When spring started to warm the nights, Will turned them north across the Pyrenees and through Francia and sailed to England, followed by Norway, Sweden and Denmark.
Will liked the Danes and wished Elizabeth could be with him as they explored. Will tried but could not find his mother or sister either.
Elizabeth, for her part, also conducted some investigations. She questioned priestesses, witches and druids. None of them knew how to help. The wolf lurked next to Elizabeth, growling and raising his hackles whenever he sensed a wisp of danger.
She was not as extensive as Will was. People generally went to sleep a few hours after sundown. And those who were not asleep were distrustful of her or she of them.
They moved to Rus land and searched for help there before the nights became cold and winter descended again.
They had been cursed for a year. Both of them pretended a hope that neither had.
Oxoxoxoxoxoxox
Will rode Goliath along towards a boat to take them again to Norway. He knew he didn't sleep much as a wolf, and he didn't sleep much as a human either. Exhaustion dampened his mind and pulled down on his soul. Dread and cold had settled as a constant ache in his bones.
"You're dreaming," Elizabeth echoed over his shoulder, but when he turned to find her he only saw shadows creeping around the corners of his vision. That was a new development after the first cursed year. His mind conjured her up, but always out of view.
He trudged along, leaning over the saddle. He was barely able to hold on. He slipped from the saddle and crashed into the ground.
—————————————
"Papa?" a little girl's voice came with a nudge to his arm. He was laying face down in the grass. He was so tired that he turned his head away, his eyes unopened. "Pop pop!" a toddler jumped next to him, falling on top of Will. Annoyed, he pushed himself up from the grass to scold the children, but froze and sank back to his knees.
The little girl looked at him with a quirk in her brow, amused amber eyes and an extra curl in her smile. The toddler was a boy with his black hair and glacial eyes. His eyes had the impish gleam Elizabeth did, and extra curled smile. The boy screeched a laugh as he toddled away. The boy looked over his shoulder as if waiting to be chased. But Will was glued to the grassy ground. The toddler clapped his hands and made an annoyed hoot.
"Papa!" the girl demanded, climbing onto his lap and putting her arms around his neck. Will remained silent, but put both hands on either side of her face in a close examination. He knew those gold eyes and indulgent smile. Where was their mother?
"Papa!" the girl said, annoyed, patting his cheeks to wake him. "Pop pop!" the boy yelled, throwing himself at Wills side. Instinctively, he shot an arm out to catch and capture the boy. With both children in his arms he nearly broke, clutching both against him a crushing embrace they protested and squirmed against.
"What's wrong Papa!" the girl demanded to know. The boy just shrieked in annoyance at his capture.
"I just haven't seen you in a while," Will said, hearing his own low voice.
"Mother wanted us to wake you– Ahh!" the girl shrieked in surprise as he stood up quickly, letting both children slip to the ground.
Elizabeth? Where? He looked around frantically seeing a familiar manor down the hill from his spot under a tree. His family house! He took three running steps when crying stopped him.
The boy sat crying next to his sniffling, dejected sister, tears flooding her amber eyes. His heart squeezed painfully at the sight. He went back to fetch them, picking one up in each arm and turning back to the manor. He marched with quick, long strides.
The boy and girl squirmed and wiggled so much that he had to help them climb around him, never breaking stride. The girl settled on his back, arms wrapped around his neck and chin digging into his shoulder. The boy wiggled and kicked so much that Will just had to carry him under his arm, kicking feet frontwards and head backwards. The little girl hummed a happy tune in contentment.
Quickly they arrived at the manor, where Will stood at a loss of where to go. The last time he had been inside was when he was eleven. He was now around thirty.
"Mother's in the kitchen Papa," the girl said pointing at a side door. He ran over, the children's giggles surrounding him. He ducked inside the darkened doorway, willing his eyes to adjust faster.
"Mama!" the boy shrieked, wriggling with more energy until Will set him down. The girl seemed content to stay perched on his back. The kitchen had one woman, a ruddy faced servant woman who gave him an amused smile. The toddler was off, running through the kitchen, after his mother.
Will followed his little guide down a hall, through one room and into another room with tall sunny windows and a table with food. Will was getting impatient to see Elizabeth! The toddler sprinted as fast as his little legs could go, calling Mama over and over. Will turned to look out the window to see if she was outside.
He heard the boy shriek a loud, delighted laugh and whipped around to see Elizabeth on the floor, tickling the boy in an ambush. Her laugh pierced through Wills heart and he fell to his knees. This drew Elizabeth's mischievous, glowing face to him.
"Elizabeth!" he breathed out as a prayer. She looked confused as she heaved herself up. She was very much with child again, and she held a hand under her stomach for support. Their child. Will felt a rush of life through his blood at seeing it.
"Darling, get off Papa," she said, making the girl hop off. Elizabeth took his face in her hands as he drank in the sight of her. "What's wrong Will?" she asked, wiping the tears from his face. He couldn't answer, he could only hold her hands against his face and press kisses to her palms.
She leaned down to kiss his forehead with a lingering, thoughtful touch. "You don't have a fever," she said, her eyes growing wide in surprise as he shot up and crushed her to him with a scalding kiss. One hand in her hair, the other around her waist clinging to her and bringing her closer.
"The baby! The baby!" she exclaimed, tearing her lips from his. He claimed them again, this time mindful of the child within her. She responded in a comforting manner, running her hands up and down his arms and back. The children made noises of disgust behind him, but he ignored them and claimed all of her attention for himself.
Soon, he calmed, held her close and rested his cheek on her hair. She scratched his head and neck. The boy screamed behind them in anger.
They both sighed and turned to their children. The girl was standing on a chair reaching across the table and filling her plate dreadfully out of proportion. The boy was angry at her for sliding the honey out of his reach.
Elizabeth went to the girl and Will went to the boy, giving him a flick on the ear. The boy opened his mouth indignantly, holding his ear, and pointing at his sister, but then decided to keep quiet at the look on his fathers face.
Will helped his son with his food, copying what Elizabeth had readjusted on his daughter's plate. The boy's bottom lip still protruded sadly and it tugged at his heart. So, Will dropped extra honey on the bread for him. However, when the boy turned his head to hide a secretive, triumphant smile from him, he knew he'd been swindled by a toddler. Will's face must have shown his surprise at the gall of the boy, because Elizabeth nearly dissolved into giggles at the sight.
After eating, and listening to his daughter's happy chatter, Elizabeth decided they should walk in the orchard. Will had the children walk their things back to the kitchen while he cleaned up the rest of the table, after whispering promises into Elizabeth's ear that made her blush and smile to hear. He was nearly overwhelmed that he was home with her.
The servant woman came to remove things while Elizabeth and Will herded the little pair towards the orchard. He never let go of her hand. They wandered to a creek that cut through the orchard.
Will was not worried as his children went to splash and throw rocks and sticks into the shallow creek. Elizabeth sighed about their clothes. He just squeezed her hand and helped her sit, to better appreciate the happy moment. He sat next to her and coaxed her to lean against him. The contented sigh she released when she lay her head on his shoulder warmed his soul to bursting. The sunset was a brilliant orange and red as his children squealed, happily at play.
He was too scared of losing this moment to close his eyes, though sleepiness tugged at them. He just stared at his wife, committing her face to memory. He lifted his head to check on his suddenly silent children.
Dread and horror jerked his soul.
They lay lifeless in the creek. He dove towards them, seeing blood drain from his daughter, her vibrant amber eyes blank. His son was gashed and torn, a look of fear frozen where a mischievous grin had once lay.
"No!" he howled, pain ripping through him, "God! No!" he barked, turning to Elizabeth in fear, only to see her laying on the ground. Claw marks and bite marks covered her. She lay in a pool of blood. Below him, his paws glistened with their blood, a metallic taste in his mouth.
"No!" he screamed, throwing himself up and off the ground and away from the heinous sight. Elizabeth! Their baby! Their children! Their blood on his hands! God, he could see her lifeless eyes staring at him in frozen horror!
Goliath and the hawk watched him as he convulsed on the ground. He shouted and cried on the ground, clutching his hair and yelling at the sky.
Eventually his mind settled and he realized it was a nightmare. The bloodied orchard and its dead melted from his sight. The hawk--Elizabeth!-- was perched healthy and alive on Goliath's saddle.
Will crawled to his feet, staring at the hawk, who regarded him with the same indifferent curiosity as his horse did.
"If we get out of this," he vowed, "we are never having children." He could no longer trust himself, or open himself up to the possibility of more heartache. He still felt their blood, heavy and wet on his hands.
Oxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Elizabeth stared into the forest blankly. It was a new moon. Her mind was always terribly active during this black part of the month.
She heard bright music and laughing voices. She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head.
She didn't really hear it. She couldn't! She was deep in a forest half way up a mountain. She hadn't heard a real human voice in over three months. The last she did, she hid from.
She watched shapes dance in the darkness. Hopping, twirling, holding hands. When did she last touch a person? It was probably the wolf hunter when she clawed his eye out. She shuddered at the thought.
The shapes started to take form. Smiling mouths, happy eyes alight with recognition as the dancers looked at each other. She felt searing jealousy at watching it.
Across the room, she saw a tall familiar figure.
Will!
She got up and rushed to him. What was he doing here? He hated dancing. She stood right in front of him and called his name.
He looked through her, his icy eyes didn't light up for her as they usually did. He took a step forward and walked through her. She gasped a little and put her hands to herself. Was she not flesh? She turned around, bewildered, to try and stop her husband. She reach out a hand to grab his, but hers misted around his.
She took a closer look at her hand. It wad red, raw and chapped. Surely the injuries proclaimed her as corporeal. She went to block him again, but felt herself as cold and inconsequential as mist. He went through her without even seeing her.
He offered a pretty redhead to dance.
Elizabeth could only stare at the happy scene unfolding around her. As people passed through her, she felt the same unnerving feeling.
Was she finally dead? Was she a spirit now? The curse must have broken with her death, for Will looked healthy and happy. How had she let him suffer for so long? She had come and destroyed his whole life. His reputation, his title, his family legacy were all torn asunder. By her!
The music was bright and happy. The dancers were joyous. There was a society here that she couldn't be a part of. She tried to grab someone, but she was walked through. No one could see her or hear her.
She sat down dejectedly to watch Will smile at the red head. He looked happy. It lifted her heart a little to see it. Even if it wasn't with her, she wished him love and joy. He deserved it. Perhaps her death was a good thing, if it meant he was released. She smiled as he laughed at something his partner said.
"Are you ready?" someone said over her shoulder. She jolted and gasped, having given up on any interaction. It was a dark, hooded figure that stood just beside her. She couldn't see his face.
"I would like to watch for a little longer," she said softly, feeling a darkness seeping from the figure. He held out a hand, a bone white one.
"It's time to go," she was told. She stood up quickly and backed away, feeling that awful misting feeling as people moved through her. She needed to get away, but the room was small and she couldn't find a door. The hooded figure followed after her.
She tried to hide in crowds, but they moved through her, leaving her exposed. The hooded figure ghosted towards her.
She ran to Will to grab his arm, a deep primal fear almost paralyzing her. She couldn't grab him, she had no body. His glacial eyes didn't see her as he moved away from her. The figure lifted his hand to grab hold of her arm.
She let out a scream of terror and backed up so quickly she fell over. Tears were running down her face. The fighter leaned over to grab her.
Suddenly a wolf jumped in front of her, in between her and the figure. It snarled and barked, as if protecting her. The hooded figure stood back up and dissolved, taking the entire vision with him. Not Will! She thought as she looked to see Will be blown away.
She screamed again in frustration and residual fear, crying as she was left behind in the cold, black night.
Maybe she should have gone when the figure asked. Then she wouldn't be alone. Then she could've gone with Will. But they were all ghosts… Right? Or was she?
The wolf walked over to her and leaned into her. He was real. She could feel him. She burst into tears and threw her arms around the creature. Holding onto him as if he were the last thing in the world.
Sitting in a dark, cold, empty forest, he was the last thing in her world.
Oxoxoxoxoxoxox
Elizabeth wandered in the half moonlight with the wolf. She did not sleep well as a woman, and she did not sleep as a hawk. She wondered how she functioned. She was beginning to feel a dampening on her mind, a deep exhaustion that made her slow. Like too many glasses of wine.
Every once in a while her vision would flicker into a waking dream with Will whole and healthy, holding a boy, while beckoning to her. A little girl would shout "Mother" and run towards her. Her visions flickered away before she had any contact.
Maybe if she killed herself she could join them.
She tried to remember the last time she spoke to another human.
The sun was beginning to rise. She prayed to see him remember her. He had done it only twice in the two years they'd been trapped. He had woken up and his eyes shifted to their human blue. They lit up in shocked disbelief and he had run for her. She was so surprised she could only lift her arms, with his name on her lips before she turned. She treasured those two sunrises even though she knew it pained him. Seeing Will not recognize her for so many sunrises was like a special curse for her.
They never saw each other for sunset. Will had never trusted himself, and he had returned to her so often with blood on his snout that she didn't trust him either.
She watched as he ghosted into his two forms, the man and the wolf. His amber eyes opened, the same shallow, dull eyes of the wolf. She closed her eyes in grief and felt the familiar jerk at her conscience.
Oxoxoxoxo
Will fought through the bindings in his mind. He cursed his waking amnesia. He just wanted a glimpse of his wife! Just a glimpse!
But when he came to himself, the hawk was already riding the new day's wind. He fell to his hands and knees in abject grief.
He wanted to kill himself. He felt perpetually exhausted.
A ghostly figure of Elizabeth crept along his peripheral vision. He could never look directly at the figure. The details of her face were lost in a haze. The amber was missing from her face.
He felt like he was losing his mind, losing his sight. He wished someone would tell him all would be fine! He was falling apart.
"You're not fine," the phantom Elizabeth said in a low voice, "you haven't been fine for two years."
Will felt his heart skip several beats. Stopping its beat altogether in a painful manner for a few seconds. He winced as he pressed a hand to his chest. That had been going on for around a year, getting worse and worse. He knew he couldn't go on for much longer. He was going to die.
Could he leave Elizabeth alone, living half a life? No, he couldn't leave her behind. But could he… kill his Elizabeth? His happy, cherished companion?
He felt silent tears trail down his face. He was long past expressions. His face was frozen in a cold, impassive expression. But locked far below, he was just as panicked and desperate as he was at the start. Desiring Elizabeth above all else. Alas, two years of disappointments had made his soul calloused and his demeanor blank.
He remembered about nine months ago, long after the paper and money had run out, he heard tales of a priest. A priest who would drunkenly ramble about a curse of two lovers doomed to be always together but eternally apart.
But when he found the priest he discovered it to be Fitzwilliam! Living as an outcast in an old castle. Fitzwilliam was far drunker than anything Will had ever seen. And the man broke when he saw Will's stoic face.
"Will! Forgive me!" he cried, great tears running down his unkempt face.
"Forgive you?" Will asked in great confusion, only glad to see him.
"It was me," Fitzwilliam said, his voice rough with emotion, "the cleric confession. I drank too much. I confessed to the Bishop." Will's heart jolted painfully as his friend's words sunk in.
They were cursed because of him? Elizabeth was taken from him because of Fitzwilliam?
Will flew into a blind rage. He hardly knew what he was doing. Tables were smashed, chairs destroyed. Crumbling walls he pushed over. He broke the bridge's left side in absolute fury.
"I'll kill you!" Will snarled, "I'll hunt you down to my last breath once I've finished with the Bishop!"
"Please, let me help you break the curse," Fitzwilliam cried, "for Elizabeth."
That just sent Will farther into madness. He was determined to bring the castle down, and leave the man in the winter night like Elizabeth had been condemned to. Will would hunt him like Elizabeth was hunted. Will had killed the Bishop first though.
Eventually, he stormed out, shouting threats and promises of violence.
"If you give up now," the phantom Elizabeth said, "you can come be with me."
But Will just wanted to be with his Elizabeth.
And he would be with her. After he completed his quest and killed the Bishop. Then he could die and be with her.