This was not the reunion I expected at all

I am supposed to have a clearer state of mind, not full of booze in my system that makes my feelings rise to new heights.

What am I supposed to do right now? Do I run away again? Do I just wave? Kyoshi please guide me because I feel in danger.

Those are his blue eyes, always standing out from the crowd, his jaw has become so so…sharp. Sharper than the last time I saw that picture in the newspaper.

Oh, yes, he hid the fact he is in a relationship. Well, it is not his duty to inform me what he does with his heart and pants but…really? That one she told me nothing happened only for that relationship to be a formal one?

Crap, crap crap crap

His arms look so tight in that t shirt, oh my forking unagui deep in sea salt water, why does he look even better?

You hate him. Love and hate are too close, you used to love him, he left you to be better and clean up his mess, the one he turned you into. You talked about this. I turn away and chug my drink, helping me relax as my throat gets warmer.

I should move inside, being by the door is weird. I walk as casual as I can, trying to walk past him again. I can't, as we are side to side and our eyes meet halfway. His hand seemed to try to touch me.

"Do I know you?" I try to joke, delivering it flat as his face turns crimson. He looks so embarrassed as if trying to find words, his mouth agape.

"I-I- sorry I thought…" New voice who is this? Playful and gentle as always

"You don't have a sense of humor in the South, and here I thought boys from other nations would be funnier" I continued curling a piece of my side bangs as his face turned from shock to a small grin.

He gets a step closer and I need to lift my head to look at him, the height difference bigger than before. I can't lie about how arousing that is.

"Suki"

I forgot how I missed hearing my name spoken by him.

"Sokka"

I need her, I have needed her this whole time and seeing her just confirmed it. I open my arms and she does the same, pulling her to me. I can't help it and go in circles with her, I can hear her chest moving so I suppose she is giggling.

"Put me down!" I could barely hear her tell me and I oblige, my smile uncontrollable. She is blushing softly and I look at her as if she would disappear at any minute.

"You really are here" I whisper, breathless. I forgot to even blink as my eyes start to hurt and I do, to stop looking creepy.

"I am" Tell me you are alone. "Are you alone?"

Electra

No.

My face must have said it as she turned her own down and proceeded to look at the crowd who kept growing as more people entered the club.

"It was nice seeing you again" She tells me and tries to walk away but my hand reacts alone and she is now in my lap, blushing and frowning.

"Let me go" She demands as I can't do it quick enough. "Third time won't have a warming"

"Are you?" I ask throwing Electra out of the window, she knows our deal, she won't give me a side eye with what I am doing right now. She bites her lip as if trying to suppress her answer, please don't do that Suki, you are tempting me.

She still hasn't answered me. So she really came with someone.

"Who is he?" I ask as I carry her to where the bathrooms are supposed to be. Have I gotten stronger or is she skinnier? She looks amazing so that can't be. Suki looks a bit… intoxicated, has she been drinking too much?

Her hands carefully roam my arms and chest, I can feel how her breathing decreases. I need to taste just a little bit, I'm sure this guy won't mind if he already left her alone looking this pretty. Sorry not sorry

"So you are alone?" I repeat with my nose touching hers, I can smell it. She has been drinking a lot. I slowly put her on the ground and help reorganize her hair.

I would never take advantage of her in this state.

"I am….for you" She barely says and my ear caught it. She is drunk, she will regret it if we do something.

"Let's get you to the table" I say offering her my arm, she grabs it and we walk side to side as if nothing had changed in this three years.

Now I do see a new part of Suki. Drunk suki is fun but not in excess, I should hope I am not the only reason behind that vice.

I made a fool out of myself. I am not that drunk, or at least the adrenaline rush is not letting me feel it. We are walking up where Toph told me they would all be, I hoped I didn't need to do it as I knew how the group would look.

We let go of each other as we reach the top and I see again my group, who try their best to ignore the fact that Sokka and I walked together. I can feel an icy glare and I decide to return it, of course it would be of Electra.

I walk towards where Zuko and Ty Lee are, I need to blackout for a while.

The shots start to roll in and I see how happy everyone is around me. I can feel my heart beat out of my chest and the urge to scream indefinitely.

I drown it with another shot.

"You still rolling?" I hear Toph tell me as I nod, gazing at Electra whispering something to Sokka, who currently had an arm around her shoulder. I used to be the one under his wing.

"Give me the very best chief" I say and smile, emptiness trying to surface and make tears roll down my face. I clean them as quick as I can and Agni help me, Zuko caught me, it appears. He places a hand on my elbow with a concerned look.

"How are we feeling?" Aang asks to all of us as the group screams, our eyes meet for a brief second and my heart jumps again fuller of blood, love and sorrow as I see her snuggle closer.

"For the bride!" I say standing up, his stare full on me as they al rise they shots "For the couple to love until death do them apart!"

"You know it!" Ty lee seconds me as we all drink, well, not all of us. Is Sokka drinking? I see his drink not changing at all, maybe he is wise and doesn't mix again.

"Suki, I can notice" Zuko whispers and I look at his pained eyes. Oh no, no no. keep your word you stupid

"Maybe we all have to notice" I reply slowly. Maybe I need to feel the pressure of all of them looking at us as a couple and not as ex flames.

"No, not like this" Zuko stops me before I can even do something "Remember the promise"

"I won't l-"

Zuko moves to the other side of the room where Aang and Katara are vibing, leaving me seated alone close to the bar. I keep blinking unsure of what just happened. I stand up and walk towards the bathrooms, I need time to think alone.

How am I here?

I can feel how my eyes are burning and that's on me for drinking too much so that my face is swollen from crying. I stand up from the small chair on the bathroom and look at the mirror.

Holy Unagui I look terrible.

I try to clean up the best I can and see the door open. Blonde hair, that forking blonde hair.

"Are you alright?" How DARE she ask me if I'm doing alright?

"Who asks?"

"I do, and Sokka does too. You disappeared a while ago and Toph asked for you" she explains slowly. I nod and continue to reapply the best I can the lipstick. My sight is blurry or my makeup looks that terrible.

"I'm okay, I blacked out here" I lie and grab some water to clean the rest of the smudged makeup, she places a hand on mine to stop me and I react getting away from her, even if I stumble a little.

"You don't look okay, let me clean the edges of that makeup at least" She says getting closer, I go backwards and move out. I don't plan on being civil looking this ugly and drunk, I can always blame it on the booze. "What's your problem?"

I stop and close the door.

"Why are you even laughing?"

I am laughing? That's the dumbest question she could have asked me directly. I turn around and see her purple eyes concerned, as if I was crazy. I'm just tired.

"You. You are my problem right now. Hope you keep being happy" I confront her without getting closer, not wanting to actually bully her. I know she is not at fault at least before.

At least.

"What have I done? Is this about Sokka? We are both worried about you" She is speaking and emoting? That's new.

"You…you haven't done anything" I apologize as she steps closer, pulling a towel with water to clean up my face. I reach out for the towel, unable to let her do it. We are not close and I still don't trust her.

"So this is about Sokka" Electra confirmed just observing my movements, I hope. Her stare still feels icy, maybe I had misjudged her. After all he was the one who promised, we all knew she threw shots at him.

"I will go back to the table, I have been too absent" I say giving back the towel as she nodded, letting me go finally. I grab the sides of the stairs to keep some balance as the lights hurt my eyes, looking down until I saw more and more shine.

"Where were you?" Ty lee screamed as I smiled back, the biggest I could to hide how swollen my eyes had gotten. Katara also got closer seeing me, she doesn't seem that drunk so that's why she probably is here.

"Bathroom, I fell asleep and puked" I lied and Katara nodded, almost as if trying to make sense of why it took me so much.

"Are you alright?"

It stung so much that question.

"Yes, don't worry" Played it cool, walking towards Aang, Zuko and Toph who were chatting with beers. Ty Lee grabs my arm as we walked and Katara seemed to be following, or I hoped so.

"Hey bombshell!" Toph screamed handing me the bottle as she tried to pour some in my glass, I stop her and grab the bottle instead to chug it.

"Woah! Long time I haven't seen you do that" Aang said smiling as the warmness in my throat increases. I smile and passed it to the one to my side.

"C'mon Sokka! You haven't drink anything!" Toph complained as I realize he is sitting by my side, he passes the bottle to Katara who serves more to her and shrugs.

"Wait for the actual wedding day" Electra says, since when is she seated by Zuko? Zuko looks at me as if trying to decipher me, looking a bit grumpy. "He will probably get wasted"

"Not as much as I would like to" Oof, his voice did change and it's driving me crazy. In both ways.

The vibrant lights and changes of light have made me lost track of time and I am not longer sure what time is it. I keep drinking and drinking, playing games with Toph and stumbling as I move out of my center.

I feel really light headed as the music gets louder, this is way better than the parties at the fire nation! We are lost in our own world and I dance as if that was my own talent. I grab somebody, and then another person, their faces mix and blur as I ingest.

My legs are burning and I sit down, letting off my hair as the buns had gotten my head hurting- Or is it all the drinking? No, I puked.

I hadn't puked.

Oh no.

This night was horrendous

I don't remember Suki getting that drunk at the fire nation to the point of passing out in the couch and that keeps worrying me as the chatting died on the way back to Aang's house. Ty Lee tried her best to keep tabs on her but she is close to be wasted too.

I'm glad that the one that got to help Suki was Aang and not Sokka, which I know it's not the correct thing to think or be happy about. I'm not sure if the booze in my system is helping me loose some sanity but I was not imagining things when I saw them enter the section together.

And that makes me furious. We had a pact, a word that right now is being thrown out of Appa.

"Light up buddy, the other side of the nation can see your frown"

"Sokka shut up"

It would be wise for him to actually listen to Katara, as I refuse to be the topic again at this type of events. It's not wise for me again to do these same mistakes as that day at the ball. The ride was shorter than when we left and we all descended by Appa's tail.

I tried my best to carry Ty Lee with Karina, my eyes kept wandering looking for Suki to be taken care of but my eyes are either failing me or Ty's constant waggling has made me dizzy.

"Aang has her" I hear Karina whisper me as I blush, getting caught. "I will check on her later"

I keep walking as we pass the corridor that now feels gigantic, letting Ty Lee on the bed safely. I just want to lay down here but I know that if I do that it would hurt my back horribly.

"Let me just change her and I'll escort you back" Karina says guiding me behind the curtain as I curb her and go towards the door.

"I know where mine is, Aang is patrolling here so I don't think nothing bad would happen" I say leaning my body on the wall.

"Suki will kill me if anything happens to you" Karina says scoffing "Go on, I gotta check on her too"

"Night" I make my exit and walk towards were my firelady would be sleeping…fire lady? Who am I trying to make a fool…she would never accept such position. I open the door and see her sleeping fondly, neatly tidy under her blankets by the side.

I walk towards her face and bucket and sit, my fingertips brushing out some hair that fell to her face, her breathing lulling me as my eyes heaved fighting back the urge to fall asleep.

"Suki?"

I hide immediately under the bed as I hear Katara whisper, entering the room to check on her it seems. I feel blessed that these blankets are too big, I'm guessing it's because of the designer and not actually their idea.

"Kat, I need to leave" I hear Sokka out of the door and his footsteps, then probably, katara's hurried ones to help his brother.

"Can't you see I'm trying…."

Close call, I should probably leave. I get out of under the bed and see Suki briefly moving. How vulnerable and sincere she can be when out of that shell. I hope tonight's interaction with her ex is just unfinished business and that.

I don't want to admit that this might end. This can't end.

"What are you doing on the corridor?"

Oh, Electra.

"I was searching for Katara" I lie and walk towards her, I thought they were leaving the house? I am sure both live together.

"She was saying goodbye to us, want her to help you finding Suki's room?"

Oof.

My face must have shown something as she smirked briefly before walking away. I facepalm myself as I walk towards my uncle's and I shared room. Why haven't I thought that was the reason Suki was trying to get my attention to be official?

Electra knows. We don't know how she might use that information, in our favor or against?

It doesn't matter as I refuse to be blackmailed by someone.

"And that's why you were all so drunk since you came here?"

Silence.

What is Sokka doing here? Doesn't he have his own house?

"Zuko! Your uncle is telling me that you all got the party started before hitting the shore here. Is that why you are so grump?" He joked

"What are you doing here?" I ask not pleased at all. Drunk people always get a pass, bad excuse but good enough for me to use it.

He is taken a bit by surprise as he thinks about his answer.

"For old times, as if we camped"

I had not missed those days when we camped together at foreign places and that green green grass that at time tickled me a lot when I moved around to find a more comfortable position. I just couldn't get past the idea of me leaving Suki after seeing her. I can't.

I am aware that I also can't just intrude in her life like this and hope to fix everything in less than four days. Katara needs me to calm her at times, like right now.

"Sokka are you even listening? Damn it! This is so stupid" She said sitting down in a nervous wreck, trembling. Why is she so nervous?

"It's not, Aang loves you, he won't care about what you wrote" I try to reason with her as she glares angered.

"I care! I need to do it the less cheesy-romantic-overthought way I can!" Oh Katara, I smile suppressing a laugh at how she was so so nervous. She rolls her eyes and sits down to start writing again, mumbling something about overthinking.

And here I thought it was a problem for me just planning everything way ahead of time.

"We should really get out of the room" I said thinking about hitting up Suki and that guy she is going out with, if my judgment is right, is probably Zuko. That glare and frown he carried all night after seeing us arrive together is not a coincidence. We were supposed to be cool…

"Oh no! WHAT? What time is it?" Katara panicked looking around to change again. I carried her outside, she needs the sun and beach!

"Time for a break! We have the beach party" I remind her as she exhales, tapping me to put her down.

"Let me get the bag, are they already there?" She asks me as if I wasn't with her since the morning were she bribed me to help her with beef jerky from our house.

"I should hope so, all of them were wasted so hitting the water should be refreshing, to say the least" I joked as she rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag.

"Are we waiting for Electra?" She asks me with a grin, knowing damn well that I am planning to break up with her. Not just right now…we need to keep a low profile for the sake of her career, I don't want to keep tarnishing it with scandals.

And Tui knows how the people love gossip.

"Yes, I'll search at the house for her" I say it as if I won't actually search for Suki, walking towards the hall were the girls are supposed to be, seeing several rooms already empty. I knock were Electra is supposed to be staying and I hear her hum.

The door opens and I see her with a new braid, looks pretty for me. She leads the way as I try to glance around the doors and see a hint of my favorite Kyoshi warrior.

"She already left" Oh, she read my mind "She looks prettier than the last time we saw her"

"I know" I reply back with a stupid face, trying my best to reorganize my thoughts as we reach Katara's living room, where she already waits for us.

"I still think that swimsuit is too modest" Ty tells me as the boys help her shield her skin from the sun, laying down to close her eyes. "Don't you think so boys?"

"Absolutely" The boy says as I giggle, laying down in my arms. How is that swimsuit too modest? I can almost feel my ass hanging out from it. Zuko arrives shortly with two ice creams, did he bought me an ice cream?

It's strawberry and chocolate, sweet! His face looks regretful, I'm guessing this has to do with yesterday? I grab it and lick it as he sits by my side.

"Do you want some?" I ask Ty lee who is currently playing volleyball, huh? That was fast.

"Do you like it?" He asks uncertain, as I playfully lick the cone, nodding. "I'm glad you do, I hope this can repay a bit of last night attitude"

I nod along, trying to ignore the fact that the only two things I remember is my chat with Electra and Zuko rejecting me. I do remember my interaction with Sokka but I'm working really hard to ignore that too.

"We still need to talk about your drinking problem"

I stop eating and stare. What did he just said?

"Please! Don't get mad, I just…was worried that you passed out on the couch. I haven't seen you that drunk and I suspect…"

"This has something to do with Sokka am I right?" I finish his sentence with my best stoic face, he nods along and I sight. "Maybe"

I need to trust him again as when we talked about this stuff, but him being my partner is just too weird!

"So…please keep in mind our promise" He says biting into his ice cream, who does that? Are his teeth unable to feel the ice?

"I have it very present, I said I won't leave you. Yesterday I wanted to go out of the shadows….to be official"

"For what reason? The same one that made you start dating me?" He replies annoyed and I can understand the snark behind his answer, I just didn't expect it today that I feel so bad.

I just sat quietly, eating my ice cream as the heat was starting to melt it. It's not fair to string him along, but I made an actual promise and gave him my word. I just need better emotional control.

The wound feels fresh yet, it's tiring. Feeling blue and gloomy all the time for one amazing boy who is looking better than ever and might still have feelings for me.

Shoot, this is selfish. You are selfish, Mai saw through you stupid stupid girl. But Zuko makes me feel amazing, and that is worth saving that relationship, I won't end it.

"It's for a greater good, isn't it?" I ask loudly and Zuko stares, no, it's not for a greater good.

"Are you afraid of tainting your image with him?" He asks me more aggrsively and I look shocked. I have worked past that phase where I wanted to please him entirely. Or any boy.

"What are you even talking about?" I ask, wanting to hear the reasoning behind his totally justified jealousy. Maybe I should stop dating him? He does deserve someone as loyal and loving as Mai…

In her own way of course.

"She saw us getting out of the bathroom in the restaurant. Are you afraid she will tell him that?"

"He already knows and I couldn't care about it. I'm more worried about going out with you but you are making it incredibly difficult right now" I blurt out and I regret it immediately. He frowns and walks aways, completely understandable, towards the food area.

Oh Zuko, I love you, I really do. But even I am starting to think you don't love enough of you to keep up with my childish acting.

"Mind if I sit here?"

I glance as casually as I can upwards. Damn, he is attractive. Sit down random boy, I think I have had enough of war heroes in the same group.

Great, she already has another guy by her side. Why is she even like this? We had a deal, a promise she is breaking along with my heart.

Why is it so damn difficult to keep up with you Suki?

"Are you the firelord?" I get taken out of my thoughts with the blonde girl sitting next to me. That's Electra. She giggles and orders some beverage I haven't heard of. "You look anguished, want me to take care of you?"

"What do you want?" I rudely said, unintentional of course, as the barman hands us the drinks. Oh, how nice, she ordered one for me.

"I want to talk about your girl who is flirting with that handsome man" She says glancing sideways where Suki and that musclebrain are talking. I huff and smell the drink. This is pure alcohol, there is no way this is a drink.

"You saw us, what do you want, I ask again" I say clearer, not wanting to negotiate anything for my sake but for Suki's, who is trying to be stronger and not dwell in the fact that she cares a lot about her image too.

I mean who doesn't.

"I want you to be happier" She says it in a way that reminds me of a younger Azula, though I'm sure she is older than her. "I want you to test her without her knowledge and see for yourself is she is willing to stay by you"

I rise an eyebrow, who am I to accept that? My dad?

"You have to be joking" I reply immediately and drown in that alcohol, getting hit with all of that spice as I cough.

"I am not I assure you. Let me get you an insight. We are both in the same road, Sokka loves Suki and she loves him. You don't want to lose her even if you know she was never yours" Shut up please

She doesn't know Suki that much to just assume she will run again to him.

"I don't want to keep talking to you about this" I say standing up as she grabs my robe and sits me down. She is not that strong, I could easily brush her aside but I don't want more attention

"Let them act and pretend they don't want each other and the more they will be drawn. Act as if you don't care if she cheats on you and she will be more aware an in control" Electra says and I think a little bit about it.

It does make sense, doesn't it?

The more you deny it, the more you want it. Beach days to me never seem to be sunny for me, something always happens that ruins all of the day.

I can't help but think about Mai…how must she have felt of me being jealous about everything and anything that looked her way? Now that I have a really valid reason I just can't play two faced and see how develops.

Not if it risks my own opportunity with her.

I have been here, for a good fifteen minutes looking at that beauty over there with what I must assume is her new beau?

He is good looking and seems to be funny as she can't keep her laughs to herself. Damn it. I should have arrived earlier, damn it!

"Snoozles wake up! Want to play?" Toph barks as I roll my eyes, leaning down my glasses to glare. Forgetting that she doesn't even know I am probably staring.

"Sure, I need to distract myself" I say walking towards the playing area, where Ty lee, Aang and Katara rested, waiting for someone else to join them.

I jogged as loud as I could and hoped I can catch her attention, and then I fell. Face first. Great.

And then I hear her beautiful laugh, the one she always reserved when I tried to do a form and fell miserably. I stood up and slightly looked at her and

YES

She was glancing, with a small smirk as the other guy still tried to get her attention.

"We still need two more people to play the game, won't you play with us?" Katara asked Ty's fling who nodded and got in Ty Lee's team immediately.

"Suki!" Ty screamed, her adorable face full of curiosity as her attention shifted from me towards her friend, who signaled her to play the game with us. She jogged towards us and in less then a minute she was on the line, with my team.

Well, Katara's team to be technical, I joined last minute too.

"All set then" Aang said changing his side towards Ty Lees so it would be fair. Three vs three. We got in position to form a plan, close enough that our heads almost touched.

"No bending allowed to keep it fair" As if we could bend, sis.

"The our advantage is gone" Suki joked and I couldn't help but choke a laugh, as Katara smirked, pushing me, what in Tui and la was that for?! I should really start putting my hands in front of me. I got picked up by none other than my favorite warrior, damn, how did she pick me up so easily?

"Eyes on the ball, they are already saying you are the weak potato" She told me smirking, I nodded and smiled back. She nodded again. I'm sure she got the plan by now.

As kuei ball starts, we all follow the ball with our eyes as Ty lee kicked it towards our side, going directly to where I was standing. I lift it enough for Katara to put it in our favor so it could be thrown as humanly possible.

I forgot my girlfriend is so so strong, as she kicks the ball hard enough that Aang barely stops it with his bending.

"No bending allowed!" Katara screamed to Aang who shrugged and sent her a kiss. Oogies.

"Watch it!"

Oof, again on the floor. Her hands grabs my arm and yanks me up, oooooh, she is using perfume? She smells so nice, like vainilla and…something I don't seem to recognize.

"Sokka, watch it, you are too distracted" Suki tells me that, of all people, really?

"With such a gorgeous art in front of me, is hard to not be distracted Suki"

The rose tinted cheeks that I missed came back, pushing back a strand of hair that fell from her long ponytail. She blinked and look towards the ball that was far away from her, and still managed to kick it up.

She is going to kill me with how shy she has gotten around me.

Oof

I did deserve that

"Head in the game" Suki joked at me as she passed the ball back towards Ty Lee, who seemed to giggle at my own stupidity. I smile and giggle too.

I wanted to get down my hair as the weight was starting to make my head hurt from carrying it, the sun didn't help as we played so many hours. Kyoshi for being an island wasn't this hot! No wonder they have a lot of water fountains nearby.

When we saw we were not getting anywhere Toph decided to close the case with a draw, fair enough for me but we were all starving, Katara offering herself to get the drinks but how do you enjoy your beach party if you are doing everything?

And know I'm here ordering a whole lot of alcohol to the other side of the sea, with a very expected companion. Not that I didn't miss him, but…

Zuko was still very serious about our chat earlier and it unnerved me still. I wish I could ask for more time but three years has been a lot, to process. I like him, I love his company and I don't know what would I do without him.

But I am lying if I say Sokka is not charming me again. Charismatic motherfu-

"Suki, do you want anything else?" He takes me out as I refuse, he finishes the order and we sit waiting. I can see Karina in between the people in her best camouflage. I can't believe I made her use a bathing suit too, wish I could keep this memory in a painting to laugh about it later.

Boys are already hitting on her as she glances at me, smirking and rolling her eyes.

"Are you staring at those boys?" He asks me, I try not to look at him because that gold will melt my heart again.

"I was staring at Katarina being flirted at, something that hadn't happened in a long time" I reply gaining enough courage to look at him. He looked as serious as he used to when we rode together back from the boiling rock.

I'm not sure if that's acting or if he really is upset. Still.

Shit

"We need to talk, I know" I start as the drinks begin to come to our table. He takes a deep breath and exhales, his body not loosening at all. "About Sokka"

"Again" He adds, puffing his chest. I try my best to not get tickled about that snark because he is right to be mad.

"We wouldn't need to if…" I stop myself from saying it out loud. What consequences are that we come out as a public pairing? More unwanted fame? More questioning from our friends? Taking the spotlight from aang and katara?

"If?" He repeats, exhaling. "No if's, we are not getting out in public as a couple"

What?

"Don't look shocked. Really Suki, you are still….way too into Sokka that it would look as attention seeking if we came out together"

What?

"Zuko…"

"Listen" He stops me, finally unclasping his hands from his arms. He looked so on guard and I didn't notice until know. "Do whatever you want, at least while being here on Republic city. Date a thousand guys, get again with Sokka and let him break you, whatever. You have your…"

I'm sure that was a swear word.

"Your stupid, that might not want to know about whatever you do while being single. We can both be lonely together, as we said years ago"

"You remember…"

"Of course I do, I stand by my word" He highlighted it really angry and my stomach turns over, have I crossed the line this time? What did happen all those hours in his head while I played?

"I stand by mine too. Why are we br-eaking up?" I choke as I said it out loud, unwanted feelings gushing out as I puff my cheeks. His face turns from anger to sadness.

"Are you seriously asking me? What was the topic before I interrupted you?"

I can't answer because I know he is right, but nothing will secure me that going back to Sokka will mean our problems just dissolve.

"Exactly. Have a wonderful vacation and back at the fire nation we can discuss us. You can be firelady or my bodyguard, the mistr-"

I slap him and I realize I'm making a scene.

"Your turn!" I joked as I drown a shot, ready to be slapped so we can pass by. Zuko catches it and drowns the shot that was supposed to be from somebody from our party, trying to slap me as I dodge it.

People go back to whatever they talked about and my heart is jumping out of my throat.

"Why did you hit me?" The hurt in his voice is not letting the feelings of dread die any soon this night. Alcohol might help me with it but at this point fog is trying to peek towards my sight and I'm not sure the cause.

"How dare you insinuate that I can be whatever you want? A mistress? Really? Is that all you have liked about our relationship?" I ask angered and he sees it, his eyes dropping a bit before getting in guard.

"Now it is a relationship? I'm shocked" He says with almost no emotion and it makes my blood boil.

"I'm leaving" I said standing without listening and I walk as fast as I can to the other side of the beach. They can always said I went with a fling or something.

Oof

"Suki? Are you alright?"

Of course I have to crash with the damn core of my fucking problems.

"No I'm not, can you move?" I say without having enough courage to look at his eyes, he moves out and I walk again. The dawn sitting is relaxing me and I need something else to take out this sour taste of my mouth.

Jenamite.

I can't believe how easy is in here to find that drug, I will report it to Toph for sure later. Right now it's more than enough. It's supposed to be dangerous and I made a promise to not use it again.

Whatever, they can paint me any personality or mindset, for what I care right now. This secluded zone is enough for me to drown in the sadness and… disappointment I feel. Not in Zuko, but in myself.

"Mind if si by your side?"

Damn it

"Not at all"

I'm not sure if the beauty of the dark blue sky and moon shinning over him increase his already attractive features; I can't help but admire them as he sits down by my side, staring at me too,

Sometimes I wonder if doing something different in the past would have avoided all the heartbreak, pain and…loosing myself. Loosing my path… What am I even doing? I hide the bag as subtle as I can but of course he notices. He is still as smart and observing as he was at fifteen.

"Are those Jenamite" More then a question, feels like an affirmation. I pull the bag and throw it in front of us, my hand shaking a bit as we both stare at it on the sand.

My voice fails me, whenever I try to talk to defend my honor, myself. A sight is the only thing I can do right now.

"I do myself drugs too"

What?

"That was the reason I did not drink at all last night" Oh. He is watching me now, I can sense it but I can't look back. It will break me even further, just like Zuko said. I can't believe he lost himself too from all of the…bad habits we formed in our relationship.

And to think that during the war we were stable. Hah!

"Do you?" I ask with disbelief, how deep do we have to fall until we can see a little bit of light? I was fine until I saw him.

"Yeah, two weeks ago I stopped. But I was afraid the whole time I would do something crazy" He continues, his hand playing with the sand, drawing circles. His hands trails towards the bag, grabbing it.

I grab it too and look at him with anger, as if warming him not to fall…

Clever. I faced him.

"Not as crazy as Jenamite" I say as Sokka opens the bag, splitting one in two. He hands me one and he takes the other piece. What?

He must have seen my face, as he smiled back goofily.

"There is a first time for everything" He replies opening his mouth, I barely stop him pushing him down while applying force in his wrist, almost breaking it from the complains he voices. But I can't let him have a bad trip and hallucinate or worse.

My heart beats harder just from the thought of it.

"Don't" I warn him

"Then why do you do it?" He interrogates, frowning.

"Because I run to these things to..to…"

I try to group my ideas, do a small checklist in which order they should be explained but I struggle horribly, there is no way I can paraphrase how lost I have been feeling these years to the point to think drugs would help me.

These week just started and it's the only one I have felt I am living.

"To what? Drown you even further in your pain?" He says getting off from my grip, his hands grabbing my shoulders as I still freeze at the lack of words.

"To these things that might show me what I am supposed to have or found by now, at our age. I had a good boyfriend. He was patient until minutes ago where he dumped me, making me feel even more lost because…he still think I'm into you"

Those gorgeous gems shine brighter, his hands softening around my shoulders

"This…this makes me forget. Only if I don't trip bad like last time"

His face turns cautious, then he softens his jaw, gazing at the waves behind me.

"I am sorry I'm the ghost ruining you" He answers me, apologizing with his voice and eyes who seemed deeply hurt.

"He is right" I cut him, admitting it out loud. A thousands pounds are off me as I feel lighter. His eyes widen in shock and I want to hide my face in the sand, munching the Jenamite immediately to forget.

"No!"

Gosh! Really? Manhadling me to the ground won't help you at all. Finally I am above him, trying my best to get out to the point of a semi fight, forgetting that I already thought this lesson to my girls of self defense and I was took off guard.

Oof! Why is he...He is stronger physically now?

I gag out the pieces with saliva, feeling humiliated. Of course he would keep trainning.

"Suki, there is no shame in that" Of course Sokka of all people would say something like that, egocentric, narcisitic, son-

"I am still in love with you, too"

Uh?

"Or well…" He stops talking, blushing "At least what I still know about you. It's not healthy and it strained other relationships I had"

As if, what about miss nothing would ever happen?

"But now you are with Electra, good acting" Goofy. I refute and he hugs me.

"Is a façade, she knows there is only one woman in my heart"

I don't know how to feel but what I don't want is a hug and an apology when I'm too emotionally vulnerable. I frown and grab his face a bit too tight, wanting to punch him, squeeze him…

To kiss it

It sobers me how touching his skin again makes me flutter and feel alive. He is the one that I want.

But I want him to say it, to win me, to get to know me.

"I missed you so much Suki, you have no idea"

He looks as if begging for something. Might be an answer, another touch, more intimacy.

But I still want to listen to him say it.

"You are the one who keeps my heart beating"

The moment was intimate, the ex couple gazing with such intensity that they froze in the position, both kneeling in front of each other, his hands on her shoulders and hers on his face, framing it.

She felt conflicted as her feelings overlapped, the promise she made to Zuko of not letting him go no matter what roamed freely.

Was it fair for the three of them to keep the farse or was it for the best to hit replay with the hopes of starting again?

Sokka this time didn't rush things, kneeling on the sand with his heart on his hands, waiting for any answer his warrior would give. If he still knew her well enough, he was about to be rejected.

"Why now?" Suki whispered, putting her head on the curve of his neck, resting it as she caught her breath, putting all her willpower to not act impulsively.

She promised something and she would keep her word, it didn't matter if Zuko let her go or gave her permission. It was not about that, it was who was there for her first.

"I was not sure I would be able to see you…and treat you as I should have from the beginning" He replied untying her hair, letting it fall over her. "I expected you to have a partner, you are too awesome to be alone"

"I'm not perfect" She answered pulling away "That's why he left me"

"Then he is making the same stupid mistake I made" Sokka said brushing her arms with his fingertips, slowly trailing them down towards her hands.

"We can't" She stopped him, standing up and trying to walk again, run. She looked back and saw him standing too, both hands in his shorts as he gazed.

"I know. I will wait for you, even if I have to die alone" Sokka said with a smile, and what Suki could not see well enough to say were tears on his eyes.

"But you are with Electra" She said angered "There is no logic in that"

"Being lonely doesn't have anything to do with the people that surround you, I'm sure you understand that better than I do" Sokka said cleaning his eyes, confirming Suki he was tearing up. "If you let me be your friend, and love you as such, we might talk in a future about why"

Suki stretched her hand immediately, unsure if of the yearn of touching him again or accepting his proposal.

Friends, they were friends in the beginning. At least for the week, and until her head and heart were in the right place, they could be friends.

Sokka shook it, smiling.