adam finally said, "I'm doing the garlic parm and hoping everyone else will share too."

"That's actually pretty damn rude," Kevin laughed.

As Kim and Dante joined him in their teasing, she realized that there was a way she could get out of the building and maybe even get Jay off her back about the doctor too.

Hailey waved her hand over her shoulder in reply and said, "I'm good, really. I actually have an appointment that I have to go to over lunch."

Everyone quieted down, and Kim asked, "Everything okay?"

Hailey turned and nodded her head. "Yeah, I just had a bad migraine the other day, and Jay told me I should probably see a doctor. I'm hoping it'll be an in and out kind of thing."

Adam shook his head and said, "I'm sorry. That sucks. Do you want me to order you anything that you can just heat up when you get back? Boneless are good for that."

"No, no, I'm good," Hailey assured, "I'll just pick something up while I'm out. Thank you, though."

"Yeah, if you're sure," Adam replied.

She glanced at the time on her computer and stood up. "I'm actually gonna head out now, but if any of you need anything-"

"Go take care of you," Kevin interrupted, "We're gonna be good here."

Hailey smiled slightly and grabbed her coat before heading out of the bullpen and down to her car. Luckily for her, Trudy was distracted as she passed the desk, and she felt like she could actually breathe upon getting in the parking lot.

In her gut, she knew this would be the perfect time for her to run to Med and see if she could get a drop-in appointment with her doctor, but it still was not something she had any interest in doing. The migraine had gone away and was replaced with a hatred of chicken. That was nothing. People craved or had an aversion to all sorts of food. She wasn't anything special or unique.

Urgent Care could be the better option right now. She'd see a doctor, maybe get a prescription for migraine medicine, and be on her way. Half an hour tops.

But then she drove past a pharmacy and remembered that there were doctors there too. She wouldn't have to get weighed or answer too many questions and definitely wouldn't have to give blood if she stopped inside to see who was working behind the counter.

The corner pharmacy was the best option in her book.

It certainly ended up being the cheapest too. She didn't even need to pull out her insurance at the check-out. Instead, she swiped her credit card to pay for the bottles of medicine and vitamins the pharmacist recommended she get to help prevent and then treat her future migraines. She even got to buy herself a chocolate bar to hold herself over until she bought a sandwich on the way back to the district. It was a solid ten minutes of her time.

Knowing that the chicken wings would probably just be getting to the bullpen when she got there, she stopped for her sandwich and decided to find a spot outside to enjoy it. There was no point in trying to eat it inside where she was going to feel nauseous and sick.

At the riverfront, the breeze coming off the water was chilled and made its way deep in her bones, so she didn't last long on a bench. Instead, she opened up the trunk of her car in the parking lot and sat in there, looking out at the water as she ate.

She used to do the same thing when she was in college and then again when she lived alone: she'd find some spot with a decent outside view to enjoy her food. She hadn't had a TV in college, and staring at her wall while eating seemed too depressing, so people watching was the way to go. Maybe it helped with her observational skills in the long-run.

Now, there was a lady pushing a baby stroller, a couple walking a few dogs together, and an athletic trainer running alongside an older man. It wasn't nearly as busy as some of the other times she'd come here, but it still felt alive.

And calm.

Being along the river always calmed her from whatever was eating at her. Whether it be a paper that was stressing her out or the academy entrance exam or even a case she was working at, being outside with a small meal and the wind in her hair would make her feel better.

Now, the thought of the chicken flew from her mind with whatever worries Jay was placing on her about the migraines. All that mattered was trying to figure out what kinds of dogs that couple was walking and why. Two of the dogs looked like they could be some sort of poodle mix, and the third was the biggest great dane she'd ever seen in her life. Maybe all three of the dogs belonged to the couple or maybe they were just doing the dog walking to earn some extra cash on the side.

It made her wonder if she'd see them here every day.

That night, Hailey somehow beat Jay home for dinner, so she changed into sweatpants and an old long sleeve shirt before putting together a quick lasagna. After all the incidents with the chicken, she'd been trying to find something else for them to eat at night that wouldn't make her get sick. Trudy was more than happy to share her recipes as long as she swore she wouldn't share them with anyone else and even offered to cook up a few of the dishes for her, if she didn't have the time. Hailey assured her that wasn't necessary and just went to the grocery store after work to get everything she'd need to stock their fridge and freezer for meals that she could actually eat.

She'd just placed the pan in the oven when the front door opened and Jay stepped in the apartment. He smiled upon seeing her and said, "Hey! You're home early."

"Not really," she replied, reaching over to nudge the pill bottles she'd gotten earlier at the pharmacy. She wanted Jay to know that she'd finally listened to him and talked to a professional about her migraine – he just didn't need to know who that professional was or where she met him.

"Maybe you're late," she continued as she stepped around the island, "Did you ever think about that?"

Jay chuckled and walked over to her once he kicked his shoes off. Grabbing her waist, he said, "I kind of am late. I'm sorry. I was talking to one of the kids after class. He's going through some stuff and asked for advice."

Hailey raised an eyebrow. "Everything okay?"

"No, but…" Jay sighed and brushed his hand over her hair. "Life just kind of sucks sometimes, and it sucks even more when I can't do anything to help."

Hailey nodded and set a hand on his chest. "Well, if you need anything…"

"I know, I know, thank you," he whispered before leaning down to kiss her. As his lips left hers, he straightened up and asked, "Do anything today?"

"Actually, yes."

Hailey grabbed her pill bottles and waited for him to sit on a bar stool before passing them both over to him.

Jay raised an eyebrow, but still looked down at what was in his hands.

"I went to a doctor," Hailey explained, "He told me that the Excedrin would be good for when I actually get a migraine, but that the other one – the vitamin – will be good to take everyday to help prevent them."

Jay nodded slightly and turned the bottles around in his hands to read over the labels. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment then nodded again before turning to place the bottles on the island. "Did you ask about why it could have come on? Is chicken really some sort of trigger for them?"

Hailey shrugged. "The chicken could have just been a one time thing. He said they can randomly come on or with stress or weather changes or hormones. Really anything."

"That sucks," Jay murmured. He reached over to brush his hand against her side again and added, "Well, I'm sorry there weren't better answers, but I'm glad you at least got some stuff to help."

She nodded and stepped between his legs. "And they're common enough that I'm not the only person in the world who gets them. I'll just monitor what's going on, and if I'm ever that sick again, I can go back to talk about it."

It was a complete lie, or – at least – it wasn't something the pharmacist actually told her. All she'd done was ask for some advice with migraine medicine, and he'd pointed out the two bottles she ended up buying. He didn't question anything about why she was there or when her last migraine was or even if she'd done previous testing with a doctor. She was just spouting off what she'd heard any time she went to a doctor ever: monitor whatever ailment you're going through, and if it gets worse, come back. She was positive that a neuro doctor would say the exact same thing regarding her migraines – at least, it's some of what the internet said.

And she wasn't fibbing to hurt Jay; she was doing it to protect him. He'd been much too worried about her and how she'd been "over-working" herself right after being so sick that she needed to ease some of those worries. Lying to Jay and covering the truth of what had happened was just going to protect him from himself, so it happened easily. She could lie to him to save him without blinking an eye – even if that realization was rather scary.

She'd done it before under much worse circumstances, but that had blown up in her face. Hiding a murder and literally covering a body was not the kind of secret to have with her husband. Telling him she'd seen a real doctor when the guy had just been a pharmacist wasn't hurting anyone. If, somehow, Jay ever found out that she wasn't telling the truth to him right now, he'd probably be upset and disappointed, but he would never question how she felt about him or her morals like he had before. This was going to be fine.

"Okay, that's not bad," Jay said quietly, "I can live with that. And you didn't need a CT or anything?"

"Course not, no," Hailey assured. She squeezed his hand and added, "I promise you, I'm okay right now."

Jay nodded and tugged her closer to kiss her forehead. "Be safe, please."

That tugged on her heartstrings, and she winced at his words, but she still nodded and whispered, "Always."

Sitting back, Jay smiled and said, "I'm gonna change then, and maybe dinner will be ready by then? You can catch me up on the rest of your day. I want to know how Torres is doing."

"Yeah, of course."

Hailey watched him walk away then sighed and leaned against the island. Even if the lying was in Jay's best interest, she had a strange feeling that was what was going to bring on her next migraine.

For the next week, to deal with the stress of having lied to Jay, Hailey took a long lunch break and went out to the water. She stopped for a sandwich at the nearby deli, drove to the parking lot at the riverfront where she once parked before going for runs, and sat in her trunk to watch the world go by.

She didn't tell the others what she was doing. Selfishly, she didn't want anyone to join her. For one hour a day, she could have peace and quiet. There wasn't any person to worry about, no one to tell her to keep her own health in check, and not a single phone call or ding of an incoming email.

Jay didn't even know she was coming here every day. This time alone was for her to let go of everything she was worried about regarding him and the migraines and to forget the lies she'd spun. At night, when he asked her about what she did during the day, she focused on work and the current case and how Dante was doing; he didn't need to know about what she did between noon to one everyday.

What scared her, though, was how she had no interest in even telling Robin. She went to therapy and did mention the migraine, but she didn't bring up the lying to Jay aspect of it. There was the truth that she talked to a pharmacist instead of a doctor, but she didn't mention that Jay wasn't aware of that part of it. Robin appreciated her honesty and asked that she do keep track of any headaches in the future to not only bring to a doctor, but also to mention to her. They could work together to sort through it all.

Hailey liked that plan and brought it up to Jay. In turn, he also appreciated that she had someone else in her corner to help her through whatever was going on in her head. She was still hesitant to eat chicken and couldn't bear the thought of even remembering what it smelled like on the boat, and she struggled to hide all of that from him. It was pretty obvious she was unsuccessful when she needed to take several deep breaths just to eat a grilled chicken taco.

"Maybe it's some sort of PTSD from throwing up," he had suggested when she finally finished her singular taco for dinner one night, "Have you talked to Robin about that part of it yet? I've heard that there are people who have fears of food, maybe-"

"Jay, I'm not scared of chicken," she'd sighed, "It's just not really agreeing with me lately, but yes, I can talk to Robin about it."

She did, and Robin didn't have much of an answer for her, so the conversation lasted approximately three minutes. Perfect amount of time in Hailey's eyes.

Four days after that appointment, Hailey leaned back against the side of her trunk and crossed her legs to get comfortable. She'd only gotten half a sandwich for lunch, but she'd replaced the other half with a bag of chips she was craving all morning. While slowly working her way through the bag, she looked out at the water and the people making their way alongside it.

The couple with the dogs came at the same time they always did. Today, the darker colored goldendoodle stopped near a bench to go to the bathroom, and Hailey wondered if she and Jay would eventually get a male or a female dog. There had to have been pros and cons to either of them.

Then there were a handful of women walking strollers. They were all bundled up against the crisp November air, and Hailey was sure their babies and toddlers looked the same. She admired the women for having some sort of hobby and getting out of the house every other day. Not many people were as consistent as they were.

The athletic trainer was actually one of the most consistent people that came to this section of the river. He always had a different client with him, but they always did similar exercises. There were lunges and jumping jacks and, sometimes, burpees; it all depended on who he was working with for the day. Right now, he had someone new with him, another guy, and they were slowing down to do the usual stretches at the bench.

Watching them, Hailey wondered how Jay would take to working with a personal trainer. He'd had his physical therapist for so long that he'd probably gotten used to someone telling him what he needed to do during a workout, but this would be someone with his entire wellbeing in mind – not just the left side of his body. He had gotten close to his PT, so maybe a personal trainer would be good for him. She didn't even know what his current goal in the gym was, though, so a personal trainer might not even be worth it. The last they'd talked about him going to the gym, he'd said he was working on his weights while squatting, but she didn't know enough about weight lifting to know if having a professional there would make much of a difference.

As the personal trainer demonstrated how to do a burpee out by the water, Hailey finished her bag of chips and pulled out her phone. It'd been so long since she'd gone to a cycling class that maybe she needed to get back into it with a trainer of her own. She'd been going on a stationary bike as part of a cool down when she'd visit the gym, but there was a part of her that craved going to classes again, especially after she'd talked about them with Jay on the boat. Going alone felt like it could be awkward, but there was always the possibility that Kim would want to go with her.

Before she could choose which class to sign up for, her phone buzzed in her hand with a text from Theo, bringing a smile to her face.

~ What're your thoughts on Thanksgiving together this year? Katie's family is kind of a lot to handle and we're looking for a new tradition. ~ Theo Upton

~ So I'm your entertainment for the holiday? ~ Hailey Halstead

~ You're my sister and I'd like you to meet my girlfriend. I'll bring a side ~ Theo Upton

~ I'll check with Jay, but I'm sure it's all good. I'm excited to meet her and see you. I'll be in touch ~ Hailey Halstead

~ Yup. Talk soon ~ Theo Upton

Thanksgiving with Theo and his girlfriend could be good for them. Last year, she'd spent the holiday with Kim, Adam, and Makayla. Even though she was with people she loved, she still craved Jay. Before they were even dating, they'd spent the holiday together. It was never anything elaborate, just them, some whiskey, and a small turkey with a few sides. Will usually joined them. They didn't have anywhere else to go, so why not celebrate together?

Sitting in Adam's childhood kitchen with more food than was necessary for four people hadn't been comforting. She smiled and laughed with them, but her heart still ached. No matter how good Kim's apple pie was, it couldn't hold a candle to the one Jay had made the year before. Her husband had been in Bolivia, and she was in Chicago, and nothing seemed like it could fix the pain she was in.

This year, she wouldn't be in that same pain. She'd grown past Bolivia and the aching that occurred because of it. Maybe she was going through something right now with the rush of emotions that were constantly changing and the migraine and the aversion to chicken, but it was nothing compared to what had happened the year before. This was something that a Thanksgiving meal with her brother could fix.

A chill ran through her, so she checked the time on her phone to see it was about time to leave anyway; she'd told Trudy she would be back within the hour.

Hailey climbed out of the trunk and cleaned up her trash from lunch. She yawned and stretched before getting in the driver's seat and continuing on with her day.

When she got home that night, Jay was sitting at the island already eating a piece of pizza for dinner. She raised an eyebrow and said, "Hey."

He glanced over at her and nodded. "Hey. Picked up pizza for dinner. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course, but…"

Hailey hung up her jacket and slowly made her way over to the kitchen. Jay was already in a pair of joggers and a sweatshirt, and she knew he had to have been there for a while. Something seemed off in his eyes, like he couldn't quite smile or even have the energy to do so.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Jay took a long sip of water then turned to face her. "Where have you been going?"

Hailey stepped back and countered, "What are you talking about?"

"I went to the district today, and you weren't there," Jay explained, "So where were you? And where have you been going? Trudy said you've been taking lunch breaks now while everyone eats up in the bullpen. She said it's been going on for weeks."

Taking a deep breath, Hailey asked, "Why'd you go to the district?"

"I asked first," Jay stated, "Where were you?"

Looking at him, Hailey could tell he was upset she'd been keeping something from him. Going out to lunch was nothing to worry about, but after everything they'd gone through in the last year of their life, maybe he had reason to worry.

Or maybe he didn't trust her and thought she was keeping secrets from him, just like he'd done to her the summer before.

The thought that he didn't trust her, right now, felt like a slap in the face. She'd hidden much worse from Jay – she was hiding something worse from him – there was no reason for him to be so standoffish at this moment.

"I was taking a lunch break," she snapped, perhaps a little too harshly, "I just want to get out of the district during the day, is that really such a crime?"

"No, but I don't get why you haven't been telling me," Jay replied, sitting up further in his seat.

"Because I don't need to tell you every movement that I make. It's a lunch break, Jay, I'm not hiding a body anymore."

Jay scoffed and shook his head. "That's low." He gathered his plate and glass of water to walk around the island and rinse it all off.

"That's what you're thinking, right?" Hailey asked, "You're thinking that I've done something bad at work, so I'm hiding it from you again? Maybe getting even with you?"

The anger was starting to well up inside her, and she was almost scared of herself as she tried figuring out where it was even coming from.

Jay looked up, shocked, and said, "What is going on right now? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Hailey stated quickly, "I'm fine. And I've been fine. I started going out when everyone was getting wings for lunch a while back, and I forgot that I actually enjoy sitting by the water. Okay?"

Jay stared at her, and she felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. Her emotions felt everywhere, and yet all she wanted to do was eat the pizza that was staring at her on the island. She was hungry and angry and maybe a little bit upset that this was where her night was going.

"You've been off lately, Hailey," Jay said slowly, "Do you agree?"

She sniffled and looked away from him. "I don't know."

She did agree. Something was off, and she didn't know why. Migraines usually did mess with her emotions, but this was more than that and probably more than whatever those vitamins could help with.

"It's lunch," Jay continued, "It's really not a big deal, but…but I don't get why you were keeping it from me. I'm worried about you, and-"

"And you don't have to be," Hailey interrupted, "I've told you that. You really-"

"Stop. I'm always going to worry about you."

A tear slipped down Hailey's cheek, and she nodded as she wiped it away. She knew that Jay would always worry about her - that kind of came with the ring on her finger. There was nothing she could say or do that would make him stop.

"What do you need?" Jay asked gently, "I-I don't know how to help you. I know you want to deal with…whatever this is on your own, but I can't let you do that."

"I don't know," she breathed, "I really…I don't know. I've just been wanting the time alone, so I went to get lunch and sit by the water the past few days." She caught Jay's eye and looked away. "Maybe more than a few days. But…" More tears started to flood her eyes, so she angrily wiped at them again. "It's frustrating."

"Yeah, it really is."

Hailey closed her eyes at Jay's nearly silent words. It was frustrating for everyone involved, and she had no idea what to do. She never seemed to know exactly what to do when her emotions were involved. Sometimes she didn't tell Jay enough of what was going on, and sometimes she felt like she couldn't stop telling him whatever crossed her mind. She wasn't sure where this was starting to fall because she truly didn't know what was going on.

"Let's just eat dinner. Come on."

Jay reached over to brush his hand against hers, and she looked at him with a sigh. She could snap at him and lose her temper and cry and admit to not understanding any of her own emotions, and he would still love her.

Always.

Despite everything they'd ever been through and no matter what she said to him, at the end of the day, Jay was there for her. It almost felt unfair.

Then again, she'd been the one who stuck around and believed in him when he'd said he would come back from Bolivia. She did not move on or forget about him. Maybe that's part of what this was: payback for the six months she'd had to go without him.

But she knew, deep in her heart, as she walked around to sit next to him at the island, that this wasn't payback. Jay loved her through the good and the bad, and tonight was just another example of that. She could cry in front of him and keep one of the stupidest secrets about lunch, and he'd still choose her at the end of the day.

He kissed the side of her head before passing over a plate with a piece of pizza on it, and she leaned into him for a moment.

Whatever she was going through - migraine or not - she'd get through it because she had Jay.

She wasn't scared.

At least right now she wasn't.

A/N: One last round of mini angst before we wrap up the fic? Forgive me? :)

However, any questions you may have won't be answered for a couple weeks. I'm taking a break for the holiday and will be back on July 15. I hope you all enjoy the summer, and I'm excited to come back and share the end of this fic with you - I can't believe we've passed 40 chapters!

Talk soon :)

- Beth